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Since 1995

Let's pretend we're Umpy threads

"Why is it always so cold in movie theaters?"

"What do you do with used banana peels?"

by Anonymousreply 16701/27/2014

I hate it when my socks bunch up when I slip on my shoes.

by Anonymousreply 101/14/2012

Do you think Queen Elizabeth II poops and if so does a footman wipe for her?

by Anonymousreply 201/14/2012

"Can black people get sunburned?"

"Does the Walmart brand of peanut butter, taste the same as Jif?"

by Anonymousreply 301/14/2012

All I did was ask my supervisor what brand of tampon she uses and and now she's written me up!

I was lighting farts with a match at work and someone reported me. I'm furious because I was not doing it on work time, but during my break in the staff lunch room.

I wanted the day off but have already used up all my sick time for the year. So I called in a bomb threat hoping they'd shut down the university. Campus security just called me down to their office. Do you think I'm going to get in trouble?

by Anonymousreply 401/14/2012

Why is it so hard to fold a fitted sheet?

by Anonymousreply 501/14/2012

I caught Margo's dog trying to hump Tammy. Should I kick them both out ???

by Anonymousreply 601/14/2012

R4 has me in stitches.

by Anonymousreply 701/14/2012

I hate it when the snow blows sideways, instead of falling straight down.

by Anonymousreply 801/14/2012

Funny, I never realized until THIS thread how much G/R/Umpy sounds like Andy Rooney.

by Anonymousreply 901/14/2012

If you cut a Jew, does he bleed?

by Anonymousreply 1001/14/2012

Why can't I use a real mouse with my computer?

by Anonymousreply 1101/14/2012

In an attempt to imitate DL's insouciant bitchiness, I'll crap on "breast cancer whores."

Oh wait, I actually did that.

I don't always get along with my supervisor, who is a black woman. I thought I'd loosen her up a bit with the remark that Michele Obama should have a crunchy abortion. She just called me to her office. Do you think I'm about to get promoted?

by Anonymousreply 1201/14/2012

Most of these are too benign. There's an edge of anger and entitlement in Umpy's posts that goes beyond the loveable codger persona.

by Anonymousreply 1301/14/2012

I have often wondered what kind of person Umpy is in real life. How he comes off from his threads is just too exaggerated, in my opinion, to be a real person.

by Anonymousreply 1401/14/2012

I'm desperate to know what a "crunchy abortion" is. Is it a new cereal?

by Anonymousreply 1501/14/2012

If Umpy has ever gotten laid, I would be surprised.

by Anonymousreply 1601/15/2012

I'm furious with the elderly patients on oxygen using their walkers in my local clinic. Their slow movement through the corridors interferes with me racing through them when I'm late meeting my GP to talk about my hemorrhoids.

by Anonymousreply 1701/15/2012

I just got fired from my job. Now that I'm at home during the day, I think my cat hates me.

by Anonymousreply 1801/15/2012

Umpy gets a lot of shit here but he seems harmless and posts random questions or thoughts which I sometimes laugh at. At least it gets the board moving.

by Anonymousreply 1901/15/2012

R11 just destroyed me!

by Anonymousreply 2001/15/2012

I gave my roommate a Weight Watchers membership for her birthday and now she's pissed off at me. I was only trying to give her something she needs. Should I make it up to her by getting her deodorant or new underpants?

by Anonymousreply 2201/15/2012

Best thread in a long time! I am laughing too hard. I think I'll go have a big bowl of Crunchy Abortion and milk!

by Anonymousreply 2301/15/2012

There's something about African-American women's luscious breasts that I think is so sensual and life-affirming. But I said this to my black co-worker and for some reason she filed a complaint with HR.

by Anonymousreply 2401/15/2012

Would some kind soul explain the "crunchy abortion?"

by Anonymousreply 2501/15/2012


by Anonymousreply 2601/15/2012

R25, it came from R12.

R26, WTF?

by Anonymousreply 2701/15/2012

Do Asian women prefer men with small penises since, historically, that's what they're used to?

Anything I've purchased in the refrigerator is clearly labeled, but I think my roommate has been using some of the condiments. Should I develop a pricing scheme so she can just pay me for the items she's used come rent time?

A co-worker just returned from maternity leave. She had triplets, so I asked her if it will take three times as long for her vagina to heal. She's not speaking to me, but I've heard she plans on going to HR to file a complaint.

by Anonymousreply 2801/15/2012

e27 I read that article this a.m. and the subject matter and faux naivety of it reminded me of a presumably fat, supposedly real, known troll.

by Anonymousreply 2901/15/2012

LOL @ R28

by Anonymousreply 3001/18/2012

What kind of sanitary napkins do Jewish women buy? Is it the same kind black women buy?

Also: Would you hire someone that wore ugly clothes and had bad breath? I come to work on time.

by Anonymousreply 3101/18/2012

Was Ignatius Reilly a sympathetic character?

by Anonymousreply 3201/18/2012

Mother says no more truck stop friends at holiday meals; they just bring back the scabies.

I'm modifying my mobility scooter with magazine cut-outs of strong black women - from National Geographic Africa pictorials. How do you get glue out of your hair?

Tammy is afraid of the scooter since I've rolled over her tail in the kitchen twice. How do you repair a refrigerator door?

by Anonymousreply 3301/18/2012

I'm out of cat food, so I'm feeding Tammy gold fish crackers. She's been leaving poopies on my head as I sleep for the last two nights.

by Anonymousreply 3401/18/2012

Three of my nipples hang to the right.

by Anonymousreply 3501/18/2012

I resent cashiers taking my money for groceries. They should be free.

by Anonymousreply 3601/18/2012

Would my roommate's vacuum wand attachment make me poo more efficiently?

by Anonymousreply 3701/18/2012

What causes ear wax?

by Anonymousreply 3801/18/2012

I am in tears.

by Anonymousreply 3901/18/2012

What's the difference between salted and unsalted butter?

by Anonymousreply 4001/18/2012

I've never understood the salted and unsalted butter. Can you tell the difference and is it ok to put salted butter in sweet food?

by Anonymousreply 4101/18/2012

Jesus fuck he's become a parody of himself.

by Anonymousreply 4201/18/2012

I have a 'friend' who is also confused about butter and can't use a mouse..

by Anonymousreply 4301/18/2012

What are lipstick lesbians called when they run out of the house without their lipstick on?

by Anonymousreply 4401/18/2012

Tammy's and my roommate's periods are in sync.

by Anonymousreply 4501/18/2012

If you crap your pants at the DMV during the driving portion of the test, shouldn't the testing clerk just give you a passing grade?

by Anonymousreply 4601/18/2012

Did anyone here ever get straight 'A's because their roommate in college committed suicide?

by Anonymousreply 4701/18/2012

What do you call the stuff in between your toes - I asked everyone at my old job, but no one seemed to know. They didn't want to seem to answer the question. Even when I asked them twice.

by Anonymousreply 4801/18/2012

Does Marky Mark really have a third nipple? has anyone seen it?

by Anonymousreply 4901/18/2012

Since you asked, I googled it.

The difference between salted and unsalted butter is that salt is a preservative, and therefore salted butter lasts for months longer than unsalted. When you want the freshest butter, buy unsalted. Salted butter at the grocer is frequently not as fresh or as high quality, the salt hides it.

If you are baking or cooking, different butter brands have different amounts of salt. Most recipes call for unsalted butter, so you don't accidentally oversalt.

by Anonymousreply 5001/19/2012

How do you steam a ham? Do you put it in a collander over a pot of water? Could you use an iron?

by Anonymousreply 5101/19/2012

Tammy has vag odor. Do they make feminine douches for tiny, smelly, hairy vaginas?

Should I try the Italian market?

by Anonymousreply 5201/19/2012

I have a job interview for a greeter at Walmart. Would it be okay if I wear flip-flops, tank top, and cargo shorts to the interview? I want to stand out from the others who are applying for the job.

by Anonymousreply 5301/19/2012

Othello, who is a Moor but I think he's just black, says "Send for the man." Does this mean that Shakespeare invented ebonics? Blacks take credit for it, but maybe it was really Shakespeare. I guess Shakespeare was really ahead of his time and was aware of how blacks complain about white persecution from "the man." And how does ebonics differ from jive?

Was Cleopatra also black? Shakespeare didn't seem to think that but blacks claim her. Shakespeare is usually right about things. He got Jews just right.

by Anonymousreply 5401/19/2012

Why did the chicken cross the road? No. I mean really. Why?

by Anonymousreply 5501/19/2012

Why are rabbit eggs only sold at Easter time? Why can't we buy them at other times of the year? I like the colors on the egg shelf in my refrigerator.

by Anonymousreply 5601/19/2012

What if one put (unsalted) butter on a mouse? What could one do with it then?

by Anonymousreply 5701/19/2012

I found a FlowBee in the trash and now Tammy and I have haircuts!

I wanted to give her a lion cut, but I only managed to give her an inverse mohawk.

Does Lysol work as a wound antiseptic?

by Anonymousreply 5801/19/2012

While my roommate was out, I sneaked in her room and started looking at her computer. I discovered she has a handgun on order and has bookmarked sites telling how some killers disposed of bodies. Should I be worried?

by Anonymousreply 5901/19/2012

Dental Floss: why don't restaurants provide dental floss dispensers atthe table alongside the napkins and salt? Who wants to look at person across from them with juicy chunks of food stuck in their teeth. Have you been to a restaurant with a dental floss dispensary? Also, how easy is it to floss a cat's teeth?

by Anonymousreply 6001/19/2012

This thread just highlighted the fact that Umpy is basically Jerry Seinfeld with Asperger's.

by Anonymousreply 6101/19/2012

[quote]I'm desperate to know what a "crunchy abortion" is. Is it a new cereal?

A "Crunchy abortion" is a late term abortion , when the fetuses cartilaginous tissue have already begun to calcify ( or harden ) into bones... hence the "crunchiness".

It was terrible of Michelle Obama to do that even if it was another girl.

by Anonymousreply 6201/19/2012

He's like the love child of Ralph Wiggum and David Duke.

by Anonymousreply 6301/19/2012

Why do some Mexicans and Indians insist on wearing cowboy hats? Don't they see the irony?

by Anonymousreply 6401/19/2012

Very funny thread.

by Anonymousreply 6501/19/2012

Re: banana peels -- no kidding, you're supposed to bury them next to your rose bushes, it keeps aphids away. I think I read this in Organic Gardening mag years ago.

by Anonymousreply 6601/19/2012

If a woman gives birth on a plane that is flying over the ocean, what is considered the baby's place of birth? The point of departure, the point of departure, or just the name of the ocean?

by Anonymousreply 6701/19/2012

Help! I have beans up my nose again and no health insurance!

by Anonymousreply 6801/19/2012

Why don't vegan restaurants have menu items for people who might eat meat? I'm tolerant of others' dietary restrictions, but I find it very rude to chastise a customer who simply expresses his preference for "pork instead of tofu."

by Anonymousreply 6901/19/2012

Did Anne Frank poop? I keep asking the Jews in my workplace and they give me strange looks.

by Anonymousreply 7001/20/2012

Lipton Tea made especially for iced tea...

Can I use it for hot?

by Anonymousreply 7101/20/2012

When Henry Ford stopped making Model T's why did he call the next model the Model A? A comes before T in the alphabet. Shouldn't he have called the new design the Model U?

by Anonymousreply 7201/20/2012

They should make gas toaster ovens. The electric kind don't cook my English muffins evenly.

by Anonymousreply 7301/20/2012

I keep my toe-jam in a small jar. Should I keep it in the fridge or is it better to keep it at room temp?

by Anonymousreply 7401/20/2012

WHET White Belt Man?

by Anonymousreply 7501/20/2012

Why do ATMs only dispense cash in multiples of 20 dollars nowadays? That ain't right.

How come lace up shoes on display in stores and catalogs are never shown with the laces tied in a bow so you can see how they look tied? The laces are always unrealistically tucked into the shoes and are almost always threaded in that weird straight across way that doesn't really represent how the shoe is supposed to look.

by Anonymousreply 7601/20/2012

Sometimes I want to contribute a funny remark to a thread or occasionaly a real-life conversation but I just can't think of anything funny or I can but its also inappropriate. Is anyone else familiar with this situation? How can one selve this problem. T.I.A.

by Anonymousreply 7701/20/2012

I'm the same way R77. Just contribute anyway like I do. Someone might just find what you wrote funny. If not, no one knows who you are!

And don't worry about being inappropriate on here. Sure, you'll probably get scolded by someone, but it will make you tougher and in turn give you more confidence.

Practice on here and see what gets the responses.

by Anonymousreply 7801/20/2012

Why do they still call it New York? It's not new anymore. Why don't they call it Old York or just York?

by Anonymousreply 7901/21/2012

"How does David Furnish sleep with Elton John?"

"Lady Gaga is a goddess"

by Anonymousreply 8001/21/2012

"If memory and emotions may be inherited through cells, does a hamburger scream when you bite into it?"

by Anonymousreply 8101/21/2012

How do you tell the difference between a queef and a fart? Recently, the lady in the cubicle beside mine lost her balance as she was sitting down. As she brusquely landed into her chair, she emitted what I initially imagined to be a fart. However, now I'm wondering if it might have actually been one of those queefs I've been reading about. How can I be sure? Does a queef smell like a fart with ichthyological highlights? I don't recall detecting any odor at all. Also, does a queef provide the same sense of relief to the vaginal canal as a fart does to the colon?

by Anonymousreply 8201/22/2012

Recently, a co-worker told me I was racist for giving her a jar of skin-lightening cream for Christmas. I told her that I meant no offense -- it was just my understanding that among black women, the standard of beauty favored a lighter skin color, and since she was black as burnt toast, I thought she might appreciate it. She told me to get out of her face, and now I've been summoned to HR. Am I going to be in trouble?

by Anonymousreply 8301/22/2012

The kead in Ting tang looks like a prettier Gaga

by Anonymousreply 8401/22/2012

Why do people pronounce Cheyene as shy-ann? It's chee-i-nee.

by Anonymousreply 8501/22/2012

Why do they call it State of the Union? What about Confederate States?

by Anonymousreply 8601/25/2012

I'm boring, jobless, and unhappy. Explain why foreign people are so inferior to me! Or tell me a night-night story!

by Anonymousreply 8702/01/2012

Why do farts smell like matches?

by Anonymousreply 8802/01/2012

My cat pooped two quarters! What should I do?

by Anonymousreply 8902/01/2012

(R78 try and keep up. R77 was doing an Umpy.)

I think Tammy's starting to talk. Her meow this morning sounded like she was saying mucous. Maybe she's getting a cold. Should I be worried?

by Anonymousreply 9002/01/2012

The woman at the employment office said I should apply for a job as a greeter at Walmart. Should I be insulted at such a suggestion?

by Anonymousreply 9102/01/2012

If my head were veal, how much would it weigh?

by Anonymousreply 9202/01/2012

I know Tammy's mouth is cleaner than mine, at least that is what I read. Should I be worried that I might make her sick if if I continue to let her lick my tongue every night before bed?

by Anonymousreply 9302/01/2012

My roommate has a yeast infection. Do you think she can bake some bread?

I don't feel she's contributing to the house enough, as she's only cleaning the entire place and washing my clothes. I think she should start baking as well.

by Anonymousreply 9402/02/2012

My cat's breath smells like cat food!

by Anonymousreply 9502/03/2012

My roommate said she'll put my name in her will if I'll do the same for her. She wants me to leave her the house in my will. Should I be concerned?

by Anonymousreply 9602/03/2012

If you were a hotdog and you were starving to death would you eat yourself?

by Anonymousreply 9702/04/2012

I can't stop smelling my own farts and assigning them a rating from 1 to 10 based on intensity of smell and length of odor. Would you like to see a graph of my fart ratings?

by Anonymousreply 9802/04/2012

I wrote to Donald Trump to let him know of my fame at Datalounge. I want him to pick me to be on the next Celebrity Apprentice.

by Anonymousreply 9902/08/2012

LOL at some of these.

by Anonymousreply 10002/08/2012

Tammy bit me pretty hard when I tried to play Pretend Bungee Jump with her. I found some antibiotic ointment from 1993, will it still work halfway? The tube is kind of covered in rusty stuff.

I met a Jewish lady today except, really strange, she had a normal nose. Do you think she tips generous or cheap in restaurants?

by Anonymousreply 10102/08/2012

Why do parents snip the umbilical cords off of their babies' stomachs? It makes me furious. I will tell people exactly what I think of them when I hear they have mutilated the defenseless epidermis of their babies. I've lost many friends over this, but I don't care.

by Anonymousreply 10202/08/2012

I'm thinking of dying Tammy's fur black. Will she still like the Taylor Swift songs I play, or will she immediately prefer hip-hop?

I saw some old pictures of Boy George. Do you think he's bisexual or straight.

by Anonymousreply 10302/09/2012

My colleague insists on wearing a head scarf to work. She's African American, reminds me of a stern looking Maya Angelou. I asked her "Why do you insist on wearing that head scarf? Is it because you've got that 'funny' hair?" Her eyes welled up as she briskly turned and walked away from me. It turns out she's had chemotherapy. I've just been called to the HR department. Do you think my promotion's in jeopardy?

by Anonymousreply 10402/09/2012

How many of you have tried to murder someone ? I secretly put rat poison in my co-worker's coffee mug yesterday because she had her baby circumcised, but she didn't drink it.

by Anonymousreply 10502/09/2012

Clit piercings. Why aren't they called Queen Victorias?

by Anonymousreply 10602/09/2012

Why isn't the Presidnet flying the White House flag at half staff for Whitney Houston?

by Anonymousreply 10702/11/2012

Why are they calling Whitney Houston the Queen of Poop?

by Anonymousreply 10802/12/2012

Judy Garland died at 47.

Whitney Houston died at 48.

There is a city called Garland, Texas.

There is a city called Houston, Texas.

Just coincidences?

by Anonymousreply 10902/12/2012

how long has it been since Umpy has posted?

by Anonymousreply 11002/25/2012

Too long.

by Anonymousreply 11104/22/2012

WEHT Umpy and Tammy?

by Anonymousreply 11205/01/2012

Why do people get tattoos

by Anonymousreply 11305/01/2012

I don't think R59 made that up. That sounds like it was cut and pasted from a real Umpy thread.

by Anonymousreply 11405/03/2012

Doesn't anyone care that Umpy doesn't post anymore? What happened to him and Tammy?

by Anonymousreply 11505/16/2012

I don't care

by Anonymousreply 11605/16/2012

I've wondered where he is, r115. Maybe banned for a period again?

by Anonymousreply 11705/16/2012

This is Umpy. I'm banned from starting threads, but I can respond. I miss you people and being banned has really affected my quality of life. When I could start threads, someone would always talk to me. Margo (busybody) still lives with me and Tammy is fine.

I find myself listening to old Howard Stern clips on YouTube because I'm so lonely. Artie tells the best stories and I have a tremendous crush on him.

by Anonymousreply 11805/16/2012

I miss Umpy too

by Anonymousreply 11905/16/2012

Love you Grumpy. Stay well.

by Anonymousreply 12005/16/2012

These responses are all hysterically funny!

by Anonymousreply 12105/16/2012

Why do people at Facebook keep deleting my picture?

by Anonymousreply 12205/16/2012

Awww Umpy we have missed you. Even if you are banned from starting threads. Still go ahead and post. Someone will talk to you.

Glad Tammy is ok.

by Anonymousreply 12305/16/2012

I'm glad somebody here told me not to let Tammy get fat because she was getting tubby, but I put her on a diet. Just a small reduction in her evening meal. And she has lost weight and is more playful.

by Anonymousreply 12405/16/2012

That's cool. My old dog lost weight and is moving like a limber thing now.

by Anonymousreply 12505/16/2012


by Anonymousreply 12607/13/2012

Tammy keeps following me into the bathroom. Do you think she may be getting kinky in her old age?

by Anonymousreply 12707/13/2012

Do black people go to tanning booths?

by Anonymousreply 12807/13/2012

Where is the real Umpy?

by Anonymousreply 12907/13/2012

Didn't he get sentenced for a few months? Something about a package he left on an elevator in a college.

by Anonymousreply 13007/13/2012

Do people with pet fish ever take them on "walks" like to neighborhood fountains on fish leashes?

by Anonymousreply 13107/13/2012

Can the super morbidly obese wipe or masturbate? Is there anything to masturbate?

by Anonymousreply 13207/13/2012

Why did the woman on the bus get so upset when I wiped my nose on her shoulder? Would she have rathered I just let it run?

by Anonymousreply 13307/18/2012

lots of umpy posts tonight

by Anonymousreply 13409/23/2012

Man, this thread made me laugh until I cried and went into conniptions.

by Anonymousreply 13509/23/2012

I think he's the OP of: Today I said "Jew her (saleslady) down" in front of a Jewish acquaintance

by Anonymousreply 13609/23/2012

Why do I have to diet? I should be able to eat as much high-fat meat as I want and never exercise. So what if I'm in my 60's and over 400 lbs. If Obama gets reelected then I'll get free medical care. They'll help me lose the weight. Oh and I'm a REAL Man. I can drink a whole bottle of vodka a day. Except I had to sell my car to make my trailer payment.

by Anonymousreply 13709/23/2012

Umpy come out.

by Anonymousreply 13809/23/2012

Umpy is performing during half-time of the Super Bowl

by Anonymousreply 13902/02/2013

If there was EVER an old thread that I applaud being bumped up, this is SO it.

by Anonymousreply 14002/02/2013

Is it true that the stadium lights went out when Beyonce plugged in her cellphone to recharge it?

by Anonymousreply 14102/04/2013

Jews don't celebrate Easter, so why would one take today off...

by Anonymousreply 14203/31/2013

Bumped re: recent comparisons to a certain new poster....

by Anonymousreply 14308/03/2013

I don't understand the people here in Texas. I wanted to learn about Texas history so I went to the Alamo. When I told the lady that I want to see the basement of the Alamo, she told me to get out. Maybe I should move back to the house I bought last year instead of staying in Texas.

by Anonymousreply 14408/03/2013

Is Umpy banned or did he just give up his Umpy schtick?

by Anonymousreply 14508/03/2013

There's some funny Umpy in this thread.

by Anonymousreply 14608/04/2013

I dumpted a bottle of Stoli on the patio to be part of the boycott. A few minutes later I looked out and saw that Tammy had lapped it all up. She can't walk straight and she's snarling at me. What should I do?

by Anonymousreply 14708/05/2013

Can a hearse carrying a corpse use the carpool lane?

What is Satan's last name? Is there a Mrs. Satan?

Why are cookies called "cookies"? Shouldn't they be called "bakies"?

by Anonymousreply 14808/05/2013

Why does my mom's basement always smell so musty?

by Anonymousreply 14908/05/2013

Is 2lbs of feathers lighter than 1lb of steel?

by Anonymousreply 15008/05/2013

I want to get a coat made from pelts of cats so that I'll match Tammy when I take her out. I hope there are no PETA people around. They really get pissed about fur coats.

by Anonymousreply 15108/05/2013

Glad you're back posting, Grumpy!

by Anonymousreply 15308/05/2013

Two weeks ago I was stopped for going through an orange light. Since I still have an out of state license, they gave mre 30 days to get a Texas drivers license. To get that, I have to provide my birth certificate. I've asked my mother to send it nearly every day but she always has an excuse for not doing that. I'm wondering if she's hiding something from me. If I don't get it soon, I'll have to leave Texas or go to jail.

by Anonymousreply 15408/06/2013

Is carbonated water less hydrating than regular water? I think it is because some of the space that should be water is taken up by carbon dioxide. Sparkling water stings my tongue. Why do the Jews like it so much?

by Anonymousreply 15508/06/2013

A lot of people have captured Umpy. Some of these sound as if he has returned to DL.

by Anonymousreply 15608/08/2013

Don'tyou all love me, oh I mean Roger Octopus, oh by the way, he's not me.

by Anonymousreply 15708/08/2013

I'm bumping this thread because of the Annoying and Obnoxious thread. Someone there said how much they missed Umpy and I concur. I am posting on this thread in hopes that perhaps he is still alive and he is still stalking DL and will re-join us. Perhaps he is in reduced circumstances. He was unemployed and he took in that Old woman, and there was a cat. I found it all so sinister and Fun. I miss you Umpy. Come back!

by Anonymousreply 15801/25/2014

Now that the new Pope is getting lots of good publicity, what's to stop the old Pope from coming back? He can claim he was made Pope for life and just needed a vacation.

by Anonymousreply 15901/25/2014

That was me who said that,R158.

Like I said in the other thread, he was often an ass and somewhat touched in the head....but never boring!

by Anonymousreply 16001/25/2014

Great, R160. Maybe if we wish real hard, and clap our hands three times, he'll come back. Or maybe we were supposed to click out heels three times. Or was it three shots of tequila?

by Anonymousreply 16101/25/2014

R161 I think that's what we do to summon David Ehrenstein back.

by Anonymousreply 16201/26/2014

Ehrenstein will come back if someone starts a thread about Lena Horne being a lesbian. He'll want to "in" her again.

by Anonymousreply 16301/26/2014

I hope Grumpy is well and returns.

by Anonymousreply 16401/26/2014

I was rubbing my dogs belly and I think he got a boner. Is my dog attracted to me? What if he tries to rape me in my sleep?

by Anonymousreply 16501/26/2014

Why did he take in an old lady?

by Anonymousreply 16601/26/2014

He claimed he bought a house and needed help with the payments so he said he took in a roommate. I think that was in the same time period where he claimed he lost his job at the university.

by Anonymousreply 16701/27/2014
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