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Please Help Me Plan My Beloved Husband's Birthday Party - It Could Be His Last

The love of my young life, Michael, turns 68 on September 25. That's a Tuesday, which is very lucky in my native Wales, so I am planning to throw him the party of his life on the previous Saturday, the 22nd, the Welsh Day of Llywelyn's Tears.

You've heard of the health issues. You don't know the half of it. If his father hadn't demanded a kidney and lung as payment for the CUCKOO property decades ago things might be different now, but I'm making the most of things. I'm planning. And I need this publicity. I made a movie with Bruce Willis. Help me.

So, my fans, PLEASE help me put together the best, biggest surprise party possible for my man's last birthday, haven forbid. Anywhere, anything. Color schemes, entertainment, menus, what I should wear - I need YOUR HELP.

And I would appreciate your assistance on the guest list.

Thank you, my darlings.

by Catherine Zeta Jones Douglas, Academy Award Winning Actressreply 510/06/2012

I got a surprise for you, Cathy. Hold still for a minute.

by Catherine Zeta Jones Douglas, Academy Award Winning Actressreply 101/11/2012

Ctaherine, you should do that comedy act where you sing Send in the Clowns while having a manic episode. It was very funny with the sweating and all.

by Catherine Zeta Jones Douglas, Academy Award Winning Actressreply 201/11/2012

My name is miss rose I am from Mexico, I was I a relationship with john and we loved and cherished ourselves for 3 good years and every thing was going on smoothly but August 12, 2011 a day I can call a lovers day we both had misunderstanding because I answered a call from a guy that is asking me out for a date but I refused, and he told me that the relationship is over and that he is fed up with me and I begged him because I love him so much but he refused me I was so down cast and I felt the world has come to an end for me but my friend told me about a spell caster that helped her sister out in getting her relationship back, a good job and favor in any of her endeavor but at first I was scared but I have to give this man a trial because I love john very much and I am not willing to loose him to any woman, so I ordered returning my love spell from this great spell caster that made me a happy woman again to say it all my ex came back to me with much love and a caring heart...i am testifying to this great spell caster sango spell temple. if you need his help you can contact him on sangospelltemple@gmail.com

by Catherine Zeta Jones Douglas, Academy Award Winning Actressreply 310/06/2012

Madame CZJ,

First off, we need to talk real preparations here. Is the will up-to-date? Have his ex, and his children with her, been stripped of any claims to property or funds? Did you buy several tasteful, black outfits that will show the world "I may be a widow, but look at this 31 year old sexy body"?

As the late Jackie O showed us all, marry the second time for enormous wealth. You can trade up to an even older billionaire next.

Now, for the party. Lots and lots of fried foods, lots of cheese. His favorite cigars. Liquor. Hell, grain alcohol. Whatever it takes to get him set on that final journey. Stat! I mean, you want to remarry before you turn 35, no?

by Catherine Zeta Jones Douglas, Academy Award Winning Actressreply 410/06/2012

What? This man is only 68? I know 80 year olds who look younger.

by Catherine Zeta Jones Douglas, Academy Award Winning Actressreply 510/06/2012
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