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Passive Aggressive Notes

[quote]When I moved in a year ago, my roommate was an ovo-lacto vegetarian, whereas I was (and still am) an omnivore,” explains our submitter in Brooklyn. “She used to not care about my eating habits, but about four months ago she decided to become a full-blown vegan and has been insufferable since then. Yesterday I went food shopping for myself, and when I came back from work today I found this letter on my bedside table.

How would you respond?

by Anonymousreply 7501/05/2012

The vegan can go fuck herself. Using a cruelty-free method, of course.

by Anonymousreply 101/01/2012

I have been around a lot of people who went vegan for health reasons or to lose weight. Not a big deal--great people to be around.

But these loons who feel that there is a moral reason to not eat animal protein...they always seem one step away from being the type who bomb abortion clinics.

by Anonymousreply 301/01/2012

Dear Fawn:

I really wished you had stated your boundaries before I moved in. But you didn't, so fuck off and die.

by Anonymousreply 401/02/2012

She can't stand to see HONEY? Because of the poor, exploited bees, I guess.

It seems to me that the one who has made the major lifestyle change has the obligation to move, over the one who hasn't, but that has never stopped a passhole/aggresshole before.

And yes, that IS why people hate vegans.

by Anonymousreply 501/02/2012

[quote]Would you have gay sex in your bedroom if your roommate were straight? No.

No. Never. I wouldn't want to offend him. Of course, he is free to have as much sex as he wants because he is heterosexual and that's God's way.

Fuck off R2.

by Anonymousreply 601/02/2012

Anyone that takes that much time to write a hate letter need to be locked up.

by Anonymousreply 701/02/2012

[quote]Would you have gay sex in your bedroom if your roommate were straight? No.

Die a hideous, slow, and painful death, closet-case freak at r2.

by Anonymousreply 801/02/2012

Oh lord. I'm a vegan, and I would never write such a note. As a matter of fact I live with an omnivore! Nothing is ever said by either one of us. The vegan roommate is a drama queen. If he/she objects to living with an omnivore he/she should move out.

by Anonymousreply 901/02/2012

"How would you respond?"

I'd put the snippy letter on the internet, and hope it goes viral. Waaay nastier than just telling her to put her head up her vegan ass.

by Anonymousreply 1001/02/2012

I bet she has tangled. mousy brown hair, wears glasses and tries her damnedest to be "deep" and "intellectual" at all costs.

I used to just eat chicken (rarely) for about 20 years. About a year ago there was some bacon put on my cheese fries by mistake but I said fuck it and ate it. That led to eating a burger and then steak and pork chops. I kept thinking this tastes so good why did I deny myself.

by Anonymousreply 1101/02/2012

Okay, I'm a pescetarian/former vegan and even I say Vegan roommate is being a cunt. She's 100% in the wrong...and mentally ill.

by Anonymousreply 1201/02/2012

I'd call up Lady Gaga's people and hire that meat suit and wear it around the house at every opportunity. The letter reads like a parody of every stereotype known of vegans.

by Anonymousreply 1301/02/2012

Every vegan I've met is like this.

by Anonymousreply 1401/02/2012


by Anonymousreply 1501/02/2012

I love the comments on the linked site bashing the bitchy, entitled vegan.

by Anonymousreply 1601/02/2012

Pop a chicken in the oven and fry up some burgers.

by Anonymousreply 1701/02/2012

I gave you a HOOK, didn't I???

by Anonymousreply 1801/02/2012

I'd terminate the lease and get the fuck out. Living in a room with a bar fridge and hot plate would be preferable to living with a nutjob like that.

by Anonymousreply 1901/02/2012

I love this response to a passive agressive note:

by Anonymousreply 2001/02/2012

Shit Vegans Say.

by Anonymousreply 2101/02/2012

I wish she had included how this ended. The note is not enough.

by Anonymousreply 2201/02/2012

My guess is the vegan is the name on the lease. What a psycho.

by Anonymousreply 2301/02/2012

How can Vegans feel superior if there aren't a bunch of fatties munching on balogna around them? They NEED us.

by Anonymousreply 2401/02/2012

Vegans are people with eating disorders. Fact.

by Anonymousreply 2501/02/2012

R25 - correct.

Every vegan I know eats very poorly. They eat tons of dark chocolate and other snacks, and drink wine. Many of them are bulimic and anorexic as well.

by Anonymousreply 2601/02/2012

[quote]Would you have gay sex in your bedroom if your roommate were straight? No.

Are you fucking insane, R2, or are you the homophobic shitheel you sound like?

Of course you still have "gay sex" in your own fucking bedroom (it's a fucking-bedroom for most of us, after all) even if you have a straight roommate. Isn't the straight roommate having straight sex?

Or are you implying that a straight roommate and a gay roommate would both stay celibate for civility's sake?

Nah, you're a fucking shitheel homophobe.

by Anonymousreply 2701/02/2012

This is why the world hates vegans. And Americans. You don't find people in subsaharan Africa worrying about whether someone's eating meat or honey or milk. They just want something to eat, period.

by Anonymousreply 2801/02/2012

My thoughts exactly, R28.

by Anonymousreply 2901/02/2012

I'd apologize and look for another place to live. And as I moved out I'd leave 20 pounds of wet bloody minced veal and pork scattered and pounded into the roommate's bare mattress.

by Anonymousreply 3001/02/2012

Please tell me R2 is joking...

by Anonymousreply 3101/02/2012

Vegan girl needs to move out, seriously. She's in the wrong here.

Not partaking of meat is one thing. Developing completely new boundaries about what roommates can do in the middle of a living arrangement and then expecting everyone else to comply is a CUNT MOVE.

by Anonymousreply 3201/02/2012

I love it R20! Perfect response.

by Anonymousreply 3301/02/2012

If people didn't eat meat, dairy or eggs, the world would become overrun with animals. Do we really need stupid chickens just freely clucking around our neighborhoods, or have cows clogging up our freeways? And the average taxpayer can support only so many cow & chicken zoos. Non-vegans are doing the world a favor by making sure animals take their rightful place in the food chain. In fact, I think vegans should be taxed more for even thinking this is all a good idea.

by Anonymousreply 3401/02/2012

Whatever; the bitch cares about this.

Your choices are:

1) Kill her, and go to jail.

2) Comply

3) Confront her and try to reach an agreement/compromise.

4) Move out.

Now STFU. There are more important things in the world to worry about.

by Anonymousreply 3501/02/2012

R34? Holiday's over. Put down the pipe.

by Anonymousreply 3601/02/2012

How is this note passive aggressive? There is nothing passive in it.

by Anonymousreply 3701/02/2012

I'd shred the damn thing into her homemade granola made with flax and cardboard.

by Anonymousreply 3801/02/2012

[quote]Do we really need stupid chickens just freely clucking around our neighborhoods

I wouldn't mind this, they make me laugh.

by Anonymousreply 3901/02/2012

larf r39, larf.

They make you larf.

by Anonymousreply 4001/02/2012

I have a shitty roommate who drives me nuts, I am planning on kicking him out but I need his rent money for right now so I am waiting. Anyway, I can't tell you how many people have encouraged me to confront him via note and I am just not doing it. If I can't tell him to his face, then I deserve his behavior.

by Anonymousreply 4101/02/2012

What does he do, R41? Sweaty tea-bag you? Leave his jizz on your keyboard? Surprise anal?

by Anonymousreply 4201/02/2012

I'd say nothing about the letter, and then fry bacon at least twice a day for a week.

by Anonymousreply 4301/02/2012

It comes down to whose name is on the lease. If it's just her's and it must be because of the way she is throwing around demands, then the roommate needs to give notice and look for somewhere else to live. It doesn't matter if they can claim the legally have residency it's not worth it.

If both names are on the lease and then roommate will need to tell vegan that she knew that he/she ate meat before moving in and roommate will continue to eat meat. Although the carnivore should be sure to clean up every dish they cook with and not leave shit lying around the common area. And inform the vegan if she has a problem with it she can sublet her room to someone that carnivore agrees to for the remainder of the lease. That's the end of story.

by Anonymousreply 4401/02/2012

Actually, R20, that response probably rolled right off her. People like her do not care about what is going on around her if it does not affect her. Do use DL speak, she has stated her boundaries. That other people may have boundaries is not on her radar.

by Anonymousreply 4501/02/2012

Saying this is why people hate vegans is idiotic. People hate extremists and the person who wrote the note is an extremist. If she had chosen religion over veganism, she'd be blowing up government buildings, making dozens of babies for Jesus or screaming at people going into a health clinic. Everyone must live according to how an extremist decides life should be.

Veganism is her cover. Extremism is the core problem.

Having said that, I'm a vegetarian with plenty of meat-eating friends and everyone respects others' choices. It's called being a grown up.

by Anonymousreply 4601/02/2012

Your flatmate is a psycho.

You are entitled to eat what you like.

If you lived in the flat first tell her to go fuck herself. If you moved in afterward and she was not explicit about wanting vegan products only then tell her to go fuck herself.

And make sure you leave a nice 12 inch salami alongside the note which tells her yo fuck herself. You want to drive home the message as she did..

by Anonymousreply 4701/02/2012

I want to sink a cat turd to the bottom of R35's can of beer and let her STFU when she sucks the tapered end into her snout.

by Anonymousreply 4801/02/2012

My concern is that this sick bitch vegan might "taint" the meat-eater's food in her absence. I'd move out or demand she vacate, depending upon who is the lease holder.

by Anonymousreply 4901/02/2012

[quote]How is this note passive aggressive? There is nothing passive in it.

The 'note' part is passive-aggressive, dear. Assertiveness would be verbally confronting the carnivore.

by Anonymousreply 5001/03/2012

I would have slaughtered a fatted calf in the living room or sent the roommate a box of meat from Omaha Steaks.

by Anonymousreply 5101/03/2012

I am a vegan, and that note is nuts. You can't and should not try to control what other people do. I date omni's and most of my vegan friends d- as well. This chick brings the cra-cra.

by Anonymousreply 5201/03/2012

R52, you're my kind of vegan. We are not like the nutters that give us a bad name. I'm live and let live and would never write a note like that.

by Anonymousreply 5301/03/2012

R2 seek help. The vegan cunt is way in the wrong. The woman who wrote the note reminds me of the character in Year of the Dog who slowly loses her grasp on reality in her new vegan/PETA zeal and drives off everyone one in her life and become a dog hoarder living in filth.

PS--If I were the roommate I would spike everything with animal blood before I left.

by Anonymousreply 5401/03/2012

vegans are about self-righteousness, food is lower down on their priorities

by Anonymousreply 5501/03/2012

r26- They aren't vegan if they're eating chocolate (dairy) and drinking wine (winemakers use egg whites and fish bladders to remove sediment from wine). Maybe you should point that out to them.

That said, I have a new word to call people, thanks to the lovely comments on that site: TWUNT.

by Anonymousreply 5601/03/2012

r46 is right on target. Extremism and the attendant psychological payoffs of a feeling of superiority, long suffering martyrdom etc., are the issue here, not the beliefs themselves.

Although, certain beliefs and collections of beliefs trend more toward the absolute and thus provide better cover for extremists looking to hide their true pychological motivations in a religion or philosophy of whatever kind.

by Anonymousreply 5701/03/2012

[quote]How is this note passive aggressive? There is nothing passive in it.

True, but it describes some p-a behavior. See first paragraph ("I have insinuated several times . . ")

by Anonymousreply 5801/03/2012

What do you expect? She's developing brain damage from malnutrition.

by Anonymousreply 5901/03/2012

i don't think this is passive aggressive. it's just aggressive and assertive. she's telling the omnivore what she thinks, and says she hopes he changes his ways. now, i think she's overly sensitive, i think she should mind her own business, and i think she needs to pick her battles more carefully. but, she's not passive at all.

by Anonymousreply 6001/03/2012

R56, dark chocolate doesn't contain milk. I buy brands that are certified vegan because sugar is often not vegan. And there are some vegan wines. Again, you must do your research. The vegans mentioned may consume vegan chocolates and wines.

by Anonymousreply 6101/03/2012

[quote]The 'note' part is passive-aggressive, dear. Assertiveness would be verbally confronting the carnivore.

Passive-aggressive has nothing to do with how assertive the form of communication is. It's about indirect opposition--expressing resistance while superficially complying. The note is not passive-aggressive behavior. It is direct. It reflects the writer's desire to avoid a face-to-face confrontation which is the motivation for passive-aggressive behavior

In this case, before the note, the roommate obviously felt very strongly about having meat in the house but instead of stating her boundaries she "insinuated several times" that she was "uncomfortable." She says she did so thinking this would avoid a confrontation. Classic passive-aggressive thought pattern--I want you do to what I want but I want to avoid "confrontation"so I will send you clues about how unhappy I am with what you are doing.

The meat-eater probably didn't realize the "insinuations" were all that important and assumed the roommate had agreed to tolerate the animal products. When the passive-aggressive resistance didn't work, the roommate escalated to a direct, albeit written, confrontation.

by Anonymousreply 6201/03/2012

R60, of course this is passive aggressive. It's in note form rather than direct face to face communication.

by Anonymousreply 6301/03/2012

Find somewhere else to live.

by Anonymousreply 6401/03/2012

[quote][R60], of course this is passive aggressive. It's in note form rather than direct face to face communication.

That's not what passive aggressive means.

by Anonymousreply 6501/04/2012

R65, writing a note instead of TALKING is indeed passive aggressive.

by Anonymousreply 6601/04/2012

Could you perhaps find hidden places in her room to place little bits of raw meat or raw shellfish in her room? Places she couldn't detect?

I read about this once. This woman's husband, who was cheating on her filed for divorce. She moved out, but before she left, she carefully sewed raw seafood in the bottom seams of the drapes.

Oh, the hilarity that ensued.

by Anonymousreply 6701/04/2012

so, what happened???

by Anonymousreply 6801/04/2012

[quote][R65], writing a note instead of TALKING is indeed passive aggressive.

No, it isn't.

Wikipedia: Passive–aggressive behavior, a personality trait, is passive, sometimes obstructionist resistance to following through with expectations in interpersonal or occupational situations. It is a personality trait marked by a pervasive pattern of negative attitudes and passive, usually disavowed, resistance in interpersonal or occupational situations.

The DSM-IV Appendix B definition is as follows:

A) A pervasive pattern of negativistic attitudes and passive resistance to demands for adequate performance, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by four (or more) of the following:

passively resists fulfilling routine social and occupational tasks

complains of being misunderstood and unappreciated by others

is sullen and argumentative

unreasonably criticizes and scorns authority

expresses envy and resentment toward those apparently more fortunate

voices exaggerated and persistent complaints of personal misfortune

alternates between hostile defiance and contrition

B)Does not occur exclusively during major depressive episodes and is not better accounted for by dysthymic disorder.

by Anonymousreply 6901/04/2012

I love how she underlined "can no longer tolerate".

Intolerant, whiney little bitch. She speaks of respecting her feelings but she doesn't share the same respect for her roommate's feelings. I'd love to see a picture of the vegan.

by Anonymousreply 7001/05/2012

OMG.. What is wrong with this psycho? She's actually comparing abusing a child to having meat in the house.. WTF?!?!

She's using her passive aggressiveness to "change" the roommate into something she wants the roommate to be. She will not allow meat in the house, which means the roommate must either obey or move out.

Yes. This is why people hate vegans.

by Anonymousreply 7101/05/2012

It doesn't matter whose name is on the lease. If omnivore has been there for 30 days or more, omnivore cannot be forced to move anywhere. Vegan is gonna have to suck it up and deal. Me personally, I'd cook the bloodiest, rarest steak I could find eat that shit with my lips smacking and sop up the blood juice with fries and bread. And then fart loudly in the apartment all night long.

by Anonymousreply 7201/05/2012

i HATE the way the phrase "passive aggressive" is so casually thrown around, when so few people know what it means.

standard modern usage seems to have evolved (devolved?) to mean: any non-violent behavior by one person which is viewed disapprovingly by another. that is, of course, not what passive-aggressive means.

as a few others have (thankfully) pointed out, there is nothing 'passive' about the note.

nor this one.

by Anonymousreply 7301/05/2012

OK R73, not everybody's Freud.

by Anonymousreply 7401/05/2012

I am a vegetarian and don't even wear leather shoes, but if I got a note like this, I'd write 'fuck off' on her bedroom door in bacon. I reckon the grease would hold it on fairly well.

by Anonymousreply 7501/05/2012
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