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Has a Waiter Ever Come Back To Say You Didn't Tip Enough?

Like if you leave 10% tip instead of 18%. Has a waiter ever returned to the table and said you didn't leave enough of a tip?

How did you handle it?

by Anonymousreply 15203/19/2013

Any waiter who did that would get told that apparently I left to much.

by Anonymousreply 112/11/2011

Maybe if I was lesbian.

by Anonymousreply 212/11/2011

[quote]Any waiter who did that would get told that apparently I left to much.

Oh, honey, he'd probably come running after you to hand you that "o" you left behind.

by Anonymousreply 312/11/2011


by Anonymousreply 412/11/2011

r1 is the correct answer

by Anonymousreply 512/11/2011

No, because I've never left a tip that wasn't off the appropriate amount. I have left no tip at all a couple of times, but both times the waiter/waitress knew full well there would be no tip and certainly didn't want to chance forcing me to complain to the management.

by Anonymousreply 612/11/2011

Ditti r1.

by Anonymousreply 812/11/2011

Don't understand your post, R2.

by Anonymousreply 912/11/2011

The reason I ask is because as being from Toronto, we tip 10%.

I went to San Francisco and left 10% tip. They waiter came back saying the tips are 18%, and I didn't leave enough.

by Anonymousreply 1012/11/2011

I was on a first date with a guy and he paid. Everything had gone well and I was excited. As we headed to the car, our waiter came running out into the parking lot, handed some cash to my guy and said "Here. You obviously need this more than I do."

My guy said nothing, turned a bright shade of red, and acted as though the whole incident hadn't happened.

Waiter may have been overly dramatic and rude, but there was no second date.

by Anonymousreply 1112/11/2011

I once left less a tip of less than 5% at the Tupelo Grill (now deservedly defunct in NYC). The waiter came out to the front of the restaurant, as we were getting our coats, and berated me, asking if what I had done made me feel better about myself. It gave me the occasion to explain that yes, I did feel better about that than I would have felt leaving my customary minimum of 20%, and I reminded him of why. The discussion took place in front of the maitre d' (if the place can be said to have had a maitre d' -- he was also the manager), and the waiter's employment there evidently ended shortly after we left.

by Anonymousreply 1212/11/2011

I think it's perfectly fair for a waiter to ask why someone tipped so little. Especially if service was good. If you did your job as competently as you always do and only received half pay wouldn't you ask why?

by Anonymousreply 1312/11/2011

OP, how did YOU handle it.

And 10% is considered LOW, yes. 15% is average.

by Anonymousreply 1412/11/2011

If it was a restaurant where a large party where the tip is required, then that would be OK, OP. But if the tip is optional he was out of line.

by Anonymousreply 1512/11/2011

Tips are 18% ??? NO where. 15%, 20%, but who would want to calculate 18%?

by Anonymousreply 1612/11/2011

I have tipped over 20% and the waiter made a snide comment about not being tipped enough. Hair dressers are the worst.

by Anonymousreply 1712/11/2011

You wouldn't have a second because the help was mad at your date? Wow. I think you did him a huge favor.

by Anonymousreply 1812/11/2011

[quote]I went to San Francisco and left 10% tip. They waiter came back saying the tips are 18%, and I didn't leave enough.

Even if it's standard practice, tipping is ultimately and by its very nature discretionary. It's not a mandatory 18% or 10% or 20%; if it were mandatory, it would be included in the bill.

by Anonymousreply 1912/11/2011

[quote] OP, how did YOU handle it.

I explained I was from Canada, and was used to leaving 10%. I gave 18% tip and then left.

by Anonymousreply 2012/11/2011

"The reason I ask is because as being from Toronto, we tip 10%."

Well you certainly must be new to the city because 18-20% is considered standard.

by Anonymousreply 2112/11/2011

r17, I trust you called his superior immediately and demanded his firing.

by Anonymousreply 2212/11/2011

r19 is an asshole playing devil's advocate.Fuck off, troll.

by Anonymousreply 2312/11/2011

R-13 A tip and the size of it, is at the discretion of the person, there is no obligation on the amount. When you are hired at a job you are hired at a definite salary. There is no similarity in the two situations at all. You can curse the person out behind their back if you wish, but no waitperson has any right to confront a customer about the amount of a tip.

by Anonymousreply 2412/11/2011

R21 I don't go out to each that much, so forgive me for not knowing

by Anonymousreply 2512/11/2011

I left a 20% tip on a steak dinner at the steak restaurant at the Tropicana in AC, and the waiter made an embarrassing display as if he should have received more.

Food was adequate, he provided Applebee level service, but he expected an over the top tip based on location? I wish I had yanked it back.

by Anonymousreply 2612/11/2011

Tipping is an evil and arbitrary custom.

by Anonymousreply 2712/11/2011

r23, you're the one who needs to fuck off. r19 is correct.

by Anonymousreply 2812/11/2011

Anybody who eats out regularly in the U.S. knows that tipping 15-20% is standard for decent service. Just because a lot of you queens are so insecure that you think anyone in a service job needs to kiss your bleached anus every time you leave the house does not excuse not tipping appropriately.

by Anonymousreply 2912/11/2011

You miss the point, R18. No second date because the guy I was with was cheap and didn't tip well.

Don't know if it's the same in the male gay world, but in the straight world this is a sign the guy is a tightwad.

by Anonymousreply 3012/11/2011

This happened to me but I was with my parents and they were tipping. He told us we didn't leave enough tip, and we told him he was a lousy waiter and that we wanted him to get the point. Of course, the only reason my parents did this was because they knew we would never eat there again. (You don't want to be served food by a pissed of waiter/waitress).

by Anonymousreply 3112/11/2011

When I was like 13 my 11 year old cousin and I ate lunch at some shitty diner while killing an afternoon and we left a waitress who was a real cunt to us a penny. She chased us down the street screaming and threw the penny and hit my cousin in the face. Looking back on it now, we were probably terrible little pricks to her the whole time. Ah, youth.

by Anonymousreply 3212/11/2011

r30 ...and most likely a republican.

by Anonymousreply 3312/11/2011

I would be appalled if someone came after me like that. For me on a very tight budget, a trip out to a restaurant is a rare treat- with coupon in hand. Giving 20% seems more than enough.

Sorry, we're not all high-rollers.

by Anonymousreply 3412/11/2011

A colleague claims to tip well and considers it a tax to help care for those who can't get a real job that pays the bills.


by Anonymousreply 3512/11/2011

"Well you certainly must be new to the city because 18-20% is considered standard"

resident of Toronto for here--I've been tipping 15% for years and many people here don't do that.

by Anonymousreply 3612/11/2011

I once had a great meal at a mid-high end resto and left a twenty dollar bill as a tip ( a bit over 20% ) and on the way out of the restaurant the waitress came running out and said that the $20 was counterfeit and she handed it back to me after showing me with the ultra light scanner that is was indeed fake. I was totally embarrassed apologized and put a $25 tip on my Visa.

A few months later I was telling a group of friends this story, and one asked was it at "restaurant". I said yes, then he said was it a waitress named "so & so" and described the exact same waitress.... turns out she had pulled the same scam on him a few months previously.... the bitch was passing off counterfeit $20, and getting customers to give her real ones for her fakes!

We called the police and the restaurant but never heard any results. I hope the cunt was fired or arrested or both.

by Anonymousreply 3712/11/2011

OP, you must have eaten at some slop house on Castro then. I could believe your story then.

by Anonymousreply 3812/11/2011

[quote]The reason I ask is because as being from Toronto, we tip 10%.

This is fucking bullshit.

I am a born and bred Torontonian. I do not know one single cheap ass who tips less than 20%. OP is full of shit and is not Canadian.

The only time I've ever seen anyone tip less than 20%, was when a friend got pissed at the shitty waiter and left a couple of pennies.The rest of us were embarrassed by her and left a real tip.

by Anonymousreply 3912/11/2011

[quote]resident of Toronto for here--I've been tipping 15% for years and many people here don't do that.

Who and where are you cheap people? Are you OW recipients living in Regent Park?! None of my family, friends or coworkers would even think to tip less than 20%.

by Anonymousreply 4012/11/2011

Well I have tipped 10% for years, didn't realize that it was 20%. After googling the standard seems to be 15%.

Again, I don't eat out that much, and when I do I've left 10%.

That is just me

by Anonymousreply 4112/11/2011

Fuck off, R11.

by Anonymousreply 4212/11/2011

I once worked as a cater-waiter and bartender for a lesbian caterer in Wellesley Massachusetts. She billed her clients a 20% tip for each waiter or bartender she sent to a job. She pocketed the entire amount herself.

The bitch is no longer in business.

by Anonymousreply 4312/11/2011

OP, you've been insulting waiters for years.

If you've eaten at the same place and gotten the same waiter more than once, you've probably consumed a lot of spit, and shit dropped on the floor.

You're an idiot.

by Anonymousreply 4412/11/2011

I love how the Canadians here are rushing to proclaim 20 percent is the norm for tips in their country.

In college, I waited tables and bartended in a town frequented by Canadians (i.e., near the border) and those fuckers were almost worse than lesbians when it came time to leave a tip.

by Anonymousreply 4512/11/2011

R44 as I said before, I don't eat out that much. I can count on one hand the number of times I've eaten out in the past ten years.

Now I know, OK?

by Anonymousreply 4612/11/2011

When Martha Stewart had her catering business, she pocketed the tip left for the waiters. She instead gave them leftover food.

by Anonymousreply 4712/11/2011

[quote]You wouldn't have a second because the help was mad at your date? Wow. I think you did him a huge favor.

Life is too short to spend time with cheap, stingy men. Men who are stingy with money are stingy with their emotions. They go through life giving as little as possible to get what they want.

by Anonymousreply 4812/11/2011

I can't believe 46 fags have responded to the OP and NOT ONE has said:

"I took tips and was glad to get them!"

You boys are slipping.

by Anonymousreply 4912/11/2011

Another Toronto tipper here. R45 is correct, Canadians, on average, tip less than Americans. I tip 20%, but it is not standard in Toronto, and certainly not in Canada as whole.

That said, OP, bumping up to 15% will put you in the acceptable range, at least here at home.

by Anonymousreply 5012/11/2011

R42, what's your problem?

I'd say the same to you but I was raised properly.

by Anonymousreply 5112/11/2011

Only once.

I was having dinner in Mexico City with some friends. We were eating at what was supposed to be the best restaurant in the city.

The food was fine, but we waited almost 2 hours for it after we ordered. We kept asking, but kept sitting there.

So we left no tip.

As we were getting in the cab, the waiter came out and was yelling at us. My friend, who spoke Spanish, told us, "He said we didn't leave enough tip."

So my friend said something to the waiter in Spanish and the guy looked at him oddly.

I asked, "What did you say?"

"We've never had to wait so long for dinner in our lives and you're not getting a tip!"

My other friend, who speaks better Spanish said, "That's not what you said. You told him we've never decided to eat this late in our lives so we're not giving tips."

I laughed. It was like "We've never worn blue blazers to dinner in our lives -- and so you're not getting a tip!"

by Anonymousreply 5212/11/2011

Thank you R50

There is no norm in Toronto.

by Anonymousreply 5312/11/2011

I'm on R11's side. Not sure why R42 lashed out like that.

by Anonymousreply 5412/11/2011

No, I always tip 20% unless service is bad.

by Anonymousreply 5512/11/2011

It was never 10%, ever. I don't care if you haven't set foot in a restaurant in decades, it was always at least 15% for basic service, 20% for good service.

by Anonymousreply 5612/11/2011

The other day, I finished my late lunch/early dinner and sat from 4pm to 4:20pm with an empty plate and watched the other tables' waitress run back and forth, bring their desserts and boxes and bills. I sat there playing with my iPhone and resting my chin in my hand. Took 20 minutes to see my waiter at all. I was sitting next to the register which was on the way to the kitchen. Wonder where he went. I left 15% rather than my usual 20%.

by Anonymousreply 5712/11/2011

I left a penny for a tip in a diner in the Lower East Side when my friend and I could never get a refill on coffee at our breakfast. The place was a madhouse at the time.

The waiter chased me up First Avenue to complain.

I didn't say anything to him because I didn't want a scene, and I thought I was wrong.

He was overworked, I saw him hustling the orders to all the tables, and he was doing what he could do. My proper recourse was to tip him twenty percent and tell the management they needed more staff not take it out on the help.

by Anonymousreply 5812/11/2011

R52, thanks for the laugh!! Hilarious. Too bad the guy didn't get the real message.

I was a server in high school. I know what it's like to bust your ass for customers, only to get stiffed or undertipped. However, good manners and company policy kept me from confronting poor tippers.

The fact that this waiter did that means he's most likely done it before. Did he somehow know that you were not American? I mean before you told him.

I wonder if he would have confronted an American in the same manner. He was out of line, either way.

I have friends who will tip more than 20 percent when we go out and it pisses me off. They don't tip based on actual service and have, in fact, given lousy servers some fabulous tips. This happened just this week. I don't like it because it reinforces shitty service and creates expectations. If a server gives bad service and doesn't get tipped well, they may improve their service. What motivation do they have to get better if they get generous tips, no matter what?

I won't stiff someone but I will leave a tip that reflects their service. Someone who is nice and attentive will get a very generous tip. Average service gets a 15 percent tip. Inadequate gets 10 percent and sometimes a little note on the back of the check, depending on how bitchy I feel.

I don't eat out much anymore. Not since the economy tanked, mainly because service took a nosedive.

by Anonymousreply 5912/11/2011

I tip 15%. The price of meals continues to go up so why should I raise it to 20?

by Anonymousreply 6012/11/2011

I have never put one dime in a 'tip jar'. If people make minimum wage and the owner can't keep staff, he'll raise their salaries.

by Anonymousreply 6112/11/2011

I had a lousy delivery man pull that stunt and it failed. He got his act together though and I now top him generously.

by Anonymousreply 6212/11/2011

R61 also slams doors in little old ladies' faces. They can open it themselves! Fuck politeness and custom!

by Anonymousreply 6312/11/2011

R11, I'm totally with you about cheap tipping being a deal breaker.

It hasn't been an issue for me on dates, because as a gay man, I have generally split the bill with dates.

But I had a friend who was such a cheap fucking tipper I stopped going anywhere with him.

In a NY diner or Chinese restaurant, where our meals would range from $10 to $15 for each of us, he would leave a 15-cent tip!

We always went out in groups and sometimes it would become clear he hadn't left enough, but it wasn't always obvious how much, because there were always people who would leave more than necessary.

But after a meal with him and another friend, it was glaringly obvious, and then when I went to an unplanned meal with him alone, I saw just how cheap he was, and I left a few dollars extra to cover it.

I didn't stop going out with the group if he were along, but I wouldn't go anywhere with him alone or with only a couple of people after that.

Cheap tippers are assholes, and sooner or later, they treat the people in their lives as shabbily as they treat service people.

by Anonymousreply 6412/11/2011

I've always considered the 20% tip to be more of an average than a standard. I don't think twice about leaving 10% for poor service or 30% for someone who did their job well or brightened my day.

by Anonymousreply 6512/11/2011

I once had a waitress who used to ride my school bus and was a mean girl type. When I was 20 years old she was waiting my table and being snotty to me in front of my party. I gave her a nickel tip for a party of seven and used a credit card to do it. I cracked up on the way out. She didn't follow me to the parking lot, but if she did I would have told her to go fuck herself.

by Anonymousreply 6612/11/2011

[quote]He got his act together though and I now [bold]top[/bold] him generously.[/quote]

Oh, my.

by Anonymousreply 6712/11/2011

[quote]I think it's perfectly fair for a waiter to ask why someone tipped so little. Especially if service was good. If you did your job as competently as you always do and only received half pay wouldn't you ask why?

R13 I disagree. The difference is that a diner is not paying the waiter. The diner is not an employer. As a diner I am a guest and expect to be treated as one, and not to be called to account by those who are employed by others to serve me.

In my lifetime, (I am 48), the "acceptable" range of tipping has gone from 10%-15%, then from 15% to 20%, and now 20% is slowly becoming the accepted minimum.

Why is this? I wish I knew. I always tip well, but it seems to me that servers are getting very well-tipped these days and the expectation grates on me, there's no where to go to reward really good service...when 20-25% is considered normal, what am I supposed to do, leave 35% or 50%?

Also, I would like to know from servers how well they are compensated overall in an average restaurant in a big city. Say a place where the typical tab for a four top will be $200. I always hear that servers share tips but then I've heard that accounts for only about 5% of their total.

Also, I hate the new "correctness" of using the term "Server" instead of "Waiter". "Server" sounds really demeaning to me, and usually the "server" doesn't even serve the food.

by Anonymousreply 6812/11/2011

R11, one of my closest friends who used to wait tables did the exact same thing to a shitty tipper.

by Anonymousreply 6912/11/2011

R13, tipping is optional except where the management announces a certain rate for groups or that type of situation.

OP, I think what the waiter did was exceptionally rude and I would have reported him to the manager.

Oh, and to avoid some asshole whining about my post, the standard where I live is 10-15% and I tip 15%. In cases where it is an odd amount I round up. On occasion where I have received really excellent service or my order is very small, I have tipped higher.

by Anonymousreply 7012/11/2011

[quote]and the waiter's employment there evidently ended shortly after we left

No, but the laughter went on for a good 45 minutes.

by Anonymousreply 7112/11/2011

OP, 10% in the US is low but I've always had issues with asshole waiters in SF.

by Anonymousreply 7212/11/2011

I own a service business and I agree with R70. R13 is dead wrong. You can not mention a tip to a customer in ANY way except to say thank you. I've fired "servers" for rude behavior as minor as eye rolling and dirty looks. If someone dared to follow a patron into the parking lot to challenge them about a tip, they'd be fired on the spot.

Tips are discretionary, and it does suck when someone is cheap, but you have to grin and bear it because, overall, many MORE customers over-tip if you do your job well. Funny that you never hear of a waiter chasing a customer to RETURN money when they've gotten too big of a tip for service that was nothing special.

As fairly new business owner, I can tell you that we work very hard and spend a staggering amount of money on advertising to lure customers to our establishment. I'll be damned if I'll allow some entitled server the threaten my business with such jaw dropping rudeness.

by Anonymousreply 7312/11/2011

If you're this fascinated by a waiter's performance or ridiculous enough to deny that, in major U.S. cities, the norm is now 20%, then you're kind of a social 'tard.

People who belittle anyone in the service industry are just insecure bullies. If you need to demonstrate your status by either 1) withholding what is a customary gratuity or 2) berating a server, then you're not terribly confident in your position and you were not terribly bien eleve.

If service is so horrible that you must act (i.e., that it cannot be explained simply by someone having a bad day or your temporary indelicate temperament), quietly speak to the manager when leaving. Starting off with an understanding word or two (he may just be having a bad day) and then describe with as little melodrama as possible why you were so disappointed (the service wasn't what I expected this evening because...).

And do this having left the customary tip on the table.

This shows the server and the manager that:

1) you're not an asshole;

2) you are not petty; and,

3) you realize that it is not your job to manage the server.

The same principle applies to all interactions with people in the service industry: flight attendants, check-in clerks, car rental representatives, telephone customer service reps, etc...

Noblesse oblige, motherfucker, noblesse fucking oblige.

by Anonymousreply 7412/11/2011

And one other thought - if you're eating in a very nice restaurant, your waiter is giving a portion of his tip to other members of staff.

You're fucking them over - totally uncool.

by Anonymousreply 7512/11/2011

r74 none of those positions expect extra money when they do their job.

I've always wondered why food servers aren't just paid a living wage. Why are they one of the few jobs where it's expected you'll pay them more, instead of the business owner paying more? Seems like a way to make prices appear artificially low.

by Anonymousreply 7612/11/2011

I'm a waiter. And no waiter worth his salt would tell someone they didn't leave enough. It just doesn't happen. Everyone leaves different amounts. Some tables leave 10% -- blacks almost always leave about that or less -- and some leave 50%. It all averages out at the end. I work in a high-end, fine dining place, and the average tip is 20%.

(And don't flame me about blacks. There are exceptions, of course, but the majority of them do not tip well. It's true.)

by Anonymousreply 7712/11/2011

[quote][R74] none of those positions expect extra money when they do their job.

Not the point.

The point is not to be an asshole.

Years ago, a friend of my sister went OFF on a counter rep at TWA in Los Angeles. An epic, stupid rant which ended with her thundering "And I have to take this from someone making $9 and hour?"

The counter rep had taken enough at that point, burst into tears and screamed: "I make $10 an hour!"

It was that raw moment of near-hopelessness mixed with pride and hurt that convinced my sister's friend to avoid cunty behavior from that moment onwards. Words have power. And to misquote Plato, be kind because everyone is on a hard journey.

The system is what the system is. You can try to rationalize why you tip the way you do or why the current norms are ridiculous.

But, at the end of the day, it comes down to how you treat people in all aspects of your life.

Bad tippers are almost never good people.

(And if you feel the need to be cunty, come here. It's cheaper than a tip on a $90 meal.)

by Anonymousreply 7812/11/2011

[R77], what kind of tip should I leave for the can of worms you just opened?

by Anonymousreply 7912/11/2011

Gee, R77, any other observations about "the blacks" you'd like to share?

I'm sure your restaurant wouldn't have a problem if you cleared your throat and tapped on the "Whites Only" sign whenever "the blacks" walked through the front door.

by Anonymousreply 8012/11/2011

I agree, waiters and waitresses, you gotta factor in the shitty tippers, it's just part of doing buisness. I personally don't consider the bill in my tipping, why should i tip more if something is expenisive. It's all about service for me. If you want to kiss my ass and make me feel like i've made a good choice in coming to this establishment then you should expect a good tip.

by Anonymousreply 8112/11/2011

I was a server in a high end restaurant in NY and was left like $10 on a $200 bill. Their service was impeccable, so I chased the guy out and caught him getting into a cab. I asked him what was wrong with the service. He said that it was excellent. So I informed him that his tip was unacceptable. He coughed up more money. His date was mortified.

by Anonymousreply 8212/11/2011

If you follow someone out to a parking lot and start a fight because you only got a 10% tip, you could open your restaurant up to a lawsuit.

by Anonymousreply 8312/11/2011

R78 (and your ilk):

A restaurant is a BUSINESS. If a business wants to survive, they need CUSTOMERS. Why? Customers pay MONEY for GOODS and SERVICES. Customers have OPTIONS. Businesses distinguish themselves by showing the customer that there's no point in exhausting all of their options.

In short: The customer should always behave respectably, but the onus is not on them to guide the waiter toward a decent tip. If you're the service industry, you don't get the luxury of arbitrarily establishing tip limits. This thread is fucking proof that the entire practice has gotten out of control when nobody can agree on an established norm (20% used to be for exceptional service, now people are saying it's the least you should tip!).

A tip was never EVER intended to be the entitlement it has become. I'm not saying that waiters should tap dance as customers fire pistols toward their feet, but they're expected to earn their tips. Do a decent job, 18% is acceptable. Do a shitty job, 0% is acceptable. Do a great job, the sky's the limit. Why is that so hard to comprehend.

I love it when people in the service industry throw out that threat, "Well, if it weren't for tips, food would cost more!" I guarantee that if there were a movement to force a fair wage on restaurant workers, they would hem and haw as they saw their tips go bye bye.

by Anonymousreply 8512/11/2011

[quote] I left 15% rather than my usual 20%.

Wow, R57, I'll bet that waiter really got the message loud and clear!

by Anonymousreply 8612/11/2011

[quote]His date was mortified.

No, she was horrified.

There's a difference.

by Anonymousreply 8712/11/2011

r84, MOST Applebee/Red Lobster/Cheesecake Factory patrons routinely leave about 10% in tips. So, you're actually in line with the rest of your low-end dining compatriots. I hightly doubt you're making a racial statment; you're just identifying yourself as a prole.

FYI: Most high end dining establishments rarely hire blacks and few female wait staff; that's what I've noticed in NYC and Greenwich.

by Anonymousreply 8812/11/2011

I'm black and a generous tipper but I will admit that like all stereotypes it has some basis in truth.

However that should never cause you to profile guests and alter service based on your expected tip. Nothing annoys me more when I can tell a server is not expecting me to be a good tipper.

Also to the person who says they stiff black servers FUCK YOU. If you can't understand how unbelievably stupid it is to lump everyone who happens to be of one ethnicity together as one person then you are amazingly ignorant.

You aren't getting back at some black person who didn't tip well, you are giving a shitty tip to this server based solely on racism. Please die.

by Anonymousreply 8912/11/2011

Some of you are really fucking annoying. Sorry but 20 percent is not becoming the norm no matter how much you say it is.

I refuse to leave someone 20 percent on a check unless one of two thing occurs: they give exceptional service or the check is something small, like $10. Then I'm inclined to give 30 percent.

Otherwise, waiters are getting 15 percent, maybe 17.

by Anonymousreply 9012/11/2011

Most guys I know, NYC, just double the tax. Plus a dollar or two if the server is cute and pleasant. Close enough to 20%.

In 2009, a just-before Christmas night of a big snow, I took a girl from school to Manatus in the Village. The place is open 24 hours daily. We arrived the only people there, possibly twelve others came in all evening. It was a big snow storm We talked and talked, they didn't bother us or rush us. We were there over five hours. The bill was $8.95. I left a $20 bill as tip. The waiter never said a word.

by Anonymousreply 9112/11/2011

It's only happened once to me, but a waitress came out of the restaurant and in front of the people eating outside, said we forgot to tip. I explained that the 20% tip, in cash, was in fact on the table. She said oh, I didn't look. We were hugely embarrassed and pissed off.

by Anonymousreply 9212/11/2011

R89, you are the exception to the rule. I worked as a waiter for five years and never once got a tip above 10% from a black person/s. It's common knowledge that racial minorities do not tip. "They're just doing their job" is usual rationale.

I wish this were not the case (and I sure wished it when I was a waiter), but it is reality.

by Anonymousreply 9312/11/2011

FYI -- I'm the waiter who said blacks tend to not tip well. It's not a can of worms: they just don't, on average. Some leave great tips, but the majority leave 10% or less. But PLEASE realize that I would never treat anyone differently because I expect a lower tip. That's just wrong, and I would deserve a lower tip if I gave inferior service. I treat everyone the same. And here's another comment I hope isn't construed as racist: I love waiting on a table of black women. They almost always leave low tips, but they are generally funny and full of joy. So what they leave bad tips? I hope they had a fun night out.

by Anonymousreply 9412/11/2011

[R84], MOST Applebee/Red Lobster/Cheesecake Factory patrons routinely leave about 10% in tips. So, you're actually in line with the rest of your low-end dining compatriots.

I started to compose a reply to demonstrate what an idiot you are, but allow me to save time: you're a fucking idiot.

by Anonymousreply 9512/11/2011

Obama said we are now in a post-racial America, R94, so feel free to pepper spray them.

by Anonymousreply 9612/11/2011

r90, where the fuck do you live?

by Anonymousreply 9712/11/2011

It's rude to ask. And if you depend on tips for a living, then maybe you should have listened to your mother when she begged you to become a doctor.

by Anonymousreply 9812/11/2011

I always leave $1 per plate. It doesn't take anymore to carry a plate of pancakes than it does a plate of lobster, yet the bills are enormously different. Equal pay for equal work, I say.

Tipping is ridiculous anyway; it's leftover from a patriarchal society where waitresses only got paid for adequately pleasing piggish and arrogant men. Totally shitty.

I make exceptions for waitresses sometimes and tip 15 percent.

by Anonymousreply 9912/11/2011

What is the standard "tiop" for take out?

by Anonymousreply 10012/11/2011

I once had a waitress accuse me of stealing the tip left by her prior customers.

This was at L.A.'s famous campy El Coyote.

The tip was still on the table when we sat down, and when the busboy came over with our water, he took the tip.

When the big old waitress came over to take our order, she demanded to know where her tip was. We didn't know what she was talking about at first, why would she even mention tipping before we had even ordered? Then we realized she was asking about the tip left by the previous customers, and said that the bussboy took it.

Without taking our order, she swept off to the kitchen. A moment later she was back, declaring us to be liars, and said that the busboy told her that he saw us take the tip. For a moment we thought she was just having some fun, as these waitresses are known for being sassy as part of the "charm". But she started screeching, in the midst of a packed dining room. We told her to go get the manager, but she refused, saying "It doesn't matter, you clearly need the money more than I do." I went up front, found the manager and told him that one of his waitresses was causing a scene. I told him what was going on, and he came to the table and proceeded to yell at her. The whole thing was surreal in this packed camp restaurant... the waitress screaming at us, the manager screaming at the waitress... The manager then said that we should sit down and order and he'd have some drinks sent over to us on the house. I said that a couple of free drinks won't cut it, and besides, why would I want to eat food served to me by this clearly unhinged waitress and a thieving busboy? The whole dining room was otherwise still, everyone had stopped eating to watch the floor show.

by Anonymousreply 10112/11/2011

NONE, R100.

by Anonymousreply 10212/11/2011

[quote]you're just identifying yourself as a prole.

I propose that all fucking assholes that use the word "prole" be executed, and their heads stuck on pikes as a lesson to others.

Fuck you.

by Anonymousreply 10312/11/2011

[quote]It was never 10%, ever.

Speaking as an elder-gay who grew up in the Midwest, I have to dispute this. It definitely was 10% a few decades ago, at least in my area. Today, I agree that it's 15-20 and I almost always tip the latter, but back then, it was 10.

The only time a server should be explicitly talking about an 18% tip is for those occasions where the restaurant has a policy of setting an expected tip for a large party (usually 8 guests or more). In those cases, though, that tip is almost always added directly to the bill.

by Anonymousreply 10412/11/2011

[quote]I always leave $1 per plate.

So people think you're wonderful at a tapas bar but everywhere else you're viewed as a total cunt.

by Anonymousreply 10512/11/2011

It was because you are gay, R101

by Anonymousreply 10612/11/2011

Then get fucking take out R99.

[quote] I worked as a waiter for five years and never once got a tip above 10% from a black person/s.

I acknowledged in my post that I admit in general there is truth to black people not tipping as well but I don't believe this for a second.

by Anonymousreply 10712/11/2011

One asked if there was anything wrong with the service.

by Anonymousreply 10812/11/2011

possibly, R106

El Coyote is practically as gay as The Abbey, and the closest most gays get to a taco.

by Anonymousreply 10912/11/2011

r95, and r103 you're both sad, insignificant pieces of lint. Trust me, this is not a good look. Truly secure individuals don't feel it necessary to get back at black waitstaff to feel in control and powerful. At the end of the day, a server is a server, is a server... That you actually get satisfaction from stiffing a server is quite telling.

by Anonymousreply 11012/11/2011

I went to Lucky Seven bar in the CASTRO, which is actually a straight bar.

I went to the bar and waited for the bartender to give me attention. He waited on a girl who came up AFTER I did, to get her drink. Then, another girl came up at the other side of the bar, and he served her. I was standing there for a while, because these girls ordered multiple drinks.

He finally comes over to me, his eyes rolling, and he takes my drink order. I got three beer pints (two for my friends who were now staring at the scene, wondering why it would take so long to get three beers).

He takes his sweet ass time pouring the pints, I pay him, and he gives me my change. I put the change in my pocket and take the beers. No way in hell was I gonna tip that bastard. He was deliberately avoiding the queen with a drink order, in favor of waiting on chicks.

He yells at me "HEY! WHERE'S MY TIP FAGGOT??"


He amazingly reached over the bar, and without spilling a drop, grabbed all three beers out of my hands.

At this point, my two friends approached the bar. One was a really loud girl, and her husband, a brawny guy, and they started yelling at him. My guy friend ended up kicking his ass, and told him "That's what you get for calling people 'faggot' in San Francisco asshole".

The very meek looking bar manager FINALLY made it over to the fight scene (he looked like Edgar Winter), and was all like "Hey man...hey, this isn't cool should take your fighting outside the bar man..." My girlfriend started yelling at him about how he hires douchebags and that the guy should be fired and that he should've shown up a long time ago, this shit started going down 10 minutes ago.

Anyhow, I never went in that bar again...but I wonder if he ever did get fired.

I had JUST moved to San Francisco too, the supposed 'gay mecca', and this shit happened in the fucking Castro!

by Anonymousreply 11112/11/2011

I used to go to a coffee shop where you could pour your own drip brew and that's what I usually drink, they had baristas for everything else. I never tipped because the only thing the barista did for me was take my money and give me change. The tip jar was this metal charger plate.

I did tip once and the coins rattled in the plate and the barista says "you tip? you NEVER TIP!!!!"

That was the last time I ever went there.

by Anonymousreply 11212/11/2011

I never saw the point in paying some bartender to remove a bottle cap. I'll tip generously for a cocktail, that takes some time & effort.

by Anonymousreply 11312/11/2011

Believe it, R107. Trust me, I wish it weren't true.

by Anonymousreply 11412/11/2011

I will tip a bartender after every round because I don't want to have to wait for anything such as a drink, matches, water, change, etc.

by Anonymousreply 11512/11/2011

God, R99, please don't tell me you're a woman. We are known as bad tippers, I always leave a very nice tip.

I have a sinking feeling your tipping "rationale" is your justification for being cheap.

by Anonymousreply 11612/11/2011

OP: You are a loser! When you travel in another country, you need to respect the customs of that country, and in the US, we tip a minimum of 15% for good service.

However, the waiter was also wrong for confronting you about tip and should have been fired for doing so.

by Anonymousreply 11712/11/2011

R93 pick a gender and an orientation and stick with it.

In R30 you're a "straight lady" and in R93 you're a waiter and in R116 you're a lesbian.

Trolldar is NOT your friend.

by Anonymousreply 11812/11/2011

I'd like to know people's opinion about tip jars too. I might tip a quarter every once and a while for coffee. If I order take-out and wait for it to go, I'll tip 10-15%.

by Anonymousreply 11912/11/2011

r83, RE: If you follow someone out to a parking lot and start a fight because you only got a 10% tip, you could open your restaurant up to a lawsuit.

It was a 5% tip on a $200.00 meal for two.

Good for the Waiter.

by Anonymousreply 12012/11/2011

I was in Orlando recently and had dinner at a chain steakhouse in the middle of tourist central. The bills for each party member had a "Suggested Tip" amount of 18% included in the total. I usually tip 20% but I thought it was interesting that they put that on the bill. I don't think it's a bad idea, especially in an area with heavy foreign tourism. My old roommate from several years ago worked at Hard Rock Orlando and always talked about being stiffed by foreign tourists.

by Anonymousreply 12112/11/2011

Heh, great catch R118

by Anonymousreply 12212/11/2011

[quote]you were not terribly bien eleve

gave me the giggles.

[quote]Noblesse oblige, motherfucker, noblesse fucking oblige

resulted in my drink being sprayed onto my keyboard through my nostrils.

The rest of your posts make me want to marry you -- and you're old enough for the job if you know what a TWA Counter is.

Sigh... guess I'll just have to stalk you here.

by Anonymousreply 12312/11/2011

Heh, I also noticed the crazy basement dweller started the thread "I need your advice" in which the straight girl/lesbian/waiter is a guy again.

by Anonymousreply 12412/11/2011

R74 is idiotic. If you leave a good tip for poor service, then complain to the manager, the waiter will point out that you tipped well. This will undermine the point of speaking to the manager.

I think it's interesting that we now completely accept that restaurants will not pay a living wage, and that we customers must pay for the food and the service. I want waiters to be paid a good wage, and to have tipping be a reward for a job well done.

Having said that, I always tip exceptionally well for good service. I usually leave 25 percent. If I leave 20 percent, it's for good service but not exceptional service. If I get terrible service (and I mean service, not things that the kitchen caused) I will gladly leave less. I once had a waiter who was so bad, and so rude, that I left nothing and I complained to the manager. But that's happened once in my life. Most poor service gets 15 percent.

Finally, I also make it a point to get the manager to praise exceptional service. No one ever does this, apparently, because every time the manager comes over, s/he seems braced for the worse. I hate that people complain to the manager, but never praise. I've also gone online to praise exceptional service.

by Anonymousreply 12512/11/2011

True Story:

Last year my partner and I arrived in Kyoto disoriented, jet-lagged, starving, and ignorant of Japanese tipping customs (it isn't done). We had an extravagant feast with impeccable service. The waiter RAN a long distance after us with cash in hand and said "No do in Japan". Fortunately, I learned how to apologize profusely, bow, and say thank you.

by Anonymousreply 12612/11/2011 waiters get paid well in Japan? Wouldn't it be nice if they weren't reliant on the customers' generosity, but actually got paid?

by Anonymousreply 12712/11/2011

Yes, in Niagara Falls, ON. We went to an Italian restaurant late in the evening and ordered 2 dishes of spaghetti to take-out.

We paid by credit card and when we took our receipt we placed a 10% tip on the tray even though it was a take out order.

The server looked at the tip as though it was contagious or something and said "I don't know where you're from but here 15% is expected. With that we took back the tip, said "good to know" and left.

by Anonymousreply 12812/11/2011

R118, like other posters on this board I do use different personas.

Sorry to disappoint you, but no cats.

by Anonymousreply 12912/11/2011

[quote]R118 like other posters on this board I do use different personas.

You go far beyond using "different personas" r129. Is that the excuse you use for being a serial liar?

by Anonymousreply 13012/11/2011

[quote][R74] is idiotic. If you leave a good tip for poor service, then complain to the manager, the waiter will point out that you tipped well. This will undermine the point of speaking to the manager.

I will not punish the rest of the staff who rely on the waiter's tips if the waiter was simply having a bad night or if I was feeling particularly surly or demanding.

In fact, the manager is more likely to take the comments as constructive criticism (complaining is for toddlers) if they are stated calmly and think more of the critic is they didn't behave like an asshole to his employee.

You never know the full story with people. You can never assume to know their minds. That waiter's boyfriend might have walked out that morning. His sister might have died a few weeks before.

A little compassion, generosity and common sense never hurts.

And as for the waiter pointing out to the manager that a customer left a tip despite complaining, so what? That doesn't help the waiter's case. Just shows him that the customer wasn't an asshole.

This is an hour or two of your life. Your happiness and well-being do not hinge on the service you receive.

And if it makes that much difference in your life, you should probably take that dining-out cash and devote it to some therapy.

by Anonymousreply 13112/11/2011

[quote]The rest of your posts make me want to marry you -- and you're old enough for the job if you know what a TWA Counter is.


I miss those days sometimes. Arriving at the counter (back when F meant F) with those paper tickets with the red and white logo and the carbon copy paper. When you'd get cute handwritten endorsements to travel on another carrier or flight. The lovely women in the lounges who knew people by name (I did the JFK-CDG run for work once a month for years).

I used to have the phone numbers for the lounges in New York and Los Angeles.

And Special Services were Special Services. Pre-freguent flyer days, you were recognized because you just flew so much.

I miss those times.

And I am all of 47. I just started young and with my own Auntie Mame.

And of the many things she taught me, not being a cunt was the most helpful.

by Anonymousreply 13212/11/2011

I think it's too late to get back to tipping according to the level of service. I get crap service quite often and I just tip 15% when I don't like the service, 20% when it was standard, and 25-30% when the server went above my expectations.

In two cases when the server was excessively rude I tipped 15% and then informed the manager that the server was not doing their job well and might want to consider non service industry employment.

Before I get bashed, in the two cases where I did that, the server was going out of their way to be rude to me and my guests. Including one occasion when the server introduced himself by saying "I'm in a hurry so I hope you know what you want. I've been here all day and you're my last table."

by Anonymousreply 13312/12/2011

I think 20% is becoming the norm because it's easiest to take 10% and double that versus taking 10% and adding half of that so that you get to 15%.

I've observed that doing the math weirds a lot of people out. There's a reason why tip calculators started being put on phones in the last decade (or why people started carrying those tip calculation cards with them).

by Anonymousreply 13412/12/2011


by Anonymousreply 13612/12/2011

In Florida, the wait staff earns like $2.00 an hour. Not tipping is horrible--it's like getting shitty service at a 7-11 and demanding the clerk's pay get docked. Complain to management, certainly, but don't stiff them in those states with below minimum wage for waiters laws.

by Anonymousreply 13712/12/2011 is it that I'm obligated to know the "full story?" I'm a patron, not a therapist. So I'm obligated to leave a good tip for poor service because the waiter might be having a bad day? That's absurd.

And, NO, I'm not leaving a big tip for bad service. That's ridiculous. Particularly not if I'm going to complain to management. It doesn't show the manager that I'm a nice person, it shows him/her that I'm contradicting myself. So now you're arguing that I must leave a great tip because the bus boy might not get a good percentage? You must be a terrible waiter. If the staff isn't getting a decent share from a terrible waiter, that accelerates the departure of the terrible waiter. Honestly, you're ridiculous.

I work too, dearest. I can't bring all my sad personal affairs into work and expect that my co-workers will tolerate my rude behavior and a consistently bad job performance because I'm mopey. That's not how life works. I'm terribly sorry if my waiter got a "C" on his college algebra final, and then decides to express his disappointment by being rude to everyone he serves. Because he's going to be even more disappointed when I leave him a 15 percent tip, and tell the manager that the waiter was disagreeable and rude. That's how life works. If you carry on at work like some badly behaved asshole, you may not have your job for long. We all have our sad stories> I may be out at dinner because I just finished visiting a sick relative in the hospital. Think I feel like paying someone to treat me badly? Uh, no. I don't particularly like that idea.

It's not welfare, hon. Which I'm not opposed to, BTW. It's his job. Service is part of his job. If he can't wait tables there are plenty of other jobs that he might prefer, ones that don't require any customer interaction. As for his co-workers, if they get small shares from his lousy tips, that's HIS fault, not mine.

by Anonymousreply 13812/12/2011

Maybe the waitrons with bad attitudes should get jobs where their pay isn't dependent on how well they can prance.

by Anonymousreply 13912/12/2011

W&W R139

by Anonymousreply 14012/12/2011

[quote]You never know the full story with people. You can never assume to know their minds. That waiter's boyfriend might have walked out that morning. His sister might have died a few weeks before.

I agree with R138. Nothing justifies berating a customer for a better tip, unless you're a stripper in some dive bar. It's completely unprofessional.

by Anonymousreply 14112/12/2011

My partner and I were once dinner guests of a young couple in a Los Angeles restaruant. Our hosts were from a country where tipping is not customary. When the check was presented to our host he asked me how to handle the tip. I pointed out the correct space, and told him to write in the amount he wished to tip the waiter. I noted that he tipped $10.00 on a check that was just over $150.00. I excused myself saying I had to go to the restroom. When I got up from the table I removed a twenty and and a five from my wallet and went in search of the waiter to give him what I considered to be a more than generous tip for the barely adequate service we had recieved. Upon looking around for the waiter I saw him standing at our table berating our host for the small amount of the tip. I called him aside and showed him the $25 in my hand telling him that I had intended to give to him in a manner that would not embarrass my friends, but since he had already embarrassed them I saw no need to give him the money. I then went to the manager and explained what had happend. The manager asked me to leave my name, phone number and address. I did, and the following day got a phone call from the manager telling me that the waiter wss no longer with the restaurant, and that my party of four would be welcome to come back and enjoy a free dinner.

by Anonymousreply 14212/12/2011

I am white and my boyfriend is from El Salvador. I tip based on the interation of him and waiter.

by Anonymousreply 14312/12/2011

r143 here, ,anything under $75 is a $20 tip. $100 is $30. I don't tip on a get it all or none ...based on the service.

by Anonymousreply 14412/12/2011

I wouldn't feel bad at leaving less than norm in Canada, OP. Minimum wage in most provinces is at least $9 an hour, and there are no different wages for servers.

by Anonymousreply 14512/12/2011

That's pretty cool, r143/144. Do you find that you're remembered when you return to the same places over again?

There's one place my partner and I go about twice a month. We usually get the same waitress, and we tip her at least 20% rounded up to the nearest dollar. That is standard practice here and frankly the only reasonable thing to do if you live in a place with only a few decent restaurants. We always get great service.

Both my partner and I worked for less than a day at restaurants before flaming out, so we know it's harder than it appears to be.

I have never been harassed by a waiter about a tip, though I have left extra to cover for tightfisted lesbians and old people who leave change on the table.

by Anonymousreply 14612/12/2011

[quote]like other posters on this board I do use different personas.

Wow! Even if you don't use trolldar on a regular basis, hit it on r129 and you'll be amazed at the yellow streaming through all the threads that were on the front pages last night. While it's usual to post on many threads, it's not usual to use dozens of identities during one visit to DL. Even mhb/MPC doesn't do that.

by Anonymousreply 14712/12/2011

Tipping is un-American.

by Anonymousreply 14812/12/2011

r138, you're single, right?

by Anonymousreply 14912/12/2011

Only the one whom I let have his way with me in lieu of cash.

Actually, it was MY way. But it didn't last long.

by Anonymousreply 15012/15/2011

It's not a tip if it's made mandatory. Why not have the same as in Europe? Salaries of waiting staff are included in the price of the food as listed on the menu, also inclusive of VAT. No surprises at the end and if you wish to leave some extra for an above and beyond service, you can still always do so.

by Anonymousreply 15112/15/2011

When I heard my 18 year old niece complaining about only making $220 in a four hour shift it made me rethink the twnety percent standard. This in an area of the country that skilled tradesmen average about 28k per annum. Just saying I know waiting tables is work but really?

by Anonymousreply 15203/19/2013
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