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I'm worried sick about Mary Worth.

Someone stole her credit card and charged $400 to it in the first hour alone! How will she pay her bills now?

by Anonymousreply 13509/16/2014

I prefer Mary Worthless myself.

by Anonymousreply 111/12/2011

Is that old hag still around? What is the purpose of comics that are so boring and serious like a dull soap opera?

by Anonymousreply 211/12/2011

That is insane that this and Apartment 3G are still around. Who waits each day to read the next two sentences of a story?

by Anonymousreply 311/12/2011

That's nothing. Last week, Mary Worth had a kiniption over Madonna's Like A Virgin and how it was turning young girls into thoughtless strumpets. That was after she ranted about the evils of Kool-Aid.

by Anonymousreply 411/12/2011

Poor Mary, girl will be turning tricks on the corner to make rent this month.

by Anonymousreply 511/12/2011

Can someone summarize the premise of Mary Worth to me? The Wikipedia article isn't very helpful.

So she's an old lady who gives advice and wisdom to people in crisis?

by Anonymousreply 611/12/2011

Old cunt had it coming.

by Anonymousreply 711/12/2011

I'm on the case.

by Anonymousreply 811/12/2011

The vapors? I'll be right there.

by Anonymousreply 911/12/2011

No one will ever know that *I* stole Mary's credit card to buy $400 worth of Subway gift card ....oh shit .....

by Anonymousreply 1011/12/2011

One of my favorite Golden Girls exchanges was when someone mentioned Apartment 3-G.

Dorothy: Apartment 3-G? I haven't read that in years.

Blanche: Really? Let me catch you up to speed... It's later the same day...

by Anonymousreply 1111/12/2011

She's a sweet old lady.

by Anonymousreply 1211/12/2011

If you're tired of Apt. 3-G, you're tired of life.

Really, Comic Curmudgeon (see link) is instructive here. I sort of despise people who get irked because comics are slow and idiotic--that's part of their charm.

by Anonymousreply 1311/12/2011

If you're tired of Apt. 3-G, you're tired of life?!




by Anonymousreply 1411/12/2011

I hope this forces Mart into bankruptcy. Then she can be forced to move in with three other mature women, and they can have adventures, eat cheesecake, all that stuff!

by Anonymousreply 1511/12/2011

Mary Worth Blog

by Anonymousreply 1611/12/2011

Oh, Mary ....NO!

by Anonymousreply 1711/12/2011

271 posts on Comic Curmudgeon about Friday's SHOCKING episodes of MARY WORTH and APT-3G.

When was the last time a thread went to even 100 posts around here?

by Anonymousreply 1811/12/2011

Is 'Kelly Green' a good comic?

by Anonymousreply 1911/12/2011

She knows Poverty. She was originally 'Apple Mary' selling apples during the depression.

by Anonymousreply 2011/12/2011

Does Mary Worth age? Or does she, by making every hour last a week, remain slowly-aging, perhaps like some hybrid.

by Anonymousreply 2111/13/2011

Why did they never make a movie based on Mary Worth?

by Anonymousreply 2211/13/2011

I think Mary needs to track down the call center for her credit card and work her magic. Imagine what would happen if she was set loose in a cube farm. In fact, dear Mary might have been able to save Ginny in accounting, that poor dear. Someone needs to start that thread, stat: "Would Mary Worth have saved Ginny in Accounting?"

by Anonymousreply 2311/13/2011

Mary has cane-face.

Just saying.

by Anonymousreply 2411/13/2011

Does Mary Worth have bodily functions, or do her parts look like that of a Barbie doll's?

by Anonymousreply 2511/13/2011

LOL R24. I remember reading the Sunday comics over at the breakfast table over my mother's shoulder and when she turned to the Brenda Starr page I asked why that man (Hank) was wearing a dress?

Was she the first lesbian in the funnies? Or did Cathy come first?

by Anonymousreply 2611/13/2011

I haven't read "Mary Worth" in ages. Did she ever beat the child molestation charges? I know she was guilty, but it seemed like her plan to frame her retarded handyman was going to be successful.

by Anonymousreply 2711/13/2011

Loved it when Mary Worth made an appearance in "Pearls Before Swine" and the characters made fun of the fact that Mary's strip doesn't progress quickly. "Does she ever respond?". "Maybe in another strip or two."

by Anonymousreply 2811/13/2011

Ha! I also think we should see a little more Dynasty type drama in Mary's life. She can find out she's related to the ultra-rich folks in her CA town. Maybe Mary sold some of her eggs 40 years ago and now her birth child is someone like Adam Carrington. Then we throw in a few Nolan Miller dresses, and good old Mary is the comic strip equivalent of a Morell Carrington Colby Dexter Rowan.

by Anonymousreply 2911/13/2011

Mary's too old for Dynasty-type drama. Maybe a drifter could rape her?

by Anonymousreply 3011/13/2011

No, R27, she didn't. The tard got wind of what she was trying to do so Mary had to kill him. She ended up running him over in a stolen Cadillac. A rather gruesome drawn-out massacre that lasted over 12 strips (roughly 4 months).

Mary was convicted as a pedophile and had to register as a sex offender. The judge was going to give her a harsh sentence, make an example of her. Luckily she had dirt on his sleazy dealings and he gave her 2 months...suspended! Later that night, Mary sodomized him with his own gavel!

Ole Mare is still on the national registry, which explains why you never see Dennie around.

by Anonymousreply 3111/13/2011

Does Mary still have that "Nigerian Prince needs your personal info to transfer millions" email scheme still going on? If I recall, she had set up a number of shell corporations in the Caribbean tax havens and was preparing to flee the country once she hit 250 million. Since she's still in that dismal condo, is she prepping for one last haul? Or, did she get ripped off by another grifter, a la "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels"?

by Anonymousreply 3211/13/2011

When I get to my destination, I am going to kill Mary Worth.

by Anonymousreply 3311/13/2011

Remember when Mary peformed backroom abortions for the rough trade in her town? There were the unfortunate few who had to be buried in the backyard.

Remember when Mary would belt back the whiskey and seduce random guys in the roadhouse two towns over?

Remember when Mary had a manic episode (something to do with new anti-psychotic meds) and walked around dressed and talking like her histrionic alter ego, "Natasha"?

by Anonymousreply 3411/13/2011

Actually, Mary was a Russian sleeper agent in the 50s, code name "Natasha"...she then became a double agent and renounced the Kremlin. But I have my doubts. She is way too interested in everyone else's business NOT to be a spy/grifter/what have you.

If she ever writes her bio, ohh the secrets she can spill. That affair with Dick Tracy, the time in the 70s as the sexy female side-kick to the Phantom, and who can forget when she opened that rival newspaper rag "The Daily Know, NOW" that practically forced Brenda Starr's publisher to shut down.

Look out, when Mary Worth is around, you in danger, gurl!

by Anonymousreply 3511/13/2011

I can't believe no one has brought up Mary's part in making 9/11 happen, opening her doors to Saudi terrorists and making her basement into a sleeper cell while they plotted America's destruction. She did anything for that Saudi businessman who impregnanted her at 16 and took their child to the Middle East to be brought up by his 22 wives in order to protect her pristine image and save her from a life of scandal.

by Anonymousreply 3611/13/2011

Has Mary ever been linked to Daphne Zuniga?

A lot of these posts are reminiscent of things reported about Daphne in the "Why was Daphne Zuniga sitting next to Steven Spielberg at the Golden Globes?" thread. I wonder if she and Mary could be in cahoots...

by Anonymousreply 3711/13/2011

I heard that Mary was Julie's mom. I hate them.

by Anonymousreply 3811/13/2011

Mary defended Charlie Sheen during his crazy antics.

by Anonymousreply 3911/13/2011

r22 - they had a television series based on the strip where Mary solved crimes. It was called Murder, She Wrote.

by Anonymousreply 4011/13/2011

It is a little known fact that the movie "Not Without My Daughter" was based on Mary's experiences.

Personally, I think she should have played herself, Gidget didn't do her justice.

by Anonymousreply 4111/13/2011

Few can recall that Mary told Nixon that everyone was out to get him and that he should tape all of his conversations.

by Anonymousreply 4211/13/2011

Mary told Agnes Nixon to do everything she can to save AMC and even put her in touch with the brass at Prospect Park (one of the executive's wives is on the same Red Hat committee as Mary), thus preventing long-time viewers to get the closure they so desperately crave.

by Anonymousreply 4311/13/2011

Mary was one of Marlene Dietrich's lovers in the late 50s.

by Anonymousreply 4411/13/2011

Herman Cain grabbed Mary's ass.

by Anonymousreply 4511/13/2011

Mary gave up my friend Julie for adoption.

by Anonymousreply 4611/13/2011

Mary tried to use Lindsay Lohan's Lifetime Carvel discount card, but got nabbed.

by Anonymousreply 4711/13/2011

Mary swapped out June Alyson's Depends with Rosemary Clooney's Cloronet paper napkins.

by Anonymousreply 4811/13/2011

I heard Madonna gave Mary a producing credit on that W movie...

by Anonymousreply 4911/13/2011

To the credit of the "Mary Worth" writer, the comic was the first--and one of the few--to address the AIDS crisis in the 80's. Mary was having a relationship with a fellow senior and she made him wear a condom. It took MONTHS to unwrap that thing.

by Anonymousreply 5011/13/2011

I know some of Mary's darkest secrets, but I dare not say anything. She made it perfectly clear that if I say or do anything to tarnish her reputation, she scalp my pubic region and wear it like a mask.

by Anonymousreply 5111/13/2011

Hilarious, R50!

by Anonymousreply 5211/13/2011

It was Mary Worth who first wrote about all of the strange goings on in front of Jasmine Guy's house. Jas & Mary still haven't spoken to each other since Mary's first report.

by Anonymousreply 5311/13/2011

Mary enticed Bai Ling up on the roof with some 12-day-old moo shu pork.

by Anonymousreply 5411/13/2011

Mary Worth trolls DL as mhb

by Anonymousreply 5511/13/2011

Mary Worth was considered for MAME before they went with Lucille Ball.

by Anonymousreply 5611/13/2011

Mary Worth? I hate that woman! She douches with Jean N'ate. She smokes camels--and I don't mean the cigarettes! At her cocktail parties, she serves Tab! She fancies herself a glamour gal but she;s treally just Susan Flannery minus the barely-there lingering, minimal trace of femininity. And under that matronly wardrobe, she wears a girdle--AND boxer shorts!!!

by Anonymousreply 5711/13/2011

Mary Worth touched us. In our naughty parts.

by Anonymousreply 5811/13/2011

Everybody knows that Mary was involved in those shenanigans over to the Del Monte Mansion ....she was the first to coin the term " fruit cocktail."

by Anonymousreply 5911/14/2011

Mary Worth had Snoopy put down while everyone else was attending Charles M. Schulz's funeral.

by Anonymousreply 6011/14/2011

Mary Worth's bitchiness is what turned Bil Keane into a drunk.

by Anonymousreply 6111/15/2011

Mary Worth not only asked but told on Beetle Bailey.

by Anonymousreply 6211/15/2011

Please do not lean on the case. It contains a very rare Mary Worth, in which she has advised a friend to commit suicide.

by Anonymousreply 6311/15/2011

Mary Worth told Mark Trail, "If you really want to be a conservationist, you can save water by showering with your junior rangers. All the 'jocks' do it."

by Anonymousreply 6411/15/2011

Oh, this is rich, Mary Worth being involved in other character's lives is priceless.

Did she ever babysit for Dondi? did she have a thing for Dondi's Korean veteran adoptive father?

What about Dick Tracy? Do you think Mary and Tess Trueheart were friends?

Would Mary ever attend a soiree at the fabulous Apartment 3-G?

And are the rumors of Mary and Judge Parker true?

by Anonymousreply 6511/15/2011

Mary Worth told us there's no such thing as God.

by Anonymousreply 6611/15/2011

[quote]did she have a thing for Dondi's Korean veteran adoptive father?


by Anonymousreply 6711/15/2011

[quote]What about Dick Tracy? Do you think Mary and Tess Trueheart were friends?

Sweetheart, Mary worked in the early years under the identity "Breathless Mahoney."

by Anonymousreply 6811/15/2011

R67, why is the question about Mary and Dondi's adoptive father a FAIL! (as you felt the need to type)?

Now what I want to know is what happened between Brenda and Mary to make Brenda such a bitch? Did Mary tell someone that Brenda's red drapes didn't match the carpet?

Of course you've all heard of Mary's many adventuresome nights with Steve Canyon, right?

by Anonymousreply 6911/15/2011

Mary Worth, the original Manson girl

by Anonymousreply 7011/15/2011

Mary isn't here ... only Natasha.

by Anonymousreply 7111/15/2011

I apologize r69. Dondi's adoptive father was a WW2 veteran who found Dondi wandering int eh rubble of a bombed out Italian town saying 'Donde' (Spanish for where..he was looking for his parents..I guess the creator thought Spanish and Italian were the same).

I did not realize that as the strip progressed and since the characters never aged, the story changed to Dondi being found in Korea (and later in Viet Nam). I thought it was obvious that Dondi was Italian but I was wrong.

by Anonymousreply 7211/17/2011

According to Hank O'Hare, Mary Worth will eat snausages from anywhere you put them. *ANYWHERE*.

by Anonymousreply 7311/17/2011

Hey R72, R69 here, thanks for the post.. I didn't realize Dondi was once adopted by a WWII veteran.

I guess it's age... I read the strip in NY's Daily News as a kid in the late 60s/early70s. The writers must have already made the switch.

But back to Mary... has she ever gone camping with Mark (Treasure) Trail?

by Anonymousreply 7411/17/2011

Mary asked me to marry her on Sadie Hawkins Day.

by Anonymousreply 7511/18/2011

Mary Worth butted into my affairs one too many times and I turned on her. I'd just had enough. "Why don't you mind your own business, you pettifogging old busybody!? My relationship is none of your concern."

I got home later that day to find my cat strangled.

Mary just smiled when I confronted her. "Why, you know I can't move that fast, Donald."

by Anonymousreply 7611/18/2011

Mary Worth gave Nana Mouskouri her first hit of Meth!

by Anonymousreply 7711/18/2011

I wish I knew how to host a blog or work graphics on a computer; there is so much potential here for a series of comic strips full of crossovers...

Mary Worth and Brenda Starr being frenemies (beacause Mary slept with Basil St. John)

Mary Worth showing up in a Dick Tracy strip from the 40s (maybe as a cocktail waitress or some mobsters mother)

Mary as a substitute teacher in Gil Thorpe (wreaking havoc on the season because the star QB is flunking English and she won't give him permission to play)

Mary being hired as a babysitter for BD and Boopsie in Doonesbury

Mary as a serial killer, quietly offing the women of Apartment 3G (very Edge of Night)

Endless possibilities!

by Anonymousreply 7811/18/2011

Mary pee'd on my napping couch.

by Anonymousreply 7911/18/2011

I went trick or treating at Mary Worth's house. She crapped in my treat bag.

by Anonymousreply 8011/18/2011

Mary told me that Hobbes was just a stuffed animal.

by Anonymousreply 8111/18/2011

This is a great thread.

by Anonymousreply 8211/18/2011

The lasagna that Mary baked for me had a funny taste. Then I wondered why I hadn't seen Odie lately.

by Anonymousreply 8311/18/2011

May Worth gave me a haircut.

by Anonymousreply 8411/18/2011

This horrible girl at school said that Mary Worth likes to "go muff diving off the coast of Dyke-achusetts." Is that true? And is she into younger...women?

by Anonymousreply 8511/18/2011

Mary gets out of being arrested by bestowing "favors" on Sheriff Tait.

by Anonymousreply 8611/18/2011

Mary Worth popped Alexander Bumstead's cherry!

by Anonymousreply 8711/18/2011

I'm pretty sure Mary killed Little Orphan Annie's parents. I owe her for my notoriety.

by Anonymousreply 8811/18/2011

Really R88? My understanding is that Mary was the kindly matron of the orphanage that took such good care of that little red-headed brat.

by Anonymousreply 8911/18/2011

The peasants are revolting. And so is Mary Worth.

by Anonymousreply 9011/18/2011

No, R89, Mary was the realtor that sold the Mitchell's the house next door.

by Anonymousreply 9111/18/2011

The psychiatrist is NOT in when that old bitch comes calling!

by Anonymousreply 9211/18/2011


by Anonymousreply 9311/18/2011

Mary worth did my hair too!

by Anonymousreply 9411/18/2011

Mary Worth was a one-night throwaway fuck. She liked to be slapped around.

by Anonymousreply 9511/18/2011

The only thing I don't like about Mary Worth is the fact that she has the tendency to be a bit too competitive. Cathy lost 2 lbs in a month, so Mary lost 10 lbs in a week. Sally Forth got a new hairstyle, so Mary got a facelift and boob job. Mr. Wilson's begonias won first place in the Sedgwick County Fair, so Mary started a (successful) whisper campaign about him being a boy-hungry pedophile!

by Anonymousreply 9611/18/2011

Little known fact: Mary worked at Dunkin' Donuts in her youth. Even lesser known fact: Once a month, when Mary was being visited by Aunt Flo, the manager refused to let her work the counter. "Time to make the donuts," he'd tell her. But Mary was a sharp one; that wasn't jelly in those jelly donuts.

by Anonymousreply 9711/18/2011

Is Mary Worth that old broad who poops in my litter box?

by Anonymousreply 9811/19/2011

R96, before the facelift and boob job, I was told that Mary scored Sally Forth across the board "3s" on Sally's performance review. The scale was 1 - 5, so Sally didn't get a raise!

Sally really needed the extra cash too because of her husband's little known gambling problem. It's said he owes thousands of dollars to a local loan shark.

by Anonymousreply 9911/19/2011


by Anonymousreply 10011/19/2011

I hear that Mary Worth is planning to announce her intention to run for President and secure the Republican nomination.

by Anonymousreply 10111/19/2011

By brother Jason won first place in his school's science fair for building a robotic love doll based on Mary Worth. The judges agreed that his creation's vagina felt just like Mary's, but tighter. I'd have to agree; however, hers has an aroma that can't be duplicated.

by Anonymousreply 10211/19/2011

I heard from my sister's best friend's second cousin that Mary bought the house across the street fro Jasmine Guy's house. She plans to open up a TMZ style blog and figures she'll have exclusive photos of any big break-ups. Ya'll know that Demi and Ashton stopped by there just the other day.

by Anonymousreply 10311/19/2011

Mary Worth lives a double life that pales in comparison to her good reputation. Let's just say that she gives Mr. Goodbar a good run for his money constantly cruising Gasoline Alley in search of dick, day or night. She doesn't care, she wants what she wants and you know what? I can't fault her for it. I guess it's no wonder some hooligan got hold of her credit card though.

by Anonymousreply 10411/19/2011

I think a great premise for a Broadway show would be Mary Worth deciding to drive a van full of lesbian's to Michfest. Along the way they could pick up womyn in need of a ride, solve various mysteries and experience the power of true sisterhood.

And then, wackiness ensues when they pitch a tent in the wrong area...and Mary winds up on garbage duties with the fat womyn...

by Anonymousreply 10511/19/2011

R105, the best way to end the MichFest Road Trip flick is for the unhappy womyn Mary's shuttling over hill and dale decide that they don't need to attend MichFest.

They've all learned from Mary Worth how to be nice people who are concerned about the others in their lives. They see from Mary how one can be calm and collected and well-coiffed even after they've reached the age of a crone.

They decide to shave their armpits, lose enough weight to stop using canes and keep themselves "fresh" during the month.

I love the idea that they solve mysteries - Mary Worth as Jessica Fletcher sounds delish.

by Anonymousreply 10611/19/2011

Has Mary finished dialing the phone yet?

by Anonymousreply 10712/01/2011


by Anonymousreply 10808/13/2012

Mary Worth phone

by Anonymousreply 10908/13/2012

No one cares about your stupid blog Josh. Go peddle it somewhere else

by Anonymousreply 11008/13/2012


by Anonymousreply 11102/17/2013

She's been wandering around Tucson for weeks now, searching for a story line...

by Anonymousreply 11208/26/2013

omg the artwork on the Apartment 3G is awful. It's really gone downhill. It used to be beautifully drawn in the 60s.

by Anonymousreply 11308/26/2013

Mary Worth got pushed today, 11/19/13 in Central Park.

Confess. Which one of you bitches did it?

by Anonymousreply 11411/19/2013

There should be a fundshare for Mary, to help her recover from being pushed and possibly raped over the next few weeks.

by Anonymousreply 11511/19/2013

It takes a special type of man to rape in the Mary Worth-verse. A slow man, with not a lot of appointments.

by Anonymousreply 11611/19/2013

Mary Worth?


by Anonymousreply 11711/19/2013

She gave Gil Thorp a wicked case of crabs.

by Anonymousreply 11811/19/2013

Everbody knows Snoopy made a LOT of fucking noise at Charterstone, pretending to be a WWI Fucking Ace. He deserved what he got.

by Anonymousreply 11911/26/2013

That bitch knows damn well that Sybian charge is hers!

by Anonymousreply 12011/26/2013

I was just run off all the Mary Worth fan boards by some Serbian; anyone else?

by Anonymousreply 12106/10/2014

Fortunately, it takes decades for anything to happen to Mary Worth.

Actually, it would have been more suitable for me to format this with one word in every post.

by Anonymousreply 12206/11/2014

Best Mary Worth comment ever?

by Anonymousreply 12306/14/2014

Thanks, R123. I notice that Mary has had some work done.

by Anonymousreply 12406/24/2014

This whole story with Olive is the worst.

by Anonymousreply 12509/15/2014

Agreed, R125. It had so much potential: flower fairies, angels, a torso cyst, a heroin addicted doctor... and it was still boring.

But it looks like it may be over, finally. Now an adventure where MARY GOES TO THE STORE!!

by Anonymousreply 12609/16/2014

What I love about this thread is that it is attenuated over years and years, rather like the Mary Worth story lines.

by Anonymousreply 12709/16/2014

It was actually Mary Worth who burned little Janet Jackson with that iron on Good Times.

by Anonymousreply 12809/16/2014

[bold]No it was Kim Feilds

by Anonymousreply 12909/16/2014

Let the busybody bitch starve to death.

by Anonymousreply 13009/16/2014

They need to burn down her damn condo and send her on more exciting adventures. I'd love to get my hands on the serials and turn them inside out.

Mary Worth and Apartment 3G are package strips. Meaning if you want the good strips, the agreement is that you also have to carry the ones included in the package.

by Anonymousreply 13109/16/2014


by Anonymousreply 13209/16/2014

[/bold] Did this work?

by Anonymousreply 13309/16/2014

R133 here. Turned off the bold.

by Anonymousreply 13409/16/2014

R129 has a sprinkling of Special

by Anonymousreply 13509/16/2014
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