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Can you liposuction yourself at home?

I can't afford a liposuction doctor and I am tired of being fat. Has anyone here performed self lipo at home? How did it go? Any tips?

by Anonymousreply 3503/10/2015

Just stab yourself and shove the vacuum hose in there. Easy.

by Anonymousreply 109/16/2011

Use a Dyson.

It's quicker.

by Anonymousreply 209/16/2011

I prefer the mile for lipo- and blow- jobs.

by Anonymousreply 309/16/2011

Fuck me! I mean't MIELE. Fucking autocorrect--I eat shit...

by Anonymousreply 409/16/2011

Don't be silly OP. For the amount of time you would have to take off work to recover, you are better off developing a coke habit. %0D %0D Tapeworms are tempting but the thought of one wiggling about inside of me is creepy.

by Anonymousreply 509/16/2011

Those flesh-eating bacteria, OP ... can be harnessed and controlled. Scientists in Budapest are very close the making this startling announcement!

by Anonymousreply 609/17/2011

Just make sure you use a fresh bag!

by Anonymousreply 709/17/2011

see a shrink

by Anonymousreply 809/17/2011

OP, even if you had a liposuction, the real work starts after the surgery to prevent fat from accumulating. Get to a gym and get busy. You know what to do. Lipo is painful, too.

by Anonymousreply 909/17/2011

It's fun and easy! You need just three simple tools: a box cutter, a straw and a glue gun. It gives total new meaning to the term "self-suck." The results are amazing! The difference in how you will look the next day is stark!

by Anonymousreply 1009/17/2011

There's home lipo kits now available at your local drug store. Good Luck!!!!

by Anonymousreply 1109/17/2011

I wish people took this thread more seriously. I have a pesky four pounds that I just CANNOT get rid of!

by Anonymousreply 1209/17/2011

You can get the special lipo suction tube for your Hoover. They often have them used on eBay for less than $50.

by Anonymousreply 1309/17/2011

R9 what are you talking about? I was told that one cannot exercise for 6 weeks after lipo. What real work are you talking about?

by Anonymousreply 1409/17/2011

I could self-suck nose to nuts when I was a teen.

by Anonymousreply 1509/17/2011

Dead fraus tell no tales.

by Anonymousreply 1609/17/2011

bump, still waiting for answers.

by Anonymousreply 1702/09/2012

[quote] For the amount of time you would have to take off work to recover, you are better off developing a coke habit.

Since I'm sure that the OP is G/R/Umpy and he's currently unemployed this should work out well for him.

by Anonymousreply 1802/09/2012

Forget the lipo, I want to hear more from r15!

by Anonymousreply 1902/09/2012

Oh, is that why he keeps bumping all these threads from months ago? What an idiot.

by Anonymousreply 2002/09/2012

I think Suzanne Somers sells a do-it-yourself lipo machine on her website. Check it out OP.

by Anonymousreply 2102/09/2012

Get a reverse-cycle Hoover with the lipo attachment. They work great!!!!

by Anonymousreply 2202/09/2012

Whatever you do, don't get a Dyson lipo. Everyone who has used that ends up with a lisp.

by Anonymousreply 2302/09/2012 not try it.

by Anonymousreply 2402/09/2012

I want to hear from someone who has had lipo.

by Anonymousreply 2502/09/2012

If you really want to lose fat, get your spleen removed. secrets a hormone that aids the body in storing fat, you really don't need your spleen for anything, if you're fit.

by Anonymousreply 2602/09/2012

Just poke yourself with an ice pick and let all the gravy run out.

by Anonymousreply 2702/09/2012

Well, you will be dead if you do it but feel free.

by Anonymousreply 2802/09/2012


by Anonymousreply 2902/09/2012

You can order a lipo kit from the Flow-bee people.

by Anonymousreply 3002/09/2012

Hell No, Fuck That Shit. Fuck you all.... Eat shit

by Anonymousreply 3102/13/2013

If they sucked the fat out of me there would be nothing left in my head, lips or ass.

by Anonymousreply 3202/13/2013

This, OP:

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 3302/13/2013

I had Smart Lipo done on my upper and lower abs and also my chin/neck in December. Takes 3 months for the swelling to go all the way down. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND you read the stories at the following website before you do anything like lipo.

Smart Lipo

Read 2,311 reviews of Smart Lipo, including cost and before and after photos, submitted by members of the RealSelf community.

by Anonymousreply 3402/13/2013

Why are so many of these commenters such assholes? Snide rude remarks aren't funny. Yes, it's kind of dangerous questions when posed from your average person who has absolutely no business trying to essentially perform surgery. That said it wasn't THAT long ago that you needed way more time spent in a library to find out absolutely everything about that how certain breakthroughs or discoveries. It's POSSIBLE one day we might be able to. Just lay off the rudeness huh? It doesn't help the person asking the question and it certainly shouldn't raise anyone's opinion about you as a human being

by Anonymousreply 3503/10/2015
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