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Can you liposuction yourself at home?

I can't afford a liposuction doctor and I am tired of being fat. Has anyone here performed self lipo at home? How did it go? Any tips?

by Anonymousreply 3503/10/2015

Just stab yourself and shove the vacuum hose in there. Easy.

by Anonymousreply 109/17/2011

Use a Dyson.

It's quicker.

by Anonymousreply 209/17/2011

I prefer the mile for lipo- and blow- jobs.

by Anonymousreply 309/17/2011

Fuck me! I mean't MIELE. Fucking autocorrect--I eat shit...

by Anonymousreply 409/17/2011

Don't be silly OP. For the amount of time you would have to take off work to recover, you are better off developing a coke habit. %0D %0D Tapeworms are tempting but the thought of one wiggling about inside of me is creepy.

by Anonymousreply 509/17/2011

Just make sure you use a fresh bag!

by Anonymousreply 709/17/2011

OP, even if you had a liposuction, the real work starts after the surgery to prevent fat from accumulating. Get to a gym and get busy. You know what to do. Lipo is painful, too.

by Anonymousreply 909/17/2011

It's fun and easy! You need just three simple tools: a box cutter, a straw and a glue gun. It gives total new meaning to the term "self-suck." The results are amazing! The difference in how you will look the next day is stark!

by Anonymousreply 1009/17/2011

There's home lipo kits now available at your local drug store. Good Luck!!!!

by Anonymousreply 1109/17/2011

I wish people took this thread more seriously. I have a pesky four pounds that I just CANNOT get rid of!

by Anonymousreply 1209/17/2011

You can get the special lipo suction tube for your Hoover. They often have them used on eBay for less than $50.

by Anonymousreply 1309/17/2011

R9 what are you talking about? I was told that one cannot exercise for 6 weeks after lipo. What real work are you talking about?

by Anonymousreply 1409/17/2011

I could self-suck nose to nuts when I was a teen.

by Anonymousreply 1509/17/2011

Dead fraus tell no tales.

by Anonymousreply 1609/17/2011

[quote] For the amount of time you would have to take off work to recover, you are better off developing a coke habit.

Since I'm sure that the OP is G/R/Umpy and he's currently unemployed this should work out well for him.

by Anonymousreply 1802/09/2012

Forget the lipo, I want to hear more from r15!

by Anonymousreply 1902/09/2012

Oh, is that why he keeps bumping all these threads from months ago? What an idiot.

by Anonymousreply 2002/09/2012

I think Suzanne Somers sells a do-it-yourself lipo machine on her website. Check it out OP.

by Anonymousreply 2102/09/2012

Get a reverse-cycle Hoover with the lipo attachment. They work great!!!!

by Anonymousreply 2202/09/2012

Whatever you do, don't get a Dyson lipo. Everyone who has used that ends up with a lisp.

by Anonymousreply 2302/09/2012

Umpina...do not try it.

by Anonymousreply 2402/09/2012

I want to hear from someone who has had lipo.

by Anonymousreply 2502/09/2012

If you really want to lose fat, get your spleen removed. ...it secrets a hormone that aids the body in storing fat, you really don't need your spleen for anything, if you're fit.

by Anonymousreply 2602/09/2012

Just poke yourself with an ice pick and let all the gravy run out.

by Anonymousreply 2702/09/2012

Well, you will be dead if you do it but feel free.

by Anonymousreply 2802/09/2012

hairworm

by Anonymousreply 2902/09/2012

You can order a lipo kit from the Flow-bee people.

by Anonymousreply 3002/09/2012

Hell No, Fuck That Shit. Fuck you all.... Eat shit

by Anonymousreply 3102/13/2013

If they sucked the fat out of me there would be nothing left in my head, lips or ass.

by Anonymousreply 3202/13/2013

This, OP:

by Anonymousreply 3302/13/2013

I had Smart Lipo done on my upper and lower abs and also my chin/neck in December. Takes 3 months for the swelling to go all the way down. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND you read the stories at the following website before you do anything like lipo.

by Anonymousreply 3402/13/2013
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