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Why do some lesbians pretend to be attracted to men?

I have two out lesbian friends who are always saying things like "I can't wait to see 'Twilight.' Taylor Lautner's abs are so sexy!" %0D %0D Are they just fucking with my mind? Or do lesbians actually find some men attractive? I don't get it. I have heard gay men talk about the beauty of some women, but with no sense of sexual attraction. My lesbian friends sound like there's an actual attraction.%0D %0D What's up with this phenomenon?? Will any lesbians help clarify this for me?

by Anonymousreply 14707/03/2013

Are you an Umpy wannabe?

by Anonymousreply 109/03/2011

Lesbians on DL always seem to say how hot they find gay porn...I don't know what's going on there.

by Anonymousreply 209/03/2011

I sometimes have sexual atraction to 'the opposite sex', straight or gay, but I don't ever want to take it any further. I imagine your lesbian friends feel the same.

by Anonymousreply 309/03/2011

I have no idea what you're talking about.

by Anonymousreply 409/03/2011

Generally the male of most species are more beautiful and attractive than the females, such as lions, peacocks, roosters, deer, antelopes etc etc... I guess even if you sexually attracted to other lesbians, you must have realized your ain't going to overwhelmed by the beauty of your partners.

by Anonymousreply 509/03/2011

Haha, is that satire R5? Finally an explanation why female beauty plays no role in our society!

by Anonymousreply 609/03/2011

Let's ask Rosie why she was always creaming in her panties over Tom Cruise.

by Anonymousreply 709/03/2011

A good friend of mine told me that she almost always fantasizes about men, but doesn't act on it because women are more of the complete package for her, and she'd bore easily with a male partner.

I didn't find her argument particularly convincing. I guess some lesbians aren't immune to the pressures that make some gay men identify as bi when they aren't (not that I'm saying that bisexuality doesn't exist - we've had that argument many times...)

by Anonymousreply 809/03/2011

Hey! the Bread Pudding is delicious!

by Anonymousreply 909/03/2011

Because they get to be first lady or Secretary of State.

by Anonymousreply 1009/03/2011

[quote]Let's ask Rosie why she was always creaming in her panties over Tom Cruise.%0D %0D Exactly! It's not as if gay men cream their jeans over Barbra, Liza, Judy, etc. That would never happen. %0D %0D

by Anonymousreply 1109/03/2011

Lots of lesbians attracted to gay men.

Just like some gay men are turned on by snatch sometimes.

by Anonymousreply 1209/03/2011

Why, it's not as if gay men weren't Supermodels of the 80s groupies and know more about them than either straight men or women!

by Anonymousreply 1309/03/2011

OP, don't take it too seriously. Being sexcually attracted to the same sex doesn't negate the ability to see the beauty in someone of the opposite sex.%0D %0D It doesn't mean they want to have actual sex with that person.%0D %0D Why don't you just ask your lesbian friends who use the word "sexy" in those circumstances.

by Anonymousreply 1409/03/2011

Sounds like you have two bisexual friends, who for whatever reason call themselves "lesbian", more like?

by Anonymousreply 1509/03/2011

I find some men really sexually attractive. In theory. But in reality, I know from experience, I don't want to go there. Men can be pretty but women are who I want. Is that so hard to understand?

by Anonymousreply 1609/03/2011

[quote]Haha, is that satire [R5]? Finally an explanation why female beauty plays no role in our society!

Which also explains why there is a multi billion dollar cosmetics and fashion industry to create the illusion of beauty in females.

by Anonymousreply 1709/03/2011

Another lesbian here. There are some rare instances where I have been attracted to men (a couple celebrities mainly that the guys like on DL anyway Ryan Phillipe, Mark Sailing, RDJ etc - and Prince Harry, of course). But I don't fantasize about men. I know I'm strange in this regard - I don't consider myself bisexual (I don't think, but maybe technically I am?). At this point, being in my mid thirties, I really don't have the desire to question my sexuality. I consider myself a lesbian.

by Anonymousreply 1809/03/2011

Well smell you, R5/R17.

Most gay men aren't misogynists, but there's no misogynist like a gay man.

by Anonymousreply 1909/03/2011

r11 ate a brain tumor for breakfast.

by Anonymousreply 2009/03/2011

R17 makes a very interesting point, actually. I've never thought about it that way.%0D %0D

by Anonymousreply 2109/03/2011

I haven't met these lesbians. The ones I know have nothing good to say about men ever: they are disgusting, hold women down, their penises are ugly, having sex with one is like being raped, etc. Most lesbians truly hate men with all their fiber. But due to hormones, sometimes they sexually want to fuck a man. Which makes them hate men even more.

by Anonymousreply 2209/04/2011

Labels are like names; they are for other people. Labels don't always correspond to behavior.

by Anonymousreply 2309/04/2011

Obviously the cosmetic and fashion industry isn't necessary, since women were being fucked by men long before it came about. It's merely something for women to waste their time and money on.

by Anonymousreply 2409/04/2011

[quote]But due to hormones, sometimes they sexually want to fuck a man. Which makes them hate men even more.%0D %0D Please, R22. You should think over what company you keep. %0D %0D I'm gay and have never been sexually attracted to a guy. But I can appreciate a good-lucking guy or a charming guy. I can see attraction even if I'm not attracted to him. %0D %0D Plus my breasts are extremely popular with gay guys. At the Pride it was mainly gay guys who were looking and making (positive) comments about them. It works both ways, brothers

by Anonymousreply 2509/04/2011

it's a lot easier to fantasize about Taylor Lautner as a butch dyke than it is to fantasize about Marilyn Monroe as a hot stud.


by Anonymousreply 2609/04/2011

[quote]I find some men really sexually attractive.

r16, that, by definition, makes you bisexual. What part of that do you not understand? It's not some accusation or insult, that's simply what the word means. I don't understand bisexual men who identify as gay either. I'm genuinely curious about this, do bisexual people feel more special/unique when they say stuff like 'Oh, I'm gay/lesbian but I also find the opposite sex sexually attractive' rather than simply identifying as bisexual?

by Anonymousreply 2709/04/2011

Meh, if a woman only wants to fuck/kiss/pet/date women, where is the point in calling herself bisexual just because she likes to look at Taylor Lautner? The point of any label is that it makes communication easier. If you say you're bi, people will understand that you could go for either gender and that might be a very important thing to know about you, in case someone's interested for example. How long your eyes linger on Taylor Lautners abs is fairly unimportant to anything ever.

by Anonymousreply 2809/04/2011

r6, take away the makeup, push up bras, hair dye and heels and what do you have? A whole lot of plain Jane. Of course males are more attractive than females...its nature.

by Anonymousreply 2909/04/2011

If they don't want, and can't imagine, falling in love with and having a relationship with those opposite-sex people, they're not bi, R28. Just like a straight person can occasionally feel attracted to people of the same sex and still identify as, and be, straight, because the attraction is never strong enough to pursue it further.

by Anonymousreply 3009/04/2011

Why can't a Lesbian appreciate a beautiful man?

by Anonymousreply 3109/04/2011

Sometimes it's like admiring a beautiful horse...

but no way could you see building a life together.

by Anonymousreply 3209/04/2011

When it comes to purely sexual arousal, I think women in general are more naturally bisexual than men. %0D %0D As for orientation however, that is as strongly set in women as in men. I've known self-identified lesbians who like male/male porn but have never fallen in love with a man and are happily partnered with a woman. There are lots of happily married straight women who have lesbian sexual fantasies, too.%0D %0D I think this comes down to simply a difference between the sexes more than a difference between gay men and lesbians.

by Anonymousreply 3309/04/2011

Because she sometimes needs a tall man to reach those higher shelves at Home Depot.

by Anonymousreply 3409/04/2011

Lisa Diamond's book on sexual fluidity is quite interesting. She argues that women have a basic orientation but that, unlike men, they are also able to respond to "emotions over gender" and can experience feelings of love and attraction under specific circumstances that go against their natural orientation. She calls it "cross-orientation attraction."

by Anonymousreply 3509/04/2011

If you believe that women require artificial means in order to be attractive, r29, then of course you would consider them "Plain Janes" without those artificial means.

But the fact is, many women are naturally attractive and don't require any artificial means at all. Makeup/fashion isn't really about creating the illusion of attractiveness so much as it's about enhancing certain features and helping women to stand out from the competition.

Btw, isn't there a fashion industry for men as well?

by Anonymousreply 3609/04/2011

women are just sort of plain and nasty r36...its nature.

by Anonymousreply 3709/04/2011

So, r28, males are so much more attractive than females...Hmmm....So why is RuPaul, et al., made his fortune as a drag queen? Why are there so many more drag queens than drag kings?

by Anonymousreply 3809/04/2011

R38, why are you arguing with a gay man about male versus female beauty?

by Anonymousreply 3909/04/2011

Look at all of these plain Janes...sexless, ordinary, dull...then add makeup, push ups and hair and voila...a whole different person don't have to do this.

women = naturally mousy

men = naturally beautiful

by Anonymousreply 4009/04/2011

funny how many women have perma-acne...its the hormones...they're loaded with hormones.

by Anonymousreply 4109/04/2011

Attractiveness is in the eye of the beholder, isn't it? In nature, the male is more colorful in order to capture the female's attention. He has to catch her eye, court her, and win her over (and away from other males). Obviously he finds her attractive since he's trying to get her attention in the first place.

But I realize I'm trying to reason with a male supremacist here, so you can stick to your opinions, and the rest of who find women attractive will stick to ours.

by Anonymousreply 4209/04/2011

why do most women resort to such drastic measures to appear attractive? Because they're not. Real woman = perma-acne, saggy tits, lard ass. teensy beady eyes. dull lifeless hair and an attitude to match. Pretty woman = fake everything.

by Anonymousreply 4309/04/2011

Somebody here has MOMMY issues.

by Anonymousreply 4409/04/2011

"Look at all of these plain Janes...sexless, ordinary, dull...then add makeup, push ups and hair and voila...a whole different person don't have to do this."

Standards for men are so low that's it's fairly easy to meet them. Yet, surprisingly so, most male hogs still don't manage not to be bloated, smelly and poorly groomed; which I guess is called "rugged" instead of sloppy.

by Anonymousreply 4509/04/2011

How many of you homos comment regularly about women's bodies? Does that make you "attracted" to women?%0D %0D I can admire a nice male body, that doesn't mean I'm attracted to it or want to fuck it. Most lesbians I know feel exactly the same way. All of this "most lesbians thing men are ugly" crap comes from ignoramuses or shut-ins who know nothing about real life except what they read on msg boards.%0D %0D %0D

by Anonymousreply 4609/04/2011

I can look at a man, like Brad Pitt for example, and think; 'yeah, he's sexy' and admire his fit body but it doesn't mean I'd like to snog him or have his cock inside my vagina.

Simple really.


by Anonymousreply 4709/04/2011

I feel the same way about women. I can admire them the way you would a great work of art or a beautiful sunset, but that doesn't mean I want to have sex with them.

by Anonymousreply 4809/04/2011

I agree that men are more naturally beautiful. I like women and yes some are gorgeous with no help at all, but a many men can roll out of bed, put on wrinkly clothes and still look great. Not so much for women.

by Anonymousreply 4909/04/2011

Lucy J, Brad Pitt is not a good example. There are a lot of gay men that find Brad Pitt sexy and admire his body but don't want to have sex with him.

by Anonymousreply 5009/04/2011

Sorry R50 but I have no idea what str8 women really see in men - or what gay men go for either ...!! (I assumed gay men like either Marys or bears and str8 women seem to go for overweight smelly men with no neck, a shaved head and that annoying habit of continually touching their family jewels).


by Anonymousreply 5109/04/2011

Fishsticks looks good without makeup - this was on another thread.%0D %0D A lot of those in the link without makeup were simply unflattering photos, though some were ordinary to begin with and needed the makeup. Some were just people getting older. True beauties do not need makeup -that person did not included them...but eventually people get old and wrinkled etc no matter what

by Anonymousreply 5209/04/2011

Like r45 said, societal standards are very different for men. Men are not expected to look 100% perfect all the time, have perfect features, perfect skin, etc. That's why men with busted and jacked up faces are - inexplicably, if you ask me - hailed as "hot" (Daniel Craig, for one, immediately comes to mind).

And when someone links to a website that deliberately chooses unflattering pictures of women to try to bolster their argument... well, it's pretty impossible to take such a point of view seriously.

Look, if one is attracted to men and not women, it's not so surprising that one may think men are more attractive. And vice versa. It's a subjective argument. Personally, I think it's silly to try to claim which sex is more attractive. I'm not claiming one is more attractive than the other, just that the standards are different, and it's disingenuous not to acknowledge that.

by Anonymousreply 5309/04/2011

So for the lesbians, did the scene in The Kids are All Right ring true (where they sometimes watched porn w/men in it) - I've heard mixed responses to that....

by Anonymousreply 5409/04/2011

R49, men are not naturally beautiful. Do you have anu idea of what the majority of adult men look like? It's not a pretty sight.

by Anonymousreply 5509/04/2011

only a handful of crazy people do that, R54

by Anonymousreply 5609/04/2011

they want a peepee in thier coochie?

by Anonymousreply 5709/04/2011

Is that guy Australian, R55?

by Anonymousreply 5809/04/2011

OP, I find most lesbians do not want anything to do with men. Either your friends are bi or they are not OUT. Or they think they are being funny.

by Anonymousreply 5909/04/2011

The whole "women are the fairer sex" is lies. Take off the makeups, fake hair, and all the other tricks, most women look like Freddy Krueger. At least with men, what you see you get.

by Anonymousreply 6009/04/2011

I love how gay men (who by definition are not attracted to women) think their opinions on female attractiveness should be taken seriously.

by Anonymousreply 6109/04/2011

We are more honest than men or dykes (who just want your pussy) or other straight women (who like to feed the female-beauty myth for their own vanity), r61.

by Anonymousreply 6209/04/2011

Yes, of course r62, you're just being "honest" and not biased at all, and the fact that you're attracted to men and not women has nothing to do with it. Thanks for clarifying.

by Anonymousreply 6309/04/2011

This is your typical female beauty in the morning.

by Anonymousreply 6409/04/2011

"But the fact is, many women are naturally attractive and don't require any artificial means at all."

If that were true, most fags would be out of a job. These guy's LIVES depend on women needing their "help."

by Anonymousreply 6509/04/2011

Lots of straight women believe that women are more beautiful than men. They are mostly referring to the curves and the fact that the genitals don't hang out. I get it, although I would probably say beautiful men are more beautiful to me, if I have to choose.

I'm very sure most straight men think women are more beautiful. There is a reason why "beauty" like "sex appeal" is pretty much treated as a female trait in mainstream culture. That reason being that mainstream culture largely represents the opinion of white, straight men, if I have to spell it out.

Judging from this thread it's the same with gay people. Men like to believe their personal preference represents the truth, while women tend to appreciate beauty beyond that.

by Anonymousreply 6609/04/2011

What happened to the slack vagina thread?

by Anonymousreply 6709/04/2011

I believe most femme lesbians are really bi

by Anonymousreply 6809/04/2011

I truly belive in bisexuality because I'm a BI woman but what the hell is with the lesbians? Taylor Lautner??? Really??? Of all men? %0D %0D I don't know how ANYONE can find him sexy, not even gay men.

by Anonymousreply 6909/04/2011

R54: That scene in The Kids Are All Right did not at all ring true for me or my partner. We don't know anyone aside from gay men who would own or even specifically care to watch gay porn, but the Writer/Director must know those who do or it likely would not have been in the film.

by Anonymousreply 7009/04/2011

[quote]I have two out lesbian friends who are always saying things like "I can't wait to see 'Twilight.' Taylor Lautner's abs are so sexy!"

[quote]Are they just fucking with my mind? Or do lesbians actually find some men attractive?

Ridiculous. The obvious answer is NO. Taylor Lautner is not a "real man." He's the closest thing to a lesbian you can get inside a man's body.

Is there a line between being attracted to masculine woman or an effeminate man? No, it's a grey area.

by Anonymousreply 7109/04/2011

Would a lesbian who thinks the statue of David is amazingly beautiful be bisexual because of it? That's nuts. Hell, you gay boys go and fall in absolute love with women over and over (Judy, Barbra, etc.), but that doesn't mean anything, right? No one said the lesbians want to fuck the men, just look at them.%0D %0D I, personally, like that Joe Mangiello or however you spell his name. He's like a statue come to life.

by Anonymousreply 7209/04/2011

I identify as lesbian(I did have sex with a couple men before I came out). I am femme and I am most attracted to femmes. We do exist, lol. There are, however, a handful of men through the years that I have found attractive/hot. I appreciate their beauty, but I don't want to have sex with them or spend my life with them...

by Anonymousreply 7309/04/2011

The guys here are so insecure. R68 is a prime example.%0D %0D THREAD CLOSED.

by Anonymousreply 7409/05/2011

I was really enjoying this thread.

by Anonymousreply 7509/05/2011

Lesbian who always appreciated a young Dennis Quaid.

End up watching "Breaking Away" everytime I come across it on TV.

by Anonymousreply 7609/05/2011

Hey Dennis Quaid lover, I saw him in that caveman flick he did when he was young. I've only known him as old, but he was really cute when young. For me, seeing an attractive guy is more the idea that I'd want to look like that guy if I was born male. Not so much the fucking. I confess to being a James Franco lover.

by Anonymousreply 7709/06/2011

I've never met a masculine gay man who hates women. It's always the nelly ones.

by Anonymousreply 7809/07/2011

ditto r78

by Anonymousreply 7909/08/2011

Many lesbians (like many women in general) claim to have a "fluid" sexuality. It's the same as a straight woman admitting to a celebrity "girl crush" or having a sapphic fling in college.

I do know lesbians who enjoy gay porn because they think the sexual energy between two men is more straightforward and fun, and less fraught with gender/sexual politics that they perceive in both straight and actual lesbian porn.

A lot of them are just bisexual to one degree or another, but identify much more strongly with lesbian identities and communities.

by Anonymousreply 8009/08/2011

LOL, r80. Some women like gay porn because it's honest made by men for men porn, NOT because of "gender/sexual politics." Porn with women -- made for men -- it a total self-satisfying fantasy.

by Anonymousreply 8109/08/2011

It's joke, morons!

You queens have no sense of humor.

by Anonymousreply 8209/08/2011

Who's genitals don't hang out?

by Anonymousreply 8309/08/2011

People lie Op.

I used to say things like that even though I didn't mean it. Looking back I realise now that it was almost like a form of internalized lesbophobia. I said it because it made me 'fit in' for a little bit.

I don't say stuff like that anymore.

by Anonymousreply 8409/08/2011

Um, that's sort of what I was saying, R81. Half of it, anyway. LOL.

But the lesbians I know also don't like lesbian porn made by actual lesbians, because it, too, is fraught with sex and gender politics. Ugly, butch, tattooed and pierced "real" lesbians are no hotter than bleached, waxed, silicone-enhanced "fake" lesbians performing for the pleasure of men.

Gay male porn is just two (or more) guys having sex FOR THE FUN OF IT. Not to please and titillate a "dominant power group" and not to demonstrate "the beauty and pleasure-worthiness of everyone on the gender spectrum"...but because sex is supposed to FUN and HOT.

by Anonymousreply 8509/09/2011

Because nobody wants to "ooooh & ahhhhh" over a vagina?

by Anonymousreply 8609/11/2011

I HATE when lesbians do this. It's so gross and show off-y.

OP, when I heard shit like that, I just respond, "Yeah, Taylor Lautner's abs ARE sexy, just like Megan Fox's tits!" That shuts them up.

by Anonymousreply 8709/11/2011

I am a feminine and nice girl who identifies as bi because i despise the male hatred in the dyke community. Many of my femme friends also identify as bi.

by Anonymousreply 8801/24/2013

I find it rather interesting from an objective point of view that the more masculine lesbians are the ones who hate men.

by Anonymousreply 8901/24/2013

Also, why are some lesbians attracted to lesbians who look and act and dress like the worst aspects of straight men? Thank God this is now changing, but still disturbing

by Anonymousreply 9001/24/2013

1.) You can find someone attractive without wanting to sleep with them. 2.) Some of these lesbians aren't lesbians. They're "functionally lesbian" but are factually bisexual. A woman more attracted to women and who finds what women offer more appealing but are technically still attracted to males (no matter if they have no interest in dating them) are still bisexual. They're just "lesbian" for all intents and purposes.

by Anonymousreply 9101/24/2013

Let me clarify my last post. I mean they aren't lesbians, actually. Not that being essentially something makes you that.

by Anonymousreply 9201/24/2013

I guess me and my feminine friends fall in that category r91

by Anonymousreply 9301/24/2013

Okay, I think it's obvious that your friends are either just joking around, or they are not lesbians, they are most likely bisexuals but they identify as lesbians because it might be easier to label themselves that way. Especially with the whole stigma of "you can only be one or the other!" type of pressure that people go through. And to the other person who said that they think femme lesbians are really bi. Where the heck did you get that idea? ANYONE can be homosexual. It doesn't matter what the heck you look like, or how you act. Femme females can be gay, many of them are. And no, they are not bisexuals. They really are gay. No attraction to the opposite gender/sex at all. And the other person quoting from Lisa Diamond's so-called "study"; you can't really trust that, because that study, (including most studies that are usually done) are mostly done in ONE area, and do not represent the entire human population. So most studies done should never be completely taken at their word. (unless in cases where certain studies were actually done ALL over, but even that could be difficult). So no, not buying her "studies". Or other people here, saying that men are more "naturally good-looking". Come on really? Lot's of women don't wear makeup or do stuff with their hair, and lot's of women are naturally pretty without any of that stuff. Anyone can be naturally good-looking. Sorry but this thread has gotten a bit silly.

by Anonymousreply 9402/09/2013

LOTS, no apostrophe!

by Anonymousreply 9502/09/2013

Well, actually I have heard some gay men say things like this about women. I have one gay male friend who says things like he thinks Cameron Diaz is sexy, or that she has "such a sexy body!" So it's not just some gay chicks who do that, some gay guys do that too. And really, what makes you think your lesbian friends are sexually attracted to Lautner? All they said was that they find his abs sexy. However that obviously doesn't mean they want to have sex with him or anything. And of course they are not sexually attracted to him, or any man. That just means that they appreciate the beauty in males. Just like how gay men can appreciate the beauty in females. And if you are confused about your lesbian friends words then why the hell didn't you just ASK them yourself? And maybe your lesbian friends are the only ones, what makes you think other lesbians would say things like that? Only SOME of them would, not lot's. Just like some gay men would.

And to the other person quoting Lisa Diamond that's actually kind of crap, or the other person saying that femmes are bisexuals. Uh, no, many of them REALLY are gay. And come on, just as many women can have a great natural beauty like men. What makes people think these women were femmes anyway?

by Anonymousreply 9603/31/2013


by Anonymousreply 9705/04/2013

Even though I love the ladies, if a man has his shirt off, I just have to look.

I have a thing for a strong back, chest, and arms. Just beautiful to look at!

Extra satisfaction if they're a little hot and sweaty.

by Anonymousreply 9805/04/2013

I will stop on reruns of white collar just to look at Matt Bomer he is so captivating but don't stay to watch long.

As a young teen I would google photos of JFK Jr for the same reason. Never went as deep as wanting to have sex with them. Just appreciating their beauty. There are also cases of women who are just as captivating (Grace Kelly) but my interest in them remain shallow ... awe of beauty but not escalating to wanting to sleep with them.

I guess the interest was best described earlier as similar to admiring the statue David

by Anonymousreply 9905/04/2013

Okay dude(or dudette). First of all if you really wanted to know about this so-called "phenomenom" (which it's not, since it doesn't even exist) then why didn't you just ask them. Why do you have to come on here asking complete strangers? Second of all, it's actually quite stupid of you to make sweeping generalizations about gay women and wondering if they are "all like that", just because a COUPLE of your friends did that. That's really ignorant of you. You had it right with the title when you said "some", but with your other sentence, "do other lesbians?......." Oh come on. Just because only TWO of your friends said that, please don't assume that every other lesbian would be like that. Now, I have actually experienced it the OTHER way around. I only hear gay chicks talk about the good-looks of a man but never in a sexual way. Whereas I have infact heard a few gay men talk about certain women in a sexualized way. So it can happen. Although, I'm sure if you asked your friends what they thought about dating him, or having sex with him, they would probably say, "hell no!" or "that's gross, no way!" So you can actually appreciate certain aspects of a person's body without being sexually attracted to them. Those girls were most likely just admiring his abs, and sure they thought they were "sexy". But does that mean they are turned on by him as a whole? No it doesn't. Like how some gay men (at least the ones I know) think female breasts are "sexy" but does that mean they want the whole package? Again, no it doesn't. So really, don't assume that the actions of a FEW certain members of a group, reflect on them as a whole.

by Anonymousreply 10005/30/2013

Most women are bi, so they can be attracted to men. Is that so bad? Jesus!

by Anonymousreply 10105/31/2013

It seems many women say they're "bi" but are actually straight.

by Anonymousreply 10205/31/2013

Penis Envy

by Anonymousreply 10305/31/2013

R102, i wouldn't use the word straight for anyone. Feelings are a complicated matter, so is attraction...

Well, most women end up with men, because it's more convenient and more safe in society. That doesn't mean that they are exclusively straight. It's all about compromise and and a need to make a nest.

by Anonymousreply 10405/31/2013

i can aprechiate beauty when i see it - without interest in having sex. i like the way a fit male body looks, and men can be incredibly handsome - but i wouldn't wanna date them.

sometimes saying someone is hot is nothing but that - he's hot, full stop.

by Anonymousreply 10505/31/2013

Yikes there is a lot of BS flying around on this thread. Whew.

I think the answer here is that male and female sexuality, take away the primary target same or opposite sex, is very different. Straight women and gay women have much more in common that say gay women and straight men in terms of the nature of their sexuality.

Men are visceral, visual, easily aroused.

I would suggest that in both all cases you are in terms of being hetero- homo- or bi- sexual what makes you orgasm. If both sexes can make your orgasm more or less equally, then you are bi, etc.

That said, between the two sexes, women seem to be more frequently bisexual. Perhaps that is because of the larger role their mind and emotions play in sex. I have no idea.

The other phenomenon I find perplexing is that of lesbians watching male gay porn. How that works I have no idea. I do not know of any gay men, nor have I heard of any gay men, being turned on by lesbian porn.

To a certain extent women remain much more of a mystery to me than men. Luckily it is men and only men I am sexually attracted to, so perhaps it is more simple.

by Anonymousreply 10605/31/2013

Because gay male porn doesnt involve a woman being degraded, treated like dirt just to service a guy. Dont you realize how repulsive straight porn is to the eyes of a lesbian whose sexuality revolves around pleasing and loving women? And BOTH people have an orgasm in gay male porn. Do you think lesbians would watch gay porn if real lesbian porn existed and was as readily available? Come on use your brain. Lesbians like gay porn because its harmless.

by Anonymousreply 10705/31/2013

Also, Taylor Lautner, Bieber and co? Beautiful. They could be mistaken for lesbians, of course lesbians will ship them.

by Anonymousreply 10805/31/2013

Oh please 107- lesbian porn does exist. And on what planet is male gay porn about "pleasing and loving". It's about sex honey, sex. Some porn of all types does try to communicate romance etc., but not more so in any one category- and it is usually pretty cheesy to the point of comedy. I think you need to use your brain! Love the idea that you think lesbians watch gay male porn because it is so loving etc. Ha!

by Anonymousreply 10905/31/2013

An interest in Taylor Lautner's abs could be no more or less sexual than an interest in Grace Kelly's face. Of course this might be difficult to believe for a gay man, but that doesn't make it less true.

But perhaps the interest in Lautner's abs by certain lesbians is sexual. I know many lesbians who are into gay porn. I think the short answer is that sexuality is much more interesting and far less obvious than we are conditioned to believe in our present culture. I'm a gay man. I'm usually not into lesbian sex in porn but there are those rare exceptions. In addition, I know that some lesbians have politically inspired inhibitions to watching other women in porn (for the purposes of this discussion, whether they should or shouldn't is immaterial), and a sense that men in porn are not subject to the same kind of economic and sexual exploitation as women in porn are (again, let's leave aside any debate about whether or not this is completely true), and so can enjoy gay porn without the same trepidation and guilt that they experience watching women in porn.

Sexual arousal is far more interesting, complex and less predictable than a great many people on DL realize. Many people think that because their sexual interests happen to fall into conventionally gay or straight lines, that that applies to everyone. But think about it? A look at any one thread on DL, shows the variety of views on any particular man or act's sexual appeal. Everyone is different. This sense of conformity, even conformity into a finite number of sexual communities, each with their own clear mania, is a myth foisted on us by social conventions and the need to brand what's desirable and enviable. This way of looking at things makes us all spend money trying to be what's posited as hot, and gives some of us a sense of community at worshipping at the same sexual altars.

by Anonymousreply 11005/31/2013

Learn how to read r109. Ive never said gay porn was loving, you completely missed the point and i'm ready to assume it happens to you a lot.

by Anonymousreply 11105/31/2013

Rosie did this with Tom Cruise. It is all just to throw you off, especially if you're an attractive woman who they secretly hope to bed.

by Anonymousreply 11205/31/2013

I don't know. It doesn't seem that different to gay men being obsessed with Hollywood divas. So many threads on here are about them.

A different slant to it though. I don't know if they actually want to fuck Taylor Lautner or are just envious of how good he looks.

by Anonymousreply 11305/31/2013

Well, either those chicks were just messing with you, or they are actually bisexual, but they identify as gay because many bi people actually do that. A lot of them grew up in an environment that told them that you can only be "one or the other" but you can't like both. So they choose a side, since they don't know any better. OR, they do think his "abs are sexy", but does that mean they are in any way turned on by HIM? No it doesn't. They just like his abs, nothing wrong with that. And to the other people saying that "men are naturally more beautiful than women", where the hell did that crap come from? There are TONS of women who ARE naturally beautiful, and don't wear makeup and they still look great. And there are plenty of women who automatically look great from the moment they wake up, and they don't have to do anything. They already look, smell, etc. completely radiant. And then there are lot's of men who wake up, and they look like crap. And they actually do have to take time in the bathroom to fix their face and hair and body in order to look, smell, etc, presentable. Yes, there are plenty of naturally good-looking men in the world, but so are just as many females. Anyone can look awful when they wake up, and anyone can look radiant when they get up. No matter the person.

by Anonymousreply 11406/28/2013

[post by racist shit-stain #3 removed.]

by Anonymousreply 11506/28/2013

What r98 said.

Beauty is beauty.

by Anonymousreply 11606/28/2013

I'm a feminine bi girl and what I don't get is.. why do some lesbians have terrible taste in men to gush over? Tom Cruise? Taylor Lautner? Bieber? Sounds like fat hausfraus from middle America.

I'd rather want a well-dressed handsome "man", like Clooney.

by Anonymousreply 11706/28/2013

[post by racist shit-stain #3 removed.]

by Anonymousreply 11806/28/2013

Most lesbians I know express an interest in men, and a large percentage of them end up marrying men. The most radical lesbian I know ended up married to man and having five children.

by Anonymousreply 11906/29/2013

You don't know many people, R119.

by Anonymousreply 12006/29/2013

"Because gay male porn doesnt involve a woman being degraded, treated like dirt just to service a guy. Dont you realize how repulsive straight porn is to the eyes of a lesbian"

Straight porn a pain in the ass for straight women too.

by Anonymousreply 12106/29/2013

I think that some lesbians like to say that stuff to show how cool and "sex positive" they are. I don't know if it really means they are bisexual.

I am a real bisexual female and part of what I think makes me truly bi sexual is that I'm usually not attracted to people on a pure physical level like that: like I wouldn't look at a body part on either gender and get all lusty over it. I do like pretty eyes on either gender and a good sense of style but it's more about a person's brains and way of walking through the world that makes me want to sleep with them.

I know everyone is different, but I just think that the fact that I'm not drawn towards specific body parts is what allows me to fall in love with either gender. I think there is a real misconception of what being bisexual means to most people. Being bisexual is often a very different way of experiencing sexuality. Not better, just different.

by Anonymousreply 12206/29/2013

I am a bit like you r122

by Anonymousreply 12306/29/2013

the truth is most lesbian AND bi women unless they are physically repulsive and obese don't stay that way for very long. same-sex coupling in women is usually a political statement as opposed to an honest expression of sexuality. sometimes if they are really politically motivated and attached to their identities "gay" and "bi" women keep up the charade but most come to their senses early in life.

by Anonymousreply 12406/29/2013

Oh, please. People have always said, "I'd go straight (or gay) for so-and-so."

Get some friends, OP.

by Anonymousreply 12506/29/2013

I'm gay for Jamie

by Anonymousreply 12606/29/2013

Maybe I am gay... for that little peach.

by Anonymousreply 12706/29/2013

R124, time to renew the meds.

by Anonymousreply 12806/29/2013

There is an intersection of two social pressures.

Part of being accepted as feminine is to give compliments to everyone and everything. Part of being accepted by straight people is to appear to be like them, they are more comfortable hearing fake heterosexual desire.

I think these behaviors are incompatible with being out and proud.

It is harmful when we say things like that in public. A lesbian would not usually declare to a straight crowd that she hopes to see Michelle Rodriguez's abs, because it makes things awkward. Straight people would rather have you temporarily jump back the closet to say or do something they can agree with, so that's what many gay people do. Hence we have rampant gay men and lesbians paying fake compliments to heterosexual ideals.

by Anonymousreply 12906/29/2013

R124, I think I heard your grandchildren looking for you, maybe you should leave Datalounge before they start to worry.

by Anonymousreply 13006/29/2013

[quote]Because gay male porn doesnt involve a woman being degraded, treated like dirt just to service a guy. Dont you realize how repulsive straight porn is to the eyes of a lesbian

No, I don't buy it. I think a lot of lesbians just hate straight men and are envious of them. Straight porn reminds them of what they can't have. Not saying straight porn isn't degrading but all porn is. Gay male porn can be pretty degrading too, but if it's a man being degraded it doesn't bother them. Besides there is lesbian porn out there, but apparently it's so boring, lesbians don't even want to watch it.

by Anonymousreply 13106/29/2013

My feeling is that a lot of "Lesbians" are not as Lesbian as they claim to be based on their behavior of gushing over men and even marrying them. My guess is they were disappointed by men and CHOSE to look elsewhere for affection. Not that I blame them because men can be pretty disappointing but they are still attracted to men. And we have probably all seen the young women who act out with other women in front of men just to get them interested.

Okay, go ahead and hate me.

by Anonymousreply 13206/29/2013

R132, I don't hate you, I just think youre a kid with limited life experience. Or perhaps a senior with dementia. Could be you're just the average ignorant DL gay.

by Anonymousreply 13306/29/2013

[post by racist shit-stain #3 removed.]

by Anonymousreply 13406/29/2013

Pssst, oh brilliant one, there's an apostrophe in "youre," and "Or perhaps a senior with dementia" is not a sentence. So who is the ignorant one?

by Anonymousreply 13506/29/2013

There are very few real Lesbos out there, most are fish (str8 females) pretending to be Lesbos because they have not been able to capture a man and force him to be their lifetime mealticket.

As soon as they get such a man, they are gone from lesbo life.

So many diesels fall in love with these fish only to have their hearts broken later.

by Anonymousreply 13606/29/2013

[post by racist shit-stain #3 removed.]

by Anonymousreply 13706/29/2013

[post by racist shit-stain #3 removed.]

by Anonymousreply 13806/29/2013

[post by racist shit-stain #3 removed.]

by Anonymousreply 13906/29/2013

R135, soooo clever. You prove my point.

by Anonymousreply 14006/29/2013

OP, are you unaware how much energy is spent by gay men talking about who the most gorgeous women in Hollywood are and which actresses they find fugly?

If not, please tune into to DL anytime.

by Anonymousreply 14106/29/2013

[post by racist shit-stain #3 removed.]

by Anonymousreply 14207/03/2013

r16 is NOT bisexual unless she has actually ENGAGED IN SEX with a dude and wants to again.

Most everybody can occasionally imagine pleasurable sex with a high-grade specimen of either gender, but they do not act on it and aren't up for it.

P.S. Female sexuality is MUCH more fluid and flexible than males.'

Northwestern University did one study which found that 43% of women were MORE AROUSED by porn featuring couplings opposite their own orientation than porn featuring what they usually do and want.

So don't ostracize some lesbian just because a Ryan Gosling movie made her wet.

She didn't fuck him or any guy.

by Anonymousreply 14307/03/2013

Gay people appreciate beauty, art, have great taste, and some sense of style (even if its diesel).

Therefore, it is not surprising to find gay men slobbering over a charming woman or a lesbian frothing over a handsome man. It's the beauty of it all, the art form.

Extremely good-looking people are so rare that chancing upon a real hottie for a gay person is like finding an untapped gold vein.

by Anonymousreply 14407/03/2013

[post by racist shit-stain #3 removed.]

by Anonymousreply 14507/03/2013

r129 is a political terrorist and fascist.

He or she thinks you can't be "out and proud" if you identify beauty in the opposite gender. What an ass!

Are we either "with you or against you?" Who are you, George W. Bush?

r129 probably believes you can't be gay if you have an attraction to the opposite sex once in a while, either. Did you notice r129 didn't list "genuine, rare attraction" as a possible motive for lesbian Taylor Lautner lauders?

He or she only believes that social conformity is the motive.

Then r129 goes into a chilling diatribe about how you can't say anything in front of straight people unless it conforms to what he or she wants them to think about lesbians.

Sorry, honey. You don't get to control people's thought and speech. You don't control reality, either. The belief that you can is actually on the road to Evil City Central.

r129 is also reacting to a scenario DIFFERENT than what the OP described.

If r129 assumes the OP is a straight person, then only do we have the scenario where lesbians are saying things to straight people that he or she rathers they not.

But to assume is folly. OP said this was a conversation between the OP and two lesbian friends, not "a straight crowd in public."

In all likelihood, these were three lesbians talking amongst themselves, not lesbians betraying their own kind to straight people.

I think there's no hiding the truth about any class of people and that fact that most humans can identify beauty in both genders -- or even experience attractions outside their usual orientations -- shouldn't and won't affect gay credibility, equal rights or dignity.

Truth and nature are more diverse and complicated than political expediency.

The last thing we need is thought and speech control, fact denial and political persecution from the Al Gayda Terrorist Network.

by Anonymousreply 14607/03/2013

I have no idea what you're talking about, OP.

by Anonymousreply 14707/03/2013
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