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Married men on Manhunt, A4A, Craigslist, etc

WTF is it with guys hitting me up on sex sites who go out of their way to tell me they're married? Is that supposed to make me want you more or something?? I don't get it! To me it's creepy and--as someone who's been cheated on in a relationship before--really low! I would never hook up with a married guy. But they always seem to use the "married" thing like it's supposed to be a selling point for hooking up with them. Can anyone shed some light on this, cause I'm not getting it!

by Anonymousreply 9803/25/2013

It grosses me out when guys try to use it as a selling point. If I'm bored, I'll start a dialogue with them as if I'm interested then start asking pointed questions about his wife, how long they've been married, her personality, how she'd feel if she found out, etc.

by Anonymousreply 107/29/2011

"Married" is code for "primarily straight, discreet, butch like you boys like it (as if that's what they actually turn out to be), and not looking for a relationship but just a hook-up." But don't worry, OP. No one is going to miss out on any contacts because of your ethical scruples. And of course you DO know how inexpensive pretend wedding rings are, and exactly how honest posts on these sites are, don't you?

by Anonymousreply 207/29/2011

I immediately block them

by Anonymousreply 407/29/2011

OP - a whore with morals.

by Anonymousreply 507/29/2011

I've met two guys - both gay - who post as "straight" online because they say they get hotter guys that way and also get way more responses.%0D %0D I think that's sad.

by Anonymousreply 607/29/2011

I love gay married men. They get horny too. %0D %0D On the other hand--and in all their bravado, they are filled with closeted paranoia and are trapped in a life they feel they must accept for whatever reason. Lots of issues there--especially in this day and age when no gay man should be marrying a woman--nor should they ever have.

by Anonymousreply 707/29/2011

Doesn't work for me at all. I don't want dick that's been inside a vagina probably only two nights before. No matter how many times you wash it, it's contaminated.

by Anonymousreply 807/29/2011

This is not going to end well.

by Anonymousreply 907/29/2011


Why do gay men refer to sex as "play" (i.e. "We only play together", "Looking for safe play").

There's something very Fremdsch%C3%A4men* about it.

*Fremdsch%C3%A4men,%C2%A0as a%C2%A0noun,%C2%A0describes the palpable horror you feel for somebody that is oblivious to how embarrassing they truly are. In order for it to exist, it requires that someone who should feel embarrassed for themselves simply doesn't, creating that terribly uncomfortable feeling for the rest of us to endure, unless of course, you are the doer of the%C2%A0fremdsch%C3%A4men%C2%A0and then, by definition, you haven't a clue.

by Anonymousreply 1107/29/2011

Fremdsch%C3%A4men A German term which describes the process of being vicariously embarrassed by someone else.

by Anonymousreply 1207/29/2011

I agree [6]. It's like a woman on a lesbian site saying that she is bisexual. I don't have any prob with ppl being bisexual but why post under the gay listings? It's just weird.

by Anonymousreply 1407/29/2011

I also like "the girlfriends away", that one is really popular these days. Ok so #1, you probably don't have a girlfriend because you're gay and #2, girlfriends don't go away.

by Anonymousreply 1507/29/2011

married men are hot

by Anonymousreply 1607/29/2011

I know I prefer married men.

by Anonymousreply 1707/29/2011

I like the guys who say they're straight or bi but are clearly gay. Who do they think they're fooling?

by Anonymousreply 1807/29/2011

R12, the word you seek is "Fremdscham"

by Anonymousreply 1907/29/2011

[quote]#2, girlfriends don't go away.

Of course they do R15. They have imaginary jobs and imaginary families and all sorts of things that can require their attention.

Plus, they know the pouf at home can finally get some dick and be easier to live with for awhile.

And thank you R11 & R12. Finally a word to describe a feeling I frequently experience on DL.

by Anonymousreply 2007/29/2011

One of my best friends is an escort, and he's always telling me about all these married men who hire him. I don't get how he sleeps at night, personally. It's one thing to unknowingly sleep with someone who's married, but to sleep with a guy who you know has a wife and possibly kids at home, that's just sick. Sorry but it is. My friend rationalizes it as, "Well if he's not doing it with me, he'll be doing it with someone else" and that it's better for a married man to just hire an escort for an hour and get it out of his system rather than start an actual relationship behind his wife's back.

by Anonymousreply 2107/30/2011

Sorry. A man having sex with a man technically isn't breaking his wedding vows. It's not like he's fucking a woman, which would be truly adulterous, and not such a big deal, either, if the marriage is sound and understanding about such things like mature relationships ought to be.

Having sex with a man when you're married is just a sport activity for a man, like a rubdown or a sauna with the guys.

You people have too many scruples. Puritan Americans. You're all obsessed with sex and then you make it dirty and feel bad about it. Silly.

by Anonymousreply 2207/30/2011

R21, your friend is a whore, darlin.

by Anonymousreply 2307/30/2011

R22 Oh okay. Ask the guy's wife then and see how she feels about it!

by Anonymousreply 2407/30/2011

R21, your friend is right, and you're a prissy little judgemental ass.%0D

by Anonymousreply 2507/30/2011

I can't believe there are still people so deluded as to think monogamy is even remotely common in reality.%0D

by Anonymousreply 2607/30/2011

R25 You're right, sorry I have some semblance of a moral compass.

by Anonymousreply 2707/30/2011

R27, you have no idea if they have an open relationship, or what their rules are. Why is the married guys' choices your FRIEND'S problem?%0D %0D

by Anonymousreply 2807/30/2011

It's Fremdschaemen.

Looks like Americans have discovered a new German word to throw around (after the tiresome "Zeitgeist," "Schadenfreude" and "Aha-Erlebnis".)

by Anonymousreply 2907/30/2011

[quote]I can't believe there are still people so deluded as to think monogamy is even remotely common in reality.

Among the straights, it is. Well, at least from the wife's perspective.

by Anonymousreply 3007/30/2011

It's all fun and games until the wife drives the minivan full of kids the wrong way on the freeway.

by Anonymousreply 3107/30/2011

No need to use some awkward German word. The current accepted phrase in English is, "second hand embarrassment."

by Anonymousreply 3207/30/2011

I'm telling everyone 'Fremdschaemen' is a neologism.

by Anonymousreply 3307/30/2011

R22, if they have an open marriage then ok. If they don't then of course it is cheating. What does the sex of the partner have to do with it? The wife may enjoy sex with different men just like the husband. I really don't understand the distinction.

by Anonymousreply 3407/30/2011

[quote]I've met two guys - both gay - who post as "straight" online because they say they get hotter guys that way and also get way more responses.

Sad indeed. Hey, I like the occasional opportunity to "turn out" or suck-off a bi or closeted or curious-whatever guy, but the sex is no better, and often just plain bad. But it is hot to eat and prod a hole that hasn't been fucked or fucked in a very long time, "straight" or gay.

It's some sort of twisted fantasy fetish. Plus for whatever reason I think people figure a "straight" or married guy has LESS of a chance of having an STD. Fucked in the head logic.

by Anonymousreply 3607/30/2011

I don't want to have sex with someone who's been with dozens of people. I respect my body too much for that. If you're on a sex site, you have a sexual addiction. You're playing Russian Roulette with your health.

by Anonymousreply 3707/30/2011

R36, there's probably a BIT more to it than that. The guy advertising "straight" is pretty much advertising that he's not really interested in reciprocation. And for a guy who's just looking to suck off a cock and go, with no strings, no reciprocation, no complications, the "straight" thing tells him he can get what he wants.%0D %0D So there's that aspect to it as well.%0D %0D

by Anonymousreply 3807/30/2011

r22 you sound like a closeted catholic priest i knew who said 'technically' he wasn't breaking his vow of celibacy by having sex with guys because it wasn't really 'intercourse'.

Unless the wife knows, it's cheating and a betrayal. And you know that.

Ever been cheated on?

by Anonymousreply 3907/30/2011

Certain Morrissey fans seem to be very much in denial about his sexuality:

by Anonymousreply 4007/30/2011

[quote]Of course, when Mother Church created those vows, most people didn't live beyond 40 so they only had to deal with two decades of blessed bliss.

The institution of marriage has only been around a few hundred years, not since the days of Christ.

by Anonymousreply 4107/30/2011

To clarify: marriage as it's generally performed today in the Christian church, with a priest, vows, rings, etc.

by Anonymousreply 4207/30/2011

The judgemental twat that is R21/27 claims to have moral compass but maintains a friendship - "one of my best friends" - with an escort.

by Anonymousreply 4307/30/2011

I wonder if guys describe themselves as straight and married because it makes them seem more unattainable, in other words, a guy who hasn't been fucked 1000 times. It might imply that the guy is free of any nasty sexual diseases. Hell, I see straight married guys at the mall that I'd suck off or fuck the moment they asked because there are some very hot looking straight guys. %0D %0D You really don't know the state or private conditions of a marriage. I know this couple that "swings" - goes to sex parties with other straight couples and then the orgy begins.

by Anonymousreply 4407/30/2011

What I think is sad is that you could click on M4W, W4M even W4W, and the ad's are a nice balance. Some kinky stuff, some looking for a relationship. %0D %0D You click on M4M and ninety eight percent of it is "Cum pig waiting for his next meal." and "This hole's for you." And cock and asshole shots galore. If I've seen five ad's with men looking for friends or relationships this past year, I'd be shocked.%0D %0D I'm all for dirty play, but it's depressing that a lot of gay men are so obsessed with it.

by Anonymousreply 4507/30/2011

R45, you make a great point.%0D %0D I haven't checked out the m4w ads in awhile (sometimes I like to look to see some masculine shots, flame away, but they're there.)%0D %0D But it's true. The m4m ads are all about fuck me now; come on over; I'm blindfolded and on all fours; bring your buds!%0D %0D

by Anonymousreply 4607/30/2011

I don't mess with married men--I have no desire to be part of someone's deception and misery.

by Anonymousreply 4707/30/2011

R43 What, I can't be friends with someone and disagree with some of the things they do? You're an idiot.

by Anonymousreply 4807/31/2011

Speaking of CL, I was surprised when it asked me for my phone number before it accepted my post. I think in the US that is regular, but here in Canada, we've never had to do that. The next time I tried to post, it didn't ask me for a phone number. Is there anyway around them asking for my personal phone number?

by Anonymousreply 4908/25/2011

If YOU are on this website reading this, you are already far into the grey zone of morality yourself.

by Anonymousreply 5008/25/2011

Darling, you don't want to hook up with married guys, right. Then you should be happy they tell you up front they are married, which might very well be the reason they do.


by Anonymousreply 5108/25/2011

There's a married Puerto Rican guy with a beautiful, thick, 8-inch cock on the next street over from me who I've talked with on A4A a couple times who really wants to come over but I always tell him no. Not that I don't want to -- the guy is fucking hot -- but I just don't want to fuck a married man. Not a prude or anything, it's just not my scene. Too bad though because like I said, he is hot.

by Anonymousreply 5208/28/2011

IIRC I can't take this meme. Meh. ROTFLMAO.

by Anonymousreply 5308/28/2011

I love playing with married men. Nothing hotter than a shiny wedding ring on a hand stroking a big fat hairy dick.

by Anonymousreply 5408/29/2011

Right on [54], I agree. Married guys are some of the hottest fucks. Fun how fast you can get them off.

by Anonymousreply 5508/29/2011

[quote]The m4m ads are all about fuck me now; come on over; I'm blindfolded and on all fours; bring your buds

Because most women won't respond to that, so straight men looking for women have to curb it. Try a real hookup site, like adultfriendfinder, to see how dirty straight men AND women can get.

by Anonymousreply 5708/29/2011

[quote]Try a real hookup site, like adultfriendfinder, to see how dirty straight men AND women can get.

I was super-horny a few weeks ago and registered on Lavalife, in the "discreet encounters" section.

Even after posting that all I wanted was to be eaten out and then fucked to within an inch of my life, I *still* had guys giving me the usual "romantic" bullshit: they like long walks on the beach, they think candlelit dinners are awesome, they believe in taking it slow, blah blah blah. Sooo pathetic; dude, I'm asking for it, you can be honest!

Btw, in case anyone's curious about how it goes for the str8 folk, I got a few dozen responses within a half-hour of posting my ad.

by Anonymousreply 5808/30/2011

I find it curiously homophobic that so many men find it perfectly fine - or at least forgivable - that so many gay men on manhunt, etc., are there outside the bounds of their "established" gay relationships, but feel quite differently when it comes to men who are married, whether or not their marriages allow for their extracurricular activities.

WTF is the difference?

by Anonymousreply 5909/03/2011

Some gay men love fucking married men as a way to act out their hostility towards women. Silly, really.

by Anonymousreply 6009/03/2011

Nail on the head, R60.

by Anonymousreply 6109/03/2011

r59, all male relationships seem to have an implicit understanding that sex outside the relationship will occur. This isn't usually the case with bi married men, no matter what they tell you about how understanding the wife may be.

by Anonymousreply 6209/03/2011

[quote]It's some sort of twisted fantasy fetish. Plus for whatever reason I think people figure a "straight" or married guy has LESS of a chance of having an STD. Fucked in the head logic.

It's a "twisted fantasy fetish." Look at what R54 wrote. And stop being such a puritan, by the way. All fantasies are "twisted," and so are fetishes. Show me the person who doesn't have any "fantasy fetishes," and I'll show you a boring jerk who never gets laid.

Now, back to the married guys on CL. There are just as many gays advertising for them as there are guys claiming to be (and sometimes really being) married.

To the extent that it's a "twisted fantasy fetish" (ooh, yeah buddy boy, twist it!) it's a matter of playing it in a more distant way, in a "mainstream masculine" (aka "straight acting") style.

I've got a wedding ring that I bought at a pawnshop. I've used it a couple times when responding to the ads looking for a married guy. I can pull it off. One guy was so crazy for it that, in the heat of it all, he told me "I love the taste of straight dick."

Ya had to be there. Either he wasn't kidding, or he deserves the amateur theatre Ocsar for best actor in a 7-1/2 inch production. Look, it's sex. And yeah, it's even a "twisted fantasy fetish." I say this: As long as the parties agree, and no one winds up in the emergency room or the psych ward, it's all good.

Oh, and R21, I'd hate to be you.

by Anonymousreply 6309/03/2011

I have a twisted tittie fetish

by Anonymousreply 6409/03/2011

[quote]all male relationships seem to have an implicit understanding that sex outside the relationship will occur.

Except of course the ones that don't.

Your post takes the dumber than dirt award of the decade.

by Anonymousreply 6509/03/2011

Married cock is usually the only way to get a masculine guy without plucked eyebrows, duck lips and a girly moan to rival Ginger Lynn's.

by Anonymousreply 6609/06/2011

R66, I assume then you must be a married man, either that or your exactly the sort of peson you appear to despise so your a cheater or a self hater. Either way sucks to be you.

by Anonymousreply 6709/06/2011

A few of my biggest pet peeves when surfing MH/A4A:%0D %0D * Cute guys who look at your profile just about every single day (you know because they constantly show up in your track list) but never say anything to you, and when you decide to take the first step and say hello to them, they don't answer (but continue looking at your profile).%0D %0D * Guys who send you a hello, you send a hello back, and then you don't hear from them again. WTF?%0D %0D * Guys who say in their profiles that you "must have your pics open when you message me or be deleted," yet they don't have ANY pics at all posted on their own profiles. Can you say nerve?

by Anonymousreply 6809/06/2011

I think this guy is married.

by Anonymousreply 6911/15/2011

R14 way to be totally biphobic, there's nothing wrong with a bisexual man or woman posting under the f2f or m2m section, since they're bisexual.

by Anonymousreply 7011/15/2011

the last time I had the clapp, I hooked up with six married guys just to give it to them so they would give it to their wives. I did it once when I had the crabs, too.

by Anonymousreply 7111/15/2011

OP, them telling you they are married is exactly the reason they want you to think they are hot.

I read, probably even here, who said, putting "married" or "straight" in your bio floods your inbox as opposed to gay, which promotes very little reponse.

Isn't that pathetic?

by Anonymousreply 7211/15/2011

Plus if they are "married" they conveniently won't be able to host at their place..

by Anonymousreply 7311/15/2011

[quote]all male relationships seem to have an implicit understanding that sex outside the relationship will occur. This isn't usually the case with bi married men, no matter what they tell you about how understanding the wife may be.

Not true. I know a lot of bisexual and gay men who are partnered to each other who are in completely monogamous relationships since that's what they both want. They don't have anything against open relationships but they're not into them and they don't cheat on each other.

There are also a lot of bisexual men and women who are partnered to men and women who are in open relationships where yes their spouse or partner does know that they're going off and having sex with other people, and even the spouse or partner will do this but this is what both people have agreed upon when having an open relationship.

by Anonymousreply 7411/15/2011

[quote]There are also a lot of bisexual men and women who are partnered to men and women who are in open relationships where yes their spouse or partner does know that they're going off and having sex with other people

That is such bullshit. The sort of comment made by people completely talking out of their ass, in a ridiculous attempt to sound hip and 'in the know' and smarter than everyone else.

No, there aren't lots of women out there who are perfectly content with their boyfriends and husbands cruising for sex with other men. Pretty much every woman in this situation would be devestated by the news. As for the situation of a male-male couple where one of them is out pussy hunting... gimme a fucking break.

But, yeah, this all sounds like a great premise for an indie movie.

by Anonymousreply 7511/15/2011

I don't hear a lot about guys asking other guys if they can hook-up with other women from time-to-time. I often hear guys asking to hook-up with other guys...a lot actually.

by Anonymousreply 7611/15/2011

I'm talking about bisexual guys.

by Anonymousreply 7711/15/2011

It's always the "married" guys who have the most attitude if you turn them down. It's like they are confounded that anyone would pass on the chance at their "married" cock.

by Anonymousreply 7811/15/2011

most of the "married" men are DL poz guys looking to not host or show a face. I learned the hard way...

by Anonymousreply 7907/01/2012

[quote]I've met two guys - both gay - who post as "straight" online because they say they get hotter guys that way and also get way more responses.

There's nothing sadder than a hot guy who limp wrist and minces around.

Think Matthew Rush and Chris Steele. Both hot masculine men till they open their mouths.

by Anonymousreply 8007/04/2012

Close your legs to married men

by Anonymousreply 8107/04/2012

And I'm guessing either one of the guys mentioned in R80's post could kick his ass with both hands tied behind their back.

Why is that?

by Anonymousreply 8207/04/2012

married men are hot!

by Anonymousreply 8307/04/2012

[post by racist shit-stain removed.]

by Anonymousreply 8407/04/2012

There's a "married" guy who always broadcasts on cam4. Funny thing is, he's on there at ALL hours of the day and night, and no wife ever seems to be home! His bedroom is incredibly masculine...there's no way a woman had any part in decorating it. And to top it all off, one day while he was broadcasting (in a tiny little sheer thong...I'm so sure his wife wouldn't wonder about that), you could hear a man's deep voice coughing in the other room. Fuckin' liar!!!! I always call him out on his shit in front of his viewers.

by Anonymousreply 8507/04/2012

[post by racist shit-stain removed.]

by Anonymousreply 8607/04/2012

[post by racist shit-stain removed.]

by Anonymousreply 8707/04/2012

R86 All it does is make him look like a fool. I LOL at him.

by Anonymousreply 8807/04/2012

[post by racist shit-stain removed.]

by Anonymousreply 8907/04/2012

[post by racist shit-stain removed.]

by Anonymousreply 9007/04/2012

A man with a wedding ring is a big turn on to certain women. A married woman is a big turn on to certain men. The same can be true in a same sex liaison or flirtation.

by Anonymousreply 9207/05/2012

I've posted this before, but my best hookup ever was with a str8 identified married guy. He was in NYC on a biz trip and I meth him on a Fri night at the Eagle. I was immediately drawn to him because he had that ease of masculinity that comes so very natural to str8 guys. He didn't need to try so fucking hard, like most gay men tend to do. You ladies know what I mean :)

We spent a glorious weekend together fucking in his hotel room. Very handsome guy, big fat dick. He was a sweet guy who spoke lovingly of the wifey back home. I look at it this way...he was going to fuck someone that weekend. Better that it was my clean, understanding hole than some garden variety whore's. I still JO thinking about him, though that experience was five years ago. I like str8 & str8-identified guys. I can't help the way I feel or who I'm attracted to.

by Anonymousreply 9407/05/2012

r60 is right.

by Anonymousreply 9507/05/2012

its simple.

have a repeat fuck arrangement, persuade them to add you on Facebook, then when you're done, send a pic to the mrs!

works every time :)

by Anonymousreply 9607/05/2012

[post by racist shit-stain removed.]

by Anonymousreply 9707/05/2012

I fell for the married thing, act discreet and lie about a fake family and then poz u up with untreated hiv esp if they are older

i thought i was in same boat but most married guys tell me it means discreet, no strings, and poz

by Anonymousreply 9803/25/2013
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