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Do you know anyone who has gotten a mail order bride?

A coworker of mine bought one from the Phillipines recently. What are these guys usually like? My coworker happens to be overweight and socially awkward, but do you think there are desirable men who do this just so they can have a subservient wife?

by Anonymousreply 18609/16/2014

No. Most are older and fat/ugly or have major control issues. They can't score with American women so they get a woman with money and the promise of a green card.

by Anonymousreply 107/09/2011

They each get something they want.

Although, several years ago I watched a crime show and there was a pretty blonde from Russia that married some creepy guy and ended up murdered.

by Anonymousreply 207/09/2011

He bought a frau? OMG. That IS sick and disgusting.

by Anonymousreply 307/09/2011

Can you order a hot male, too, or is it just M2F?

by Anonymousreply 407/09/2011

I love you long time mhb. Long time.

by Anonymousreply 507/09/2011

I know a former coworker who has had 2 mail order brides. He is nice enough and an attorney with a federal agency. He was involved with an older, married woman for several years and then her husband found out and she chose to be with the husband. He was really upset over it and apparently decided he needed a spouse asap. So he started checking out the Russian women. He found one and they corresponded and then met in Europe so each could check the other out. She also had 2 or 3 kids including a teen and a pre-teen (and a dog). We thought he was crazy and I was concerned that he'd end up dead, but he married her. They were probably married 5 years or so and then divorced. She started working in real estate shortly after they were married. She had no desire to sit on her ass at home. He'd moved to another office in a different state by then so we rarely talked. But when I spoke with him last year, he had married a second one from Russia.

by Anonymousreply 607/09/2011

I had a neighbour whose wife was from the Philippines. He was ex-navy, large and overweight, covered in tattoos, racist, foul mouthed (used to swear at their toddler son) and much older than her. He had an ex-navy mate who also had a wife from the Philippines!

by Anonymousreply 707/09/2011

I used to have a neighbor with a Russian wife who had 2 kids. The barely spoke any English.

by Anonymousreply 807/09/2011

I knew, briefly, a socially awkward, brusque, nasty millionaire who got one. Russian.

She came over and made his life a living hell. Took off as soon as she had a baby.

Cant say as I felt bad for him, because he was an asshole with a real sexual predator vibe, and not in a good way.

However, I did feel bad for their son, who was going to live the rest of his life with two parents who would be perfectly happy to see harm come to the other one. And maybe weren't opposed to speeding up the process.

Mel Gibson and the Russian girlfriend reminded me of them.

by Anonymousreply 907/09/2011

Acquaintance of a friend got a mail order bride from the Philippines. He's a nerdy, awkward guy, not stupid but just very uncomfortable in social situations with women. He thought this would solve his problem: he'd get a nice, appreciative, subservient woman who would be happy to come to the US to live a better life and oh yes, fuck him regularly.%0D %0D WELL. She turned out to be a devil-woman who popped out one kid and then lay around the house all day watching TV, who gave him unremitting shit for everything he did, and spent all his money on QVC crap (or sent it home to her family). They finally divorced and she spent all the alimony and child-support money on more crap (and sent it home to her family) and then sent the kid back on the bus to live with his dad. %0D %0D The guy got fucked, and then he REALLY got fucked.

by Anonymousreply 1007/09/2011

I have a story similar to R10's, but the bride wasn't mail order per se (but may as well have been). An acquaintance of mine, who's very good-looking but one of the oddest people I've ever known personally, decided around the age of 30 that he wanted a virgin bride (literally) from South America (again, literally). Instead of ordering one by mail, however, he taught himself fluent Spanish via an immersion course in Mexico, and then spent several months backpacking through small villages in Argentina and Peru looking for a suitable bride, and finally found one: an attractive and seemingly servile 19-year-old raised by strict parents. After a short courtship period, he brought her to the States and married her.

As in R10's case, she turned into a devil woman almost immediately. Being unable and unwilling to learn to speak more than a modicum of English, she couldn't make any friends, and within a year became high-strung and needy to the point of mania, and because she was so "bored" all the time, she'd go on massive spending sprees at the mall and max out her husband's credit card and whatnot. Finally -- because the guy was stupid enough to trust her to joint access to all of his financial accounts -- she up and disappeared one day, presumably back to Argentina ... but not before wiring her husband's life savings at that point, an amount in the low-six-figure range, into a foreign account. Hubby went back to her home village looking for her, but her parents claimed they hadn't heard a peep from her -- though "curiously" they had upgraded their very modest home with satellite TV and nice furnishings, and had a late-model pickup truck parked outside (after previously getting around by horse and mule). He finally said fuck it and filed for divorce on grounds of desertion a few months later.

by Anonymousreply 1107/09/2011

A former brother-in-law (brother of my first partner) married a woman from Russia that he met through a matching service. He flew to Finland to meet her face-to-face and became engaged within a week. She obtained a fiancee visa, came to the US, and they married. She then brought per parents over. She also applied for her own green card. The day after that she received her permanent residency, she served him with divorce papers.

by Anonymousreply 1207/09/2011

Some of them are just socially awkward nerds. Sort of feel for those guys.

The majority I'm sorry to say are ugly creeps who know if they buy a desperate 3rd world woman, they can get someone more attractive than they, and possibly get away with treating her badly.

by Anonymousreply 1307/09/2011

I keep hearing about this; and I keep thinking about what type of man would resort to this; really desperate losers? I mean it's like "paying" to mate with someone. And with someone that doesn't speak the same language as you, have never met you before. If you ask me it's cruel to the brides.

by Anonymousreply 1407/09/2011

"Buyer beware" r10.%0D %0D I have ZERO sympathy for someone who basically purchases another human being.%0D %0D

by Anonymousreply 1507/09/2011

I agree with several of the replies also, it's common that the woman leaves the man (after getting residency or $). These guys are hopelessly naive. It's usually karma. These guys are always saying how american women are too feminist, want too much, blah blah. It's a rude awakening when they realize there's no magical stash of women who lust after ugly guys that treat them as less than equal. Nadia doesn't actually want to fuck that 50 year old, balding fatass and scrub his floor? Shocker.

by Anonymousreply 1607/09/2011

I know two. One is handsome guy with inherited money, who may be a sociopath. After two American wives caught on and ran like hell, he married an unemployed Russian ex-model, who thought he was a better deal than the sex trade. %0D %0D The other was about to marry his third Thai mail-order bride when I knew him, and he was in his early thirties, handsome, good-natured, and well-paid. I don't know what his deal is, %0D he might be a closet case. %0D %0D I've lost touch with both, and have no idea how the marriages turned out.

by Anonymousreply 1707/09/2011

"I have ZERO sympathy for someone who basically purchases another human being."

Same here. You knows what sons of bitches these guys really are when no one is looking.

They all got what they deserved.

by Anonymousreply 1807/09/2011

""Buyer beware" [R10].%0D %0D I have ZERO sympathy for someone who basically purchases another human being."%0D %0D Totally agree with that. I think it's a bad deal on both sides, but those who really suffer the most are the children of these relationships. This guy wound up with his 10-year-old son who had been spoiled but neglected by his mother, who didn't want to live with Dad, and who decided that committing neighborhood crimes would get him sent back home to Mom. Just a totally fucked up little family dynamic.%0D %0D

by Anonymousreply 1907/09/2011

[quote] he was an asshole with a real sexual predator vibe, and not in a good way. %0D %0D There's such a thing as a sexual predator "in a good way?"

by Anonymousreply 2007/09/2011

Any mail order dudes?

by Anonymousreply 2107/09/2011

r16, I agree with you; many people don't realize this, but even people at the bottom-rungs of the society are human beings. No matter how low a person's position in life is, that person is STILL a person, and always will be. I've never heard a quote more true "Everyone's a critic" (hence my name). Those mail-order brides (those subservient objects) they judge, and many of them harshly. What most of these men are looking for, essentially, is respect, which they never got from their previous mates; but, they don't realize that money does not equal respect; money is essentially limited. You EARN the respect. And that's all there is to it.

by Anonymousreply 2207/09/2011

Get a pre-nup.

by Anonymousreply 2307/09/2011

[quote]What most of these men are looking for, essentially, is respect, which they never got from their previous mates

Are you fucking kidding me? What most of these men are looking for is a servile submissive who will "respect" them only in the context of doing exactly what they're told, all the time, without asking questions, under the implicit threat of being sent back to their impoverished lives back home if they don't acquiesce. Southeast Asians are preferred both because they're unusually submissive, but also because many white men have a borderline-depraved sexual fetish for them. If you don't believe me, try visiting Bangkok sometime; you'll be shocked at the number of solo-traveling middle-aged white men there exclusively for the purposes of sex tourism, which in Thailand generally means fucking girls under the age of 16 (and in some cases as young as 12, since they're "still tight" at that age).

by Anonymousreply 2407/09/2011

My partner and I were witnesses to an arranged meeting between a German guy and a Russian mail order bride chaperoned by her mother at a restaurant in Reykjavik a couple of years ago. The whole set up was very uncomfortable and whenever the old guy left the table the two women would berate him in Russian (I studied the language so I could understand wht they were saying). Of course, in front of him, the mail order bride was super servile.

In all honesty, what do you expect from these Russian dating services? They are mostly run by the mafia and I suspect the women come from the pool of their ex-prostitutes and others who have paid their dues. Some of those women are far more educated, speak better English, and are with a more colorful past than those control freak suckers could ever imagine.

by Anonymousreply 2507/09/2011

I'm sure there are plenty of cute boys overseas who'd be delighted to land a rich American husband.

by Anonymousreply 2607/09/2011

Not a mail order bride, but a coworker went to Japan specifically to find and marry a Japanese woman because he loathed Canadian women and their feminist ways.

by Anonymousreply 2707/09/2011

"Not a mail order bride, but a coworker went to Japan specifically to find and marry a Japanese woman because he loathed Canadian women and their feminist ways."

Hope his non-"feminist" Japanese wife turns out to be an axe-murderer.

by Anonymousreply 2807/09/2011

[quote]My coworker happens to be overweight and socially awkward, but do you think there are desirable men who do this just so they can have a subservient wife?

Forgot to add that the coworker who went to Japan for a wife is an insecure, awkward, fattie dweeb and it was obvious that he just wanted a submissive woman who wouldn't make him feel like a complete loser.

His wife turned out to be a complete harpy and we'd laugh at him whenever he complained about her.

What I really dislike most about these guys is that they completely underestimate these women from Asia and Russia and South America and assume that they're all submissive, stupid women who want nothing more than to be slaves to their husbands. Douchebags.

I can understand a man wanting a woman who will stay at home with the kids and do the old-fashioned housewife thing, but these men want slaves, not equal partners.

by Anonymousreply 2907/09/2011

When I was in school, my Russian friends and I befriended a girl our age who was a "townie." She was Russian and married to a local, and although she never confirmed it, we pretty much figured she was a mail-order bride.

It was a really sad situation. She was very nice (I guess you could say "subservient"), and he was a total redneck loser with a massive control streak. He couldn't stand when we would invite her for dinner or tea or whatnot, even though she had no other friends in America and all of her family was back in Russia. Whenever he would come to take her home, he would not speak a word to anyone. Not even to her, and she genuinely cared about him for some crazy reason. She always had a curfew, as if she were his daughter. Sometimes he would call her when we were out, and you could hear him SCREAMING through the phone, and all she would say is, "Ok, I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

I lost touch with her, but I still think about her from time to time and wonder if she ever divorced him. God only knows what was going on behind closed doors, because from what we all saw of him, he was a psycho.

by Anonymousreply 3007/09/2011

Yeah, r20, in a kinky, respectful way.

I've known plenty.

This guy had more of a "I like to do things non-consensually" vibe.

by Anonymousreply 3107/09/2011

[quote]Hope his non-"feminist" Japanese wife turns out to be an axe-murderer

Axe-murderer? Probably not. His balls in a vice? Likely.

Hopefully it goes a little something like this (link).

by Anonymousreply 3207/09/2011

"What most of these men are looking for, essentially, is respect, which they never got from their previous mates; but, they don't realize that money does not equal respect; money is essentially limited"%0D %0D Well, there are people in this world who don't want to contribute anything to a relationship except money. Which is okay if you can afford the kind of expensive trophy wives who'll keep up appearances, with the cheap mail-order brides you take your chances. %0D %0D Most people who don't want to put anything but money into a relationship are men, but there's also Madonna.

by Anonymousreply 3307/09/2011

The husbands sometimes act like the bought a horse. Once it starts acting up, time for wife #2, #3.

It isn't hard to find murder/abuse stories. There was even "Anastasia's Law" created after one of them. Sad story, but described amusingly in the papers, as they bluntly described the typical mail order bride candidate with comments like "Anastasia got sick of having sex with him because he was so fat".

[quote]Like so many other women from the former Soviet Union, Anastasia Solovieva came to America to find a better life.

[quote]The mail-order bride agency she signed up with in her native Kyrgyzstan had matched her with a fat, balding man in Seattle more than twice her age, but the attractive 18-year-old was determined to make her US marriage work. In early letters home to her parents - both music teachers - in their tiny flat in the Kyrgyzstan capital Bishkek, she praised her husband for his intelligence and smart dress sense.

[quote]Two years after their wedding, Anastasia was dead, strangled and buried in a junkyard by her husband.

by Anonymousreply 3407/09/2011

"Although, several years ago I watched a crime show and there was a pretty blonde from Russia that married some creepy guy and ended up murdered."

That HBO forensic show about the autopsies, I don't think it's still on, featured several episodes about these fug, fat, socially awkward and controlling men who murdered their mail order wives from the Philippines.

One guy murdered all three of his mail order wives! They finally arrested him before he murdered the fourth wife!

These men think because they are buying these women, they can do anything they want with them, including murder!

by Anonymousreply 3507/09/2011

Primetime or one of those news shows had a feature about a man who got a mail order bride from the Phillipines. He was late fifties, former Navy not very attractive, and had been previously married to an American woman who had died under strange circumstances (sorry, can't remember the details). His Filipino wife was completely intent on making the marriage work and even had a child. He murdered her, buried the body and played the grieving husband after her "disappeance." AFter he had been indicted, the police began to look into his first wife's death and it was ruled a murder...%0D %0D Some of these girls are so desperate. I don't know if they fully know the risks.

by Anonymousreply 3607/09/2011

Marcus Bachmann's mail order bride was the last creature off Pluto before it was de-planeted.

by Anonymousreply 3707/09/2011

omg, check out this crazy fat white southerner who married a filipino.

by Anonymousreply 3807/09/2011

[quote] I'm sure there are plenty of cute boys overseas who'd be delighted to land a rich American husband.

A close friend, gay Canadian male in his 50s, professional, was involved with a twenty one year old male from Central America, in Canada on a student visa. It got serious quite quickly. There was talk of marriage about six months into it.

But it turned out he wasn't a student, wasn't 21 (more like 31), and he had another Canadian man and a Canadian woman on the side, both also at the stage of contemplating marriage. These other two were also in their 50s, professional, not rich but comfortable.

I figure all three were worth well over a million just because of the over-inflated housing market.

I don't remember the details of how he was exposed and exactly what happened that got him sent home, just that it was the woman, a physician, who first put the pieces together. Apparently one of her previous husbands was gay and closeted and cheating on her so she knew the signs. I think she even hired a private detective and that was what led her to my friend and the other gentleman. The funny part was when my friend and the other guy realized they had tricked together a few times about 30 years earlier.

I've met the other guy as well, we have mutual friends, but I don't know him.

No, they didn't rekindle anything despite my encouragement. And the reason I say that is because there's really no fool like an old fool. My close friend decided to go look for this prize back in his country. There had been some telephone contact after the deportation and of course financial support, which bought a computer and online access, so lots of email too. Even skype video calls, I believe.

My friend said he knew it was all about coming to Canada and he'd eventually lose him but he liked him, it was worth it, he was smart, he was helping someone from the developing world, maybe he was being threatened for being gay at home, hetero men have rescued women this way for centuries, you name it, he had dozens of reason/justifications. Clearly he was smitten.

At this point my friend was determined to save him and showed up unannounced. He and his wife and three children were living with his wealthy parents.

by Anonymousreply 3907/09/2011

Calvin Klein.

by Anonymousreply 4007/09/2011

R38 - That video is sickening. Between his buffoonery and her fake "I love you!" proclamations...

by Anonymousreply 4107/09/2011

I met a couple while I was in the military. One was a nice geek who was married to a Thai prostitute. The other was fugly midget (nice guy though) who married a Filipina.

by Anonymousreply 4207/09/2011

My dad has a friend who got a mail order bride from the Phillipines. He is a pretty nice guy, but overweight and in a wheelchair. He also has a lot of health problems (diabetic) and is in his late 60s. The wife is in her late 30s. My dad is single and contemplated getting a woman from Russia. I told him that he would do so over my dead body. I'll be damned if some hooker is going to take my inheritance. I do think that the Filipino women are a little less likely to be psycho than the Russians. I also think that these men (my father included) are sad, desperate, and have a hard time admitting to themselves that the only woman they can attract on their own merit is an overweight old woman who is their physical equal.

by Anonymousreply 4307/09/2011

R39, Canada recognizes gay marriages for citizenship purposes?

by Anonymousreply 4407/09/2011

[quote]At this point my friend was determined to save him

R39, over the last eight years I've seen this kind of self deception posted on Data Lounge so many times and I've laughed each and every time.

I'm afraid I'll be doomed to the same shit in 20 years as pay back.

by Anonymousreply 4507/09/2011

I always thought the idea of mail-order brides was pure sleaze until I found out an old college roommate got one from The Philippines. He was always super-hunky, blonde, and HOT but he had been abused badly by his dad as a boy and he was extremely eccentric. The abuse scarred him badly and he would always do something bizarre to chase every woman away.%0D %0D But his Filipina bride turned out to be a match made in Heaven. She came over and fell in love with him, and they have been a riotously happy couple for 20+ years now. She came over acting submissive, but in no time she ruled the roost, and he loves it.%0D %0D So ya never know. I would be more inclined to trust a Filipina woman bride than a Russian one. I've known waaaaaaay too many Russian golddiggers in my work translating for Russian immigrants.

by Anonymousreply 4607/09/2011

The Ukranians are the worst. Those bitches will cut you in your sleep.

by Anonymousreply 4707/09/2011

I was always under the impression that Filipina Mail Order Brides were just like Cynthia from Priscilla Queen of the Desert. They at first appear sweet & submissive, but turn out wild and out of control.

by Anonymousreply 4807/09/2011

I get the feeling some DL'ers don't know how completely hopeless life is for millions of poor women around the world. Even a life taking care of a 90-year-old, 700 pound man in America can look like a huge ray of hope if you've never had safe water to drink, never had 4 real walls around you, and never had the opportunity to go to school. That's reality for millions of women. I'd grab ANY opportunity to get to America if there was some hope of eventually turning those lemons into lemonade. In much of the world there are not even the lemons, ever.%0D %0D Of course I deplore those insane or criminal men who abuse these women, but I bet there are some women whose lives eventually became wonderful from seizing the opportunity to come here to marry some poor, hapless schmuck that no one here would marry.

by Anonymousreply 4907/09/2011

I've known it to work once. A guy I went to college with is a real outdoorsman/hippy wannabe type. He went to Latvia or Estonia after exchanging a few letters, and found the girl of his dreams--she was basically an Eastern European peasant. He said at the time he was sick of spoiled materialistic American women.

They've been together for 20 years. They live on a little farm in Virginia where they raise chickens, keep bees, grow vegetables , and generally live like Amish (assuming the Amish smoke a LOT of pot). He goes off to his job with the Park Service and she feeds the pigs. They seem happy as clams, and from what I can see it's very much a marriage of equals.

That said, I read a report once that tracked the women, mostly Filipino, who were mailorder brides and/or women who married military personell, and the number who wound up working in massage parlors or as prostitutes was staggeringly high.

by Anonymousreply 5007/09/2011

Well stated R49

by Anonymousreply 5107/09/2011

[quote]I get the feeling some DL'ers don't know how completely hopeless life is for millions of poor women around the world. Even a life taking care of a 90-year-old, 700 pound man in America can look like a huge ray of hope if you've never had safe water to drink, never had 4 real walls around you, and never had the opportunity to go to school.

Honey, we're talking about Russian, Thai and Filipino women here, not starving women in Rwanda. All three countries have public education, safe drinking supplies and few homeless. Still, many parts of the country are poor in contrast to the U.S., so some women there submit to what is in essence a form of prostitution to provide a better life for themselves (and probably their families back home as well). I would hope that most of them either go to college or learn some sort of decent job skills while married, and then dump their weirdo sugar daddies as soon as they get their final permanent green card or full citizenship.

by Anonymousreply 5207/09/2011

"Even a life taking care of a 90-year-old, 700 pound man in America can look like a huge ray of hope if you've never had safe water to drink, never had 4 real walls around you, and never had the opportunity to go to school. "%0D %0D But the guys who buy mail-order brides don't want some third-worlder who's never been to school or seen a doctor, and who certainly doesn't speak English. They want someone with fluent English and a boob job - again, a woman who's out of their league. %0D %0D Why don't these men realize... you can buy someone for cheap if they're desperate, but they won't stay bought.

by Anonymousreply 5307/09/2011


by Anonymousreply 5407/10/2011

r16 has 4 working brain cells. Karma, indeed. Oh, no, here comes the rain demon! You're a fucking idiot.

by Anonymousreply 5507/10/2011

This is really no different than sex slavery and the men who do this should be imprisoned for rape.

by Anonymousreply 5607/10/2011

Tons of guys in Alaska do this. As the saying goes among heterosexual women looking for date-able men around here, the odds are good, but the goods are odd.

Failing (due largely to hygiene and/or personality defects) to attract a bride the normal way, Alaska men frequently turn to the Russian Far East or the Philippines. It is a genuine pleasure to watch Filipinas work these guys over.

Typically they play the role of subservient, traditional brides with limited English skills. The instant they attain legal status, which either occurs by the operation of time or by court intervention when these guys inevitably raise a hand to them, the mantle drops. Three months later, dissolution in hand, they're in middle management at the local bank (owing to their advanced accounting degree from some Philippine university) and dating a real estate lawyer.

It's awesome.

The Russians don't fare as well. They're more beat down by life in Siberia when they get here. My neighbor has one, an older, pretty lady; she seems sad. He's rich, an asshole, and semi-old. I keep hoping she figures out how to poison his toothpaste like Theresa Russell in Black Widow and gets away with it.

by Anonymousreply 5707/10/2011

MANY women in Russia, Thailand, and the Philippines live in places where there is abject poverty and hopelessness. If you think all women (and men!) in those countries have it so good you have never been to those countries. Once you leave the big cities there, you are in a different world. And there are lots of homeless people in those countries. Ever lived thru a Russian winter in a cardboard box?

by Anonymousreply 5807/10/2011

[quote]Still, many parts of the country are poor in contrast to the U.S., so some women there submit to what is in essence a form of prostitution to provide a better life for themselves....

The life of a heterosexual is a sick and twisted one.

by Anonymousreply 5907/10/2011

[quote]I also think that these men (my father included) are sad, desperate, and have a hard time admitting to themselves that the only woman they can attract on their own merit is an overweight old woman who is their physical equal.

Why do they think they are entitled to someone who is not their equal? If you're old, fat and ugly, that's exactly what you deserve in a mate.

Men are so good at deluding themselves. They will forever be taken advantage of by the young and beautiful.

by Anonymousreply 6007/10/2011

R56= jealous overweight American woman.

by Anonymousreply 6107/10/2011

Hardly, r61. You are a maroon.

by Anonymousreply 6207/10/2011

Wrong, r61. Try again.

by Anonymousreply 6307/10/2011

Because as the stories here and everywhere else on the web clearly indicate, there's so much for R56 to be jealous of in these situations.

by Anonymousreply 6407/10/2011

I know a guy in Atlanta who flew to Russia to meet a potential bride. He found he didn't like her so nothing happened, but in his case I don't think he would have mistreated the woman in any way. He was well-to-do but very sleazy in his dress... 70's-style suits and slicked back hair, plus he was around 65 years old. So no young woman would have him in America and all he wanted was a young woman.%0D %0D Personally I disagreed with what he was trying to do: "buy" a desperate young Russian woman's affection. But I know he never would have mistreated her. He was just a sleazy sad sack. There are lots of those in America... men who insist on dating someone half their age. As a 58 year old, I find that very sad. At some point we need to act our age.

by Anonymousreply 6507/10/2011


by Anonymousreply 6607/10/2011

I have a relative on my mom's side who is unfortunately what I would call white trash who was fleeced out of money by foreign women he was chatting with online. One Malaysian girl (or maybe not) claimed she would fly over here to meet him but she needed $1000.00. Dumb trashy relative sent it and she was never heard from again. He tried doing it again with a Russian girl and tried borrowing the money from his brother and was told to fuck off. He has no teeth, works a menial job and lives in a trailer yet actually thinks he has something to offer these women. They were both model gorgeous in their pictures but they were probably fake. Some men are so desperate for sex and companionship.

by Anonymousreply 6707/10/2011

A friend of a friend lived in a tiny town in Arizona. She taught at the local community college where she met an endless stream of mail order brides. Many of them, she told me, were *delighted* with their lives in this dead-end town of about 2,000 people.

Think how bad their lives must have previously been, for them to be so happy?!

Of course for each of these happy mail order brides there are countless miserable and abused ones too.

by Anonymousreply 6807/10/2011

R67, Love how you assume the "model gorgeous" women in the pictures were the ones fleecing him. You could be easily duped yourself if you're naive enough to think the person in the photo is the same one he sent the check to. Probably some Russian con man who has a rotating stash of photos he uses to extort cash from dumb yokels.

by Anonymousreply 6907/10/2011

Sure, but your friend was meeting the women who go to community college, if I'm understanding correctly. Those women would be the ones with the positive experience (nice if socially awkward and ugly husbands). The ones I've encountered would never have been allowed to go to school by their wardens, excuse me, husbands.

by Anonymousreply 7007/10/2011

I didn't assume they were R69. I pointed out they were more than likely fake.

by Anonymousreply 7107/10/2011

Years ago I knew someone who was a well-paid English teacher in Asia. He was a racist, misogynist, homophobic wanker but I didn't realise that at first.

Anyway, he comes back from a holiday in Thailand with a very young "bride" that he paid for. He gave her "father" money. Suffice to say the whole thing was supremely dodgy. She was expected to wear skimpy outfits, cook for him (she didn't eat with us when I went for dinner, it was awful)and service him. Six months later she still barely speaks English. He tells me he just sticks a Mr Bean video on to entertain her!

I stopped seeing him shortly after this. I was so happy to discover that a few years later she had learned English, met someone else and left him. The best part was he then got himself a Russian mail order bride who fucked one of his colleagues and totally humiliated him.

It couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.

by Anonymousreply 7207/10/2011

"She taught at the local community college where she met an endless stream of mail order brides. Many of them, she told me, were *delighted* with their lives in this dead-end town of about 2,000 people."%0D %0D I'll bet you the ones in the Podunk community college don't play to stay in Podunk, or with their current husbands. Once they've got their associate's degree and legal residency, they're off to do whatever it is they want to do. Of course they're cheerful, they're lookinf forward to a brighter future. %0D %0D These are the ones whose husbands are letting them out of the house, and who aren't threatened by the wives getting more educated, and who are probably going on to something better. They've got a much better deal than some.

by Anonymousreply 7307/10/2011

Un-fucking-believable. I did see this one day on tv and couldn't believe it. It was creepy seeing all these old men eyeing up young Mexican women.

by Anonymousreply 7407/10/2011

These men who purchase mail-order brides are almost always angry, Tea Party types who hate the government.

by Anonymousreply 7507/10/2011

From R74's link:

quote]"A lot of men would pay more money to hunt deer, elk or bear, than they would pay to hunt for a wife. I can't understand this, because they have to kill the deer, elk, or bear before they can sleep with them..." - Ivan Thompson

Apparently they've never visited that beastiality forum in the "Woman Dies From Dog Semen" thread.

by Anonymousreply 7607/10/2011

It is really hard to imagine anyone going for this shit who isn't toxic and embittered - I know a couple of really, really socially inept and lonely straight guys from college who are genuinely sympathetic characters despite being kind of hard to be around, but they're sympathetic precisely because they don't blame SPOILED SHREWISH IRON-WILLED WESTERN FEMINAZIS for their situation

by Anonymousreply 7707/10/2011

Yes, a close friend of my dad's bought a mail-order bride from Thailand. She was a bit of a party animal and spent money like it was nobody's business. She ended up ditching him after two years of marriage. He still pays her alimony to this very day. Currently, she resides in Las Vegas and it trying to make her dream of becoming a show girl a reality. Sadly, she isn't even 5ft. tall.

by Anonymousreply 7807/10/2011

I remember when Art Bell, the old host of the Coast to Coast radio program, married some Filipino woman only a few weeks after his wife died unexpectedly. For some reason she wasn't allowed to move to America, so he had to move to the Phillipines. That whole thing was weird.

by Anonymousreply 7907/10/2011

I work with a guy who has a mail order bride from South America. Not an angry type at all, just super super nerdy and (I feel bad saying this) really short-changed in the looks department (really oily, lots of pock marks, strange facial features). He's socially awkward to the point that he doesn't look at you when he speaks, which is actually funny because if you try to lock eyes with him when you're talking, he'll even go so far as to turn his head away and talk to the wall.%0D %0D He's super smart, a physicist with a doctorate. From all accounts they're happy. I think they have a couple of kids. I don't think an American woman would have gone for him, even though he is very successful in his field. He's just too bizarre.

by Anonymousreply 8007/10/2011

He sounds like a high functioning autistic R80.

by Anonymousreply 8107/10/2011

I knew one young guy who bought one and loved her(Asian) I knew one older man who needed someone to take care of him.

by Anonymousreply 8207/10/2011

[quote] What most of these men are looking for, essentially, is respect

No, what most of these men are looking for, essentially, is someone to have sex with on a regular basis.

by Anonymousreply 8307/10/2011

The sad thing is that pimp/matchmaker at R74 seems like one of the less sleazy ones (faint praise). At least he's honest with his customers too! [quote]What Is The Mexican Woman's Motivation For Marrying An American Man? [quote]Ivan's Answer: Mexico is no paradise for Mexican women. Other hilarious frequently asked questions from his site. These guys must have absolutely no self respect. Why not work on yourself instead of buying a person who doesn't want you? [quote]Does It Matter To Mexican Women How Good Looking I Am? [quote]Does It Matter How Old I Am To a Mexican Woman? [quote]Does My Income Matter To Mexican Women?

by Anonymousreply 8407/10/2011

r80, I had a dermatologist who couldn't make eye contact. He would look at the ceiling, turn his back on you, stare at the floor, basically look anywhere but at you. And I didn't even really have bad skin just teenage acne, mostly whiteheads so it wasn't that I was too repulsive to be seen. But not a great quality in a dermo. My mother who has rosacia also saw him and he did the same to her. It was really weird.

by Anonymousreply 8507/10/2011

So was my sudden 'asthma attack' R79.

by Anonymousreply 8607/10/2011

The men I've met who have done this have one thing in common, the belief women are inferior, are property, and are to service the needs of men.

by Anonymousreply 8707/10/2011

I had a friend who ordered a mail order bride. She had to save barcodes from her cereal for 3 decades in order to qualify. And the bride they sent was chipped! Chipped! After all that.

by Anonymousreply 8807/10/2011

Those men buy a human being who, most likely if they're from Russia, will leave them the day they receive a residency permit. If that's what you get to be a prostitute during years, good for them.

by Anonymousreply 8907/10/2011

Actually, if what you want is a long-term prostitute, a mail-order bride probably makes good financial sense. No matter how much she spends during your time together, it's less than charging by the hour.%0D %0D The sad thing is that the husbands seem to think they are going to get obedience, respect, and even love... out of legalized prostitution.

by Anonymousreply 9007/10/2011

Come to think of it I did know someone who had someone who might have been a mail order bride type. This was at a 12 step meeting. The man was pathologically shy and secretive, but nice. I didn't consider him good looking, but some might. I have no idea what he did for a living or how much money he had, but he did live in a nice high rise building.%0D %0D He went to Brazil for vacation and came back with a Brazilian woman. We were all kind of stunned. She seemed nice but could barely communicate. To her credit, she began taking ESL classes immediately. They seemed happy for the brief six or so months they were together. Then one day she dissappeared, he looked morose beyond belief but would not talk about it. We have no idea how they met or if they ever got married (the secretiveness). After a short while he dissappeared, too.

by Anonymousreply 9107/10/2011

[quote]The men I've met who have done this have one thing in common, the belief women are inferior, are property, and are to service the needs of men.

Bitch, do my laundry.

by Anonymousreply 9207/10/2011

The movie Mail Order Wife is one of the best funny movies!

by Anonymousreply 9307/10/2011


by Anonymousreply 9407/11/2011

Amazed given the DL track record that some bozo hasn't chimed in declaring that men are wise to get mail-order brides since American women are so fat, bossy, entitled, frau-ish...& on & on.

Some funny, sad, & disturbing stories on this thread.

by Anonymousreply 9507/11/2011

mhb probably wouldn't touch this thread with a ten foot virtual pole, R95.

by Anonymousreply 9607/11/2011

The rich and powerful will always exploit the poor and weak in the world. I hate that rich, entitled adoptive parents steal children from impoverished countries. It's the same thing.

by Anonymousreply 9707/11/2011

Just reported this morning on the local WPIX news, a woman in California, she looked Filipino, pulled a Lorena Bobbitt. Her last name was Becker or Barker.

She spiked her husband's drink, he conked out, while he was sleeping she cut her husband's penis off with a knife, then threw it down garbage disposal and turned the disposal on!

This happened in a condo community, the reactions of the residents went from horror to laughter from a guy who said while laughing, "For a guy that's the ultimate nightmare."

The cop interviewed, said the penis was recovered, but was "in pretty bad shape." The man and his penis were rushed to the hospital.

When the man was being taken to the hospital, he said, "I deserved it."!!

by Anonymousreply 9807/13/2011

Eww at all these foreign mail-order brides with their wrinkly old husbands. That's just prostitution and so tacky.

by Anonymousreply 9907/13/2011

I'm pretty sure that the asian LA cunt was a mail order bride since they only got married in December.

by Anonymousreply 10007/13/2011

"When the man was being taken to the hospital, he said, "I deserved it."!!"

I got that part wrong, the wife said, "HE deserved it".

by Anonymousreply 10107/13/2011

Yes. There is an aged Jewish fella calls himself Dr.Hip, a San Fran character from the Herb Caen days. He's had a mail order bride for about 4 years now. Think she's Philliapena. To me it's pathetic as he's about 40 years younger than him. He makes her dress much older than her years. When I see her she makes eye contact like:Help! I'm nursemaiding this old geezer. I feel pity for her.

by Anonymousreply 10207/13/2011

Their not desirable men at all their inadequate & disgusting so they take advantage of women from other countries because a majority of the women will let them take advantage out of fear. The men are such weak wimpy individuals they can't handle a beautiful woman telling them how much of a loser they are & they should just kill themselves. No I don't know someone that has received a mail order bride because I don't waste my time with nobodies.

by Anonymousreply 10312/08/2011

R103 sounds kinda nuts.

by Anonymousreply 10412/08/2011

Yes, a guy I worked with had a mail order bride for about 4 months until she went back to Asia.

He is very smart but is almost blind and has cochlear implants. He also can be verbally abusive at work.

He has a lot of qualities, but he can be such a prick that it is hard to feel sorry for him for his difficulties in life.

by Anonymousreply 10512/08/2011

It wouldn't surprise me if my brother bought a mail order bride.

by Anonymousreply 10612/08/2011


by Anonymousreply 10712/09/2011

One of our neighbors was an older guy -- late 60s maybe -- and one day he returned home from vacation with a new Filipina wife. Within a year he was dead of a heart attack and his little house overflowed with her relatives.

Dad said he was sure she had fucked him to death.

by Anonymousreply 10812/09/2011

US Military acronyn for Filipina: LBFM That is: Little Brown Fucking Machine

by Anonymousreply 10912/09/2011

I divorced my ex-husband when I discovered he'd been shopping for a Ukrainian mail order bride. He told me Ukrainian gals were "raised differently" and not so oppressed by the idea of pleasing a man. (So, as you can see, this is a man I needed to ditch anyway.) He ended up marrying one. She just had a baby, which I'm sure he didn't want and she planned. She's 33, he's 58. So that's my revenge. I get to enjoy traveling with my wonderful new rich husband, while he's up to his ass in diapers. The ex has a PhD from a top school, but no assets to speak of and has totally lost all respect from his children (our two, who are grown.)

The mail order bride actually seems like a nice enough person - just desperate, I suspect.

by Anonymousreply 11008/24/2012

I own this thread.

by Anonymousreply 11108/24/2012

A guy I work with in Dallas has a mail order bride, or so I've assumed. However she came over with a nursing degree and works so I'm not sure of her financial situation prior to coming to the states. She's pregnant now so I'm waiting to see if she divorces him once the child is born. She seems happy, but I know he has anger management problems and verbally abuse(d)(s) his first/ex wife.

by Anonymousreply 11208/24/2012

There are happy mail order brides. My college roommates' mom wanted to leave China before Mao took over. She was Christian and feared for her life. Although her Chinese Texan Husband was about 20 years older, he seemed like a "very good man." My roommate said that they had a very happy marriage and several children. Her Mom was traditional but not submissive.

After I dated a doctor in research, he started corresponding with Russian Girls. He was brilliant but socially awkward, and tired of being rejected by professional ladies.

I also knew a Chinese girl who came to Vegas to marry a very controlling white man. Both had been divorced. She seemed that she could laugh at anything; I thought that he was a selfish jerk.

The truth is that there are many immature men who want a beautiful young girl to fit exactly into their lifestyle, without having to compromise at all. Hollywood has sold them on an unrealistic fantasy.

by Anonymousreply 11308/24/2012

Chinese are usually only children and cherished. They make poor mail order brides. Russian, Ukrainian, even South American are much better off that that idiot who says these women are desperate would believe. That is to say, America is not nearly so wealthy as he believes in relation to the rest of the world, and the third world. Maybe in the 1970s it was, but certainly not today.

In 1945, the Philippines had 20 million people. Today, thanks to "Catholic birth control" they have 100 million people. If the US had a similar growth rate, If the U.S. had that growth rate, we would have 700 million people today.

by Anonymousreply 11408/24/2012

I know someone who got one...he is actually young and reasonably attractive...the mail order bride is kind of ugly. It must be about the thrill of "buying" someone because this guy could have easily found a nice pretty asian girl to date if he wanted.

by Anonymousreply 11508/24/2012

[quote]She turned out to be a devil-woman who popped out one kid and then lay around the house all day watching TV, who gave him unremitting shit for everything he did, and spent all his money on QVC crap (or sent it home to her family).

So what you're saying is she turned into an American woman.

by Anonymousreply 11608/24/2012

This is such a heterosexist thread. I believe tho only acceptable mail order bride is one that is inflatable.

by Anonymousreply 11708/24/2012

In a sense...

by Anonymousreply 11808/24/2012

I know a couple. One was a short trollish (and nice) guy who got a mail order bride from the Philippines. Another was a nerdy old white guy who married a young Thai girl.

by Anonymousreply 11908/24/2012

Yes. One young man, one older man who needed someone to take care of him.

The young man was worried because his wife was having trouble making friends.

Does Tom and Katie count?

by Anonymousreply 12008/24/2012

"Why not work on yourself instead of buying a person who doesn't want you?"

That's exactly why some men buy foreign women. They can't accept the fact that THEY need to improve themselves to attract what they think they want.

by Anonymousreply 12108/24/2012

Season 1 of the Real Housewives of Orange County had a guy who bought a mail order bride....and then he died.

by Anonymousreply 12208/24/2012

Hoe do men request these wives? Do they write ads? Describe sexual preferences and requirements? Wouldn't many woman who agree to marry later refuse to sleep with these guys leaving the men in the same sexless situation which they began? Don't men want women they have things in common with? I'm curious about the logistics

by Anonymousreply 12308/24/2012

A former co-worker of mine ordered a mail-order bride from Belarus. He was a straight old-maid in his fifties. He didn't seem bothered by the warning signs, like a pregnant 14-year-old daughter who was part of the bargain.

Lucky for him, he was away on business for two weeks when she arrived. The UPS guy left her in the vestibule of his townhouse, and, unfortunately for her, this was right at the beginning of the gawd awful hot spell we experienced a month or so ago. I don't recall if the cause of death was starvation or heat prostration. Poor guy is having a heck of a time getting rid of the smell, but all of his friends keep pointing out that it's nothing compared to an infestation of rug rats.

by Anonymousreply 12408/24/2012

I almost married a Russian and dated a few Eastern Europeans, but they weren't mail order. I met them in the U.S. The women are just easier to get along with if you are an introverted, respectable straight guy who isn't into the bro-culture and banging alcoholic sorority sluts.

by Anonymousreply 12508/24/2012

I'd like to get one just to clean my house and cook for me but I wouldn't want to have to live with her and she could screw anybody she wanted.

by Anonymousreply 12608/24/2012

If these guys are willing to buy a wife, I find it hard to believe they couldn't find some dumb girl, or an immigrant already living in America. They don't just want a girl, they want a girl who is completely dependent on them and has no other options. That's not a wife, that's a slave.

by Anonymousreply 12708/24/2012

[quote]hey don't just want a girl, they want a girl who is completely dependent on them and has no other options. That's not a wife, that's a slave.

or a show on Bravo

by Anonymousreply 12808/24/2012

My husband works with a guy who is on his second mail-order bride. Both from Peru, I believe. He had a child with the first woman, who divorced him shortly after the baby was born. I don't have any info on the new bride.

The guy is in his mid-50s, anti-social, lazy, all the typical stereotypes that guys who buy a wife posess.

by Anonymousreply 12908/24/2012

Stop being glib!!!!!!

by Anonymousreply 13008/24/2012

Ny brother in law has one. Selected her picture from a web site. In the picture she looked like a model. In person not so much. He is an alcoholic asshole who loves to sctew people over. She goes home to the Philippines every year and brings him back Valium which you can buy in drugstores over there. He mixes them with booze all the time. They send lots of money home to her family. I think Filipina women have become the country's largest export. Have an extra daughter? Get some loser white American guy to buy her. I also think this woman used to be a man.

by Anonymousreply 13108/24/2012

R131, your brother in law? So, your sister is the mail order bride?

by Anonymousreply 13208/24/2012

If you buy the Amazon Prime membership you can get them without the shipping charges. (only pays off if you do a lot of online shopping though.)

by Anonymousreply 13308/24/2012

Had a neighbour with a much younger Filipina wife. He was angry, overweight, hairy, tatooed, ex-navy and used to swear loudly at their toddler son. But he also used to keep an eye on what was happening in the neighbourhood for us all.

Also worked with a Vietnam veteran, who had a much younger Asian wife. He was sexist and smarmy and thought very highly of himself - but when another colleague unexpectedly got pregnant and was dumped by her new husband, the Vietnam vet gave the woman a heap of baby items that he and his wife had had in storage.

by Anonymousreply 13408/24/2012

"they want a girl who is completely dependent on them and has no other options. That's not a wife, that's a slave."

These guys would buy slaves if they had the option. The fact that the wives are free to divorce them and claim some of their assets makes them very angry.

Nobody tell them about the fact that slavery is still happening in Africa.

by Anonymousreply 13508/24/2012

R127, That's the whole point. Most of the men are too socially inept to find or deal with a girl already in America, and most want one like they see on TV. Men claim that "they don't have the time." Ever read the profiles and looked at the pics of some of the men advertising in ANY of the online sites? There is a saying in Russia, "A man only needs to be better looking than a monkey." With an extremely high rate of alcoholism, and abuse still common, American men often look like like princes.

by Anonymousreply 13608/24/2012

[quote]who is completely dependent on them and has no other options.

they can get jobs after they marry....the one I know works in Ross Dress for Less (but I don't go there because the decor in those stores is always so drab)

by Anonymousreply 13708/24/2012

How much do they pay and who does the money go to?


by Anonymousreply 13808/25/2012

There are "matchmaking" agencies that introduce desperate foreign women to desperate American losers. They charge fees to initiate contact, and arrange flights. It's all very sleazy, perfectly legal, and everyone is there voluntarily.

I don't think anyone gets their money back if things go pear-shaped.

by Anonymousreply 13908/25/2012

There are like fifty documentaries on these match making services. Watch them, answer your own questions.

by Anonymousreply 14008/25/2012

I want a mail order mountain man

by Anonymousreply 14108/25/2012

A Canadian friend of mine (yes, fat and socially awkward) brought one back from Russia. They divorced after 4 years. Total psycho bitch who has tried multiple times to kidnap their 2 sons (he has custody.) One time he let her take them back to Russia for what was supposed to be a month long vacation but after 4 months he had to hire a private detective to get them back. Just last month she got caught at the airport with fake papers trying to run away with them again.

by Anonymousreply 14208/25/2012

[quote]Chinese are usually only children and cherished.

Delusional comment. That is only true in the progressive cities. In the dirt poor rural areas they're still popping multiple babies out and leaving the girls in roadside ditches, or selling them for foreign adoption. Why do you think we have so many adopted chinese girls (never boys) in the US? They were not "cherished."

by Anonymousreply 14308/25/2012

One of my friends is a mail order bride from Lithuania. She hates her big fat American husband (although she's impressively good at never letting him see her true feelings). She's been cheating on him for years with a French guy she thinks she's truly in love with. Her husband is such an idiot he'll probably never figure it out.

by Anonymousreply 14408/25/2012

Funnily enough, NatGeo is playing "E-Mail Order Bride" right now. They're featuring the Russian bride Anastasia, that was murdered. Her husband's name is Indle King. He was senteced to 28 years and 11 months for killing her.

by Anonymousreply 14508/25/2012

I knew a girl who married a guy from Viet Nam, they had a baby. She thought it was true love but as soon as his boyfriend was able to come over...he said bye-bye to his American wife. She had no idea that he was gay.

by Anonymousreply 14608/25/2012

I saw a documentary once following some British guys and their prospective mail order brides. They interviewed some Russian women who were thinking about signing up with an agency and they were all college educated. They said that Russian guys drank too much and beat their wives, so a British man seemed like a much better prospect and their only way to possibly get outside Russia and have a career. Of course, the prospective Russian brides who got set up with a loser guy did not go through with it. The guys ordering Russian women seemed lonely and the guys ordering Asian women were sleezes. Very interesting doco.

by Anonymousreply 14708/25/2012

No 132 my husbands brother married a Filipina. I am American and in my family we do not sell our kids to losers. And yes he had to give the parents a big chunk of change.

by Anonymousreply 14808/25/2012

Yes but the guy is s registered sex offender and no woman would go out with him.

by Anonymousreply 14908/25/2012

I know a Filipina mail order bride who married an American man. She was a bit embarrassed, but then very forth coming when I asked how they met. From the puzzle pieces, I gathered that he had been a lonely, socially inept guy, not highly motivated for a career. He was in his 50s, much older than her, they had a 10 y.o. kid, were living in a small apartment, he worked two part-time clerical jobs. He'd been in the Service, and found out about a m.o. bride from a vet buddy. By all accounts they seemed a happy family, going on camping trips and the kid had a regular childhood w/ school and after-school lessons. The Filipina told me after she arrived in the U.S., she took driving lessons and went to a community school to become a pre-school teacher, which she did until her kid was born. She does a lot of social activities w/ a large group of Filipina women here. She was a very happy, cheerful woman and seemed happy, except for that her husband wasn't ambitious and they had to live quite frugally.

by Anonymousreply 15008/25/2012

If I could get a hot mail-order groom from the Czech Republic, I think I'd do that in a heart-beat.

by Anonymousreply 15108/25/2012

Yes, I do. My brother got one from China, worst mistake of his life! She's mean, domineering, OBSESSIVE ABOUT MONEY {to the point of ignoring their kids completely, because she wants to work 24/7], doesn't want to fit in with other people, mean to the point of abusive to my mother, won't cook, dresses like a slob, won't sleep in the same bed, etc., etc. My brother would get rid of her, except she would take him to the cleaners. I honestly wouldn't get one of these if she turned out to be the last woman on earth, I kid you not! Also, this is a total myth about these women being subservient, trust me, they are anything but! They will make your life hell from the moment you put a ring on their finger. DO YOUR HOMEWORK!!!!!

by Anonymousreply 15211/09/2013

Why would a man want some woman who is looking for a green card and will dump his ass and take his money at the first opportunity?

by Anonymousreply 15311/09/2013

I once read about this guy who got married to a woman from Ghana, she let her family come over and they more or less bullied him out of his own home.

by Anonymousreply 15411/09/2013

I knew a guy who got one from South Korea. This "submissive" wife turned out to be a money and status obsessed shrew. All her friends were Korean, they were all constantly comparing their material possessions, and she came up short. The others all drove Mercedes, wore designer clothes, lived in mansions, she lived with a middle class guy who didn't care about possessions. He spent all his time out of the house with the kids to get away from her.

Years later, his brother wanted to buy a Filipina prostitute. He took too long to bring her over, and the girl's father told him other men were waiting if he didn't take her now. Somehow this guy had deluded himself into thinking the girl wasn't still hooking, when plainly she was supporting her whole family. The father thought this guy was rich and the whole family's future meal ticket. He really didn't have much money, and was never going to be able to afford their delusions of grandeur. His brother threatened to disown him if he went through with it. Never heard the rest.

by Anonymousreply 15511/09/2013

Husband's friend from high school did this--not fat or socially awkward, but never went to college and his "recreational" substance use really walks the tightrope between partying and abuse. Ultimately, he just didn't quite make the same life transitions as the rest of the kids from their upper-middle class community, and ended up marrying a Russian woman who was living here as a resident alien when they first met. It ended after two years with the usual story: green card acquired, divorce acquired, his assets acquired, him discarded. He's bitter, but even he doesn't pretend to be a victim.

by Anonymousreply 15611/09/2013

My longtime friend is a Wall Street take-charge type who like many men loves power. Unlike many straight men he also loves drama and intrigue.

He reveled in paying tens of thousands of dollars to release his Russian bride from her mafia strip club "contract." Loved the sleaze and danger of the process.

After years of insecurity and neglect, the bride's now teenage (very cute) son is troubled. He has been arrested on days like Thanksgiving or his mother's birthday. The bride alternately pulls him in and pushes him out of her life depending on whether my friend is in the mood to make stern but loving "fatherly" lectures, stage dramatic interventions, or just retreat in boredom from a complex and sad situation.

Their arguments are multi-stepped, flamboyant and operatic. Their sex probably is too.

The wife can actually be very sweet, sincere and simple in the best way. Their marriage seems to have heightened his cynicism, if this were possible.

by Anonymousreply 15711/09/2013

My ex's brother married a Russian woman he 'met' through a service in the early 1990s. They met face-to-face in Helsinki and were engaged within a week.

She arrived in the US several weeks later on a 'fiancee' visa and they were married within 3 months. The day after she received her full citizenship she filed for divorce.

by Anonymousreply 15811/09/2013

I had a work colleague friend who married one from Russia. Shocked us all. We had assumed he was too uptight and too far in the closet . He was major OCD. Would drive home at lunch to take a BM because he would not use the toilets at the office. Well she moved into his all white and immaculate house and lasted about a yr.

by Anonymousreply 15911/09/2013

"I get the feeling some DL'ers don't know how completely hopeless life is for millions of poor women around the world. Even a life taking care of a 90-year-old, 700 pound man in America can look like a huge ray of hope if you've never had safe water to drink, never had 4 real walls around you, and never had the opportunity to go to school."

Apparently, YOU don't know what life is like for the poorest women in the world, because if you did you would know that they are not in Russia or the Phillipines. These countries are RELATIVELY poorer than the U.S., and it is that relative economic advantage that mail-order bride shoppers leverage; but these are not countries where the average woman lives without safe drinking water or "4 real walls." You're displaying your American ignorance and assumption that everyone outside the U.S. is living in the direst poverty.

The reality is that the men involved are seeking the women they find attractive/fetishize (i.e., Asians or blondes) who will also be economically vulnerable and thus controllable; the women are seeking better economic opportunities than they would have at home. These men are not shopping for brides in Mali or Bangladesh and the brides involved are rarely if ever the poorest of the poor, scraping at death's door from starvation and untreated measles. Like many fraus you assume that anyone doing sex work must be a "slave" who has been forced by either a monstrous pimp or desperate hunger into selling their precious bodies. But sometimes it's a matter of wanting the opportunity to go to graduate school or to provide the family with a new addition to the house and a 60" tv. Your values are not universal.

As you well know there are homeless women right here in the U.S. Unfortunately, they rarely have the youth or "look" these men seek, they often come with children who can't be conveniently left behind in the home country, and they still have that pesky citizenship to fall back on if the relationship doesn't work out.

by Anonymousreply 16011/09/2013

My now deceased neighbor went to the Philippines and got himself a Senorita, as he called her. She was about 40 years old and never married. There was a reason she was never married.

Burt weighed 400 hundred pounds or more. He was a crazy old fucker and she was equally insane. Three times a day you could smell the garlic frying in oil that preceded everything she cooked. The fish heads she sucked on smelled.Burt died about 20 years later. He didn't have much but he had several retirement checks plus social security. She sold the house, it was junk by then and was the beneficiary of all of his retirement. She moved back to the Philippines, because there, she was a rich widow with a good income for life. He told me he fucked her every day. If that is true, she earned every dime of it.

I hated her and she knew it, but she sure could cook. Best spring rolls I have ever eaten.

by Anonymousreply 16111/09/2013

A divorced colleague from work had a russian blonde flown over and lived with him for awhile. I couldn't wrap my head around it - he was extremely attractive, very fit and a super nice guy. (around 37 or 38).

He was definitely shy although it wasn't severe - he looked you in the eye and had a good sense of humor. Maybe he was more socially awkward than I realized - I dunno. He already had 3 kids from his previous marriage, so it's not like he wanted more kids.

She was around 20 or so and drop dead gorgeous but their maturity levels were so far off. She was still a kid.

I don't know what happened but I could not believe this sexy sweet man could not get a woman here.

I guess quiet softspoken men are very easily overlooked in our society.

by Anonymousreply 16211/09/2013

R160, There is a saying in the Soviet Union that "A man need to be only better looking than a monkey." Many totally unrealistic straights have convinced themselves that they "deserve" beautiful arm candy, just like in the movies. Of course they expect their Barbie Dolls to adhere to their taste in music and entertainment, while not having to spend Hefner amounts of money on them. Mail order companies sell a fantasy when dating sites disappoint.

by Anonymousreply 16311/09/2013

[quote]There is a saying in the Soviet Union

Are you posting from 1980?

by Anonymousreply 16411/09/2013

You mean on Amazon?

by Anonymousreply 16511/09/2013

I had a v. boring co-worker for two years whose bride was from Thailand and didn't speak a word of French. She doesn't work and doesn't leave the house much.

As for him, he's slightly overweight, greasy, and just very, very boring.

by Anonymousreply 16611/09/2013

R165 Can you get free two-day shipping with Prime?

by Anonymousreply 16711/09/2013

Great post, R160. These women are not starving, most are ambitious, gold-diggers who have dreams of becoming rich, or "rich" compared to their friends and family back home.

You never see mail order brides from Africa or India where 'true' grinding poverty exists.

by Anonymousreply 16811/10/2013

reply 60

im considering it myself...a russian girl that is..and im neither stupid nor deluded.tats why god invented the prenup lol.besides ive payed for ass before i cant see any reason not to go the extra mile and get some in house ass lol.if all she does if stick around for the greencard and split well so be it...i knew what i was getting in to.but if i get lucky and she sticks around and i get the family and love and the whole 9...even think of it like pussy loto gotta have a sense of humor about the whole thing going in or whats the point?

by Anonymousreply 16911/22/2013

The men are looking for women who want to marry for money. That's more common than you'd think, some men don't want to contribute anything to the relationship except money, so they genuinely want gold-diggers.

Where these guys go wrong, is that they think that the money he'll put into the relationship will be enough!

If she wants nothing but money, she isn't going to be content with the allowance he gives her, she's going to want to spend his retirement funds, get the house in a divorce, or dump him for a richer guy. It's only logical, and these socially deficiently guys generally pride themselves on their "logical thinking".

by Anonymousreply 17011/22/2013

How do you know that the men aren't tired of their mail order brides after a year or so, when they get their green cards?

A friend of a friend, who knew some Spanish, was introduced through work connections to a much younger, far out of his expected reach, attractive girl in Mexico. He gave her parents enough money to buy a pay telephone service, essentially setting them up in a small business.

He also set up his new young wife in her own cleaning service. She of course agreed to cook and give him a bj 4 times a week or when requested for one year, until she got her green card. They were reportedly both happy with the arrangement.

by Anonymousreply 17111/22/2013

How many stamps do you need for a mail order bride?

by Anonymousreply 17211/22/2013

You would not believe the number of physically and socially unattractive and unappealing men, with very little to offer on any level, and who cannot compromise on anything, who refuse to accept the fact that they can't get a young, beautiful girl to have sex with them whenever and however they desire, without spending a lot of money. I don't know if the straight porn world is to blame, or that older and divorced men re-entering the dating world can't realize that women who are self-supporting are far more picky.

LOL at the poster up thread who thinks that totally delusional males will look inside themselves and make adjustments, or even change their expectations. More likely they'll be more aggressive in trying to locate their ultimate fantasy.

by Anonymousreply 17311/22/2013

Lots of men are turned off by fat American women.

by Anonymousreply 17411/22/2013

R174 And you really think all these "beautiful" women are turned on by fat American men? Please! If you want someone attractive you need to be attractive yourself. Like attracts like.

by Anonymousreply 17511/22/2013

R175, That's exactly my point. Many straight men are shocked when they are judged on their own physical appearance, grooming, dress, etc. Partly for fun and because I was curious, I put an ad on OKCupid, included a few bikini shots, and stated my measurements.

Literally flooded with responses, I started meeting men for lunch. A few of them were grossly overweight but I ignored it, trying to be very polite. Sure enough they started complaining about previous dates that were somewhat heavy. Then they started to put me down for silly reasons, especially when other men in the restaurant took note of my mini-skirt.

by Anonymousreply 17611/22/2013

"Why would a man want some woman who is looking for a green card and will dump his ass and take his money at the first opportunity?"

Desperation. Sheer desperation. It's amazing what some men will do just to have a woman around. Same with women, although I don't think I've ever heard of mail-order husbands. I've heard a lot of internet dating services where poor lonely women get bilked out of their money by some slick creeps who say "I love you. I want to be with you. But I'm in a bad financial situation now. Could you send me some money to help me get back on my feet?" Some people will do anything for love and/or sex. Con artists adore people like that. It keeps them in business.

by Anonymousreply 17711/23/2013

My ex has been married four times. I was the lucky first, lol. I dumped him, for the record. He used me as a trophy and loved other men looking at me. He even would have me sit at a bar and watch men approach me. It gave him a thrill to come over to claim me. F-ing sick.

His fourth wife is from China and is 28 yrs younger than him. He lied about his age by ten years when they were communicating by internet. When she saw the ole geezer, she questioned him. He said the agency made a mistake by 10 yrs on his personal data (not true). She suggested he meet her sister, as she is a bit older than her. He refused and said he would stay on his own. She did not want to let this sucker go, the lovely lady wanted to give it a try. He ended up bringing her back to the US.

He loved bragging about her and their sex life (on Facebook, no lie ;). He sent her right off to English class, got her SS card and green card. She went to work right away in a nail shop and made many new friends. She became a citizen in October and not even two weeks later.......I read that he was arrested for Domestic Abuse. I think he is in for some money loss now. I kind of feel bad but, he is so foolish and narcissistic. He really does not have immense wealth but, does own a home, car and is collecting SS.

Foolish may think you're hot in your mid-sixties but, wake up and smell the roses before you get 'got' by some pretty little China doll or any other green car scrambler.

by Anonymousreply 17811/29/2013

Thought I would post a reply because most of the posts are from people second hand .Rather than someone who has had a "mail order bride" probably the first thing is really the definition of mail order bride . Some people will tend to use an agency like the literal name i.e I am going to order myself a bride and have her delivered to my country . A step up from this is of course writing to see if there is a connection then go meet the girl and maybe take it further. The mail order bride name infers no real effort on the part of the prospective groom and while I don't dispute it is the case in many cases it seems like there is an inference that most of the men bar a few could not get a woman any other way . Generalizations like this are neither accurate nor fair . The same way that someone who doesn't believe in divorce could say that divorcee's are losers who couldn't keep a marriage together and are probably one or more of cheaters,alcoholics,druggies,abusers,molesters etc take your pick . Just remember bad news tends to get reported more than good

by Anonymousreply 17912/15/2013

My friend's an ancle founded his wife at and they are happy together for 4 years (from friend's world)

by Anonymousreply 18007/19/2014


by Anonymousreply 18109/16/2014

There are also a lot of never-married/divorced, middle-aged women who go on holiday to exotic countries in order to pick up a young stud. I think this is going to happen more and more. Usually the men know the mail-order brides are only after their money, but they simply don't care. Men aren't that big on 'love'. Women, on the other hand, genuinely seem to believe the younger men are attracted to/in love with them, and they are left heartbroken once they discover his true intentions.

by Anonymousreply 18209/16/2014

I went to school with a Thai girl whose stepdad I suspected was one of those. He was much older, white, fat and fug, compared to her mother. My friend didn't seem to like him and was more into her bio father who lived back in Thailand.

by Anonymousreply 18309/16/2014

I think if straight men were so pragmatic about the mail order brides true intentions we wouldn't see so many stories of them ending up in domestic violence shelters and/or dead, r182.They were pretty much the reason that the VAWA was enacted. People don't tend to be practical when their emotions are involved, no matter what they say.

by Anonymousreply 18409/16/2014

With gay marriage and all, is it possible to bring a husband in?

by Anonymousreply 18509/16/2014

Yes R185

by Anonymousreply 18609/16/2014
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