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Once we were babies

and all of us grew up to be adults who have sex. When you were a kid, when did you realize this was in your future? It really is bizarre, isn't it, that this pursuit would become a drive?

by Umpyreply 4506/26/2013

We love you, (G)(R)Umpy. You're a bit on the strange side, but we love you.

by Umpyreply 106/14/2011

And I remember as a kid not being able to relax if I was sticky from candy or the adhesive from price tags.

by Umpyreply 206/14/2011

Somebody check this guy in already.

by Umpyreply 306/14/2011

Speak for yourself, r1.

by Umpyreply 406/14/2011

homo or hetero -it doesn't matter. But it is weird.

by Umpyreply 506/14/2011

How's Tammy doing, G/R/Umpy?

by Umpyreply 606/14/2011

I hated the idea of having sex then, I hate sex now.

by Umpyreply 706/14/2011

When I realized I was different and that all the representations of us on the news were of perverts being arrested and demonized. I realized then sex was going to be a problem for me.

by Umpyreply 806/14/2011

I fear Tammy has been touched inappropriately. You just know he explores her body.

by Umpyreply 906/14/2011

And some of us grew up to be stank-ass bums in the public library

I'm so fucking high right now

by Umpyreply 1006/14/2011

Awww, grumpy.

by Umpyreply 1106/14/2011

G/R/Umpy, does it bother you that people care more about Tammy?

by Umpyreply 1206/14/2011

I've thought the same, OP. it's very weird. You look at babies on the street and think they're going to be sex-obsessed adults someday. It's gross.

by Umpyreply 1306/14/2011


by Umpyreply 1406/14/2011

Tammy's poor mini-vag is probably torn up already. Too late for Tammy. Too late, Tammy.

by Umpyreply 1506/14/2011

I have never said anything as gross and hateful as the things you all are saying about my cat. Compared to some of you people, I am the picture of mental health.%0D %0D But is weird to think that if Tammy were out in the wild, she would be fucking around, having litters of kittens.

by Umpyreply 1606/14/2011

R13? Only the males.

by Umpyreply 1706/14/2011

Grumpy, even if she is an indoor cat, Tammy should be spayed. It will make her more content. If you can't afford, there are spay/neuter clinics that cost very little.%0D %0D And I agree that the things people are saying about Tammy are unkind and unfair.%0D %0D Maybe I missed out, but what happened at your job after you made the comments about the baby?

by Umpyreply 1806/14/2011

Tammy is spade, she came from the shelter that way. And we're current on our rabie shots, vaccinations, etc.%0D %0D Our dept head said he would have to write me up for abusive language, but I apologized, again, to her and she dropped it. So all I got was a verbal warning and nothing went in my HR file.

by Umpyreply 1906/14/2011

%0D [quote]I have never said anything as gross and hateful as the things you all are saying about my cat.%0D %0D No one has said anything gross and hateful about Tammy. %0D %0D We're saying it about you, Tardumpy.

by Umpyreply 2006/14/2011

It's SPAYED, you idiot.

by Umpyreply 2106/14/2011

I know Tammy personally and she is always rubbing her vagine and clitori against my feet.%0D %0D She is certainly not spayed.%0D %0D

by Umpyreply 2206/14/2011


by Umpyreply 2306/14/2011

This is a sloppy sex post. Keep my angelic cat out of it.

by Umpyreply 2406/14/2011

What is the deal with the cat? I have searched and cannot find a thread about Rumpys cat?

by Umpyreply 2506/14/2011

Your cat takes it in the rear.

by Umpyreply 2606/14/2011

Is Tammy still alive?

by Umpyreply 2712/31/2012

[quote]all of us grew up to be adults who have sex

What an odd thing to say.

by Umpyreply 2812/31/2012

When a child I used to think how old I would be in 2000. Now I am even older!

by Umpyreply 2901/01/2013

Some babies actually grow up to accomplish much more than just having sex.

by Umpyreply 3001/01/2013

OP: It's a gradual process. You don't often wake up one day and realize what's in store for you as an adult. You acquire experience and knowledge about life, work, sex, love, finances, friendship, etc., etc. Very little just "dawns" on you.

And by the time you figure it out, sex sometimes becomes less important.

by Umpyreply 3101/01/2013

Tammy jumped out of the car on I-10 when Umpy was moving to Texas. She went splat in the road and an 18-wheeler done her in.

by Umpyreply 3201/01/2013

ever since i was a young boy i was bad to "the bone".

by Umpyreply 3301/01/2013

I find it hard to believe Umpy has ever had sex with another real person.

As for me, I was pleasuring myself to thoughts of Western cowboys and Wally from "Leave it to Beaver" when I was five years old.

by Umpyreply 3401/01/2013

My highschool girlfriend used to say, "When you are pregnant, that's like ADMITTING that you have sex."

I think she is still a virgin, and I'm an elder.

by Umpyreply 3501/01/2013

I liked the way ACT-UP used the depersonalization of gay relationships by describing Nancy Reagan as the woman who stimulates the presidents genitals until he ejaculates.

by Umpyreply 3601/01/2013

[quote]What an odd thing to say.

And yet some tard asshole bumped this ancient dead thread.

by Umpyreply 3701/01/2013

Don't attempt to come off as smart, dear. It'll never work.

by Umpyreply 3801/01/2013

[quote]I find it hard to believe Umpy has ever had sex with another real person.

I find it hard to believe that Umpy ever existed. Isn't his drama a match for the drama that's part of the Galloping Gourmet threads?

by Umpyreply 3901/03/2013

More ignoramus bumping.

by Umpyreply 4001/03/2013

Where is Rumpy, charlie, GG, Dominion W troll?

by Umpyreply 4106/26/2013

[quote]Tammy is spade, she came from the shelter that way.

Sweetie, I'm pretty sure that's one of the things you're not supposed to say anymore. In the future, just stick with "Afro-American" and you should be fine.

Don't feel bad, I'm still learnin' all this mess myself! Ah-HEH-HEH!!

by Umpyreply 4206/26/2013


by Umpyreply 4306/26/2013

R10 w&w!

by Umpyreply 4406/26/2013

People on this site can be so fucking weird, yes I knew as I child that I'd be an adult, sex as I knew then was often a part of adult life.

by Umpyreply 4506/26/2013
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