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Lesbians and frugality

Why are lesbians so tight with money, seems to be the opposite of most gay men. I don't know why lesbians are so cheap but, it sure must make for not such a pleasant way to live having to watch every penny you spend.

by Anonymousreply 15005/20/2017

Because we're poor...?

by Anonymousreply 105/26/2011

Women in general are bad tippers.

by Anonymousreply 205/26/2011

Yes. And that is why we have a thread every other week with some guy saying he is 45 and has no savings or retirement fund.%0D %0D

by Anonymousreply 305/26/2011

I'm a frugal lesbian because I am broke at the moment and so is my GF.. but I think even if I had a lot of money I wouldn't go crazy with it. Donate to more animal charities, maybe. I just want enough to be comfortable and travel regularly. My GF was a server and said that yes lesbians are bad tippers overall. There's also the fact that no lesbian establishments seem to stay in business very long, there are a few exceptions but...

by Anonymousreply 405/26/2011

R3 for the win!

by Anonymousreply 505/26/2011

It is more difficult for women go get good paying jobs. In the work world there is no "brotherhood" that looks out for women out of work who need jobs. Women make less money than men. So motherfucker it is smart for any woman who has some money to be smart with it. Unlike gay men most lesbians don't consider turning tricks a viable way of earning money.

by Anonymousreply 605/26/2011

It's true that this is often the case -- often because lesbians tend to be poorer. But -- like anything -- it depends. I make a good salary and I'm a good tipper. Most of my friends are too. But we are older professionals.

by Anonymousreply 705/26/2011

I always tip 20% because I've worked as a server.

by Anonymousreply 805/26/2011

I live in England. I stopped tipping because employees are paid a decent minimum wage, and tips are taxed (or not fully distributed to serving staff). I also don't tip cab drivers/hair stylists because they charge exorbitant prices. In the US, I tip because it's expected, but I won't give big tips.

The worst tippers I've know are male lawyers.

by Anonymousreply 905/26/2011

OP, you stupid fuck, now is the time that it should dawn on you that women make about 77 cents for every dollar a man makes FOR DOING THE EXACT SAME JOB, you asshole. Plus, you gayboys don't (usually) have children to support, so you can spend all of your extra money that we lesbians don't make on shit for yourselves rather than for your CHILDREN. And one more thing: there is a certain percentage of lesbians who cannot pass for straight. Those women are discriminated against much more than your swishy boys are (just like they are here on DL). I mean, those pretty-boys can always find homes in beauty salons or interior decoration or florist shops that pay pretty well. But straight men don't like to hire butch women as electricians, or plumbers, or other traditionally "male" positions where the pay is high. Now shut the fuck up and bring me my dessert.

by Anonymousreply 1005/26/2011

R10 for the win!

by Anonymousreply 1105/26/2011

r10 confirms another lesbian myth- they are all angry!

by Anonymousreply 1205/26/2011

If you can't afford to tip R9 then you can't afford to go to a restaurant. If you won't tip then you shouldn't go. They will not miss you.

by Anonymousreply 1305/26/2011

I am a lesbian and I am not cheap in the slightest. If I have money, I spend it. If don't...well then Ramen Noodles it is.

You never let anyone know how much you're worth...monetarily.

by Anonymousreply 1405/26/2011

I wish my partner would catch some of this lesbian frugality. She doesn't have it. The UPS boxes arrive daily at the house.

by Anonymousreply 1505/26/2011

I'm the cheapest person I know.

by Anonymousreply 1605/26/2011

r13, loads of people don't tip in England. I can assure you, the service industry certainly would miss the non-tippers.

by Anonymousreply 1705/26/2011

glad i don't know you then, cheap faggot @ r16

cheapness is such an ugly quality, and speaks such volumes about the rest of one's personality. cheapskates are usually: angry all the time; convinced that others are ALWAYS getting more than them; always trying to put one over on others; without sympathy or empathy... and i could go on and on.

by Anonymousreply 1805/26/2011

You're the one that sounds angry, R18.%0D %0D Not to mention that those who stereotype incessantly are the ones who lack sympathy and empathy.

by Anonymousreply 1905/26/2011

My partner and I are spenders, OP. However we still spend below our means. I use to be a frugal lesbian, but that's when I wasn't making much money, so I had to be. I can be frugal when I need to be - I will shop at thrift stores for clothes etc.

But now, I'm in a position where I don't have to do that - I still do on occasion though, because I don't like to over spend if I don't have to - however, if I want something I will spend the money now - as long as I can afford to pay cash/debit. We have zero debt. I use to have a lot of debt, but I paid it all off - so we don't spend what we don't have. I'm also a big saver and I always put money into my savings. My partner has large savings as well.

Life is short. It costs money to do things. We love to travel, spend on dinners, weekend getaways etc. We also want to live nicely when we are older and when we start a family (hence the importance of our savings accounts and investments)

I am not going to penny pinch when it comes to living life. not going to happen.

I also tip a minimum of 20% (I use to wait tables when I was a student, and would never not take care of the wait staff) If you can't afford to tip - don't go out.

I also agree with R10. In general lesbians make less money, and if you are label lesbians and cheapness - Most of my lesbian friends spent their 20's getting advanced degrees, and racking up student loans and paying for college. They had other expenses, and less disposable income - that plus a smaller salary (for some occupations, that is). Hence they would appear to not spend as much.

by Anonymousreply 2005/26/2011

How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? answer: none, lebians are too cheap to pay the utility bill.

by Anonymousreply 2105/26/2011

I am floored that people in England do not tip their servers. Don't make excuses for your selfishness R9. You are already a cheapskate. Don't be a hypocrite too. %0D %0D It is true that women were the worst tippers when I worked in restaurants years ago. Teachers were poor tippers as well. I don't know how much this has changed.%0D %0D

by Anonymousreply 2205/26/2011

R13 and R22, be careful about viewing UK practices through the lens of American capitalist culture. In the US, servers are paid diddly-squat, and people are well aware of this, hence there is the expectation that generous tipping make up for the inequities of the system. In the UK however, servers can earn a reasonably decent hourly rate.

by Anonymousreply 2305/26/2011

r22, please explain why I am exactly a 'cheapskate' and a 'hypocrite'? In England, staff earn a decent minimum wage. Servers do not 'live off tips'. As I explained above, tips are taxed (and it's not uncommon for management to take the tips). You have clearly never visited England - if so, you'd know good restaurants also levy service charges.

by Anonymousreply 2405/27/2011

R12 confirms another gayboy myth - they are all illiterate!%0D

by Anonymousreply 2505/27/2011

An unusual number of lesbian acquaintances seem a bit long-winded in the justification of their expenditures, volunteering --with no provocation-- a sort of Consumer Reports rundown of the pros and cons and the decision-making for any purchase or expense. %0D %0D I've known a good many lesbians who like to barter everything, trading legal services of a professional incorporation for a new garage roof, and other oddly dissimilar exchanges. Sometimes the barter stemmed from one or more of the of the parties not having ready money, but usually not. Some of the well-off women who liked bartering took it to an extreme. They could not ask for the least favor without some sort of exchange ("If you take my empty glass on your way to the kitchen, I'll give some tomatoes from my garden.") %0D %0D I've known a handful of old money lesbians who never, ever mention money; and a few others who have perfected the "poor mouth," cultivating an impression of near dire poverty when the truth is quite contrary.%0D %0D I've not known any lesbians who were unusually tight with their money, though the bartering thing always struck me as odd, especially among professional women who could as easily (or easier) just pay for things. %0D %0D From my experience, lesbians have been a bit more upfront about money (excepting the Old Money women who behave just like Old Money men), more so than gay men who are likelier to cultivate an impression --often false-- of "look, I have so much money I can throw it away without thought." %0D %0D

by Anonymousreply 2605/27/2011

[quote]There's also the fact that no lesbian establishments seem to stay in business very long, there are a few exceptions but...%0D %0D Well, if the owners run their businesses the way that Michfest is run, they are doomed.

by Anonymousreply 2705/27/2011

So that explains nutloaves: nuts are cheaper than meat - thus nutloaves instead meatloaves.

by Anonymousreply 2805/27/2011

Most lesbians are overweight so they gotta eat somewhere, if it's not out as restuarants, then it must be at home where it's cheaper to eat.

by Anonymousreply 2905/27/2011

Women usually make less many than men because they don't ask for it.

by Anonymousreply 3005/27/2011

I thought lesbians already had a pair.

by Anonymousreply 3105/27/2011

I cherish my cheapness, R18, because it keeps me out of trouble. For instance, I LOVE to shop, and my determination to get bargains not only keeps me solvent, it keeps my house from filling in with lovely little things I just couldn't resist. %0D %0D And FYI I'm a generous tipper.

by Anonymousreply 3205/27/2011

Most lesbians have no sense of style & don't care what they wear. I'm sure the same goes for food too.

by Anonymousreply 3305/28/2011

My partner and I are both doctors and are not frugal, especially with gifts for friends. We are good tippers (having been servers in college) and outstanding cooks. But, we do tend to hang out with gay male friends more than lesbian friends because of the trends mentioned above by others.

by Anonymousreply 3405/28/2011

r34 did you recently win The Amazing Race?

by Anonymousreply 3505/28/2011

I knew a woman in rural Pennsylvania who always tipped 10%. As a grab bag gift I gave her a card showing tips for 15% or 20% based on the meal. Now she tips 20%

by Anonymousreply 3605/28/2011

this thread is alarmingly sexist.

by Anonymousreply 3705/28/2011

I like lesbins but, will not go to a restuarant with one because I know they won't tip or tip too little and it's just too embarrassing.

by Anonymousreply 3805/28/2011

Lesbians don't like to spend money, it's just that simple, that's why they dress the way they do.

by Anonymousreply 3905/29/2011

It's not that they are cheap it's that they are poor. Straight women only have money because men pay for there shit. Lesbians have to split everything.

by Anonymousreply 4005/29/2011

r40, it's "their" not "there"

by Anonymousreply 4105/29/2011

I am a lesbian, and I always tip at least 20%. Generalize and stereotype much, OP?

by Anonymousreply 4205/29/2011

I find it sad that people have to defend how much they tip. I find it somewhat offensive that I am expected to tip regardless of the quality of service I receive. I tip very well for excellent service but usually 10% for poor service. I would prefer not to tip bad serves at all but because of stereotypes (I am African-American) I feel that it would be assumed that the reason I did not tip was because I was cheap not because the service was inadequate.

by Anonymousreply 4305/29/2011

@R43 why do you care what other people think? That's your great mistake. People are always going to think whatever they want regardless of your behaviour.

by Anonymousreply 4405/29/2011

Yeah r43, I bet in your mind the service is always "inadequate".

by Anonymousreply 4505/29/2011

I hope r10 dies a miserable death and spends eternity in hell having to alternate between sucking a smelly diseased cock and being a waitress to condescending miserable old dykes bc that's what she deserves.

by Anonymousreply 4605/29/2011

Old lesbians are really tight.

by Anonymousreply 4705/30/2011

In spite of that fabulous disposable income we're all supposed to have because we don't have children or responsibilities, gay people earn less than our straight counterparts. That's homophobia at work. And lesbians earn even less--homophobia + sexism. %0D %0D %0D Why do you think more women are working more now than men? Because employers can get away with paying them less. One step forward, several steps back.

by Anonymousreply 4805/30/2011

The cheapest person I've ever met in my entire life is my partner's sister and she is straight.

She likes the high life, so she will engage in all kinds of sex acts for dinner at an expensive restaurant, a vintage bottle of wine, a vacation somewhere warm. And she's 60 years old. She looks good for 60, but she's a nasty bitch, especially to other women. I know she allowed a rich lesbian to take her around for awhile, but it was purely mercenary, not a matter of orientation.

She finds ugly men who are lonely and who happen to have money. You'd be surprised how many men have put away quite a lot if money over the years. Lots of them did it illegally -- skimming from businesses, not paying taxes, setting up small shell companies, selling all kinds of things that fell off trucks.

This woman has not only never paid for her own dinner, she has never paid for her own lunch or breakfast either. Never paid for a vacation, but travels internationally at least twice a year. Lives for free with her very elderly parents and fully intends to inherit their house when they die. Fully intends to then find a roommate (or bf or husband) who will pay taxed and utilities.

She's been married twice. No human, besides her elderly parents, can put up with her for long. Thank god for her there is the Internet. Endless lonely, ugly straight men with enough money to take nice vacations where they can get their cocks sucked and engage in anal -- with a middle-aged female trick.

by Anonymousreply 4905/30/2011

You should write a book about your partner's sister, r49. It could be the Anti-Mame.

by Anonymousreply 5005/30/2011

I actually think that some people just don't know how much they should give. I've been out with people, men and women, gay and straight over the age of 50 who make good money who think that 15% is a good tip. They are calculating to the exact amount to give 15%. I'm like lets just double the tax, which is 9.9x here in Los Angeles and that's not their old school way. I've done the old, oh I left my...so I could go back and leave a few more dollars.%0D %0D In my head you should give at least 17% for adequate service and 20% for good service. 15% is for shitty service-because you did not have to make the food yourself and there are no dishes to do. The price of eating out.

by Anonymousreply 5105/30/2011

R45, your comment was uncalled for and racist.

by Anonymousreply 5205/30/2011

Often I leave a tips such as writing on the bill:

get a new hairstyle

look for a better paying job


My advice is worth more than any pittance of a monetary tip.

by Anonymousreply 5305/30/2011

My partner's sister and her fellow lesbian are the meanest people living. They'll drive around town trying to find the cheapest place to get gas, even though they've probably spent more driving from place to place than they would ever save. They love it when they get what they perceive to be bad service so they can complain (loudly) and demand free stuff in return.

One time, they bought bacon and found that instead of the advertised 10 slices, there were 9 in the pack. They wrote a strongly worded letter of complaint demanding to be reimbursed the cost of the one piece piece of bacon.

Unfortunately for them, they googled the wrong brand new for the corporate address and the empty box they sent was returned to them with a note saying they should redirect their complaint to the right company! Lol

Miserable fuckers!

by Anonymousreply 5405/30/2011

R54, You hit the nail on the head, that describes your typical lesbian.

by Anonymousreply 5506/01/2011

My experience (shopbottoming during college) was a little different, R55.

Lesbians tended to be pretty low maintenance, but they were often kind of taciturn -- unless it was a couple was shopping together, in which case they would both still mostly ignore me, but then be frequently weirdly intense with each other.

Gay guys were usually much higher maintenance and much more prone to complaining.

by Anonymousreply 5606/01/2011


by Anonymousreply 5706/01/2011

Yea, lezbians are low maintenace because all they care about is saving and have no other interests,

by Anonymousreply 5806/07/2011

not true, r58- they like golf!

by Anonymousreply 5906/07/2011

Why are they all so angry? THERE'S a question for the ages!

by Anonymousreply 6006/07/2011

I think it's a bit of a perception. Often lesbians do not buy all the fru fru associated with glam women, I am overstating- clothes, shoes, jewelry etc. Of course some do- I know some very glam spenders in the Hamptons. But the appearance of not wearing $1000 all the time makes someone look frugal. Actually they might be buying many other things- tech gadgets, furniture, charity tickets, gifts, travel, you name it. One of my very best friends- to look at her you would think she and her partner were tightwads. They live and dress modestly for their means... but if you know more- you know they travel where and whenever they want- there homes are very modest, but they have 3 of them- they love charity and spread their money around- oh they spend. Just not on what people who spend often do- clothes etc.

by Anonymousreply 6106/07/2011

Yea, they spend it on shovel, hoe and overalls.

by Anonymousreply 6206/17/2011

Well darling I must be an exception as I'm a very rich lesbian. I splash the cash left right and centre. I have two homes, a fancy pants car, numerous diamonds and a sex toy collection to put any nympho to shame. Oh and I have the beautiful professional gf to match.


ps. had a riot of a laugh looking at http menwholooklikeoldlesbians blogspot com - take a look and piss yourself laughing!

by Anonymousreply 6312/01/2011

I am a frugal Lesbian (paying off student loan debt), but I always tip service workers who try their best. If the service worker cannot accept a tip but did well, like with a bagboy, I will take a moment to call or e mail the manager and speak nicely of them. I had a lot of crap jobs when I was younger and have been there and done that with service industry work.

I know of a famous Lesbian (actress, will not say who) who is frugal but in a sweet way. She was a kind and dutiful daughter to her parents. Her father (RIP) had a neurological disease for many years and he never had to worry about his medical bills ever. And her mother (RIP) fell ill in quite the sudden way.

She is frugal in a sweet way because, for example, she did not have a TiVo or cable with a DVR. She figured that her VCR was good enough and decided to use it until it no longer worked and then she would upgrade. This was a few short years ago by the way.

We are not all more frugal than though for shits and giggles, everyone.

by Anonymousreply 6412/01/2011

though = thou... if one types while sipping on bourbon that is.

by Anonymousreply 6512/01/2011

You are stereotyping, I am sure a lot of lesbians aren't frugal.

Personally, I am because I don't like spending money and I don't like having a lot of things.

by Anonymousreply 6612/01/2011

Could somebody start a "cheapest tipper I know" thread?

Cause my cheapest tipper was a straight guy.

Drives me crazy, I always leave a little extra when we leave the table.

by Anonymousreply 6712/01/2011

I overspend like mad. What is your opinion based on, OP?

by Anonymousreply 6812/01/2011

I'm in the UK and I never tip. Service here is so shit I've never had the urge to do so. Perhaps if we reduced our minimum wage for waiters/waitresses and they actually had to 'earn' their tips then I'd re-think my whole policy. I visited New York a couple of years back and enjoyed tipping 20% as the service was really worth it. Having somebody pay attention and give good service is fantastic, whereas at home it's a bunch of couldn't care less/snotty nosed bores who'd rather be somewhere else. And when the cheque comes they hover expectantly. As if.

by Anonymousreply 6912/01/2011

Lesbians are full of excuses. Why they don't tip, why they're still in the closet, and on and on and on.

It gets tiresome, ladies. People like R10 are stuck in a 1975 mentality.

by Anonymousreply 7012/01/2011

[quote]Unlike gay men most lesbians don't consider turning tricks a viable way of earning money.

Are you mentally impaired?

by Anonymousreply 7112/01/2011


I love angry lesbians...

by Anonymousreply 7212/01/2011

[quote]Lesbians are full of excuses

No more than some gay men are full of shit

by Anonymousreply 7312/01/2011

Lucy J.

Your story is simply anecdotal.

Lesbians are cheap (and oftentimes rude about it).

by Anonymousreply 7412/01/2011

I bet R74 is a veggie that eats skip food and has dreads because she can't be arsed to develop a hairstyle.

You're just incredulous to my being a rich lesbian. Well so sorry to shock you darling but some of us really do exist.


ps. I know you're hot for me and just wanted to get my attention you saucy minx....

by Anonymousreply 7512/01/2011

That's right R74, because this thread is all about fact & evidence.

by Anonymousreply 7612/01/2011

I worked as a waitress during college and say what you like about women tippers, it was minorities who gave the worst tips.

by Anonymousreply 7712/01/2011

Lucy really is fucking fantastic, even though she would probably think I'm trash in real life.

by Anonymousreply 7812/01/2011

Gays like to act like stereotypical wives - spend, spend, spend. That's why they focus on clothes and eating out.

Lesbians tend to act like stereotypical fathers - squeeze the last drop out of the toothpaste tube and resent spending any money. That's why they like dressing in old flannel and staying at home.

by Anonymousreply 7912/01/2011

Ugh. Tiresome. My partner and I both spend it as fast as we make it - and we make decent money. We have student loans but no kids. We're both in a profession where we will likely be able to work as long as we want - most of our older colleagues don't fully retire until 75 or so. We will probably inherit some, too, though not much.

I watched my father worry away the best years of his life responsibly socking away money for his retirement and he doesn't have much better of a life than my mother, who is a spendthrift, because he's not healthy enough to enjoy travel. We like to travel, so we go places. We both had shitty jobs that left us barely scraping by, so we tip well, but we tend to frequent the same restaurants where they know us and the service is always good.

It's also not clear to me that the world as we know it will actually be here in 30 years, when I'm of retirement age. I would like to have good memories and am willing to pay for them. We also like jewelry. It's too much work to be cheap.

by Anonymousreply 8012/01/2011

I can be cheap, but I am trying to save money, I consider it to be 'practical' at the moment. In any case, I am far more generous than any Canadian I have ever met. My partner is the most generous person I know and she never has any bloody money because of it. Still, it's a nice trait. I would rather be with someone generous who enjoys life than with a tightwad.

by Anonymousreply 8112/01/2011

Who the hell bumped this thread?

by Anonymousreply 8212/01/2011

That would . . . (bump) . . .be me.

by Anonymousreply 8312/02/2011

This thread needs to die. It's brought out a lot of ugliness I'd rather not read.

by Anonymousreply 8412/02/2011

Former waiter/bartender here. In my experience, lesbians with money were fabulous tippers and a joy to wait on.

When they didn't have money? It was the worst. Somewhat like what another poster described - they ran you ragged, complained a lot and left shitty tips.

Though to be honest, I waited on more than my share of gay men with money who were totally cheap, high-maintenance and left shitty tips. It can be hard to typify.

by Anonymousreply 8512/02/2011

OP, yours is the same attitude Dick Cheney has about...everyone outside of his country club.

by Anonymousreply 8612/02/2011

I'm a lesbian femme in Vancouver Canada. I'm not cheap, I own a business, I have assets and passive income. I have a nice house and drive a luxury car. Im not out there coz i really ddnt like to hang out with heavy drinker and pot head lesbians. and Unfortunately, it's a little difficult to date someone who is decent and earn a good living. I realized later on just to find someone who is loving and caring and has great values in life... Still looking.....

by Anonymousreply 8710/19/2012

Maybe if you weren't a tiresome bore about your assets, not to mention a thread bumper, you'd have found someone by now...

by Anonymousreply 8810/20/2012

That's Vancouverites for you ... lots of fun.

by Anonymousreply 8910/20/2012

[quote]In the work world there is no "brotherhood" that looks out for women out of work who need jobs.

Yeah, um, Newsflash: there's no "brotherhood" like that for men, either. Unless you're a card-carrying member of the good ol' boys network, which limits it's members to rich, conservative white men who all know one another. Regular working Joes need not apply.

Plenty of men are out of work. This last recession disproportionately affected young men.

by Anonymousreply 9010/20/2012

They are so tight. I will never get in a round with a lesbian in the pub cos they never never buy you a drink back but are always happy to sponge of other

by Anonymousreply 9111/11/2012

There is a major difference between being cheap and frugal. Frugality is the art of minimizing lavishness, extravagance and excessive consumption meaning; caring more about the value of something, while being cheap mainly depends on caring about the price. I am a frugal person, because I am very responsible. When I want to purchase something, I rarely act spontaneously, I always ponder whether it is a NEED or a WANT. If it falls into the range of a want, I let the desire to purchase marinade for a while. If I still like it after a certain time, I guess I must really like it that bad, and would go ahead and purchase it as a treat. I am a 28 year old physical therapist making $90,000 a year, I max out my company's 401k match, I have liquid savings and I have a Roth IRA account. I decided to purchase a Mazda 3 for $19,000 rather than purchasing a $45,000 BMW. Can I afford a $45,000 dollar car? Sure. It doesn't mean I should. Plus, with the high depreciation rate of cars and the high insurance cost of a luxury car, it is just not worth it. I am not in the race to impress other people regarding material possessions.

by Anonymousreply 9211/20/2012

ALL women are bad tippers and frugal -- to an extent.

Lesbians tend to be good tippers!

by Anonymousreply 9311/20/2012

For the past year, I've been wondering if I'm part lesbian (bisexual). I guess this confirms that I'm not, since I love to spend money so much. Glad that's resolved.

by Anonymousreply 9411/20/2012

Good for you R92!

by Anonymousreply 9511/20/2012

LOL describes Occupy Wall Street liberals r18

by Anonymousreply 9611/20/2012

My sentiments exactly r92, and I am an older gay male. The thing is, I have always made, on average only a little over $20,000/year yet I have managed to save a decent enough nest egg, partly from living with my parents until my 30s and partly from believing that before you buy something consider the want versus need idea but also whether you have something already that can fill the bill, that's what frugality is about. It is also about not wasting any food whatsoever if you can help it and that means developing a talent for using and/or remaking leftovers into other tasty dishes--casseroles, omelets, salads, etc. Essentially it is all about the three Rs--Reduce, Re-use and Recycle or as many in New England say, "use it up and wear it out".

by Anonymousreply 9711/20/2012

My partner and I tip very well; however, in some cases, male waiters reap what they sow. If a male waiter gives us crappy service because he thinks he's going to get a lousy tip, then that's what he'll get because of his terrible attitude and poor assumptions. However, if the male waiter does not put us at an awful table and is a good waiter, then he will get a great tip. So the lesson is, stop making assumptions and just provide great service regardless of gender.

by Anonymousreply 9811/20/2012

Gay male here. I'm very cheap because right now I earn my living as a freelance writer, author, and lecturer and it's very up and down. For instance, in October I earned nearly $20k in speaking fees and in November I earned only $3,500.

Anyway I put myself on a very tight budget because I like to be 6-9 months ahead of myself with rent and expenses and I never really know where the next speaking gig is coming from. They generally spike when I put a book out and my next won't be out for a full year.

Honestly I'd rather live on a budget than go back to a fucking office. I never, ever want to do a 9-5 job again. I'll be frugal if it means keeping me out of an office.

What I don't get is gays who spend spend spend like there's no tomorrow on materialistic bullshit. Vacations I get, but clothes and bags and shoes? I mean who cares? The materialism that is rooted in insecurity and self hate of gay men is something else. The Lesbuns may be able to teach us a thing or two.

by Anonymousreply 9911/20/2012

Ditto 92. Gay male here. My bf and I have done well on low incomes. We own our apt. outright, drive a modest car and have a house in the country. I tip well because I waited tables and bartended. I know a lot of dykes and for the most part none are lousy tippers, but they also aren't hemmoraging money.

by Anonymousreply 10011/20/2012

R99, I am a very poor lesbian who writes. I have written a song that I have not been credited for that was used by a band on a major label, and I currently ghost write for a friend's blog.

How did you get started? I write a lot of non-fiction essays and I am going back to get my Masters in English and Comm next semester doing one class at a time.

I so want to get out of the hell of being at other people's beck and cal in terms of day jobs, and according to everyone around me, including those who use my intellectual property to make money and don't credit me, I have talent. I read constantly and write everyday.

I am willing to work as hard as I need to, but I haven't the foggiest idea how to get started. I have a few connections in New York in publishing, one is a writer for a major daily newspaper, the other is the head editor of a group at a major publishing house. She read one of my short stories once and told the writer for the daily that my writing made her worry about her own writing, which was the highest compliment in a weird way.

Please don't judge me on this post, my writing here is stream of consciousness at best. Any practical ideas would be helpful. TIA.

by Anonymousreply 10111/20/2012

Boys, why don't you discuss something that really concerns you -- like prolapsed anuses, perhaps?

by Anonymousreply 10211/20/2012

Thanks, r90. Good I've boys help if you re Exactly like they are. They still call the damn shots mostly.

by Anonymousreply 10311/20/2012

sorry, typo "beck and call"

also didn't look up whether Master's is plural or possessive. Absolutely drained from the day job switching my schedule on a whim. Forgive me.

by Anonymousreply 10411/20/2012

oops R101 I meant. ACK!!!

by Anonymousreply 10511/20/2012

The gay men I've known make, have and spend a lot more money than the lesbians I've known.

I have no idea why this is, it goes beyond the $.77 on the dollar for women issue. The educational levels for the men are usually higher but, again, I have no idea why this is the case.

I've known quite a few lesbians who worked at pretty low-level, low paying jobs for years and years. It seems almost as if a strong drive towards achievement is lacking but, again, I have no idea why.

by Anonymousreply 10611/20/2012

R105, lesbians have VERY low self esteem. due to rejection in their childhood, most likely perpetuated by their moms

by Anonymousreply 10711/20/2012

Oh, it's best when it's perpetuated by both of your parents, your siblings, and all of your teachers, R107.

by Anonymousreply 10811/20/2012

Most gay men live way past their means just to impresss other guys. Their insecurity will not allow them to be financially responsible.

by Anonymousreply 10911/21/2012

It's important to over-tip as aggressively as possible, ESPECIALLY if you can't afford to.

by Anonymousreply 11011/21/2012

Does my dad sound gay to you?

He buys women's designer sweaters and turtlenecks for himself, as well as handbags if he finds a good deal. He's always worn a feminine bathrobe with women's slippers and buys the women's versions fragrances because "men should be wearing the flowery scents if that's what women are attracted to." His bathroom is decorated with frilly fans that he himself called "a little faggy." His shopping habit has put him tens of thousands of dollars in debt.

Oh, and he squeals and flails like a little girl whenever he drops something, and when he bumps into something he exclaims, "BANGY-WANGY!" His dream job was to be a Broadway musical producer.

The fact that he prefers dark bedsheets and has womanized hundreds of ugly women (and possibly teen girl hookers in countries where it's legal) are the elements that throw me a bit. He's 70 now, though.

I know this is off-topic a bit, but I've never really been able to talk about this with anyone.

by Anonymousreply 11111/21/2012

Every lesbian I know (well, except for a few) have been really awesome but sadly they have to compete in the straight world where women are exceedingly vicious to each other and will try to sabotage and ultimately try to get fired any other woman they perceive as a "threat."

Thus, lesbians have to conserve funds due to unexpected job loss that is prevalent for women in fields typically populated by lesbians - i.e. non-profits, the arts, etc (that are also low-paying fields). Plus, many lesbians are highly educated and thus have to pay off student loans WHILST trying to avoid being fired by jealous females.

by Anonymousreply 11211/21/2012

I'm sorry your anus prolapsed r102. Steer clear off the Michigan Wemyns Fest fisting tent from now on.

by Anonymousreply 11311/21/2012

Maybe you should count your blessings r111, but if you think it could do him some good, try putting him over your knee and go at his ass with a ping pong paddle, maybe it will butch him up.

by Anonymousreply 11411/21/2012

Oh, R114, You're not one of my stepmothers, are you? Anyway, I wouldn't touch my father with a 10-foot oar. He was way abusive, and then when I grew up he took out credit cards in my name and maxed them out.

It's just while we were discussing sexual orientation stereotypes of economic status and finance management, I thought the people of this thread might have some insight. I never was able to figure him out, and wouldn't dare bring it up to mutual acquaintances.

by Anonymousreply 11511/21/2012

Yeah well, now that you put it that way r115, he does sound like some freaky closet case and no I'm not one of your stepmothers but I will say this too, that a "straight" man who can't hang onto a woman and is constantly married and divorced has definite issues. Look at Micky Rooney...on second thought, don't.

by Anonymousreply 11611/21/2012

I am also interested in DL's analysis of r111's fascinating father.

Closeted or just a femmy straight?

by Anonymousreply 11711/21/2012

Maybe he's a straight man with a cross-dressing fetish? '

But really, I wouldn't want to know. He sounds mega-creepy.

by Anonymousreply 11811/21/2012

r112, men are way more ruthless in the workforce

by Anonymousreply 11911/22/2012

I think lesbians are good with money because they have to take care of themselves--they don't rely on a man for their well-being. Not to say that most women are careless with money, but they're not as focused as lesbians.

Lesbians also don't spend money on clothes, shoes, jewelry, makeup, beauty treatments the way straight women do. That saves a ton of money right there.

by Anonymousreply 12011/22/2012

Yeah, gay men aren't vicious at all. Smirk.

I think it comes down to values. Women place more value on relationships and leisure time than men. Making money and having success requires sacrificing those things.

by Anonymousreply 12111/22/2012

r101, this is r99.

I honest to god don't have any real advice because my niche is so specific and I really kind of fell into it before I realized that I could make real money.

I wrote a blog on Huffpo that went viral. People contacted me to speak on the topic at campuses via the comments section. I did it a few times while negotiating my own fees. I got an agent. Now she handles the contacts and my fees, and is able to get me much more than i could ever get for myself. I happily pay her percentage. And it's like a snowball that I have to keep up. My first book deal happened after a long drawn out drama with a book agent where I got dropped and decided to go it alone. The books and media coverage that come along with them make me a more attractive option for speaking dates.

It's just one of those things I guess. One piece of advice I have is to STOP WORKING FOR FREE IMMEDIATELY. Stop it right now. You are being taken advantage of. If your work is that good, it's good enough to pay for.

by Anonymousreply 12211/25/2012

Almost every lesbian I know has a PHD in some obscure topic and is collecting welfare.

by Anonymousreply 12311/25/2012

'Frugal' is being careful with your own money, making well-considered decisions about where to spend, and prioritizing. These choices only affect oneself.

'Cheap' is expecting others to pay for one's choices.

by Anonymousreply 12411/25/2012

Because we still make .75 to a fruit's dollar?

by Anonymousreply 12511/25/2012

"It is more difficult for women go get good paying jobs."

I've done it both ways and I may be the single exception to that thought.

by Anonymousreply 12605/27/2013

[quote]Because we still make .75 to a fruit's dollar?

But you know you spend more of your hubby's money and inherit it after you kill him off with fatty food and endless prattle, you heffalump.

by Anonymousreply 12705/27/2013

Statistically, men earn more than women do and are less likely to be underemployed (part-time) or even plain unemployed.

Gay couples = two men Lesbian couples = two women

It would seem obvious that statistically, gay couples have the highest incomes, followed by straight couples, and lastly lesbians.

by Anonymousreply 12805/28/2013

ahh, i get it. lesbians look like brutes who only shop at goodwill cos they are! they're poor.

by Anonymousreply 12905/28/2013

To R13 Personally I don't go to the restaurant to please the owners but to please myself. Where I live tipping certainly isn't mandatory. I usually tip 10-15% but I only tip if I was happy with the servie and the overall atmosphere.

And I only go to the restaurant when I know I can afford it.

Last time I went was pretty damn fine and we must have tipped some 20%

by Anonymousreply 13005/28/2013

Untrue R33: back when I used to date I would definitely care about my appearance. Now that I work I certainly do all my best to look as unattractive as possible until I have to look for work again. And I only dress for weekends, holidays, etc. Any time spent with friends, but certainly not for what I consider prison, that is work.

As for food, I only eat the best and my GF is an excellent cook. We choose the restaurants with the tastiest food as well. And we tip unless service/food was below standard.

by Anonymousreply 13105/28/2013

R40 Wins.

by Anonymousreply 13205/28/2013

Hear hear, R99.

Wish I could make a living like you do. I hate working in an office.

by Anonymousreply 13305/28/2013

Dear R106, the lack of a strong drive towards achievement is because we know it's (nearly) hopeless. And not because talent or capacity for hard work is lacking.

I've been working low-paid jobs for ten years and I hate it.

I'd say I'm pretty much ready to try something else, but I also realise how difficult it may be. It's just hard. I'd probably love it if I got 100K and could lead the life I wanted for a few years.

Travel, work a passion job, have a schedule that suits my needs, dress how I want, do my hair every month or so, etc. Much, much nicer than the near-slavery I have here.

by Anonymousreply 13405/28/2013

Women don't make as much money for doing the same job.

by Anonymousreply 13505/28/2013

Most lesbians are so tight with money they squeak and then add to that the fact they tend to smell since they don't believe in personal hygiene. Not a good combination.

by Anonymousreply 13602/26/2014

AA Batteries are expensive !

by Anonymousreply 13702/26/2014

My sister, partnered and with three kids, is a wheeler-dealer pie-in-the-sky speculator, so not aLL dykes at frugal

by Anonymousreply 13802/26/2014

My colleague, is a straight Asian male (veeeery short guy), is especially tight with money. He made a wailing sound when he had to pay 1 euro on his credit card to get a bike for a ride after work. Hadn't even invited him, but the guy cannot bear to be alone.


by Anonymousreply 13902/27/2014

We suspect he was unexperienced in the matters of sex up until very recently. Never mind that he is about 5'4" and she is over 6 ft tall.

by Anonymousreply 14002/27/2014

How many Lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, Lesbians don't have electric power since they are too cheap to pay the utility bill.

by Anonymousreply 14104/20/2014

You bumped a three year old thread for THAT joke, r141!

by Anonymousreply 14204/21/2014

Must be a lesbian who is too cheap to pay the $18.

by Anonymousreply 14304/21/2014





by Anonymousreply 14404/21/2014

Well they certainly aren't saving up for a nice outfit or spending it on hygiene products that's for sure.

by Anonymousreply 14505/11/2014

it's not because Lesbians are cheap, it's because women in general don't make as much money as their male counterparts make. Also, women spend money according to priorities, and gay men spend money on booze so they can get laid.

by Anonymousreply 14605/11/2014

I didn't find lesbians to be bad tippers.

by Anonymousreply 14705/11/2014

R112 as a young dyke and perpetually low income college grad this worries me, and sometimes I feel like R128 is right and the weight really comes down. Is that a universal truth, that it's a zero sum game?

I can't see my way clear to a future with enough money to live well, even though I know I'm capable and intelligent and can graft hard enough. Those intangibles that other lesbians here have described plague me too, and I wonder sometimes if it could be societal derision, i.e. that uses for a lesbian in our postmodern world are so few and so lowly. IMO there isn't enough highflying dyke representation in popular culture, perhaps as the wealthy success stories stay closeted or beard up.

Idk, I'm just sick of feeling like being a lesbian or part of a culture that does not laud or prioritise men is a long road to ruin. I'm having trouble even getting hired for waitstaff or warehouse stockroom jobs these days, so I've taken to concealing my own sexuality (it's become either 'straight' or 'prefer not to disclose'). Sad that it's come to this but I don't know what else to do.

by Anonymousreply 14805/20/2017

Sorry, R148. I did everything I was supposed to do as far as a "career" goes -- I even finished my coursework toward a Ph.D. But I saw so much in the business world that made me sick. I just didn't want to try to work -- much less compete -- in an atmosphere that cutthroat.

I ventured into academia, but that was a pretty crazy environment as well, in an entirely different way. So I got a government job and stuck it out until I could get a pension. Now I live in a trailer in the middle of the woods (I own the trailer and the 1/2 acre it sits on) and work part-time at online gigs. I'm 58 and I don't have to work, but I do have to watch every penny. Still, it was worth it.

I just have different priorities than people who prioritize money.

Good luck to you.

by Anonymousreply 14905/20/2017

I gay neighbor never buys name brand. I can see it in maybe a pair of shorts, but for food I want the best.

by Anonymousreply 15005/20/2017
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