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Lesbians and frugality

Why are lesbians so tight with money, seems to be the opposite of most gay men. I don't know why lesbians are so cheap but, it sure must make for not such a pleasant way to live having to watch every penny you spend.

by Anonymousreply 150May 20, 2017 5:54 PM

Because we're poor...?

by Anonymousreply 1May 27, 2011 3:24 AM

Women in general are bad tippers.

by Anonymousreply 2May 27, 2011 3:28 AM

Yes. And that is why we have a thread every other week with some guy saying he is 45 and has no savings or retirement fund.%0D %0D

by Anonymousreply 3May 27, 2011 3:30 AM

I'm a frugal lesbian because I am broke at the moment and so is my GF.. but I think even if I had a lot of money I wouldn't go crazy with it. Donate to more animal charities, maybe. I just want enough to be comfortable and travel regularly. My GF was a server and said that yes lesbians are bad tippers overall. There's also the fact that no lesbian establishments seem to stay in business very long, there are a few exceptions but...

by Anonymousreply 4May 27, 2011 3:35 AM

R3 for the win!

by Anonymousreply 5May 27, 2011 3:35 AM

It is more difficult for women go get good paying jobs. In the work world there is no "brotherhood" that looks out for women out of work who need jobs. Women make less money than men. So motherfucker it is smart for any woman who has some money to be smart with it. Unlike gay men most lesbians don't consider turning tricks a viable way of earning money.

by Anonymousreply 6May 27, 2011 3:38 AM

It's true that this is often the case -- often because lesbians tend to be poorer. But -- like anything -- it depends. I make a good salary and I'm a good tipper. Most of my friends are too. But we are older professionals.

by Anonymousreply 7May 27, 2011 3:51 AM

I always tip 20% because I've worked as a server.

by Anonymousreply 8May 27, 2011 3:56 AM

I live in England. I stopped tipping because employees are paid a decent minimum wage, and tips are taxed (or not fully distributed to serving staff). I also don't tip cab drivers/hair stylists because they charge exorbitant prices. In the US, I tip because it's expected, but I won't give big tips.

The worst tippers I've know are male lawyers.

by Anonymousreply 9May 27, 2011 4:06 AM

OP, you stupid fuck, now is the time that it should dawn on you that women make about 77 cents for every dollar a man makes FOR DOING THE EXACT SAME JOB, you asshole. Plus, you gayboys don't (usually) have children to support, so you can spend all of your extra money that we lesbians don't make on shit for yourselves rather than for your CHILDREN. And one more thing: there is a certain percentage of lesbians who cannot pass for straight. Those women are discriminated against much more than your swishy boys are (just like they are here on DL). I mean, those pretty-boys can always find homes in beauty salons or interior decoration or florist shops that pay pretty well. But straight men don't like to hire butch women as electricians, or plumbers, or other traditionally "male" positions where the pay is high. Now shut the fuck up and bring me my dessert.

by Anonymousreply 10May 27, 2011 4:19 AM

R10 for the win!

by Anonymousreply 11May 27, 2011 4:31 AM

r10 confirms another lesbian myth- they are all angry!

by Anonymousreply 12May 27, 2011 4:36 AM

If you can't afford to tip R9 then you can't afford to go to a restaurant. If you won't tip then you shouldn't go. They will not miss you.

by Anonymousreply 13May 27, 2011 4:41 AM

I am a lesbian and I am not cheap in the slightest. If I have money, I spend it. If don't...well then Ramen Noodles it is.

You never let anyone know how much you're worth...monetarily.

by Anonymousreply 14May 27, 2011 4:48 AM

I wish my partner would catch some of this lesbian frugality. She doesn't have it. The UPS boxes arrive daily at the house.

by Anonymousreply 15May 27, 2011 4:49 AM

I'm the cheapest person I know.

by Anonymousreply 16May 27, 2011 4:52 AM

r13, loads of people don't tip in England. I can assure you, the service industry certainly would miss the non-tippers.

by Anonymousreply 17May 27, 2011 4:54 AM

glad i don't know you then, cheap faggot @ r16

cheapness is such an ugly quality, and speaks such volumes about the rest of one's personality. cheapskates are usually: angry all the time; convinced that others are ALWAYS getting more than them; always trying to put one over on others; without sympathy or empathy... and i could go on and on.

by Anonymousreply 18May 27, 2011 5:00 AM

You're the one that sounds angry, R18.%0D %0D Not to mention that those who stereotype incessantly are the ones who lack sympathy and empathy.

by Anonymousreply 19May 27, 2011 5:05 AM

My partner and I are spenders, OP. However we still spend below our means. I use to be a frugal lesbian, but that's when I wasn't making much money, so I had to be. I can be frugal when I need to be - I will shop at thrift stores for clothes etc.

But now, I'm in a position where I don't have to do that - I still do on occasion though, because I don't like to over spend if I don't have to - however, if I want something I will spend the money now - as long as I can afford to pay cash/debit. We have zero debt. I use to have a lot of debt, but I paid it all off - so we don't spend what we don't have. I'm also a big saver and I always put money into my savings. My partner has large savings as well.

Life is short. It costs money to do things. We love to travel, spend on dinners, weekend getaways etc. We also want to live nicely when we are older and when we start a family (hence the importance of our savings accounts and investments)

I am not going to penny pinch when it comes to living life. not going to happen.

I also tip a minimum of 20% (I use to wait tables when I was a student, and would never not take care of the wait staff) If you can't afford to tip - don't go out.

I also agree with R10. In general lesbians make less money, and if you are label lesbians and cheapness - Most of my lesbian friends spent their 20's getting advanced degrees, and racking up student loans and paying for college. They had other expenses, and less disposable income - that plus a smaller salary (for some occupations, that is). Hence they would appear to not spend as much.

by Anonymousreply 20May 27, 2011 5:06 AM

How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? answer: none, lebians are too cheap to pay the utility bill.

by Anonymousreply 21May 27, 2011 5:17 AM

I am floored that people in England do not tip their servers. Don't make excuses for your selfishness R9. You are already a cheapskate. Don't be a hypocrite too. %0D %0D It is true that women were the worst tippers when I worked in restaurants years ago. Teachers were poor tippers as well. I don't know how much this has changed.%0D %0D

by Anonymousreply 22May 27, 2011 7:02 AM

R13 and R22, be careful about viewing UK practices through the lens of American capitalist culture. In the US, servers are paid diddly-squat, and people are well aware of this, hence there is the expectation that generous tipping make up for the inequities of the system. In the UK however, servers can earn a reasonably decent hourly rate.

by Anonymousreply 23May 27, 2011 7:45 AM

r22, please explain why I am exactly a 'cheapskate' and a 'hypocrite'? In England, staff earn a decent minimum wage. Servers do not 'live off tips'. As I explained above, tips are taxed (and it's not uncommon for management to take the tips). You have clearly never visited England - if so, you'd know good restaurants also levy service charges.

by Anonymousreply 24May 27, 2011 4:21 PM

R12 confirms another gayboy myth - they are all illiterate!%0D

by Anonymousreply 25May 27, 2011 4:29 PM

An unusual number of lesbian acquaintances seem a bit long-winded in the justification of their expenditures, volunteering --with no provocation-- a sort of Consumer Reports rundown of the pros and cons and the decision-making for any purchase or expense. %0D %0D I've known a good many lesbians who like to barter everything, trading legal services of a professional incorporation for a new garage roof, and other oddly dissimilar exchanges. Sometimes the barter stemmed from one or more of the of the parties not having ready money, but usually not. Some of the well-off women who liked bartering took it to an extreme. They could not ask for the least favor without some sort of exchange ("If you take my empty glass on your way to the kitchen, I'll give some tomatoes from my garden.") %0D %0D I've known a handful of old money lesbians who never, ever mention money; and a few others who have perfected the "poor mouth," cultivating an impression of near dire poverty when the truth is quite contrary.%0D %0D I've not known any lesbians who were unusually tight with their money, though the bartering thing always struck me as odd, especially among professional women who could as easily (or easier) just pay for things. %0D %0D From my experience, lesbians have been a bit more upfront about money (excepting the Old Money women who behave just like Old Money men), more so than gay men who are likelier to cultivate an impression --often false-- of "look, I have so much money I can throw it away without thought." %0D %0D

by Anonymousreply 26May 27, 2011 5:27 PM

[quote]There's also the fact that no lesbian establishments seem to stay in business very long, there are a few exceptions but...%0D %0D Well, if the owners run their businesses the way that Michfest is run, they are doomed.

by Anonymousreply 27May 27, 2011 5:40 PM

So that explains nutloaves: nuts are cheaper than meat - thus nutloaves instead meatloaves.

by Anonymousreply 28May 27, 2011 5:59 PM

Most lesbians are overweight so they gotta eat somewhere, if it's not out as restuarants, then it must be at home where it's cheaper to eat.

by Anonymousreply 29May 28, 2011 3:23 AM

Women usually make less many than men because they don't ask for it.

by Anonymousreply 30May 28, 2011 3:38 AM

I thought lesbians already had a pair.

by Anonymousreply 31May 28, 2011 3:46 AM

I cherish my cheapness, R18, because it keeps me out of trouble. For instance, I LOVE to shop, and my determination to get bargains not only keeps me solvent, it keeps my house from filling in with lovely little things I just couldn't resist. %0D %0D And FYI I'm a generous tipper.

by Anonymousreply 32May 28, 2011 5:18 AM

Most lesbians have no sense of style & don't care what they wear. I'm sure the same goes for food too.

by Anonymousreply 33May 28, 2011 9:47 AM

My partner and I are both doctors and are not frugal, especially with gifts for friends. We are good tippers (having been servers in college) and outstanding cooks. But, we do tend to hang out with gay male friends more than lesbian friends because of the trends mentioned above by others.

by Anonymousreply 34May 28, 2011 11:54 AM

r34 did you recently win The Amazing Race?

by Anonymousreply 35May 28, 2011 12:25 PM

I knew a woman in rural Pennsylvania who always tipped 10%. As a grab bag gift I gave her a card showing tips for 15% or 20% based on the meal. Now she tips 20%

by Anonymousreply 36May 28, 2011 12:33 PM

this thread is alarmingly sexist.

by Anonymousreply 37May 28, 2011 1:46 PM

I like lesbins but, will not go to a restuarant with one because I know they won't tip or tip too little and it's just too embarrassing.

by Anonymousreply 38May 29, 2011 5:30 AM

Lesbians don't like to spend money, it's just that simple, that's why they dress the way they do.

by Anonymousreply 39May 29, 2011 7:21 PM

It's not that they are cheap it's that they are poor. Straight women only have money because men pay for there shit. Lesbians have to split everything.

by Anonymousreply 40May 29, 2011 7:49 PM

r40, it's "their" not "there"

by Anonymousreply 41May 29, 2011 7:56 PM

I am a lesbian, and I always tip at least 20%. Generalize and stereotype much, OP?

by Anonymousreply 42May 29, 2011 8:18 PM

I find it sad that people have to defend how much they tip. I find it somewhat offensive that I am expected to tip regardless of the quality of service I receive. I tip very well for excellent service but usually 10% for poor service. I would prefer not to tip bad serves at all but because of stereotypes (I am African-American) I feel that it would be assumed that the reason I did not tip was because I was cheap not because the service was inadequate.

by Anonymousreply 43May 29, 2011 8:38 PM

@R43 why do you care what other people think? That's your great mistake. People are always going to think whatever they want regardless of your behaviour.

by Anonymousreply 44May 29, 2011 8:43 PM

Yeah r43, I bet in your mind the service is always "inadequate".

by Anonymousreply 45May 30, 2011 6:44 AM

I hope r10 dies a miserable death and spends eternity in hell having to alternate between sucking a smelly diseased cock and being a waitress to condescending miserable old dykes bc that's what she deserves.

by Anonymousreply 46May 30, 2011 7:09 AM

Old lesbians are really tight.

by Anonymousreply 47May 30, 2011 8:04 PM

In spite of that fabulous disposable income we're all supposed to have because we don't have children or responsibilities, gay people earn less than our straight counterparts. That's homophobia at work. And lesbians earn even less--homophobia + sexism. %0D %0D %0D Why do you think more women are working more now than men? Because employers can get away with paying them less. One step forward, several steps back.

by Anonymousreply 48May 30, 2011 8:11 PM

The cheapest person I've ever met in my entire life is my partner's sister and she is straight.

She likes the high life, so she will engage in all kinds of sex acts for dinner at an expensive restaurant, a vintage bottle of wine, a vacation somewhere warm. And she's 60 years old. She looks good for 60, but she's a nasty bitch, especially to other women. I know she allowed a rich lesbian to take her around for awhile, but it was purely mercenary, not a matter of orientation.

She finds ugly men who are lonely and who happen to have money. You'd be surprised how many men have put away quite a lot if money over the years. Lots of them did it illegally -- skimming from businesses, not paying taxes, setting up small shell companies, selling all kinds of things that fell off trucks.

This woman has not only never paid for her own dinner, she has never paid for her own lunch or breakfast either. Never paid for a vacation, but travels internationally at least twice a year. Lives for free with her very elderly parents and fully intends to inherit their house when they die. Fully intends to then find a roommate (or bf or husband) who will pay taxed and utilities.

She's been married twice. No human, besides her elderly parents, can put up with her for long. Thank god for her there is the Internet. Endless lonely, ugly straight men with enough money to take nice vacations where they can get their cocks sucked and engage in anal -- with a middle-aged female trick.

by Anonymousreply 49May 30, 2011 8:28 PM

You should write a book about your partner's sister, r49. It could be the Anti-Mame.

by Anonymousreply 50May 30, 2011 8:55 PM

I actually think that some people just don't know how much they should give. I've been out with people, men and women, gay and straight over the age of 50 who make good money who think that 15% is a good tip. They are calculating to the exact amount to give 15%. I'm like lets just double the tax, which is 9.9x here in Los Angeles and that's not their old school way. I've done the old, oh I left my...so I could go back and leave a few more dollars.%0D %0D In my head you should give at least 17% for adequate service and 20% for good service. 15% is for shitty service-because you did not have to make the food yourself and there are no dishes to do. The price of eating out.

by Anonymousreply 51May 30, 2011 10:39 PM

R45, your comment was uncalled for and racist.

by Anonymousreply 52May 31, 2011 3:40 AM

Often I leave a tips such as writing on the bill:

get a new hairstyle

look for a better paying job


My advice is worth more than any pittance of a monetary tip.

by Anonymousreply 53May 31, 2011 3:48 AM

My partner's sister and her fellow lesbian are the meanest people living. They'll drive around town trying to find the cheapest place to get gas, even though they've probably spent more driving from place to place than they would ever save. They love it when they get what they perceive to be bad service so they can complain (loudly) and demand free stuff in return.

One time, they bought bacon and found that instead of the advertised 10 slices, there were 9 in the pack. They wrote a strongly worded letter of complaint demanding to be reimbursed the cost of the one piece piece of bacon.

Unfortunately for them, they googled the wrong brand new for the corporate address and the empty box they sent was returned to them with a note saying they should redirect their complaint to the right company! Lol

Miserable fuckers!

by Anonymousreply 54May 31, 2011 7:29 AM

R54, You hit the nail on the head, that describes your typical lesbian.

by Anonymousreply 55June 2, 2011 4:32 AM

My experience (shopbottoming during college) was a little different, R55.

Lesbians tended to be pretty low maintenance, but they were often kind of taciturn -- unless it was a couple was shopping together, in which case they would both still mostly ignore me, but then be frequently weirdly intense with each other.

Gay guys were usually much higher maintenance and much more prone to complaining.

by Anonymousreply 56June 2, 2011 5:02 AM


by Anonymousreply 57June 2, 2011 5:12 AM

Yea, lezbians are low maintenace because all they care about is saving and have no other interests,

by Anonymousreply 58June 7, 2011 8:11 PM

not true, r58- they like golf!

by Anonymousreply 59June 7, 2011 8:17 PM

Why are they all so angry? THERE'S a question for the ages!

by Anonymousreply 60June 7, 2011 8:29 PM

I think it's a bit of a perception. Often lesbians do not buy all the fru fru associated with glam women, I am overstating- clothes, shoes, jewelry etc. Of course some do- I know some very glam spenders in the Hamptons. But the appearance of not wearing $1000 all the time makes someone look frugal. Actually they might be buying many other things- tech gadgets, furniture, charity tickets, gifts, travel, you name it. One of my very best friends- to look at her you would think she and her partner were tightwads. They live and dress modestly for their means... but if you know more- you know they travel where and whenever they want- there homes are very modest, but they have 3 of them- they love charity and spread their money around- oh they spend. Just not on what people who spend often do- clothes etc.

by Anonymousreply 61June 7, 2011 8:31 PM

Yea, they spend it on shovel, hoe and overalls.

by Anonymousreply 62June 17, 2011 9:25 PM

Well darling I must be an exception as I'm a very rich lesbian. I splash the cash left right and centre. I have two homes, a fancy pants car, numerous diamonds and a sex toy collection to put any nympho to shame. Oh and I have the beautiful professional gf to match.


ps. had a riot of a laugh looking at http menwholooklikeoldlesbians blogspot com - take a look and piss yourself laughing!

by Anonymousreply 63December 1, 2011 10:45 PM

I am a frugal Lesbian (paying off student loan debt), but I always tip service workers who try their best. If the service worker cannot accept a tip but did well, like with a bagboy, I will take a moment to call or e mail the manager and speak nicely of them. I had a lot of crap jobs when I was younger and have been there and done that with service industry work.

I know of a famous Lesbian (actress, will not say who) who is frugal but in a sweet way. She was a kind and dutiful daughter to her parents. Her father (RIP) had a neurological disease for many years and he never had to worry about his medical bills ever. And her mother (RIP) fell ill in quite the sudden way.

She is frugal in a sweet way because, for example, she did not have a TiVo or cable with a DVR. She figured that her VCR was good enough and decided to use it until it no longer worked and then she would upgrade. This was a few short years ago by the way.

We are not all more frugal than though for shits and giggles, everyone.

by Anonymousreply 64December 1, 2011 11:04 PM

though = thou... if one types while sipping on bourbon that is.

by Anonymousreply 65December 1, 2011 11:10 PM

You are stereotyping, I am sure a lot of lesbians aren't frugal.

Personally, I am because I don't like spending money and I don't like having a lot of things.

by Anonymousreply 66December 1, 2011 11:29 PM

Could somebody start a "cheapest tipper I know" thread?

Cause my cheapest tipper was a straight guy.

Drives me crazy, I always leave a little extra when we leave the table.

by Anonymousreply 67December 1, 2011 11:32 PM

I overspend like mad. What is your opinion based on, OP?

by Anonymousreply 68December 1, 2011 11:33 PM

I'm in the UK and I never tip. Service here is so shit I've never had the urge to do so. Perhaps if we reduced our minimum wage for waiters/waitresses and they actually had to 'earn' their tips then I'd re-think my whole policy. I visited New York a couple of years back and enjoyed tipping 20% as the service was really worth it. Having somebody pay attention and give good service is fantastic, whereas at home it's a bunch of couldn't care less/snotty nosed bores who'd rather be somewhere else. And when the cheque comes they hover expectantly. As if.

by Anonymousreply 69December 1, 2011 11:37 PM

Lesbians are full of excuses. Why they don't tip, why they're still in the closet, and on and on and on.

It gets tiresome, ladies. People like R10 are stuck in a 1975 mentality.

by Anonymousreply 70December 1, 2011 11:39 PM

[quote]Unlike gay men most lesbians don't consider turning tricks a viable way of earning money.

Are you mentally impaired?

by Anonymousreply 71December 1, 2011 11:41 PM


I love angry lesbians...

by Anonymousreply 72December 1, 2011 11:44 PM

[quote]Lesbians are full of excuses

No more than some gay men are full of shit

by Anonymousreply 73December 1, 2011 11:45 PM

Lucy J.

Your story is simply anecdotal.

Lesbians are cheap (and oftentimes rude about it).

by Anonymousreply 74December 1, 2011 11:46 PM

I bet R74 is a veggie that eats skip food and has dreads because she can't be arsed to develop a hairstyle.

You're just incredulous to my being a rich lesbian. Well so sorry to shock you darling but some of us really do exist.


ps. I know you're hot for me and just wanted to get my attention you saucy minx....

by Anonymousreply 75December 1, 2011 11:51 PM

That's right R74, because this thread is all about fact & evidence.

by Anonymousreply 76December 1, 2011 11:53 PM

I worked as a waitress during college and say what you like about women tippers, it was minorities who gave the worst tips.

by Anonymousreply 77December 1, 2011 11:57 PM

Lucy really is fucking fantastic, even though she would probably think I'm trash in real life.

by Anonymousreply 78December 2, 2011 12:01 AM

Gays like to act like stereotypical wives - spend, spend, spend. That's why they focus on clothes and eating out.

Lesbians tend to act like stereotypical fathers - squeeze the last drop out of the toothpaste tube and resent spending any money. That's why they like dressing in old flannel and staying at home.

by Anonymousreply 79December 2, 2011 12:11 AM

Ugh. Tiresome. My partner and I both spend it as fast as we make it - and we make decent money. We have student loans but no kids. We're both in a profession where we will likely be able to work as long as we want - most of our older colleagues don't fully retire until 75 or so. We will probably inherit some, too, though not much.

I watched my father worry away the best years of his life responsibly socking away money for his retirement and he doesn't have much better of a life than my mother, who is a spendthrift, because he's not healthy enough to enjoy travel. We like to travel, so we go places. We both had shitty jobs that left us barely scraping by, so we tip well, but we tend to frequent the same restaurants where they know us and the service is always good.

It's also not clear to me that the world as we know it will actually be here in 30 years, when I'm of retirement age. I would like to have good memories and am willing to pay for them. We also like jewelry. It's too much work to be cheap.

by Anonymousreply 80December 2, 2011 12:17 AM

I can be cheap, but I am trying to save money, I consider it to be 'practical' at the moment. In any case, I am far more generous than any Canadian I have ever met. My partner is the most generous person I know and she never has any bloody money because of it. Still, it's a nice trait. I would rather be with someone generous who enjoys life than with a tightwad.

by Anonymousreply 81December 2, 2011 12:43 AM

Who the hell bumped this thread?

by Anonymousreply 82December 2, 2011 1:25 AM

That would . . . (bump) . . .be me.

by Anonymousreply 83December 2, 2011 3:25 PM

This thread needs to die. It's brought out a lot of ugliness I'd rather not read.

by Anonymousreply 84December 2, 2011 3:32 PM

Former waiter/bartender here. In my experience, lesbians with money were fabulous tippers and a joy to wait on.

When they didn't have money? It was the worst. Somewhat like what another poster described - they ran you ragged, complained a lot and left shitty tips.

Though to be honest, I waited on more than my share of gay men with money who were totally cheap, high-maintenance and left shitty tips. It can be hard to typify.

by Anonymousreply 85December 2, 2011 3:41 PM

OP, yours is the same attitude Dick Cheney has about...everyone outside of his country club.

by Anonymousreply 86December 2, 2011 3:49 PM

I'm a lesbian femme in Vancouver Canada. I'm not cheap, I own a business, I have assets and passive income. I have a nice house and drive a luxury car. Im not out there coz i really ddnt like to hang out with heavy drinker and pot head lesbians. and Unfortunately, it's a little difficult to date someone who is decent and earn a good living. I realized later on just to find someone who is loving and caring and has great values in life... Still looking.....

by Anonymousreply 87October 20, 2012 8:08 AM

Maybe if you weren't a tiresome bore about your assets, not to mention a thread bumper, you'd have found someone by now...

by Anonymousreply 88October 20, 2012 9:05 AM

That's Vancouverites for you ... lots of fun.

by Anonymousreply 89October 20, 2012 12:07 PM

[quote]In the work world there is no "brotherhood" that looks out for women out of work who need jobs.

Yeah, um, Newsflash: there's no "brotherhood" like that for men, either. Unless you're a card-carrying member of the good ol' boys network, which limits it's members to rich, conservative white men who all know one another. Regular working Joes need not apply.

Plenty of men are out of work. This last recession disproportionately affected young men.

by Anonymousreply 90October 20, 2012 12:58 PM

They are so tight. I will never get in a round with a lesbian in the pub cos they never never buy you a drink back but are always happy to sponge of other

by Anonymousreply 91November 11, 2012 12:27 PM

There is a major difference between being cheap and frugal. Frugality is the art of minimizing lavishness, extravagance and excessive consumption meaning; caring more about the value of something, while being cheap mainly depends on caring about the price. I am a frugal person, because I am very responsible. When I want to purchase something, I rarely act spontaneously, I always ponder whether it is a NEED or a WANT. If it falls into the range of a want, I let the desire to purchase marinade for a while. If I still like it after a certain time, I guess I must really like it that bad, and would go ahead and purchase it as a treat. I am a 28 year old physical therapist making $90,000 a year, I max out my company's 401k match, I have liquid savings and I have a Roth IRA account. I decided to purchase a Mazda 3 for $19,000 rather than purchasing a $45,000 BMW. Can I afford a $45,000 dollar car? Sure. It doesn't mean I should. Plus, with the high depreciation rate of cars and the high insurance cost of a luxury car, it is just not worth it. I am not in the race to impress other people regarding material possessions.

by Anonymousreply 92November 21, 2012 2:03 AM

ALL women are bad tippers and frugal -- to an extent.

Lesbians tend to be good tippers!

by Anonymousreply 93November 21, 2012 2:04 AM

For the past year, I've been wondering if I'm part lesbian (bisexual). I guess this confirms that I'm not, since I love to spend money so much. Glad that's resolved.

by Anonymousreply 94November 21, 2012 2:16 AM

Good for you R92!

by Anonymousreply 95November 21, 2012 2:22 AM

LOL describes Occupy Wall Street liberals r18

by Anonymousreply 96November 21, 2012 2:29 AM

My sentiments exactly r92, and I am an older gay male. The thing is, I have always made, on average only a little over $20,000/year yet I have managed to save a decent enough nest egg, partly from living with my parents until my 30s and partly from believing that before you buy something consider the want versus need idea but also whether you have something already that can fill the bill, that's what frugality is about. It is also about not wasting any food whatsoever if you can help it and that means developing a talent for using and/or remaking leftovers into other tasty dishes--casseroles, omelets, salads, etc. Essentially it is all about the three Rs--Reduce, Re-use and Recycle or as many in New England say, "use it up and wear it out".

by Anonymousreply 97November 21, 2012 2:32 AM

My partner and I tip very well; however, in some cases, male waiters reap what they sow. If a male waiter gives us crappy service because he thinks he's going to get a lousy tip, then that's what he'll get because of his terrible attitude and poor assumptions. However, if the male waiter does not put us at an awful table and is a good waiter, then he will get a great tip. So the lesson is, stop making assumptions and just provide great service regardless of gender.

by Anonymousreply 98November 21, 2012 2:37 AM

Gay male here. I'm very cheap because right now I earn my living as a freelance writer, author, and lecturer and it's very up and down. For instance, in October I earned nearly $20k in speaking fees and in November I earned only $3,500.

Anyway I put myself on a very tight budget because I like to be 6-9 months ahead of myself with rent and expenses and I never really know where the next speaking gig is coming from. They generally spike when I put a book out and my next won't be out for a full year.

Honestly I'd rather live on a budget than go back to a fucking office. I never, ever want to do a 9-5 job again. I'll be frugal if it means keeping me out of an office.

What I don't get is gays who spend spend spend like there's no tomorrow on materialistic bullshit. Vacations I get, but clothes and bags and shoes? I mean who cares? The materialism that is rooted in insecurity and self hate of gay men is something else. The Lesbuns may be able to teach us a thing or two.

by Anonymousreply 99November 21, 2012 2:55 AM

Ditto 92. Gay male here. My bf and I have done well on low incomes. We own our apt. outright, drive a modest car and have a house in the country. I tip well because I waited tables and bartended. I know a lot of dykes and for the most part none are lousy tippers, but they also aren't hemmoraging money.

by Anonymousreply 100November 21, 2012 2:59 AM

R99, I am a very poor lesbian who writes. I have written a song that I have not been credited for that was used by a band on a major label, and I currently ghost write for a friend's blog.

How did you get started? I write a lot of non-fiction essays and I am going back to get my Masters in English and Comm next semester doing one class at a time.

I so want to get out of the hell of being at other people's beck and cal in terms of day jobs, and according to everyone around me, including those who use my intellectual property to make money and don't credit me, I have talent. I read constantly and write everyday.

I am willing to work as hard as I need to, but I haven't the foggiest idea how to get started. I have a few connections in New York in publishing, one is a writer for a major daily newspaper, the other is the head editor of a group at a major publishing house. She read one of my short stories once and told the writer for the daily that my writing made her worry about her own writing, which was the highest compliment in a weird way.

Please don't judge me on this post, my writing here is stream of consciousness at best. Any practical ideas would be helpful. TIA.

by Anonymousreply 101November 21, 2012 3:08 AM

Boys, why don't you discuss something that really concerns you -- like prolapsed anuses, perhaps?

by Anonymousreply 102November 21, 2012 3:10 AM

Thanks, r90. Good I've boys help if you re Exactly like they are. They still call the damn shots mostly.

by Anonymousreply 103November 21, 2012 3:11 AM

sorry, typo "beck and call"

also didn't look up whether Master's is plural or possessive. Absolutely drained from the day job switching my schedule on a whim. Forgive me.

by Anonymousreply 104November 21, 2012 3:11 AM

oops R101 I meant. ACK!!!

by Anonymousreply 105November 21, 2012 3:18 AM

The gay men I've known make, have and spend a lot more money than the lesbians I've known.

I have no idea why this is, it goes beyond the $.77 on the dollar for women issue. The educational levels for the men are usually higher but, again, I have no idea why this is the case.

I've known quite a few lesbians who worked at pretty low-level, low paying jobs for years and years. It seems almost as if a strong drive towards achievement is lacking but, again, I have no idea why.

by Anonymousreply 106November 21, 2012 3:26 AM

R105, lesbians have VERY low self esteem. due to rejection in their childhood, most likely perpetuated by their moms

by Anonymousreply 107November 21, 2012 3:57 AM

Oh, it's best when it's perpetuated by both of your parents, your siblings, and all of your teachers, R107.

by Anonymousreply 108November 21, 2012 5:18 AM

Most gay men live way past their means just to impresss other guys. Their insecurity will not allow them to be financially responsible.

by Anonymousreply 109November 22, 2012 3:12 AM

It's important to over-tip as aggressively as possible, ESPECIALLY if you can't afford to.

by Anonymousreply 110November 22, 2012 3:27 AM

Does my dad sound gay to you?

He buys women's designer sweaters and turtlenecks for himself, as well as handbags if he finds a good deal. He's always worn a feminine bathrobe with women's slippers and buys the women's versions fragrances because "men should be wearing the flowery scents if that's what women are attracted to." His bathroom is decorated with frilly fans that he himself called "a little faggy." His shopping habit has put him tens of thousands of dollars in debt.

Oh, and he squeals and flails like a little girl whenever he drops something, and when he bumps into something he exclaims, "BANGY-WANGY!" His dream job was to be a Broadway musical producer.

The fact that he prefers dark bedsheets and has womanized hundreds of ugly women (and possibly teen girl hookers in countries where it's legal) are the elements that throw me a bit. He's 70 now, though.

I know this is off-topic a bit, but I've never really been able to talk about this with anyone.

by Anonymousreply 111November 22, 2012 3:51 AM

Every lesbian I know (well, except for a few) have been really awesome but sadly they have to compete in the straight world where women are exceedingly vicious to each other and will try to sabotage and ultimately try to get fired any other woman they perceive as a "threat."

Thus, lesbians have to conserve funds due to unexpected job loss that is prevalent for women in fields typically populated by lesbians - i.e. non-profits, the arts, etc (that are also low-paying fields). Plus, many lesbians are highly educated and thus have to pay off student loans WHILST trying to avoid being fired by jealous females.

by Anonymousreply 112November 22, 2012 4:05 AM

I'm sorry your anus prolapsed r102. Steer clear off the Michigan Wemyns Fest fisting tent from now on.

by Anonymousreply 113November 22, 2012 4:09 AM

Maybe you should count your blessings r111, but if you think it could do him some good, try putting him over your knee and go at his ass with a ping pong paddle, maybe it will butch him up.

by Anonymousreply 114November 22, 2012 7:20 AM

Oh, R114, You're not one of my stepmothers, are you? Anyway, I wouldn't touch my father with a 10-foot oar. He was way abusive, and then when I grew up he took out credit cards in my name and maxed them out.

It's just while we were discussing sexual orientation stereotypes of economic status and finance management, I thought the people of this thread might have some insight. I never was able to figure him out, and wouldn't dare bring it up to mutual acquaintances.

by Anonymousreply 115November 22, 2012 7:39 AM

Yeah well, now that you put it that way r115, he does sound like some freaky closet case and no I'm not one of your stepmothers but I will say this too, that a "straight" man who can't hang onto a woman and is constantly married and divorced has definite issues. Look at Micky Rooney...on second thought, don't.

by Anonymousreply 116November 22, 2012 7:52 AM

I am also interested in DL's analysis of r111's fascinating father.

Closeted or just a femmy straight?

by Anonymousreply 117November 22, 2012 7:53 AM

Maybe he's a straight man with a cross-dressing fetish? '

But really, I wouldn't want to know. He sounds mega-creepy.

by Anonymousreply 118November 22, 2012 8:14 AM

r112, men are way more ruthless in the workforce

by Anonymousreply 119November 22, 2012 7:40 PM

I think lesbians are good with money because they have to take care of themselves--they don't rely on a man for their well-being. Not to say that most women are careless with money, but they're not as focused as lesbians.

Lesbians also don't spend money on clothes, shoes, jewelry, makeup, beauty treatments the way straight women do. That saves a ton of money right there.

by Anonymousreply 120November 22, 2012 7:46 PM

Yeah, gay men aren't vicious at all. Smirk.

I think it comes down to values. Women place more value on relationships and leisure time than men. Making money and having success requires sacrificing those things.

by Anonymousreply 121November 22, 2012 8:00 PM

r101, this is r99.

I honest to god don't have any real advice because my niche is so specific and I really kind of fell into it before I realized that I could make real money.

I wrote a blog on Huffpo that went viral. People contacted me to speak on the topic at campuses via the comments section. I did it a few times while negotiating my own fees. I got an agent. Now she handles the contacts and my fees, and is able to get me much more than i could ever get for myself. I happily pay her percentage. And it's like a snowball that I have to keep up. My first book deal happened after a long drawn out drama with a book agent where I got dropped and decided to go it alone. The books and media coverage that come along with them make me a more attractive option for speaking dates.

It's just one of those things I guess. One piece of advice I have is to STOP WORKING FOR FREE IMMEDIATELY. Stop it right now. You are being taken advantage of. If your work is that good, it's good enough to pay for.

by Anonymousreply 122November 25, 2012 1:59 PM

Almost every lesbian I know has a PHD in some obscure topic and is collecting welfare.

by Anonymousreply 123November 25, 2012 2:23 PM

'Frugal' is being careful with your own money, making well-considered decisions about where to spend, and prioritizing. These choices only affect oneself.

'Cheap' is expecting others to pay for one's choices.

by Anonymousreply 124November 25, 2012 2:30 PM

Because we still make .75 to a fruit's dollar?

by Anonymousreply 125November 25, 2012 2:44 PM

"It is more difficult for women go get good paying jobs."

I've done it both ways and I may be the single exception to that thought.

by Anonymousreply 126May 28, 2013 2:53 AM

[quote]Because we still make .75 to a fruit's dollar?

But you know you spend more of your hubby's money and inherit it after you kill him off with fatty food and endless prattle, you heffalump.

by Anonymousreply 127May 28, 2013 3:09 AM

Statistically, men earn more than women do and are less likely to be underemployed (part-time) or even plain unemployed.

Gay couples = two men Lesbian couples = two women

It would seem obvious that statistically, gay couples have the highest incomes, followed by straight couples, and lastly lesbians.

by Anonymousreply 128May 28, 2013 11:15 AM

ahh, i get it. lesbians look like brutes who only shop at goodwill cos they are! they're poor.

by Anonymousreply 129May 28, 2013 11:27 AM

To R13 Personally I don't go to the restaurant to please the owners but to please myself. Where I live tipping certainly isn't mandatory. I usually tip 10-15% but I only tip if I was happy with the servie and the overall atmosphere.

And I only go to the restaurant when I know I can afford it.

Last time I went was pretty damn fine and we must have tipped some 20%

by Anonymousreply 130May 28, 2013 11:28 AM

Untrue R33: back when I used to date I would definitely care about my appearance. Now that I work I certainly do all my best to look as unattractive as possible until I have to look for work again. And I only dress for weekends, holidays, etc. Any time spent with friends, but certainly not for what I consider prison, that is work.

As for food, I only eat the best and my GF is an excellent cook. We choose the restaurants with the tastiest food as well. And we tip unless service/food was below standard.

by Anonymousreply 131May 28, 2013 11:40 AM

R40 Wins.

by Anonymousreply 132May 28, 2013 11:41 AM

Hear hear, R99.

Wish I could make a living like you do. I hate working in an office.

by Anonymousreply 133May 28, 2013 12:52 PM

Dear R106, the lack of a strong drive towards achievement is because we know it's (nearly) hopeless. And not because talent or capacity for hard work is lacking.

I've been working low-paid jobs for ten years and I hate it.

I'd say I'm pretty much ready to try something else, but I also realise how difficult it may be. It's just hard. I'd probably love it if I got 100K and could lead the life I wanted for a few years.

Travel, work a passion job, have a schedule that suits my needs, dress how I want, do my hair every month or so, etc. Much, much nicer than the near-slavery I have here.

by Anonymousreply 134May 28, 2013 12:57 PM

Women don't make as much money for doing the same job.

by Anonymousreply 135May 28, 2013 1:19 PM

Most lesbians are so tight with money they squeak and then add to that the fact they tend to smell since they don't believe in personal hygiene. Not a good combination.

by Anonymousreply 136February 27, 2014 4:06 AM

AA Batteries are expensive !

by Anonymousreply 137February 27, 2014 4:09 AM

My sister, partnered and with three kids, is a wheeler-dealer pie-in-the-sky speculator, so not aLL dykes at frugal

by Anonymousreply 138February 27, 2014 4:14 AM

My colleague, is a straight Asian male (veeeery short guy), is especially tight with money. He made a wailing sound when he had to pay 1 euro on his credit card to get a bike for a ride after work. Hadn't even invited him, but the guy cannot bear to be alone.


by Anonymousreply 139February 27, 2014 11:20 AM

We suspect he was unexperienced in the matters of sex up until very recently. Never mind that he is about 5'4" and she is over 6 ft tall.

by Anonymousreply 140February 27, 2014 11:21 AM

How many Lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, Lesbians don't have electric power since they are too cheap to pay the utility bill.

by Anonymousreply 141April 21, 2014 6:44 AM

You bumped a three year old thread for THAT joke, r141!

by Anonymousreply 142April 21, 2014 12:13 PM

Must be a lesbian who is too cheap to pay the $18.

by Anonymousreply 143April 21, 2014 12:16 PM





by Anonymousreply 144April 21, 2014 12:19 PM

Well they certainly aren't saving up for a nice outfit or spending it on hygiene products that's for sure.

by Anonymousreply 145May 12, 2014 3:29 AM

it's not because Lesbians are cheap, it's because women in general don't make as much money as their male counterparts make. Also, women spend money according to priorities, and gay men spend money on booze so they can get laid.

by Anonymousreply 146May 12, 2014 3:37 AM

I didn't find lesbians to be bad tippers.

by Anonymousreply 147May 12, 2014 3:46 AM

R112 as a young dyke and perpetually low income college grad this worries me, and sometimes I feel like R128 is right and the weight really comes down. Is that a universal truth, that it's a zero sum game?

I can't see my way clear to a future with enough money to live well, even though I know I'm capable and intelligent and can graft hard enough. Those intangibles that other lesbians here have described plague me too, and I wonder sometimes if it could be societal derision, i.e. that uses for a lesbian in our postmodern world are so few and so lowly. IMO there isn't enough highflying dyke representation in popular culture, perhaps as the wealthy success stories stay closeted or beard up.

Idk, I'm just sick of feeling like being a lesbian or part of a culture that does not laud or prioritise men is a long road to ruin. I'm having trouble even getting hired for waitstaff or warehouse stockroom jobs these days, so I've taken to concealing my own sexuality (it's become either 'straight' or 'prefer not to disclose'). Sad that it's come to this but I don't know what else to do.

by Anonymousreply 148May 20, 2017 3:04 PM

Sorry, R148. I did everything I was supposed to do as far as a "career" goes -- I even finished my coursework toward a Ph.D. But I saw so much in the business world that made me sick. I just didn't want to try to work -- much less compete -- in an atmosphere that cutthroat.

I ventured into academia, but that was a pretty crazy environment as well, in an entirely different way. So I got a government job and stuck it out until I could get a pension. Now I live in a trailer in the middle of the woods (I own the trailer and the 1/2 acre it sits on) and work part-time at online gigs. I'm 58 and I don't have to work, but I do have to watch every penny. Still, it was worth it.

I just have different priorities than people who prioritize money.

Good luck to you.

by Anonymousreply 149May 20, 2017 3:25 PM

I gay neighbor never buys name brand. I can see it in maybe a pair of shorts, but for food I want the best.

by Anonymousreply 150May 20, 2017 5:54 PM
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