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The "Gay Gaze"

Does anyone know what causes the gay gaze? You know, that wide-eyed, deer-in-headlights gaze many gay men possess? (Think Lance Bass) I'm kind of fascinated by it.

by Anonymousreply 10303/06/2013

I call it the "Pained Rictus".

by Anonymousreply 105/18/2011

I call them "lady bugs".

by Anonymousreply 205/18/2011

Lady bugs?

by Anonymousreply 305/18/2011

Is that like the angered constipated look where you walk into a place and guys glare at you as if you wiped your ass with their curtains?

by Anonymousreply 405/18/2011

Is that pre or post cooking smelling?

by Anonymousreply 505/18/2011

Indiscriminate cocksucking? At least that's what started it for me.

by Anonymousreply 605/18/2011

A. Botox%0D %0D B. Mini-lift%0D %0D C. They think they're smizing.%0D %0D D. Combination of the above.

by Anonymousreply 705/18/2011

Ive never noticed Lance Bass with a deer in the headlights look.

by Anonymousreply 805/18/2011

Butt plugs.

by Anonymousreply 905/18/2011

OP, perhaps your referring to the ACOA 'I'm going to look cheerful and perhaps Daddy won't punch me this time' gaze.

Some people go through life looking like they expect to get punched any moment.

by Anonymousreply 1005/18/2011

Natural Brain Opioids.

by Anonymousreply 1105/18/2011

I love you, R4.%0D %0D I thought I was the only one getting that look.

by Anonymousreply 1205/18/2011

Do y'all know the look I'm talking about? Where you can see the whites of their eyes? Like they're staring right through you? It's a dead giveaway that a guy is gay...never met a straight guy with that gaze.

by Anonymousreply 1305/18/2011

Like smelling rancid cookies?

by Anonymousreply 1405/18/2011

I was subjected to a "random" drug test at work one time and I'm convinced it's because of my gay gaze. People have asked me if I'm on drugs before, which I am not.

by Anonymousreply 1505/18/2011

It's probably a sign that it's genetic. It's so common, people know what you mean. It would be interesting to know if there is a "gay gaze" chromosone.

by Anonymousreply 1605/18/2011

R16 That's what I'm wondering...because I don't do anything to consciously look that way (I HATE it, actually) and yet inevitably every time I see a picture of myself I've got the gay gaze.

by Anonymousreply 1705/18/2011

It's a defense mechanism.

by Anonymousreply 1805/18/2011

Straight guys have that "gaze." Take Jake Gyllenhaal for instance. ....wait a second ....

by Anonymousreply 1905/18/2011

it's because we were so scared and alert as we hid our true selves during our formative lives that we're hard-wired to be overly alert.

by Anonymousreply 2005/18/2011

Jonathan Rhys Meyers owns this look.

by Anonymousreply 2105/18/2011

R21 That's more like the "Crazy Gaze".

by Anonymousreply 2205/18/2011

More pics, please.

by Anonymousreply 2305/18/2011

Here's a picture. First look at the picture, then immediately look in the mirror!

by Anonymousreply 2405/18/2011

Crazy gays.

by Anonymousreply 2505/18/2011

It's because gay men don't mind looking open to human interaction, unlike many straight men, who need to look closed and hard in order to seem masculine.

by Anonymousreply 2605/18/2011

I remember in one of the recent "gayface" threads, that someone described gayface as a sort of over-expressive, slightly dramatic look, which includes the over-widening of the eyes and smile. I think this description would also apply to "The Gay Gaze".

by Anonymousreply 2705/18/2011

If this isn't gay face, I don't know what is:

by Anonymousreply 2805/18/2011

I meant gay gaze, not gay face, but as someone above me said they are a similar phenomenon.

by Anonymousreply 2905/18/2011

I always got told I looked sleepy and stoned. I wonder if that's why I slipped past detection for so long.

by Anonymousreply 3005/18/2011

Taylor Lautner has gay voice,gay face,gay mannerism and gay expression in one interview.%0D %0D maybe the gay gaze is there somewhere.%0D %0D Quite Fasinating.

by Anonymousreply 3105/18/2011

R28,%0D %0D His eyes are saying: "Haaaaaay gurl, wanna grab a flirtini or three at Daddy's Bar?"

by Anonymousreply 3205/18/2011

Wow, that pic @ R28 is perfect and I agree that JRM possesses this same hyper-alert, overly awake look.

by Anonymousreply 3305/18/2011

I think the OP's gay gaze is a totally different look than gayface or crazyface, folks. It's a sleepy eyed look. I call it "lizard face." Lance Bass totally has it. Bradley Cooper has it in some pictures, too, to a lesser extent. But it's not wide open eyes. It's the opposite, almost.

by Anonymousreply 3405/18/2011

I actually think r20 has come the closet to hitting the truth. I completely know what the OP is talking about, and I agree, the "gay gaze" is something I've seen exclusively in gay guys. I doubt it is genetic, but I am guessing there is a behavioral component from growing up gay in a heteronormative culture.

by Anonymousreply 3505/18/2011

(G)Lance (B)ASS.

What an unfortunate face. PLEASE, someone start a post with "celebrities" that are hard to look at (i.e. John C. Reilly, Jack Black, Phillip Seymour[SEE LESS] Hoffman, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Mickey Rourke, etc., etc.)

by Anonymousreply 3605/18/2011

I think Jai Rodriguez is a better example of what OP is describing. (see link)

I think Lance Bass had the look when he was younger and still closeted but I didn't notice it in recent pictures when I searched. I think there's something to the hyper-alert theory.

by Anonymousreply 3705/19/2011

You mean like this?

by Anonymousreply 3805/19/2011

Please someone start the thread that r36 was asking for, it will be fun!

by Anonymousreply 3905/19/2011

How do you post a picture that'll show right up in the thread here?

by Anonymousreply 4005/19/2011

You have to link to the web address of the actual picture, not just the website you find it on. If you right click on the picture you should get an option to copy image location. Do that and paste it in the URL box.

However, some sites don't allow direct linking so the picture might not show up anyway.

by Anonymousreply 4105/19/2011

I love Bomer @R28.Hyper alert eyes observing the world in a conscious way,very different to straight guys who sleepwalk their way through life.

by Anonymousreply 4205/19/2011

Lots of Special K and Crystal Meth. %0D %0D Circuit parties are the only place where I can actually relate that look (I used to call them K eyes) exclusively to gay people and their fellow revelers. %0D %0D Otherwise, straights and gays alike have a chance at looking like that for many reasons. I don't think it is a variant of gayface and it has nothing to do with being gay.

by Anonymousreply 4305/19/2011

R43 None of the guys I know who have the gay gaze are drug users. None.

by Anonymousreply 4405/19/2011

When you said "gay gaze" who came to mind for me? Funny, or not, but it was Kyan Douglas the hair guy from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy -- which I haven't seen in many years. He always looked hyper-awake or something, yeah deer in the headlights...

by Anonymousreply 4505/19/2011

r44 I'm not saying that drugs are the cause for the gaze on people in general, your friends included. I'm saying that the only time you could really call it a "gay gaze" is at circuit parties because you the look does prevail there (due to the drug use) and most of the participants are gay. %0D %0D Other than that, it's just a "blank stare" that gays and straights alike can have and no reason to link it to the gay "gene."%0D %0D In other words, stop trying to make "gay gaze" happen. It has no basis. It's not like "gayface" or "smelling cookies." You're not coining a phrase.

by Anonymousreply 4605/19/2011

R46 Speak for yourself, I've never met a straight man with this type of look in his eye. No one's trying to coin a phrase here, idiot.

by Anonymousreply 4705/19/2011


by Anonymousreply 4805/19/2011

Is there a lesbian version?

by Anonymousreply 4905/19/2011

[quote] I've never met a straight man with this type of look in his eye. %0D %0D Poster child for this type of blank stare (inherited from his also straight Mom)

by Anonymousreply 5005/19/2011

R50 I don't see how that's a gay gaze, sorry

by Anonymousreply 5105/19/2011



by Anonymousreply 5205/19/2011

[quote]No one's trying to coin a phrase here, idiot.%0D %0D %0D Troll-dar says otherwise

by Anonymousreply 5305/19/2011

No one seems able to agree on what the hell "gay gaze" is, so it does kind of seem like a massive fail.

by Anonymousreply 5405/19/2011

'Gay gaze' is already a phrase so thanks for playing.

by Anonymousreply 5505/19/2011

[quote]'Gay gaze' is already a phrase so thanks for playing.%0D %0D Link, please!%0D %0D You just won't quit. will you? I find it funny

by Anonymousreply 5605/19/2011

Have you ever seen a woman who is smitten with a man? Well, since gay men get whatever makes woman attracted to men we also get the smitten look in the eye that women get.

by Anonymousreply 5705/19/2011

Every person mentioned as having gay gaze wears silicone hydrogel soft contact lenses.

by Anonymousreply 5805/19/2011

This is an interesting article...hits a little bit on what constitutes "gay eyes"...

by Anonymousreply 5905/19/2011

They don't have the weary look in their eyes that guys who are brow-beaten by woman have.

by Anonymousreply 6005/19/2011

YOU ALL DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT THE OP MEANS. GAY "GAZE" IS A HEAVY LIDDED, SLEEPY LOOK. IT IS NOT NOT NOT NOT the WIDE OPEN "GAYFACE" "surprised eyes" LOOK. REPEAT, the GAY GAZE is a SLEEPY, HEAVY LIDDED, LIZARD TYPE OF STARE. It is not the same as "gay face." Please, understand the difference. Gay gaze, like Lance Bass has, like JFK, Jr. had, like some people with a sort of heavy lidded, BLANK STARE, sort of like a zombie or a robot or a lizard. It is sort of a "I just took a tranquilizer" look.

by Anonymousreply 6105/19/2011

gay gaze

by Anonymousreply 6205/19/2011

gay gaze

by Anonymousreply 6305/19/2011

Isn't that a stoned look?

by Anonymousreply 6405/19/2011

"Does anyone know what causes the gay gaze?"%0D %0D Utter vacancy, vapidity and vacuousness.

by Anonymousreply 6505/19/2011

gay gaze AKA as "lizard sunning on a rock" gaze AKA "sleepy eyes" AKA "I am tranquilized" AKA "heavy lidded."

by Anonymousreply 6605/19/2011

TC: Hey Kate, I was thinking. What do think of my eyes?

KC: Your...eyes? Well, they're great. You have really nice eyes.

TC: Think so? Thanks honey. You have the most beautiful eyes too. They look really pretty.

KC: Oh, thanks baby. You're so sweet.

TC: I know. But listen, you don't think my eyes show too much...white, do you? I mean, if you were to look at my eyes - say you didn't know me - you wouldn't maybe say, nice eyes, great eyes, handsome guy, but overall, he's showing too much white in his eyes?

KC: (Wary yet again)...I don't think so, no. No, I'd say you had the balance...just right. Exactly right. Like I said - great eyes!

TC: Good. I mean, you wouldn't say I had like a...staring kind of look? Showing too much white. It's just a normal look, right?

KC: Absolutely normal. Totally normal. Just like any regular megastar! Just like MY regular megastar!

TC: (Sighs with relief) Ah, thanks, honey. You're just the best, you know that?

KC: So are you, baby. (Nerving herself) Anyway, why'd you ask, sweetie?

TC: Mmm? Why? Ah, it's to do with...all this new...screen technology. Y'know - high definition. I need to know from you I'll look as good as ever. And now I know, so everythings's cool! I got a meeting now honey. Catch you later.

(TC exits, looking himself in the eye in a mirror, as KC urgently seeks a special pill in her bag.)

by Anonymousreply 6705/19/2011

r64,YES. It can definitely be called a stoned look. But a lot of gay guys seem to have it.

by Anonymousreply 6805/19/2011

See, I'm not making this up:

by Anonymousreply 6905/19/2011

This is the definition of the gay gaze:

by Anonymousreply 7005/19/2011

R61 Your post is hypnotic! "You are getting sleepy..."

by Anonymousreply 7105/19/2011

r69, your link is to the phrase "gay eyes", which defines the look you are trying to coin as "gay gaze." It definitely comes from a quasi-homophobic angle in that urban dictionary (shallow = gay). I still can think of many straight bimbo men with the same look - one considered vapid by most of society (hence my homophobic claim). %0D %0D r61 isn't what you are referring to most commonly known as "bedroom eyes?"%0D %0D Again, I don't think either of them is an exclusively gay trait. Gayface, i.e. pursed/pouty lips and a seductive leer, may be another story.

by Anonymousreply 7205/19/2011

R72 Nitpicky much? Gay eyes/gay gaze...same fuckin' thing. And again--one one's trying to "coin" anything.

by Anonymousreply 7305/19/2011

Actually it's what R26 says.

Straight men feel the need to scowl to look tough and strong. It's all defensive posturing.

Gays don't have that inclination.

by Anonymousreply 7405/19/2011

You all are crazy gays...

by Anonymousreply 7505/19/2011

So it all boils down to drama. We're more emotive?

by Anonymousreply 7605/19/2011

I believe what the OP is talking about is actually "Crazy Eyes" seen here:

by Anonymousreply 7705/19/2011


by Anonymousreply 7805/19/2011

And here:

by Anonymousreply 7905/19/2011

"hologram eyes"

by Anonymousreply 8005/19/2011

We used to call it the "come hither" look.

by Anonymousreply 8105/19/2011

Before and After Gayface at link, complete with Lance Bass-ian wide-eyed, deer-in-headlights gaze -- everything pulled a little too tightly, tensed, frozen, a too-wide smile, the eyebrows too arched, everything just on the far side of naturally animated.

by Anonymousreply 8205/19/2011

Here's the "After" face from link above.

by Anonymousreply 8305/19/2011

And the "Before" face:

by Anonymousreply 8405/19/2011

Thanks for the article R59.

[quote](For example, one of my PhD students, David Harnden-Warwick, has a casual hunch that gay men may have sharper, clearer irises than straight men.)

by Anonymousreply 8505/19/2011

Take your pick:

by Anonymousreply 8605/19/2011

5 pages and no one mentioned the ultimate gay gazer, Jake Shears.

by Anonymousreply 8705/19/2011

R87 I don't know who that is but OUCH! He just hurt my gaydar!

by Anonymousreply 8805/19/2011

Your soul belongs to me

by Anonymousreply 8905/19/2011

The gay gaze, as r20 hints at, is born from years of being taunted, antagonized, and bullied. It comes from having to be hyper alert to what others in your immediate surrounding are doing and saying because you realize that you are a potential target for harassment or violence.

by Anonymousreply 9005/19/2011

LOL R82. You're spot on.%0D %0D BTW, I'm a chef. I do gay glaze very well.%0D %0D

by Anonymousreply 9105/19/2011

R91 That's kind of sad if it's true.

by Anonymousreply 9205/19/2011

I've always interpreted the look as someone super-focused on taking in the scenery, especially if there are men in it. With (much) experience, it can work almost like x-ray vision along with a computational evaluation as done by a Terminator.

by Anonymousreply 9305/19/2011

It never struck me as an observational stance, rather as hyper-reactive. %0D %0D The look is similar to that of camera hams, those people who can "smell" a camera and miss no opportunity to be photographed, moving instantly to dead-center-in-the-frame optimum placement, transfixing a face into an overly calculated pose: eyes a little too wide, smile a little too big and too sparkling, everything tensed into a forced look that grabs attention yet has a nervousness about it.

by Anonymousreply 9405/19/2011

[quote]moving instantly to dead-center-in-the-frame optimum placement, transfixing a face into an overly calculated pose: eyes a little too wide, smile a little too big and too sparkling, everything tensed into a forced look that grabs attention yet has a nervousness about it.%0D %0D %0D You just described Daniel Benedict in the NY Social Diary though he doesn't do the smile part. He tries to look more pleasantly amused than happy.

by Anonymousreply 9505/19/2011

[quote]moving instantly to dead-center-in-the-frame optimum placement, transfixing a face into an overly calculated pose: eyes a little too wide, smile a little too big and too sparkling, everything tensed into a forced look that grabs attention yet has a nervousness about it.

I think thats just gay face.

This is a gaze, Im not sure if its "gay gaze" since straight people gaze all the time too.

by Anonymousreply 9605/19/2011

R96 I don't see that guy as having a gaze at all. Gay gaze is a look in the eyes that just screams "GAY!!!" and I simply do not see it in straight guys. I've never mistaken a straight guy for being gay based on the gaze in his eyes. It's hard to describe in words, but there is a sixth sense about it.

by Anonymousreply 9705/19/2011

r97, a gaze doesnt *scream* anything though. A gaze is a calm thoughtful look. If a face is screaming gay than that is gay face.

by Anonymousreply 9805/19/2011

He looks like a boy bander from decades ago.

by Anonymousreply 9905/24/2011

I've noticed it too. I think its a genetic/hormonal marker that manifests in the outward physiology of gay men ( such as the swirl of hair going counterclockwise in gay men where straight men's hair swirl goes clockwise) . Neurological studies theorize that an expectant mother's immune system attacks the brain development of the male fetus which modifies his sexual orientation. The same process that affects the brain also has an impact on the eyes.

by Anonymousreply 10006/16/2012

[quote] expectant mother's immune system attacks the brain development of the male fetus which modifies his sexual orientation.

Could this also explain why so many gay men are headcases? Serious question.

by Anonymousreply 10106/16/2012

Like this?

by Anonymousreply 10203/05/2013

R61 OP said wide-eyes, deer-in headlights look....sorta of a "look, aren't my eyes sparklingly beautiful like diamods? hope you mesmerized" showy-showy look...definately not sleepy-eyes. DL pet Matt Bomer has them.

by Anonymousreply 10303/06/2013
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