Does anyone know what causes the gay gaze? You know, that wide-eyed, deer-in-headlights gaze many gay men possess? (Think Lance Bass) I'm kind of fascinated by it.
The "Gay Gaze"
|by Anonymous||reply 103||03/06/2013|
I call it the "Pained Rictus".
|by Anonymous||reply 1||05/18/2011|
I call them "lady bugs".
|by Anonymous||reply 2||05/18/2011|
|by Anonymous||reply 3||05/18/2011|
Is that like the angered constipated look where you walk into a place and guys glare at you as if you wiped your ass with their curtains?
|by Anonymous||reply 4||05/18/2011|
Is that pre or post cooking smelling?
|by Anonymous||reply 5||05/18/2011|
Indiscriminate cocksucking? At least that's what started it for me.
|by Anonymous||reply 6||05/18/2011|
A. Botox%0D %0D B. Mini-lift%0D %0D C. They think they're smizing.%0D %0D D. Combination of the above.
|by Anonymous||reply 7||05/18/2011|
Ive never noticed Lance Bass with a deer in the headlights look.
|by Anonymous||reply 8||05/18/2011|
|by Anonymous||reply 9||05/18/2011|
OP, perhaps your referring to the ACOA 'I'm going to look cheerful and perhaps Daddy won't punch me this time' gaze.
Some people go through life looking like they expect to get punched any moment.
|by Anonymous||reply 10||05/18/2011|
Natural Brain Opioids.
|by Anonymous||reply 11||05/18/2011|
I love you, R4.%0D %0D I thought I was the only one getting that look.
|by Anonymous||reply 12||05/18/2011|
Do y'all know the look I'm talking about? Where you can see the whites of their eyes? Like they're staring right through you? It's a dead giveaway that a guy is gay...never met a straight guy with that gaze.
|by Anonymous||reply 13||05/18/2011|
Like smelling rancid cookies?
|by Anonymous||reply 14||05/18/2011|
I was subjected to a "random" drug test at work one time and I'm convinced it's because of my gay gaze. People have asked me if I'm on drugs before, which I am not.
|by Anonymous||reply 15||05/18/2011|
It's probably a sign that it's genetic. It's so common, people know what you mean. It would be interesting to know if there is a "gay gaze" chromosone.
|by Anonymous||reply 16||05/18/2011|
R16 That's what I'm wondering...because I don't do anything to consciously look that way (I HATE it, actually) and yet inevitably every time I see a picture of myself I've got the gay gaze.
|by Anonymous||reply 17||05/18/2011|
It's a defense mechanism.
|by Anonymous||reply 18||05/18/2011|
Straight guys have that "gaze." Take Jake Gyllenhaal for instance. ....wait a second ....
|by Anonymous||reply 19||05/18/2011|
it's because we were so scared and alert as we hid our true selves during our formative lives that we're hard-wired to be overly alert.
|by Anonymous||reply 20||05/18/2011|
Jonathan Rhys Meyers owns this look.
|by Anonymous||reply 21||05/18/2011|
R21 That's more like the "Crazy Gaze".
|by Anonymous||reply 22||05/18/2011|
More pics, please.
|by Anonymous||reply 23||05/18/2011|
Here's a picture. First look at the picture, then immediately look in the mirror!
|by Anonymous||reply 24||05/18/2011|
|by Anonymous||reply 25||05/18/2011|
It's because gay men don't mind looking open to human interaction, unlike many straight men, who need to look closed and hard in order to seem masculine.
|by Anonymous||reply 26||05/18/2011|
I remember in one of the recent "gayface" threads, that someone described gayface as a sort of over-expressive, slightly dramatic look, which includes the over-widening of the eyes and smile. I think this description would also apply to "The Gay Gaze".
|by Anonymous||reply 27||05/18/2011|
If this isn't gay face, I don't know what is:
|by Anonymous||reply 28||05/18/2011|
I meant gay gaze, not gay face, but as someone above me said they are a similar phenomenon.
|by Anonymous||reply 29||05/18/2011|
I always got told I looked sleepy and stoned. I wonder if that's why I slipped past detection for so long.
|by Anonymous||reply 30||05/18/2011|
Taylor Lautner has gay voice,gay face,gay mannerism and gay expression in one interview.%0D %0D maybe the gay gaze is there somewhere.%0D %0D Quite Fasinating.
|by Anonymous||reply 31||05/18/2011|
R28,%0D %0D His eyes are saying: "Haaaaaay gurl, wanna grab a flirtini or three at Daddy's Bar?"
|by Anonymous||reply 32||05/18/2011|
Wow, that pic @ R28 is perfect and I agree that JRM possesses this same hyper-alert, overly awake look.
|by Anonymous||reply 33||05/18/2011|
I think the OP's gay gaze is a totally different look than gayface or crazyface, folks. It's a sleepy eyed look. I call it "lizard face." Lance Bass totally has it. Bradley Cooper has it in some pictures, too, to a lesser extent. But it's not wide open eyes. It's the opposite, almost.
|by Anonymous||reply 34||05/18/2011|
I actually think r20 has come the closet to hitting the truth. I completely know what the OP is talking about, and I agree, the "gay gaze" is something I've seen exclusively in gay guys. I doubt it is genetic, but I am guessing there is a behavioral component from growing up gay in a heteronormative culture.
|by Anonymous||reply 35||05/18/2011|
What an unfortunate face. PLEASE, someone start a post with "celebrities" that are hard to look at (i.e. John C. Reilly, Jack Black, Phillip Seymour[SEE LESS] Hoffman, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Mickey Rourke, etc., etc.)
|by Anonymous||reply 36||05/18/2011|
I think Jai Rodriguez is a better example of what OP is describing. (see link)
I think Lance Bass had the look when he was younger and still closeted but I didn't notice it in recent pictures when I searched. I think there's something to the hyper-alert theory.
|by Anonymous||reply 37||05/19/2011|
You mean like this?
|by Anonymous||reply 38||05/19/2011|
Please someone start the thread that r36 was asking for, it will be fun!
|by Anonymous||reply 39||05/19/2011|
How do you post a picture that'll show right up in the thread here?
|by Anonymous||reply 40||05/19/2011|
You have to link to the web address of the actual picture, not just the website you find it on. If you right click on the picture you should get an option to copy image location. Do that and paste it in the URL box.
However, some sites don't allow direct linking so the picture might not show up anyway.
|by Anonymous||reply 41||05/19/2011|
I love Bomer @R28.Hyper alert eyes observing the world in a conscious way,very different to straight guys who sleepwalk their way through life.
|by Anonymous||reply 42||05/19/2011|
Lots of Special K and Crystal Meth. %0D %0D Circuit parties are the only place where I can actually relate that look (I used to call them K eyes) exclusively to gay people and their fellow revelers. %0D %0D Otherwise, straights and gays alike have a chance at looking like that for many reasons. I don't think it is a variant of gayface and it has nothing to do with being gay.
|by Anonymous||reply 43||05/19/2011|
R43 None of the guys I know who have the gay gaze are drug users. None.
|by Anonymous||reply 44||05/19/2011|
When you said "gay gaze" who came to mind for me? Funny, or not, but it was Kyan Douglas the hair guy from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy -- which I haven't seen in many years. He always looked hyper-awake or something, yeah deer in the headlights...
|by Anonymous||reply 45||05/19/2011|
r44 I'm not saying that drugs are the cause for the gaze on people in general, your friends included. I'm saying that the only time you could really call it a "gay gaze" is at circuit parties because you the look does prevail there (due to the drug use) and most of the participants are gay. %0D %0D Other than that, it's just a "blank stare" that gays and straights alike can have and no reason to link it to the gay "gene."%0D %0D In other words, stop trying to make "gay gaze" happen. It has no basis. It's not like "gayface" or "smelling cookies." You're not coining a phrase.
|by Anonymous||reply 46||05/19/2011|
R46 Speak for yourself, I've never met a straight man with this type of look in his eye. No one's trying to coin a phrase here, idiot.
|by Anonymous||reply 47||05/19/2011|
|by Anonymous||reply 48||05/19/2011|
Is there a lesbian version?
|by Anonymous||reply 49||05/19/2011|
[quote] I've never met a straight man with this type of look in his eye. %0D %0D Poster child for this type of blank stare (inherited from his also straight Mom)
|by Anonymous||reply 50||05/19/2011|
R50 I don't see how that's a gay gaze, sorry
|by Anonymous||reply 51||05/19/2011|
|by Anonymous||reply 52||05/19/2011|
[quote]No one's trying to coin a phrase here, idiot.%0D %0D %0D Troll-dar says otherwise
|by Anonymous||reply 53||05/19/2011|
No one seems able to agree on what the hell "gay gaze" is, so it does kind of seem like a massive fail.
|by Anonymous||reply 54||05/19/2011|
'Gay gaze' is already a phrase so thanks for playing.
|by Anonymous||reply 55||05/19/2011|
[quote]'Gay gaze' is already a phrase so thanks for playing.%0D %0D Link, please!%0D %0D You just won't quit. will you? I find it funny
|by Anonymous||reply 56||05/19/2011|
Have you ever seen a woman who is smitten with a man? Well, since gay men get whatever makes woman attracted to men we also get the smitten look in the eye that women get.
|by Anonymous||reply 57||05/19/2011|
Every person mentioned as having gay gaze wears silicone hydrogel soft contact lenses.
|by Anonymous||reply 58||05/19/2011|
This is an interesting article...hits a little bit on what constitutes "gay eyes"...
|by Anonymous||reply 59||05/19/2011|
They don't have the weary look in their eyes that guys who are brow-beaten by woman have.
|by Anonymous||reply 60||05/19/2011|
YOU ALL DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT THE OP MEANS. GAY "GAZE" IS A HEAVY LIDDED, SLEEPY LOOK. IT IS NOT NOT NOT NOT the WIDE OPEN "GAYFACE" "surprised eyes" LOOK. REPEAT, the GAY GAZE is a SLEEPY, HEAVY LIDDED, LIZARD TYPE OF STARE. It is not the same as "gay face." Please, understand the difference. Gay gaze, like Lance Bass has, like JFK, Jr. had, like some people with a sort of heavy lidded, BLANK STARE, sort of like a zombie or a robot or a lizard. It is sort of a "I just took a tranquilizer" look.
|by Anonymous||reply 61||05/19/2011|
|by Anonymous||reply 62||05/19/2011|
|by Anonymous||reply 63||05/19/2011|
Isn't that a stoned look?
|by Anonymous||reply 64||05/19/2011|
"Does anyone know what causes the gay gaze?"%0D %0D Utter vacancy, vapidity and vacuousness.
|by Anonymous||reply 65||05/19/2011|
gay gaze AKA as "lizard sunning on a rock" gaze AKA "sleepy eyes" AKA "I am tranquilized" AKA "heavy lidded."
|by Anonymous||reply 66||05/19/2011|
TC: Hey Kate, I was thinking. What do think of my eyes?
KC: Your...eyes? Well, they're great. You have really nice eyes.
TC: Think so? Thanks honey. You have the most beautiful eyes too. They look really pretty.
KC: Oh, thanks baby. You're so sweet.
TC: I know. But listen, you don't think my eyes show too much...white, do you? I mean, if you were to look at my eyes - say you didn't know me - you wouldn't maybe say, nice eyes, great eyes, handsome guy, but overall, he's showing too much white in his eyes?
KC: (Wary yet again)...I don't think so, no. No, I'd say you had the balance...just right. Exactly right. Like I said - great eyes!
TC: Good. I mean, you wouldn't say I had like a...staring kind of look? Showing too much white. It's just a normal look, right?
KC: Absolutely normal. Totally normal. Just like any regular megastar! Just like MY regular megastar!
TC: (Sighs with relief) Ah, thanks, honey. You're just the best, you know that?
KC: So are you, baby. (Nerving herself) Anyway, why'd you ask, sweetie?
TC: Mmm? Why? Ah, it's to do with...all this new...screen technology. Y'know - high definition. I need to know from you I'll look as good as ever. And now I know, so everythings's cool! I got a meeting now honey. Catch you later.
(TC exits, looking himself in the eye in a mirror, as KC urgently seeks a special pill in her bag.)
|by Anonymous||reply 67||05/19/2011|
r64,YES. It can definitely be called a stoned look. But a lot of gay guys seem to have it.
|by Anonymous||reply 68||05/19/2011|
See, I'm not making this up:
|by Anonymous||reply 69||05/19/2011|
This is the definition of the gay gaze:
|by Anonymous||reply 70||05/19/2011|
R61 Your post is hypnotic! "You are getting sleepy..."
|by Anonymous||reply 71||05/19/2011|
r69, your link is to the phrase "gay eyes", which defines the look you are trying to coin as "gay gaze." It definitely comes from a quasi-homophobic angle in that urban dictionary (shallow = gay). I still can think of many straight bimbo men with the same look - one considered vapid by most of society (hence my homophobic claim). %0D %0D r61 isn't what you are referring to most commonly known as "bedroom eyes?"%0D %0D Again, I don't think either of them is an exclusively gay trait. Gayface, i.e. pursed/pouty lips and a seductive leer, may be another story.
|by Anonymous||reply 72||05/19/2011|
R72 Nitpicky much? Gay eyes/gay gaze...same fuckin' thing. And again--one one's trying to "coin" anything.
|by Anonymous||reply 73||05/19/2011|
Actually it's what R26 says.
Straight men feel the need to scowl to look tough and strong. It's all defensive posturing.
Gays don't have that inclination.
|by Anonymous||reply 74||05/19/2011|
You all are crazy gays...
|by Anonymous||reply 75||05/19/2011|
So it all boils down to drama. We're more emotive?
|by Anonymous||reply 76||05/19/2011|
I believe what the OP is talking about is actually "Crazy Eyes" seen here:
|by Anonymous||reply 77||05/19/2011|
|by Anonymous||reply 78||05/19/2011|
|by Anonymous||reply 79||05/19/2011|
|by Anonymous||reply 80||05/19/2011|
We used to call it the "come hither" look.
|by Anonymous||reply 81||05/19/2011|
Before and After Gayface at link, complete with Lance Bass-ian wide-eyed, deer-in-headlights gaze -- everything pulled a little too tightly, tensed, frozen, a too-wide smile, the eyebrows too arched, everything just on the far side of naturally animated.
|by Anonymous||reply 82||05/19/2011|
Here's the "After" face from link above.
|by Anonymous||reply 83||05/19/2011|
And the "Before" face:
|by Anonymous||reply 84||05/19/2011|
Thanks for the article R59.
[quote](For example, one of my PhD students, David Harnden-Warwick, has a casual hunch that gay men may have sharper, clearer irises than straight men.)
|by Anonymous||reply 85||05/19/2011|
Take your pick:
|by Anonymous||reply 86||05/19/2011|
5 pages and no one mentioned the ultimate gay gazer, Jake Shears.
|by Anonymous||reply 87||05/19/2011|
R87 I don't know who that is but OUCH! He just hurt my gaydar!
|by Anonymous||reply 88||05/19/2011|
Your soul belongs to me
|by Anonymous||reply 89||05/19/2011|
The gay gaze, as r20 hints at, is born from years of being taunted, antagonized, and bullied. It comes from having to be hyper alert to what others in your immediate surrounding are doing and saying because you realize that you are a potential target for harassment or violence.
|by Anonymous||reply 90||05/19/2011|
LOL R82. You're spot on.%0D %0D BTW, I'm a chef. I do gay glaze very well.%0D %0D
|by Anonymous||reply 91||05/19/2011|
R91 That's kind of sad if it's true.
|by Anonymous||reply 92||05/19/2011|
I've always interpreted the look as someone super-focused on taking in the scenery, especially if there are men in it. With (much) experience, it can work almost like x-ray vision along with a computational evaluation as done by a Terminator.
|by Anonymous||reply 93||05/19/2011|
It never struck me as an observational stance, rather as hyper-reactive. %0D %0D The look is similar to that of camera hams, those people who can "smell" a camera and miss no opportunity to be photographed, moving instantly to dead-center-in-the-frame optimum placement, transfixing a face into an overly calculated pose: eyes a little too wide, smile a little too big and too sparkling, everything tensed into a forced look that grabs attention yet has a nervousness about it.
|by Anonymous||reply 94||05/19/2011|
[quote]moving instantly to dead-center-in-the-frame optimum placement, transfixing a face into an overly calculated pose: eyes a little too wide, smile a little too big and too sparkling, everything tensed into a forced look that grabs attention yet has a nervousness about it.%0D %0D %0D You just described Daniel Benedict in the NY Social Diary though he doesn't do the smile part. He tries to look more pleasantly amused than happy.
|by Anonymous||reply 95||05/19/2011|
[quote]moving instantly to dead-center-in-the-frame optimum placement, transfixing a face into an overly calculated pose: eyes a little too wide, smile a little too big and too sparkling, everything tensed into a forced look that grabs attention yet has a nervousness about it.
I think thats just gay face.
This is a gaze, Im not sure if its "gay gaze" since straight people gaze all the time too.
|by Anonymous||reply 96||05/19/2011|
R96 I don't see that guy as having a gaze at all. Gay gaze is a look in the eyes that just screams "GAY!!!" and I simply do not see it in straight guys. I've never mistaken a straight guy for being gay based on the gaze in his eyes. It's hard to describe in words, but there is a sixth sense about it.
|by Anonymous||reply 97||05/19/2011|
r97, a gaze doesnt *scream* anything though. A gaze is a calm thoughtful look. If a face is screaming gay than that is gay face.
|by Anonymous||reply 98||05/19/2011|
He looks like a boy bander from decades ago.
|by Anonymous||reply 99||05/24/2011|
I've noticed it too. I think its a genetic/hormonal marker that manifests in the outward physiology of gay men ( such as the swirl of hair going counterclockwise in gay men where straight men's hair swirl goes clockwise) . Neurological studies theorize that an expectant mother's immune system attacks the brain development of the male fetus which modifies his sexual orientation. The same process that affects the brain also has an impact on the eyes.
|by Anonymous||reply 100||06/16/2012|
|by Anonymous||reply 102||03/05/2013|
R61 OP said wide-eyes, deer-in headlights look....sorta of a "look, aren't my eyes sparklingly beautiful like diamods? hope you mesmerized" showy-showy look...definately not sleepy-eyes. DL pet Matt Bomer has them.
|by Anonymous||reply 103||03/06/2013|