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Memorable Threads?

What are some of the most memorable [italic]Datalounge[/italic] threads?%0D %0D %0D I nominate [italic]Frosting Can Dad[/italic] (not exact title), about the father who went to his teen-age daughter's school to confront her over a missing can of frosting.

by Anonymousreply 14701/20/2013

I remember years ago there was an AIDS memorial thread. The stories were chilling, hopeful and amazing. We' ve lived through so much. That was back when Datalounge had some heart left.

by Anonymousreply 105/16/2011

we just did this thread 2 weeks ago.

by Anonymousreply 205/17/2011

Dee Hall here. Any questions?

by Anonymousreply 305/17/2011

Oooh, I LOVE that thread R2! It was frickin' hysterical. I wish I had copied and saved it.

by Anonymousreply 405/17/2011

I Walked Into a Situation That Resulted in Me Getting My Face Slapped, HARD.

by Anonymousreply 505/17/2011

My Landlord Is Spying On Me And I Am Going To Break Into His Apartment While He's Gone And Check Out The Situation!%0D %0D Runner-up: There's A Gargoyle Living Next Door To Me.%0D

by Anonymousreply 605/17/2011

I nominate the Most Memorable Datalounge Threads thread from two weeks ago. It was a fabulous thread filled with wonderful memories.

by Anonymousreply 705/17/2011

I Am Not a Bed & Breakfast: My Fabulous Life Invloving a Graceless Trick, Two Turkey Meatballs and a Single Towel.%0D %0D The Eternal Dilemma: Should Guests Be Forced to Remove Their Shoes on Entering My Abode%0D %0D Is a Request for a Coke Refill at Your Local Restaurant the Very Definition of White Trash

by Anonymousreply 805/17/2011

The Chevy Tahoe make-your-own commercial thread of spring 2006.

GM posted a tool you could use to make your own Tahoe commercial and then link to it. GM did not count on DLers getting involved with it. There were some very funny and creative DLers in that thread.

by Anonymousreply 1005/17/2011

The whole point of this thread is that the OP learned how to do italics and wanted to show off. See how tidy her thread opener was?

My votes go to the memorable threads I started:

Lesbian Pot Luck Wedding Reception

Suri Cruise's Diary

Joey Luft's Worst Memory

Because it's all about me.

by Anonymousreply 1105/17/2011

The first almiqui thread

"Help me name my baby. NO FUCKING FLAMES!"

by Anonymousreply 1205/17/2011

Dialing a phone with a pencil....

by Anonymousreply 1305/17/2011

The "Is Fresca a diet softdrink or not" thread was awesome.%0D

by Anonymousreply 1405/17/2011

I prefer the "indie" threads to the great blockbusters like "Dialing the Phone With a Pencil," though I love them too.

- Nasty Pig and "shopbottoms"

- Heidi and Rob Beer, the most boring couple in America

- "Famous JonBenets in History, and Their Accomplishments"

- Star Jones' Wedding, aka "The Marriage of Bigaro"

There was a now-forgotten "What the Desperate Housewives Are Doing Right This Second" thread, long forgotten, that had me rolling. ("I'm in my trailer, eating a sensible lunch of carrot sticks and calling my husband, the film actor William H. Macy.")

Once upon a time, a thread with the juicy potential of the TCM Cruise would have had hundreds of posts by now... ah, how times have changed.

by Anonymousreply 1505/17/2011

[quote]GM posted a tool you could use to make your own Tahoe commercial and then link to it. GM did not count on DLers getting involved with it. There were some very funny and creative DLers in that thread.

Whoever did the one dissing Cheryl has my undying devotion.

by Anonymousreply 1605/17/2011

Nostalgic bump.

by Anonymousreply 1705/17/2011

The cocktail party, hosted by our own Josh. It's what brought me here in the forst place...

by Anonymousreply 1805/17/2011

I second r18!

And the baked potato bar party thread

by Anonymousreply 1905/17/2011

I am late to DL, but the thread that caught my attention was Once around the garden. I am always so sad that there is not a record of some of the subjects that get mentioned on these threads. Webbie could have published a book.

by Anonymousreply 2005/17/2011

Not a fun thread but the one that is archived about 9/11.%0D %0D %0D The thread that first brought me here.. The chorus boy sleeping with other chorus boys.. SPILL! thread.

by Anonymousreply 2105/17/2011

My Vegan Girlfriend Cried Into Her Tupperware Container On The Front Porch thread - came with menstrual hut after the first Mich thread

I'm All Alone On Thanksgiving thread - my contribution was so cool

Marshall Law thread - just saw an authenticated user and was reminded

Flowers for a Jewish Wedding thread- spiral ham, threesome, etc.

Grumpy's relatives thread- "I'm Grumpy's Blatino cousin Chalumpy."

Cuddle Ray thread - Cuddle Ray was so sincere and matter of fact

Girl With Missing Feet thread - perfection

I'm Miss Irene Cara thread - lots of fun

Busload of Cheerleaders Die in Fiery Crash - one last pyramid of caskets

Lee Ann De Vette has Restless Leg Syndrome - don't know why

I Need A Shelf About Yay Big From Here To Here - fun with a poster who was bad with spatial distance or was very stoned.

G0Y Manifesto Troll thread

Martha, Inc thread - You're daughter is a whore!

by Anonymousreply 2205/17/2011

I recall fondly the "L&O Dialogue" one.

by Anonymousreply 2305/17/2011

If everyone saves the favorites they posted in this thread, it will be easier to repost them when OP starts the same topic two weeks from now. That way we can fill the thread faster. If that works well, then OP can start a weekly thread on this topic.

by Anonymousreply 2405/17/2011

"Surreal TV Moments" which included Tom Selleck's hardon during Battle of the Network Stars, scenery toppling during the old Dark Shadows series, and a kid's TV show where the squirrel puppet's head fell off and the operator didn't notice for a while.

by Anonymousreply 2505/17/2011

I have to say one of the most memorable threads for me was the "Free Refills on Soft Drinks" thread.%0D %0D

by Anonymousreply 2605/18/2011

There was a thread titled something like "Selections from the Autobiography of Rosie's Daughter Vivi" which was so well-written and realistic that it became depressing.

Depressingly wonderful, that is.

by Anonymousreply 2705/18/2011

"I'm in Love with My Father-in Law" which set the Datalounge standard for a truly absorbing, blockbuster elaborate sneario thread.%0D %0D "Cash Bars at Weddings"%0D %0D "Man Dies from Having Sex with A Horse."%0D %0D All from the mid 2000s. I'm still at the DL "chasing the high" of those threads.%0D %0D Honorable mention to the thread about the guy in Florida who shot and killed a three foot iguana in his yard. He posted as "Daniel Boon."%0D %0D Animal lovers came out in droves against him, but I think he was an est poster.

by Anonymousreply 2805/18/2011

[quote]"Surreal TV Moments" which included Tom Selleck's hardon during Battle of the Network Stars,

How the hell did I miss this? (Both the thread and the actual boner.)

by Anonymousreply 2905/18/2011

[quote]I am always so sad that there is not a record of some of the subjects that get mentioned on these threads.

I am about to blow your mind, Ciaran - I have copies of MANY great classic threads!

They're in Word 2003 format, zipped together, at the link.

by Anonymousreply 3005/18/2011

Oh, I can assure you there is NOTHING unsafe about these files. I'm not a hacker/cracker/wtf-ever, just a fellow DLer with a fondness for copy-pasting funny things.

But if you guys prefer, I can convert the threads to fugly plain text format to prove there's nothing bad in them.

Here's Let's Roll Cinnamon Rolls in plain text:

by Anonymousreply 3105/18/2011

I downloaded them last time. CC is right, there's no virus or anything - just a bunch of threads, most of them funny. Thanks for saving them.

by Anonymousreply 3205/18/2011

The original Helen Lawson thread, in which we were regaled with tales of Helen's long career and drunken insanity, was a work of comedic genius - I couldn't read it at work because if literally had me crying from laughing so hard. I wish I'd saved it.

by Anonymousreply 3305/18/2011

The Debra Messing threads/posts. [I think Haiti scenario was my favorite.]

by Anonymousreply 3405/18/2011

Americans and Brits - therapy:

I was just recently talking with a co-worker about the differences between the Brits and Americans we work with (all upper/middle upper class types). This is in no way a general criticism of all Americans, but just something I have noticed.

A lot of the Americans are in therapy, which I have no problem with, but they never stop talking about it, or the reasons they are there. It's like in some weird way they WANT to be victims. They're obsessed with their 'terrible' childhoods and count things like parents who were too busy to spend much time with them as child abuse. Some of them have been in therapy for 2 years and still don't seem to have gotten anywhere. I'm all for therapy if it helps people, but these folks just seem to enjoy wallowing in self pity. They take any little thing and blow it up into this huge deal that ruined their life. I know some of the British people didn't have the greatest childhoods either, alcoholic parents, physical abuse etc, and they don't act like this. They figure that's what life has dealt them - deal with it and move on. The Americans criticize this 'stiff upper lip' mentality, saying it's supressing their true emotions etc but is it really so bad? They seem happy than their American counterparts, for whom therapy just seems to bring up every bad memory from the past to prevent them from moving on.

A couple of the Brits are irritated by the American's habit of making everything into a big deal, a coffee cup left on a desk turns into a 'major lack of respect for other people', and other petty statements. They will demand to know 'what someone meant' by an obviously harmless, humorous comment, claiming that it had another meaning. One of the Brits lost it a while ago and told them to get a life, and something real to worry about which obviously caused great offense. It makes me wonder if I come across in the same way, although I'm not one of those 'therapy' types, I do overanalyse. Is it true? Are we so spoiled that we have to find stuff to complain about?

by Anonymousreply 3505/18/2011

Let's pretend we're American!

So, like, Europe is in Paris , right, or is it in Sweden ? My geography isn't so good, but I'm great at math!

Oh my god you're from England? Your accent is so cute! What do you mean so is mine? I don't have an accent! Do you guys have the same stores over there?

I remember once, in America, this girl, she must have been about 16, asked me if we spoke English in England.

You know, your feelings are valid, but I need closure on this right now.

OK, R7, I need to share...I feel anger toward (pronounced to'rd) you, right now.

Do you guys have weekends in Europe?

How much is your health insurance? Mine is like $5,000 a month and I still got a $350,000 bill for life-saving treatment. God bless America! Oh well at least I get 3 days vacation this year.

OMG I feel a bit sad today. *pops anti-depressant pill* Ah, now I feel validated.

I feel really close to you guys, right now. You're my pals. I'm gonna really open up to you ...tell you all my shit, 'bout my Mom, my anger tord my Dad...(but hey, don't expect me to even fucking acknowledge you next week).

Do you have microwaves in London ?

Has anyone seen my curling iron?

You mean I can't get what I want when I want it? Waaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!! Waaaaaaaaah! Waaaaaaaah! :(

I wanna travel the world. Anywhere. Everywhere. You know, as long as it's clean and they speak English and it's safe.

Reading is for loosers.

Room service?? There's a light switch in my room. How does that go again?

Excuse me! Where's the nearest McDonalds?

Europe is just like home, only more primitive

"Is Hitler still alive? Is he the current president?"

OMG! Like, are you gonna read that WHOLE book? OMG, you're so weird. You're like such a nerd, OMG!

Wow, I just met you and I can tell you all these personal things about me. Funny, next week I won't even remember you.

Even though I'm a Democrat, I'm like really uptight about everything just like those Republicans I hate so much.

What do you do? (this way I can calculate your personal worth to me upon meeting you)

Those Iranquians feel they can be the winner, but they don't know America is NUMBER ONE! They don't know how George Washington Bush (that old one) beat them at Pearl Harbor during the Sybil Wars, plus MORE places! I am education and learn't my history and junk!

Stop oppressing me with your HATRED!!! OMG!

by Anonymousreply 3605/18/2011

"Nancy Reagan's Dyke Connections" thread.

"Datalounge Classics" thread. Where did that get lost along the way?

The original "What Celebrities Are Really Thinking" thread.

I don't remember the name of the thread, but it evolved into everybody doing takes on a character named Mrs. Turlock peeing on her flowers to water them. Something along the lines of "Write the first line of a bad novel."

Amusement park girl losing her feet in accident.

Six Flags Georgia boy losing his head in accident.

Six or so cheerleaders crashing and burning in a van.

I know those last three were sick, but some of the comments were hellaciously funny.

by Anonymousreply 3705/18/2011

Also, one where Lola and Rocco talked to each other behind Madonna's back.

by Anonymousreply 3805/18/2011

Meta is so boring the 5th time you do it, op.%0D %0D This shit is so stale by now.

by Anonymousreply 3905/18/2011

Nick & Kelli's love story and last years Michfest thread starring Rose.

by Anonymousreply 4005/18/2011

"Hello, Matt"

by Anonymousreply 4105/18/2011

There was a lesbian est thread about two years ago about two women breaking up after a potluck related fight. then one lesbian sics her dog on her gf and the fleeing gf escapes to her jeep with the dog chomping at her boots. The ex lovers later agree to meet at WalMart for a property exchange, but the jeep driving lesbian felt uneasy. She left us hanging.

by Anonymousreply 4205/18/2011

[quote]Six or so cheerleaders crashing and burning in a van.

For a while, "charred cheerleaders" was an annual thread.

I don't mean we kept re-hashing it, I mean that stupid bitches kept burning up in their freaking vans!

by Anonymousreply 4305/18/2011

My favorites:

Frosting Can Dad

The Guy Who Took Claire to Dinner

Move It Along Toots

Shiloh Pepin, Mermad Girl

Turkey Meatball Towel Guy

by Anonymousreply 4405/18/2011

Me too

by Anonymousreply 4505/18/2011

The nastiest person on Broadway parts one and two

Loved it, wish there was part 3

by Anonymousreply 4605/18/2011

Weird little girl who lives next door will remain one of my all time favorites. I will second the Nasty Pig thread just for the term "sales bottom".

by Anonymousreply 4705/18/2011

Sows at the Trough was good for several pages; also, the Satan-possessed girlfriend. The originator later admitted the story was bogus, but it was hilarious.

by Anonymousreply 4805/18/2011

Denny, a chubby, naive young gay Ohioan, packs Samsonite bag and three twenty-dollar bills, departs for an indeterminate stay on the magical island of Manhattan, leaving behind worried friend.

by Anonymousreply 4905/18/2011

Where's the Let's Roll thread? BEST EVER!

by Anonymousreply 5005/18/2011

My favorite is still My neighbor is a Gargoyle.

by Anonymousreply 5105/18/2011

OMG CC, you have the sluicing butterfish thread in there! Thank you! That was one of my faves.

Like R3, I also loved "Dee Hall here, any questions?"

And any of the original fibromyalgia threads where we constructed movie plots around the illness and the toll it takes on loved ones!

by Anonymousreply 5205/18/2011

numbchucks are so 1950s

by Anonymousreply 5305/18/2011

[quote]The nastiest person on Broadway parts one and two Loved it, wish there was part 3%0D %0D %0D What is stopping you from starting part 3?%0D %0D

by Anonymousreply 5405/21/2011

The two Helen Lawson threads were genius. I also loved the 'Selections from Justin Guarini's autobiography' thread.

by Anonymousreply 5505/21/2011

Thanks CC :)

by Anonymousreply 5605/21/2011

My all-time favorites:

I'm not running a fucking B&B

The Most Boring Couple in America

Girl loses feet at Six Flags (I loved this because for about a year, she always showed up in threads where people were whining about their problems)

Once Around the Garden

The Baked Potato Bar

by Anonymousreply 5705/21/2011

There was also one a while back about someone who went to use the bathroom in Joann Fabrics due to severe and urgent diarrhea, but it's been ages.%0D %0D The offensive joke threads.%0D %0D Some of the "I was so drunk I can't believe I did X" threads.%0D %0D The guy who sent the video of him jerking off to everyone in his address book, and we never heard from him again.%0D

by Anonymousreply 5905/23/2011

Celebrity Frangrances from 2005 was pretty funny as was Name Your Favorite Helen Lawson Show - truly inventive. Sumerian Housewives was brilliant All time best thread was WTC is an insatiable bottom from 9/11 - the sky really was so blue that day. %0D %0D Also - Matt & Ben letters and Liza's Divorce Diary.

by Anonymousreply 6005/23/2011

I saw the poster for Vanilla Sky. It's just a big picture of Tommy and his face.

by Anonymousreply 6105/23/2011

Dialing the phone with a pencil

by Anonymousreply 6205/24/2011

My favorite was the last of the scores of "Favorite Datalounge Sayings/Threads" thread. I think it was 4 or 5 days ago.

by Anonymousreply 6305/24/2011

[quote]Move It Along Toots

I loved that thread for the original post alone.

by Anonymousreply 6405/24/2011

Dead Tawny Kitaen in the Middle of the Road.

There was a troll who was obsessed with posting threads about animal torture, animal killings, animal deaths. If there was a story somewhere in the news that graphically described something bad that an animal endured or succumbed to, that troll found it and posted it on Datalounge.

One of his threads was about his outrage at seeing a dead kitten in the middle of the road. Everyone had it up to here with his gross threads, so the dead kitten one got parodied. It was a truly funny parody, especially since the usual Datalounge gullibles thought Tawny Kitaen really had been seen lying in the middle of the road.

by Anonymousreply 6505/24/2011

That suit Ryan Gosling wore at Cannes stuck in my mind.

by Anonymousreply 6605/24/2011

I wanted to put in a word for "DAAT'S DA SUCKJOB!"

by Anonymousreply 6705/24/2011

God that one made me laugh too. It was a thread about "wrong sex" or something, and the guy had gotten a BJ from a kid with down's syndrome. I died!

by Anonymousreply 6805/24/2011

"Sows at the Trough." The gold standard for DL classic threads.

by Anonymousreply 6905/24/2011

A simple thread about a guy visiting a friend in Astoria, stating why he hated the area, turned into a battle of wits, class and talking trash, between a LES resident versus an UWS troll. They were battling it out for many pages on DL.

It was deducted, by many posters, that the UWS guy wasn't even living in NY!

by Anonymousreply 7005/24/2011

Don't forget the Cash Bar at Wedding thread!

by Anonymousreply 7105/24/2011

Sex with Falco%0D %0D Free refills%0D %0D

by Anonymousreply 7205/24/2011

Aussie rugby player plays with a dog

by Anonymousreply 7306/01/2011

On the thread where Patrick Swayze's cancer announcement was first discussed, a poster named Ken from Philly wrote how he was suffering from pancreatic cancer and didn't have much longer to live. He posted a few more times and then vanished - it's haunted me ever since, really.

by Anonymousreply 7411/29/2011

The Red Dragon Cheese thread.

by Anonymousreply 7511/29/2011

My personal fave was the "Pete Burns has low hangers" thread.

It was only about 3 pages but it was fucking hilarious.

I still giggle everytime I hear the term "low hanging fruit" because of that thread.

by Anonymousreply 7611/29/2011

Hey, R74. Thanks. I'm on the other side now but visit the DataLounge through automatic writing thanks to a guy named Chisel who gets drunk and thinks he's on line surfing for straight porn but I take over and come on over here and stir up some trouble. Yeah, that pancreatic cancer was some fucked up shit. It's a lot better being dead. And most of the good looking guys are dead now anyway. Sex is great here. No refractory. And no douche necessary. Oh, Jesus is cool, too. Real cool, if you catch my drift. Cut. But you knew that.

by Anonymousreply 7711/29/2011

Commentary re: Kevin Spacey and "friend" hike/shoulder massage/lap inspection photo spread. I remember a Spacey Frau deluding all over it. No?

by Anonymousreply 7811/29/2011

Seems like a lifetime ago. Anderson Cooper and his Hello Kitty collection. Complete with a Katie Couric wig.

by Anonymousreply 7911/29/2011

Other great threads have already been listed so I won't repeat.

God help me, the "I just slept with Jani Lane" thread was one that I checked on regularly while it was happening. Loved the blow by blow updates. It was sad that he died about 6 wks later.

I also get pulled into the dramatic threads, i.e. "I'm going to confront my partner when s/he gets home about his/her affair and get back to everyone afterwards with the update." I'm such a sucker for those.

by Anonymousreply 8011/29/2011

Things str8 girls mistakenly think other people find absolutely adorable about themselves

At The Movies with Nan Michiganwomyn

Datalounge 1973

Horrific childhood TV viewing experiences that warped you

by Anonymousreply 8111/29/2011

African Baby Catalog was DL at it very finest.

by Anonymousreply 8211/29/2011

"Carbon Paper" - hands down!

by Anonymousreply 8311/29/2011

There have been so many threads that I've loved over the years. The most recent ones that come to my mind:

- Frosting Can Dad - Celebrity Babies Fighting - Guy who accidentally e-mailed everyone his nudes on his contact list. - Inter-Office E-Mail Thread - Red Dragon Cheese

... and my favorite of all ....

- Jason Patrick / Jasmine Guy Thread

by Anonymousreply 8411/29/2011

There was some random thread back in the day about how uncouth it is to order ranch dressing (right up there with the hate of Olive Garden) and "raaaaaaanch!" became one of the buzzwords for a while.

I also remember some funny thread about a waiter (Phillip?) at a cheese shop who apparently had the perfect bubble butt; Various posters would go down to the shop and check him out while he was on duty. 2 funny!

by Anonymousreply 8511/30/2011

Was Sumerian Housewives the same as Sumerian Chickpea farmers?? Either way, the one with Sumerians had tears running down my cheeks. Also the thread about freaks in my office, with the cat lady and the guy screaming so loud he scared the Fed Ex delivery person. I howled!

by Anonymousreply 8611/30/2011

African baby catalogue

by Anonymousreply 8711/30/2011

I love Rob Beer. I've looked him up on Facebook and wanted to friend him, but never have.

As for this: [quote]The ex lovers later agree to meet at WalMart for a property exchange, but the jeep driving lesbian felt uneasy. She left us hanging.

Lesbians always leave us hanging. They can't get their shit together (see MRMU, Michfest).

by Anonymousreply 8811/30/2011

Bump

by Anonymousreply 8905/24/2012

The "Marky Mark saving the world one historic incident after another" thread. That one almost put me in traction.

by Anonymousreply 9005/24/2012

MRMU had a family emergency come up on the way to Fest and had to deal with that, as far as I recall, r88.

by Anonymousreply 9105/24/2012

The gaggle of queens filming themselves learning about Princess Diana's death had me rolling. Just the snarky comments about the decor, and the scream the guy let out....so funny.

by Anonymousreply 9205/24/2012

200 posts where we all compared notes on how our mothers made us stay out of the living room lest we mess it up.

There was one guy whose mom was obsessed with rectal worms getting on the couch.

by Anonymousreply 9305/24/2012

NOW we're bumping old threads about memorable threads?

This is the equivalent of a coprophagic dog going at it for a fourth cycle.

by Anonymousreply 9405/24/2012

Ahem!

by Anonymousreply 9505/24/2012

From years ago - a poster who obsessively atarted threads on Trevor Blumas, obscure teen star. He'd get red-tagged and post after crazy post would light up, showing how he argued with himself.

More recently - the Michfest thread about the woman who got ripped off on her supposed bus ticket that turned into a too-close-for-comfort carpool.

by Anonymousreply 9605/24/2012

There was a gret thread on two NYC ka-weens who were supposed to get married at their lakeside cottage somewhere upstate. Instead of the wedding announcement in the NY Times, the paper actually did a story, with photos, of the actual break-up. The invitations had been sent so one of the guys had everyone assemble for his birthday party instead.

Interior photos of the cottage looked like it was furnished by the Salvation Army Thrift Store. A photo of one of the guys in his NYC apartment got plenty of comments. It turned out that kirker knew one or both of them.

It had to be one of the strangest stories I've ever seen in the Times.

by Anonymousreply 9705/24/2012

R74, I actually think about Ken sometimes. He came across as very real in that thread. He even authenticated I think, and assured us that when he passed he would have a friend let us know. I hate to think that he was a troll, I prefer to believe his friend just had no idea who we all were.

by Anonymousreply 9805/24/2012

Oh, dear!!! There was a great thread...

by Anonymousreply 9905/24/2012

R98, there used to be a poster here who was close friends with Patrick's brother when they were teenagers. I don't know whether it's the same guy. He would write about how Patrick had a nickname back then and how they'd hear or spy on him jerking off.

by Anonymousreply 10005/25/2012

Gayle Grinds, 9/11 thread, Elizabeth Mitchell's big hands, Secrets

by Anonymousreply 10105/25/2012

I love all the food threads. I'm always astonished at how greedy Americans want MORE REFILLS AND ALL YOU CAN EAT for next to nothing.

It's my "sows at the trough" thread.

by Anonymousreply 10205/25/2012

LMFAO at The opposum thread and

The Steve Sandvoss stalker with yellow teeth thread.

by Anonymousreply 10305/25/2012

The "Help, I'm being held prisoner by David Gest!" thread was awesome.

There was a French super model who wrote in pidgin English about all of the famous men and women who wanted to fuck her, including Jodie Foster, who drove a "truck de la pickup."

Derek Jeter swinging his bat around.

by Anonymousreply 10405/25/2012

A few no one has yet mentioned:

Let's pretend we're Portland, Oregon

Thanksgiving with Antonio Banderas and Melanie Griffith

Billy Masters in his blue batik Speedo

Lesbians and cats who solve mysteries

Let's write a Patricia Cornwall novel

by Anonymousreply 10505/25/2012

The First Annual Datalounge Womyn's Music Festival

by Anonymousreply 10605/25/2012

[quote]Billy Masters in his blue batik Speedo

It was unreal that he would appear in public with those love handles hanging over the Speedo. Worse yet, it was a gay event in Palm Springs and he walked on stage that way. The horror!!!!!!!

by Anonymousreply 10705/25/2012

More recently it was the Dionne Warwick thread from earlier this year.

The posts from "Dionne" were hysterical AND part of it all happened right as Whitney died…truly classic.

by Anonymousreply 10805/25/2012

No one mentioned the ass-exploding, butterfish cubicle meltdown?

Any etiquette or cooking/food prep thread is usually good for several funny posts.

Soda box in Fridge, a couple of "proper trick etiquette" ones had me howling, bread in the refrigerator, etc.

by Anonymousreply 10905/26/2012

Have to say my all time fave is The Nastiest Person on Broadway threads, parts one and 2

Scrolled past it for days and finally gave in and read the first few posts and couldn't stop.

Whoever would have thought Linda Lavin was so universally reviled or that Helen Mirren and Ian McKellen hated each other.

by Anonymousreply 11005/26/2012

r110 here with the link to the nastiest person on Broadway part 2

by Anonymousreply 11105/26/2012

My 3 favorite threads of all time:

The Guy Who Bought Claire Dinner

Frosting Dad

and Affable Eldergay Commits Suicide

in terms of sheer hilarity, the Mattie Stepanek and Shiloh Pepin threads were laugh riots.

by Anonymousreply 11205/26/2012

Those nastiest person on Broadway threads make SMASH and All About Eve look like childs play.

by Anonymousreply 11305/26/2012

R94 We're just trying to remember the warm, glowing, fun times.

You know - the ones before you came.

by Anonymousreply 11405/26/2012

Red Dragon Cheese, Let's Roll Cinnamon Rolls, Data Lounge Theme Park, Lesbian Pot-Luck Wedding Reception

by Anonymousreply 11505/26/2012

R114, dear, since several of the threads here were my darlings as the OP, I'll just say that at R94 I was merely doing my job with pointless bitchery, just as you were.

Oh. You thought you were making a point?

by Anonymousreply 11605/26/2012

You were absolutely fabulous r116. The back story of them not wanting to spend their own money on the reception so that they had money for the honeymoon really was so believable. And the honeymoon destination was wonderfully whacky for the bizarro couple. You had me wanting to crash that reception.

What are some of your other tall tales?

by Anonymousreply 11705/26/2012

'Let's Write A Patricia Cornwell Novel' was also a favorite of mine. It was too accurate.

'Let's Pretend We're An Episode Of Law & Order: SVU' was a scream as well.

Dammit, I wish we had an archive.

by Anonymousreply 11805/26/2012

The congee thread.

by Anonymousreply 11905/26/2012

"Datalounge September 10th 2001":

It's such a nice day today. I don't have a care in the world. I think I'll go sightseeing in NYC tomorrow. t

"Those fuckers have mismanaged my finances long enough! I'm going to march straight into their offices tomorrow morning and tell them exactly where they can put their quarterly administration fees..." by: Cantor Fitzgerald "Gold Star" Client

Lizzie Grubman, that trashy whore, I hope there's a special place in hell for someone stupid enough to run over all of those people. I am sure she'll never recover from this, let alone have a reality TV show!!! t

Fashion Week! Fashion Week! Yay!! I am already hungover, parties are in full swing! It's going to be the best week ever! t Less than a week till Ellen hosts the Emmy Awards! I can hardly wait to see her! t

Got to run to Barney's after work! I have a party tonight and must look hot! Just argued with my boss about taking tomorrow off but I won out! Yay! I am going to have fun tonight, no work tomorrow!!! Off to go shopping!

I'm going to the World Trade Center's Observation Deck tomorrow. I know if I get there by 8:30 a.m., there won't be a line!

Tomorrow is my first day at the new job. I can't believe it. I'm fulfilling a lifelong dream, to work in New York, at the World Trade Center. Am I the luckiest person alive or what!?

by Anonymousreply 12005/26/2012

"Boi on the Land!"

A poster named "DirtyWhiteBoi" has appeared on the Land at the MichWomynFest forum! Why call yourself a "boi" if you are middle-aged? No offense meant, but I think that is abandoning your womanly roots. The term generally applies to young, cute female-bodied folks who ID as not fully-female or cute, skinny gay boys. Neither of those describe you. --Whispering Willow

WhisperingWillow, Your questioning of DirtyWhiteBoi has rankled me. Self labeling is a personal statement for the individual.Your definition which requires a boi to be cute, young, and/or skinny sounds like misogyny. I have self identified as a soft boi for nearly 30 years. Should I change my identity to appease your needs? Oh...and no offense meant. --DruidFiver

Will WhisperingWillow let a charge of misogyny stand? Will DirtyWhiteBoi bend to her sistyr's demands? RESPECTFUL BUT STRAINED DISAGREEMENT ON THE LAND!

by Anonymousreply 12105/26/2012

"Let's pretend we're American!"

So, like, Europe is in Paris , right, or is it in Sweden ? My geography isn't so good, but I'm great at math!

Oh my god you're from England? Your accent is so cute! What do you mean so is mine? I don't have an accent! Do you guys have the same stores over there?

I remember once, in America, this girl, she must have been about 16, asked me if we spoke English in England.

You know, your feelings are valid, but I need closure on this right now.

OK, R7, I need to share...I fell anger toward (pronounced to'rd) you, right now.

Do you guys have weekends in Europe?

How much is your health insurance? Mine is like $5,000 a month and I still got a $350,000 bill for life-saving treatment. God bless America! Oh well at least I get 3 days vacation this year.

OMG I feel a bit sad today. *pops anti-depressant pill* Ah, now I feel validated.

I feel really close to you guys, right now. You're my pals. I'm gonna really open up to you ...tell you all my shit, 'bout my Mom, my anger tord my Dad...(but hey, don't expect me to even fucking acknowledge you next week).

Do you have microwaves in London ?

Has anyone seen my curling iron?

You mean I can't get what I want when I want it? Waaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!! Waaaaaaaaah! Waaaaaaaah! :(

I wanna travel the world. Anywhere. Everywhere. You know, as long as it's clean and they speak English and it's safe.

Reading is for loosers.

Room service?? There's a light switch in my room. How does that go again?

Excuse me! Where's the nearest McDonalds?

Europe is just like home, only more primitive

"Is Hitler still alive? Is he the current president?"

OMG! Like, are you gonna read that WHOLE book? OMG, you're so weird. You're like such a nerd, OMG!

Wow, I just met you and I can tell you all these personal things about me. Funny, next week I won't even remember you.

Even though I'm a Democrat, I'm like really uptight about everything just like those Republicans I hate so much.

What do you do? (this way I can calculate your personal worth to me upon meeting you)

Those Iranquians feel they can be the winner, but they don't know America is NUMBER ONE! They don't know how George Washington Bush (that old one) beat them at Pearl Harbor during the Sybil Wars, plus MORE places! I am education and learn't my history and junk!

Stop oppressing me with your HATRED!!! OMG!

by Anonymousreply 12205/26/2012

R117, thank you very much. I am deranged, and this is my only safe outlet. Not that I don't have other outlets. This is my only safe one.

I'm also Miss Warwick (xx to R108) when the occasion calls for it. I also posted at R11 an eon ago. Not tall tales, which are almost impossible nowadays, with every sharing questioned, denied and denounced, EST or true tale regardless.

I still laugh at Sumerian Housewives, the best of the Helen Lawsons, African Baby Catalogue, Red Dragon Cheese, Turkey Meatballs. The DL Amusement Park was brilliant. Lines such as "when the man goes up in the man" and "shitbra" have changed my life.

But not necessarily in a completely positive way.

by Anonymousreply 12305/26/2012

Claire and the Ruth's Chris threads

I still laugh every single time I walk past one of those over-priced joints

by Anonymousreply 12405/26/2012

I think it was Darren who founded the DL Amusement Park thread. Then a talanted artist created the map of Datalounge Land and updated it as new rides and stores were added.

R123, did you have a specific reason for placing the Lesbian Potluck in Jacksonville?

by Anonymousreply 12505/26/2012

[quote]I think it was Darren who founded the DL Amusement Park thread. Then a talanted artist created the map of Datalounge Land and updated it as new rides and stores were added.

"The Weird Little Girl Next Door's Weird Little Place House."

by Anonymousreply 12605/26/2012

Oops! talanted = talented

by Anonymousreply 12705/26/2012

I loved the " John Travolta admitted to me he's had sex with 100's of guys, and knows it'll never come out publically" . Guess he was right.

Posted 2/ 11/ 2013

by Anonymousreply 12805/26/2012

Yes, R125. It seemed plausible without being too obvious for anyone who didn't know the place (as in, "Why would someone make that up? It must be true.") and I knew that anyone who did know the place would recognize the "types." Which they did and reported their affirmations.

A good EST thread - one that is fundamentally absurd but touches on current social or cultural trends, is comedically satisfying, generates a diversity of committed posters, guarantees a sustained series of responses across at least four subthemes, and can be enjoyed both by those who "get it" and those who believe the literal text - requires care and timing. It's like building a little engine and then knowing when to step in and give things a kick without being too obvious.

It's still a gamble, of course, since it takes enough people willing to play who are credulous and enough people who are creative and discreet. That's why you don't see them much now. The balance has changed.

And that is my thesis, "EST Thread Development on the DataLounge: Tickling the Bitch with Stealth and Outrage."

by Anonymousreply 12905/26/2012

One of the best ones for me recently was the Bob Bergeron thread. People's comments were VERY wicked, but very funny.

by Anonymousreply 13005/26/2012

[quote]It seemed plausible without being too obvious for anyone who didn't know the place (as in, "Why would someone make that up? It must be true.") and I knew that anyone who did know the place would recognize the "types." Which they did and reported their affirmations.

You owe me a few drinks. I had business in Jax so when that was finished, I drove over to Bo's at Jax Beach, a lesbian owned bar. I carefully looked over the bulletin board for a potluck wedding announcement. Nothing there. Then, setting my life on the line, I actually interrupted two lesbians playing pool to ask about a potluck wedding. Though I was still on my first drink, they probably thought I was drunk. Those women take their pool very seriously, so I quickly moved to another area of the bar. I gave the bartender the 3rd degree and got nothing. A few more lesbians came in so, like some lush in a pick-up bar, I went over to them to see if they planned on going to the upcoming potluck wedding. The only thing I could figures is that the couple getting "married" must hang out at a different bar. I still bought into your tale.

by Anonymousreply 13105/26/2012

Some of the funniest are the ones which are unintentionally so. two examples:

*whichever thread it was when it got out of the OP's control and he wanted to close it, and somehow he thought if he just wrote "THREAD CLOSED!" the webmaster would ppear and close it for him. of course that didn;t happen, but he just kept repeating "THREAD CLOSED! THREAD CLOSED!" at the end of every post, more and more hysterically. it was REALLY funny. (Does anyone remember what that thread was originally about?)

*Probably my all-time favorite was the thread about opening night of Barbra Streisand's last big tour in 2006 or so. Barbra fans can NOT hide their excitement nor their consummate queeniness, and one of them posted in absolute sincerity this (unintentionally) hilarious queeny fan-fantasy that morning of what it would be like in her dressing room that night before the show:

First, there would be all her close friends, partying with her and family and celebrating and wishing her well...

...and one by one, they'd all leave, until it was just her closest friends and family...

...and then it would just be Jason and James Brolin, giving her their love...

...and then even they would leave, and it would just be Barbara and her maids...

...and then she would order them to go, just a few minutes to showtime, so it would just be her left all by herself...

...and so it would just her, all alone, just gathering her thoughts together and staring at her fabulous self in the mirror, and silently mouthing the words, "Hello, gorgeous!"...

...and then: SHOWTIME!!!

by Anonymousreply 13205/26/2012

Thank you, R132. My God.

by Anonymousreply 13305/27/2012

[quote]Some of the funniest are the ones which are unintentionally so.

Agreed. That's what made both Frosting Dad ("Not Without My Daughter") and Turkey Meatballs ("I'm Not Running a B&B HERE!") so great: the intense, clueless earnestness of the OPs, who truly believe they are in the right and then find the thread rapidly disintegrating right in front of them.

R129, you are awesome. Definitely one of the true kings [queens?] of DL.

by Anonymousreply 13405/27/2012

Btw, all, R30 is still here and I still have a zipped file of some great DL threads!

Enjoy!

by Anonymousreply 13505/27/2012

The shit-bra thread is my personal all time classic thread from DL, and the best out of any of the gay sites I've been on.

by Anonymousreply 13605/27/2012

I remember Helen Lawson falling on hard times and having to sew her own costumes, so she took a sewing class at JoAnn Fabrics. She showed up drunk to one of the classes and got kicked out for cursing and insulting the teacher and other students, who said she had a "nasty attitude."

by Anonymousreply 13705/27/2012

I made the DataLounge Land map, but I killed it when Primetime and the (overpriced even back then) "pay us, bitches!" scheme started. I'll slap it back up sometime for the new bitches (and, no, I'm not an eldergay).

Has anyone mentioned the "Are You There, Matt? It's Me, Ben" thread? That one was a classic.

by Anonymousreply 13805/27/2012

I like the frosting thread...and I wish I had a can of frosting right now.

by Anonymousreply 13905/27/2012

Hi.

by Anonymousreply 14005/27/2012

"At the Movies with Nan Michiganwomyn" from 2005 was my favorite.

In addition to the inimitable womynly rants of the original Nan, it featured a lesbian separatist re-write of [italic]Brokeback Mountain[/italic], re-titled [italic]Gia Valley[/italic].

by Anonymousreply 14105/27/2012

There was a hilarious thread which was titled something "A Quinn-Martin Production."

Lines like "Daddy, what does EPILOGUE mean?"

by Anonymousreply 14205/27/2012

R131, I will gladly buy you as much and as many as it takes to get you to forgive me. Sorry, baby.

by Anonymousreply 14305/28/2012

The Justin Guarini autobiography thread was great!

by Anonymousreply 14405/28/2012

I have heard so much about the turkey meatballs B&B thread,. Surely someone has a link to it or has copied it? Pleeeeeeaaaassseee

by Anonymousreply 14501/16/2013

Claire's Bread Pudding

Once Around the Garden

Lesbian Pot Luck Wedding

Gargoyle Neighbor

Sumerian Farm Wives

Girlfriend Possessed by Demon

New York Tourist

by Anonymousreply 14601/16/2013

Sunday morning bump

by Anonymousreply 14701/20/2013
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