Your favorite Simpsons Quotes
When faced with a food or situation I'm not thrilled about I say "I suppose you could crush some pills into it."
When something great happens..."Everything's coming up Milhouse!"
When my boyfriend says he hates something that I know he likes "You put Shake and Bake in your coffee!"
Not many people understand what the fuck I'm talking about but those that do are instant friends.
Now tell me how pathetic the Simpsons and/or quoting pop culture references are, R1.
|by Anonymous||reply 275||03/11/2015|
I didn't think it was physically possible, but this both sucks and blows.
|by Anonymous||reply 3||04/01/2011|
At something mildly annoying: TINA! BRING ME THE AXE!%0D %0D Favorite non sequitur: This ain't my first rodeo.
|by Anonymous||reply 4||04/01/2011|
"Man versus Nature: The Road to Victory"
|by Anonymous||reply 5||04/01/2011|
Sipowicz does it.... wearing a tie with a short sleeve shirt.
|by Anonymous||reply 6||04/01/2011|
Ms. Hoover after the portrait of Mr. Burns is revealed: He's evil, but he'll die.
I say it about my boss all the time.
Me and my co-workers can now just say "H.E.B.H.D" and we all know what it means.
|by Anonymous||reply 7||04/01/2011|
Whenever I continue a conversation that had been interrupted: So I says to Mabel, I says...
|by Anonymous||reply 8||04/01/2011|
I will probably still be using the phrase "possible homer sexual" in describing new acquaintances via text message when I'm 80 years old
|by Anonymous||reply 9||04/01/2011|
It's a perfectly cromulent word!%0D %0D My cat's breath smells like cat food.%0D %0D Mmm...floor pie.
|by Anonymous||reply 10||04/01/2011|
Pay no attention to that clod, Patty. you could turn the world on with your smile.%0D %0D I'm sweaty... let's drive through the carwash.%0D %0D There goes the last remaining threads of my heterosexuality.%0D %0D Don't tell me, let me guess... it just got fatter in here.%0D %0D Think unsexy thoughts... think unsexy thoughts!!%0D %0D
|by Anonymous||reply 11||04/01/2011|
Katie Couric didn't just "become" the world's most famous dwarf--she escaped from the circus and she went for it!
|by Anonymous||reply 12||04/01/2011|
Watch what happens when I absorb this blue liquid!
|by Anonymous||reply 13||04/01/2011|
Katie Couric didn't just BECOME the world's most famous dwarf... she escaped from the circus, and she WENT for it!
|by Anonymous||reply 14||04/01/2011|
You can start with the corns. Then you can move on to bunion country.
|by Anonymous||reply 15||04/01/2011|
Some days we don't let the line move at all. We call those weekdays.
|by Anonymous||reply 16||04/01/2011|
Homercles cares not for beans!%0D %0D I wash myself with a rag on a stick.%0D %0D
|by Anonymous||reply 17||04/01/2011|
Marge, I'm an American: I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals FLAMING.
|by Anonymous||reply 18||04/01/2011|
We have Mr. Pibb, Clamato, and soy milk.
|by Anonymous||reply 19||04/01/2011|
If you want to be pawed by something fat and lazy we could just get a cat.
|by Anonymous||reply 20||04/01/2011|
I like my beer cold... my TV loud... and my homosexuals flaming!%0D %0D
|by Anonymous||reply 21||04/01/2011|
And I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords ...
|by Anonymous||reply 23||04/01/2011|
Whatever it does, it's doing it now (referring to the giant immobile Olmec head given to the family by Mr Burns)
|by Anonymous||reply 24||04/01/2011|
You don't win friends with sal-ad! You don't win friends with sal-ad!
|by Anonymous||reply 25||04/01/2011|
Friends? Ha! These are my only friends: grown-up nerds like Gore Vidal - and even he's kissed more boys than I ever will
|by Anonymous||reply 26||04/01/2011|
Instead of chewing gum, chew bacon. Instead of using bread, use Pop Tarts. You could brush your teeth with milkshakes!
|by Anonymous||reply 27||04/01/2011|
Works on contingency? No, money down!
|by Anonymous||reply 28||04/01/2011|
I'm on it like Oprah on a baked ham!
|by Anonymous||reply 29||04/01/2011|
Welcome to loserville. Population - YOU!
|by Anonymous||reply 30||04/01/2011|
The internet? Is that thing still around?
|by Anonymous||reply 31||04/01/2011|
Here's to alcohol, source of and answer to all life's problems.
|by Anonymous||reply 34||04/01/2011|
From a rather recent episode:
Krusty: Homer, you're the easiest laugher I know
Homer: How easy am I?
Krusty: Shut up!
(It's the "shut up" deliver that makes me laugh).
Also from the same episode:
I give art like you give milk
|by Anonymous||reply 35||04/01/2011|
I make Marge's "hmmm" sound whenever my boyfriend says something mildly stupid.
|by Anonymous||reply 36||04/01/2011|
We'll all live like kings. Damn hell ass kings.%0D %0D It tastes like...burning.
|by Anonymous||reply 37||04/01/2011|
Call me mint jelly, 'cause I'm on the lam!
Get Mama's pryin' board.
When Bart was your age, he was smart as a monkey. Now he's dumb as a chimp.
|by Anonymous||reply 38||04/01/2011|
Rev. Lovejoy: No Homer, God didn't burn your house down, but he was working in the hearts of your friends, be they Christian, Jew, or... "miscellaneous".
Apu: Hindu! There are seven hundred million of us, you know.
|by Anonymous||reply 39||04/01/2011|
"Nourish my inner child!!!" [Threateningly]: "Nourishhhhh...."
"Careful! That sponge has corners!"
|by Anonymous||reply 40||04/01/2011|
Another vote for "My cat's breath smells like cat food."
|by Anonymous||reply 41||04/01/2011|
"I find your ideas intriguing and would like to subscribe to your newsletter"
|by Anonymous||reply 42||04/01/2011|
Girls, R26. Boys kiss girls.%0D
|by Anonymous||reply 43||04/01/2011|
Animatronic Pizza Parlor Characters:
You're the birthday, you're the birthday, you're the birthday boy or girl!
|by Anonymous||reply 44||04/01/2011|
"The children are right to laugh at you, Ralph. Those scissors wouldn't cut butter."
"Not [italic]Aztec[/italic], Maggie. [italic]Olmec.[/italic]"
"Math is hard!"
"I, for one, welcome our new [blank] overlords."
|by Anonymous||reply 45||04/01/2011|
Hi, Lisa! We're going to be in a pie!
|by Anonymous||reply 46||04/01/2011|
"Let's bake cookies for the boys!"
"Ohhhh-kay..." As used by Ned when he pushes the mattress out the upstairs window to toss Homer onto during the housefire, and Homer bounces off it back into the burning house. I always say it when I think something is going to be fairly uncomplicated, and then realize it's going to be a lot more involved and time-consuming than I planned.
|by Anonymous||reply 47||04/01/2011|
After all the school children have crash-landed on a deserted island, the two creepy, twin girls are starving, "We're so hungry we could eat at Arby's".
|by Anonymous||reply 48||04/01/2011|
And I wish you didn't have the Devil's curly hair.
|by Anonymous||reply 49||04/01/2011|
"First you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women."
"You still owe me ten Iroqious twists!"
"Surly only looks out for one guy...Surly."
"I'm queen of the world! ...of spelling."
And, of course:
|by Anonymous||reply 50||04/01/2011|
This sounds suspiciously like rock and/or roll.
|by Anonymous||reply 51||04/01/2011|
[quote]Welcome to loserville. Population - YOU!
Not quite. The actual quote is:
"Dear Edna, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: YOU. p.s. I am gay."
|by Anonymous||reply 52||04/01/2011|
R43 beat me to it. :-)
"The goggles! They do nothing!".
"In theory, communism works. In theory."
|by Anonymous||reply 53||04/01/2011|
Me fail English? That's unpossible!
|by Anonymous||reply 54||04/01/2011|
"THREE pairs of shoes? SOMEONE had a fetish."
|by Anonymous||reply 55||04/01/2011|
Ow! My eye! I'm not supposed to get pudding in it!
|by Anonymous||reply 56||04/01/2011|
Your not exactly open casket material yourself...
|by Anonymous||reply 57||04/01/2011|
Mr Burns, there's an eight year old boy on your lawn.%0D %0D Release the hounds...
|by Anonymous||reply 58||04/01/2011|
Here we go boy meets beast!
|by Anonymous||reply 59||04/01/2011|
Oh, y'all - I never said any of those silly things!
|by Anonymous||reply 60||04/01/2011|
"There's doings a-transpiring!"
"But I love solids!"
|by Anonymous||reply 61||04/01/2011|
Homer discovers somebody's stolen their xmas tree and presents. "Lisa, where's Christmas?"
"I sorry. My English is how you say? Inelegant."
Selma and Patty flip through magazines for new hairstyles. Selma or Patty: "No. No. No. Butch."
|by Anonymous||reply 62||04/01/2011|
But I just swept the circle of death!
|by Anonymous||reply 63||04/01/2011|
"Mistah Spahkahru! Foh your happy washuuuuuuuuuuuuu!"
|by Anonymous||reply 64||04/01/2011|
Where my brother died, I will live, in his apartment!
|by Anonymous||reply 65||04/01/2011|
... and that sends me into a shame spiral.
|by Anonymous||reply 66||04/01/2011|
Homer: Marge, I'd like to be alone with the sandwich for a moment.%0D %0D Marge: Are you going to eat it?%0D %0D Homer: [pause] Yes.%0D
|by Anonymous||reply 67||04/01/2011|
Homer: [to Skinner] Whaddaya mean, you lost him? He might have fallen into one of these machines! [turns]%0D Oh, my God: that's his lucky red hat. He's a box! My boy's a box! Damn you, a box!%0D
|by Anonymous||reply 68||04/01/2011|
I shall banish you to the land of wind and ghosts.
|by Anonymous||reply 69||04/01/2011|
Marge's mother on make-up tips:
Ladies pinch--WHORES use rouge!
|by Anonymous||reply 70||04/01/2011|
There you have it, real, unrehearsed testimonials from important celebrities. She's great, isn't she? I loved her in the thing I saw her in.
|by Anonymous||reply 71||04/01/2011|
Stickin' together is what good waffles do.
|by Anonymous||reply 72||04/01/2011|
Public transportation is for jerks and lesbians.
|by Anonymous||reply 73||04/01/2011|
Paddlin' the school canoe? You better believe that's a paddlin'.
|by Anonymous||reply 74||04/01/2011|
I don't know what you have in mind for tonight Homer, but you can count me out!
|by Anonymous||reply 75||04/01/2011|
Nibbles! Chew thro my ball sack.
|by Anonymous||reply 76||04/01/2011|
"Just once I'd like someone call me 'Sir' without following it with 'you're making a scene'."
|by Anonymous||reply 77||04/01/2011|
And I think it's ironic that for once Dad's butt PREVENTED the release of toxic gas...
|by Anonymous||reply 78||04/01/2011|
HOMER: "I'll tell you the secret to Bingo. "(whispers) YOU HAVE TO CHEAT".
|by Anonymous||reply 79||04/01/2011|
Re: Kentucky Fried Panda --
HOMER: Awww, it was finger Ling Ling good.
|by Anonymous||reply 80||04/01/2011|
WON'T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE CHILDREN?!
|by Anonymous||reply 81||04/01/2011|
"Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand."
"It's funny because it's truuuuuue."
"There's a [italic]New[/italic] Mexico?!?."
"Well, crying isn't gonna bring him back ... unless your tears smell like dog food. So you can either sit there crying and eating can after can of dog food until your tears smell enough like dog food to make your dog come back or you can go out there and find your dog."
|by Anonymous||reply 82||04/01/2011|
As Homer hits a statue with his car
A female deer!
|by Anonymous||reply 83||04/01/2011|
Krusty the Clown: "A coconut bagel? Like poison it tastes!"
|by Anonymous||reply 85||04/01/2011|
Hey, look at me. I'm Blanche DuBois!
|by Anonymous||reply 86||04/01/2011|
I'm not convinced, I've had bad luck with aphrodisiacs.%0D %0D I begged you to look at mine first.. I begged you.%0D %0D Save me from the wee turtles.%0D %0D Once episode featured a fun run with a banner that said "Ruin your knees for charity."
|by Anonymous||reply 87||04/01/2011|
Well, excuse me for having enormous flaws that I refuse to work on!%0D %0D Marge, I never would've lied to you if I knew you were going to find out.%0D %0D Public transportation is for losers and lesbians.
|by Anonymous||reply 88||04/01/2011|
No, gotta read Marges' book. Can't get distracted. Distracted, that's a funny word. Does anyone ever get 'tracted'? I'm gonna call the suicide hotline and ask them.
|by Anonymous||reply 90||04/01/2011|
[quote]There goes the last remaining threads of my heterosexuality.
It's "the last lingering threat of my heterosexuality", actually, and I use it all the time. Also:
Everything's comin' up Milhouse!
He was a zombie?
Join us or die! Can you do any less?
There's your answer, fishbulb.
|by Anonymous||reply 91||04/01/2011|
Hey, look at me, I'm Hitler!
|by Anonymous||reply 92||04/01/2011|
Wait a minute. Four hundred a month for loafer lightener? You get the same results with a mincing gel.
|by Anonymous||reply 93||04/01/2011|
The air conditioner isn't working...
LISA: Bart, you can't just lay around in your underwear.
BART: Hey, this ain't the Ritz.
|by Anonymous||reply 94||04/01/2011|
[quote]"Well, crying isn't gonna bring him back ... unless your tears smell like dog food. So you can either sit there crying and eating can after can of dog food until your tears smell enough like dog food to make your dog come back or you can go out there and find your dog."
R82, you left out the rest of the scene!
After Bart decides to go find his dog, Homer turns to Marge and says, disappointed, "I almost got him to eat dog food!"
|by Anonymous||reply 95||04/01/2011|
Look Marge, you don't know what it's like. I'm the one out there every day putting his ass on the line. And I'm not out of order! You're out of order! The whole freaking system is out of order! You want the truth? You want the truth?! You can't handle the truth! 'Cause when you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face, you'll know what to do! Forget it, Marge, it's Chinatown!!
|by Anonymous||reply 97||04/01/2011|
Stranger to Homer at Moe's, out of the blue: "Friend, how would you like to be higher than you've ever been high before in your life?"%0D %0D Homer: "Be an astronaut??? SURE!!!"%0D
|by Anonymous||reply 98||04/01/2011|
When I was seventeen it was a very good beer%0D %0D I hate every ape I see from chimpan-a to chimpanzee
|by Anonymous||reply 99||04/01/2011|
Marge to Lisa:
"It doesn't matter how you feel inside, you know. It's what shows up on the surface that counts. Take all your bad feelings and push them down, all the way down, past your knees, until you're almost walking on them. And then you'll fit in, and you'll be invited to parties, and boys will like you . . . and happiness will follow."
|by Anonymous||reply 100||04/01/2011|
Moe reading Maggie a bedtime story:
"Finally, they kiss his hands and Scarface becomes the Godfather. Then he closes the door... (crying).. on Annie Hall".
|by Anonymous||reply 101||04/01/2011|
Most are Ralph Wiggums lines although I am fond of saying "purple monkey dishwasher!" It's from the teachers strike episode when the crowd starts whispering something about Skinner and they pass it on to another person, like playing telephone. Eventually, someone yells "Skinner said the teachers will crack any minute purple monkey dishwasher!
Others: My cat's breath smells like cat food.
It says 'you choo-choose me.' And it's got a picture of a train.
It tastes like burning!
That's where I see the leprechaun. he tells me to burn things.
|by Anonymous||reply 102||04/01/2011|
Oh, and how could I forget "Catfishe?" from the shoplifting episode. When the guy is actually saying to Bart "Capiche?"
I use that one constantly.
I can't believe no one has said "aye carumba!"
Or "I didn't do it!"
|by Anonymous||reply 103||04/01/2011|
Why, back when I was your age, I had 43 movies under my belt, and I had to do it without tappa-tappa-tappa. I would've killed for tappa-tappa-tappa!
|by Anonymous||reply 104||04/01/2011|
Fishnet Speedo Jr. %0D %0D "I wish I wish I didn't squish that fish." %0D %0D After rolling in the orange soft drink 'with extra wasabi!' Homer yells 'it burns!' That gets used all the time. %0D %0D Another vote for 'in theory Marge, Communism works. In THEORY.' %0D %0D Also: Lisa tells Homer that bacon, ham, and pork all come from the same animal. Homer: "Yes, Lisa, what maaaaagical animal?' %0D %0D
|by Anonymous||reply 106||04/02/2011|
ahahahaha R107! We quote that one all the time. "Pinchy would have wanted it this way ..."
|by Anonymous||reply 108||04/02/2011|
Marge, it takes two to lie, one to lie and one to listen.
|by Anonymous||reply 110||04/02/2011|
When Bart complains that Homer doesn't come to his little league games: "I told you...I find them boring..."
|by Anonymous||reply 111||04/02/2011|
In the Halloween episode 'the Shinning': Mr Burns, when the Simpsons arrive at the hotel, get out of the car and say hello: "Oh, look - the sea monkeys I ordered have arrived." %0D %0D Later in the same Halloween episode, the elevator doors open and blood pours out. Mr Burns: "That's odd. Usually the blood gets off at the second floor." %0D %0D Strangely quotable in a lot of situations.
|by Anonymous||reply 112||04/02/2011|
What YOU don't know would fill a WAREHOUSE, man.
|by Anonymous||reply 113||04/02/2011|
Burns: Smithers, why are they booing at me?
Smithers: Uh, they're not booing. They're saying, 'Boo-urns! Boo-urns!'
Burns: Are you people booing, or are you saying 'Boo-urns'?
(Angry crowd boos loudly, throws things)
Hans Moleman: I was saying 'Boo-urns.'
|by Anonymous||reply 114||04/02/2011|
Reverse vampires!%0D %0D TV: It's 11 o'clock. Do you know where your children are?%0D %0D Homer: I told you last night, no!
|by Anonymous||reply 116||04/02/2011|
Homer trying to intercept a letter at the post office that he he wrote to Mr. Burns:
Homer: Hi, I'm Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me.
Man: OK, Mr. Burns. What's your first name?
Homer: I don't know.
_________ Homer kidnaps the kids he was sitting for and drives off with them. Arnie in the Sky is covering the story.
Kent: Arnie, how are the kids?
Arnie: I can't see through metal, Kent!
|by Anonymous||reply 117||04/02/2011|
Mr. Burns at answering medical questions:
Dr: Reason for parents death?
Mr. Burns: They got in my way.
|by Anonymous||reply 118||04/02/2011|
"Two, four, six, eight
Homer's crime was really great!
Great meaning large or immense
We use it in the pejorative sense!
|by Anonymous||reply 119||04/02/2011|
You can't go to regular cuts, noooooo, you have to go to "Supercuts"
|by Anonymous||reply 120||04/02/2011|
Little Vicki: We all do crazy things when we're desperate. I once destroyed Buddy Ebsen's credit rating.%0D %0D Lisa: Why?%0D %0D Little Vicki: HE knows why.
|by Anonymous||reply 121||04/02/2011|
Que malo. Once again I must sugar my own churro.
|by Anonymous||reply 122||04/02/2011|
Or what? You'll release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark they shoot bees at you?
|by Anonymous||reply 123||04/02/2011|
Ralph: Hi Super Nintendo Chalmers!
|by Anonymous||reply 124||04/02/2011|
(I LOVE the Little Vicki lines!)
|by Anonymous||reply 125||04/02/2011|
"Is there no place for the man with the 105 IQ?"
|by Anonymous||reply 128||04/02/2011|
Homer when he is told he has an anger issues: %0D %0D "Oh no, I'm a rageaholic! I'm addicted to rageahol!!"
|by Anonymous||reply 129||04/02/2011|
The family watch on TV some trashy real-life crime story. Homer: 'But Marge, he must be guilty - listen to the music.'
Flanders: 'Hand me the Crayola and color me tickled pink!'
Marge: 'When your uncle got out of the Navy he would curse a blue streak. It almost cost him his job as a baby photographer.'
The family visits an old people's home full of essential devices for the very infirm. Homer: 'Marge, when my time comes, please don't keep me away from a place like this.'
General: 'Homer, you remind me of the son I never had.' Homer: 'And you remind me of the father I never visit.'
|by Anonymous||reply 130||04/02/2011|
The names of stores are the best. My favorite was the gun store named: Blood, Bath and Beyond
|by Anonymous||reply 131||04/02/2011|
Yes, R132! I liked the upscale grocery store named "Eatie Gourmet's" and the girls' hairdresser, "Snippi Longstockings."
|by Anonymous||reply 132||04/02/2011|
I have a ball. Perhaps you'd like to bounce it.
|by Anonymous||reply 134||04/02/2011|
"Not a hymn to war like our national anthem, but a sweet soothing hymn like the national anthem of Canada"
Bart: "It%E2%80%99s all Christianity people! The little stupid differences are nothing next to the big stupid similarities!"
Ned: "That%E2%80%99s right! Can%E2%80%99t we all just get together and focus on our real enemies: monogamous gays and stem cells%E2%80%A6"
|by Anonymous||reply 135||04/02/2011|
LoL at Boo-Urns. I say that one every time I see bad theater.
|by Anonymous||reply 136||04/02/2011|
Orphan Girl: Three is not enough.
|by Anonymous||reply 137||04/02/2011|
Bart: Ice cream at church? I'm intrigued, yet suspicious!
Lisa: Wow. Look at all these flavours. Blessed Virgin Berry, Commandment, Bible Gum...
Rev. Lovejoy: Or, if you'd prefer, we also have Unitarian icecream.
Lisa: There's nothing here!
Rev. Lovejoy: Exactly.
|by Anonymous||reply 138||04/02/2011|
"Nicole! Get your ass in HERE!"
|by Anonymous||reply 139||04/02/2011|
Chief Wiggum: You can have these fireworks I've confiscated. Some Chinese people claimed they were celebrating New Years in February.
|by Anonymous||reply 140||04/02/2011|
"I call the big one Bitey."
|by Anonymous||reply 141||04/02/2011|
Help! She touching my special area!
|by Anonymous||reply 142||04/02/2011|
What's going on? And I want the non-gay explanation!
|by Anonymous||reply 143||04/02/2011|
Mmmm....pie pants.%0D %0D Homer, you have a lot of tension in your back fat. %0D %0D The rod up his butt has a rod up it's butt!%0D %0D More testicles means more iron! %0D %0D %0D %0D %0D
|by Anonymous||reply 144||04/02/2011|
I'm not going to read through this thread, but I'm definitely going to contribute:
1. Homer: Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand
2. Bill Gates: You don't think I got rich by writing a bunch of checks, do you?
3. Homer: Mmmmm, sacrilicious.
4. Security System Salesman: Sir, surely you can't put a price on your family's safety.
Homer: I wouldn't have thought so either, yet here we are....
5. Sideshow Bob: Your guilty consciences may force you to vote Democratic, but secretly you yearn for a cold-hearted Republican who%E2%80%99ll cut taxes, brutalize criminals, and rule you like a king!
|by Anonymous||reply 145||04/02/2011|
R48 -- my favorite part of the Arby's quote is how afterward all the kids murmur in agreement.
|by Anonymous||reply 147||04/02/2011|
Bart "We are poor yellow trash". I am biracial and use this line all the time. My dad actually went to high school with Matt Groening (Lincoln High in Portland). He absolutely adored him, as everyone else that has met him does, from what I gather. He is very gay friendly, and has contributed a lot of money to liberal issues/politicians.
|by Anonymous||reply 148||04/02/2011|
I third R48's and R147's love for the Arby's quote... My sister and I use that all the time whenever we're deciding on places to eat.
|by Anonymous||reply 149||04/02/2011|
I think about the Arby's quote every time I see one.
|by Anonymous||reply 150||04/02/2011|
James Woods (to Apu): Is it true you once worked 96 hours straight?%0D %0D Apu: Oh yes, it was horrible. By the end I thought I was some sort of hummingbird.
|by Anonymous||reply 151||04/02/2011|
Now, where are my chili boots?%0D
|by Anonymous||reply 152||04/02/2011|
Fat Tony: I don't get mad. I get stabby.
Gay steelworker: Oh, be nice!
Krusty: Let's just say it moved me TO BIGGER HOUSE! Oh, I said the loud part soft and soft part loud.
Japanese worker at Mr. Sparkle factory: You have many question Mr. Sparkle. We send you premium number one answer question video!
|by Anonymous||reply 153||04/02/2011|
I was away at Bible Camp, learning to be more judgmental.
|by Anonymous||reply 154||04/02/2011|
something about the Doctor telling Homer he needed lifesaving heart surgery; Homer, of course, refuses. His reason?
Homer: "Doctor, no. That what doesn't kill me makes me stronger."
|by Anonymous||reply 155||04/02/2011|
The lead-in to the soap opera:%0D %0D "Like the cleaning of a house: IT NEVER ENDS."
|by Anonymous||reply 156||04/02/2011|
No one who speaks German could be an evil man.
|by Anonymous||reply 157||04/02/2011|
She admitted it! Lisa's going to marry a carrot!
|by Anonymous||reply 158||04/02/2011|
When faced with something extremely distasteful, I always make that shudder noise that Sideshow Bob made when he saw Selma's hairy legs in bed.
|by Anonymous||reply 159||04/03/2011|
"Old fashion hole'diggin, by god it's been a while!"--Old guy with long beard
"Super Nintendo Chalmers"-you know who
"Even my boogers are spicy"-you know who
|by Anonymous||reply 160||04/03/2011|
Homer gets Lenny to choose an ostrich for his ostrich burger, and says he will punch it to death. He approaches the ostrich pen. The ostrich chokes Homer and kick him three times in the stomach, very quickly.
Homer, in pain: Dude, I thought we were friends!
|by Anonymous||reply 161||04/03/2011|
See my vest! See my vest! Made from real gorilla chest!%0D %0D Like my loafers? Former gophers; it was that or skin my chauffeurs!%0D %0D -- Monty B.
|by Anonymous||reply 162||04/03/2011|
HOMER: I've seen plays more interesting than this. Honest to god, PLAYS!
|by Anonymous||reply 163||04/03/2011|
When I grow up I'm going to Bovine university.
|by Anonymous||reply 164||04/03/2011|
FREEMASONS RUN THE COUNTRY!!
|by Anonymous||reply 165||04/03/2011|
MONORAAAAIL! MONORAAAAAIL! MONORAAAAAAIL!
|by Anonymous||reply 166||04/03/2011|
Aw, you beat me to it r146!
|by Anonymous||reply 167||04/03/2011|
I thought of some more:
1. Homer: They don't call me Springfield Fats just because I'm morbidly obese.
2. Bart: My killing teacher says I'm a natural.
3. Homer: The winner will be showered with praise. The loser will be taunted and booed until my throat is sore.
4. Dr. Zweig: Yes, yes, it's all a rich tapestry...
5. Lisa: That'll learn him to bust my tomater.
|by Anonymous||reply 168||04/03/2011|
Back to the loch with you Nessie!
|by Anonymous||reply 169||04/03/2011|
"I feel so full of ... what's the opposite of shame?"
"No, not that far from shame."
|by Anonymous||reply 170||04/03/2011|
Homer's shrieking cracks me up. %0D %0D Homer: *shriek*! Shark Boy! %0D %0D Homer (to Mindy): Ha! I mean, ha-lo!%0D %0D Same with Homer's elaborate shudders of horror. Probably the funniest one was when Selma, trying to pretend that Homer was her husband, awkwardly says that she loves Homer, 'he is ... my whole world. I ... love him.' Cut to Homer, sitting at a diner with Lenny and Carl. He shudders and says 'I just felt a chill go through my very soul.'%0D %0D More:%0D %0D Flanders: Feels like I'm wearing ... nothin' at all! Nothin' at all!%0D %0D So many lines in the Switch-set-to-evil Krusty doll episode are great. "Marge, Marge - the doll's trying to kill me and the toaster's been laughing at me!" "You think your dirty socks can stop me? Well, they are making me kinda dizzy ..." %0D %0D
|by Anonymous||reply 171||04/03/2011|
Sorry doesn't put thumbs back on the hand, Marge.
|by Anonymous||reply 172||04/03/2011|
I come from the land of chocolate...Homer: the land of chocolate....%0D %0D The devil (ned flanders). Contract?! This is always so much easier in Mexico.%0D %0D Homer to Bart:%0D Lisa and I are going out for some gelato. We'd ask you to come, but, you know.
|by Anonymous||reply 173||04/03/2011|
R168, I was trying to remember #3 before but couldn't. Thanks.%0D %0D And also from #4's episode, I like -%0D %0D Marge: Whenever the wind whispers through the leaves I'll remember the name Lowenstein.%0D %0D Dr. Zweig: My name is Zweig%0D %0D Marge: Lowenstein
|by Anonymous||reply 174||04/03/2011|
Homer: Sweet merciful crap!
|by Anonymous||reply 175||04/03/2011|
It's the beating of the hideous heart! I mean, I think I hear something.
|by Anonymous||reply 177||04/03/2011|
Message on a bookstore's sign:
Michener $1.99 a pound
|by Anonymous||reply 178||04/03/2011|
Ground's keeper Willie: It's called... The [italic]shinning[/italic]! Bart: I think you mean the shining. GKW: Shut up lad! Do y'wanna get sued?!
|by Anonymous||reply 179||04/03/2011|
Where's my burrito! Where's my burrito!
|by Anonymous||reply 180||04/03/2011|
I will party like it's on sale for $19.99!!
|by Anonymous||reply 181||04/03/2011|
When the family called 911 one time, the emergency dispatcher had been replaced by the Moviefone voice, asking them to select the corresponding number of the crime being committed. They hit a button, and it said "You've selected Regicide. If you know the name of the king or queen being murdered, press 1 now. "
|by Anonymous||reply 182||04/03/2011|
I'll never eat chili again... Ooooh! Chili!
|by Anonymous||reply 183||04/03/2011|
"I see they have the internet on computers now."
|by Anonymous||reply 184||04/03/2011|
We've run out of secret sauce. Here, put this mayonnaise out in the sun.
|by Anonymous||reply 185||04/03/2011|
"That's not the way she tells it!"
"Oooooo! Five cents off wax paper!"
"Back in Nineteen Dickety Two"
|by Anonymous||reply 186||04/03/2011|
I forgot my all-time favorite one:
Homer to Lisa "I'm giving you my undivided attention"
|by Anonymous||reply 187||04/03/2011|
I wore an onion on my belt, as was the style at the time...
|by Anonymous||reply 188||04/03/2011|
The fingers you have used to dial are too fat. To obtain a special dialing wand, please mash the keypad with your palm now.
Hey, did you go to Hollywood Upstairs Medical College too?
|by Anonymous||reply 189||04/03/2011|
My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is NOT a porn star!
|by Anonymous||reply 190||04/03/2011|
Now go get me my dry-cleaning, which is my code word for scotch. And get me a scotch, which is my code word for my bookie. Also, go get my dry-cleaning.
|by Anonymous||reply 191||04/03/2011|
For day to day use I say, "I'm ON my way!!"
For just plain funny--Homer, mediating an argument between Lisa and Adil, their Communist exchange student: "Maybe Lisa has a point about America being the land of opportunity and maybe Adil has a point about the machine of capitalism being oiled by the blood of the workers."
For Arby's quote (what do their writers have against Arby's??!), in a Halloween ep, Homer eats a space blob because it was the only thing available to eat and then it tries to squirm out through his nostrils, "Oh no, if I can keep Arby's down, I can keep you down!"
|by Anonymous||reply 192||04/03/2011|
Marge is teaching Lisa to sew and shows her the heirloom quilt she and her family have had for generations. The squares represent various events, various times periods, etc. One of the squares has R. Crumb's "keep on truckin'" image on it:%0D %0D Lisa: "Keep on truckin'." What does that mean?%0D %0D Marge: I didn't know then and I don't know now.
|by Anonymous||reply 194||04/04/2011|
"Ray BOLGER is looking out for Ray BOLGER!"
|by Anonymous||reply 195||04/04/2011|
"I call the big one bitey."
|by Anonymous||reply 196||04/04/2011|
"A beer is a lot like a woman. They smell good, they look good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one."
Did Fox REALLY show one of the best episodes of The Simpsons during prime time last night? I wasn't sure if it was just in my location, but the episode that aired before "Bob's Burgers" was the one where Marge and Homer are telling the story of Lisa's birth/first word. I assumed that the episode was shown because Elizabeth Taylor played the voice of Maggie, but I wasn't quite sure.
It was surreal to finally see a good episode of The Simpsons on a Sunday night--something that hasn't happened in a decade.
|by Anonymous||reply 197||04/04/2011|
Pinchy would've wanted it that way!
|by Anonymous||reply 198||04/04/2011|
Oh, crap! I forgot about one of my favorites of all time (I even use it on a regular basis):
Homer: Marge...come to bed, Marge. It's good for what ails ya!
|by Anonymous||reply 199||04/04/2011|
Bob Dole doesn't need this.
|by Anonymous||reply 200||04/04/2011|
"Come back, zinc, come baaack!"
"Samantha, ne pas des boys."
"You love Shake and Bake--you used to put it in your coffee."
-"Lisa, what's the opposite of that schadenfreude thing-y?" -"Sour grapes." -"Wow, those Germans have a word for everything."
|by Anonymous||reply 201||04/04/2011|
Marge, you're not the world's worst mother. What about that freezer lady in Georgia?
Women and seamen don't mix.
Marge, there are only so many times I can say "I'm sorry," and still mean it.
Five John Denver Christmas specials.
But Marge, you gotta understand. I never thought you'd find out!
I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman.
Lord, bless this house and all who dwell within this rocket house.
|by Anonymous||reply 202||04/04/2011|
Lisa: There's no way I'll get into an Ivy League school now. At this rate I probably won't even get into Vassar.
Homer: I've had just about enough of your Vassar-bashing, young lady!
|by Anonymous||reply 203||04/04/2011|
[quote] Did Fox REALLY show one of the best episodes of The Simpsons during prime time last night? I wasn't sure if it was just in my location, but the episode that aired before "Bob's Burgers" was the one where Marge and Homer are telling the story of Lisa's birth/first word. I assumed that the episode was shown because Elizabeth Taylor played the voice of Maggie, but I wasn't quite sure.
Yea..they showed it everywhere.
|by Anonymous||reply 204||04/04/2011|
Homer is fondly recalling early married life: 'Even with a job, a young family and a new-born, I still managed to fit in six hours of TV a night.'
|by Anonymous||reply 205||04/05/2011|
Nelson (refusing to throw a balloon filled with paint on Ms. Krababble's wedding dress): But it's a Vera Wang *sob*
Other great Simpsons quotes at link.
|by Anonymous||reply 206||04/05/2011|
I had forgotten how many great Grandpa one-liners there are:
Homer: You better start making sense or we'll put you in a home!
Grandpa: You already put me in a home!
Homer: Then we'll put you in one of those crocked homes we saw on 60 Minutes!
Grandpa (meekly): I'll be good.
Also from the mind of Homer: "Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is: never try."
|by Anonymous||reply 207||04/05/2011|
It'll be a cold day in hell before I recognize Missourah!
|by Anonymous||reply 209||04/05/2011|
I use this one when talking about people I don't like. "You have an interesting friend. Let us hope something runs over her." or a variation like "maybe she'll be hit by a bus." from the Jacques/Marge bowling episode.
Can't think of any others that haven't already been said.
"As intelligence goes up, happiness goes down. See, I made a graph.. I make lots of graphs."
|by Anonymous||reply 210||04/05/2011|
Two montages come to mind:
"Dental plan...Lisa needs braces...dental plan...Lisa needs braces..."
"Mwhahahaha (demented clown laughs)...Iron helps us play...Hello, Joe!...Mwhahahaha...Iron helps us play...Hello, Joe!"
|by Anonymous||reply 211||04/05/2011|
I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.
|by Anonymous||reply 212||04/05/2011|
Can't sleep. Clown'll eat me. Can't sleep. Clown'll eat me.
|by Anonymous||reply 213||04/05/2011|
Marge: What's brunch? Jacques: You'd love it. It's not quite breakfast, it's not quite lunch, but it comes with a slice of cantaloupe at the end.
|by Anonymous||reply 214||04/06/2011|
When I drop my glasses, I cry out "My image!" a la Elvis Costello.
|by Anonymous||reply 215||04/06/2011|
Lol R213, I remember when someone here posted a story about his boyfriend having a hideous clown doll in their bathroom. Someone posted: 'can't shit. Clown will eat me' and I died laughing.
|by Anonymous||reply 216||04/06/2011|
"Marge, I ate all of those fancy soaps you bought for the bathroom"--Homer
Homer: Everytime I learn something it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember that home wine-making course I took and I forgot how to drive?
Marge: That's because you were drunk!
Homer: And how!
"Well, you can't go wrong with COCKTAIL WEENIES! They taste as good as they look and they come in this delicious red sauce: it looks like ketchup, it tastes like ketchup, but brother, IT AINT KETCHUP!"--Homer
"I didn't think it was physically possible but this both sucks and blows."--Bart
|by Anonymous||reply 217||04/14/2011|
"Stealing! Haven't you heard those sermons from that guy at church? Captain whats-his-name? We live in a society of laws. Why do you think I took you to all of those 'Police Academy' movies? For fun? Well, I didn't hear anyone laughing! Did you? Except for that guy who makes all of sound effects...brrrr...whoom whoom...hah hah hee hee...Oh, where was I? Oh yeah, stay out of my booze!"--Homer, yelling at Bart when he was caught at a store stealing.
"I figured out the boy's punishment. First, he is grounded. No leaving the house, not even for school. Second, no egg-nog, make that no nog period. And Third, absolutely no stealing for three months"...--Homer, later on
|by Anonymous||reply 218||04/14/2011|
"Aw, cram it, churchy." - Kirk Van Houten
Smithers: I'm afraid we have a bad image, sir. Market research shows people see you as something of ogre.
Mr. Burns: I ought to club them and eat their bones!
|by Anonymous||reply 219||04/14/2011|
Homer: Marge for the first time, I can look down my nose at you. You have a gambling problem.
Marge: I do. Do you forgive me?
Homer: Oh sure, remember when I got caught stealing those watches from Sears? Well, you have a gambling problem! And remember when I let that escaped lunatic into the house because he was dressed like Santa Claus? Well, YOU HAVE A GAMBLING PROBLEM!
Marge: Homer, when you forgive someone you don't throw it back at them.
Homer: Oh, what a gyp. Hey, remember when...?
Homer: Oh, I forgot already.
|by Anonymous||reply 220||04/14/2011|
Some Ralph Wiggum guotes:
This is my sandbox, I am not allowed to go into the deep end.
That's where I saw the leprechaun. He told me to burn things.
Fighting makes it tighter.
When the doctor said I did not have worms anymore, that was the best day of my life.
I bent my wookie.
Wanna play stuffed animal parade?
|by Anonymous||reply 221||04/14/2011|
Bart: Your half-assed over-parenting is worse than your half-assed under-parenting.
Homer: But I was using my whole ass.
"Don't go on strike. Just go to work everyday and do everything half-assed. That's the American way!"--Homer
|by Anonymous||reply 222||04/14/2011|
Mr. Burns: Smithers, there is a rocket in my pocket.
Smithers: You don't have to tell me, sir..
"Marge, you being a cop means you are the man and I am the woman, and I have no interest in that, except for the underwear thing, which, as we discussed, is a strictly a comfort thing"--Homer
"Now, on Afternoon Yack: My son still wets the bed..
Then, Milhouse is being dragged on stage by his mom and he says "You told me we were going to Red Lobster!"
|by Anonymous||reply 223||04/14/2011|
"DENTAL plan!"%0D %0D "Lisa need braces!"%0D %0D "DENTAL plan!"%0D %0D "Lisa needs braces!"%0D %0D "DENTAL plan!"%0D %0D "Lisa needs braces!"%0D %0D
|by Anonymous||reply 224||04/15/2011|
This is the worse day of your life... SO FAR.
|by Anonymous||reply 225||04/16/2011|
To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all of life's problems.
|by Anonymous||reply 226||04/16/2011|
Another store name: Try and Save
|by Anonymous||reply 227||04/16/2011|
But why'd I have the bowl, Bart ... WHY'D I have the BOWL?
|by Anonymous||reply 228||04/16/2011|
r208 ... that's EVAH, dear.
|by Anonymous||reply 229||04/16/2011|
Not when Comic Book Guys says it, R229.
Favorite CBG quote, from the Halloween episode where he gets hit with a nuclear bomb. Right before it hits - "I have wasted my life".
As a fanboy, I can relate.
|by Anonymous||reply 230||04/16/2011|
Groundkeeper Willie: "Brothers and sisters are natural enemies. Like Englishmen and Scots! Or Welshmen and Scots! Or Japanese and Scots! Or Scots and other Scots! Damn Scots! They ruined Scotland!"
|by Anonymous||reply 231||04/16/2011|
Too many to remember, but this one came up recently:
"It started out as a Halloween costume, but it found its way into my regular rotation."
|by Anonymous||reply 232||04/16/2011|
Ralph Wiggim gets splattered by red paint and says "I look like cable TV!".
|by Anonymous||reply 233||04/16/2011|
"Lunch Lady Doris, have we got any grease?"
"Yes, yes we do."
"Then grease me up woman!"
|by Anonymous||reply 234||04/16/2011|
r169, my brother and I use "Back to the loch with you, Nessie" when any of our favorite sports teams play an especially lousy game. It's often abbreviated in text message form to just "Loch. Nessie." Other oft-repeated lines:
Ralph Wiggum: "Mr. Simpson, these tar fumes are making me dizzy." Homer: "Yeah, they'll do that." (lazily swigs beer)
Homer: "Two more feet and I can fit it in the fridge!"
Zombie Shakespeare: "Is this the end of Zombie Shakespeare?"
Homer (in a drunk love letter to Marge): "Five dollars? Get outta here."
Homer: "Probably misses his old glasses."
Krusty (during "The Big Ear Family" skit on "Tuesday Night Live" that's bombing from the onset): "Ugh. This goes on for 12 more minutes."
Homer (after Bart yells, "Go eat some flowers!"): "Oh no -- my secret shame!"
|by Anonymous||reply 235||04/16/2011|
Apu: I am selling only the concept of karmic realignment.
Homer: You can't sell that! Karma can only be portioned out by the cosmos. [slams door]
Apu: He's got me there.
|by Anonymous||reply 236||04/16/2011|
Homer: Yeah, and if you get kicked out of that one you%E2%80%99re going straight in the army where you%E2%80%99ll be sent straight to America%E2%80%99s latest military quagmire. Where will it be? North Korea? Iran? Anything%E2%80%99s possible with Commander Cuckoo-Bananas in charge.
|by Anonymous||reply 237||04/16/2011|
Please do not feed my god a peanut.
|by Anonymous||reply 238||04/16/2011|
Marge had a magazine once: "Better Homes Than Yours"
|by Anonymous||reply 239||04/17/2011|
"That is some jacket, Skoie. It makes you look like a homosexual."
"Maybe you all are homosexuals!"
|by Anonymous||reply 240||04/20/2011|
Favorite Abe Simpson quotes:
Abe: All right, I admit it: I am the Lindbergh baby. Waah! Waah! Goo goo. I miss my fly-fly dada.
Friday: Are you trying to stall us, or are you just senile?
Abe: A little from column A, a little from column B.
Abe: Welcome home, Son. I broke two lamps and lost all your mail. [Marge walks away] What's wrong with your wife?
Homer: Never mind, you wouldn't understand.
Abe: Protein deficiency?
Abe: Unsatisfying sex life?
Homer: N -- yes! But please, don't you say that word!
Abe: What, se-e-e-e-ex? What's so unappealing about hearing your elderly father talk about sex? I had se-e-e-e-e-e-e-ex.
"My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star!"
"I'm an elk, a Mason, a communist. I'm the president of the Gay and Lesbian Alliance for some reason...ah, here it is. The Stonecutters."
|by Anonymous||reply 241||04/20/2011|
"You%E2%80%99ll have to speak up, I%E2%80%99m wearing a towel." - Homer
Sara Slone in 'My Best Friend's Gay Baby' (I love the poster)
|by Anonymous||reply 242||04/28/2011|
Olive oil? If your mother wasn't so fancy, we could buy our groceries at a gas station like normal people.
|by Anonymous||reply 243||04/30/2011|
Look at the size of that platform!
|by Anonymous||reply 246||04/30/2011|
Mr. Burns: This isn't rocket science, Smithers. It's brain surgery. Now hand me that ice cream scoop! [Puts Homer's brain on like a hat.] Look at me! I'm Davy Crockett!
|by Anonymous||reply 247||04/30/2011|
After Homer is cast from the Stonecutters:
Marge: %E2%80%9CHomer, you can%E2%80%99t just keep hanging out with these Colobus monkeys. Somebody%E2%80%99s gonna get parasites.%E2%80%9D
It's such a random thing that he's hanging around with the monkeys and the line is delivered perfectly with that typical Marge apprehension. Makes me laugh every time.
|by Anonymous||reply 248||04/30/2011|
I don't want to look like a weirdo! I'll take the muumuu.
|by Anonymous||reply 249||04/30/2011|
"Geriatric Profanity Disorder (or GPD)."
|by Anonymous||reply 250||05/01/2011|
You know who else is gay? Matlock!
|by Anonymous||reply 251||05/01/2011|
Homer: I think the government has better things to do than to read my mail.
(cut to agents reading letters from a bag called 'Simpson Mail')
FBI Agent: Most people write letters to movie stars. This Simpson guy writes to movies. "Dear Die Hard. You rock. Especially when that guy was on the roof. P.S: Do you know Mad Max?"
|by Anonymous||reply 252||05/01/2011|
After Homer gets hit with a baseball,Lisa: Dad has the worst luck when he's drinking.
When Ned has nervous breakdown : Oh,it's Lisa Simpson,Springfield's answer to a question nobody asked.
Mr.Burns to Smithers,as they are leaving the disastrous dinner at the Simpsons that costs him the Governors race: Brought down by a family of slack-jawed troglodytes,and yet,if I were to have them killed,it would be me who'd go to jail.
Homer: Look at it this way Marge,what if we picked the wrong religion,and all this time we're making god madder and madder?
Home at the dinner table: Those celebrity's could've been my ticket outta this stinking hell hole.
|by Anonymous||reply 253||02/28/2013|
TV ANNOUNCER introducing a soap opera: Like the cleaning of a house, IT NEVER ENDS.
SHERRY BOBBINS: I'm a completely ORIGINAL character, like Rickey Rouse or Monald Muck.
|by Anonymous||reply 254||02/28/2013|
Homer: I guess the only thing left is a murder/suicide pact.
Marge: That's a terrible thing to say!
Homer: Oh Marge. It's just an expression.
|by Anonymous||reply 255||02/28/2013|
I often try to incorporate elements of Simpsons quotes in order to see who's listening.
When I'm offered a drink at someone's home, I will often say "Ohh, just whatever you have on hand. How about a Clamato?" When they sheepishly apologize, I ask for Mr Pibb. And then I ask for soymilk.
|by Anonymous||reply 256||02/28/2013|
What're you cackling at, fatty? Too much pie, that's your problem!
Do you know what a baby is saying when she reaches for a bottle? She's saying, 'I am a leech'!
If you despise polite left-handers, then I doubt you'll like Ned Flanders, or his creepy little offspring, Rod and Todd.
AIEEE! Moth! Moth!
|by Anonymous||reply 257||02/28/2013|
The human wang is a beautiful thing.
|by Anonymous||reply 258||02/28/2013|
“You tried your best and failed miserably. The lesson is: never try.”
"Lisa, the point of [italic]Moby-Dick[/italic] is to Be Yourself."
|by Anonymous||reply 259||02/28/2013|
So she was made of chimps!
|by Anonymous||reply 261||02/28/2013|
Some gay quotes:
Karl: My mother told me never to kiss a fool! (Kisses Homer.)
John Waters: It's camp! The tragically ludicrous? The ludicrously tragic?
John Waters: No, Ultrasuede is a miracle. This is just good timing.
Julio: Homer, weren't you supposed to meet your wife half an hour ago?
Homer: D'oh! You guys don't have a gay time machine do you?
Julio: Jes. It's called Grady's shoe closet.
Grady: Hey, Julio? Ouch.
|by Anonymous||reply 263||02/28/2013|
Homer: Hey, what's Lucky joined up to? Nurse: It's a machine that breaths for him. Homer: And here I am using my own lungs like a sucker.
Homer: Don't discourage the boy, weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals...except the weasel.
|by Anonymous||reply 264||02/28/2013|
Wow, I'm pretty sure that I didn't post R177's message back in the day, but I could have as I love those examples!
But the mean German backpackers, Homer and '99 luftballons' is pretty priceless.
|by Anonymous||reply 265||03/01/2013|
Homer to Lisa: You barbeque-wrecking, know-nothing know-it-all!
|by Anonymous||reply 267||03/01/2013|
Marge, it's "Knight Boat"... the [italic]crime[/italic] fighting boat!
|by Anonymous||reply 268||03/01/2013|
How could I charge full price to the man whose lust for filthy magazines kept me in business during that first shaky year? ... Oh, by the way, here is your new issue of [italic]Gigantic Asses.[/italic]
|by Anonymous||reply 269||03/01/2013|
"Call Mr. Plow, that's my name, that name again is Mr. Plow!"
|by Anonymous||reply 270||03/01/2013|
I am familiar with the works of Pablo Neruda.
|by Anonymous||reply 272||03/11/2015|
"... when I'm done, you'll be a regular Burt Reynolds."
|by Anonymous||reply 273||03/11/2015|
That's it, back to Winnipeg!
|by Anonymous||reply 274||03/11/2015|
Hello, I'd like to speak with a Mr. Snotball, first name Eura.
|by Anonymous||reply 275||03/11/2015|