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Name a dirty thing you did to a straight guy you thought was hot

In the laundry room I stole a pair of this hot straight neighbor's undies. I'd wear them when I knew I was going to see him. Dumb fuck had no idea.

--Anonymous
replies 102Dec 3, 2017 9:28 AM +00:00

When I was a teenager, I worked in a place that held weddings, and we had one that was Scottish, so the men were wearing kilts.

Anyway, the groom was really fucking hot but was being made fun of by the other men for wearing underwear (kilts are supposed to be worn commando). So he took his underwear off. They went into the main room for speeches, and he left his underwear on a table in the other room. I decided to collect some glasses at the same time, got to his table and as there was no-one around, I had a quick sniff of his pants.

--Anonymous
replies 1Dec 3, 2017 9:34 AM +00:00

My fave drunk straight guy trick. I have big pecs. Its from working out and genetics, so if I wear a clingy shirt I get comments and looks (usually in bars) Anyways in a bar straight guys always ask or say something, so I tell them that they're implants , end result always being them needing to feel them

--Works everytime! Seriously
replies 2Dec 3, 2017 9:40 AM +00:00

I stole a pair of unwashed anonymous bikini underwear out of the barracks laundry room, sniffed and jacked off in them. I laundered them and returned them to the laundry room.

--That Was Fun. And Dirty.
replies 3Dec 3, 2017 9:41 AM +00:00

This one isn't me, but a friend of mine. For context, he's quite literally the dirtiest person I know, and is into some very freaky shit. I have another one about him too.

So he worked in a garage many years ago and this hot guy used to come in on his way home from the gym. One time he left his bag in the shop. My friend, whom we'll call J, looked through the bag, found a jockstrap, took it with him on his lunch break, masturbated into it and then put it back in the bag. The guy came back the next day to collect the bag... and never came into the shop again.

--Anonymous
replies 4Dec 3, 2017 9:42 AM +00:00

15 was the first time I actually screwed around with a guy, gay or straight. My friend and I were in the basement and I straight up asked him " can I suck your dick....I just want to see how it feels. I'm curious." Bwaha, that sounds hilarious now. He looked kind of shocked when I first asked, but then he kind of apprehensively said yes, and I did suck him until he cummed. I still think that was pretty bold of me to do that.

--Anonymous
replies 5Dec 3, 2017 9:44 AM +00:00

TIWTHU

--Anonymous
replies 6Dec 3, 2017 9:47 AM +00:00

So the other story is this.

J and I were friends with S, a hot straight guy. We used to go out clubbing together. One night we had been out and gone back to a friend's house to smoke weed. S, J and me were sitting on the sofa in that order. S decided to put his feet up over J and me. Which was fine as we all fancied him.

We sat like that for a few minutes. J was sitting there with his eyes closed, while S looked slightly uncomfortable. It felt a lot like he was trying to move his legs away from J. Anyway, S got up to go to the toilet and when he came back, he didn't put his legs where they were.

A couple of days later, I asked S what was wrong. He said that J had a hardon and was rubbing it against his leg!. Later, I asked J whether S putting his legs over him had turned him on, he said why do you say that. I said because you were rubbing your cock against him. He was then embarassed and claimed he didn't realise S could actually feel it.

--Anonymous
replies 7Dec 3, 2017 9:49 AM +00:00

I was a fat kid in high school, one of guys was the captain on the wrestling team was hot as fuck and I jerked off thinking about him all the time. They has a commercial washer and dryer in the locker room were an assistant would wash the uniforms after practice. The assistant was in a car accident and was laid up so I ask if I could fill in. The coach looked at me questionably as I was far from a jock, but he agreed. So I had access to all the soiled jockstraps and wresting singlets. The wrestlers all wrote their name on the jocks and singlets so I knew who was who. Most of them treated me ok a couple would dismiss me but that was to be expected. I was giving keys to the gym and would wash all the jocks and singlets late like 7pm when no was around . I would find my favorite wrestlers soiled jock and singlet and smell it and jack off. It smell like right guard and sweat . It was awesome. Then I would wash everything

A week later the assistant came back to work but the coach asked me to stay on, I was able to steal my favorite wrestlers jock and singlet and replace it with a new one writing his name on both, he had no clue. I still have it packed away somewhere 40 years later

--Elder Pig
replies 8Dec 3, 2017 9:58 AM +00:00

Fucking pigs. But interesting stories.

--Anonymous
replies 9Dec 3, 2017 10:10 AM +00:00

I was the first person to eat his hole out. We were in our late teens,and I had been around the block while he was totally inexperienced. Cute in a nerdy jock sort of way. One thing led to another,and while I was down there lustily sucking his cock,I slid a little lower and started munching that hole. My god,he screamed and writhed like he was on fire,then begged me to stop or he was going to shoot. I kept going and next thing you know Ive got a big pile of sperm in my hair and he was biting his forearm to muffle the screams of ecstacy ! i bet I wasnt the last one to eat that hole.

--Anonymous
replies 10Dec 3, 2017 10:11 AM +00:00

You love it, Mary r9.

--Anonymous
replies 11Dec 3, 2017 10:12 AM +00:00

Say yes to his drunken request to try sex with another man. It was a one-time thing but I'm glad it was with me.

--Anonymous
replies 12Dec 3, 2017 10:17 AM +00:00

Having that come at you?

www.truefreethinker.com
--Anonymous
replies 13Dec 3, 2017 10:40 AM +00:00

When I was in the Army and had CQ duty there would always be some passed out drunk you would have to put to bed. I would always molest them while beating off. Sometimes they would be half conscious which would make it hotter. They knew something was going on but couldn't do anything to stop it. It made it hot knowing I might be their unreachable memory that was fucking their life up. If they were really out cold sometimes I would open their mouth and shoot my load in.

--Anonymous
replies 14Dec 3, 2017 10:43 AM +00:00

Had a picture I sneak took of this straight guy in the shower. Must have shared it on the internet a million times.

--Anonymous
replies 15Dec 3, 2017 10:48 AM +00:00

Jerk off to his cover photo for Rolling Stone.

--Anonymous
replies 16Dec 3, 2017 10:49 AM +00:00

R14 You can expect to be served papers for those antics shortly, DL stories get forwarded around like crazy , what you did was rape

--Anonymous
replies 17Dec 3, 2017 11:03 AM +00:00

Sure Blanche. Find a victim.

--Anonymous
replies 18Dec 3, 2017 11:05 AM +00:00

"Served papers," r17?

Oh, my sides!

--Anonymous
replies 19Dec 3, 2017 11:08 AM +00:00

I’m not proud of this, but after college I roomed with this hot straight guy (he won state in wrestling so you can imagine the body). He was a really nice guy, and here I was, this 21 year old gay guy with no experience and all this pent up sexual energy. He would jerk off every day before work (he told me), and then leave. I would proceed to go in his bathroom and fish out his cum filled Kleenex and suck on them while I jerked off. I look back and shudder a little, but I guess I wasn’t hurting anyone.

--Anonymous
replies 20Dec 3, 2017 11:09 AM +00:00

"Antics"!!!

--Anonymous
replies 21Dec 3, 2017 11:09 AM +00:00

I would sneak into the room of a straight guy who lived in a boarding house and smell his undies. We became friendly and would go to bar together and return to my place drunk, I'm sure he knew I was gay and he flirted a bit but I never took the bait, too scared. He would leave things in my place and I would wait until I heard him leave his shower and go knock on his door to return it hoping he would answer naked. He answered wearing a towel or his undies. Amazing body handsome as fuck but no bulge ( maybe he was a grower). I still wonder what would have happened if I tried something with him...I might have gotten a black eye or a mouthful of cum.

--Anonymous
replies 22Dec 3, 2017 11:32 AM +00:00

I've shared naked pics of a few straight guys I knew. Turn me on knowing their cocks and asses are out there and getting circulated.

--Anonymous
replies 23Dec 3, 2017 11:37 AM +00:00

I can't get enough hot male butts, butt pics, etc. Nothing turns me on more than a big, round ass on a cute guy. In a stealthy manner, I snap picks of hot male asses on the street, in the hallway at work, at the gym, anywhere that I encounter them. They are clothed of course, but this doesn't bother me. The vast majority (if not all) of these men are straight. I have jacked off to said pics a million times - fantasizing about how I would molest and dominate them if I had the chance.

--Anonymous
replies 24Dec 3, 2017 12:19 PM +00:00

A god from the rowing club used to leave the library each evening at 7.50 and I decided to follow him. I saw his head disappearing to the basement toilets, and I had a look under the stall. He was standing up jacking. I waited until he had finished and left, went into the stall, and the walls and floor were flooded with cum. So next night I was waiting for him, stall door open, and jacking off. He looks at me, and I said I'd like to blow you, and got to do it. Became a regular thing for the rest of the semester. Checked him out in Linkedin recently----hot after 30 years.

--Anonymous
replies 25Dec 3, 2017 12:30 PM +00:00

I don't think he's straight.

--I think he's talking to you
replies 26Dec 3, 2017 12:32 PM +00:00

OP must know I'm guilty of doing things to, and with, a straight guy. Like R10 I found the tissue that a guy who I lived with used to catch his cum. I still have them. Gave head to a straight friend who was passed out. Went into the bedroom, while my straight friend was sleeping with his wife and grabbed his cock (was not caught), in college while my friends were sleeping after a poker party I checked them out, sucked a straight friend off while his brother and dad we sleeping in the next room (he acted like he was sleeping), but I was caught one time. After a friend's bachelor party, the soon-to-be-married's brother stayed at my house and I grabbed a feel when I thought he was asleep - he let me know the next day that he knew what I was doing. I'm older and hopefully somewhat wiser now.

--Anonymous
replies 27Dec 3, 2017 1:24 PM +00:00

Twenty years ago I had a beautiful straight roomie who I was crazy about. We were inseparable, did everything together. He hardly ever dated girls, and never got laid. We lived together for three years, people would joke that we were like an old married couple. In the mornings we'd go into the bathroom together, he'd shower while I shaved, then we'd switch. We were always naked together, even if we were somewhere else. We'd sometimes nap together, and we'd stare into each others eyes intensely. Needless to say I was a total wreck, the teasing was driving me mad. The last night we lived together he got drunk, and passed out. I unzipped his pants and sucked on him for a couple of minutes, he got hard, and I felt guilty and stopped. He said nothing the next morning, but he apparently told everyone, which effectively outed me. We did eventually talk about it, but despite his saying he still wanted to be friends, it destroyed our friendship. That's the biggest regret of my life. He got engaged once, called it off, eventually got married, and I think is now divorced. I still love and miss him.

--Anonymous
replies 28Dec 3, 2017 2:04 PM +00:00

Many many years ago when I was a teenager I was crazy about a kid named Pete. He was a year younger than me, and we were both members of a church group that met every week. He was tall and skinny and handsome with this goofy grin that I found irresistible. There was a party held in the church and when he bent over to tie his shoe I noticed he was not wearing any underwear. I went to him and said he had a hole in the back of his pants, which got him all upset. I took him to the bathroom (how no one walked in I'll never know) and told him to take off his pants and I would try to fix the hole. He did, and displayed a skinny cock that had to be about 6 inches long flaccid, with a thick black bush (I was surprised as he had blonde hair). Unfortunately that was the only time I saw him naked.

--Anonymous
replies 29Dec 3, 2017 3:28 PM +00:00

R28, well, you DID orally rape him, so....

--Anonymous
replies 30Dec 3, 2017 3:49 PM +00:00

Made up dirty lyrics to the theme song to his sitcom.

--Anonymous
replies 31Dec 3, 2017 5:56 PM +00:00

Thank you for being more offended than he was R30, but he forgave me decades ago. There was untimately no choice for him to choose another path. It was a different time.

--R28
replies 32Dec 3, 2017 6:02 PM +00:00

I ass-fucked him. He said his girlfriend didn't like to have sex often. But of course since he was bottoming it doesn't really seem like a good reason to me. He came without jerking and was amazed at "how good it feels."

--Anonymous
replies 33Dec 3, 2017 6:29 PM +00:00

Yeah, two of the hottest guys that I ever topped anally were "straight" studs. One was married with two kids and the other also married but only 20 yoa (not sure whether or not he fathered children). Neither kissed, sucked cock, etc. Both loved dick in the ass (and a tongue LOL) and after they got off - promptly put on their clothes and walked out. One was a repeat but only every 3 months or so. Very transactional and nothing more. I really do believe that both guys were mostly straight but anal curious.

--Anonymous
replies 34Dec 3, 2017 10:30 PM +00:00
I found the tissue that a guy who I lived with used to catch his cum. I still have them.

JFC.

--Anonymous
replies 35Dec 3, 2017 11:07 PM +00:00

Bump

--Anonymous
replies 36Dec 5, 2017 2:23 PM +00:00

Yeah, op. He was a dumbfuck because he didn't know you were a freak-o thief wearing his underwear.

--Anonymous
replies 37Dec 5, 2017 2:27 PM +00:00

in college, my roommate’s beefy hot brother slept on our couch from time to time. i was up for my morning run, and he laid there, passed out, the fly of his boxers open wide. i lingered for a few seconds and enjoyed the view.

damn, you bitches make me feel like pollyanna.

--anne with an “e”
replies 38Dec 5, 2017 2:30 PM +00:00

Holy fuck, these stories are perverted. I’m loving them despite my better instincts, which tell me that if this most of this shit were perpetratred on women, it would seem criminal. Only the army one has me clutching my figurative pearls, however. I guess I figure straight men aren’t in the power dynamic that women are. Still, a lot of this is skeevy.

--Anonymous
replies 39Dec 5, 2017 2:50 PM +00:00

He said to bite his foreskin, so I did and it bled. I think he should have told me to "nibble" instead.

--Anonymous
replies 40Dec 5, 2017 3:11 PM +00:00

I'm getting tired of gay men being expected to automatically agree with women or be branded a sexist. Good gay allies recognize that heterosexuality is the root cause of sexism.

--Anonymous
replies 41Dec 5, 2017 3:13 PM +00:00

Dear Nifty,

This thread is so full of shit.

--Pfft.
replies 42Dec 5, 2017 3:42 PM +00:00

Yeah? Your point, r37, hunty?

Dear farter at r42, then get off it, why don'tcha, bitch?

--Anonymous
replies 43Dec 5, 2017 3:48 PM +00:00

This rarely happens in real life. It happened after I binge-watched Blue Mountain State.

--It's the closest we'll ever get to SILVER SPOONS: THE COLLEGE YEARS
replies 44Dec 5, 2017 3:58 PM +00:00

Only in my dreams, of course.

--R44
replies 45Dec 5, 2017 3:59 PM +00:00

My "straight" roommate during a year in college and a while afterward (he did have sex with lots of women) used to bring them home drunk off their asses and bang them on the living room sofa. I had a safe spot to watch him fucking them. Generally the view was right up his ass. He was 6'2", played rugby in a league and had been a decathalete in college. Magnificent with the widest shoulders I've ever seen and a bubble ass with dents in the side. Hairy the way I like. I was careful not to touch myself when I watched them cause I would cum in an instant.

I blew him many times when we were drunk or stoned and twice he forcibly fucked me. No asking, just held me down and fucked me with no lube or prep. I was almost his size, so not easy. Yes, the dynamic between men is different. I loved every second.

He is a now a right wing asshole from Long Island with a FB profile picture of his 3rd wife, himself, and two of his six kids somewhere in Jerusalem. Stiffest dick I ever ran into.

--Anonymous
replies 46Dec 5, 2017 4:05 PM +00:00

I picked up a colored mans handkerchief and put in in my husband's suit pocket when I was angry with him for going to that bachelor party in Las Vegas. He never knew

--Mamie Eeasinhower
replies 47Dec 5, 2017 4:05 PM +00:00

R47 wins! R28 I would try to reconnect. What can you lose? The worst thing that can happen is that he won't reconnect and you would be in the same place you were before- with more information.

P.S. Have felt up, jerked off, sucked off, undressed, kissed and carried many a drunk, straight guy. Some helped, some knew and never said anything, some wanted it for their own reason, some came back for second helpings, and some never knew. It is still the only time sexual anything had a risk.

--Just my opinion
replies 48Dec 5, 2017 4:26 PM +00:00

My mom rented an apartment to a hot guy once. While she was painting another apartment, I used her key to go into his place while he was at work. I just poked around and sniffed some underwear.

--Anonymous
replies 49Dec 5, 2017 4:26 PM +00:00

I was deeply closeted during my freshman year at university and a handful of smoking hot muscular straight guys lived on my dorm floor (and other floors in the same building). While I joined a top fraternity and had sexual relationships with girls, I usually whacked off daily to fantasies about the previously mentioned boys. The laundry room was in the basement and I soon took to doing my laundry at the same time as many of my sexy male crushes in an attempt to have a captive audience. As the months went on, I realized that I could get more out of this situation.. I swiped a good 10/15 pairs of smelly, soiled, post-gym underwear when they left the room and before they washed their little briefs, thongs or gym shorts. Later while masturbating, I sniffed the ass part of the briefs and jerked to the thought of licking/fingering/fucking their asses. To make the theft less obvious, I usually replaced the sweaty underwear with new briefs that I had purchased just for the swap (often, I threw in a pair of my own instead). As far as I know, not a one of them ever said a word about it or figured out what I had done. Those were the days...

--Anonymous
replies 50Dec 5, 2017 4:51 PM +00:00

If this WERE Nifty, none of the stories would end so anticlimactically.

Heh, heh, I said climax.

--Anonymous
replies 51Dec 5, 2017 4:52 PM +00:00

You not getting the point, op/r43, just confirms you're the dumbfuck. You're also obviously a fucking nutjob.

- someone who doesn't steal underwear and wears them while passing the victim of their creepy fantasies to get his rocks off

--Anonymous
replies 52Dec 5, 2017 4:55 PM +00:00

You not getting the point, op/r43, just confirms you're the dumbfuck. You're also obviously a fucking nutjob.

- someone who doesn't steal underwear and wears them while passing the victim of their creepy fantasies to get his rocks off

--Anonymous
replies 53Dec 5, 2017 4:55 PM +00:00

A post so stupid, stupid r52/r53 posts it twice.

I'm sorry for you that you're such a fucking, judgmental bore. It was a pair of cheap undies he never missed, not his cherry.

--Anonymous
replies 54Dec 5, 2017 5:00 PM +00:00

Blew him while he was passed out drunk. Swallowed it too.

--Anonymous
replies 55Dec 5, 2017 5:02 PM +00:00

Op still won't acknowledge he's a fucking psycho.

--oh, you know
replies 56Dec 5, 2017 5:04 PM +00:00

r56 needs to look up the fucking psychos of history. And while Missy's at it she can look up a picture of a tight, unfucked cunt. She will recognize herself right away.

--Anonymous
replies 57Dec 5, 2017 5:07 PM +00:00

I KNOW WHAT YOU DID.

--RUTH TAYLOR
replies 58Dec 5, 2017 5:08 PM +00:00

I've sniffed so many underwear/socks/shoes of straight dudes I couldn't list them all here.

My favorite was my friend's distant cousin, who stayed with me for a few nights. He was Italian, spoke little to no English, and came out of the shower and into my living room nude....with, truly, the biggest flaccid cock I've ever seen.

No, nothing happened (this ain't Nifty or Tumblr) but don't think I wasn't gonna get a good whiff of those briefs. And I did.

--Anonymous
replies 59Dec 5, 2017 5:13 PM +00:00

More Vincent ...

i.pinimg.com
--Anonymous
replies 60Dec 5, 2017 5:15 PM +00:00

What dirty thing did you do to him, r60?

--Anonymous
replies 61Dec 5, 2017 5:17 PM +00:00

I watched The Brown Bunny.

--Anonymous
replies 62Dec 5, 2017 5:19 PM +00:00

Nothing but filth on this thread!

--Concerned filth monitor mom
replies 63Dec 5, 2017 5:22 PM +00:00

There once was a mysophiliac from Nantucket...

--Anonymous
replies 64Dec 5, 2017 5:36 PM +00:00

Has anyone ever submitted a request to one of those straight-bait websites, where you send them the guy's social media info and they pretend to be girls and get the guy to send naked pics and videos? Asking for a friend.

--Anonymous
replies 65Dec 5, 2017 7:07 PM +00:00

When a straight friend mooned me, I put my nose in his ass. He laughed, but I think he liked it. That's all.

--Anonymous
replies 66Dec 5, 2017 8:54 PM +00:00

R66, that sounds damn hot - assuming that said ass was a sexy one.

--Anonymous
replies 67Dec 6, 2017 7:32 PM +00:00

It was, R67. A swarthy Italian boy(we were in our teens).

--Anonymous
replies 68Dec 6, 2017 9:37 PM +00:00

Bump

--Anonymous
replies 69Dec 8, 2017 4:44 PM +00:00

A dirty thing a straight guy would do to ME. I was a closet case my freshman year. I had a very cocky handsome friend who'd drive us to the mall and supermarket. He never asked if I was gay or said anything about it but he knew and it delighted him that he knew. He would stick food down his jeans to shop lift. In the car he would pull it out slowly, first kind of fumbling around, and then say here I got you a treat and give it to me with a shit eating grin. I loved every minute of this game and we played it many times.

--Anonymous
replies 70Dec 8, 2017 5:00 PM +00:00

Had two straight roommates in my early 20's both hotter than shit. The one I was most attracted to was always bringing chicks home and banging them, then he would take them to their homes. One night after he left with this one girl, I went into his room and found a used condom full of his cum, I tasted his cum. That was the first cum I ever tasted.

--Anonymous
replies 71Dec 8, 2017 5:03 PM +00:00

R71, that was filthy, depraved, and disgusting. MORE! Tell us more!

--Anonymous
replies 72Dec 10, 2017 8:10 AM +00:00

That is so gross, r71! Cum taste better when it’s fresh & hot!

--Anonymous
replies 73Dec 10, 2017 8:14 AM +00:00

Sniffed the hot UPS delivery guy’s butt, while he was mending down to pick up a huge package.

--Anonymous
replies 74Dec 10, 2017 8:16 AM +00:00

I’m always taking pics of unsuspecting hot guys whether I’m out and about, at work, at a restaurant, a club, etc. I used to have a hot co-worker who always sported a huge package while he was sitting down. Once when we were eating lunch together (he was seated across from me) I slyly had my phone in my lap and discreetly shot pics of his crotch. I didn’t know how they would turn out, but they ended up nice and clear.

--Anonymous
replies 75Dec 10, 2017 8:38 AM +00:00

I took a jockstrap from my hot dude bro I worked with. We went to the same gym. He was perfect, gorgeous ass, dirty blonde hair, muscles, lean type build, like a hot basketball player or quarterback. One of the biggest and most beautiful dicks I ever have seen. WHEN he was in the shower, I took his jockstrap and stuck it in my bag. I had planned to do this for awhile but had to wait till nobody else was in the locker room. I spread it across my face for many a jo session. That summer, he painted my aunt's house for extra money, shirtless and in old shorts. I was over there often.

--Sniffer
replies 76Dec 10, 2017 8:46 AM +00:00

Mmm, R76, the memories, and memories of fantasies you have stirred. Fucking hot.

--Anonymous
replies 77Dec 10, 2017 8:52 AM +00:00

in the laundry room of my old building, I stole the training bra of the special ed girl who lived there with her aunt.

--Anonymous
replies 78Dec 10, 2017 9:30 AM +00:00

During college, I was in a band with a hot guitarist (smooth, blond, moderately muscled), and we occasionally had to sleep in the same beds in different cities when we toured (small towns, colleges, etc.). One night I couldn't take the sexual heat from his proximity in his underwear, so I furtively felt him up over his undies (I thought he was asleep, found out later he was pretending). He got hard, but that was the extent of it. Nothing was said. I jerked off in the bathroom and never came so hard.

A few weeks later, the same situation arose (heh), but this time as I started he said my name, and told me if I was going to do that, he should really take his underwear off, at which point I gave my first awkward blow job. Again, nothing ever said outside the room. Occasionally did it again several times, always with me instigating, and him being passive, but clearly excited and willing. No kissing or other affection.

The thrill of the feeling of sliding down the elastic tighty-whities and feeling rough bush and hairy legs rubbing on mine has fed my fantasy life ever since.

--Anonymous
replies 79Dec 10, 2017 9:39 AM +00:00

r78 didn’t understand the assignment.

--Anonymous
replies 80Dec 10, 2017 9:41 AM +00:00

R71s post was removed? how vile was it ? was it that bad?

--curious
replies 81Dec 10, 2017 9:43 AM +00:00

R71 is still there

--Anonymous
replies 82Dec 10, 2017 9:44 AM +00:00

I had sex with my ex's son for revenge. I was nice to the kid, but it did about kill his father.

Good.

--Anonymous
replies 83Dec 10, 2017 9:46 AM +00:00

You sound classy

--Anonymous
replies 84Dec 10, 2017 9:48 AM +00:00

Oh, I included it here because the father always insisted he was straight and used his wife, their sex life and their kids as proof.

Ha.

And you're a useless, lifeless cunt, R83. The DL deserves more of me and much less of you.

--R82
replies 85Dec 10, 2017 9:49 AM +00:00

Another laundry related story:

Had a friend in high school who I had a crush on pretty much the entire time we were there. We weren't super close, sort of casual - in the same assigned class, friends of friends, etc. We became better acquainted over time through that, sharing classes, working together on projects, etc. He was very cute (why else would I be crushing, right?) - tall, slim, dark hair, handsome face, had that lovely permanent natural tan skin tone (not sure what his ethnic background was but I suspect there might've been some Latin in him, maybe Italian) . He was a genuinely nice dude as well, which added to the crush. I can't tell you how many times I jerked off over the years fantasising about him.

Anyway, we hung out at his house a couple of times through the years, sometimes in a small group, sometimes not. This one occasion it was just the two of us, working on an assignment for English (we'd been sat next to each other by the teacher who liked to choose where people sat in her classroom to ensure BFFs didn't sit together and chat all the time, which didn't work). We're in his bedroom, and he has a laundry hamper near his wardrobe. The friend says he's gonna go get drinks and snacks and goes downstairs. I knew he'd take a couple of minutes and my puberty induced hormonal perpetual horniness took over, and I decided to go for it. Went over to the laundry hamper, had a quick rummage, found a pair of his black boxer briefs and a pair of black sport socks, and took a little time to sniff them. Was very erotic, even though it was brief. They just had that musky, slightly sweaty, used smell, just enough for it to be a turn on. I didn't take them, though (sometimes still kinda regret that actually hahaha). Popped a boner, of course, but managed to put them back without him noticing before he came back in the room. The memory of it was A grade wank bank fodder afterwards.

That's really the only thing from me though. I'm pretty vanilla lol.

--Anonymous
replies 86Dec 10, 2017 9:54 AM +00:00

College; drunk friend Matt, blow job. Volleys of cum. Delish. End of story.

toprealmen.com
--Anonymous
replies 87Dec 10, 2017 10:08 AM +00:00

R83. How did your ex find out? Did you tell your ex that you had sex with his son? Or did the son tell his father he had sex with you? Or did the father catch you and his son having sex?

--Anonymous
replies 88Dec 10, 2017 10:42 AM +00:00

I am guilty as well of slurping cum out of used condoms. I surprised myself. It happened in my 30s and with a guy I met and fucked in a cruise park maybe 2-3 dozen times over a couple of years I was really horny. We always fucked safe. One time about 15 fucks into our "knowing" each other (I never knew anything about him) he drove me absolutely wild with desire and he came, pulled up his jeans, smiled said ciao, and disappeared into the bushes. I could see his filled condom on a branch and seized with gluttony, guzzled it. It tasted great. I wasn't even a fan of cum. I did about 4 more times after that. Then the novelty wore off and it seemed disgusting again.

--Anonymous
replies 89Dec 10, 2017 1:59 PM +00:00

Well, I fucked that up. Because obviously my park buddy wasn't straight. Oh well. scusey

--Anonymous
replies 90Dec 10, 2017 2:02 PM +00:00

It was hot nonetheless, R90!

--Anonymous
replies 91Dec 10, 2017 4:19 PM +00:00

Wow. Some of you really live on the edge. You hang around in laundry rooms a lot too.

--Anonymous
replies 92Dec 10, 2017 4:34 PM +00:00

Bump

--Anonymous
replies 93Dec 11, 2017 2:42 AM +00:00

More!

--Anonymous
replies 94Dec 11, 2017 2:56 PM +00:00

When a roofing company was installing a new roof on our townhouse (a group of 11 townhouses that were run by a condo board), a roofer accidentally hit a water-line directly under roof (bad design of course, but my place was built back in the dark ages I assume). As luck would have it, I was home for lunch (my office was 2/3 minutes away then) and when water stated pouring down through the living room chandelier - I knew that something was amiss. Minutes later, I was yelling for the crew to stop and frantically searching for the cut off valve outside in the flower bed. This gorgeous, 6'3", handsome-faced, strapping, muscular, dirty blond Adonis showed up about 30 minutes later to help out. I guess that he was some sort of a manager at the company. He was ridiculously kind, apologetic and helpful and stayed the entire afternoon - just there to ease my anxiety over the house partially flooding I assume. He ran out and bought 30 to 35 towels to sop up water the best he could. He crawled up into the attic to assess and stop the damage and basically did whatever he could to aid in the nightmare (the three story townhouse had leaked water from the roof to all three floors). I could not take my eyes off of his perfect ass (and body) when he ascended the attic ladders. The man was breathtakingly hot IMO and maybe a couple years older than I at that time (he had a little gray in the blond hair but looked to be a sexy 32 yoa or so). His ass resembled two basketballs in his tight jeans and his legs were long, lean and muscular. His wife called about 3 times that day and they discussed their kids. He pulled out a ladder to check the ceiling fixture in the living room (12 foot ceilings) and the ladder started to slip on the sopping wet floor. I jumped in and immediately grabbed and stabilized it the best that I could when next he started to loose his footing on the ladder. Instinctively, I grabbed handfuls of his perfect round ass and kept him from falling. As lewd as it was - he thanked me repeatedly and didn't blink an eye. To this day, I know that I prevented an accident - but I am sure that I could have been less aggressive in my attempt to grope and squeeze what I had been lusting after for hours. Who knows...he didn't blink an eye so perhaps he didn't take it as inappropriate at all. Or he just turned a blind eye. I still jerk off to the experience. Damn, that was one fine man.

--Anonymous
replies 95Dec 11, 2017 7:54 PM +00:00

PAGIING ALL GREASE FIRES:

PLEASE REPORT TO R57.

You still have a chance before she's hauled off to jail!

--Anonymous
replies 96Dec 11, 2017 8:39 PM +00:00

Great story, R95!

--Anonymous
replies 97Dec 12, 2017 4:10 PM +00:00

R49...no offense intended, but what if your mom had done that too? What would you think?

--Anonymous
replies 98Dec 12, 2017 4:52 PM +00:00

Bump!

--Anonymous
replies 99Dec 13, 2017 12:43 PM +00:00

I made him use paragraphs.

--Anonymous
replies 100Dec 13, 2017 2:04 PM +00:00

r96 has a major amount of sand in her vadge.

--Anonymous
replies 101Dec 13, 2017 3:21 PM +00:00

I poked the nipple of a sleeping drunk hot boy on a night train. Somewhere in the Alps. Couldn't resist.

Then again, I don't know if he was straight, so that might not fit this thread.

--Anonymous
replies 102Dec 13, 2017 3:49 PM +00:00