After you first meet someone and you both have that damn chemistry which makes everyone insane sexually.... ( for the 1st 3-5 months anyway)
the FIRST time you are lied to, by omission or otherwise, the 1st time you are disrespected in ANY WAY, the 1st time you
are made to feel your time is not important, Never see or talk to that person again. period. after you tell them to go to hell and take their shitty behavior with them.
Love means never having to say your sorry.
Be honest from the moment you meet them. Also, learn how to listen. And look for a person who can do the same.
Don’t be needy.
DON'T KEEP ANY HUSBAND LONGER THAN FIVE YEARS. AND NO GODDAMN PRE-NUPS!
Do NOT talk about past relationships.
Focus on friendship. That will endure long after the romance fades.
You should have a shared sense of humor. That reflects a shared view of the world.
(My last BF was a humorless idiot.)
Look for things that you have in common and develop those interests.
R3 and R8 offer good advice.
I watched with trepidation and glee Property Brothers Season 11 Episode 1. Gay couple of 24 years move to Nashville. Check out their advice for being compatible. (Hint: mirroring).
Don’t ever ask the “Where do you see this relationship going?” question. It’s manipulative and will only taint the relationship. Go with the fucking flow. Ask literally any other question but not that one.
Stay away from people who have serious mental illness like bipolar, or personality disorders like narcissism.
I'm on the fence with piece of advice r9. You are right to a point. But there is nothing duller (after 10 years) of talking to the same person about the same things.
Isn't it more refreshing for say, a musician partner to take you to concerts, educate you or for the other partner to have unique hobby say, love of historic architecture. Or Art. Or Myths in Theology. Or Furniture-Making. A passion not necessarily emanating from a profession. You would be endlessly intrigued, in awe of the other person's passionate pursuits which give you each a sense of accomplishment. But still "life partners."
Space (along with a little mystery) is the most crucial thing in a relationship. As important as it is to have shared values and common interests, it is just as important to have your own interests, your own hobbies, your own passions - in essence, your own life - separate from your partner.
Too many people make the mistake of losing their identity in a relationship. Remain your own person - it'll help keep you sane and help keep your partner interested in you.
Don't tolerate passive aggressiveness. Don't be passive aggressive.
Thank you, r15.
When someone shows you who he is, believe him. And if he shows you something ugly, don’t try to rationalize it. Get out and don’t look back.
That, and never let the other person see you doing anything in the bathroom, whether it’s using the toilet or brushing your teeth. That’s too much intimacy.
R15 I tihnk having impeccably clean nether regions is most crucial.....
but space does incur mystery which drives people crazy.....
speaking of don't fall in love with anyone who is crazy... but that really narrows the playing field.....
Keep yourself healthy and develop good self esteem. There's nothing better for a relationship than taking good care of your physical and mental health.
Don’t fall in love with a bottom.
Make time for sex and keep the romance alive.
If you're more a parent than a boy friend, dump him. He needs to grow up and attend therapy, not have you to use and call his 'significant other'.
Don’t go through his phone or computer. That’s a deal breaker.
Ask if he understands what white privilege is. If he doesn’t or reacts defensively, dump him. Bigots are not worth your time.
R25, I dumped someone over just that. Plus, they bring it up every time we meet, so we don’t meet anymore.
R25 You must be a real joy to be around.
Remember that there is no one you can't live without. Make sure it's a 2way street--that he is nice to you too.
If a guy owns his own pool cue, watch out.
Learn to compromise as long as he reciprocates back. The humor thing is huge too. You may as well be with another species if you don’t laugh at the same things.
Be pleasant to members of his family and try not to be critical, but still be sympathetic to his frustrations. Always take his side in an argument with a member of his family.
Keep him cuffed and grateful.
Don't put expectations on someone that you wouldn't have them put on you. Be gentle with their vulnerability. Expect the same back. You can't make someone love you.
Never speak I’ll of your partner to your family. You may forgive your partner, but your family will not. It’ll drive a wedge that will divide your family from your spouse.
Dont get fat
R34, that is so true!
Keep some secret money. You have to be very good at this and never ever get caught because its a shitty thing to do but in most cases, you'll be glad you did.
Supreme Court justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg had some great advice. She said you have to learn to be a little deaf sometimes. That is, when your partner is in a bad mood and says something unkind, just let it go and move on.
If he talks about his big dick all the time but it really is not....RUN!
If you are a bottom do whatever it takes to hold on to a good top.