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Alf Raped Me

It was awful, that damn puppetteer had Alf fuzzy fingers go where God hadn't intended them too.

I went to the cops and they said, "You deserve it for being such an awful actor."
--Benji Gregory
replies 31Nov 10, 2017 8:10 PM +00:00

OP, you've inspired me to tell my story. Cookie Monster eye raped me with those big googly eyes of his and tried to have sex with me.


replies 1Nov 10, 2017 8:26 PM +00:00

I have no doubt YOU had sex with CM but I would be safe to assume YOU did the raping


replies 2Nov 10, 2017 9:02 PM +00:00

It was a shockingly harrowing experience.
replies 3Nov 10, 2017 9:22 PM +00:00

Tickle Me Elmo tickled me there when he vibrated.

replies 4Nov 10, 2017 9:24 PM +00:00

Those googly eyes are impossible to resist

--Mr Hooper
replies 5Nov 10, 2017 9:32 PM +00:00
I went to the cops and they said, "You deserve it for being such an awful actor."

He made me look good

--Danny Pintauro
replies 6Nov 11, 2017 12:09 AM +00:00

Since one of the stars of ALF was involved in a real-life sex scandal, this is small potatoes.

replies 7Nov 11, 2017 10:40 AM +00:00

OP you lie, Alf ate MY pussy!

--disgruntled lez
replies 8Nov 11, 2017 10:44 AM +00:00

My partner fisted me for hours while a crowd watched.

--Hand Puppet
replies 9Nov 11, 2017 10:50 AM +00:00

I never liked that Alf show.

replies 10Nov 11, 2017 7:57 PM +00:00

R10 = Madame, jealous because her sitcom tanked after a year.

replies 11Dec 5, 2017 1:55 PM +00:00
He made me look good —Danny Pintauro

Nobody's that bad an actor.

--Jeremy Gelbwaks
replies 12Dec 5, 2017 1:57 PM +00:00

Waylon fisted me for the entirety of my career! I, however, DEMANDED it!!!

replies 13Dec 5, 2017 2:13 PM +00:00

Gimme some more money and I'll name who did the same to me.

--Forey Celdman
replies 14Dec 5, 2017 2:17 PM +00:00

They just shelved his latest movie, a biopic on Alf Capone.

replies 15Dec 5, 2017 2:41 PM +00:00

!nmaD !nmaD! !nmaD

--Alf Snave
replies 16Dec 5, 2017 2:49 PM +00:00

replies 17Dec 5, 2017 2:50 PM +00:00


--Miss Piggy
replies 18Dec 5, 2017 3:40 PM +00:00

Alf was high on cotton. He has a cotton problem

replies 19Dec 5, 2017 4:23 PM +00:00

R1 CM could probably tell you had stuck a sleeve of chocolate chip cookies up your backside in an attempt to make your mussy as moist as a Toll House Cookie!

replies 20Dec 5, 2017 5:20 PM +00:00

Bitch @ r18...You KNOW who violated who!!! I'll never be able to get your grunting and sweating off my mind!!!

--Kermit D. Frog, victim!
replies 21Dec 5, 2017 5:38 PM +00:00

Gonzo said if I didn't do everything he wanted, he'd introduce me to "The Colonel." I still can't talk about it.

replies 22Dec 5, 2017 5:39 PM +00:00

I can still feel Snuffleupagus' trunk all over me.
replies 23Dec 5, 2017 5:48 PM +00:00
Alf was high on cotton. He has a cotton problem

Is that why he got the munchies and tried to eat me?

--Garfield — I can match him carb for carb
replies 24Dec 5, 2017 5:52 PM +00:00

R21 Oh Kermit. You should know only animals sweat and ladies like moi glow.

--The Dvine Miss Piggy
replies 25Dec 6, 2017 4:56 AM +00:00

I watched Alf last night on METV and the episode was about him running for president, he was so cute. That kid Benji really turned out strange looking. I would totally bang Alf.

replies 26Dec 6, 2017 5:29 AM +00:00

Mr Hooper raped Gordon who murdered him and covered it up with the help of Big Bird who was thousands of dollars into Hooper for birdseed milkshakes

replies 27Dec 6, 2017 6:39 AM +00:00

Bert and Ernie raped and double penetrated me!

--Teddy Ruxpin
replies 28Dec 6, 2017 6:56 AM +00:00

Y'all know what happened to us so we don't even need to make stuff up!

--Arnold and Dudley
replies 29Dec 6, 2017 7:05 AM +00:00

I had fun times on a cruise ship. It was like fishing in an aquarium. The plump old ones were the easiest. Hyuh hyuh hyuh

replies 30Dec 6, 2017 2:09 PM +00:00

replies 31Dec 6, 2017 2:14 PM +00:00