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Tell us something that could save our life, or spare us great harm.

Most venomous snakes have a slit pupil, while ones with round pupils are usually non-venomous ( the coral snake is one exception); most have triangular heads.

--Anonymous
replies 252Aug 18, 2017 1:52 PM +00:00

FAST is an acronym used as a mnemonic to help detect and enhance responsiveness to stroke victim needs. The acronym stands for Facial drooping, Arm weakness, Speech difficulties and Time to call emergency service.

Facial drooping: A section of the face, usually only on one side, that is drooping and hard to move. This can be recognized by a crooked smile.

Arm weakness: The inability to raise one's arm fully

Speech difficulties: An inability or difficulty to understand or produce speech

Time: If any of the symptoms above are showing, time is of the essence; call the emergency services or go to the hospital

The FAST was developed in the UK in 1998 by a group of stroke physicians, ambulance personnel, and an emergency room physician and was designed to be an integral part of a training package for ambulance staff. But we should all remember and recognized it.

--Anonymous
replies 1Aug 18, 2017 2:01 PM +00:00

Don't eat the yellow snow.

--Anonymous
replies 2Aug 18, 2017 2:14 PM +00:00

Always pre lube and douche daily

--Seasoned bottom
replies 3Aug 18, 2017 2:18 PM +00:00

Long,ago I was mugged in NO by a couple of kids who said they had a gun. I pretended (and it wasn't hard) that i was having a heart attack, and they ran off.

--Anonymous
replies 4Aug 18, 2017 2:26 PM +00:00

For those DLers living in hurricane-prone areas, prepare a container containing your pet's food to last a week in case you are evacuated to a shelter.

--Anonymous
replies 5Aug 18, 2017 2:30 PM +00:00

FAST acronym was formulated to acutely identify early-onset stroke patients potentially eligible for clot-bustimg treatment (tPA). The fact is, less than 20% of strokes present with facial droop, arm weakness or speech slurring.

--Anonymous
replies 6Aug 18, 2017 2:31 PM +00:00

Most - maybe not all, but most - dangerous snakes and spiders are brightly coloured, as a warning. Same with poisonous frogs. If any of these animals are black and white, or have a combination of black with red, yellow or orange, they are likely to be dangerous. Best case scenario is that they are harmless but mimicking a dangerous one.

And remember, too, that not all heart attacks involve chest pain, especially in women. Pain can be in the arm or jaw, or there may be other symptoms like faintness and breathlessness and no pain. Don't assume it isn't a heart attack because you don't have the text book chest pain.

--Anonymous
replies 7Aug 18, 2017 2:37 PM +00:00

In North America where rattlesnakes of any species exist look at the shape of the head. It is diamond shaped. They often do not rattle before striking and they most often bite defensively because you unwittingly stepped on them or very near them. Wear leather hiking boots and keep watching where you step or sit.

If you're a tourist in Australia, assume that most anything can and possibly will bite you at any given moment. Sorry to say, you can't narrow it down to just snakes or crocs or rural areas; the cities are replete with many of these various critters.

In addition to multiple potentially deadly snake species and saltwater crocs there are deadly spiders, ants, box jellyfish, geographer snails, Stonefish, blue-ringed octopus, male platypuses and more I can't recall at the moment. All can cause, variously, unpleasant to excruciating pain if not death (though with many of the above death is a reasonable possibility.)

If being on a more elevated sense of watchful alertness about your surroundings is a vacation plus, Australia is a great destination for that. Oh, I forgot to mention the terrestrial leeches that will fall on you from trees and shrubs and make a meal of you given the opportunity. They are a special feature of Lamington Park in Queensland, though I imagine they might be found elsewhere.

--I truly love Australia
replies 8Aug 18, 2017 2:48 PM +00:00

Water Moccasins / Cotton Mouths are black, not "brightly coloUred."

Copperheads are rust and dirt colored.

Those are the most numerous poisonous snakes in most of Texas and they are not "brightly coloUred."

Both of those kinds of snakes have lots and lots of non-poisonous imitators/look-alikes who end up slaughtered even though they are harmless.

--Anonymous
replies 9Aug 18, 2017 2:54 PM +00:00

Australia seems truly horrific for humans.

It's a goanna or Lace Monitor, which can grow more than four feet long and scale rough surfaces with sharp claws.
Business Insider
--Anonymous
replies 10Aug 18, 2017 2:57 PM +00:00

Texas coral snake R9

upload.wikimedia.org
--Anonymous
replies 11Aug 18, 2017 2:58 PM +00:00

When I had strokes, the symptoms were loss of vision on one occasion and vertigo on another - none of the other symptoms.

--Anonymous
replies 12Aug 18, 2017 3:00 PM +00:00

We have alligators in the lakes and rivers where I live, and some of the old timers can get pretty big.

But our 'gators are like play alligators compared to the salt-water crocs of NE Australia. Those motherfuckers are huge and look as iff they could eat you whole and barely chew.

--Anonymous
replies 13Aug 18, 2017 3:00 PM +00:00

Eastern coral snake

upload.wikimedia.org
--Anonymous
replies 14Aug 18, 2017 3:01 PM +00:00

Coral Snakes do not strike humans like rattlesnakes. copperheads, cobras, water moccasins, etc.

They have to gnaw at you to break your skin - if you sit there and give them the time!

And you said "Most," but Coral Snakes are much less populous than the two types I mentioned, plus rattlesnakes which are also not brightly colored, but look like straw and rocks.

--Anonymous
replies 15Aug 18, 2017 3:03 PM +00:00

Tried and True - Just Say No to drugs: cocaine, crack, meth, heroin, etc. They're going to hurt you. You don't do drugs - drugs do you.

--Anonymous
replies 16Aug 18, 2017 3:05 PM +00:00

Here's my uneducated advice: When you see a snake, stay away or run away. Don't try to look at the pupils or the coloring. Don't take a selfie.

The same goes for crocodiles and alligators.

--Anonymous
replies 17Aug 18, 2017 3:08 PM +00:00

Poison dart frog

encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
--Anonymous
replies 18Aug 18, 2017 3:09 PM +00:00

Poison dart frog 2. See also: wasps, bees.

www.wri.org
--Anonymous
replies 19Aug 18, 2017 3:17 PM +00:00

Don't ever mix Coke/Pepsi or any soda with laundry detergent it will release toxic gas that can kill you.

--Anonymous
replies 20Aug 18, 2017 3:20 PM +00:00

Snakes can actually jump, too. Give them a wide berth.

--Anonymous
replies 21Aug 18, 2017 3:22 PM +00:00

If you have a vertical crease in your earlobe, you have heart disease which could lead to a heart attack. If you have a concave chest, you have have ischemic-related heart problems which could lead to a stroke.

--...Or not
replies 22Aug 18, 2017 3:24 PM +00:00

Two things:

1) You can do the Heimlich maneuver on yourself if you feel you are choking and no one is around to help you. Put your fists together and make sharp jabs in your belly/lower abdomen to try to force air to dislodge food that might be stuck in your windpipe.

2) I've read that if you encounter a swarm of bees that instead of running straight away that you should run in the pattern of a Z, going zigzag, and that this sort of confounds them and if you keep going further away in that manner, you can escape from them.

--Anonymous
replies 23Aug 18, 2017 3:25 PM +00:00

Don't go in the water for a half hour after eating.

--Your Mother
replies 24Aug 18, 2017 3:37 PM +00:00

If you're being chased by a bear, running downhill makes it harder for them than running uphill.

--Anonymous
replies 25Aug 18, 2017 3:38 PM +00:00

If you get lost in the woods follow a stream, most end at a road.

--Anonymous
replies 26Aug 18, 2017 3:41 PM +00:00

Leaves of three, let them be.

Leaves of four, eat some more.

--Anonymous
replies 27Aug 18, 2017 3:43 PM +00:00

Berries

White and yellow, kill a fellow.

Purple and blue, good for you.

Red... could be good, could be dead.

If [red berries are] growing in little clusters, they're probably not good. If they're growing in little singletons, they probably are good.

--Anonymous
replies 28Aug 18, 2017 3:44 PM +00:00

If you are caught in a riptide, don't swim against it to get back to shore. Rip tides tend to be rather narrow. Swim parallel to the shore until you are out of the current, then you can safely get back to shore. Swim against the current and you'll just tire yourself out and die.

--Anonymous
replies 29Aug 18, 2017 3:46 PM +00:00

Banded snakes.

Red Touch Yellow - Kills a Fellow

Red Touch Black - Venom Lack

Yellow Touches Red - Soon You'll Be Dead

Red Touches Black - Friend of Jack

--Anonymous
replies 30Aug 18, 2017 3:46 PM +00:00

R26, that's what drove me so crazy about Blair Witch Project. I kept thinking, follow the water, you stupid mfers! Everybody knows that!

--Anonymous
replies 31Aug 18, 2017 3:46 PM +00:00

If you fall into a raging river, roll over on your back and point your feet downstream. Don't stand up until you are very sure you are in shallow water, like you can touch the bottom with your hands while still on your back.

--Anonymous
replies 32Aug 18, 2017 3:50 PM +00:00

If you are on a ship that starts listing noticeably to one side, get on deck and kill anybody who tries to get in your way.

--Ghosts of the Sewol and the ferry Estonia
replies 33Aug 18, 2017 3:53 PM +00:00

If you have to drive through the ethnic neighborhood, lock your doors and raise your windows and keep driving. Don't stop no matter what.

--Anonymous
replies 34Aug 18, 2017 3:54 PM +00:00

"In all situations, drink or cook only with water that comes out of the tap cold. Water that comes out of the tap warm or hot can contain much higher levels of lead. Boiling this water will NOT reduce the amount of lead in your water."

www.cdc.gov
--Miss CDC
replies 35Aug 18, 2017 3:56 PM +00:00

R34

And whatever you do don't get out at that delicious looking taqueria or BBQ joint.

--'Coz your racist ass doesn't deserve any
replies 36Aug 18, 2017 3:56 PM +00:00

If you are at the beach and the water starts receding quickly, don't stand around picking up seashells. Get to high ground before the tsunami gets there.

--Anonymous
replies 37Aug 18, 2017 3:59 PM +00:00

It's quite odd that so many are obsessing about poisonous frogs, since many of you also probably posted with frantic horror about U.S. Parks deaths/disappearances, and few of you go outside, camping or into woods.

Most of you are going to die of heart disease, a drunk driver or in a hospital. So stop eating junk food, fatties. Your diet is more toxic than a frog.

www.snopes.com
--Anonymous
replies 38Aug 18, 2017 4:04 PM +00:00

Buy cheap flood insurance if there is a creek within ½ mile of your home.

--Anonymous
replies 39Aug 18, 2017 4:05 PM +00:00

Used to watch a survivalist show with this ex British ranger on some cable channel. For some reason these things stuck with me:

If you are going hiking or exploring in a wilderness area always leave an itinerary with a timetable with someone and check in regularly. Tell them to contact authorities if you miss one of your scheduled check-ins.

When your vehicle breaks down in the wild stay with it, don't go walking to search for help. People who leave their vehicles and go walking often get lost and die.

If stranded, burn one of your tires. The thick black smoke makes it easy for search planes to spot you. Burning brush/wood makes grey smoke that blends in with the clouds from up high it's easy for them to miss you on the ground. They won't miss a burning tire.

--Anonymous
replies 40Aug 18, 2017 4:07 PM +00:00

Erna has HIV, Hepatitis, Chancroid., Trichomoniasis, Human Papillomavirus, Herpes, Gonorrhea, and Chlamydia.

--And shit breath
replies 41Aug 18, 2017 4:11 PM +00:00

If a deer jumps into the road in front of your car your best bet is to just brake & hit the deer, don't swerve because you're likely to hit guardrails or a tree.

--sorry Bambi
replies 42Aug 18, 2017 4:19 PM +00:00

R36. You are so right! Cuz then they will mug and rob you! Maybe do the rape on ya too!

--Anonymous
replies 43Aug 18, 2017 4:34 PM +00:00

R36. They have E Coli.

--Anonymous
replies 44Aug 18, 2017 4:37 PM +00:00

If you have a problem with bee stings, do this right away, immediately:

Cut an onion in half.

Apply to directly to sting and hold it there for awhile, maybe five minutes.

The onion works to draw out the venom and somehow neutralizes all pain. It's astonishing how well this works.

--Dont eat the onion! Toss it out.
replies 45Aug 18, 2017 4:42 PM +00:00

If you encounter a skunk at very close proximity always stay facing it and just stand still, don't look intently into its eyes. The skunk might spray if feeling cornered but the spray is far less likely to radiate in your direction if its ass is facing in the opposite direction (though always look for dead calm or wind at your back for assurance.) They don't have great eyesight but can sense if a predator species (we fall into that group to them) is eyeballing them and are on higher alert in that situation.

If you or your dog do get skunked, a product called Skunk Off works really well.

--Anonymous
replies 46Aug 18, 2017 4:44 PM +00:00

If you are going to swim in the ocean, first look up jellyfish mating cycles in your area. Many species of jellyfish congregate in large numbers for 1 - 2 days per month to mate. It's regrettable to get caught among the deadly ones.

--Learned the hard way
replies 47Aug 18, 2017 4:46 PM +00:00

Always wear a condom even if you are on prep

--I know so 1990s
replies 48Aug 18, 2017 4:48 PM +00:00

God I hope I'm never close enough to a snake to look it in the eye.

--Anonymous
replies 49Aug 18, 2017 4:49 PM +00:00

Before agreeing to be alone with someone you don't know, stop and think. This is how many people are robbed, raped or killed nowadays. This sounds over-the-top but it could work: if you're traveling in an area of high crime, carry a fake wallet with some cash in it. Make it look convincing. That way if you're robbed, you're fake - robbed.

--Anonymous
replies 50Aug 18, 2017 4:51 PM +00:00

A chef told me not to infuse cooking oil (by adding garlic or herbs) and storing it, myself. He said you can give yourself botulism that way.

Know how to sport deadly poisonous plants in your area and whichever area you visit - especially water hemlock, which can kill you if you touch it.

--Anonymous
replies 51Aug 18, 2017 4:56 PM +00:00

By "area of high crime" I'm referring to tourist destinations. - r50

--Anonymous
replies 52Aug 18, 2017 5:00 PM +00:00

Here are my life-saving rules, as related to public transportation:

First of all, never, ever, initiate or engage in conversation with anybody; do not make eye contact with anybody; and, whatever you do, DO NOT touch anything with bare hands! A multitude of maladies can be avoided by following these simple rules. Think about it.

Committing any of the aforementioned sins WILL result in stalkers, beat-downs, and bacterial and viral infections.

--Ear Buds and Driving Gloves
replies 53Aug 18, 2017 5:03 PM +00:00

A poisonous snake will put its tail in its mouth and roll like a wheel to chase you. Go uphill to get away from it and the snake won't be able to chase.

--Anonymous
replies 54Aug 18, 2017 5:10 PM +00:00

Vampires can be warded off with garlic. Just hang some in a pretty, tied bunch in your kitchen or your front doorway!

--Anonymous
replies 55Aug 18, 2017 5:44 PM +00:00

Career insurance: when your boss, manager, coworkers inquire how you are, your plans for your vacation/weekend: you are ALWAYS "Fabulous," and you are doing "absolutely nothing" for your vacation / time off. Disclosing ANYTHING is providing ammunition for manipulation, gossip, availability to pry at your privacy, and the like.

Whenever my manager or coworkers inquire about my plans for such, such as, "Are you doing anything special?" Even if I were to plan on indulging in all things glorious, as related to my time off (dating, shopping, sex, travel, eating, reading, cruising the DL, etc.), it's MY indulgent shit to enjoy; it is not theirs to 'use.' Therefore, my standard reply is always, "Yes. I'm doing absolutely NOTHING in order to enjoy the Gift of Time."

It's all about damage control and shutting down nosy-ass 'unnecessary questions.' Follow it.

--Anonymous
replies 56Aug 18, 2017 6:05 PM +00:00

I hope the OP pets a boomslang or another deadly, round-pupilled colubrid.

Is OP 12 years old, a woman, or just ignorant with a capital A?

--Anonymous
replies 57Aug 18, 2017 6:10 PM +00:00

Cottonmouths are not black. They are brown and gray and if you look closely you can see they are marked with intersecting bands.

Also, the young of many snake species look different than adults, and can easily be mistaken for harmless snakes.

Just leave snakes in the wild alone. Please.

--Anonymous
replies 58Aug 18, 2017 6:12 PM +00:00

In NYC there's been a big promotion for people to carry around Naloxone, in case they encounter someone who's OD'd (on heroin I think ). It's available for free.

--Anonymous
replies 59Aug 18, 2017 9:09 PM +00:00

Lay off the booze and joy juice.

--H. Lawson
replies 60Aug 18, 2017 9:12 PM +00:00

Get your bloodwork and blood pressure checked every year.

Kidney disease has almost no noticeable symptoms until it's far advanced.

--Anonymous
replies 61Aug 18, 2017 9:14 PM +00:00

I had a heart attack a few years ago and was rushed to hospital and received a stent.

The next day when I was lucid, the doctors and nurses said that they wished they could tell all adults over the age of 40 to take aspirin daily as it had an incredible range of health benefits for most people.

--Anonymous
replies 62Aug 18, 2017 9:25 PM +00:00

Anyone who worked in the cane fields of the Caribbean learned to fear the dreaded FER-DE-LANCE

--Anonymous
replies 63Aug 18, 2017 9:27 PM +00:00

You need to learn how to fucking read, r57.

--op
replies 64Aug 18, 2017 9:28 PM +00:00

R62, hope you're okay. I think the aspirin is a little tricky. For people who've had a heart attack, a baby aspirin, I think, but for others, the possibility of gastric problems may outweigh the benefits? Something for people to check on.

--Anonymous
replies 65Aug 18, 2017 9:35 PM +00:00

If you are in a snake infested area stamp your feet as you walk, the snakes can sense the vibrations and will steer clear of you. ALWAYS slow down when driving at sunrise and sunset, that's when the kangaroos and wombats etc are at their most active and they have no road sense. Don't stand under a solitary tree in a lightening storm. If you're going into leach infested areas take some salt with you and sprinkle it on any leach that attaches. Ticks love your armpits and groin, metholated spirits kill them. If you leave your shoes outside give them a shake before putting them on, spiders love empty shoes. If you're going to an outside toilet always lift the seat with a stick and check for spiders and bull ants, spiders love toilets. Never move a rock or log with your bare hands, spiders and snakes and bull ants love hiding beneath them.

--Aussie country kid
replies 66Aug 18, 2017 9:35 PM +00:00

Further to R47, if you are stung by a jellyfish or its eggs, plain white vinegar splashed on the affected area will reduce the pain.

--Anonymous
replies 67Aug 18, 2017 9:42 PM +00:00

What if I have only balsamic?

--Anonymous
replies 68Aug 18, 2017 9:52 PM +00:00

If you are an eldergay with nothing to eat in the kitchen and little to no money left a few days before your next Social Security or pension deposit, do not eat dogfood. It often contains ground bone parts that dogs can digest but you can't. The bone parts can be jagged and cause internal injuries to humans.

--Anonymous
replies 69Aug 18, 2017 9:52 PM +00:00

R68 It'll work if you are stung by jellyfish on an Italian beach.

--Anonymous
replies 70Aug 18, 2017 9:58 PM +00:00

R69 but cat food is A-OK!

--Moris
replies 71Aug 18, 2017 10:15 PM +00:00

If someone a lot bigger than you is trying to hurt you, bend their pinky finger to the side as hard as you can. It hurts horrifically and can buy you enough time to get away. Bending the finger back doesn't hurt as much.

If you ever find a gun or for some reason have to hold one, remember the first rule of gun safety is to make sure the gun is pointed in a safe direction. This way, if it discharges, it won't hit anyone.

--Anonymous
replies 72Aug 18, 2017 10:28 PM +00:00

Isn't twisting the earlobe a good tactic?, There's a form of martial art called Krav Maga that teaches how to use objects that are around, for self defense.

--Anonymous
replies 73Aug 18, 2017 10:56 PM +00:00

The best tactic is going directly for the eyeballs and other balls, clawing, poking, biting, hitting, twisting etc. A housekey in the eyeball is effective.

--Anonymous
replies 74Aug 18, 2017 11:09 PM +00:00

Don't vote Republican.

Always a BAD idea.

--Your Aunt Maxine
replies 75Aug 18, 2017 11:24 PM +00:00

Read The Gift of Fear by Gavin De Becker. And then put his advice about learning to trust your instincts and follow them into practice, even if somebody gets offended or you make a scene.

Humans have survival instincts, just like other animals, but we've socialized ourselves into ignoring them for the most part (especially women, in the interest of being 'nice'). How many times have you watched one of those shows on Discovery ID where someone said, 'I got a bad feeling about the guy, but I went ahead and let him into the building/gave him a ride/kept talking to him etc etc...' That bad feeling was a warning. We must pay more attention to those kinds of feelings.

--Anonymous
replies 76Aug 18, 2017 11:29 PM +00:00

This won't save your life, but it could save a baby's: retinoblastoma often presents as a white pupil in flash photography.

garlandandpendant.files.wordpress.com
--Anonymous
replies 77Aug 18, 2017 11:44 PM +00:00

If you're ever being attacked or something like that, yell FIRE. This gets people's attention much more effectively than yelling HELP.

--Unless you're in a movie theater
replies 78Sep 4, 2017 9:39 AM +00:00

Wear a condom when one is HIV negative and hoovering cocks in one's ass in Berlin sex club cellars.

Do not stand up and yell "Jews for Jesus - the Prophet was a cock-sucking mother-fucker!" in a café in Gaza City.

Do not lick your lips and stare longingly into the eyes and ample crotches of white trash hotties on back road taverns in nowheresville.

--Anonymous
replies 79Sep 4, 2017 9:53 AM +00:00

Turn your side mirrors out till you can't see the side of your vehicle, which you don't need to see, but you can see a good amount of the lane next to yours, which you do need to see. Eliminates a lot of your blind spot.

Keep your headlights and taillights clean. It's surprising how much dust and bug guts cut down on their illumination.

Keep a blanket, rubber boots, water, a flashlight and energy bars in your vehicle. If you have one of those emergency kiss from AAA, check the expiration date, because it has one.

Get out your spare tire and Jack and learn how to use them on dry pavement when you have some extra time. You'll be glad you did when you have a flat at 3 am on a country road with no cell phone coverage.

If you have to drive on ice, slow down and stay off your brakes. Use your gas pedal, easing up and pressing down to control the vehicle. If you go into a skid, just keep the wheel pointed in the direction you wanted and let the car correct itself. Stay off the brakes. Same goes for wet pavement.

Never go hiking, even for an hour without a jacket, a lighter, water, compass, and a knife. I'd probably add a solar phone charger to the list.

Remember your phone will quit working when you need it most. Don't get too dependent.

--Anonymous
replies 80Sep 4, 2017 10:00 AM +00:00

r5, my dog would eat the entire amount in 15 minutes. Seriously.

--Anonymous
replies 81Sep 4, 2017 10:25 AM +00:00

Taking aspirin everyday is a bad idea, you might get gastric ulcers from it.

--Doc
replies 82Sep 4, 2017 11:01 AM +00:00

Both bleach and amonia are great cleaning solutions on their own, but you should never mix them. They react chemically and give off mustard gas, which is poisonous. Mustard gas was used in WWI.

en.m.wikipedia.org
--Anonymous
replies 83Sep 4, 2017 11:10 AM +00:00
R23: You can do the Heimlich maneuver on yourself ...

You can also do it using a chair.

--Anonymous
replies 84Sep 4, 2017 11:12 AM +00:00

Wear long sleeves and a protective mask when cleaning out the cellar. I was bit by a brown recluse and you do NOT want that happening to you. Mold spores can cause dangerous reactions. Don't eat white mushrooms in the woods.

--Anonymous
replies 85Sep 4, 2017 11:17 AM +00:00

If you encounter a shark while swimming, hit him on the snout with a hammer. They have sensitive noses and will swim away. Works for Moose, too.

--Anonymous
replies 86Sep 4, 2017 11:21 AM +00:00

R86 who the hell is going to have a hammer in the middle of the ocean?

--Anonymous
replies 87Sep 4, 2017 11:23 AM +00:00

Never leave your house and never answer your phone.

--Anonymous
replies 88Sep 4, 2017 11:23 AM +00:00

R87: Corollary: never go swimming without a hammer.

--Anonymous
replies 89Sep 4, 2017 11:27 AM +00:00

If you ever get your car stuck in a snowbank or stuck in the winter for whatever reason actually, get out and make sure that the entire area around the exhaust is clear of snow regularly. carbon monoxide will kill you as you run the heat in the car to stay warm.

--Anonymous
replies 90Sep 4, 2017 11:28 AM +00:00

What about hammerhead sharks, R89? Huh, what about them?

--screwdrivers, everywhere
replies 91Sep 4, 2017 11:28 AM +00:00

R87 "who...is going to have a hammer in...the ocean?"

Doesn't everyone?

--Anonymous
replies 92Sep 4, 2017 11:33 AM +00:00

Just punch them in the nose or gauge their eyes. Screwdrivers are best for gauging.

--Anonymous
replies 93Sep 4, 2017 11:36 AM +00:00
Therefore, my standard reply is always, "Yes. I'm doing absolutely NOTHING in order to enjoy the Gift of Time."

Bad idea. That makes you #1 on the list to call when a wheel falls off at work and someone needs to go in. Might I suggest you become a fan of camping? That way you're you're not a prick for not answering your phone, you're camping somewhere that has no reception. Just read the weather report before you go in on Monday.

--Anonymous
replies 94Sep 4, 2017 11:37 AM +00:00

If you go out alone, hiking, boating, or camping, always tell someone where you're going and when you're expected back.

--Anonymous
replies 95Sep 4, 2017 11:38 AM +00:00
Coral Snakes do not strike humans like rattlesnakes. copperheads, cobras, water moccasins, etc. They have to gnaw at you to break your skin - if you sit there and give them the time!

True-coral snakes are related to cobras, they don't have the more highly-developed venom delivery systems of vipers. They also don't have the heat-sensing organs that pit vipers do, pit vipers can "see" you even in the dark. A friend from India once told me that it isn't cobras that most people fear-it's the vipers, which probably kill many more people than cobras, but the cobra, because of it's lore and fearsome appearance, gets all the blame. Cobras will also sometimes give a warning bite, with no venom-my friend said many people he knew lived to tell of their cobra bites.

Mountain king snakes bear a resemblance to coral snakes, but are much larger. I've caught many in Yosemite in the dry rock beds in summertime. Admire, release-I would never take one from the park.

The Velvet Hammer, R87 (g)

www.californiaherps.com
--Anonymous
replies 96Sep 4, 2017 11:39 AM +00:00

A cold weather kit in the car is a good thing for everyone up north. A warm blanket, charged up cellphone, water, some food. I got stuck on the highway back in '78 and it was a long time before rescue after the gas tank ran dry.

--Anonymous
replies 97Sep 4, 2017 11:41 AM +00:00

When using a camper or a cabin somewhere remember that while natural gas is lighter than air and dissipates into the atmosphere, propane is heavier than air and sinks. Make sure you let the space ventilate a bit before lighting that propane heater or oven or whatever so you don't blow yourself up when you strike a match or even turn on electricity. Boats are especially dangerous since the bilge can fill and you might not smell it.

--Anonymous
replies 98Sep 4, 2017 11:43 AM +00:00

Hit 'em with a flower, do it every hour.

From Album ''Transformer'' 1973
YouTube
--It kept Lou Reed at bay..
replies 99Sep 4, 2017 11:45 AM +00:00

Do not engage deplorables for sanity's sake.

--Anonymous
replies 100Sep 4, 2017 11:46 AM +00:00

In the event of a nuclear attack : Don't run, Stay inside! Shelter in place and put as many walls and as much concrete, brick and soil, clothing etc. between you and the radioactive material outside.

--Anonymous
replies 101Sep 4, 2017 11:50 AM +00:00

Then kiss your ass goodbye.

--Anonymous
replies 102Sep 4, 2017 12:01 PM +00:00

In the event of a nuclear attack, you will die, quickly or slowly.

You will die.

--Anonymous
replies 103Sep 4, 2017 12:02 PM +00:00

Unless you like spending lots of time in the wilderness, or live in a very rural area, you're much more likely to be attacked by a human predator, than a snake.

If you are ever approached by a criminal who insists on taking you to another location, scream, fight and run. You are going to be robbed and killed, or robbed, raped, and killed.

Do not get in to a car with a criminal holding a gun to your head. If a criminal gets in to your car and tells you to drive while holding a gun or knife to you, crash the car in to a busy intersection, not at 100 mph, but hard enough that your airbags deploy. He will run.

--Anonymous
replies 104Sep 4, 2017 12:14 PM +00:00

Heavens to Betsy, R104. You're terrifying me.

--Anonymous
replies 105Sep 4, 2017 12:21 PM +00:00

If you live in an area that is prone to hurricanes, & the weather channel or meteorologists advise that the situation will become dangerous, evacuate your home early along with your pets. Duh!!

--Anonymous
replies 106Sep 4, 2017 12:22 PM +00:00

R105, I had to jump out of a moving car once. I know what I'm talking about, since I'm still here to talk about it, obviously.

--R104
replies 107Sep 4, 2017 12:25 PM +00:00

All you guys worried about snake bites and quick sand are most likely causing yourselves heart disease and cancer by eating meat, dairy, eggs and oil.

--Self righteous vegan
replies 108Sep 4, 2017 12:33 PM +00:00

This floatable hammer will protect you at the shore, or in the backyard pool.

Imgur: The most awesome images on the Internet.
Imgur
--Anonymous
replies 109Sep 4, 2017 12:33 PM +00:00

No concourse with snakes, period.

Venomous or not, they harbor no good will toward human beings.

--Anonymous
replies 110Sep 4, 2017 12:34 PM +00:00
R101: In the event of a nuclear attack : Don't run, Stay inside! Shelter in place and put as many walls and as much concrete, brick and soil, clothing etc. between you and the radioactive material outside.

I've heard that a cast iron tab (usually coated with porcelain) is a good place to hide. Bring your plastic hammer! I've also read that one should stand under a doorway, as they are structurally more sound than, say, the center of a room.

Don't look at the nuclear flash! You'll go blind!

--Anonymous
replies 111Sep 4, 2017 12:39 PM +00:00
R91, What about hammerhead sharks, [R89]? Huh, what about them?

Grab them by the tail and swing it at the other sharks.

--R91
replies 112Sep 4, 2017 12:42 PM +00:00

If you need to break a car window don't try the windshield, go for the outermost edge of the side windows. don't hit with something blunt, use something sharp.

--Anonymous
replies 113Sep 4, 2017 12:47 PM +00:00

Stare at the bright sun an hour a day (no sunglasses) and this will improve your eyesight.

--Eye Doctor
replies 114Sep 4, 2017 12:50 PM +00:00
R93: Just punch them in the nose or gauge their eyes. Screwdrivers are best for gauging.

You have to be careful that they don't chomp down in your hands while punching them.

Years ago I rented a place where there was a small window in the shower area. One cold winter morning, I was showering and realized the storm window was open, creating a draft. So, I raised the inside window to get at the storm window. I then grabbed the tabs on the aluminum storm window frame with both hands to lower the window, and my wet hands were immediately frozen to storm window. I felt like Flick in A Christmas Story. Then the hot water shut off, and I was pelted with cold water while stuck to the window. Eventually, I just had to rip my hands from the tabs, leaving skin prints.

Never showered again.

--Anonymous
replies 115Sep 4, 2017 12:53 PM +00:00

Make a tinfoil hat. You never know.

--Anonymous
replies 116Sep 4, 2017 1:12 PM +00:00

Years ago I was mugged in NO by two kids who said they had a gun (under a cloth one was holding ) and that I should go with them where they said. I was on a walkway near the perimeter of a park, and thought they would take me to an isolated spot, then what. So I faked, quite easily, a heart attack. They ran off. Not much later I tead about the wife of some ball player who faked illness when she was accosted, and scared off the,guy.

--Anonymous
replies 117Sep 4, 2017 1:15 PM +00:00

Especially if you live in a flood/hurricane prone area and you have pet dogs get a very secure water-resistant collar, especially if no local rabies dog tag is required by your town. Get an additional tag with your name, email, cellphone, address And VET etched on it. That is the best way to ensure you will locate your dog, even if it's found and relocated to a shelter out of state or in a remote in-state shelter.

Do so for your cats too, please.

If you have any pet bird species at all PLEASE relocate them with family, friends, a bird club or accomodating pet store/pet boarder well out of any hazard zone as far in advance as possible. Stress is the most problematic trigger for birds - it makes them quickly and easily subject to illnesses, viral and bacterial infections, pulmonary problems, etc that can kill them or seriously compromise their immune systems. And be sure to document your ownership, where they are, who they are with, the addresses of those individuals or companies, so they can be located once the crisis has passed. I strongly suggest micro-chips AND paperwork that you give to multiple trusted parties, as well as your own copies.

Do this with all pets.

--Anonymous
replies 118Sep 4, 2017 1:48 PM +00:00

A vegan diet prevents diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, and 70% of cancers.

You can even reverse diseases you already have by changing to a plant -based diet

--Anonymous
replies 119Sep 4, 2017 1:54 PM +00:00

R19, I'm probably one of the few DLers to agree with your good advice. Most others will comfort themselves with a Big Mac. And by saying that vegans should die in a grease fire.

--Anonymous
replies 120Sep 4, 2017 2:02 PM +00:00

R119, that is.

--R120

--Anonymous
replies 121Sep 4, 2017 2:03 PM +00:00

I used to be a legal secretary. Be suspicious of lawyers. Particularly the ones who claim to be so concerned with you and your issues. They work for themselves and not their clients. They are the ultimate sociopaths.

--PhillyChick
replies 122Sep 4, 2017 3:25 PM +00:00

Also, you have to investigate to make certain the lawyer knows what (s)he is talking about, which is difficult. There are a lot of incompetent lawyers around. Just because someone has a degree doesn't mean (s)he is smart.

--PhillyChick
replies 123Sep 4, 2017 3:28 PM +00:00

r122, I worked as support staff for 3 different NY biglaw films over the course of forty years. You are absolutely correct.

--Anonymous
replies 124Sep 4, 2017 3:31 PM +00:00

^ Firms, not films. But it's all about the show anyway.

--Anonymous
replies 125Sep 4, 2017 3:32 PM +00:00

Carry a whistle. People respond to the sound of a whistle over a cry for help.

--Anonymous
replies 126Sep 4, 2017 3:42 PM +00:00

R1, You're a hero!

My partner and I needed to take two cars into the city versus our usual one; we'd commuted together then. As we were getting into our respective cars for the drive to the city, my partner turned to smile at me, telling me he loved me (though only the left side of his face smiled at me).

As I followed him into the city, I'd noticed he kept driving onto the shoulder of the road. I telephoned him from my car to ask him what was happening to cause his driving so erratically, he said, "Issh, okay."

When we'd arrived in the city, he'd complained of a headache. Next stop: the ER.

Diagnosis: mild stroke due to undetected HBP.

Today: Mild paralysis of the left side.

"FAST"

--Anonymous
replies 127Sep 4, 2017 3:42 PM +00:00

Gardasil is pretty cheap. Get it now. It might save you from mouth, throat and anal cancer.

Always carry a sharp object with you to fend off an assailant or to perform an emergency tracheotomy on yourself or someone else should the Heimlich manoeuvre fail. Also, teach yourself how to trach someone.

Do not fend off an assailant by going for their throat as you might collapse the windpipe or sever the main artery, and kill them as a result. You will get jail time in most non-US countries for using too much force in defending yourself, let alone killing them. Rather, discombobulate the assailant by hitting them with the outer part of your fists on both sides of their head. Then call the authorities. While you're waiting for the law enforcement to arrive, use the sharp object you always carry with you to castrate the motherfucker so they won't ever pull that shit again.

And for god's sake, give diabetics some juice when they start spazzing out.

--Anonymous
replies 128Sep 4, 2017 4:13 PM +00:00

Always fasten your seatbelt when you get into your car, and remember - the life you save may be your own.

--Anonymous
replies 129Sep 4, 2017 4:27 PM +00:00

Here in NYC, there are PSAs encouraging people to carry Naloxone, in case they encounter someone who has ODed.

--Anonymous
replies 130Sep 4, 2017 4:29 PM +00:00

Fart if someone is trying to rape you.

--Anonymous
replies 131Sep 4, 2017 4:31 PM +00:00

Does anyone have any advice concerning memory loss?

R4 = R117

R59 = R130

--Anonymous
replies 132Sep 4, 2017 4:33 PM +00:00

Always carry a bottle of water, your car, your backpack, your handbag, your bike, etc. Though you may not need it at any given time, be assured somebody will, including pets.

--Anonymous
replies 133Sep 4, 2017 4:34 PM +00:00

The short story is I was being approached by two guys who were clearly going to try to mug me. I didn't have a clear escape route, so, I unzipped my winter coat, put my hand inside the coat where I imagined a gun holster might be. I don't own one and had to guess. The two guys wobbled and then changed direction and walked away.

I figured that I might get murdered, but I wasn't.

--Anonymous
replies 134Sep 4, 2017 4:37 PM +00:00

Do not mix Tylenol with alcohol, ever. Do not mix Tylenol with other acetaminophen containing meds like Norco, etc. The recommended daily limit for Tylenol listed on the bottle is probably too high for a lot of people, especially if you're taking it for days. Just be safe and toss all the Tylenol from your house and use basically any other OTC pain killer.

I work in a liver transplant hospital and Tylenol is nasty shit.

--Anonymous
replies 135Sep 4, 2017 4:40 PM +00:00

I had my locker opened at the gym once. They took a credit card and replaced my wallet, but they put the wallet in the wrong pants pocket, so I knew immediately. Apparently there are gangs that cruse locker rooms to steal wallets. They hand the wallet off to someone else, who runs to a store to buy stuff. Mine when to Hermes. I called the store and the thieves had just made a purchase a minute before.

So, don't let anyone stand too lose when you use a combo lock in public.

--Anonymous
replies 136Sep 4, 2017 4:42 PM +00:00

I used to have to visit the Chicago housing projects back in the early 1980's, and as a skinny white kid in his 20's I stood out.

The best piece of advice I got was to always either wear a loose jacket or go around with my shirt untucked. That way people would assume I had a gun. I don't know if it was because of that advice, but I never had a moment's trouble in the two years I did it.

--Anonymous
replies 137Sep 4, 2017 4:43 PM +00:00

Please stop posting pictures of snakes!

--Anonymous
replies 138Sep 4, 2017 4:44 PM +00:00

Moose, donkeys, horses, zebras, and giraffes all have a mean kick.

--Anonymous
replies 139Sep 4, 2017 4:49 PM +00:00

Oops, as do kangaroos.

--Anonymous
replies 140Sep 4, 2017 4:49 PM +00:00

Thanks, R135. When I read somewhere, a few years ago, how even slightly exceeding the "recommended" dose can be harmful, I swore off. Of course Ibuprofen can have its own side effects.

--Anonymous
replies 141Sep 4, 2017 4:51 PM +00:00
I work in a liver transplant hospital and Tylenol is nasty shit.

Let me add that this is especially true for people with Hep C, a silent disease that a surprising number of boomers have but may not be aware of. (Get tested! There is a treatment although it is expensive af.)

Other things to avoid if you like your liver and want to keep it: mystery mushrooms, Kava, Green Tea Extract capsules, and other "herbal remedies" particularly if you are mixing them with known hepatotoxins like booze or acetaminophen or other prescription meds that are metabolized via the liver. Check your medicine cabinet for multi-drug "cold remedies" that often contain Tylenol.

--R135
replies 142Sep 4, 2017 4:58 PM +00:00

Doctors don't always know best, for example: Years ago I was an accountant with a nationally recognized health care organization. One morning on my way to the office, I rolled my ankle and had to see a doc due to the intense pain. Upon assessing my injury, he'd advised me to take two weeks off of work and take 6 to 8 Advils per day, as pain/mobility dictate.

I returned to my place or work; my manager asked about my prognosis: "The doctor wants me to take two weeks off of work so he can poison me with Advil."

--Anonymous
replies 143Sep 4, 2017 4:58 PM +00:00

R135, someone who works in pharm industry told me he thinks the FDA wouldn't approve Tylenol if it were up for review today. He said it's very dangerous. I think many suicides in Europe use Tylenol.

--Anonymous
replies 144Sep 4, 2017 5:01 PM +00:00

If you meet a woman who is gaining weight in the tummy: unless you can spot a baby actually exiting her vagina, DO NOT ask her if she's pregnant.

The life you save may be your own.

--Anonymous
replies 145Sep 4, 2017 5:04 PM +00:00
I think many suicides in Europe use Tylenol.

Suicide by Tylenol is a terrible way to die. Your liver shuts down, causing your coagulation factors to be so wack that you can start spontaneously hemorrhaging. At the same time, your brain starts to swell until it "herniates," pushing the brainstem down through the bony opening for the spinal column. If you are found before you die and you land in a hospital, you may have the pleasure of a bolt being screwed into your skull to monitor the pressure, if you aren't bleeding out of your ass, you will be given liter size enemas of a medication to correct your ammonia level; and you won't be given any narcotics... until you die or you get a transplant, if one can be found. Fun, right?

someone who works in pharm industry told me he thinks the FDA wouldn't approve Tylenol if it were up for review today.

It would under Trump.

--Anonymous
replies 146Sep 4, 2017 5:14 PM +00:00

Tylenol is also sometimes combined with a narcotic, like Percocet, in a single pill. You might not even know you're ingesting Tylenol.

--Anonymous
replies 147Sep 4, 2017 5:21 PM +00:00

Long-time inner-city commuter, here: whatever you do, DO NOT make eye contact, with anybody! Doing so may be perceived as a challenge or as an act of aggression.

--Anonymous
replies 148Sep 4, 2017 5:29 PM +00:00
You can even reverse diseases you already have by changing to a plant -based diet

Yeah, but what's the point of living if you can't eat meat?

--delicious, delicious meat
replies 149Sep 4, 2017 6:27 PM +00:00

If you are "working-class" or "middle-class" and you vote Republican, you are dumber than dirt.

They don't care about you.

At the least.

--They actually despise you
replies 150Sep 4, 2017 6:31 PM +00:00

I think everybody knows that if you think you're having a heart attack, you should call 911 and then immediately take an aspirin.

But did you know you should CHEW the aspirin?

--Anonymous
replies 151Sep 4, 2017 6:37 PM +00:00

THE SPAZ TROLL WILL ALWAYS ALERT YOU TO HIS PRESENCE ON A THREAD BY MENTIONING HARRY STYLES.

IGNORE THIS ADVICE AT YOUR ABSOLUTE PERIL.

--Anonymous
replies 152Sep 4, 2017 6:40 PM +00:00

R149, a serious question. As you may know, there are some labs working on a way to "grow" meat that would not come from an animal, but would taste the same and be the same chemically. If this were successful, would you eat that?

--Anonymous
replies 153Sep 4, 2017 6:40 PM +00:00

Quorn tastes the same as chicken already.

But some people just relish the idea of eating corpses and they ain't gonna change.

--Anonymous
replies 154Sep 4, 2017 6:43 PM +00:00

R148, or as a come on if you look even a tiny little bit gay, which we all do, let's face it.

--Anonymous
replies 155Sep 4, 2017 6:44 PM +00:00

Don't drink coke which has been left out in the hot sun on the beach, as it will mutate into cyanide as the temperature rises.

--Anonymous
replies 156Sep 4, 2017 6:45 PM +00:00

A Xanax (or any benzo) addiction is harder to break than a heroin or crack addiction and takes way longer.

Don't let your doctor prescribe you benzos.

--Anonymous
replies 157Sep 4, 2017 6:47 PM +00:00

When picking a dog, avoid the hairless breeds like bulldogs, pitbulls, staffies, rotties etc as these are way more prone to canine dementia and thus far more likely to attack and kill you at some point down the line.

--Anonymous
replies 158Sep 4, 2017 6:48 PM +00:00

Get your liver and kidney function, glucose and cholesterol tested every six months.

--Anonymous
replies 159Sep 4, 2017 7:12 PM +00:00

Here is my contribution....if you have a cat which has started to spray urine in your house, you can give it a low dose of Prozac once a week and it will work to break the habit. It is not toxic. The number one cause of cats being surrendered to shelters is urine spraying; don't give up on yours.

--Anonymous
replies 160Sep 4, 2017 7:14 PM +00:00

I don't thing that's the number one cause of surrendering pussy but ok I'll go with it R160

--Anonymous
replies 161Sep 4, 2017 7:31 PM +00:00

Be aware of your surroundings at all times . Do a 360 turn ever so often while walking or shopping. Does a person you see suddenly look away, or down . Go to another asile and see if that person follows you. If you see the same person in different store areas, you might be being stalked . Stay with a group and if that's not possible ask a security guard to escort you to your car . Never leave the store alone if you have a bad intuition, trust it. It's called survival instinct.

--Anonymous
replies 162Sep 4, 2017 8:40 PM +00:00

Avoid people from trashy families. They're usually sociopaths and will envy you if you come from a somewhat loving home.

--Anonymous
replies 163Sep 4, 2017 10:20 PM +00:00

If you're about to be raped, tell your rapist that you have AIDS. It's worked for a few people.

--Anonymous
replies 164Sep 4, 2017 10:21 PM +00:00

Yikes, R164. I think I'd rather be raped than have someone beat the shit out of me.

--Anonymous
replies 165Sep 4, 2017 10:22 PM +00:00

R157 you are talking out of your ass! YOU ASS!

No way is any addiction on this earth, including meth worse than a crack addiction. Heroin and benz are beatable.

NOT CRACK.

ONCE YOU CRACK YOU AIN'T EVER COMING BACK!

--Anonymous
replies 166Sep 4, 2017 10:23 PM +00:00

R163,Thanks, Ivanka.

R164, sounds valid, but I may have heard of someone who tried that, and the attacker was so enraged that he hurt her.

--We're not talking about rational people
replies 167Sep 4, 2017 10:25 PM +00:00

Drop that cookie honey, and also that lemon bar in your pocket. Thought I didn't see it, didn't ya?

You're welcome for saving you from diabetes and a lifetime of misery from being obese..

--Anonymous
replies 168Sep 4, 2017 10:25 PM +00:00

R156, really? Come on. Cyanide? If it were true people would use it to murder others. God are you a jackass.

--Anonymous
replies 169Sep 4, 2017 10:27 PM +00:00

R156, Someone left YOU out in the hot sun for too long.

--Anonymous
replies 170Sep 4, 2017 10:33 PM +00:00

R168 has a weight problem and is projecting. Why would any normal person speak of snacks unless they were a fatso themselves?

--Anonymous
replies 171Sep 4, 2017 10:55 PM +00:00

Such a telling thread. Wow. Just wow.

--Anonymous
replies 172Sep 4, 2017 10:58 PM +00:00

In my vast experience, a white rich guy is safe in any neighbourhood in Cairo but should never ever drink juice or eat street food.

--Anonymous
replies 173Sep 4, 2017 11:17 PM +00:00

R172, would you expatiate?

--Anonymous
replies 174Sep 4, 2017 11:35 PM +00:00

No matter how broke or old and desperate you are, don't eat commercial dog food, It almost always includes bone fragments and other things dogs can digest but humans can't. Beg from pantries, your neighbors, on the street, anything but commercial dog food. Don't do it. You too broke millennials.

--Eldergay on SS and tiny pension
replies 175Sep 4, 2017 11:52 PM +00:00

Never take anti-depressants and codeine on the same day. Over a short period the amount of seratonin in your body can reach toxic levels. You might live through the experience but it won't be pleasant.

--Anonymous
replies 176Sep 5, 2017 12:03 AM +00:00

Anti-depressants and codeine sound wonderful. Remember we're just trying to get through one day to the next. And Tallulah's very last words on her hospital deathbed were allegedly " bourbon.... codeine...."

--Anonymous
replies 177Sep 5, 2017 12:14 AM +00:00

Some great but scary warnings in this thread!

--Anonymous
replies 178Sep 5, 2017 12:18 AM +00:00
Do a 360 turn ever so often while walking or shopping. Does a person you see suddenly look away, or down . Go to another asile and see if that person follows you.

You mean a pirouette? This could be especially charming in a tutu, up and down the Walmart aisles.

--Anonymous
replies 179Sep 5, 2017 2:02 AM +00:00

Never approach a wild animal as if it wants to be photographed and displayed on your Instagram. I saw an idiot chase, and then get chased, by a moose. If this does happen to you, then find a tree or rock and get down, fast. Never, ever try to outrun them.

--Anonymous
replies 180Sep 5, 2017 6:17 AM +00:00

Additionally, to evade a moose, run in a zig zag pattern and hide behind a tree or something. They're not that smart.

--Anonymous
replies 181Sep 5, 2017 6:20 AM +00:00

Has nothing to do with intelligence, R181. They don't see very well.

--Anonymous
replies 182Sep 5, 2017 6:22 AM +00:00

R181, true, Moose aren't very smart, but they are good with languages. R182, My Moose uses reading glasses but doesn't need them for driving. He's not a very good driver, though.

--FOCM
replies 183Sep 5, 2017 12:19 PM +00:00

Now Squirrel? That bitch can fly. Try getting away from that. Squirrels will rule the earth when we are gone. There's another something to help spare you some great harm: never get friendly with a squirrel. It will bite you, at the very least, and rip your face off.

--Anonymous
replies 184Sep 5, 2017 12:22 PM +00:00

Fast men can outrun:

Elephantt25.00

Black mamba snaket20.00

Six-lined race runnert18.00

Squirrelt12.00

Pig (domestic)t11.00

Chickent9.00

House mouset8.00

Spider (Tegenearia atrica)t1.17

Giant tortoiset0.17

Three-toed slotht0.15

Garden snailt0.03

--Anonymous
replies 185Sep 5, 2017 12:27 PM +00:00

If a hurricane is coming, grab your family and pets and get the hell out of there!

If a flood is coming, grab your family and pets and get the hell out of there!

If a wildfire is coming, grab your family and pets and get the hell out of there!

If a tornado is coming, grab your family and pets and get the hell out of there!

If a Republican is coming, grab your family and pets and get the hell out of there!

--If an earthquake hits, get out of the building or stand in a doorway.
replies 186Sep 5, 2017 12:30 PM +00:00

Hide in case of mudslide.

--Anonymous
replies 187Sep 5, 2017 12:31 PM +00:00

NEVER give an abuser a second chance. It always escalates. Make a plan and leave as soon as possible. Don't tell them. Let someone know what is happening.

--Anonymous
replies 188Sep 5, 2017 12:33 PM +00:00

NOW he tells me.

--Mel. T
replies 189Sep 5, 2017 12:37 PM +00:00

If a cop is acting unstable call 911 immediately and let the dispatcher know. Usually nips it in the bud. Because if cop is doing it to you he's done it to others.

--Anonymous
replies 190Sep 5, 2017 12:37 PM +00:00

Flares can save your life in a breakdown on a busy highway. Use it.

--Anonymous
replies 191Sep 5, 2017 12:39 PM +00:00

So venomous snakes have a round pupil...no, a round head and a triangular. ..no, the nonvenomous have a triangular head and a slit....uh.....the venomous have the triangular...uh...

--Anonymous
replies 192Sep 5, 2017 12:58 PM +00:00

Right, R192.

--Anonymous
replies 193Sep 5, 2017 1:13 PM +00:00

Carry a mongoose with you and you're safe from snakes.

--Anonymous
replies 194Sep 5, 2017 1:15 PM +00:00

Got it: hammer for sharks, mongoose for snakes. What type of bag will be appropriate? Can I take the mongoose with me on planes? How long a hammer do I need?

--Anonymous
replies 195Sep 5, 2017 1:17 PM +00:00

R194, Are you safe from the mongoose?

--Anonymous
replies 196Sep 5, 2017 1:18 PM +00:00

just call it a service mongoose. if there are any mother fucking snakes on the mother fucking plane, it'll perform its service

--Anonymous
replies 197Sep 5, 2017 1:20 PM +00:00

Never fly stand by. It could save your life.

--Anonymous
replies 198Sep 5, 2017 1:33 PM +00:00

If the snake is close enough for you to see its eyes, you are too close.

--Anonymous
replies 199Sep 5, 2017 1:37 PM +00:00

If you don't already know what it is learn to identify Greater Plantain. It grows almost anywhere it can get a foothold. It is reviled as a major weed here in the US. It grows throughout the US and Europe. However, if you're lost and need to forage for food you can eat its leaves. Or make fishing line or cord for other uses from the very tough veins of the leaves.

If you get an insect sting (bees, hornets, etc. especially) or a cut or open wound you can apply a poultice of leaves to the area to reduce inflammation and help it heal. You just need to pound the leaves with a rock or chew them a little to release the plant juices. It really works, especially if you're nowhere near any other bee sting antidotes or disinfectants for cuts, etc.

You can also use a mud poultice on a bee sting in an emergency. My first childhood sting was from a bumblebee and the older kids with me made mud and applied it. It drew out the stinger and reduced swelling and pain immediately.

en.m.wikipedia.org
--Anonymous
replies 200Sep 5, 2017 1:54 PM +00:00

Kill all mosquitoes because you can't afford the treatment for Nile or EEE with the ACA. Sunscreen or cover up at the beach because skin cancer is no joke. Watch the health of your teeth. Mouth infections can result in serious blood poisoning that can kill you!

--Anonymous
replies 201Sep 5, 2017 1:58 PM +00:00

Another great North American plant is Jewelweed, also called Touch-Me-Not among other common names. It is an immediate antidote to the toxic poison-ivy. Conveniently they very often grow alongside or fairly close to one another. If you touch or brush up against poison ivy just crush the very liquid filled stems and their leaves in your hands and rub them all over the affected area. It neutralises the irritating ivy toxins. If a poison ivy rash has started make a tea of the leaves, boil a bit in water, and apply the cool liquid to the rash. It will help dry up the rash very quickly.

Jewelweed and greater plantain also does this for nettle stings!

en.m.wikipedia.org
--Anonymous
replies 202Sep 5, 2017 2:17 PM +00:00

If you're getting gangbanged, DON'T look back. It's much better that way.

Many of you will thank me for this advice someday.

--Anonymous
replies 203Sep 5, 2017 2:29 PM +00:00

If you live in a place subject to tornadoes, make sure you know, ahead of time, where any safe places are located. Some trailer parks have tornado shelters: if yours doesn't (insert DL nasty joke here), be sure you know of a permanent structure where you can shelter. If you're in a high-rise, move to the innermost hallways. In a home, head to the basement, or whatever room is farthest from the perimeter. If you're on the road, DON'T hide under an overpass. Crouch as low as possible in a ditch, and cover your head: get as far away from your car as possible, so it isn't dropped on top of you. If you have pets, put them in their carriers, and keep them in them, and with you. If you're at home, make sure you have your shoes on, and if you have any kind of helmet (like a bike helmet or a football helmet), but it on right away. Tornadoes are real threats in many areas. I have no fear of snakes, and I'm arachnophobic, but I know what a venomous spider looks like.

--Anonymous
replies 204Sep 5, 2017 4:13 PM +00:00

IF YOUR AREA CURRENTLY HAS A MANDATORY EVACUATION ORDER, FUCKING EVACUATE!!!

DO NOT HOLE UP AND PARTY LIKE THE SPAZZY SURFER COMMUNITY ON FLORIDA KEYS IS DOING RIGHT NOW

IRMA IS THE MOST POWERFUL STORM THE ATLANTIC HAS EVER SEEN

YOU WILL BE SMASHED INTO SMITHEREENS AND DIE HORRIBLY

--Anonymous
replies 205Sep 5, 2017 4:17 PM +00:00

In an emergency shut off the water valve. Your water heater will be full of clean uncontaminated water that you can drain as needed.

--Anonymous
replies 206Sep 5, 2017 4:19 PM +00:00

I've verified. The mongoose is a good egg and will make a fine comfort animal. It's not affiliated with the Mongolian Goose.

Among Hawaii’s imports is the Small Asian Mongoose—a species of Southeast Asia’s Rikki Tikki Tavi that was shipped to Hawaii in 1872.
Haleakala Bike Co.
--Anonymous
replies 207Sep 5, 2017 4:26 PM +00:00
R198: Never fly stand by. It could save your life.

Why, dear?

--Anonymous
replies 208Sep 5, 2017 4:27 PM +00:00

R198 didn't punctuate correctly. It's :

Never fly. Stand by. It could save your life.

--Anonymous
replies 209Sep 5, 2017 4:37 PM +00:00

Get the hell out of Florida before the hurricane hits!

--Anonymous
replies 210Sep 5, 2017 5:36 PM +00:00

The mongoose is a bitey creature which isn't tame, it will attack you and the snake. People act as if they're kittens or bunnies and can be dragged around harmlessly. Nope.

--Anonymous
replies 211Sep 5, 2017 5:40 PM +00:00

If you are leaving town for more than a few days, turn off the water to your house. That way, if a pipe bursts while you're gone, the house won't flood.

Turmeric is a natural blood thinner. If you're already taking blood thinners you may need to avoid it. Cinnamon and pepper both help even out your blood sugar.

Two things that are good to carry with you in case of emergency are glucose tablets, which are good for diabetics when their blood sugar drops, or can be used if you're stuck in the car without food for a long time.

Another good thing to carry is a packet of Celox, which is good if a family member takes blood thinners like Warfarin because they can bleed a lot if they are cut. It can also be used in case of a serious bleeding injury. It fits in your wallet and is available at medical supply stores. Just tell them you have a relative that takes blood thinners if they ask. Celox is better than Quick Clot because:

Q: What is the main difference between QuickClot brand & Celox brand? A: Three main differences are...#1 - QuickClot will require wound debridement, Celox does not. #2 - QuickClot is exothermic which can cause additional damage, Celox is not. #3 - QuickClot does not work with hypothermic blood, Celox does!

Live Action Safety - Quality emergency supplies and equipment. Extensive selection of medical supplies for Diabetic supplies to defibrillation devices.
LiveActionSafety
--Anonymous
replies 212Sep 5, 2017 7:06 PM +00:00

So funny, all these wild animal and disaster warnings. You know the majority of you are going to die while slipping on a sex toy in your tub.

--Anonymous
replies 213Sep 5, 2017 7:12 PM +00:00
If you are leaving town for more than a few days, turn off the water to your house. That way, if a pipe bursts while you're gone, the house won't flood.

Good advice. If nothing else don't forget to change the hose to your washing machine every few years. If that sucker bursts, you're screwed.

A friend had a pipe break while on vacation, and even though the basement had a drain, the water department said that according to the meter almost 38,000 gallons of water went into his basement while he was away.

--Anonymous
replies 214Sep 5, 2017 7:44 PM +00:00

Before going away for more than a few days, freeze a glass of water. Then put a quarter on top of the frozen water, and put the glass back in the freezer. When you return home, the quarter should still be on top. If it's on the bottom of the frozen water, that means that you lost power and your freezer contents warmed to room temperature, and your frozen food has probably spoiled and should be discarded.

I heard this decades ago and have never actually done this, myself.

--Anonymous
replies 215Sep 5, 2017 8:11 PM +00:00

R215, yes, I've seen that dozens of times as meme/clickbait/stupid hack on social media.

You'd think people would be able to tell by the melted/then re-frozen shape of things. Plus, your fridge reeks even after the power goes back on.

--Anonymous
replies 216Sep 5, 2017 8:13 PM +00:00

Never use acetaminophen as a hangover cure and never use it at all if you are a regular drinker. It will kill your liver.

--Anonymous
replies 217Sep 5, 2017 8:24 PM +00:00

There are vacancies for Hep A and for Hep B. Gays have an elivated risk of Hep B. The vaccine is much nicer to get than the diseases.

--Anonymous
replies 218Sep 5, 2017 8:31 PM +00:00

If you are prone to panic attacks and are not able to get them under control by other means, carry around 5 mg of Valium to use when a panic attack strikes. DO NOT take them regularly as a preventative as they are horribly addictive.

--Anonymous
replies 219Sep 5, 2017 9:45 PM +00:00

Good luck getting a valium script, but yes, taking a valium is helpful when suffering from nasty drug-drug interactions such as opioids+anti-depressants. Do not take valium with booze unless you want a quick trip to the Valley of the Dolls.

--Anonymous
replies 220Sep 5, 2017 10:05 PM +00:00

Don't admit hating "YouTube Star!" Mark E Miller, or a raving meth head will bite your face off.

No seriously I see pretty much everyone on here hate him. I never seen the reasons why
the DataLounge
--Anonymous
replies 221Sep 5, 2017 10:06 PM +00:00

R221 made me laugh.

--Anonymous
replies 222Sep 5, 2017 10:09 PM +00:00

R220, A one-way trip to the valley.

Wouldn't taking valium on top of opiods and anti-depressants be dangerous?

--Anonymous
replies 223Sep 5, 2017 10:12 PM +00:00

Thanks 202. In case my northern white genes change do to age and hormonal balance. Proud to be not allergic to poison ivy like the rest of the riff raff.

--Anonymous
replies 224Sep 5, 2017 10:45 PM +00:00

Spoken like a true Spic, wait no. SPICENSIE

--Anonymous
replies 225Sep 5, 2017 10:54 PM +00:00

R220 sometimes even doctors mistakenly prescribe opioids and anti-depressants together, which can result in something called Saratonin Syndrome, a toxic level of seratonin which can be fatal. Stupid doctors to do that! AFAIK a trip to emergency is the right response. It is possible they will give a valium to calm down shaking muscles.

--Anonymous
replies 226Sep 5, 2017 11:27 PM +00:00

I am in Europe and diazapam is what is prescribed for panic attacks. Sounds like they use different meds n the US. Same principle, though - deal with your panic attacks as they occur, learn to control them, and do not take anti-anxiety meds as a means of prevention.

--Anonymous
replies 227Sep 5, 2017 11:28 PM +00:00

R226, Some years ago in NYC there was a famous case of a young woman, Libby Zion, who was given some med at an ER that put her into a fatal SS. The doctor didn't know she was already on some kind of similar med. Her father was a journalist and started a campaign to change ER practices in regard to meds prescribed.

--Anonymous
replies 228Sep 5, 2017 11:52 PM +00:00

Keep Benadryl in your medicine cabinet and in your car. You never know when someone (maybe you) discovers an unknown food allergy or insect sting. It's not as effective as an Epipen, but can buy you enough time to get help.

--Anonymous
replies 229Sep 6, 2017 12:53 AM +00:00

Here's some advice If you're in the path of a hurricane:

If you vote GOP, stop reading now and die.

1. Start running your ice makers now and bagging the ice in freezer bags. Fill as much space in between your freezer items as you can.

2. Freeze regular tap water for pets, cleaning or drinking in tupperware-type containers. REMEMBER to leave a small bit of space between the top of the water & the lids so the ice expands but doesn't crack the container.

3. Start using up your perishables to make more room for ice in the freezer.

4. Fill up all vehicles & check tires & oil.

5. Cash from ATM, at least enough to get you through tolls and gas out of town. Call your bank if you plan on leaving the state so they don't freeze your card for out-of-area "suspicious" transactions.

6. All important docs screenshot & send to your email. Take originals in sealed bags or plastic bins.

7. Pet & livestock food & supplies. Vet records in case you need to shelter then at a storm-safe facility.

8. Evacuation plans and share with family members so they know where you're headed.

9. Consider putting heirlooms & photos in plastic bins in a high place, second floor, or safe room if you don't plan on taking them with you.

10. SECURE ALL FIREARMS & AMMUNITION PROPERLY.

11. Old rags & beach towels on your windowsills. Even with the best windows & shutters, water seeping from the wind pressure happens. A few damp towels is better than soaked drywall or floors!

12. Shutter windows and doors and bring everything outside into your garage or house NOW. Do not wait until the day before. Better to get done early and relax than wait until its too late, ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE MANDATORY PERSONNEL (hospital employee or first responder).

13. If you don't already have your hurricane supplies, you might want to get them now. Shelves are already empty in most places.

14. If you have special needs call 311 and register

15. Have a bucket in the bathroom & fill the tub. Use this water & bucket for flushing.

16. Walk pets during the calm that comes during the eye of the storm.

17. Charge your phone & keep it charged. A car charger is handy for when you lose electricity.

18. Do your laundry now. Everything gets dirty during the clean up & aftermath. You can't wash clothes w/o electricity.

--Anonymous
replies 230Sep 6, 2017 3:50 AM +00:00

r28 "Purple and blue, good for you."

Well, my brother almost died when he was six from eating Pokeberries which are purple/bluish in color.

www.poison.org
--so much for that ditty
replies 231Sep 6, 2017 5:37 AM +00:00
Keep Benadryl in your medicine cabinet and in your car. You never know when someone (maybe you) discovers an unknown food allergy or insect sting. It's not as effective as an Epipen, but can buy you enough time to get help.

Pro-tip: Get the Benadryl elixir. If someone has an anaphylactic reaction, their throat will start to close and liquid will be easier to swallow than a pill.

--Anonymous
replies 232Sep 6, 2017 5:57 AM +00:00

You can charge your phone with a battery, a key, and one of those car charger adapters:

“For the people who lights off & need to charge their phones ?? https://t.co/cJBEcXFNlh”
Twitter
--Anonymous
replies 233Sep 6, 2017 5:58 AM +00:00

To expand on R230 a little bit:

5. Every time you travel out of state, phone the bank before you leave. The first time you go to a restaurant or buy gas in the new state, those fuckers will freeze your ATM card and you'll be stranded without money. I've called them while on a trip, they've said they're unfreezing my card, and then it still doesn't work. I had to scrape a few bills out of the bottom of my car to get gas to get home. Always carry enough cash on a car trip for a motel room and gas home. Include extra for the cash deposit they make you pay in case you trash the room.

Also, hackers now put some sort of hacking device on outside gas station ATM payment devices that scans your card information and takes your pin code. If you're buying gas at freeway stops frequented by travelers, pay cash inside. That wil stop your card from being hacked. It happened to me, and a banker said this was more common than people realize.

9. Plastic bins aren't water tight. Put the stuff inside in a thick black outdoor garbage bag and tie a knot in the top. Or put it in two bags, one inside the other, with knots in each, especially if it's papers.

--Not R230
replies 234Sep 6, 2017 6:10 AM +00:00

If your mongoose gets bitey, give it a double dose of Tylenol. End of problem!

--Anonymous
replies 235Sep 6, 2017 6:48 AM +00:00

R233, cool video.

--Anonymous
replies 236Sep 6, 2017 6:55 AM +00:00

Keep a Sharpie handy if you can't evacuate the path of a hurricane. Write your name and a relative's phone number on your arm.

--Anonymous
replies 237Sep 6, 2017 7:01 AM +00:00

Pull up the head rest in your vehicle so it will come in contact with the middle of the back of your head in case you ever rear ended. You just don't realize how easy it is to get whiplash and how bad it hurts.

--Anonymous
replies 238Sep 6, 2017 9:55 AM +00:00

Always always always wear your seatbelt during a flight. Radical Weather events are here to stay.

Also keep your shoes on during take off and landing, the aircraft engines are either developing or decelerating power and are most vulnerable for a rejected takeoff or landing. The industry is so highly trained for safety now it is unlikely to be an issue - BUT is something does "go wrong" you dont want to be evacuating through hot aluminum in your socks.

--Anonymous
replies 239Sep 6, 2017 10:03 AM +00:00
don't forget to change the hose to your washing machine every few years.

or you could just buy the steel reinforced hoses.

www.homedepot.com
--Anonymous
replies 240Sep 6, 2017 10:03 AM +00:00

The corrosion happens at the connectors, not the middle, R240. Check your washing machine, toilet and sink hoses with a flashlight every few months. If you see green verdigris or rust that means there's a slow leak and it needs to be changed. If you are in a hard water area be very diligent about this, you can prevent a flood on your house.

--Had a $30,000 flood in my house.
replies 241Sep 6, 2017 10:09 AM +00:00

What the hell is in your water R241? I had steel reinforced hoses in my old house for 25 years with zero problems or corrosion.

--Anonymous
replies 242Sep 6, 2017 10:12 AM +00:00

R240, I just replaced my clothes washer water hoses, after 20 years. They were steel hoses, but inside them are rubber washers that do wear. I'd recommend replacement every 5 years, though I won't do mine again, ever. Haha.

--Anonymous
replies 243Sep 6, 2017 10:31 AM +00:00

If you're going camping or hiking and you get lost, a small pocket mirror could save your life. Us it to flash the sun at planes or helicopters that may be searching for you.

www.nicepricefavors.com
--Anonymous
replies 244Sep 6, 2017 10:58 AM +00:00

Own a cat. Train it to guard your house when you go away. Mine just killed a copperhead snake in the house and left it as a gift near the kitchen table while we were gone for 2 weeks.

--Snake phobe.
replies 245Sep 6, 2017 11:15 AM +00:00

Cool cat, R245!

--Anonymous
replies 246Sep 6, 2017 12:01 PM +00:00

R245, just how big is that cat?

--Anonymous
replies 247Sep 6, 2017 12:35 PM +00:00

R245, is that poor snake all it had to eat, while it was "guarding" your house?

--Anonymous
replies 248Sep 6, 2017 1:56 PM +00:00

r127 - did r1 post really help you and you hubby? Or just DL sarcasm?

--Anonymous
replies 249Sep 6, 2017 5:28 PM +00:00

R128, If you are defending yourself, and kill the attacker while doing so, how were you supposed to know just the right amount of force to use to only disable? That someone could be prosecuted for that is nuts. If that doesn't apply in the US, that's one thing the country has right, at least.

--Anonymous
replies 250Sep 6, 2017 6:48 PM +00:00

NSAIDS like Motrin and Aleve are ototoxic...meaning if you gobble them like candy you can damage your hearing, and/or develop tinnitus.

So Tylenol is bad for your liver and NSAIDS are bad for your stomach and ears. Are there any safe pain meds left?

--Anonymous
replies 251Sep 6, 2017 7:35 PM +00:00
You can't wash clothes w/o electricity.

You've obviously never used a washboard and elbow grease, millennial.

--Anonymous
replies 252Sep 6, 2017 8:43 PM +00:00