Real Housewives of the Data Lounge

Dat's da suck job!

These bitches don't scare me- they should see the bitches I have always trying to kill me!

[bold] TEACAKE [/bold]

"I'm concerned about global warming; that's why I'm always throwing shade."

A littlelight in the loafers, but my caftan-lift brings all the boys to the yard.

This is the most nourishing thing I’m going to have all week.

[bold] GREG [/bold]

"Boston may be known for tea parties, but I prefer gin."

Earrings. Caftan.

R6, Excellent Greg!

“I may smoke weed, but I still have high standards.”

"I hate everything"

I’m loose in the anus and loose with the facts.

R11 Marge, go home! No one wants your stale ass peach!

Just because you dial a phone with a pencil doesn’t mean you’ve got my number.

I have a great ass AND I’ll live on forever.

I’m alot, theirs no denying it. When I walk in a room everyone says, “Oh, dear!”

Are they RESCUE BEGAL KITTENS???

I have 50 years of experience, but I only look 32.

MARY! MARY! I’m QUITE contrary!

I may lift my caftan, but I’ll never lower my expectations.

Farrah, you’re from Council Bluffs. No one wants your ass.

I may act shocked, but I’m the one who sets the grease fires.

You say Trolldar, I say Troll-Darling.

At 24 I was too hot to be believed. But look at me now, I’m too smart to be deceived.

When they go low, my pussy really stinks!

You can read me for what I wrote, but in my life, there’s always another chapter.

When you carry the full weight of the Truth, haters will always say you type fat.

My pork chop is raw, all I need is a man to make it seared and sizzled.

If the world is a V-Bone, I just want to kick it!

[quote]Real Housewives of the Data Lounge

Nothing is real on the Data Lounge.

I’ll never let a little problem stand in the way of my big dreams.

[bold] GREG [/bold]

“I like my martinis dry, and plums even drier. Holla!”

Miss Faye Dunaway can slap me all she wants, I’ll always be a little homosexual boy!

I want to attend one of Greg’s Boston Tea Parties. Will we be dumping prunes into the bay?

[quote] I want to attend one of Greg’s Boston Tea Parties. Will we be dumping prunes into the bay?

No, R33.

Don’t you enjoy making romantic and sexy chocolate covered prunes?

And we’d rather you didn’t share your special glaze for prunes.

What I like about Greg is that he DOES have a sense of humor. With all of his precious table settings and recipess, and the back bay, of course- He is always game for a joke even at his expense.

My mother told me to spread my wings and fly- Instead I spread my legs and killed an entire village!

Thank you, R35.

And always plays along and does not clutch his back bay pearls when I admit while drunk that I am a midget hater.

You can flame me; Mama’s Mussy is already sizzling like cubed steak in a fondue pot, thrown at your head.

Well damn! If you got the steak, I got the sauce! 😘

On this site, the punches come left, right, and below the belt. And I’M not wearing any pants!

[quote] And always plays along and does not clutch his back bay pearls when I admit while drunk that I am a midget hater.

That’s only because you lived at 163 Beacon Street.

True-- That place must be $3800 now. In 2008 it was 1550!

When that short bus broke down in front of my trailer, my asshole was murdered!

[quote] True-- That place must be $3800 now. In 2008 it was 1550!

I suppose that depends on the unit.

“When you mess with the queen ‘B’, you’re bound to get stung.”

“I don’t see gender, color, or race—just opportunity.”

“If you’re offended by what I say, just imagine what I think.”

I’m loads of fun and full of cum!

Sorry—I meant to sign R47, Andy Cohen.

Or…

“My weekdays are busy, but my weekends are loaded.”

—Dawson

“When you’re surrounded by bottoms, it’s easy to come out on top.”

“The easiest things in life to spread are love, kindness, and my double jointed legs!”

I've got two kittens, two homes and forty personalities. None of them good.

[quote] I've got two kittens, two homes and forty personalities. None of them good.

Oh, dear.

Three homes (one is tiny).

Two kittens, three homes, and one incandescent personality: priceless.

R54 seems obsessed with my kittens.

The number of comments he has posted about my kittens, including calling their very existence into question, is the work of someone who can't get enough of me.

Please, R54, I am flattered, but you are embarrassing yourself.

In the words of Caroline, "Moo. Moo. Moo. Moo."

I might be Gen X, but I’ll take some Gen Z in me anyday

The world is my feast! Married men’s legs unparted, parts uncharted!

I've spent my whole life rolling with the punches. And on The Data Lounge, they come left, right, below the belt, and straight up the keister.