Let’s be Fraus online

I'm the links to promo codes for 'Live, Love, Laugh' crap.

I'm a Miinions meme.

Thoughts & Prayers

I'm the inappropriate use of "LOL" and "haha."

"So this morning I was fixing some Uncrustables for Jaydynne's breakfast when the fuse blew LOL and I went to the basement to find the breaker haha and tripped over something and it was our cat Garfield who'd been missing for a week haha and he was dead right on the basement floor LOL"

MLM schemes and little meet ups about them on Facebook.

The heavily filtered photos that make them look like tanned smears.

Photos taken in a car with 3000 things dangling from the rear view or a gigantic keychain with all sorts of crap hanging from it that makes them look like a serial killer school custodian.

It’s always having issues with everything - health, money, the danged clerk at Michael’s - and no real problem solving skills other than being a self-avowed “bad bitch.”

I'm the lengthy insta post about BLM with a photo of my daughter Madyleign and her Black BFF . They've known each other almost a week!

Kids don't see colour, y'all!

I’m the loony Heartstopper posters pretending to be gay men.

I'm the one who replies to a post showing several of her buddies out at lunch with, "Ha ha, no dinner tonight, girls!"

I'm a Scentsy rep, at your service. I'm also having a Pampered Chef party this weekend. Everyone is invited to enjoy craptastic food made on a pizza stone.

I'm the instant, effusive reassurance that "you're a great mother" from a hundred internet strangers.

I am especially profuse when a frau has "confessed" something that actually makes her a shit mother.

I'm the sad realisation that "this is it".

I'm fibro

I'm the passive aggressive/snide remarks towards my slim friendd that I post on their photos. When I manage to lose a few pounds myself, then we're besties -- almost sisters!

I'm the fat acceptance movement.

My inner Mama Bear comes out roaring whenever his school says anything negative about his intelligence, demeanor, attitude, bullying, or not being chosen by any girl for the homecoming court.

My son can do NO WRONG!

I'm "wine o'clock."

I make alcoholism funny and cute.

I'm endless threads complaining about the picky eating habits of my husband and children, yet the "complaints" seem tinged with pride as the frau explains that she's the only one who can make their favorite dishes just the way they like them.

As you read, it becomes clear why there is a raging epidemic of disordered eating, obesity, and OCD.

I'm the wrinkled stomach, saggy ass, and stretch marks that I proudly show off in a bikini. My husband refers to them as "badges of honor and courage " for giving birth to 6 kids.

I tell every mother to be proud of their bodies while my husband sneaks lustful glances at our teenage daughter's friends.

I’m the oversharing of every aspect of my children’s life for my mommy blog.

I’m the custom made graduated drinking sippy cup thing, so I gauge how much water I drink and when. It can’t go in the dishwasher. I wash it by hand but I read it can get moldy and cause obesity which is why I can’t lose weight.

I’m the inane story that could have been stated in two sentences, but instead is told in a 9 paragraph, emoji-filled post, that leaves followers exhausted if they finish it.

I’m the “littles” and the “hubs”.

I’m the book club. I’m just an excuse for these broads to whip out their wine glasses that hold an entire bottle and talk shit about everyone not in the room.

I’m your mother who birthed you. You’re welcome .

I’m your sister .

I’m your ex wife and mother of your children

I’m your daughter who loves you .

We are all women and we all go online .

I’m the Frau at R24

I’m a dumb cunt. This is a gay website and it’s 2024, we don’t have daughters and ex-wives. I’m a really stupid bitch.

I'm a self-pitying attempt to pluck the heartstrings and induce guilt.

After all, I've done so much and received so little thanks. And boys and men, let's face it, are such ungrateful monsters.

I’m the black abyss that no number of likes or comments will fill.

I'm the HE'S STRAIGHT PEOPLE!!!

I'm the hunger for praise when I post exhaustingly detailed step-by step-instructions on the Halloween costumes I make for my kids.

"OMG, Cassie! That is a masterpiece! You're an artist".

I'm the thousands of posts on Lipstick Alley.

Be kind.

Hate has no place in our town.

I am the cliques that exactly replicate along middle-school lines. There are the boss bitches, the schlubby masses of followers, and occasionally the free-thinking rebels, who never last. One wrong word, and the boss bitch will trigger a pile-on that will destroy its target.

Conformity of thought is thus enforced in a way that Kim Jung Un can only dream about.

I'm Datalounge. It's not just for the gays you know.

I’m the “Amen!” That gets posted because some clickbait post said, “Jesus is king and will give you gifts. Can I get an amen?”

I got married so I can type "hubby" over and over online.

I'm the rescue dog video.

Im One Million Moms!

I'm the arm that weighs more than a Darfur orphan.

I’m their local community Facebook page’s top-of-screen rule: “Let’s all treat one another respectfully and with kindness when posting here, or else maybe this page isn’t for you and you will be BANNED.”

I'm the real-time warning on Next Door to my neighbors:

"Everyone: There is a BLACK MAN walking toward the Marigold Court cul-de-sac right now! He is wearing a BLUE PLAID SHIRT!!!! Be safe out there!"

R41 I’m the concern that’s probably warranted.

I'm Hashimoto's

I'm the hours spent analyzing old Instagram pics of Hilaria Baldwin so I can make damning posts about her terrible parenting skills and prove that she faked her pregnancies. Meanwhile my kids are feeding crayons to the dog, microwaving Barbies, and letting the bathtub overflow.

I'm the impassioned discussion about the latest Hallmark movie.

I’m $9,000 “worth” of Lularoe crap rotting in the basement. I’m accompanied by blue tubs full of Beanie Babies and Body by Vi shake powder. It smells like wet dog down here…

I'm R42

“My husband doesn’t make me orgasm. Is this normal?”

R47 no that would you and the other woke cunts

R43. Frau here, my Hashimoto's resulted in a complete thyroidectomy, does that count?

I'm the wizened arid gash that no human being has touched in 30 years yet I know any man between 14-94 yo thinks it's the Gate to Paradise.

We need to ban all the books so Jonny lives in an echo chamber I agree with! 🤡

I'm the endless Heartstopper threads.

R52 especially if it teaches them to be straight or Christian!

I show my scars so that others can heal.

I’m the picture of Jaden. Jaden can’t decide whether they are male, female or other, but thank God we picked a flexible name.

Did I mention that I’m blessed?

Well, I am. I am blessed.

My baby is Trans! #soproud

Posts photo of severely depressed teen with neon hair.

I’m the self induced abortion of the neighbor’s baby that everyone thinks is my husband’s. I was going to keep it, but found out it’s retarded and the neighbor isn’t leaving his life. I’ll get more sympathy, a three week meal chain, and a lot of passes for never wanting to do anything by sharing the news of our loss on social media. I may even get to use one of my rich friend’s really nice vacation homes on the beach to “heal” which I look for my next dick. I’m thinking a big thick black dick this time.

[quote]I'm Datalounge. It's not just for the gays you know.

It [bold]IS[/bold] just for the gays R34.

I’m the “Judge Not, Lest Ye Be Judged” Facebook quote. I am, therefore, the reigning queen of the judgemental church bitches.

I'm the constant Facebook invites. To my Pampered Chef party. To my brothers new business venue, every weekend. To my daughter's cheerleading fundraisers. To my twin sons baseball and football fundraisers. The asking for money for all three of my kiddos to help pay for their high school band to go on that special trip! Three yearsin a row They've worked so hard all year, y'all!

I'm the cradled mug...

A couple generations ago, it would have been "out with the girls lunching".

Theses days, there's always some nostalgic post that seems oxymoronic like "I miss Zayre's", as if poorly stocked discount stores, with loud cheap clothing would be unknown to us.

My favorite are the ones who are posting constantly, sometimes around 5-10 times per day but are always bitching about how they don’t have any time because they’re such a “busy mommy”.

Get off Facebook then, you fat bitch!

I'm the constant update, and group sleuthing, about any major true crime even within a 50 mile radius.

R66 I’m the clit being rubbed while reading graphic details of brutal rapes.

I'm the picture of myself, my Husband and our three kids. 30 posters will say, "What a beautiful family." This is despite the fact that my daughter looks exactly like her grandfather, who looks like he was a pro boxer. Don't start me on my ugly shithead mouth breathing sons. They look like they hit each other with ugly sticks all day. At least my alcoholic husband will give me a solid fucking once a season.

Trash Day Alert: Air fyrer on 10th N. Main St. looks new!!!!! One mans junk is another mans treasure.

[quote] I'm the constant update, and group sleuthing, about any major true crime even within a 50 mile radius.

As if we don’t do the same, but globally?

I’m the copy-and -pasted “warning.”

A strange man was following me around Kroger! I was afraid I was going to be trafficked!

Gang members have an initiation where they tape razor blades under the handles of car doors!

Cue dozens of “shocked”:emojis from frau friends.

😲 😲 😲

"There is NO WAY he can be gay or bi - he has a kid, girlfriend, wife"...etc

Happy wife, happy life!

If momma ain’t happy ain’t nobody happy!

I'm tender to the touch.

pink ribbon

I’m thoughts and prayers

Shit, thoughts and prayers was done before.

Okay, instead I’m the inspirational posts that are hiding Arbonne commission links.

I'm the discomfort that is apparent to EVERYONE when my Frau talks to black people. Especially black women. She keeps thinking she's ghetto-cool.

Actually, this just doesn't happen online.

I named my girls 👧

Tiffany

Brittany

and

Amber

And my son's names are Ryler, Krew and Brexton.

Tiffany, Brittany, Amber? Those names are at least 30 years out of date. Now it would be Bryleigh, McKinslee, Maddysyn.

My pussy won’t be denied

I'm the conviction that I am the busiest and most put-upon person on earth.

Ironically, I coexist with posts lamenting the high cost of fast food and junk treats, or bemoaning the shambles that is my house and kitchen ("the littles just won't pick up after themselves and the dog keeps having accidents!").

Or showing a half-assed Pinterest frau project that took at least 20 hours over the course of 6 months before it's abandoned as "good enough." Often it's an abortive "IKEA hack" that remarkably makes the item look even more ratchet than it did in its natural state.

“Amen”!

There, I have done my part in helping the unfortunate.

Petting cats at the shelter today!

I'm the post about how I fed a homeless person or something similar, claiming it's to encourage random acts of kindness, but it's really because I want everyone to tell me what awesome, caring,sweet, selfless, amazing person I am.

I need that external validation so, so badly y'all!

I'm the word y'all.

“This is my favorite Starbucks cup! It’s pink!”

That reminds me, R90. I'm huge, brightly colored Stanley cups that cost 50 bucks.

R91 I have 27 in all different colors. I put my “teas” from Herbalife in them!

I'm convinced that popping out two spawn is "the hardest job you'll ever love."

I’m the fun of diagnosing their mental disorders from their oversharing.

"Louder for the people/folks/ones in the back!"

So 👏many 👏 hands 👏 clapping 👏 wow 👏 sis 👏 your 👏 fingers 👏 must 👏 sore👏

“I’ve never had an orgasm, it makes me feel dirty!”

I’m the blur filter on every pic of my face I post so it looks like I have the skin of a toddler

I’m exploiting my family’s illnesses and disabilities for MLM sales.

I'm the fake cancer diagnosis.

It's FIBRO, every white woman has FIBRO, first they ignored all the ADHD and autism, WHEN WILL THE GOVERNMENT DO SOMETHING!!! They had to suffer thru COVID and FIBRO at the same time, it's just not fair.

I'm black women's hair.

I'm the Reacher stan who's never seen an actual cock in the light of day

I’m the unsuccessful petitions about subliminal Satanic influences in Happy Meal toys.

I'm the "He is risen" posts.

I’m an online frau — I may be dumb but I recognize Defacto at r42 and r49 basically from orbit. My life may seem empty, but it’s chock full compared to that pathetic creature on the weekends. Sad!

I’m compelled to ask “You okay, hun?”

Defacto IS MURIEL, I believe, it's all to keep the clicks going, even though we pay, how else could the retard do what he does? Think about it.

I'm the sudden, overwhelming love for all things Dolly Parton.

I’m the brag posting about their “perfect” children and husband who are actually anything but. My neighbor posts about her “best father/husband EVER!!!” all the time when they spend hours screaming at each other daily.

I'm the " RIGHT ? " after every nonsensical inane declaration.

I'm cutesy photos of Frau and Mr Frau every time they go out to dinner or celebrate a birthday or anniversary. Don't forget the gushing captions: "Kevin took me to Ruth's Chris Steak House for my b-day dinner! BEST PORTERHOUSE EVER! #BLESSED #RELATIONSHIP GOALS"

The cutesier the photos and the more effusive the captions, the closer the couple is to an acrimonious divorce. The only question is: Is Kevin sucking cock or plowing some desperate trailer park cooch?

I’m the misery porn sharing of something awful happening to a child, inevitably followed by:

“Hug your littles a little tighter tonight”

Found this dresser on the side of the road. Follow my restoration project!