The Palace of Versailles, famously opulent and vast, is often celebrated for its architectural grandeur and the lavish ceremonies that took place within its walls. But at its core, it was essentially a giant overcrowded hotel of horrors for the entire French nobility, who were given their own room and key that symbolised both privilege and entrapment. Beneath the gilded surface, Versailles was not merely a royal residence but a sophisticated mechanism of political control, designed to keep the French nobility on a tight leash and under close surveillance. One might even compare it to the Bates motel. Cloaked in the guise of “luxury” hospitality, it was however, a masterclass in political strategy.
So how would Hotel Versailles fare in the ratings? Not very well at all. Think more “roach motel”. The palace was very crowded, and residents were typically allocated small rooms, not based on payment but on loyalty and status. Garret (attic) rooms were all that was left for the aspiring courtier, which were basically ultra-cramped, unsanitary, and sparsely furnished (if at all).
But it wasn’t just the aspiring nobility that drew the short straws. Versailles famously didn’t have toilets. Only the most high-ranking favourites of the Sun King had private closets in their rooms, but the first flush toilet wasn’t actually installed until the next king, Louis XV came to the throne. Even Marie Antoinette was said to have been once hit by a chamber pot being emptied out of a window. There were very limited public latrines available on the estate, and they would have made the toilet cubicles at music festivals look like the Four Seasons. They often overflowed from overuse and sewage seeped into the apartments of Versailles. Courtiers and servants alike took to relieving themselves in the palace, crouched down in the corridor or curled up in a window recess. One German Princess Elizabeth Charlotte staying at Versailles remarked, “the people stationed in the galleries in front of our room piss in all the corners. It is impossible to leave one’s apartments without seeing somebody pissing.”