The high-end mechanical litter box I recently purchased has malfunctioned and disjoined two of my precious kitty's legs!!!

0/10

Dollface thread!!!!!

My cleaning woman is from Brazil, not Guatemala.

My tailor is Italian.

OP, you are cute, but the PETKIT PuraX Self-Cleaning Litter Box is equipped with an anti-trap infrared sensor and a weight sensor just to make sure one's pet is not at risk.

This is not your mother's litter box.

OP, does your mother still shit in a box?

R3 Mother is in a box.

[quote] [R3] Mother is in a box.

Well, R4, my kittens' box has automatic deodorization.

How about your mother's box?

You go after somebody's mother? You low class piece of shit.

The whore that farted you out is giving blowjobs in exchange for menthol cigarettes behind a dumpster somewhere in South Dakota.

R4, in case you're in the market for a special Mother's Day gift.

It's just three weeks from Sunday!

She tried to abort you but hell won't have you. So common. You are garbage.

Now, now, OP/R6/R8, I'm sorry that you were obviously dragged up.

Pity you couldn't figure out a way to rise above your limited station in life and become a better version of yourself.

Now get lost. You've wasted enough of our time.

How many men have seen their jism squirt out of your mother's nostrils?

I don't know, R10, I'll have to ask her.

Now don't get all bent out of shape just because your mother is not alive.

You can dish it out, but you can't take it.

So sad.

I can take it just fine, Gerg.

Call her in SD on her prepaid flip phone.

[quote] Call her in SD on her prepaid flip phone.

Okay, whatever you say.

5.5/10 I think stories about consumer technology malfunctioning/inconveniencing/maiming/tormenting people are hilarious. That's why Brazil is one of my favorite movies. It really resonates with me. Too brief and it would be funnier if you just said Carmen and let the reader imagine what kind of exploited immigrant she could be. Score is relative to expectations for DL shitposts not relative to the literary canon.

That image is clearly digitally manipulated, OP. Delete this.

What if the cat sits around the corner and watches the litter box going? They might think it’ll close in on them and they’ll go somewhere else.

[quote] That image is clearly digitally manipulated, OP. Delete this.

R15, the OP has a very tenuous relationship with the truth.

Good luck trying to get him to stop being an asshole.

[quote] What if the cat sits around the corner and watches the litter box going? They might think it’ll close in on them and they’ll go somewhere else.

I love the image of the cat sitting around the corner and watching.

In the beginning they were very curious about the mechanics of the box. When they approach the box at work, it stops and on the screen it says: "Cat has approached the box."

They don't seem at all concerned about their personal safety. The box is a godsend.

R17 My cat exists and I have posted a picture of it!!!

Helena?

[quote] My cat exists and I have posted a picture of it!!!

And I bet you weren't harassed for doing so.

My kittens exist and I am never posting photos of them.

R18 "The box is a godsend."

This is blasphemous and disrespectful. It's a box of shit. It came from heaven because you are lazy and fat?

No, R22, it is not blasphemy.

[bold] Godsend: [/bold] an unexpected thing or event that is particularly welcome and timely, [bold] as if sent by God. [/bold]

Furthermore, it is not a "box of shit." It is a box designed to hold shit.

It is particularly welcome and timely because we have two cats and dislike any sort of unpleasant odors. We also dislike scooping cat waste.

Does that make us lazy? Hardly. We keep very busy and don't need to be dealing with a litter box.

Does that make us fat? No.

What's your deal? What about this offends you? You seem to be taking our litter box as a personal affront.

Carmen has been secretly stealing from you for years, OP.

Imagine talking about “box” passionately on DL.

Yes, R25.

OP’s mother’s box has gotten quite a lot of traffic.

R26 I had no idea you were so low.

R27, you’ve got to be kidding.

[quote]We also dislike scooping cat waste.

That's why you have a housekeeper.

Unless she's as "real" as the kittens.

[quote] That's why you have a housekeeper. Unless she's as "real" as the kittens.

Yes, R30, our housekeeper is indeed as real as the kittens.

But I would never expect a housekeeper to empty a litter box.

Furthermore, she comes only weekly and I like to empty the litter box daily.

Thanks for checking in!

Thank you, R28.

We have no young children here, so the article you shared is irrelevant to our situation.

[quote]she comes only weekly.

Peasants.

Perhaps, but we are very clean peasants.

R15 I hope that you never have to deal with the level of heartbreak this has caused me.