I’m 42 and regularly hook up with 18-21 year olds on Grindr…..

You might want to start checking IDs.

I think it is normal because the male brain is attracted to youth.

There's a big difference between 18 and 21, You really need to be careful with those young hearts and be a good guy. Don't fuck them up when you fuck them. They're still doing a lot of things for the first time.

R3 Not in Europe where the age of consent is usually 14

OP...

I wasn't talking about age of consent, R4. I was talking about experience and developmental maturity.

Because if there's one thing we know about here on Datalounge, it's maturity!

If we’re waiting for age of maturity, that’ll permanently ax half of what’s available easily.

Seriously, 18-21 year olds are lousy lays. No skills. Yes, they look lovely (or often do), but they tend to be very passive partners with few oral abilities.

You can take that last part any way you like.

Get it while you can.

If you’re a larger guy good luck. Like R8 says they aren’t used to a whole lot. They’re gonna cry from just the tip.

They cry if you're a smaller guy, too. But from laughter.

Hookup culture is icky. Have fun getting Sniffilis, OP. If you use Sniffies, that is. I guess Grindohrrea isn't much fun either.

Gen Z’s are unbearable, but a young dumb full of cum 20 year old is a fun time!

I enjoyed hooking up with 40 year olds as a young gayling. They taught me a lot about sex.

Any gay man with a data plan can get as much low effort casual sex from guys of roughly commensurate attractiveness as he wants. I guess it’s an “accomplishment” when a straight guy bed scores of younger women, but yeah, like any regular gay guy can get the amount of ass that a NBA player does, if he carves out the the time for it. So, congratulations on prioritizing your sex life?

This age gap pearl clutching crap is for sexually repressed heteros. Don't think about it too much.

[quote]Seriously, 18-21 year olds are lousy lays. No skills. Yes, they look lovely (or often do), but they tend to be very passive partners with few oral abilities.

That is not the point of having sex with a 21 yo. It's not about the lay, sex with an equal. It's about undressing them, looking at their young tight body and feeling them up, and devouring them, and having your way with them, compassionately of course. You are both just ideas to each other. They are learning what the confidence of desire looks like and you are traveling back to the memories of your first gay crushes. I love all types of men, for different reasons. But I am 48 OP, and I am shocked by how many cute, what I would consider out of my league, young guys flirt. I am a top, so I don't know if that makes a difference. I can't imagine wanting to bottom to someone who has no idea as to what they are doing.

The world is full of young people with daddy issues.

Creepy old men take full advantage.

Creepy old men always take advantage.

I don't want to get into how old I am (old), and 24 is the youngest I'll go, but I regularly hook up with younger guys on Grindr or Sniffies. Last Wednesday, I hooked up with a really hot guy. He was hot (aside from being handsome) was just a regular guy. Really nice. Unfortunately, he was just visiting.

Yes, I'm a creepy old man. Everyone leaves happy. R19 and R20 haven't been laid since the Clinton administration.

There is nothing creepy about it. We make it creepy because we've grown up thinking that our gayness is a bad thing other people are subjected to. But to be honest, sex with an older person is a right of passage. I know when I was younger, in my early 20s, I was way into older men because I discovered more about myself, my likes and dislikes, being with them. I experimented and was more vulnerable with them in ways that I would never be with someone my own age.

It’s considered far more creepy for old men to hook up with young women R22. Your gayness is not the reason it’s considered creepy.

^ In that particular dynamic it was obvious the person who knew more when it came to sex and I was there to learn. I didn't have to pretend to be someone I wasn't as you do sometimes with sexual partners.

If you’re all adults who cares?

Just because it’s legal doesn’t always make it right. Lots of young guys are emotionally immature and not ready for adult relationships. I have always been suspicious of older guys who exclusively date young guys. It seems controlling and manipulative. Where is the equality?

The whole legal thing is such a cop out. Adultery is legal but most would agree it’s unethical.

I’m not old myself so I can only speak from a place of saying, I’m not into old men. The younger people I know who are came from dysfunctional childhoods and older people who take advantage know it.

It’s not up there with criminal activity but I feel the same way when someone in public openly lets out a loud and rancid smelling fart —I’m grossed out.

It’s not the act, it’s the larger picture.

Today's 18-year-olds know precisely what they are doing. I draw the line at 20. Have fun, OP, and be sure to always make your intentions very clear.

[quote]I’m not old myself so I can only speak from a place of saying, I’m not into old men. The younger people I know who are came from dysfunctional childhoods and older people who take advantage know it.

That is such a huge sweeping generalization, it's almost gross.

No, nothing wrong with it. There are guys that age into older. And legitimately so, not because they're seeking your wallet.

That being said, you need to make it clear it's just a hang out and sex. And be aware that if you do order in drinks or food or whatever you will be paying for their the meal and their Uber if they have had anything to drink. As the older guy, certain things are expected on that front. But really, best to keep it to just sex unless he is emotionally mature.

Strangely, I would be more concerned if you were dating them than if you're just hooking up with them.

HOWEVER - you're just begging to be filmed in an episode of To Catch a Predator.

You are going to end up hooking up with someone under 18 who lied about his age. You're going to end up being labeled a pedo and put on a sex offenders' registry.

Even exchanging messages with someone under 18 can get you in a lot of hot water. Remember that for every photo of them that makes them look like their adults, there are probably 100 instagram pix of them looking 14 which will be shown at your trial.

This is an exceptionally bad idea that you will eventually regret.

As long as everyone is having fun, who cares.

Poor r13 hasn't had sex in years.

"their adults"

Okay, let me "Oh, dear" myself.

Let's just keep it very clear we are talking about consenting adults here. There is nothing to be afraid of legally when it comes to that.

Are you "gen" OP?

Die in a grease fire, R34.

OP is 42 but has 15yo grammar, tops.

[quote] Today's 18-year-olds know precisely what they are doing. I draw the line at 20

Funny, because all I hear is how emotionally immature teenagers are today. And how much more worldly teenagers decades past were.

I guess it depends on how/what someone is trying to justify.

R40, you don’t have to be emotionally mature to be a little slut. From music, to social media, to porn, these kids sexualize themselves sometimes way before they are even sexually mature. By the time they’re 20, half of them have commodified their bodies. That’s how you end up with 20 year olds making videos of themselves pushing out a bucket of sand from their assholes as content.

R41 well that’s good news for OP and others! Hooray for immature teenage sluts!!

[quote]That’s how you end up with 20 year olds making videos of themselves pushing out a bucket of sand from their assholes as content.

Oh my!!!

What does your husband think?

Let’s face it. A lot of young ones have ‘Daddy issues’.

I don't judge. As long as OP treats them well, such as the situation is.

There's obviously a desire for older men out there. (from what I read).

I don’t care.

I'm 80 and I regularly hook up with 19-year-olds!

Did someone say 15 yo tops???

It's fine to fuck and have a little youthful fun hanging out but you should maintain some boundaries and not get involved to the extent that they're making life changes or commitments to you. Keep it light.

You’re only a scumbag if you’re a bottom going after younger guys, OP.

OP is a top and i like a smooth bubble butt twink bottom

why?

Do you embarrass yourself by using youthful slang in your profile/messages, OP?

A lot of the old guys looking for the under 25s do on the apps.

I'm not your daddy, but I WILL spank you.

What apps to under 25 use to hook up?

Good for you OP, go for it while you can.

Every time I see stories like this, I get flashbacks to the times creepy old men in their 40s and 50s would hit on me starting around my junior year of high school and it makes me physically ill.

"Men are attracted to youth" my ass. No, it's something broken in people who specifically seek out individuals who are 10+ years their junior for sex. This has nothing to do with gender, sexual orientation, or age. These are broken. People.

I said what I said.

Good for you, R58. Good for you in particular.

[quote]Remember that for every photo of them that makes them look like their adults, there are probably 100 instagram pix of them looking 14 which will be shown at your trial.

r32 Honestly, I stayed looking 14 until I was about 19. I had a baby face and looked very much like a kid. That's why the old men hitting on my made me ill (and still do). I know they were pedophiles. In that specific situation there is no other possibility. They were straight (literally) sickos. For clarity, I'm a female.

r59 No.

[quote]Am I a scumbag?

If you have to ask . . .

I wouldn't trust today's 18-25-year-old twinks. They're trouble.

[quote]I said what I said.

Well what you said is some bullshit.

R60 is tender to the touch.

R60 I think it is called hebebophile

R58 they must have had royal ancestors because it was common for them to sleep with 9 year olds.

Pedophilia is specifically someone who is into kids who have not reach sexual maturity, so 11 years of age and under.

Ephebophilia is attraction to adolescents. 18-21 is borderline, in my opinion.

I'm 100% sex positive but even I think that 42 ad 18 don't go together and is playing with fire OP. Like someone said upthread - there's a big difference between a 42 year old in interacting with a child of 18 and a 21 year old who is more mentally and emotionally developed.

I have friends older than OP and they hook up with guys in their 20s on the regular. Mind you they are pretty good looking by any standard,, but still.. these are hookups, not relationships.

I see no problem with hooking up with young guys who have reached the age of majority. Relationships however, big mistake

Just so we are all are on the same page:

Pedophilia is an attraction to prepubescent children, usually under 11 years of age.

Hebephilia is a sexual attraction to early pubescent teens 11-14.

Ephebophilia is a sexual attraction to people in late puberty 15 to 18

I live in Germany and when I was 14 I knew that the age of consent was 14...

I'm 53 but pass for 40 and the guys who hit on me are guys I could not get when I was their young age, But in all fairness I think if I'd met me, (or a guy like me) when I was younger I'd have loved it. I'm tall, handsome, fit enough, and I'm a warm friendly nice guy..who often gets messages afterwards saying I was very nice. I don't go seeking out young 20 somethings and try go no lower than 24, but when I tell this to younger guys they try to convince me to meet them. A funny thing happened, I met this 24 year old for a 3rd time, and I mentioned my age. I'd forgotten I'd lied that I was 41. I could see he was shocked, and though it wasn't the end of our session, he never messaged me again. I think maybe he thought a relationship might be on the cards but 53 is very different to 41.

R74 do you dye your pubes?

R74 It could have also been that some people are put off by dishonesty.

R76

r72 If they're under 18, I think most people just go to the "pedophile" label because it's easier. And also, again, like I stated at r60, a lot of 15-18 year olds still look like middle schoolers. So, any adult that is attracted to them, is likely a pedo, anyway.

It was worse in the gay teen chats I would go into on AOL when I was around 12 or 13. There were an insane amount of old guys in there. That's actually where I saw my first penis. Some old, fat, hairy dude private messaged me a video of him masturbating. I was 13. My friends were getting the same messages. We all ranged in ages from 11-14 at the time. Those were pedophiles. Period.

R78 not to be a stickler, but someone attracted to a middle schooler technically would not be a pedophile. Pedophiles are sexually attracted to 0-11. I know it's easier to use the word pedophile, as you say. BUT if you are going to get so specific in your description of what happened to you, I am going to be a stickler about definitions. So NO they were not pedophiles - Period.

To me, pedophile is like the word racist. It has a very specific definition that can be extremely damaging if used incorrectly. I am a black guy. I know the difference between - ignorance, bias, prejudice and racism. Racism is the strongest form - which actually means you are actively trying to suppress another race. But the label racist is casually thrown around because someone looked at you funny. Pedophile is casually thrown around when it actually defines a very specific sexual disorder.

as long as they are legal, who cares, enjoy

[quote] Pedophiles are sexually attracted to 0-11.

r79 I specifically said that our age ranges in those rooms was 11-14. Not sure if you're aware of this but a lot, if not most kids in that age range, stay looking under or exactly 11 (since you're so adamant on that cutoff age), anyway. But do forgive me for daring to tar the reputation of a bunch of grown ass men private messaging videos of themselves masturbating to a group of 11-14 year olds. They're hebephiles. Technically. Annnnnd?????

There are 21 year old girls in bra and panties on 5 story billboards in the middle of Time Square selling sex as well as lingerie. I think the OP is ok, and in a lot cases probably justified - because there area a lot of hot and horny 18-21 year olds who just want to have sex.

R82, in your own words you said they are "Pedophiles. Period." And I am saying you are wrong. They are not. You can try to explain the reasoning behind your error all you want. That doesn't change the fact they you were wrong.

r84 Bruh. Is this really the hill you wanna die on?

Pedophile, teenophile, run a mile….

Die on, R84? That's not how that expression is used. I have nothing to lose in the discussion.

No but your a troll- not because of the hookups necessarily but because of your moronic post.

What’s wrong with OP’s grammar?

[quote]because there area a lot of hot and horny 18-21 year olds who just want to have sex.

I will give you that. I don't know why DL likes to dump on Gen Z for calling them prudes. A lot of them are trifling as hell.

Just for the streets for no reason.

[quote]I’m 42 and regularly hook up with 18-21 year olds on Grindr

But you're a DL-er, so we assume that you're 42 but look 26.

Interestingly enough r91, young guys into older guys don't want men who look their own age. They can't be grossly obese, but they want older men who look like they are in their 40s, 50s - not some 42 yo who looks in his 20s. It's like a poster said above, as soon as I started getting grays and carrying myself in a certain way, I started getting noticed by the types of guys I totally would have crushes on at a younger age - guys who were completely out of my league. There is this tall attractive young guy who works in a store I always pass on my way to work. I first noticed him, but then he noticed me. Of course I didn't think anything of it given the obvious difference between our looks, in my head. But it happened every single time I would pass and he would happen to notice me, and we'd exchange glances. Come to find out, he found me on Tinder and liked my profile. He's 21. Not that I would necessarily do anything with him, but it is interesting, and a confidence boost.

I think it comes down to the fact that no matter what you look like at that age, no matter how hot you are, everyone is full of insecurities. You never truly see yourself the way other people do. Confidence in yourself comes with age. Confidence in just having made it to a certain age without fucking up your life has it's own kind of energy you exude. It's also an aphrodisiac to someone younger who yearns for the same kind of confidence in themselves, but lacks it.

The flipside of that is that the things you start to lament in the mirror as you get older and think that no one would find attractive, that you fight against, are the very things that might turn someone on about you.

I’m 39

Ebephilia or whatever isn’t real. The age of consent in the majority of the world is around 16.

You sound like a real expert.

I'm 54, and I've been stunned how much I get hit on by much younger men, many of whom I don't think I'd have had a shot with when I was their age. My rule on the apps is I don't approach (or tap or woof or whatever) anyone under 40, but if I get approached first, all's fair. I also don't pretend I can be anything more than a friend or a fling, as I know that'd be an impossibility. So I don't talk with younger guys until they start a conversation, and if/when they ask to meet me, I make the expectations very clear.

I slept with a lot of older men when I was in my 20s and new to NYC, and I do not have daddy issues, so that's a generalization. Yes, some of the young men I now meet and get to know do have daddy issues, but most don't. And who doesn't have issues of some sort? The sex is fun, I get to meet and sometimes genuinely befriend guys from a younger generation, and everyone leaves sated, happier and more relaxed. It's win-win for both as long as kindness and honesty are in play.

I'm 66 and my husband is 46. We've been together for 21 years. Nobody cares about the age difference.