How much for a Wedding Gift

Personally, I would give the newlyweds, but not the parents, money.

(1) They might take it the wrong way or be humiliated; money is a tough subject;

(2) It is not your place to get involved in someone else's finances, even if they are your friends;

(3) You can have an inexpensive but nice wedding, I have been to plenty

I wouldn't give your friend (parent of the bride) a gift.

I agree with r1., especially point 1. In this day and age, I assume the bride and groom will also incur some wedding expense, so they'll have bills, too. If you give money to the father, do you know he will use it for the wedding or maybe to pay off other pressing bills? Would you be disappointed if the wedding doesn't reflect your contribution? If you do want to go the route of helping the parents, try to find a way to do it anonymously.

Can you afford to gift/pay for the food, the venue, or an open bar?

This way you are giving the couple a gift while also helping the parents out.

Based on the very limited information you've provided:

$500 would be "generous" as a gift to the couple.

Do not give your friend money - that's an uncomfortable thing to do.

However, what you could do is also give your friend (and the couple) a bottle of champagne for the toasting at the wedding - something like Veuve Cliquot for about $60 is probably fine - no need for Dom.

Just tell them you know they are A Poor and still want to be friends with them anyway.

Are they doing the reception at a hall/restaurant? If not, I love r5's idea of covering the champagne cost. It's about $420 for six bottles of Veuve Cliquot.. That plus the monetary gift of $500 or more is very nice.

$5 maximum

You should suggest that they could have the reception in a barn to save on cash.

Okay, if I don't give the parents any money, does $500 seem appropriate for a wedding gift? I am not sure I will be going to the wedding it it turns into a family affair.

You could pay for a nacho bar.

Wasn't it a baked potato bar?

Offer to pay for the inevitable divorce lawyer in a few years time.

$500? You’re an idiot.

$500 sounds like too much. Maybe $200.

$200 and a nice bottle of wine with some candles and bath stuff. Write a card saying I thought you two could enjoy a nice romantic evening.

$200 is NOT enough for the wedding of the daughter of a best friend.

Offer to pay for a honeymoon in Branson, MO.

[quote] I thought you two could enjoy a nice romantic evening.

"What did your dad's gay best friend give you?"

A romantic evening.

$300, then. Geez. Sounds like these people are broke and possibly in debt. Maybe they should just get married at court and have a reception when they can afford it.

It's not incumbent on the "best friend" to rectify or mitigate the situation.

A note on amount:

"Generous" and "cheap" are perceived through a variety of filters:

- OP's relative closeness to the bride

- Relationship with father (best friend)

- Father (and Bridge/couple) relative wealth

- OP's relative wealth or their perception of his wealth

For example, if your broke college best friend drives for 14 hours to get to your wedding and gives you a $50 wedding gift, you'd just glad he made it to your wedding. If rich uncle John, who just spent three weeks vacationing first class in St. Croix after throwing himself a lavish birthday party which cost more than your entire wedding and whose children OP babysat his developmentally disabled child numerous times a week for months for free because he had no one else and fAmIly, shows up via his personal private jet and gives you $50, he a cheap SOB.

$500 is likely 2-3 plates at the reception. It's not that excessive, but if OP is the poor college friend and not rich uncle John, it could be very uncomfortable.

And, do the champagne - at least for the parents of the bride and groom and the couple.

Hope it’s ok to piggyback onto OP’s question with my own question on a wedding gift. I’m old but my experience with weddings is minimal.

A medium close friend (we talk a lot, get pretty personal, have only known each other ten months but we met in intense enough circumstances to get close fast) is getting married in December.

I have to fly halfway across the country for the wedding, put myself up in a hotel, etc. I’m retired, very small pension, blah blah blah. But I want to do the right thing.

How much do I give?

TIA

This question is meaningless unless e know how much you make, OP.

I gave my best friend’s daughter $500.00 at her wedding. Because she’s my best friend’s daughter.

If I could have afforded more I would have given more,

If you can swing $500.00 it would be a very generous thing to do.

1,000.00 for every year you've known this good friend, that's the general rule.

This question is meaningless unless we know how big your cock is OP.

It depends how much of good friends you are with the parents. $500 is a generous gift to the newlyweds, but appropriate if the father is your best friend and you can afford it. I'm sure they will appreciate it and put it to good use.

Just offer the groom a rim job and the bride a mustache ride, while your friend looks on.

R22, I'd say $100 to $200. You're on a fixed income. You're flying, you're staying at a hotel.

I really hate this whole wedding bullshit. People should pay for their guest's accommodations if it's some type of destination wedding.

OP, my question is how well have you done for yourself? I think stretching yourself to be just slightly more generous than you normally would is healthy! It grows out generosity. But there are other variables too, including preserving both the parents and the newlyweds dignity too.

If you can afford it and it won’t feel like charity to them, $500 is great, and for the parents, ask them if there is a part of the wedding you could own (like the champagne as suggested). That way you are blessing the entire family. The spirit of generosity is a contagious thing so I encourage you to really go for it. But be sure you do not ever mention it to anyone in the friend circle. Be classy and keep this all to yourself, you aren’t doing it to look good, you’re doing it to help them and to feel good about helping them in a way that is respectful of them at the same time. They just want a wedding and to feel celebrated.

Please report back what your final decision is and how things play out — you are a great friend.

If you can afford it 500 seems generous but not extravagantly excessive either. You don't want them to feel they must pawn the Childs liver to repay you.

Thanks, R29! I appreciate your response. I’m sure I can manage the $200.

Thanks to everyone for your valuable advice. Since I am retired and living on a fixed income, $500 may be a pinch but not too much of a stretch for my best friend's only daughter's wedding. From what I hear, the in-laws met and go to the same fundie church, but they don't seem to socialize together. I may not be reading the room right if I offer a champagne toast to everyone seeing as my friend doesn't drink much. However, I will listen to their plans and if there is anything I can offer that seems to fit in with their theme, I will offer. I am sure the wedding will be held locally on whatever budget they can afford. We live in Leesburg Fl just north of Orlando. My friend is a waiter at Sonny's BBQ, so I wouldn't be surprised if it was a Beer and BBQ reception in somebody's backyard. I preseme it will be a church wedding, but who knows down here in the sticks. Thanks again DL friends!

Miss Manners says "The average wedding gift amount 2024 guests will spent on gifts will be about $100-$140 per person." But then, Miss Manners is a cheap old bitch.

R12 I stand corrected…but mmmm, nachos.

R33 - CORRECTS US ALL! Unclear her beliefs about the bridge or suggested bride tumbles an breaks jaw.