Jessica Simpson: Oh, dear!

BIG lip

Is that chicken or tuna?

Blow up lips on a manly skeleton

She's giving overkill and underfed

You should see her other set of lips……….

Looks like a dude.

Her transformation into Klaus Kinski is almost complete.

Is she taking testosterone?

You hear nothing about her husband, I guess he just spends the money and keeps his mouth shut.

WTF?!? I was not prepared for that.

These plastic surgery actresses all look like men when they get older. That's why they do these filler lips to appear more womanly...

Back in the day of my youth, every Halloween we bought various items - mustache ( tasted like licorice ), fake fingernails you slipped over your nail - yellow wax for the flesh and long red nails attached .. it was like a sweet type of “ candy” to attach to your face or nails - which you could chew whatever

Well…. There were the infamous CLOWN SMILE WITH BIG RED LIPS AND A FEW WHITE TEETH EXPOSED FOR EXTRA AUTHENTICITY

This was the original trout pout on steroids IMHO. Does any other elder remember ???

A young Lara Trump.

OMG the new jawline

I can't find them, r12. This was the closest.

R11, especially with her original nose.

What possessed her to wear that black outfit? Nobody could pull that off.

Does she have Ozempic face on top of all the weird cosmetic work? It's almost a creepy carnival funhouse face. Where did that square man's chin come from? I don't remember that at all. She looked her best when she was slightly plump with that curvy figure. I wonder what her body looks like now.

Her reaction when she looked in the mirror after the filler appointment.

Droopy dead coked out eyes, excessive lip filler, yellowing oversized veneers and a huge square chin implant. Yuck.

Eww! What is it? Quick, step on it!

Who IS that hot guy?

Difference is that Jessica is a billionaire Fashion line. Junk fashion, but it sells.

She looks positively grotesque but, then again, this is the result of hormone treatments to lose weight quickly after multiple births and frequent trips to the plastic surgeon from an early age.

The sad thing is that she had a spectacular voice, but her technique was awful and after years of relentless screaming and hollow belts full of tension, her vocal chords appeared to simply give out. She's made more money from cheap prêt-à-porter fashion than singing, but it's a pity that someone genuinely talented left music due to her father's mismanagement and the fact that she was too stupid to seek a vocal coach's help to deal with her many problems.

She looks like a size x-small Bratz doll costume crowbarred overtop of an xtra-large skeleton.

Speaking of Joe, check out his funky wig!

Interesting dress to wear on a night out with Dad.

R23 She knew how to sing properly in 1997 but then her management told her to compete with Christina aguilera and taught her this weird way of singing she was famous for.

I didn't even notice that, r26. I was so appalled at Joe's appearance. As well as the tragic wig, and crooked smile, he's still a hefty vulture.

Oh, Daddy Simp-son would have loved that dress! Jessica's tits are reminiscent of a twink's musky derriere.

She's always pumped her lips full of crap. In the 2000s she'd get so much her top lip would curl up and back toward her nose.

Her husband is not the Travis Kelce type, he seems happy to not draw attention to himself and I assume he isn't too ambitious

Is she still sexual napalm?

She is reminding of the 1988 McDonalds Mac Tonight moon man.

That chin implant takes the cake. I just can't get over it. I'm not sure which is worse, hers or Lauren Boebert’s. At least the shape of Ivanka's implant is correct, though you can see its outline on the sides

R31 when your wife is a billionaire, and you can lay on your ass all day in luxury, and just pretend to be Mr. Mom with the two kids, why call attention to yourself? Why make problems? Just enjoy the ride.

She's not a billionaire

Love that Joker!

Doesn't a chin implant leave scars?

^ on the person they're making out with.

*

Vagina dentata.

Geeeeeezus.....she looks like she bought that chin at Home Depot. What style of bevel is that?

Yeah so much of Jessica’s financial situation has been exaggerated. At its peak the Jessica Simpson label profited 1 billion in retail sales. Of that billion, Jessica and her mother profited 13 million. Nothing to sneeze at and given all the years the original company was doing well I am sure she made some bank, but a lot more modest profit than people think. Once the label was under a new firm, it went bankrupt due to poor management decisions.

Anyway, her mom has really been the brains behind the business though Jessica is quite savvy herself. They bought back the Jessica Simpson label for 65 million and so now they are the majority stockholders and are in the process of rebuilding still, I think.

From her autobiography, which I sadly skimmed, her husband seems lazy and like he doesn’t care about her at all. She’s so impressed he went to “Yell” (as she pronounces it) that she doesn’t do anything about it.

How many funky, jarring wigs does Joe own?

Poor man's Britney and almost as drugged out.

Joe is always good for a laugh, I chuckle whenever I see him. I am surprised his family doesn't hold more of a grudge against him after his preaching and controlling their lives all those years.

It must be exhausting always trying to look young. What a waste of time when your life is getting shorter..

He really is hilarious, r47. His appearance alone cracks me up.

She looks like shit. Does she own a mirror?

She looks like one of those bratz dolls. She’s pathetic.

I feel bad. She seemed like a nice girl and ways gorgeous 20 years ago.

I don't think Joe owns a mirror either, r50. He looks atrocious.

As well as SA from the daughter of family friends, Jessica had to deal with her father sexualising her, discussing her boobs, exploiting her, and slobbering all over Nick.

She looks like the trans contestant with a rich sponsor from a season of Drag Race

Same weight loss method, same weird cheekbones.

I still can't figure out her sister's husband, he pings to high heaven.

I know, I alway forget that Diana Ross is Jessica's in-law.

Is Ashlee still coked-up?

This is from a few years ago but...what in the living fuck is wrong with her eyes and speech?

[quote] Is she still sexual napalm?

—J. Mayer

Who are you asking for J?

Drugs, r59, and some damage caused to her brain from using them.

What about those teeth? They remind me of the scenes shot in the front of that van at night in Being John Malkovich: Cameron Diaz's veneers glowed in the dark.

Her eyes are so sunken! Did Skeletor have a twin sister? How could her haters let her appear on TV looking like that?

She was borderline obese and then she took drugs to lose a ton of weight. She has that sunken face a lot of people get when they lose weight.

Handlers, not haters.

Jessica was never known for her brains, however she was very popular for her head...skills.

Does she own a fucking mirror?? She looks like something from a horror movie.

[quote]Does she own a fucking mirror?? She looks like something from a horror movie.

Apparently, she doesn own a mirror - one that keeps repeating "looking good, Jess."