15 years since Grindr launched- but is this gay man right when he says Grindr has crippled the gay community?

Does no one remember AOL chat for gays?

And then Gay.com chat?

And then Gaydar?

Grindr is just an extension on those.

Yes, because more gays today don't socialize in communal settings like a bars, clubs, restaurants, where they can meet other gays in person and interact. Hooking up online has replaced physically meeting guys and experiencing what may make them special and unique. Grindr is like going to the Automat and choosing a tuna fish sandwich for lunch from the little vending windows .

r1 Yes Gaydar could be mad lol!

r2 Perhaps there will be a reaction against this and in face socialising will make a big return? Sometimes social trends run their course and the tide turns , pendulum swings and other traditional ways reassert themselves?

Yes, I saw the gay community leaning on a crutch just the other day.

r5 Admittedly the tweet was using a rather overcolourful eccentric metaphor!

Definitely positive…for HIV.

The majority are voting bad so far

I’ve never used the apps.

I go to a bathhouse.

The whores drive the agenda

[quote] "Has Grindr 'crippled ' the gay community ? Put another way has Grindr overall been a net positive or negative for gay men?"

It hasn't had any effect on me, because I've never used it for hookups. Only comedy...which is what most of the content on that app is, anyway.

It's extremely popular all over the world because it's one of the most efficient ways to quickly connect and bust your nut with another superficial dude based on looks alone.

It's exactly what being gay and horny means, right?

The state of the gay community is radically different than it was at the turn of the millennium

Yes Grindr is part of that

So is the legalization of gay marriage.

So is truvada.

Has the ever increasing on-lineness of everything created new problems, yes, but it has also solved old ones. It's easy to get sentimental about truck stop cruising from a current perspective, but If that has been my only option to make connections as a baby gay , I might never have found community. Gays are still going out and socializing. They're still going to bars and discos, they're still traveling to Provincetown and fire island, there are plenty of irl connections happening all the time.

It's like saying the drive through replaced eating out. As long as people are people we are going to want to socialize in real life in real time. If that were not the case we never would have come back out of our houses after COVID

R13 But many people are not socializing real life in real time, especially the younger gays.

I'm against the apps. Who has time for games and online flakery?

I'm too old to comment. I was not in my prime value on the meat market. I can say, as a tall handsome man, I LOVED bars, clubs and cruising, anywhere, anytime, when I WAS in my prime value. Do young hotties still cruise on the streets, in shops, on transport, etc?

Never downloaded a dating/hooking-up app. Not interested in trying to fruitlessly chat with someone all night, and then possibly having this stranger show up at my door--or me at his door. No thanks.

In my experience, all social media tend to fragment and/or disintegrate social connections and, in the long term, societal coherence. They are convenient in the short term, but have hidden costs in the long term. Thus, I view them as bad, but it's hardly unique to Grindr.

Grindr is a tool for men who prioritize (semi-)anonymous sex over building a human connection (even if it's just in that moment). I think it works well for that.

However, it is not the right tool to fulfill their "need of affiliation" (to borrow from McClelland's theory of motivation). Grindr won't solve your feeling of loneliness or alienation, it'll probably strengthen these feelings in the long run, unless you have another way of connecting to people in a meaningful way.

* "need FOR affiliation"

It has helped me get laid, so I can't knock it too much, but, man, the app can be toxic.

r20 in what way?

It just revealed the truth: that men just want to hook-up, then run back to their gal pals for friendship (straight women and lesbians).

He no doubt doesn’t like it because it’s racist or some stupid shit like that.

[quote] Definitely positive…for HIV.

We’re on PrEP and Doxypep, honey.

Wrong. What crippled the gay community was polio.

Grindr was fast-food sex.

Scruff was casual dining.

Met my husband on Tinder, only because his profile had brilliantly mysterious photos where you had to mentally assemble what he looked like. Was intrigued, and ultimately rewarded.

These apps have been bad for everybody

Guys would chat each other up way, way more in bars before the smartphone and their nefarious apps. It wasn’t always meant as a pickup line, sometimes you could spend all night talking and laughing with a stranger and you‘d just go home, having had a fun night out.

That’s pretty much GONE these days.

People don't chat each other up at bars and clubs? What about holiday spots? People go out to mix and mingle on holiday, surely.

Grindr is asking for serious trouble. Thats all it ever is/was/will be. Getting to know someone first is a great idea instead of running into quickies with complete strangers who do god knows what. Hookup culture aka 5-minute cum and dump is exemplary of self-destructive behavior for your mental health and possibly your physical health too.

A longtime friend of mine calls hooking up+sex in general “a sport.” That was more than enough for me to ever even considering him someone I would have in my life. 🤢

The Gay.com chat rooms circa 2000 were the best.

Grindr replaced cruising, not socialising. The downfall of the gay nightlife market - really, the nightlife market in general - has more to do with overpriced drinks and venues blasting the same shitty music as every other place.

[quote]That was more than enough for me to ever even considering him someone I would have in my life.

You described him as a "longtime friend", so you're clearly full of shit.

Grindr has been ruined by bots.

Daily I’m approached by guys who have the same exact verbiage in their response. They say they are looking for a meaningful relationship and then ask what I do for a living. When I ask them what they do, they all say they have investments.

I use Grindr more like the Sears catalog at Christmas. I circle every toy but only get the one that is the cheapest.

R34, All the bots I receive are Asian.

R30 MARY MAIDEN FAIRY!

R32 I disagree. For many people Grinder also replaced socializing. One guy will only hookup with another random guy, but then have no real social life.

In Flyoverstan, there’s an abundance of skin folds and meth.

r32 With a significant proportion of young people now not drinking alcohol its going to pose a real challenge to gay bars and clubs.

Young people still drink

R40, They do, but not as much with the widespread legalization of weed.

Grindr was good in its first few years of existence. I hooked up with hot men. Now Grindr has been ruined by trannies and entitled twinks.

On Scruff, I have made some good lasting friends and have had a years long relationship. On Scruff, once you block a tranny, it’s gone.

Sniffies is the Wild West of gay hook ups apps, and I’ve been really enjoying it. Once again, the trannies are discovering it and ruining it. There’s also a contingent of straight female prostitutes who have discovered the app.

Like gay bars. straight women and trannies ruin the gay apps for actual gay men.

[quote] Yes, because more gays today don't socialize in communal settings like a bars, clubs, restaurants, where they can meet other gays in person and interact.

Whenever I go into a gay bar it’s packed. I don’t feel there’s less people going to bars than when I was young.

I'm not paying one dime to meet someone online. And all the gay sites want to charge you money eventually.

I got some legitimate dates (coffee, walk in the park, etc.) from Craigslist back in the day. But TheMillionMommies had to squelch the personals, thinking it would stop their men from cheating.

OutInAmerica had the right idea, so of course it had to be destroyed. There is a sinister plot to prevent gays from socialising.

Mary ^

Some of them need to be shut down. The others, well, I haven’t met you just yet.

How old are you, R42?

On Scruff, the majority of the guys on there are partnered.

I’m 44 r47

What insight have you gleaned from my age?

Are you a woman or a man? Straight or gay?

Just curious, R49, since I’m twenty years older and only attract twinks with daddy issues or sketchy guys roughly my age.

He’s a trumper cunt fuck. Fuck him with a rusty crowbar.

Gay bars and clubs have virtually disappeared in my area. Covid didn't help, of course, but the trend was already set by the hookup apps and societal changes. When I was young and in my prime being "out and proud" was not realistic for most of us. We needed our own places where we could not only socialize and cruise, but feel safe. Back then, if two guys wanted to dance with each other gay bars/clubs were the only venues. The apps today do tend to be pretty toxic, and Grindr is the worst. Almost every account is a bot and/or using fake pics. If the guys in real life looked like all the profile pics on Grindr the world would be a very different place! Somehow, I don't think every guy around me is 24, with perfect pecs and a six pack. And I know that where I live whites are a minority (unlike Gridnr). Hell, I don't see that much muscle at my gym! For old guys like me, it's not hard to see through it. But what is the impact on younger gays? Do they see that and think that's who or what they are supposed to be?

I don't know that I'd go so far as to say Grindr has crippled the community -but it sure has raised some issues about race, age, body image, etc. that we still haven't grappled with.

I’m not attracted to twinks, but they are attracted to me r50

Unless they’re muscle twunks, I delete their messages

r40 My post didn't claim no young person drank but a significantly higher proportion of them are teetotal and that will affect the viability of bars into the future unless the trend is a fad that is reversed

I hate to be optimistic and sex positive on DL, but...I'm in my 60s. In very good shape, but hardly OF material. I use grindr when I travel for business. Last night I got laid by the ultimate 30-something dream stud (who was sweet, too). For those of you/us who are sex positive, who could have dreamed of this convenience when we were kids? Lighten up and enjoy your lives.

[quote]Sniffies is the Wild West of gay hook ups apps

I got an STD just reading some of the profiles on Sniffies. That site seems to be cum dump central.

Sniffies gives me the sniffles.

R57 Might give you gonorrhea also. 😷

Grindr was great for me. Still friends with several hookups, dear friends with at least one.

What part of the country, R59?

A singular story that is the EXCEPTION to the rule:

My best friend, who is 53 and still hot as balls, met another 50 year old who is hot as ball too, on Grindr last year. They were 30 miles apart and they were they only hot guys in their radius. I highly approve of this new boy friend and they are head over heels with each other.

There are INCREDIBLY LUCKY.

Grindr still sucks big time at it should be wiped from the earth .

Someone tell me more about Sniffies! Wild wast and STIs sounds right up my alley -if you'll pardon the expression. All the married guys on Scruff want to do is talk endlessly...

I have this condition where I can’t see married folks on dating apps. I see right through them, like they’re apparitions.

Sniffies is the sluttiest of the apps. It's location based and you can see which part of the city someone is logged onto it. It's got a message section where guys post their needs, many with ass in the air looking for dick, lotsa dick. it is indeed where the cumdumps flock. But it also shows who's at certain bars, hotels, cruising spots, parks, etc.

R21, I'd say toxic primarily because many guys there act like divas who think they are the best thing to ever land on this earth. Many of them will block you after you say hi; some will block after asking for personal pics. It's easy to see that you've been blocked; time it correctly, and you can see the square profile of the guy slide into oblivion. Some guys will block you after you've hooked up with them. Other guys let their drug addiction and/or mental illness take center stage. You can practically feel the dysfunction leaping out of the phone.

r65 Thanks for your reply. Have you ever had any good experiences on Grindr?

“Sniffies” is why you see the second urinal covered, the middle stall locked or out of order, and the communal bathroom door propped open in most commercial locations, or an out of the way mezzanine hotel restroom locked and “unavailable” earlier and later hours nowadays.

Corporate stores figured out gays were hooking up there using the app. This is why they hate us.

r30 I think you're right. There was a time in my mid 20s when hooking up was fuel for my ego and I enjoyed it a lot but it pretty quickly started to feel weird and dark being intimate with people I have no connection with.

Is Grindr losing popularity?

I certainly hope it is, R69.

R66, yes, I've had some good times. In fact, I hooked up with the hottest guy I've ever seen on Grindr. (He had a huge dick to boot.) That was a real coup for me. Most times were enjoyable, but I help ensure it's that way by being picky. I don't consider anyone who seems soul-less, which eliminates quite a few guys, or who gives off Fatal Attraction vibes. I can always jack off. But it means lots of time wasted on Grindr with not much to show for it.

r71 Pleased to hear you had good experiences. I wonder what percentage of Grindr users overall regard it as more positive than negative?

I have met some really wonderful guys on both Grindr and Scruff. I don’t expect the maiden aunt brigade to approve, and that’s fine, but the guy I’m seeing now I met in Grindr, and after thinking I’d never want to get married again…I’m rethinking.

I also had a long term thing with a wonderful guy who is so far out of my league that I don’t know why my appeal. The guy is built like Superman but he’d always tell me he loved me because I made him feel safe. He moved to Australia two years ago, and I still miss him.

That’s a very sweet R73

[quote]Grindr replaced cruising, not socialising. The downfall of the gay nightlife market - really, the nightlife market in general - has more to do with overpriced drinks and venues blasting the same shitty music as every other place.

The ability to cruise has been eliminated with a single generation of smartphones and dating apps. Back in the Pleistocene era where I was from, you had to know how to cruise and know your cruising style. Were you a Significant Glance Across the Bar person? Did you slip into the empty barstool next to your target and start a conversation? Were you one of the brazen ones who would approach someone and say, "I think you're so hot"? If your quarry headed outside for a smoke, did you follow and ask to bum a cigarette? Did you send him a drink and hope he would come over to thank you? So many approaches.

Did you leave the bar immediately? Did you hang out and finish your drinks? Did you extend the dance into the wee hours before going home together at last call? Did you realize halfway through the cruise that this never would work out, but you had fun with a new friend anyway?

Us eldergays need to teach the whippersnappers a workshop on how one cruises properly.

R55- What is OF?

Are you serious R76?

OF = Only Fans.

R77- Yes, that's why I asked. I guess he's implying he's not HOT stuff not someone people want to see naked.

r75 Before you start trying to teach others, you might want to learn the difference between flirting and cruising.

Didn't the poster say he was 60 R78? He said he was 60 and in good shape but not someone people want to see on Only Fans because he's [bold]60 years old[/bold].

That makes sense to me. Most people don't want to see 60 year olds on Only Fans because it's primarily hot young people. Did I get it right R55?

I'm R55 and yes. I meant I'm fit and attractive, but not exactly underwear model material.

[quote] These apps have been bad for everybody

For uggos like you.

[quote] Corporate stores figured out gays were hooking up there using the app.

It’s not an app.

Sniffies is cruising. Lots of fun. Like the olden days.

Does Larry Craig know about Sniffies?

He was sniffling after fact.

R2- I miss the Automat.

In the years since, the world has been a tougher, itchier place.

Sniffies isn't exactly the classic cruising game. It's about sex and nothing but sex, but... I've used it and it gets guys real close to you that will meet up in cars, parks, and shit, but it's still an app with pics and all the usual app things. The difference is the map and the fact it doesn't even pretend to care about relationships like Grindr. It's not the same thing as going to the woods or library or beach or wherever and playing that game where there may be no one there, or, ugh, a straight, or other gays that you aren't into, or hopefully gays that you are into. The thrill isn't the same...

Stranger by the Lake

It's probably like claiming Netflix killed DVD rentals. It's not as simple as that. Time moved on.

oopsie!

NEVER used the sex apps.

I meet my men for sex the old fashioned way ( no , I've never hired a male prostitute)- a bathhouse.

R55-What does OF stand for?

r92 That is shocking and disgraceful

r82 Harsh-they could be gorgeous and handsome