Let's be Dee Plorable

I'm that 2016 dragon she's gonna be chasing for the rest of her sad, miserable life.

I'm Dee's high-school graduation.

I didn't happen. Dee's not much for schoolin' an' books. 'Cept the Bible.

I'm a job as a Las Vegas maid!

Thank God Lara Logan has absolute PROOF that the Key Bridge collapse was TERRORISM!

I'm the bleach-blonde hair and giant cubic zirconia jewelry.

I'm the scar tissues from the 12 breast implant surgeries since 1997. I make mammograms difficult, but faking up an immune disorder that flares up when it's time to spend time with my step kids or do anything that doesn't involve sitting in my she cave closet/makeup room.

I'm her ex's revenge porn that her new husband, the guy who inherited his grandpa's million dollar metal galvanizing business from jacks off to

I'm the Bobbie Brown number 17 way too dark lip liner to go with her Clinique Think Pink lipstick. To this day she thinks she's supporting the girl from Warrants Cherry Pie video

I'm the awkward pussy eating to Kimberly Guilfoyle. Why are all these phone cameras here?

I'm feather boas. They're bringing me back ya'll!

I'm the Milwaukees Best beer, Pall Mall cigarettes, dreamcatcher hanging in the kitchen window of the double wide, and the three arrests for domestic violence.

I'm the the cliffhangers in the Jimmy Choos. And the too deep voice. And the butt sex eagerly suggested. No my name wasn't ever Christopher. It was always Christie

I’m squeezing 20lbs of potatoes into a 5lb sequined sack.

I’m the lipstick on the pig.

I'm the old pickup truck with a bumper sticker saying Trump won.

I'm the Eagle 120 Menthol ultra-discount cigarettes she buys by the carton at the gas station.

I'm Kim Davis, Miss Dee Plorable to all you elites. I got married but muh cunt got wet so ah fucked another dude behind mah husband's back and blew a bastard out muh cunt. The I diborced mah husband and married the guy I been fuckin'. But muh cunt got wet so ah fucked another dude behind mah husband's back and blew a bastard out muh cunt. The I diborced mah husband and married the guy I been fuckin'. But muh cunt got wet so ah fucked another dude behind mah husband's back and blew a bastard out muh cunt. The I diborced mah husband and married the guy I been fuckin'.

Who was the first guy.

A'hm against fags gettin' married, 'cause it's a sacrament, y'all.

I'm the Trump/"God Bless The USA" Bible that will arrive in 4-6 weeks. I am a bargain at $60 (how much is your eternal salvation worth?)

Good job, r17. That was really vulgar.

I'm Victory47. Top notes: hairspray, denture odor, makeup. Middle notes: dirty money, toilet cake and fabric softener sheets. Bottom notes: Ben Gay, b.o. and shit.

I am the fake patriotism and even more fake Christian piety which will be proudly on display when ever a TV camera is within a five mile radius.

R21 IS Candace Cameron Bure, coquettishly brandishing her bible for Dayspring whilst gyrating to a Lana Del Ray track.

I'm the three abortions. She really doesn't think of me much except to thank God she doesn't have snot nosed from that abusive meth head she was with in her 20s. Plus that nice black she used to work with. Can you imagine?

Dee admires Caitlyn Jenner only because CJ supports Trump and detests MtF trans athletes.

I'm the bedazzled MAGA hat with matching bedazzled American flag tank top.

Dee listens intently to anti-abortion advocate Miss Marsha from Tennessee. Did she know: 3 abortions pregnant from 3 black guys in Mississippi?

I’m FAAAAAATTT. And my hairstyle is from 1996.

I'm Dee's husband, Andy, lying back and thinking of Barack.

I’m Dee’s giant heap of credit card hock, and I just grew by $60 (plus shipping and handling) to finance the purchase the Trump-branded bible at r19

I'm the degree from the University of Facebook, where I do mah research!

I'm Dee, waiting patiently by the mailbox for her stack of Trump Bibles and gold hightops to arrive.

I wish death on everyone who does sit on the same pedestal I do.

Doesnt* we can’t have disagreement EVER

I told my boyfriend we had to break up but that we could still be cousins.

After attending a Trump rally, Nichole, my best friend, and I were so excited, we went back to her double-wide and scissored for over an hour.

I want my face to be the real crime.

DIY bleached hair.

I'm the fake LV purse, fake nails, halo wiglet, half a pound of makeup, padded Spanx over two pairs of pants hose and electric blue body con dress paired with 5 inch heels. I hate drag queens even though I brought a picture of Alyssa Edwards in for inspiration at my last bleaching treatment