Trump is selling Bibles now

The King James Version? How many MAGAts can even understand that?

It’s actually Lee Greenwood who’s selling Trump-endorsed Bibles, but I’m sure DJT is getting a cut of each sale.

Blasphemous huckster.

Guaranteed to burst into flames or your money back

^ lol

Oh look. Another Trump thread.

R6 is about to start ten different threads about how crime is on the rise because the New York Post said so

4-6 weeks for delivery? Are they being shipped from hell?

Was the title changed to The Trump Bible? And embossed with tacky fake gold lettering.

Limited edition upside down Trump bibles

He makes Elmer Gantry look like Saint Francis of Assisi.

Tijuana bibles?

The King James Version is literally free on the internet. You can get it on your phone for nothing.

Selling your paintings is much klassier.

I pray every day for our President! I'll order 50 Bibles!

This is the Murrican version, you godless sodomite!

Jesus Christ...Do Something!!

The King James Version is public domain, so no need to pay royalties!

r14 is also:

[quote]Oh look. Another Trump thread.

PATHETIC! reminds me of old Sonny Bono, both clowns.Waiting for him to sell his own “holy shit” out of his fat ass.

He is supposed to be worth $5 billion because of his Trump media stock yet he is still peddling trinkets to his supporters.

From the FAQs section of the website:

“WHAT IF MY BIBLE HAS STICKY PAGES?”

Maybe he'll be struck by lightning.

Do MAGAts really think this man has ever voluntarily entered a church?

If only I had one strand of his hair.

We have replaced all pictures of Jesus with Trump! WOO HOO

Imagine the degrading shit he'll do for money after he loses the election?

He's a Christian- he's a good man! *sobs*

Tsk. Tsk. Hawking bibles during Holy Week.

I wouldn’t put it past him to fake his own death and then pretend to get resurrected on Easter Sunday.

Trump hawking his favorite book...the Bible

I hope he skimmed Exodus and Deuteronomy!

@r29, We're almost there...

R4 is on the same age as Mary Trump

[quote]If only I had one strand of his hair.

Then you'd just be putting a hex on some innocent polyester.

I think the continued, logic-defying adoration of Trump, and the pass Israel gets over annihilating people for real estate, have together pretty much put the fork in my view of mankind.

The Christians and Evangelicals have simply swapped out Jesus for Trump The Redeemer.

I assume it omits Psalm 131:

My heart is not proud, Lord,

my eyes are not haughty;

I do not concern myself with great matters

or things too wonderful for me.

2 But I have calmed and quieted myself,

I am like a weaned child with its mother;

like a weaned child I am content.

3 Israel, put your hope in the Lord

both now and forevermore.

Sad but true, I have poor ass maga relatives, living near the poverty line who will buy this to ‘own the libs’.

R38 Yeah, that'll show 'em.

On our first date, I took Melania to my Bible study meeting.

[quote]Imagine the degrading shit he'll do for money after he loses the election?

He'll be selling Jim Bakker's doomsday food buckets.

Of all the versions, doesn't the King James require the highest level of reading comprehension? Never picked one up. Went to Catholic schools and they used the Good News Bible, IIRC.

The Douay–Rheims translation is probably a bit harder, r42.

Tacky - of course.

But, given his fundie nutbag base, it's just the incentive to donate to him without actually "donating" to him if you know what I mean.

OP- I have one thing to say – thank the Lord Jesus for Donald Trump!

R37? I can beat that! I mean, I'm an atheist, but I know my Bible!

[quote]“Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. (Matthew 7:15).

[quote]"But false prophets also arose among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you, who will secretly bring in destructive heresies, even denying the Master who bought them, bringing upon themselves swift destruction." 2 Peter 2:1

[quote]"...every spirit that does not confess Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist, which you heard was coming and now is in the world already." 1 John 4:3

[quote]"For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions" 2 Timothy 4:3

JFC, this is fucking boring. You get the idea. So glad I'm an atheist.

Thou shall not eat steak in a dignified manner.

He would be better off promoting the graphic novel version.

The Trump Bible has a big arrow on the front so you know which way up to hold it when you're posing for the media. (Have we forgotten that incident?)

Is this the same bible that he spanks porn stars with?

Forget if they can understand the nuances of the King James Version…

I am used to MAGAts blurring the lines between state and church, but this takes it to a whole new level! Because with this version, (act NOW!) you ALSO get at NO charge to you:

— a copy of the Declaration of Independence — a copy of the Bill of Rights — a copy of the “US” Constitution (the one that defines the rights of all tabloids) — a copy of the Pledge of Allegiance — handwritten lyrics to some bullshit country song that makes people think they’re patriots when they sing it.

WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK?!?

I'm Catholic, so was raised with The New Jerusalem Bible. Still, a woman of my acquaintaince (long story) gifted me with a copy of the King James Bible after I spent a week watching her cat. My gift was of the PTL Version. I keep both versions in my library, and refer to them as needed (generally for disagreement). I sometimes to have to pray to eliminate the hatred that I feel bubbling inside me.........

"What if my Bible has sticky pages?"

OK, I am 100% convinced that the web designer is a gay with a sense of humor. The types that buy this would already be very familiar with the fact that Bible pages can be hard to separate.

Yeah, yeah, I now the retort. "They don't read them." But they do. They just read them very selectively and not that often. But enough to be familiar with this issue, which is common with lots of bibles.

This is 100% a dirty joke. And I love it. Slay, queen, whoever you are.

I always liked the King James version. But the NIV is the real Christian hate manual. The King James version doesn’t end every sentence with “…and the homosexual sinners” like the NIV does, especially in the New Testament. In the NIV, for every list of sinners they add on “the homosexuals” whereas the King James hardly mentions us.

If they read it, it could be really enlightening to MAGAs.

Come join me on Cameo Donald, sure it's not that much money but it's a whole new pool of people that have not been grifted yet.

Paying 60 bucks for a Bible isn't enough. When you go to do that, they try to cross-sell (no pun intended) you the Lee Greenwood 40th anniversary coin for another 60. "The first 2,500 orders will receive this amazing coin at the low price of $59.95. Order today!"

Apparently it is the NIV not the KJV. When Trump finds out the KJV would’ve been free and they paid to license the NIV, the catsup is going to fly!

What is Rudy doing at present?

[quote]What is Rudy doing at present?

Forty years to life?

NIV makes much more sense for gullible/credulous MAGATs' fifth-grade level reading ability. They'd probably get pissed off by getting sent something like the KJV that's above their intellectual capacity and blame someone for infiltrating Trump’s "bible initiative" and faking a smart Bible to confuse them

I wonder if they failed to unclick the box that would enable them to receive weekly "inspirational" Trump-themed bible verses for an additional $4.95/month. They're the type.

Proof yet again that God doesn't exist. If God was real, Trump would've been struck by lightning decades ago.

He’s literally been AUTOGRAPHING them for years.

[quote]Easy-to-read, large print, and slim design, this Bible invites you to explore God’s Word anywhere, any time. This bible has been designed so that it delivers an easy reading experience in the trusted King James Version translation.

Large print AND slim design? Easy reading experience? In other words, it's edited to fuck. Would be interesting to see just what they removed.

They wanted to use the NIV originally, but back in 2021 there was a backlash against this project and the copyright owners of the NIV refused to allow it

They might want to check out Revelation 22:18

[quote]For I testify to everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this book: If anyone adds to these things, God will add to him the plagues that are written in this book; and if anyone takes away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part from the Book of Life, from the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book.

Oh My Lanta - Donald had better stay in his own lane. There's nothing I love more than Jesus except money.

I re-wrote The Holy Bible.

Love thy neighbor who poisons the blood of the country with his ass in an extermination camp like thyself.

Countdown to Trump Snake Oil.

My guess would be they removed all that libtard crap that Jesus talked about R64. Kept in and even bolded the parts where the old men had multiple wives and tons of kids. Underlined the passages where there was killing of their enemies. Maybe "translated" a few things to jive with the new prosperity Bibe outlook.

*Bible

[quote]Countdown to Trump Snake Oil

Isn't that just exactly what a bible is?

I want to make an AI generated fake news story that Obama is coming out with his own Quran as a counter move. I wanna see how many boomers on facebook fall for it.

[quote]R55: In the NIV, for every list of sinners they add on “the homosexuals” whereas the King James hardly mentions us.

The King James Version is the one that popularized the non-biblical term 'sodomites,' unjustifiably adding references to what Christians have always believed to be us. Of course, the translators were probably preaching at the King.

But yes, the NIV went out of its way to make it more explicitly anti-gay.

R25 if only HE had one strand of his hair

Exodus 20:14 Thou shalt not commit adultery.

Growing up Catholic, the KJV was next to the shitter in our parish hall, so people could wipe their asses with it.

Only cheating by Democrats matters, Liz. If a Republican or Independent does it, it's totally fine. Excused, even! Actually, it makes the guy more relatable and lovable.

Heathen

^ Aunt Ester

Not that he risks many interviews, but in the event of his ego unable to say no - the hack should slip in, after listening to drivel about MAGA and ending world wars, this: "Mr Trump, you sell Bibles. Do you believe in the Virgin Birth, in The Resurrection, and that Jesus Christ is our Lord and Saviour?" Love to see how he handles that one on the spot.

^ " Do you believe in the Virgin Birth"

If I did I'd be in a lot less trouble and would have been married fewer times

The most sacrilegious concoction on earth is a Trump autographed Bible

^^^

Not cheesecake, Blanche?

So absurd.

Dump reads the Bible like Pope Francis grabs women by the pussy.

The bible America deserves.

The gaggle discusses.

Yet Another Money Laundering Scheme. The Bible is in the public domain, and he's charging $60 a copy.

I mean, a Bible signed by The Anti-Christ Himself is probably worth [italic]SOMETHING[/italic], but yeesh.

It must be admitted that Satan has a brutally satirical wit. He must be scarcely able to believe that he owns such a keenly willing useful idiot as Trump.

Did anyone read @r87? I started hate reading it, then got even more inflamed when I read the author’s name. But then I read and appreciated the nuance. Pretty apt and funny take on it.

Thanks r87!

[quote]The Trump Bible is the Bible America deserves

And Trump University was the higher education that America deserved.

Two Corinthians ...

He can’t even say Psalms 23? Geez. What a fuckwit

Tiffi almost got chucked down the pan..

People are buying them for Black Masses because they’re so completely unholy.

Trump had a bulk discount at the Abortion Hut. I just wish one of his baby mamas would've come forward with the receipts. But it probably wouldn't have made a difference to his cult, after all they will buy $60 Bibles from him.

R94 Solid Gold 🥇

[quote]He’s literally been AUTOGRAPHING them for years.

What, like "To Nancybeth, love God"?

[quote]People are buying them for Black Masses because they’re so completely unholy.

Satanists should come out and endorse it just to troll Trump.

If only he called them “bibbles”….

It’s not tacky, it’s craven and disgusting as is he.

and Jesus wept

Infuriating and insulting to the millions of non-Christians in the US.

Also infuriating and insulting to the millions of actual Christians in the US.

Those are his voters and cultists, r106.

This is probably all the proof we need that Trump is the Antichrist.......

A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,

Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it

Reel shadows of the indignant desert birds.

And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,

Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?

[quote]Infuriating and insulting to the millions of non-Christians in the US

Yet hardly anyone stands up and counters that kind of statement.