Let’s be a Grindr profile

Who uses Grindr in 2024 gramps?

Who cares enough to be scouring which app to use?

R1 is taking anon loads on Sniffies

Damn right r3

Prep and doxy prep are a miracle

Condoms are for fearful losers

DoxyPEP* dumbass

Enjoy the ride while it lasts

Enjoy your sexless unloved.existence r5!

I'm the fat guy, who won't date a fellow fatty, that gets mad at those who put no fats in their profile.

I am the the dubious body pics of the individual who says they are of "average" build at 5'9 and 230lbs

I’m the okay looking “23 year old,” who is probably in his thirties, “looking for G€n” men.

I’m the profile picture, in use since the days of MySpace.

I'm the headless pic that makes you think Dahmer was my last boyfriend

I'm the profile pic with more filters than a Nikon factory.

I'm the 49 yo who looks like a rough 60 only looking for younger and am NOT generous.

I’m the profiles in general, listing posters’ distance in order from 10 yards away to just on the far side of the planet Neptune.

My looks peaked at 17.

I'm the same three undesirables who appear in your local feed every day. I'm the only profiles that appear because you refused to pay $10/mo. for what amounts to window shopping.

I'm China collecting your data!

R1 - I’ve NEVER used Grindr or any of the other apps.

I only have sex by to the going to the bathhouse.

R10- I’m the profile picture taken when Jimmy Carter was President.

I'm the eternally cute 25 yo twink whose single profile pic was taken with a digital camera.

I'm the sad sack whose profile is about 6 long paragraphs that no one will ever read.

I'm all of your swipe choices. If I'm halfway cute, I guarantee that I will live 500 or miles miles away. I am most of your options.

I’m the linked Instagram profile which shows the profile photos were taken in 2017

I’m the emaciated, high maintenance femme POC kween in lip gloss and a cutoff D&G tee, making duck lips under my nose ring. Please read the paragraph of rules about contacting me. “im super chill and laid back. No racists! No old whites! Or fats! Masc only!”

I’m a 7 at best with mediocre anal hygiene.

I'm a 4 who thinks he's an 8 and is only into 10s. Grinder SUCKS! It's made me bitter, angry and alone.

I'm the guy who is ONLY looking for friends. Send nude pics for reply.

I'm the guy who measures his dick starting from the anus. I'm 9", bitches!

I'm not interested in relationships. I'm into sexy slutty guys with big dicks.

R6, I still use condoms (Skyns in partic). I’m also a millennial. I fucked a handful of dudes in the last few weeks. Most of them are on Prep and Doxy too. One in partic seemed annoyed when I got out the condom, but guess who first messaged after the deed was done asking for more…. 😎

If you’re hot enough and do the job right, it won’t be an issue. (In person at least - over the apps this can be an issue esp in NYC).

As for why? Well, I have a high sex drive, I have it fairly often, but I also think it’s kinda insane to be taking an antibiotic prophylactically that regularly. But what do I know? 🤷🏽‍♂️

R29

R31, you realize my post was in response to r6, who insinuated that “condoms are for fearful losers” and implied that those who use them have a “sexless existence”?

I'm the fat, ugly gay with a huge cock. He'll pull more hot bottoms than the hottest tiny meat guy.

I'm the loser that posts his Twitter page and then when you go to his page, it's only open to those who have permission.

I'm the ever-increasing men who want "T" or "women" only.

Get the fvck off a gay male dating app!

R32 when guys says that shit to me I tell them bye bye

Asian bots who all have the exact same script.

I'm the disappointed fats and fems.

R37. “I’m here to find a good soul and love, etc. etc.”. There are so many in LA.

I’m the messy bedroom in the background.

If he can’t keep a bed clean, then he surely can’t keep his man cave tidy.

[quote][R37]. “I’m here to find a good soul and love, etc. etc.”. There are so many in LA.

They all say they invest in crypto.

I get rid of them when they ask what I’m looking for. I say, “To be fucked by hot Asian dick.” The conversation is deleted by them in less than two minutes. 😂

I'm the co-worker you saw during business hours. We won't be discussing this further.

I'm Greg's 32 profiles.

Sorry, but I’ve never been on Grindr.

Have a nice day.

I’m the bottom posting pictures of himself with a huge taco platter and a bathroom mirror selfie in front of a toilet. Thanks for the mental image, but no thanks.

I am the Vers Top whose only 3 pictures are of hiss ass.

Pictures from 2007, with matching frosty tips to boot.

I'm the total top who, coincidentally, and for tonight only, is looking to bottom for the first time. Other true tops only need apply. You will see my same ad every weekend.

I'm the time waster into endless messaging and conversations that run for nights on end, with no intention of hooking up.

I'm the 'negative' status, yet 'last tested in 2018'.

Related to R49. I'm the guy who contacts you with "Hi" and from then on wants you to carry a conversation to which they will minimally participate.

I'm the once hot but now past it eldergay. I have one or two recent profile pics and a whole slew of circa 1987 'heyday' photos.

'Cause if you close your eyes while fucking me, it will be like you're fucking that hot guy from 40 years ago!

I'm the toothpaste splatter on the bathroom mirror selfie.

51 posts and no…”I’m the filthy mirror in the selfie” ?

Ummmmmm the ludes are kicking in

I'm the super hot guy that doesn't even know what Grindr is.

Lmao. These are gold.

I'm the Black guy with a 'sexual racism exists in this app' strapline on my profile.

However, I only ever hook up with white dudes.

HI DON! How's post-CNN life going for you?

I’m the small army of walking dead jittery meth queens on the app at 7 AM. Terrifying!

I'm Thomas Robert's profile. Ass shots only.

I'm Bambi Galitzine

I love the bitches acting like they're too good for Grindr. Grindr still has the most guys on it. Just because you deleted the app three times this week doesn't mean you don't know that fact.

Now, my contribution to this thread: I'm the profile that says 'visiting", but has been on your grid for over a year.

I'm Smiley Face.

I do NOT host. I do NOT drive. No CarPlay or public.

I’m in my 30s, not out, and live with my parents. 🤫 Now come pick me up!

I’m the pink and/or aqua hair. Be careful! If you even find me attractive you’ll be walking on eggshells with my extreme far left views of the world, but I’m a super open, accepting person. I hate people who discriminate. Also, I’m only looking for guys who look like peak 90s Brad Pitt.

I'm the local conservative politician who won't use pictures of his face

I've sponsored lots of anti-gay legislation