It's time for me to stop drinking. Again.

^^in the past 4 months leading up that contributed to my relapse.

Sorry, i accidentally selected a portion of my text and deleted it before posting.

You did it before, OP - you can do it again. And now you know for sure that you’ll have to stay away from alcohol in the future, and find other ways to deal with life’s stresses and disappointments.

I get sober all the time! It’s easy!

I remember your other thread about quitting drinking; I quit drinking around the same time in Oct 2022 and thankfully have remained sober.

I hope you're able to get it licked again. AA catches some flak on here but it's helped me.

Good luck.

Thanks, r2 and r4. i found a lot of support here last year when i went cold turkey. I don't feel good and my health is suffering.

I can do this. You all have been apart of my sobriety last year.

I'm going to try again for this. I guess i can't get this part of life right, no matter that it developed in my late 30s because i didn't drink before my mid to late 30s.

I'm sick of being sick, yet again. I have so few family/friends and the losses last year really kicked my ass to the curb. But no excuses anymore.

I think you need more support, OP. Relapses do happen. But you can't start with relapsing as an option. I'm not saying that that's what you're doing.

I have had alcohol issues myself and, in my previous job, worked with addicts in drug court. After a while, I could pick out a couple of them who knew they could get sober but also knew that the judge would allow them a couple or even a few relapses. After a while, they ended up in jail.

Well you know what to do OP. R4 remembers you so this is obviously a cycle. I think I remember you too. My mother is an alcoholic and in conjunction with my terrifyingly violent father - cruelly and systematically destroyed my childhood and left me with such serious issues that she also destroyed my adulthood. I left the country on a one way ticket when I was 18 and that was the catalyst for her to go to rehab and stop drinking. She has never drunk since. She found AA and god.

Because of my long experience with alcoholism, I have little sympathy for people like you but I do have great respect and time for people like you who DO stop drinking and DON'T start drinking again. Do it any way you can that works for you but do it.

There's no "trying". You either stop drinking or you don't R5. You either do it or you don't. What you do has effects other people - sometimes in very serious ways which alcoholics don't see.

Good luck.

r6 i think i will start attending AA meetings again. i had a great one that i did daily a year ago when i wasn't working. I'll have to find something else that isn't daily but i do need the structure again.

I do need support as i don't have much now. I will have to find different support than what I relied on over a year ago when i was unemployed. I'll work on it.

I'm sick of feeling sad and lonely again. That's what has happened over the past 7 months losing 3 of the most important lives in my life.

Wishing you the best OP. At least you know you have a problem. A close friend of mine is a booze addict but he doesn't even think he has a problem...

r9 I know I have it because it's the only thing that makes me feel normal, accepted. Despite the limited achievements I've garnered.

God it took me SO many off again/on again "quits" before I finally stopped for good. I really empathize with you.

Go easy on yourself, but take it seriously. If you know, deep down, that drinking just isn't for you? Quit fighting that knowledge. It's not going to magically change.

Getting a year is huge and proves you can do it. Now just make it for good.

Thank you for that comment.

OP, while I don't share your drinking issue, I can absolutely understand the pain issues and I know how hard it is to combat them, whether it's because of an addiction or depression or any manner of things that keep us from taking care of ourselves. It's very difficult, and the worst pattern is staying strong for a few days and then buckling.

I also had to smile when I read about your clothing situation. I lost a lot of weight during the pandemic. I had gone through a very bad depression in 2019 and I found myself gaining a crazy amount of weight. I finally decided in mid 2020 that I was done and I put together a small home gym for myself and really just changed everything. I got down to my college weight and I got rid of everything that was too big for me and bought all size small/medium shirts and 32 waist pants. That lasted for about a year. Then I had a recurrence of cancer and I knew it meant I would gain weight because I did the first time. I fought it as long as I could, but the spread just happened. I kept telling myself I would lose the weight but I haven't. And I can't bring myself to buy nice new clothes so I pretty much wear sweatpants and t-shirts to the few places I go these days. I am hoping to break the cycle now that I'm on maintenance chemo, but I have a lot of pain and discomfort still, but I use it as an excuse.

My longwinded point is that eventually you will hit a point when you're ready. And when you are, it will happen. That's not an excuse for you to keep drinking, just to know not to beat yourself up too badly when you do slip. You'll find it. I wish you well.

Oprahzempic to the rescue, you fat whore!!!!

I’m sorry for all the pain of all types. I believe you can do this.

r13, thank you for that.

You and the gambler are bringing me down.

I've been so stressed out with work lately and usually don't drink. I had one last night and was thinking of drinking all this weekend to get my mind off the stress when I saw this.

Once you are a pickle you can never be a cucumber again

Good luck to anyone struggling, especially r13 and OP.

Just smoke copious amounts of pot, silly!

OP there are online meetings 24/7. Go to AA.org and look for them. There are links for you to use to access meetings. Don’t spend a lot of time beating yourself up. Unlike another poster, I know that alcoholics are sick people trying to get better. You have some insight into your own behavior, which will be helpful in your recovery. I wish you all the best.

OP prayer works:I prayed to God everyday I would never drink again if he would allow me to never go back to those fuckin AA meetings.Great message but the assholes at those meetings ,in person and online-been sober since 2006!

I'm another one rooting for you! No advice, just hopes.

If I can quit drinking cold turkey (went in DTs) you can too, OP. I am pulling for you.

Best Wishes to you OP. I stopped drinking in 2022 when my A1C hit 6.0. My Dr. went ahead and medicated me anyway with Metformin. I lost 10 lbs, and my A1C has now dropped to 5.5, and I’m no longer “pre-diabetic”. I couldn’t be happier. Quitting drinking will have nothing but positive results for you.

[quote]OP there are online meetings 24/7.

Here's the list:

[quote] it's the only thing that makes me feel normal, accepted. Despite the limited achievements I've garnered.

This is the problem. You're never going to feel "normal" and accepted. Accept that.

I agree that the gambler thread is a downer. I hope OP is not also the gambler.

I'm not the gambler. I'm unlucky as fuck and I don't have enough money to gamble, plus I don't like it. I barely am surviving at the salary i make in a studio apartment, and i certainly have no relatives to fall back on.

My sober date is December 6th, 2021. The mood swings were awful for the first three or so months but I just used an occasional edible to help take the edge off, being careful not to replace one habit with another. And I lost fifteen pounds just by not drinking.

No DT, but I had begun to experience some symptoms of alcoholic neuropathy on occasion, for a while. That's scary shit. In addition to daily life, I need my hands to draw, paint, sew, and sculpt for my career, and all of my hobbies. Skills I've spent a lifetime developing. It was a no-brainer. I can't imagine giving all that up. Especially for a substance abuse problem.

I quit cold turkey, and never looked back. I don't have the patience, nor the need for meetings, and wasn't quite yet at a point that I needed rehab. But it doesn't make me a better person because I got sober without it. It just means I found a way that worked for me. But I had to do the work.

I lost sixty pounds, and look and feel better than I have in years. Going on 2½ years alcohol-free, and am grateful I was able to do it alone. No regrets.

Find something that works for you, OP, and stick to it. That's been the key, in my experience.

Some people are just strong-willed, like R30. I'm pretty strong-willed and quit drinking by myself. However, OP doesn't sound like he is that strong-willed. When it comes down to it, it's your decision. But some people just do need a support person or support group.

Hey, everyone -

OP here. Just wanted to report I'm 3 days and 6 hours sober. I feel much clearer in my head (obviously) and my facial bloat is starting to lessen.

I re-started my medications yesterday (blood pressure, thyroid, vites and a few supps) and refilled my fridge with good food, vegetables, fruits, etc.

I cleaned my kitchen, took out the trash, did some laundry, made my bed, vacuumed.

I woke up today without an alarm (or snoozing/re-snoozing my alarm 3 or 4 times) and BEFORE 7:15, and didn't roll over and go back to sleep! That's a major one for me. I have a very flexible job and am able to get into the office in the morning when I want, which was generally around 10 - 10:30, usually having stopped at a drive thru for a shitty breakfast. Right now I'm eating something I prepared, with my own coffee and starting off the day in a calm, well-balanced, not-hungover way and man, does it feel good after four months of just feeling like utter shit and usually being sick to my stomach (and on the toilet for the first part of the day). Today I plan on starting walking again as well.

I'm glad I'm pulling myself out of this hellhole. Just wanted to update people that may have been watching or offered kind words of encouragement. Also, to those who thought of me as weak. I've done this before, and I'll do it again. I'm DOING it again already :)

Have a great day, all.

I recommend kratom. I used it to stop drinking AND smoking. It's all natural, you mix crushed up plant and mix it with water, like matcha tea. I recommend mitraman .

I'm glad to hear that you are doing good! Keep it up and I'm cheering for you!

Really good to hear the positive stories in this thread, hope all of you are continuing to hang tough!

I haven't had a drink since November 9, 2013. I used to go to AA a lot. I still have many friends in it. During the pandemic, I went to the lgbt CMA meetings, crystal meth anon. I'm not a meth person but the gay meth groups on zoom are great. If you go to a few, you'll connect and make some friends. I'm a big fan of AA, but I know it's not for everyone. Back in 2012, I didn't think I'd ever be able to not drink. Now I would never want to drink again. I see people in trouble because of it all the time, I work at a rehab. The hardest is just getting the first few months to a year. After a few years, it's pretty easy. The best part is going to the doctor and reading all the health questions, so many of them are about drinking, and how often you drink. It's pretty cool to skip that section entirely.

R33 I love kratom too!

Remember HALT:

Hungry

Angry

Lonely

Tired

These are the times when you're susceptible to relapse. That's when you HALT (stop what you're thinking of doing, i.e., heading over to the liquor store).

Hungry: Eat something good and nourishing. Can just be a hard-boiled egg, a nice slice of cheese.

Angry: Switch gears. Switch scenery, if possible. Head outside.

Lonely: Call a friend. Get on Datalounge.

Tired: Take a nice, long, hot shower. Go to bed early.

R37 I’d rather drink than eat a hard-boiled egg. And I’ve been sober longer than a lot of you have been alive.

OP, go for the Haagen-Dazs.

OP- Your struggles with alcohol sound like my struggles with sweets 🍭 . I’ve been on the wagon now for 43 days in a row – but it’s not easy.

I am 14 years sober last December 15th. For me now, I have no desire. However, prior I just remember the pain I went through at the end and vowed that I wouldn't do it again.

I don't feel moderation wouldn't work for me as I don't want that challenge/struggle.

Hi Countess Luann/OP!

R38, whatever works. I am happy for you.

OP, glad you're back on track. Waking up sober feels 1000 times better than drinking ever will.

God, you're not kidding,, r43. I was so grateful to feel a bit of peace and well-being this morning that I've missed over the past 4 months of drinking.

I had a year sobriety before I went back out on November 9th (r36 ! How weird is that?!) and it felt so good to get back to feeling somewhat at peace and with it; not feeling that panic of "what did i text/type/say" last night, the sick, on the toilet feeling, the inability to actually concentrate on anything until after 12 or 1pm. I've been incredibly productive over the past two days, both at home and work.

This feeling is worth it.

OP, remember this feeling and if you start getting that urge, take a deep breath and remember how good you felt this morning. And hopefully tomorrow morning, etc. Agree with HALT, and redirect if you need to. You may find some guided meditations are helpful to redirect your thoughts/actions. I like getting out for a walk, and don't bring any money or a credit card with me, so I can't give in and buy a bottle. A 30 minute walk is usually enough for me to change my mindset. If it's not, I keep going.

R44 Right? I work with someone who drinks a lot and I get panicky texts about what happened last night, etc. I love not being the author of those texts. Also, my boyfriend has only ever known me as someone who doesn't drink and that's pretty awesome too, cause the boyfriend before him knew drunk, sloppy me, all too well.

OP, you don't have to stop forever, just don't drink today. You can drink tomorrow. And tomorrow, tell yourself to wait until the next day to drink. Just literally one day at a time.

Good for you, OP!

To the cunts who posted nasty stuff: What the hell are you thinking? Pointless bitchery doesn't justify trying to rip down someone desperate to change their life for the better! Go fuck yourselves!

Thanks, everyone! I'm now at 4 days, 5 hours, and I received a 100 hours sober badge!

Also, according to my Quit Drinking app, I've saved $50 already (not really, because I actually shopped and bought food instead of alcohol) and I've passed a whopping 42 drinks by!

I've lost 2 lbs as well, although it really doesn't feel like it, but slow and steady wins the race!!

Happy Friday, all :)

It's Friday night, and for the past 4 months, Friday meant I had my 2 bottles of wine and would already have sucked down the first 2 glasses and continued until I passed out. Inevitably, I'd wake up in the middle of the night and raid the fridge, eating some weird, make-shift meal that I'd discover the next morning as I'd usually have left something on the counter that should have been returned to the fridge. Pretty sure that was animal brain wanting some nutrition.

In the morning, I'd wake up feeling like shit and stay in bed until I had to use the bathroom, then once I felt like I could drive down the street to the market or liquor store, i'd go and pick up another two bottles for that day (and sometimes 3 so I had enough to tide me over until mid-day Sunday). Then buy 2 more bottles for Sunday night and wake up feeling unbelievably sick the next day.

Instead, I'm enjoying a personal sized pizza and a salad and feeling really so incredibly grateful to have stopped this bullshit.

Enjoy your Friday evening and weekend, and to anyone else trying to quit or in the early stages, feel free to chime in and share anything that you might be struggling with. It really helps to have others you can talk to.

OP: I’m soooo happy to read your updates. You inspire me. I’m sober but relapsed many times. As someone once said , “We are all retreads .”

You are back on a schedule and taking care of yourself ! It really is one step at at a time.

My worst day sober is always better then my “ best” day as a drunk .

You are doing it —- welcome to life !!!! Love and hugs to you

Sometimes I like to feel bad in the morning.

r51 as in sick to your stomach, got the shits, still a bit wasted, not ready for the day (and sure as fuck not ready to go to work), thirsty as fuck, wondering what you said to who last night when you see you have a few unseen texts/messages when you weren't expecting anything, eyes-red-as-fuck, bloated face bad?

Is that the kind of bad you mean? Well, then have it, by all means. Unless you meant another kind of bad ;)

For me, I've woken the past 5 days actually ready to be a productive person, putting plans in motion that I put off, cleaning up my home and my life, and doing good work at my job. I'm relaxing/taking a break right now with my snoozing pup at my side after doing some house cleaning/reorg this morning and plan on cooking(!) later on (making some soup as it's a blustery day).

Feeling good :)

for those of you who stopped drinking, did you friends or loved ones ever tell you that you had a drinking problem etc? that you should stop, cut down etc? How did you react? what made you realize you had a problem?

Pointless bitchery doesn't justify trying to rip down

Yes it does, this ain't mommy central you cuntresse, go douche with broken glass shards.

[quote] for those of you who stopped drinking, did you friends or loved ones ever tell you that you had a drinking problem etc? that you should stop, cut down etc? How did you react? what made you realize you had a problem?

No, nobody confronted me. I just knew that I had this dirty secret, this secret coping mechanism. I was tired of it and wanted it to be done.

I reserve the right to horrible relapse once a year. The melodrama, followed by acute withdrawal, followed by hypochondria, followed by pink cloud attitude, followed by “that was a temper tantrum!” is dependable.

R53 besides the occasional next day “whoa, are you ok?!” or “how are you feeling today lol” my drinking was pretty secret. However, there were two incidents in two years where my boss needed to reach me after hours. The first time he told me not to respond to the client and that he would handle it. The second time it happened , I could barely talk. The next day he very kindly asked if I had a problem and needed help. I quit then. It hasn’t been easy and I still drink to excess sometimes but that was my wake up call.

OP, I'm only a couple weeks sober. Been in detox facilities twice. Now I'm on naltrexone and doing okay. Those first few days are the worst. I just keep trying to keep that in mind, plus how I never want to go back to a detox center. I'm not rich enough to go to some place like Betty Ford so I had to put myself in the care of local hospitals; they put addicts in the behavioral mental health units. Scary places and I don't want to go back. That - and the naltrexone - are keeping me straight.

I looooooove this thread and I love OP, and all the bitchery too. This is life people. It’s not a straight line, it’s easy to loose the plot, you are only human after all. But this thread reminds me that there doesn’t have to be constant pain in my life. I have choices, and choices are empowering. It feels so good to start feeling empowered to master the direction of your own life, maybe because there is so little we can control? We cannot always control our circumstances, that is true, but we can always control our own mindset. Our mindset is the one thing we can fully control, and we can train ourselves to change our mindset too, that’s a muscle we can build.

I love too that this thread isn’t bashing AA, just sharing what works for you, and for some that is indeed the 12-step model, for some it’s not, the more types of recovery you can learn about, the better to compare what will work right you and how you’re wired. Refuse to be judged, refuse to believe that there only one way, and then you choose what matches your temperament and your vision for your own life. I am grateful there are more choices out there than just AA, but AA is a good model too and their impact on the world is huge. I volunteer in a jail, the AAer’s who volunteer are some of the most dedicated people I’ve ever met. Some of them have been going in the jail to bring the message of sobriety to the men for over 15 years. When someone goes into a jail weekly to bring hope, you know that person had something pretty special happen in their own live that was so big they continue to want to share it with others so that they can find hope too.

Carry on, all parties please! OP, so what is the number tool you used this time? Very very thrilled to read that you’re doing so well, ride the wave.

Hey r59, OP here, just a few hours shy of 7 days sober! thanks for coming into to share your positivity and message that there are many tools out there, many different ways to get sober, and it's not a one-size-fits-all thing by any means. To answer your question, I think need to rewind a bit.

Back in November 2022, I had been drinking so heavily for over 3+ years after a period of 18 months sobriety prior to that. In late 2022, I did use online AA meetings quite a bit and found the support and companionship very helpful. I had been unemployed for over a year at that point, but was living off savings I had made and was really very housebound and isolated. AA really helped in the first four months to find a sense of routine, support, encouragement, positivity. Along with AA, I also made small steps every day to put my life back in order, starting with cleaning the shithole i had let my apartment become. That was an extremely big job, but i took it a step at a time. I also made sure to set myself up for success, by downloading a sobriety app, stocking my fridge with good, healthy food and non-alcoholic beverages, downloaded some games on my phone for times when i would usually be drinking, and generally kept myself very busy. About four months in, I began exercising a lot and that became a big part of recovery for me, along with going to the doctor and dealing with all the effects my drinking had taken on my health over those years.

I then began looking for work when my money was running out, around June of last year. I was very lucky to be recruited to be an Office Administrator of a non-profit in July, a job I still have, despite the past 4 1/2 months of heavy drinking. That really took over my life, along with dealing with the final days of my longtime pup's life. A week before I began my new job, my mother died, which was a huge blow to me as well. I had to finally decide to put my dog down at the beginning of December, and the thought of the impending event and the pain surrounding it was devastating to me. In mid November, a day after my year sobriety, just did me in. I began drinking again. I gained all the weight I lost in the last period of sobriety and don't know what the health effects are at this point, but I'm hoping they aren't quite as serious as last time.

So that was last time, and you asked me about this time. This time, I have a lot going for me despite my losses during last year. I still have a wonderful job, a wonderful boss and workplace, my best friend is still around me despite my lapse back into drinking, and I have a new pup in my life who I helped bring into the world, holding him on my chest and keeping him warm right after he was born. So, I have a HUGE ADVANTAGE I didn't have at all last time. I also revved up the ol' sobriety app again, stocked my fridge with the good food/beverages, began taking my meds again, and started just appreciating how good it felt to wake up without pain - in my head, stomach, bruises from where i fell or bumped into something, and with the peace of mind knowing I'm doing the best i can. I grieved my losses in a really bad way, but I'm moving forward with my life. I have to look at the balance between loss and gain, and I can see that now as the grief has subsided over these past 4 1/2 months. I have more to do here, more life left to live, more people to give and receive love to and from. So, i'm choosing to live it. I haven't attended any AA meetings this time, but I don't rule that out as a possibility. However, I seem to be doing okay for the time being. I do have a 4 month old puppy to take care of as well as myself. (cont)

(cont)

What I think it comes down to is I just finally let it seep in that I can't keep drinking away pain, because it's still there every time the alcohol wears off. I have to work through the pain, recognize it for what it is and stop trying to outrun it. I lost my Mom, I lost my dog, I lost my cat, I lost a few family members for the past four months, but I have gained a lot as well, and I hope to keep gaining more and more, and giving more and more to others as well. There's happiness in creating happiness for others, for me. And I have a lot to be happy for - so I just embraced the fact that i felt death creeping up behind me yet again, and realized - once again, as I did back in 2022 - I'm just not ready to go yet.

Sorry that was so long, but I hope maybe there was a little something in there that might help someone. However you do it, just know you're worth it to get sober and find some meaning and happiness in life. You can do it. If I can do it, believe me, you can too.

Have a great week, everyone!

You asked about whether any of us were told to stop drinking, or had it suggested to us. Yes. My brother had cystic fibrosis and was pretty sick, but he never drank, our dad was an ex alcoholic. My bro would always tell me I was so much more fun sober, etc. Then one morning after he had been called by my boyfriend to come pick me up and get me the fuck out of my boyfriend's house, he told me that I should just fucking shoot myself because it would be faster and less painful for him to see than me slowly suiciding to booze. Of course, I still drank. He had my dad drive down from Arizona to California and do a kind of "stop drinking, knock it off" talk with me. My brother died in 2002 and I was drunk for an entire year after that. I was in and out of rehab, AA, etc. I finally stopped drinking in 2013, my dad was still alive and was so proud of me. I had 6 years sobriety when my dad died and now I have almost 11. My boyfriend now has never seen me drink and my job and my newer friends all know me to not drink. They wouldn't believe the way I used to be. It takes what it takes, a fucking trite and annoying, but true phrase. I don't know why it took so long for me to stay quit, and I don't even know if I really will stay quit forever, but I have no desire to drink today, and that's all that counts. One week is fucking awesome, OP. Keep doing the damn thing, I know you can.

r62, thank you so much for sharing that. I give you a good morning squeeze for your pain and loss, and a huge hug to acknowledge your strength and doing what you needed to do to get it right. You have achieved a lot and have much to be proud of, and I know your brother and father are looking out for you and loving you from whatever realm comes next.

I, too, have had my ins and outs with sobriety since I started drinking back in 2006 (I'm 55 now), but you're right - it takes what it takes. I've gotten knocked down a few times, circumstances have put me in a tail spin, but it's up to me to right myself and set a new course toward the place I want to be, instead of drifting wherever the wind blows me and letting shit happen to me because I'm too drunk or hungover to make decisions and do what I need to do.

Thank you again for sharing, r62 - and to everyone else out there who has shared, who has read, who needs to hear this, who is gathering the strength to start, to the people who are waking up sick of being sick, and to anyone who is saying to themselves "that's it, this is the day." You can do it. We can do it. We're all here to help you if you need it.

It feels so much better on this side. :) Happy Monday!

No one asked me to stop drinking because no one knew. Or maybe they ignored it. I was able to work with no problems but didn't socialize much because I liked staying home and getting drunk. I stopped drinking because I wanted to quit. I'd been in different programs over the years but always went back to drinking. I thought there was magic in therapy or detox or medication. What it boiled down to, for me, was that I wasn't ready to quit. When I was ready I knew I didn't want to go to a detox center. I'd been in one and it was a frightening experience. I finally had to come to grips with my alcoholism after I contracted liver disease because of the drinking. I developed cirrhosis, part of my liver was dead tissue. That did it for me. I can live with the condition of my liver right now but not if I continue drinking. My primary put me on naltrexone and it helped get me through the first few days and I'm going on two months now. I can't go back to drinking. I refuse.

Good luck to anyone struggling with this addiction. It's a bitch and YOU have to want to get her off your back. There is no 'cure' at least that I know of.

I think those of you who are giving up alcohol are very brave. I know a lot of heavy drinkers, but the only one I've cut off is a seemingly high-functioning cunt who everyone else accepts will frequently get drunk and be mean and nasty. I know they'll never get help, that nobody will ever confront them. However, I also know what most of their "friends" really think of them.

Your way is better and braver, believe me.

r65 - it's interesting because I have a family member who has been an alcoholic since he was in his teens, went into the Navy, and has held down a job *most* of his life (there were periods that he didn't work, on purpose, so as to not have to pay child support - stellar!), but lives to drink. He makes it his whole identity, in fact. He lives in a colder state where drinking is a past-time during the winter, but he does it year-round. He's 58 years old now, but still does "bar crawls" with his friends and alky girlfriend too. Posts things on FB about where they are on vacation and what they're drinking and who they're meeting to drink, etc. etc. This is a person that will also drink during work as well, and can easily put away a 12 pack a day.

This person gets a pass from the family because "he will never change" and they've "given up hope" that he ever will. There's a lot of "that's just the way he is" thrown around as well. Everyone has thrown up their hands and accepted it because he is usually funny, jovial, life of the party, etc. until he gets home and regularly verbally abuses his mother (who he lives with, she's in her 80s).

There is a double standard that exists for this person, and it's mind-boggling. I'm not really sure why some people get the "that's just the way he is, he'll never change," but yet he is still accepted in the family. However, there is no tolerance for someone else in the same family who also has a problem with drinking. For perspective, the first person I'm speaking of has at least 3 DUI's (that we know of) across 2 different states over a time period of 30 years, and the other person has 1. Neither are acceptable, of course, but there is a tolerance that is given to the family member I speak of which isn't extended to the other family member, who, other than the one DUI, has really no other transgressions, isn't abusive, etc. etc.

Sometimes this whole addiction thing and how society deals with it and treats people can be very confusing. Just early morning ramblings, I guess.

Day 9 has dawned and I'm doing well! No craving, just some minor annoyance when an alcohol commercial comes on tv (when did they start letting tequila and other liquor commercial back on tv? I recall some around Christmas time, but now it's just whenever I guess).

I've lost 4 lbs since I started which is amazing. I am getting fulfilling sleep and go to sleep as soon as I drift off at night, even if it's before 10pm. I'm trying to listen to my body again. I wasn't very hungry yesterday and walked as much as I could. When i came home, I worked in my yard for about 2 hours as I've completely neglected it and it was so overgrown, weedy, leaves, etc. Still needs a lot of work, but it's supposed to rain today, so we'll see if I can do anymore.

I started taking my medications last Tuesday and have continued to do that, so having a routine is very helpful to me. When I wake up, I'm not getting dressed and running out the door because I slept for as long as possible and hit snooze two or three times. I get up, turn on some calming music, make coffee/tea, feed my puppy, then read a little on the computer while drinking my beverage and having a small lunch. Then it's into work, earlier than I've been going in for months and being very productive at work.

I have new ideas and have pitched the at work, and they've been met with enthusiasm and agreement. I'm feeling pretty good and happy with myself. And if all goes according to plan, I should have a new (to me) car by the end of the week, as I've been working on finding one, have driven a few, have a dealership and my credit union on the lookout for what I want. I can't wait for that! That's going to open up a whole of lot of opportunities for me, in terms of being able to go places and visit things/attractions I haven't been able to in years.

Life is feeling good again!

How is everyone doing today? Anyone struggling? Thinking about drinking? Thinking about NOT drinking?

Chime in here! I may go find my thread from last year and revive it too, because lots of people seemed to resonate with it at the time.

Happy mid-week Wednesday! Have a great day, and if you're thinking of your drinking, feel free to talk about it here.

Nice job, OP! Remember, it takes 21 days to build a new habit, you're almost halfway there! And losing weight is always a bonus. I was in rehab a few times for my alcohol and I was so lucky to lose weight. The other people there that were coke and meth heads all gained weight and it was hard on them. The alkies get better looking! I can now drink vicariously through my friends. One is in town from Ecuador and she's not a big drinker. I made her a couple tanq and tonics and she drank them and then stopped. It's so wild to see someone have just a few drinks and be done. And its awesome not feeling shitty in the morning. Now go out there and create some value in the world!

^meant to say drink a beverage while having BREAKFAST, not lunch.

Thanks, r68. Yes, I've heard about the 21 days for the new habit to form, so I'm looking forward to that. I think it's a bit easier than last time for sure, because i was only off the wagon for 4 1/2 months and before, it was 3+ years of drinking like a savage while in Covid lockdown (but only after work, I had some sense of propriety, LOL).

I feel like i'm just falling back into the patterns that I abandoned when I started coming to terms with having to take my dog in to be put down, instead of him passing naturally. All the things that had happened in the 3 months prior AND having to take my dog to his death really just knocked my ass sideways. But, I'm getting through it. I still miss Hercules so much...in fact, I cried a little bit one day on the weekend because I had his last moments on my mind when I awoke. He's still with me though and I know he would be happy I'm moving on with my new pup, who is somewhat like him and born 6 days after Hercules died.

Anyways, it's the nature of life. You fall down, you get up again. We can all do this. And it's important to lend a helping hand when someone is need, too. So thank you all for your positive words and encouragement! That has been very helpful to me.

Oh I forgot about your dog, I'm so sorry. That would knock me down too. I always am worried about my cat aging. I've had a dog put down in my sobriety, it was fucking rough. I don't know if you have an animal shelter or rescue that you can volunteer at, or if it's too soon, but I bet you would feel a little better. Of course you will still think about Hercules all the time, but you can do it without drinking, and you won't feel shitty the next day.

R53, one of my friends did years before I quit and then he moved. I found out afterwards there was talk of an intervention with other friends...that would not have gone well. I would not have been receptive.

For me, I was functioning until I got laid off and then really lost control. I also hid as much as I could, lived alone and isolated.

Sober for 14 yeas.... I wish I had done it sooner but you need to get to a place where you can successfully handle. Stopped smoking 7 years ago - both horrible, horrible habits.

I lost a lot of my life and never had a boyfriend....now 62 and facing life with positivity and looking for everything that can be....

You have time R71. One of my best friends, who I met in rehab in 2000, is like 63, 15 years sober. She was in rehab for heroin, was a felon, oh was locked up with Diane Downs!, and had only a hs diploma. She got her masters in social work when she was 60 and is now pretty high up at a rehab herself. It's never too late! She doesn't have a boyfriend but she doesn't want one either. She has a cat, a cool condo in Scottsdale, a new Lexus, and friends like me! I didn't get sober till I was 41, and I had tried since I was about 30ish.

Thanks, r70. I do have my new puppy Apollo and he has helped immensely. A fresh new life is always a soul-perker, and he's been a point of sunshine (see what I did there?) in my life these past 4 months. I'm thankful to have him, as expensive as he's been. Yet another reason to stop spending an extra $1k a month on shitty wine.

😊

Exactly R73! You are saving so much money on not just alcohol, it's bad for your health too, not to mention DUI costs. I'm so happy you have a new pup! That will absolutely give you a reason to stay healthy.

Yay! 10 days, 10 hours sober (or, 250 hours sober!).

The swelling in my belly has gone down quite a bit. I think - but I have no way of knowing for sure - that I had some ascites going on. The last time I quit drinking (over a year ago), my liver was really not doing well - it hurt and took at least four months for it to stop hurting. This time, I didn't get to the "liver-hurting" point, but it was feeling quite heavy when I stopped 10 days ago. 2 bottles of wine a night will do that to you, even in as short of period as 4.5 months.

I've been taking Milk Thistile, so hopefully that is helping, too. I do need to get into the doctor to get a blood panel done; however, I switched insurance since I lost sobriety and haven't even seen my new doc yet, so...that's another project I'll need to tackle.

Hope everyone else is doing well. Please post here if you need any support, are thinking about it, have quit, whatever. Have a great day, everyone!

Yes R75. The rehabs I went to were 3 months long but one of my counselors told me that it honestly takes about a year to completely detox, liver wise and everything. Thirty day rehabs are just...way too short. So your liver may feel bad for awhile yet. But it's regenerating as we speak! Your face will thin too, if you are like me, you have bloaty face. So you have that to look forward to also! And don't worry about losing weight. You probably will, but you may want to eat some more. That doesn't really matter. It will all even out in time. Congrats on another booze free Thursday!

Well done OP. Thanks for the update at r75. You're doing great!