Falcon Crest Guest Stars

Morgan Fairchild in a hat.

What on earth is Mariska Hargitay supposed to be?

No I do not. I’d be sad if I did.

And Miss Lana Turner!

What percentage of the female actresses under the age of 40 did Lorenzo Lamas sexually assault?

There’s a Miss America hidden in there. Can you find her?

Who the f is Daniel Greene?

LaGena Hart’s husband. Duh.

LaGena Hart is hardly a household name. No pic on her IMDb page.

Mariska was in 15 episodes but it looks like she is in blackface in that example.

Susan Blakely does a 360 turn like Linda Blair in The Exorcist.

How could you not know of LaGena Hart?

aka LaGena Lookabill.

Apollonia! and Damn Mariska Hargitay looked unrecognizable.

Bravo to whoever put that all together. Expertly done.

Brought back lots of memories.

Buck Henry? Shannon Tweed?

Leslie Caron has the Constance down pat.

Eddie Albert and Robert Stack played boring or dumb characters. They were filler. Stack basically did his Unsolved Mysteries schtick. Apollonia wasn't bad just the storyline was. Eve Arden for five lines in two episodes. Lana Turner of course was the best. Caesar Romero was good. You know he wanted to me too Lorenzo. Some of the guest stars I didn't even know were stars until years later. Jane Greer was also good. Gregory Harrison I don't know what to say. Kristin Alfonso enough said she was a guest even if she was in the opening credits. E.G. Marshall did his CBS Radio Mystery Theatre schtick I can go on. Thanks OP!

Jane Greer always looked good.

I'm sure it has come up in other FC threads but what was the supposed rift between Jane Wyman and Lana Turner. Lana was at MGM while Jane was at Warners so it can't be a job thing. And I doubt Lana slept with Ronald Reagan. On the Donahue show Lana said the talk of a rift was bull and an excuse for publicity.

[quote]R5 What percentage of the female actresses under the age of 40 did Lorenzo Lamas sexually assault?

He pursued costar Robin Greer strenuously, got her into a relationship, proposed, dumped her abruptly… then she became a Hollywood call girl.

C’est la vie!

Apollonia was hot off of Purple Rain. Those were the days.

Lorenzo was briefly with Daphne Ashbrook (sister of actor Dana) in the 80s and had a kid with her.

R21, Daaaaammmmnnnnn, that is crazy!

Wiki says Lorenzo's main squeeze on the show was Ana Alicia.

I need to read Lorenzo's autobiography.

He's a renegade.

Lana Turner was the best guest star. It was wonderful to see the old Hollywood glamour.

[quote]Who the f is Daniel Greene?

I recognized him immediately as the hunk from the Elvira movie!

It was a shame that Miss Crawford didn't make it to the prime time soap era. She would have been great on Falcon Crest going up against Jane Wyman.

Bibi Besch.

Oleebia

^ WTF?

What great fun. Some DL fag probably edited this together.

Cliff Robertson the only Oscar winner (for acting), right? Among the guest stars.

Lana wins.

Let's see, r34...well...Celeste Holm.

Mariska played Dan Fuxx’s sister/lover Carly . She was brought to town to break Dan and crazy Melissa up by Angela, who was amused by het antics. I believe Melissa and Carly got into a fight at Richard and Maggie’s wedding and they ended up in the pool.

Robin Greer was everywhere during the OJ Simpson trial, she was friends with Nicole.

Daniel Greene played Emma’s meathead trucker boyfriend Dwayne, who died in the earthquake.

Jane was a good Catholic and felt Lana’s morals were questionable. She urged Earl Hamner not to hire her because “she’s not a lady.”

[quote] Lana Turner was the best guest star. It was wonderful to see the old Hollywood glamour.

My dad used to say that Lana Turner on "Falcon Crest" looked quite a bit like ET.

R36, Celeste Holm, of course! Good catch!

R32 made me do a spit take! Is Oleebia the lost member of the Supremes here?

Salome Jens as that evil nurse that killed Lance's slam piece--she was also on Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman.

Jane Greer was also hilarious on Twin Peaks as Norma's mother, the secret food critic that wrote bad reviews for the Double R Diner. "I'm sorry dear, the food just isn't good." Fun old bitch!

[quote]Jane was a good Catholic

Indeed she was.

Jane Wyman could be cute when she was young but she was always kind of a girl next door frump. Especially when facing off with Lana.

[quote] She urged Earl Hamner not to hire her because “she’s not a lady.”

That's a polite way of saying she was a cheap whore that let Johnny Stompanato beat her up. Although I don't know why Jane cared, there were plenty of other cheap tramps that came and went on that show.

I do remember her vetoing the storyline with Miss Jones and Richard's nanny being a lesbian couple. They made them sisters instead. Lesbians would've made for a much more interesting storyline IMO.

Yeah, Jane was no threat to Marlene.

R43 - who would you rather fuck - Johnny Stompanato or Ronnie Reagan?

[quote] [R43] - who would you rather fuck - Johnny Stompanato or Ronnie Reagan?

For me it depends on whether I could be assured my teenage daughter would stab him afterwards.

Those glasses did Eve Arden no favors. However she was aged 79 and it was her last gig.

Eve Arden's job on Falcon Crest looks to me like her health insurance was about to lapse if she didn't get an acting job pronto. So a good friend got her this quick charity gig.

[quote]Jane was a good Catholic

Good Catholics don't get divorced.

r48 has never heard of Medicare.

Carla Gugino!

Oh Carla was in 11 episodes as Sydney St. James.

[quote] Morgan Fairchild in a hat.

I had the superior hat R1!

Laurel Schaefer’s biggest moment prior to Falcon Crest

Laurel has bitchface in her credit.

David Sheinkopf

^ He was part of Ellen's design challenge. That deserves the DL death penalty.

Dan Ferro was part of the Ortega family that nobody cared about. It wasn't all bad though. Nobody was wearing jeans like Tommy Ortega. He had the best ass and legs for a good pair of skinny jeans. He passed away last year.

Dan Ferro

Ok I read the other FC threads. Someone claims Jane was bad to Lana because Jane was a friend of Barbara Stanwyck and resented how Lana had an affair with Barbara's husband Robert Taylor when they made a film together. But I thought the Stanwyck/Taylor marriage was a beard?

Stanwyck was a controlling bull dyke who didn’t want anyone else fucking her husband… even if she herself only took on the job twice a year.

(Having a cheating spouse also had the potential to tarnish her image.)

Stanwyck was a Republicunt to the end.

I can't believe I've lived all these years without ever asking myself if I knew all the guest stars on Falcon Crest.

Now I'm questioning everything.

^ I take that statement with a grain of salt. Republicans changed dramatically in the 80s and even more so in the last 20 years. Who knows, in the 70s even I may have been a Republican.

Once you get some money you became a Repub to stop the liberals taking it away from you.

Lauren Hutton was another waste of a guest star. I've watched the series three times and still can't recall her storyline.

How many FC guest stars appeared on Celebrity Bowling?

I liked when Gina Lollobrigida as Francesca Gioberti did her old Italian hooker dance. That vinegary old bitch Angela wasn’t impressed.

Anne Archer wore those awful pantsuits and seemed like she'd just smelled a bad fart. Didn't she have a giant pink office? She seemed like filler after they killed off the Nazis trying to steal Falcon Crest.

But I did enjoy when Celeste Holm tried to burn down Falcon Crest while Angela was sleeping--"Sweet dreams, Angela" as she ignites the kerosene.

Anne Archer is a meek little pillowcase , and the idea of that titmouse playing a business powerhouse who outcunts Angela Channing is laughable.

Jane should have had Rock Hudson play Phillip Erickson. That old queen would have the vapors gazing at Lorenzo Lamas in a speedo or William Moses in cut off jeans or something.

R70 if you ever come near me again on this thread I will kill you. Do you understand?

R68 - a great dancer Gina aint.

Raquel Welch's daughter was Nepo Baby casting.

I don't think you were permitted to have a TV series back then unless the following people were guest stars: Morgan Fairchild, Celeste Holmes, EG Marshall

Sherlock’s other sister?

Did Cesar Romero graduate from guest star to semi-regular? I note he was in 52 episodes.

[quote]Celeste Holmes

Who?

[quote] Celeste Holmes

John's sister.

Oh yes Cesar was in the Season 6 opening credits.

R74 - so was Lorenzo.

And Mariska.

No M in those credits

How close were Cesar's and Lorenzo's dressing rooms?

Peter Stavros used to pay Chao Li $50/pair for Lance’s worn bikini briefs.

Were the two Greers related? Barbara Howard as Robin Agreti makes the top ten. The first sheriff was much better than the second. I'm in the minority I guess but I think Anne Archer did a great job.. That guy in the last season who ended up being Richard's son was hot. John Saxton was also chased around the vineyards by Caesar.

Robin Greer was not related to Jane Greer. Jane had 3 sons.

Per IMDb, Robin is a niece of Jane Greer.

Her obit says Jane had a twin brother Don.

Daniel Greene was a hot piece of manmeat. I bet he had a fat cock that would've split Emma in two.

Robin Greer is the daughter of model Dolores Greer.

Jane was said to be one of the Hollywood ladies who used Cesar as an escort. I bet he knew where Jane's bodies were buried.

Jane Wyman, I mean.

Jane was mad when she saw how good Kim Novak’s wig looked, and demanded a new one of her own. That’s why her hair looks different in season 6.

Jeff Kober has razor blade cheek bones.

I can't ever get past the amateurish, repetitive, annoying, overwrought theme. And I say that as a Bill Conti fan. But not every theme is going to be "Cagney & Lacey" good.

John Bennett Perry.

R96 how dare you say what you said

Have to agree with r98. It's a brilliant theme, although that YouTube edit shows it need not be put on an endless loop.

Robert F Lyons looks familiar

Could Bill Conti make a song of the theme, like he did with An Unmarried Woman?

The only thing I remember about this show is there was a station here that ran it late Friday nights like around 11:00 or midnight. I never actually watched anything other than the opening credits.

Why so pensive?

Jane was a BITCH!

Mario Marcelino looks like Erik Estrada. He was in 12 episodes as Mario Nunouz.

[quote]Robert F Lyons looks familiar

He’s a character actor who’s been in tons of movies and TV shows. He was repeatedly on my screen last fall, as my cable outlet played his movie Dark Night of the Scarecrow literally every day.

I guess I saw him in Paper Moon (1974).

[quote]I can't ever get past the amateurish, repetitive, annoying, overwrought theme.

I'd say it depends on what variation you listen to. First and second season give you the best impression of the original work while the eighth seasons intro cut out every intricacies. The ninth season's theme is - imo - actually not that bad for what it was supposed to convey. I don't like the ninth season, but I kinda like its arrangement of the theme music.

Marian McCargo Bell! Who? Well she was in 6 episodes.

She played ‘Morgan Fairchild’s cunt mother, r109, who didn’t believe Morgan when she said her father (the priest Dorothy tried to fuck on the Golden Girls) tried to diddle her. Then he blew his brains out.

Morgan was awful in that split personality storyline. It really showed her limitations as an actress. Although I loved that she fucked Lance and Angela barged in on them. I love any scene where Angela gets to scowl at some bare titted floozy in her grandson’s bed.

Remember when Melba Moore was everywhere?

Who is Carlos Romero? He played Carlo Agretti in 10 episodes.

He was Melissa’s father and Julia’s fucktime partner/murder victim.

Before he transitioned, he was known as CARLOTTA Romero.

Carlotta and Ricky

Marion McCargo Bell was Billy Moses's real life mother.

Vinegary old bitch Angela finds a couple of whores in bed.

I like Lance's look. He does not care at all that his grandmother caught them.

R116 - that means that Moses was another nepo.

Who had the bigger floppiest tits--Robin Greer or Jill Jacobson?

r119 His father was a Republican Congressman from California. Double nepo?

Lorenzo was triple with Fernando, Arlene, and Esther.

I think Melba Moore may have been the first black person to ever step foot in the valley.

Didn't they have a black butler?

Bibi Besch was the mother of Samantha Mathis, another nepo.

Edward Albert was so creepy as Maggie’s rapist Jeff Wainwright, so of course that useless twat Vicki 2 had to fuck him.

Salome Jens is a brunette here.

Edward Albert always seemed to be playing creeps.

He was so wholesome on GREEN ACRES, though. Very versatile.

In the 1970s, Albert was engaged to actress Kate Jackson!

R126 Vicky 2 had a 🔥 crotch, cut her some slack!

So were the two Albert guest stars father and son?

Or maybe a married couple??

I have just realized someone named Inga Swenson was in “110 in the Shade”… not Inger Stevens.

I always wondered how Inger Stevens could end up as the lead in a Broadway musical.

^^ oh

That was a musing for the Broadway thread : ( Sorry!

WHET Charles Frank?

Rosalind Chao?

Ron Rifkin?

Ed Marinaro??

They're all alive, right?

Yes.

I KNEW FC went off the rails when Ed Marinaro was bathing nude in front of Maggie and she was like "do you know what's going on with Richard?"

I would've jumped on that cock toot sweet!

Ed has been working.

They really turned Maggie into a wimpy moron in those last seasons. It started when asshole Chase and cunt Vicky 2 bullied her into giving her baby up for adoption, and it went downhill from there.

In the early seasons she wouldn’t have rested until Melissa was locked up for kidnapping the baby and causing Chase’s death. Instead she just yells at her and accepts the fact that this psycho lived next door.

Kate once lived with Edward Albert Jr. and dated such stars as Nick Nolte and Warren Beatty.

Wow. Ed Marinaro will be 74 this year. Charles Frank must be even older. Ron Rifkin must be well into his 80s.

Charles Frank is 76. Ron Rifkin is 84.

[quote] They really turned Maggie into a wimpy moron in those last seasons.

Agreed. In a way I understand though. All that psychological trauma she went through. Her mother-in-law, daughter-in-law (two actually), her sister and her husband all died within four years. I'd be a little wimpy after all that, too. Tuscany Valley was very deadly place.

Also her daughter came back to town as an angry ginger cunt. They wrote Vicky Gioberti like she was Ann Romano’s long lost daughter.

They should've had a storyline in those latter seasons where Maggie joined a cult. She basically was brainwashed by Richard anyway.

No wonder Robert Foxworth left this steaming junk heap at the end of Season 6.

Rosalind chao has been working too

Ron Rifkin

So we have three guest star pairs that were related. Interesting. Racquet Welch's daughter's character just mumbled what her connection is to everyone else in the valley and why she's in the valley. I don't know what she said but the parts I heard made no sense. Didn't bother to rewind. Next guest star please!

^ I think she was brought to the valley by Angela after Lance's slam piece died, to distract him or something. But she also was at the nunnery with Julia and fucked Tony. The show really made no sense at that point.

They should have never let Jane Badler go.

Like Vicki 2 would really fetch a decent price on the white slavery market!

They should have never killed off Terry, I loved her sluttiness and she always got the last word, even with Angela.

IDK R152, she did look stunning in that white dress. But then she opened her whiny mouth and the fantasy was ruined.

Terry was a horny gold digger, love her.

My favorite scene with Terry is right after she meets with Chase and Maggie and her attorney to go over Michael’s will (she got everything).

Terry gets into Michael’s frumpy car , and she drives halfway down the driveway. She stops the car, throws off her black veil, shakes her hair out, and puts rock music on the car radio at full blast as she hauls ass out of there.

In her next scene she’s driving up to Falcon Crest in a bright yellow sports car and wearing a very bright colored dress, her mourning period over.

[quote]Racquet Welch

Racquet Welch is the new Lens Dunham

The new Diane Cilantro…

[quote] They should have never killed off Terry

They killed off a lot of their best female characters-Terry, Melissa, Maggie. Although at the end, I'm sure the killing off of Melissa and Maggie was budgetary (sub in Kristian Alfonso for Ana Alicia and sub in Wendy Phillips for Susan Sullivan. Nobody gave a shit about Pilar or Lauren.)

I just read the older news that Susan Sullivan is battling lung cancer. Any update on that? Lung cancer is typically quite vicious.

R132 Yes, Edward was Eddie's son.

Lotta hats.

Ed Marinaro, Parker Stevenson. Well you certainly took the lid of the ancient history vault OP

Susan Sullivan on Lung Cancer Surgery and ‘Painful’ Recovery: ‘I Didn’t Want to Give Up’

R42 Lana and Jane were in their early 60s when they in Falcon Crest, but they looked at least 10 years older.

^ When they WERE in.

Just saw Mary Ann Mobley. Blink and you would have missed her.

Did you miss me?

She was said to be in 4 episodes.

I just saw Terri from FC in a cameo on Dallas Season 3. She said, "What was that all about?" after her date got in a staged fight with JR.

She played Betty Lou, Alan Beam’s sidepiece, r168

R169 You're right I see she has more lines! Her and Morgan Fairchild maje two for FC actors who were also on Dallas.

#3 FC actor also on Dallas Mel or Jose Ferrar

Falcon Crest would have lasted longer with more hot guys!

They couldn't have too many. It was in Lorenzo's contract.

Sigh..John David Carson. One of my first crushes when I was a baby gay, and probably ignited my lifelong lust for boys with dark hair and eyes and cute faces.

I thought Vicki 1 (Jamie Rose) was the fire crotch? I had mostly quit watching after the first 3 or so seasons, but wasn’t Vicki 2 a brunette with short hair?

Vicky 1 and Vicky 2 were both fire crotches. Vicky 1 was a non entity. Vicky 2 was a feckless cunt with a big mouth and a revolting personality.

The white slave traders who got possession of Vicky 2 in Season 7 realized nobody would pay to buy or rescue that asshole, so they unloaded her fast.

Vicky 2s most horrendous line to her mother, "Oh you're throwing a party! What are you celebrating- getting raped?"

She was such a cunt. Her whiny ass should have drowned in the Bay.

I gave up on Falcon Crest after Melissa didn’t suffer any consequences for Chase’s death, except Maggie and Angela being bitchy to her.

What really got me is when she went to Australia to see Joseph, who was living with Cole, and Cole didn’t really seemed bothered to be face to face with the woman who kidnapped his little brother and caused the death of his father. He actually gave her advice on building a relationship with Dan Fixx!

#4 Actor who appeared on both Dallas and FC Karl don't stare at my nose Malden

Malden was ever on either.

He played the detective looking for Pam's mother on Dallas and he had a brief role on FC which I'm trying to find as we speak.

Holy Cow! Karl Malden had a doppelganger named Richard Heard and he appeared on both Dallas and FC!

Richard Heard was also Rose’s impotent boyfriend on the Golden Girls, the one that dumped her after he was able to cum again.

He was also the evil owner of the power plant in The China Syndrome.

It would be interesting to figure out how many of these guest stars had some kind of three degrees of separation or less connection to JW from before the show even aired. I'm going to guess at least half.