Pet Grief

Jimmy Stewart reads a poem about his dog Beau on Johnny Carson

How did your dog die?

I’m with you, OP. My dog died 3 weeks ago. I still find myself looking for her around the house, thinking it’s time to feed her, etc. Based on experience, the grief goes away, but it does take some time.

I'm so sorry, my condolences!

For some of us, pets are family members, so grief is a completely normal part of the process. It's important to acknowledge that grieving is okay... You don't have to 'get through' it quickly. It's a process and it will take time. If you give room to your sadness and grief, they will pass naturally in time. The intervals of being overcome by sadness will slowly become longer and longer. It only gets problematic and exhausting if you try to suppress or control your grief all the time.

It can help to focus on the beautiful experiences you had with your dog. Remember that you gave them a good and fulfilled life.

ugh my dog is almost 14 and it's coming and i am DREADING it. Everyday i think is his last and it's not healthy. Im never getting one again it's too much for me. I love him so much.

Cried like a bitch a whole summer and listened to Nothing else matters obessively.

My partner left our dog with two of his drug addled asshole friends, when we went on vacation. They let our dog out in the yard, unattended. She caught a lizard, ate part of it. The bones pierced her intestines, and she died of sepsis. I’m heartbroken. When these fags die (one is morbidly obese and the other is learning disabled , both addicts) I will try to have compassion.

From reading your post OP, I guess the dog committed suicide in order to get the fuck away from you?

On a side note, I'm a big fan of The Radio Dept., OP!

I don't recall ever seeing them mentioned on here before.

The loss of a pet is harder because usually the relationship has been completely positive, unlike human relationships. What makes it doubly hard is that you are not accorded the same understanding or compassion you would get with the loss of a close family member. People invariably launch into an account of how their pet has died, in some cases, years ago. They may mean to show empathy but it always made me feel as if my raw grief had been discounted. Some people say to get a pet right away. I never took that route, but it could help if you went to a high kill shelter and adopted an animal that was scheduled to be euthanised within days.

I am sorry for your loss, OP. If you can feel such grief, you must be capable of great love, and gave your dog the best life ever. I also think they never truly leave us, and you can feel their presence if you pay attention.

It takes a couple of months to grieve properly, then go out and get another pet, best thing we ever did! We’re convinced when our little Pete died, he went right upstairs and made sure we were provided with proper replacements! He was a big pair of shoes to fill, but we have three wonderful dogs now, Pete could be the only dog back then but our dogs are each thier own personality and really bring a lot of love and light into our lives.

So sorry, OP. Wishing you nothing but peace.

I'm sorry for your loss. You're allowed to call off work and eat a whole thing of candy beans. Something you may want to do is get all your pictures of them together in one file folder and back it up. You can watch Homeward Bound but it'll make you cry.

I drove to a bar and cried in my beer (or in my case, a glass of red wine).

Losing a pet is sometimes harder than losing a member of your family.

I genuinely don’t think I have cried as hard as when I was grieving for my 16 y.o. cat. He was the most beautiful boy and I had to make the rough decision to have him put to sleep given his various health issues.

I regret it every day, even if it was the right thing to do. I felt guilty for months. What helped was looking after a friend’s puppy while he travelled. I stopped expecting to see and hear my boy every day and got used to looking after another animal. It takes time but you will move on, a bit.

OP my cat passed away last Aug 16. I still miss her. I got her from the pound when she was a kitten. She lived to be about 14. An amazing friend. Time helps. Give your love to another pet when the time is right.

So sorry for your loss! I've lost a few dogs and cats in my lifetime, and I've found I need to get a new one fairly quickly. I just don't do well without them. Everyone is different and go at your own pace. I am just sharing what works best for me.

Yes, my grandfather died when I was in college, the first death of someone I knew personally, but it was mostly upsetting because of my pain for my mother and her mother. He was very aloof, though, almost certainly on the autism spectrum, and the experience of losing him was unusual for everyone, I think, since the relationships were all semi-detached.

Three months later, our family dog died. We got him when I was five years old and lost him when I was 22. I felt like I fell into a void as I couldn't process the idea of him no longer being there. My mother reacted far more openly about the pain of losing Sammy than her own father. Even my father cried, and he always pretended not to like the dog. My mom and I took a really long time to get over it. My sister had moved out recently and she coped by adopting a dog, and she was weirdly afraid to let my parents know because she thought they would be offended. That didn't make sense to me. She finally told them and my mom lost her shit, accusing her of not caring about Sammy. It was all really strange and irrational behavior from everyone.

I honestly feel like I had a younger sibling who died. He was a terrier with so much bratty personality that he kind of dominated the family's attention with it.

R18 How wonderful of you to armchair diagnose Grampa as "on the autism spectrum". You're one of "those" people. Let me guess. Single?

R19 He hardly ever spoke. He sat at the dining room table and watched nature documentaries, medical shows or the news, or he read medical textbooks, scientific journals or Playboy. He smoked compulsively and stacked up the cigarette butts in his ashtray into little pyramids. He quit smoking on his own but continued to buy and light cigarettes and hold them and stack the butts for years after he quit until my grandmother insisted he stop wasting money. He went to medical school at UVA for one year before dropping out to go into the Army, and after the Army, he worked as a bellman in a hotel for his entire career until retirement. He was an unusual person who did not relate well on a human level. He seemed to care to the extent he could but he very rarely engaged. My sister and I were afraid of him because he was always sitting in the room but rarely spoke. When he did, he often would make a joke to my father (his son-in-law) that no one understood and he'd laugh about it. When my sister took German in school, he went out and bought her a German-language girly magazine and gave it to her as a gift, which was bizarre because he never gave gifts and it was...a strange gift. But we all thought he was trying to connect on a human level.

Sorry to have offended you by suggesting this man was most likely neurodivergent. Surely he was just a normal loving grandpa.

R20 = "neurodivergent"......Yep. You're single all right. And probably staying that way.

R21 At least I don't WW my own posts. :)

Can my dog have your dog’s stuff?

One thing that helped me when my beloved cat died years ago was to make a slide show of her life, complete with music. It took a great deal of time to put together, and it was a labor of love. The process of creating it and then watching it (and rewatching it) helped me deal with losing her.

I waited about a year to get another pet.

R13-What are candy beans?

OP, I'm thinking of you this morning. I can imagine my pain when my little sweetheart leaves me. There's nothing to type that can make you feel better, but I am so sorry for your deep loss, and I'm so sorry you're hurting. I hope the grief eases soon OP, I really do. XO

Lost my 2 dogs several years ago and I still think about them constantly. I'm an atheist and frankly, I can't think of anybody even my Dad whom I loved, I would hope heaven existed for. But I wish I'd see my dogs again. I'm pathetic.

My mother died two months before my dog. I was devastated when she died. Then my dog. I went to a place so horrible and painful it almost destroyed me.

That dog was the center of my universe. I still have nightmares where I can't find him and wake up a wreck. EVERY day I think about him.

You don't really grieve your childhood dogs if you're away at college when they die

It's much more intense and emotional to actually be there when your dog is fading away

I was so upset when my little dog died a few years ago, that I could not bring myself to get another one. I won't have another one because I can't deal with that sadness again, honestly.

yes, I know, MARY

[quote]You don't really grieve your childhood dogs if you're away at college when they die.

I have occasional twinges of guilt when I think about the fact that my dog died my first semester in college: "If only I'd gone to Nearby State U., I could have been home on weekends. Or maybe even commuted."

Time to connect with the world. People use animals who are totally dependent on you and incapable of challenging you to love. More love is good. Just don’t let it replace real meaningful human relationships - which are worth investing in.

I emotionally cheated on my cat with my dog. Now that Fluffy Whiskers is gone I can't get over the guilt.

I took my mother's cat in after she died. When Felix, the cat, died after five years, I mourned him more than my own mother. There was also a bit of guilt on my part of maybe not having done enough (not enough vet visits, not enough baths, not enough hair trimming, not enough cuddles, not enough toys, etc.). I think there is a general sense of having failed your responsibility when your pet dies, like they are supposed to outlive us and eat us when we lay dead on the ground at home.

[quote]What are candy beans?

I was wondering too....a 'whole thing' of candy beans even

I cried for several.months after my cat died. After you grieve, you start to think of the happy memories you had together and the blessings that your pet brought into your life.

My 18 year old dog is being put to sleep tomorrow. He's literally my whole world and the best friend I've ever had. I honestly don't know how I'm going to get over losing him. I feel like I'm going to fall into a deep depression and never come out of it.

I don't think I even want another dog, at least not anytime soon. How could I bond with another dog like I did with him?

So sorry for your loss OP ❤️

I went thru it 6 years ago and still don’t another pet because it was so painful.

Time is the only thing that helped me.

Hugs to you and sending love to everyone on this thread going thru this situation.

I lost my best friend earlier this year and have been welling up a few times thinking of him. But I know when my dog dies I will be bawling for months.

It’s the worst. Losing my cat was harder than losing my mother. I still think about him often.

Losing a beloved pet is painful in a way that few other things are. We lost our beloved Charlie last year at this time, and I had never been through anything like that before. We had two greyhounds to start, and we actually added two more to the pack when Charlie began to fail. We didn't want Marco to be alone when Charlie was gone. So after Charlie died, we still had three who needed us. Being responsible for the three left behind made the grieving process less difficult for me. They are a gift, and I love them more than I could say.

It’s cliche, but it’s true. Grief is the price we pay for loving our pets so much.

After my little Pete died, I realized we don’t really “own” these animals, but merely lease them and are but responsible stewards their lives here on Earth.

They teach us selfless love and I’d like to think as spirits that progress through many lives, they learn all about human love from us- highs and lows, and everything in between- warts and all. One of my dogs was badly abused and we rescued him, and earning his trust took years but is one of the most rewarding things to accomplish.

The two months I grieved, I also felt my husband and I had a “gap” there in our relationship. It was SO painful to come home to an empty house and wake up with no dog. Like when my father died, I gave him space to grieve his own way, but I was the one that went right out and got our next dog.

The experience of death makes me revere and cherish every moment with our three new dogs, we honor Pete by taking as good care as possible with these three new dogs, and each one has a little trait that our old dog had, it really tugs at my heart.

Please, if you’re mourning more than a few months, make a list of what you would want out of your next dog. When I got Pete when I was single, I knew he had to be small enough to travel, not cost very much so I could afford the vet and his care, and older and housebroken rather than a puppy, because I was working full time. When you make a list, you will attract the right replacement pet to you!

Go to a rescue, we were very discerning and I knew exactly what I was looking for when I sought a new dog, and we wanted more than one so they wouldn’t be alone.

Honestly OP, I’m not sure you ever get over it totally. I had to put my cat to sleep 22 years ago, & thinking about her still brings tears to my eyes.

Its tough. We lost our cat 4 weeks ago, we miss him every day. We miss our pet rituals, the companionship, the "can I get on your lap now"? Cherish those moments, I will from now on....

What a lovely thread.

Yes, OP. My pets were both killed last year. My dog Brandy who I had for 13 yrs. Shed been hit by car and I nursed her back to health. My cat Blossom, I miss her too. Its heart wrenching. I'm very sorry OP.❤

Thank you for the kind words R4 R12 R13 R17 R26 R38 R48 and everyone else on here writing about their experiences

I haven't really told anyone because it's hard to talk about it without getting emotional so I appreciate the good wishes and thoughts

My best friend, the closest I will ever come to having a child, passed away at 14 years and 1 month. Passed away 1 1/2 years ago and I still mourn everyday especially at night, when I'm sitting in the dark watching tv and I look around for him....

Every morning when I wake up and every night before I go to bed, I kiss his remains in a URN next to my bed on the nightstand that has photos of him when he was a puppy and in old age. I know I will NEVER get over him. It just is. I don't think I'll ever get another dog, since I don't think I can go thru the devastating pain of having to put another one to sleep and to where with my baby boy to this day a year and a half later, I still feel guilty and question my decision, although the VET again and again said it was time...

I still cannot watch video of him..

I can’t read the comments here because it’s painful and brings up bad memories but I wanted to give you a virtual hug, losing a beloved pet is devastating and you really never get over it but time will help you heal.

Can you get away for a week? That's what I did and it helped a bit. It's so hard being home and your sweet pup isn't there. I condole you, OP.

I have ca, 30.000 pictures of my Fox Terrier girl on my computer and iPhone. As somebody said above, she has so much "bratty personality that she kind of dominates the family's attention." I can't help but photograph her. I don't know what to do with the photos once she is gone. I should really not think about this.... OP and everybody else here, I feel with you.

R50, I'm just so sorry. Loss, is so hard to deal with. I sit up at alone and think about so many people and things I've lost. It'll get easier, OP, although it in the moment it's hard to Believe. I'll be thinking of you tonight and yes, I'll say a prayer.❤️

[R25] [R35] It's a reference to Arrested Development, they call jelly beans candy beans and when they are sad they eat "whole things" of them. I just thought I'd add a little joke reference in case they were a fan to make them half smile and feel okay about feeling a lil sad. I used to eat a "whole thing" of chocolate covered frosting when a pet died but I find as I age my tolerance for pure sugar has dwindled, so I just buy a nice chocolate bar now instead

OP, ❤️

Yes. I have always loved my dogs very deeply.

Two of them are in urns in my room.

I’m so sorry on your loss. My Daisy just turned thirteen. I’m just dreading her loss. She recently had a cancer scare and had a growth removed from her back leg. Thankfully, it wasn’t cancer and she’s in good shape.

Dogs love unconditionally. I think they really are magical.

I sometimes say a prayer up to heaven for my beloved puddycat.

Get another dog...I never owned a dog till I was in my 30's...We added a second one when he became.sick

Don’t worry, the rainbow bridge will connect you with them in the afterlife.

My old kitty died last year, and he was just a perfect cat! I mean he was a big dope, but he was the sweetest thing, and we had the kind of relationship where we could look into each other's eyes... and just *know* each other's heart. You get that with the very best animals. I had him for 18 years of dopey sweetness, and as he got old the shit hit the fan, and he had to stick around to see me through the two worst years of my entire life! He didn't leave me until things were fantastically better.

There's a new kitten now, there's always a new kitten who needs a home, but damn! I miss my old boy, I just don't have the same kind of relationship with my new boy.

Is it a good idea to get a new pup when your old dog gets up there (and infirm)? Or are you making the senior’s life more miserable? Do they get grumpy and jealous?

OP, i am so sory. It hurts like hell. There are no words that ease the pain of a shattered heart.

I lost my dog, Buddy, 2 weeks ago. God knows I’ve lost many cats and dogs, but this has absolutely broken my heart. Buddy brought the police and EMTs to our door when my husband had the accident that ultimately took his life.

Hugs to all the posters who have loved and lost sweet pets.

OP— many eloquent posters above say it all.

It took a long time before I could tell stories about my cat without tearing up. Let time heal the worse bits and grieve as long as you need.

Fuck those who say you should just “get over it” as your pet was “only” an animal. They are insensitive clods and assholes.

My dog is only two and I'm already dreading the ultimate ending. He's a shiba so he's not particularly cuddly but I've poured so much time and effort into making his life the best I can and I feel so responsible for his little life that the thought of him not being here already makes me teary even though I know he should have many years to go.

My cat died 3 weeks ago. I have cried every day since. It has led to a depressive episode. I am not a people person. He was my baby.

I don't even want to think about the day any of my 3 rescue kitties die. I've had lots of pets in my lifetime (dogs and cats), but I've never had such a deep emotional connection with pets as I have with these 3 little ones. I have to wonder if it's because I'm 70 years old and retired since 2007. They literally are like my 3 children. Every decision I make revolves around their needs.

My sweet boy is 11 and when I think about him dying I get weepy

I will be a basket case

Question-do you think at 65 I’m too old to get another dog?

I’d be walking him at 80!!

My pets visit me in dreams

One thing I learned from having to put 2 dogs to sleep. Make sure yours is the last face they see. Not the vet's. Yours.

I agree r71 ! I’m always with them as they cross the 🌈 bridge

Adding my experience to send vibes of peace to OP. I love our animals completely and unconditionally and losing them is a pain like none other.

One book that helped me when our pointer mix died unexpectedly in the summer of 2021 was "The Pet Loss Companion." It's a slim book that (per the authors' preface) is deliberately written with very short, simple sentences for the benefit of people who may be having a hard time focusing due to being in acute grief (which was me).

It was such a helpful book that I've thought about buying several copies and donating to our vet's office to give to pet families who are grieving.

I'm sorry for your loss.

So sorry r73 thank you for your post

Of course we do OP…I lost 4 old pets in less than 6 months…I’m still heartbroken

R69. I recently got two cats. They were both about 7 months at the time. I’ll be 68 in a couple of months…I’d rather grow old with them then most any human….get a pet for yourself

R75, I can’t live without a dog / and cat

No, my life isn't complete unless I'm sharing my home with some animals.

The price we pay for their companionship is the grief of losing them too soon, unless you have a parrot or giant tortoise that will outlive you. And then, you have to make arrangements for their care if after you're gone, or unable to care for them. And if you're talking a parrot or other long-lived bird, you also need a high tolerance for shrieking...

I can’t either r76. At this point cats are easier than a dog for me to care for. I find cats once bonded to you are just as affectionate as a dog

I just got my first cat in 2 decades a few months ago. He is a floppy, purry blob of preciousness who’ll curl up on me at any opportunity and fall asleep.

I’m trying not to gauge how long his life will be. At least he’s only 1 year old. I think one has to just appreciate them while they’re here, and stay in denial about how they don’t last as long as we mortals.

Look at that precious baby having his nappy time.

OP, and everyone else who is grieving, I am very sorry you are going through this.

I lost my 20 year Ragdoll cat two years ago and I think about him all the time but the physical pain of grief eased for me after a few weeks. I was grateful I had him so long and treasure our year of COVID lockdown together.

One thing that definitely helped me overcome my grief was my other cat and our dog. My Ragdoll considered himself my equal and the other cat and dog as our pets. The other cat showed up as a sickly stray, I took her in, got her healthy, tried to find her family and eventually kept her. The dog I adopted from my niece who couldn’t keep him. So I wasn’t actively looking to expand the animal family, it just happened and he seemed to know that.

Once he died we were all mourning the loss. The other cat became very affectionate. She would let me rub her belly as I was falling asleep each night, which she never did before, and still indulges me. The dog, who was always affectionate, stayed super close to me. It was like they were taking care of me even though I still had to take care of them.

For those of you considering another pet maybe think about adopting one whose owner has passed away? That’s how I ended up with my Ragdoll. My friend just took in his neighbor’s dog after she died in surgery. It’s never easy when a beloved pet is left with no one and ends up in a shelter. They are doubly heartbroken.

And for those of you who live alone with pets, please make an official plan for their care if something happens to you.

[quote]r80 Look at that precious baby having his nappy time.

He’s a tiny bit cross eyed. I didn’t even notice till his second day home, the LOVE was so strong [bold] : )

OP, sorry for your lossie.

Yes, I still miss the beagle I had, growing up. Beagle ears are the softest.

Kittymouse Supreme knows he's a star.

Sorry for your loss, Op. 💔 😢

Losing a beloved pet is no different than losing a beloved family member or friend. It hurts like hell. For me, getting another dog when Maxine died was the best medicine, but when Max then died I had my elderly mom and dad with me, so another puppy was out of the question. I now volunteer at the local animal shelter as a dog walker and it's been wonderful having all the dog love I can handle 🤗

@r70, "My pets visit me in dreams "

I dream of Max and Maxine all the time. They let me know they're waiting on the other side whenever I'm ready

OP, my condolences on your loss. I still think about and miss my childhood dog regularly.

I have a friend who lost her beloved dog last year. The dog was there to comfort them when she and her husband lost their daughter to cancer a couple of years ago. They don’t want another dog who might outlive them so they’ve started dog sitting. It’s been a great comfort to them and it’s been a blessing for the people that they sit for, including my wife and me. They are like the dog’s grandparents. If you don’t want to get a permanent dog again, perhaps you can consider that when some time has passed.

R82 , he is absolutely perfect. You can expect about twenty years of love and affection from Kittymouse Supreme

When we lost our dog of 16 years, the people in the lobby of the veterinary hospital could hear my partner sobbing in the grieving room. We have two fun cats now, and I told my partner they will more than likely outlive us.

YES! My baby died last december and it has taken 6months for me not to cry when i think of him. It was like a stab to my heart.

Oh man, I just lost my sweet little Man (Yorkie) to cancer last week. He died in his bed. Just so very devastating to process. I know he is happier and at peace I just miss his presence so much sometimes it hurts very bad. We still have his sister who looks identical to him so it plays with my emotions. Today I swore he was walking in the door and it was his sister. RIP my sweet little angel boy.

I think it is particularly heart-breaking as we are their forever caretakers, other humans are expected to have a fair degree of autonomy , but our pets rely on us for a lot. To see them pass can feel like a failure, though of course it is only natural for them to go

R92 so very true.

R89 I’m so very sorry. I feel your pain. My husband and I share in your sadness. Death is so final, but unfortunately it’s a circle of life.

OP, I feel and honor your sadness and pain. I wish you much hope, love and peace.

Lap of love offers free pet loss support groups as well as paid individual support sessions and a 6 week course to help navigate the grief due to pet-loss.

It’s actually been incredibly helpful- grieving a pet is a disenfranchised grief. Surround yourself with people who understand… it’s the only way to get thru it.

My heart is with everyone who is grieving/mourning their pet right now.

Forgot to mention the support groups are online.

I'm so sorry OP. I hope you're doing better. I understand and have been there. Please adopt again, there are so many that need an owner like you.

It's the absolute worst and I don't know if you ever get over it, but you get through it as cliched as it sounds, one day at a time. Allow yourself the time to grieve properly. It takes a long time to adjust to them not being around all the time. If you can go away for a short while, that can help - get out of your usual environment/reminders.

Had to put my dog dog not quite a year and a half ago (after 14 years) and it feels at least twice as long...

I still feel so so guilty that I wasn't there in the room when they gave him the "final shot". The only reason I was not in the room, because I had asked the Vet how do dogs react when you give them the final shot and the Vet said all dogs act differently, some will violent shake, some will start yelping and so on. All reactions I DID NOT want to see or hear, so I waited in the lobby...

I'm crying now as I type this. My only saving grace is that I try to tell myself, that after they gave him the first shot, the powerful sedative, his eyes were already closed and he was already so out of it, that perhaps he didn't even know I wasn't in the room? That is the only thing that keeps me hanging on...

I still wonder if I should have got a second opinion on just how bad he was, but according to this VET it was time... He was still eating, drinking and slowly walking around, but his chronic bronchitis and breathing issues were so bad, the Vet said it was like him trying to breathe thru a coffee stirrer straw, despite the various medications he was on. Eventually very soon his breathing tubes would close entirely, he would go into cardiac arrest and trust me, the Vet said, you don't want to see THAT!...

He was my best friend, my child. Every morning and every night before bed, I kiss his remains in the urn that sits on my nightstand by my bed along with his collar, leash and photos....

My dog was killed two years ago and the grieving still is terrible.

I didn't. Still tear up talking about them three decades later. I'll never have pets again; couldn't deal with the grief.

Sending love to you, OP. It's a terrible time.

Also just want to add that the rescue organization we've worked with to adopt our two current dogs (as well as the previous one, who died tragically) said something simple that really helped us, which is that "people who love dogs should have dogs." Even despite the unbearable sadness that comes one day when they inevitably leave us. Dogs need people who love them.

It did ultimately make it easier to channel the grief energy into loving another dog, because I knew I was honoring the memory of our late dog by doing so (even though I sobbed all the way to the rescue when we adopted again, because it was at that moment that it truly hit me that Oliver was no longer our dog).

It's difficult sometimes to simply go outside for walk since every step along the way triggers memories specific to walking my dog along the same path

So I've been practicing this meditation/relaxation technique called the "Meditation Cabin", where you just imagine you have a cabinet in the woods, and when things get stressful you go there in your mind for a little while. It really is a nice technique, for the last few months when things get stressful I close my eyes and spend a moment there, in the hammock on the imaginary porch or kayaking on my imaginary lazy river, looking at the wildflowers in the imaginary woods. Only now... the wonderful old cat who died last year has moved in! I didn't intend it to happen, but he's there, lying with me on the hammock, sitting on my lap in the chair in the dock, walking through the woods with me, and so on. It seems he's there to stay.

And now I'm grieving again, a year after he left me, and with the stray kitten I took in after I lost him nearly grown. My late kitty really was the best fellow, and now I'm missing him almost as much as I did a year ago. Pet grief is real.

Agree r105. Hugs to you.

Geez.. what was going on in the pet world 3-4 weeks ago? I also had to say goodbye to my dog of 12 years last month. It has truly been awful. The only time I feel any sort of peace is when I'm out of the house and that is short lived because then you have to go home and not be greeted by a dog that shows more excitement and happiness to see you than any human ever could.

Sigh..

hugs to all.

Yes. One of my primary emotional relationships is with a dog. I will be devastated when she dies. I always grieve deeply over dogs.

R105 I love listening to guided meditations.

Petting my 13 year old buddy as I read this. They take a part of our hearts with them when they go. Guileless, innocent, loyal....and it's like a parent losing a child. I used to say it was harder than losing a human... but it's just different.

R100, I’ve had to say goodbye to several pets and can’t bring myself to dwell on this, but know that the sedative they use is very powerful and fast-acting. They’d not aware of anything after that.

Sending my strongest thoughts to anyone grieving the loss of a beloved animal. It is honestly such a deep love.

For those feeling guilty about anything, just remember you did the best you could with the information you had at the time.

My elderly dog died last summer and it look me a solid year to feel somewhat recovered … although it’s still hard for me to think about her without falling apart.

One thing that helped me was writing down all the sweet and silly things she did that were uniquely her. As memories popped into my mind, I jotted them down. Someday, I’ll create a nicer booklet, but right now it’s just an old notebook.

I saved her sterling dog tag and will someday wear it on a long chain. Right now it’s sitting on my dresser.

I listen to a lot of online masses, which surprised me because even though I was raised Catholic I’m not religious. I think I was craving the steady, calm routine of traditional prayers. It really helped in the first weeks and months.

Also, I had to develop some new routines. It took me a good six months before I could listen to my regular upbeat iTunes mixes, which surprised me because music always cheered me up. I started reading more.

Hang in there everyone. Take advantage of the online pet loss forums - before and after. I didn’t know anticipatory grief was a thing until it hit me a few months before my dog’s passing when she went downhill. There is comfort in connecting with people going through the same thing at the same time.

R96 I wholeheartedly endorse Lap of Love. Their online forums got me through the first few weeks. They also host anticipatory grief support groups, for those who are living with the grief that comes when you know what’s coming.

I love my cats Mew Mew and Shera. They're sisters and I go looking for them at night when they don't return by 8 pm. They're awesome!!

It's been 4 months without my beautiful boy and i miss him terribly but i am doing better now. If only though i could see him one more time and just tell him how much i loved him. sigh

I'm still missing my two buddies, Mooshu and T-Bone. They both got cancer at the end of 2021, and I had to put them down.

I recall back in 2009 when I first adopted these two littermates, I consulted DL since I was really not sure I did the right thing by adopting them. It was my first time, and I was not sure I could handle the responsibility after having taken them in. Many on DL gave me support, hints for adjustment, and a couple of folks gave me the bluntness too ("take them back to the shelter now, before they become attached to you").

I am glad I kept them, they made my life so much happier, and when I met my partner, he too was charmed by them and it helped seal the deal with this new man. Now here we are, over two years without our buddies, and we are still grieving them. It's a bit easier than it was a couple years ago, for sure, but man. Even today I thought I saw one of them in the chair looking at me.

Hugs to all our haunted humans, who loved their buddies and babies.