DL Wit & Wisdom

RE: Christian Bale 'flew off the handle after family begged for $200,000 (£100k)

"Though Jenny Bale - who formerly worked as a circus clown and now is a reflexologist"

Big floppy shoes and Kinoki Foot Pads ain't cheap, you know.

-- Anonymous

RE: Obama to Avoid Speaking German

I hear McCain has announced he is going to speak in Vienna since that is the capital of the Austria-Hungarian Empire and then hopes to meet with the Czar in Russia. He is not to be outdone by that youngster Obama.

-- Anonymous

RE: What do Americans with no health insurance do when they get cancer

The general consensus among Americans is that people shouldn't get diseases they can't afford.

-- Anonymous

RE: What's the lesbian equivalent of "Mary!"

"That's Not Funny".

-- Anonymous

RE: Christian Bale is Arrested

Probably got tired of hearing them say how wonderful Heath is in the movie.

-- Anonymous

RE: I wish this was MY coach when I was eight

"This teacher should have been more circumspect. "

So he was uncut? Obviously not Jewish because they get circumspected as infants. I think they call the cerimony a brisket.

-- Son of Emily Litella

RE: Why the hell doesn't Batman just kill people

Honey, stop worrying about this and come to bed.

-- Laura Bush

RE: Office Bromance

Yes, OP, they call it a bromance, and when they're together these straight friends often enjoy what's called brojobs, brimming, and branal.

-- Anonymous

RE: Last night

"I drank bourbon and fell down. I cut my hand, skinned my knee and broke my sunglasses. Now my head hurts. I'm too old for this!"

And, yet, somehow still leader of the Free World.

-- Anonymous

RE: Who will be the next "Batman" villain?

Noodles, a mumu-wearing obese queen who zooms around Gotham on his Noodlemobile, zapping the virility out of men with his pervcam.

-- Anonymous