Let's demand Hallmark support true American family values!

Congratulations On Your Third Marriage, Having Dumped the Wife You Dumped Your First Wife For Right After She Got Cancer

Congratulations On Dumping Your Crippled Wife for a Rich Bitch

Congratulations On Dumping the Wife Who Helped You Recover From Your War Injuries (And Paying No Child Support)

Congratulations On...Hell, Rudy, I Can't Even Keep Track

-- Anonymous

earrings

caftans

-- Anonymous

God, do people really think that New Yorkers are running around with crack pipes hanging out of their mouths and automatic weapons blazing?

Of course not. Most people know the difference between New York and Miami.

-- Anonymous

"Ricky Martin Welcomes Twin Boys"

The visual I had reading this line had nothing to do with parenthood and everything to do with double penetration.

-- Anonymous

Above 110th Street? He's history.

If the Cathedral of St. John the Divine, Columbia University, Barnard College, The Riverside Church, Union Seminary, and the Jewish Theological Seminary don't get him, Grant's Tomb will.

-- Anonymous

He's neither. He has one of the female swimmers lay eggs on the bottom of the pool, and then he swims over them and fertilizes them.

Takes about five minutes.

-- Anonymous

I had the Bedknobs and Broomsticks one in first grade. Looking back I think it's extraordinarily fabulous that they made Angela Lansbury lunchboxes for six year old gay-boys.

-- Anonymous

the dinghy banging loosely against the Splendor

-- Liza Minelli

Elect a Democrat.

-- Anonymous

"he swears it works"

Then obviously it doesn't.

-- Anonymous

I hate missionaries too, but I LOVE to fuck in their position!

-- Anonymous

It's like someone plucked the head of bored Palos Verdes housewife and put it on a college gymnast's body!

-- Anonymous

The technology has greatly improved since the 2004 games when the sensors were made by Diebold. Remember everyone's shock when at the end of the Men's 200m Freestyle the times came up and George W. Bush had the Gold?

-- Anonymous

>> What is the technology?

There are tiny windows in the end of the pool and midgets sit in little compartments watching the race. When a swimmer touches the window, the midget yells the name of the swimmer and the head midget records it on a sheet of papyrus with a quill pen made from the feather of a hawk that lives on Mount Olympus.

-- Anonymous

It's like she's talking about ME!

-- Anonymous

Why would I be scared? I'm not Mayan.

Can you imagine how WE feel?

-- Miss Angelou and Miss Rudolph

She is lucky to be born at all.

-- Minister of "One Child" Policy.

"What quality does 'batshit' add?"

A tangy yet subtle flavor reminiscent of tamarind, OP.

-- Anonymous

"Chuck Lorre, who wrote for Brett Butler, Cybill Shepherd, and Roseanne."

Wow--he really hit the Bitchfecta, didn't he?

-- Anonymous

And yet when she comes out her face will be strangely taut.

-- Anonymous

Horton has a ho?

-- Anonymous

London or Madrid

-- Anonymous

Who needs it? I've been completely invisible in gay bars for YEARS.

-- Anonymous

Obama/Minnelli '08!

-- yesh we can!

"on CNN now."

I don't know about anyone else, but if I had to choose between Larry King Live and Isaac Hayes Dead on CNN, I'd have a hell of a time making a choice.

-- Anonymous

Yes, Liza.

-- Anonymous

"The chauvinism, jingoism and arrogance of the Chinese top even the Americans. The World is f*cked."

Well, they have been around for 10000 years and invented paper, printing and were pioneers in agriculture. We're 250 years old and perfected marketing. Calm down.

-- Anonymous

It looks like a Scandinavian detox facility.

The Betty Fjord Clinic.

-- Anonymous

OMG...I'm in Atlanta. Are we safe?

-- Anonymous

Scent of a Woman

-- Cheryl

"Malgorzata is being treated for shock."

Her second time in shock treatment; the first was when she found out her parents named her Malgorzata.

-- Anonymous

Bitch was desperate to get nailed.

-- Anonymous

The pre-invasion aerial photos of Iraq weren't photoshopped that much.

-- Anonymous

Donna Brazile just choked on her cheeseburger.

-- Anonymous

From her campaign speeches I think that John McCain would most likely be her VP choice.

-- Anonymous

36 million legs and not one to stand on.

-- Anonymous

Yep. That's a HUGE reason.

But the main reason is because he's too old and is showing signs of mental infirmity and has an uncontrollable temper and acts and speaks impulsively and is a sexist pig and a corporate asshole licking millionaire with a wife who defines elitist cunt and because he is a political reactionary warmonger who hasn't had an original insightful thought in his head in 25 years and thinks healthcare reform can be trusted to insurance companies and the pharmaceutical industry and that oil companies need more money and because he renounced the last shred of whatever independence he once had by selling out to the fundie freaks who think their religion is our government and he embodies the past and old ideas and is the nominee of the party that ruled unfettered for 6 years and used tragedy and terror as a political tool and fucked up the country in every conceivable way.

Thats the main reason for not voting for McCain.

I think there might be a few others.

-- Anonymous

Ten years from now we will read that this was when the tragic addiction to painkillers began.

-- Anonymous

"Why didn't he marry Bernadette? Nice hairy chest and ass."

That's not a very nice thing to say about Miss Peters. She sees an electrolysist now to take care of that unfortunate little problem.

-- Anonymous

Well, what are two bears SUPPOSED to do in the woods?

-- Anonymous

We can only hope they take the bus while in Canada.

-- Anonymous

but the play has made millions.

So does crack cocaine; that doesn't make it art.

-- Leonard Pinth Garnell

OP, occam's razor has to do with the simplest *explanation* usually being the correct one, not the simplest answer being the best. for example, people have concocted dozens of complicated conspiracy theories to explain the JFK assassination, but following occam's razor, it was likely the result of a rogue gunman who went off the deep end, like r3 said.

i don't really think you can use occam's razor to give advice, such as "just say no." like, "what should i eat tonight? i'll just reheat those leftovers in the fridge, because that's the simplest thing to do." that's more like "dr. phil's razor."

-- skinwoman

"How many abortions has Sherri had? It has to be at least two."

She said is was more than she could count, which to me meant one.

-- Anonymous

I've already addressed this in my blog.

-- Torta

All this jealousy and resentment boils down to one sad and incontrovertible fact: Princess Michael of Kent is a genuine princess and David Patrick Columbia is only a pretend one.

-- Anonymous

So... I've been warning against the regular kind for years.

-- 'Mo with a lot of clueless "straight guy" friends.

Oh, please. There are people scolding OP for being surprised that his being gay is in the local paper when they'd be horrified if the Mount Pilate Clarion or whatever their local paper is called announced they were gay.

Here's a lesson for some of you. Being "visibly gay from space" is still a little different than having it announced in print.

We're all quite aware that you did a perfect, weary, gin soaked interpretation of "The Man Who Got Away" at age 5, but that's still a bit different than having your picture printed in the paper with the caption, "Noted Cocksucker."

-- Anonymous

Vote Republican.

-- Anonymous

I think you've crossed from latent to blatant once a cock has passed through your lips, R28.

-- Anonymous