I''m freaking out about the procedure cause I''m a big baby. I don''t want to feel ANYTHING. I don''t want it to hurt and I can''t stand the thought of a tube snaking around inside my bowels. I''m getting a cold sweat just typing this. Can they knock me out completely? Do I HAVE to be awake? Is it gonna hurt?\
Reassure me DL brethren\
Big Ol'' Crybaby
Well, I just had one a couple weeks ago. The prep was miralax in a big, giant bottle of gatorade and I did manage to drink almost all of that. You will spend a great deal of time going back and forth to the bathroom for most of the night. I did manage to go to sleep around 3 or 4 am. \
That was about as hard as it gets. When you get to the outpatient hospital area, they will give you an iv with fluids and have you get on the table and wheel you into the procedure room.\
The last thing I remember is the nurse saying move over and lay on your left side, and that she was giving me the meds in the iv.\
Remember absolutely nothing. Woke up back in the bed I started out in. Felt fine. Went home and had lunch.\
Any more questions, just ask.
I agree with r1. Everyone told me the prep was the worst part and I didn''t believe it because, well, they''re sticking a camera up your butt. But seriously, you will either be knocked out or so high on whatever they give you, you honestly won''t care there''s a camera up your butt.
My mom had one a few months ago. She said she went in, got on the table, was drugged up and the next thing she remembers is the doctor and nurse standing a little ways away drinking coffee. She laid there wishing they''d just hurry up and get it done. The nurse came over and said she could get dressed. Didn''t remember anything at all.%0D\
As usual, the prep was the worst part but her''s wasn''t even that bad. Just don''t eat a big steak dinner, etc., for a few days leading up to the prep.
The worst is watching the video
I''ve had numerous endoscopies and colonoscopies, so relax, it doesn''t hurt. The prep for the colonoscopy is the worst part as that stuff tastes vile. Don''t eat anything red for the day before (like red jello) and accept the fact that you will be tired after, so take it easy for the rest of the day. Use very soft toilet paper and see if you can get a friend to take you home afterward. Some offices insist on that.
Not to make OP faint straight away but the worst is when they find a giant parasite. Wiggle, wiggle.
I''m always amazed that they have meds that knock you out without having to be on a ventilator.%0D\
I was knocked out and had no memory of anything. Slept thru it all and the meds instantly knocked me out. One Two Three and I was out.%0D\
The prep is hideous but the procedure is a piece of cake.
You will be able to shit through the eye of a needle beforehand, OP, but fine after. %0D
At least you don''t have to climb through your old chimney to get to the bathroom!
R1, didn''t you have to have someone escort you home?
We are so grateful that Mary Baker Eddy has long since freed us from the scourge of ''doctoring''!
Mrs Patrick Campbell
You will be fine, OP! The prep is indeed the worst part. %0D\
I had a lot of fun on the Versed... it was like a really powerful daydream for me, where I could drift off and look at the pretty colors but they occasionally would get my attention if they needed to shift me around. Twenty minutes passes in the blink of an eye. The best part was having an argument with my crazy mom on the way home and not remembering a word of it. %0D\
It didn''t hurt. It''ll be over before you know it!%0D\
Really concentrate on hydrating during your prep day... I thought I did, but they still needed to put additional fluid in my IV because they said I was dehydrated.
Just lie back and think of England, dear!
I''m having one on December 27. Merry Christmas!
I''ve had two. And I agree that the night before prep is the worst. Get an early appointment on the day of the procedure otherwise you''ll have to suffer through the day without eating.%0D\
Both times I''ve left the procedure and went for lunch. There really isn''t anything to it.
I''ve had 3 of them, the prep is the worst part. I drove myself so I didn''t take the meds they offered, layed on my side and watched the whole procedure on the tv screen. It doesn''t hurt at all. You do feel a little pressure when the tube gets way up in the intestine but that lasts a couple of seconds only. Man up, you''ve had worse paper cuts!
I got mine, complete with Propofol as the anesthesia, before the Michael Jackson scandal. I can see why MJ liked it. It''s weird because it puts you under mostly instantly, and regaining consciousness is like turning on a light. Very few side effects. It''s sort of strange stuff.
Don''t get one. Colon cancer probably is a lot easier to have than a colonoscopy.
Why are you having one? Love, Perspective
The process is easy.\
For me, even the day-before prep was easy. I decided that on the last day or so that I could eat prior to the procedure I would eat high fiber, so I at rice an beans. Therefore, my "cleansing" day was super easy.\
I agree with the advice to get an early appointment for the procedure so that there is little waiting and you can be back home early in the day.\
Wear something that you can get in and out of easily, such as sweats and T-shirt. After the procedure, you will about half dazed and getting dressed needs to be as easy as possible.\
I was knocked out completely during the procedure, but was a little goofy afterward with absolutely no memory of what I said on the ride home.
Jesus, OP! Man-up, Mary!
They do pre-lube you, OP. No worries.
Americans. I can''t believe you get knocked out for a colonoscopy. Your medical industry just looks for ways to "upsell" and charge you more. Unbelievable.%0D\
Also OP, you''re getting worked up about a diagnostic procedure - you should be more concerned about what they might find. Be glad they''re going in to investigate, they might find out something you need to know.
I don''t believe a gay man would be frightened to get something huge up his ass!
[quote]Americans. I can''t believe you get knocked out for a colonoscopy. Your medical industry just looks for ways to "upsell" and charge you more. Unbelievable.\
How do they do them abroad?
[quote]How do they do them abroad?\
The NHS makes you provide your own sling.
Well, I had a half colonoscopy and then a full colonoscopy earlier this year and I think they just gave me a muscle relaxer or something mild. Whatever it was, I was never unconscious and there was no I.V. that I recall. There''s not much to it, really.
If you are hot - which we doubt - maybe the doctor will put his tongue up your GrandCanyon, Mary OP!
OP.... look at it this way.... the drugs they give you are PHENOMENAL! You will never feel so relaxed and at peace!
That sums up the DL philosophy which is:\
"Sex = bad, drugs = ok"
Surely you''ve had something larger than a garden hose penetrate your rosebud, OP.
it doesn''t hurt. at all.\
The drugs are goooood.%0D\
The night before? Don''t stray far from the bathroom! %0D\
I woke up in the middle of mine...
My mom had one, but was horrified that the gastro doc was a friend of hers and she didn''t want him to see her "whole ass".%0D\
She wore big granny panties the day of the procedure and cut a hole in the back of them in the middle, then taped the hole open with black electrical tape to mark the spot.
To all the bottoms, isn''t this how you prep before anal sex?
I was awake for my colonoscopy and I saw everything my Dad told me to shove up my ass.
did you just turn 50, OP? if so, good for you for taking care of yourself. \
scroll down page at link to see a random animation about colorectal cancer screenings made by a former South Park animator. \
Sorry, wusses, but I''ve never had any drugs for any of my colonoscopies (4 to date, every 5 years). The doctor actually said he wishes more people would do it this way. It''s over quicker and no hangover. And, no, it''s not painful - at most a little uncomfortable - and you fart A LOT!!!!
OP here. Thanks for the replies!
Big Ol'' Crybaby
Versid, the drug they give you to put you in a kind of twilight state, is AWESOME. Ask for some to take home with you! It''s not that hard to hook up your own drip.
Yes, you are required to have someone else drive you home.
They knock you out with good drugs and if you have a good Dr, he will give you a script for 24 vicodin and an antibiotic
Unfortunately, I''ve had several.%0D\
I usually slow things down the day before prep day--no heavy foods, soups, etc.%0D\
The best-tasting prep is MoviPrep. Avoid taking the tablets--they can cause some serious medical problems and will make you so cold you''ll have to sleep with a heating pad.%0D\
I''ve been awake through a couple of my procedures, and I don''t really recommend that. Propofol is the best stuff because it puts you out, but it wears off quickly.%0D\
All in all, it''s not too bad. It''s only 24 hours or so out of your life, so man up and take it in stride.
GET IT!!! Its not so bad - you don''t feel and thing and believe me you''ll be glad you did. Had my first one and they found two tumors in my colon (had no symptoms at all).\
Doesn''t hurt a bit and the worst is really the prep.
Mine was fast and easy--and funny. %0D\
It was just me and the nurse and the doctor in the room. I was lying on my back on the table and the doctor asked me to roll over on my side with my backside to him.%0D\
As I did this, I hear the doctor exclaim:%0D\
''Look at the size of that hole!'' I look up at the nurse and say, ''is he talking to me?''%0D\
Trying to keep a straight face, she looks at the doctor and asks him.%0D\
As it turns out, right when I rolled over, the doctor had walked over to the window and looked down onto a huge construction site where they had dug very, very deep leaving a large hole, hence his comment.%0D\
He was mortified.
Thank you for the laugh Dr. Kang
What happens if you somehow aren''t "spring-time fresh" when you go? I mean, the prep is guaranteed to make you clean as a whistle? I have problems with constipation so what if some poo stays in my colon? Would the whole procedure be a waste of time and...money?
Big Ol'' Crybaby
Not much to add to the "the prep is the worst part" opinions here, except that I had several of mine overseas and was not knocked out during.\
Even so, the drugs were great, and I seem to recall breaking out into song during one of them. Apparently I was very entertaining, or so the doctors and nurses in recovery told me.\
Because I''m not at high risk for pooper cancer my internist says I can wait another four years to go in for my first colonoscopy. I''m relieved because I''ve been dreading it. Not because of the pain--I''m actually more afraid of the anesthetic. But I don''t like the idea of having to get one of my friends to take me there and back. I wouldn''t mind at all going with somebody else, but for some reason asking someone to go with me to have my butthole examined skeeves me out.
When you wake up, you are in a room with a bunch of people that just had the same thing done and everyone is farting. Sounds like a bad Jr. High School Band.
The prep is the worst part and it isn''t that bad. What I had to drink tasted like watered down thick sprite and frankly downing that and then spending the next hour and half in the restroom was the worst part. Then I had some jello for dinner, went to bed, got up the next morning, was put under and didn''t feel or remember a thing.\
It''s really more of a hassle than anything else.
You don''t have to have anyone pick you up, r41, if you don''t take the meds. Another reason I do it that way.
So you fart during AND after the procedure? The during part sounds mildly embarrassing, even if the doctors and nurses are of course used to it... but if there is a lot of farting after it''s done then that would make me choose my ride home person carefully.
yeah, I''m a prude
I have a hairy whole. Does that make any difference? Are you supposed to shave it?
In the recovery room, R52, the circulating nurses keep telling everyone to ''Let it out!''. At the hospital I went to, there were actually ventilation ducts above the beds to suck up the foul air.
About gas: The doctor is supposed to get it OUT of your system before sending you to recovery!%0D\
I''ve now had 5 colonoscopies, each time finding polyps, so I''m on a 3-year schedule. %0D\
I didn''t have gas.
My mother''s 85 year old Bridge friend "decided" the purge was too much and decided to opt out before it was done.%0D\
She shat all over everyone and they sent her home.%0D\
When I went with a friend for his colonoscopy, the nurse told me that a physician in the same clinic had his done with no meds whatsoever because he wanted to go right back to work.\
I''m one of those people who completely freak out when having an IV put in, so I''m planning to ask for the same deal. I''m much more afraid of the needle in the arm and that stupid rubber thing they squeeze your arm with than the camera up the butt.
Thank you for posting, r45!!!!!
I can''t believe there are people who would choose to do that all day for a living.. look at someone''s asshole.%0D\
r34, are you kidding about your mom doing that?%0D\
I''m 43, and not looking forward to it. Although I am female, maybe women start doing that at an older age? (please tell me yes)%0D\
OMG r54, I am suppose to fart in a room with other people recovering.
Wow, the fear of dying from colon cancer trumps any fear I have of people hearing me fart. \
The first colonoscopy I had, I watched it on TV under a mild sedative. The others since then were with a different doctor, and I had the Valium & Propofol. Easy peasy, and I took the rest of the day off in all cases. \
A friend of the family, a modest woman too shy to go to the gynecologist, died of uterine cancer in her 60s. Preventable but for her misplaced fear. Please develop some perspective!
r62, I am going to do it.. bbut am going to bitch about it too.
Be a man, girl!\
You don''t need any anesthesia. Find a hot doctor, take a bottle of poppers, put Gloria Gaynor on your iPod and give it a go!
What about those who don''t have anyone to drive them home -- do they have to do it without meds?
Ditto on the prep bad, drugs great part. Piece of cake or is it, cak?\
It may sound weird but I felt really good after the thorough flushing out of my system. No one has mentioned that.
If you have no one to drive you home they have to keep you there until you feel well enough to leave on your own.
You get pumped full of drugs and then you get to have a big thing up your ass. How is this different from any night in Chelsea?
Oh R57, you''re the one that''s full of shit.%0D\
They take an abdominal x-ray, called a scout film, to see if you''re cleaned out.%0D\
If you''re going to make up a story, at least know wha the fuck you''re talking about.
If someone doesn''t have a friend to drive him/her, try calling the American Cancer Society a couple of weeks before the appointment. In my area, they have a program called "Road To Recovery", which provides free rides for patients receiving cancer treatments like radiation & chemo. They might do it for diagnostic/preventive procedures like colonoscopies too -- no harm in asking.
The prep was somewhat annoying, but the worst part was waking up in pain because the doctor was struggling to get the tube through the bend in my sigmoid colon. The nurse immediately upped the iv and I was out again.%0D\
They told me I must fart to get rid of the air they pumped into my ass. The nurse told me it''s clean air (uh, ok) and just fart away or I''ll be in pain later. She was right because I apparently didn''t fart it all out and I had what felt like nasty cramps later.
Had my first endoscopy and colonoscopy last month. Didn''t remember a thing. Woke up, and except for a little bit of scratchiness in my throat, could not tell there were tubes up my butt or down my throat.
"So you fart during AND after the procedure?" \
As R72 said, they pump some gas into you to keep your colon expanded.\
That said, remember to wear black underwear to and from the hospital.\
Be glad for the cleaning out ahead of time.... that will rid you of those embarrassing gerbil skeletons.
Just turned 50 and had my first colonoscopy a couple of months ago. I have acid reflux pretty bad so they did an upper GI endoscopy at the same time. I was nervous for weeks beforehand but, as others have said, it was a big nothing.
One tip a friend gave me: get yourself some baby wipes. During the prep, you'll be spending a lot of time on the toilet and your asshole will thank you later if you use baby wipes.
The drugs they gave me aren't the same they give you for surgery. It was more of a "conscious sedation" thing, because they had to be able to ask me to roll over, etc. during the procedure. But, I remembered nothing afterwards. I remember them rolling me into the room where they did the procedure, was hooked up to the heart monitor, saw them bringing in a couple of tubes with cameras on the end, the gastroenterologist came into the room, asked how I was doing, and flipped a switch on my IV. Next thing I can recall, I was waking up in the recovery room, feeling like I'd just had a pleasant nap.
I didn't want to make a friend wait around for a couple of hours, so I drove myself to the hospital, and had the recovery nurse call my friend when I was ready to go home. Then went back the next day and got my car.
The best part is, I don't have to do it again for 10 years!
How''d it go OP?
[quote]In the recovery room, [R52], the circulating nurses keep telling everyone to ''Let it out!''. At the hospital I went to, there were actually ventilation ducts above the beds to suck up the foul air.\
This sounds like a Pasolini film.
R75, I forgot the baby wipes and regretted it. So crucial!\
I''m puzzled by the air thing... I don''t remember being encouraged to let it out, or having to in the recovery room. I was alone in the recovery room, which was nice. \
OP, believe me, the prep will clean you out! There''s a bit there on prep day where you''ll be like "Is this thing even working?" And then you''ll have no doubt. (Don''t stray far from the bathroom, grab a magazine and strap in for the ride) It gets almost archeological with all the layers that will come out of you, followed by that strange feeling of knowing that you''re squeaky clean!
It could be worse. You could have to see BELLS ARE RINGING again.
Just don''t jizz on the agent while he''s performing the procedure. They don''t like it.
All this just to get on an airplane...
Just turned 50 and not sure I want to do this. The prep sounds awful and I don''t think I''d want sedation. Wife just had hers today and reacted badly to the medication.
Nice long-distance bump, r81.
[quote] your asshole will thank you later\
I''m getting a picture here.
[quote] I have a hairy whole. Does that make any difference? Are you supposed to shave it?\
A gentleman will go to the spa for an anal waxing and bleaching in preparation of a colonoscopy.
[quote] I can''t believe there are people who would choose to do that all day for a living.. look at someone''s asshole.\
It''s actually not as disgusting as what dentists do.
Same here....why would anyone want to be a proctologist or dentist.%0D\
Though I dated a dentist for a few years. His reasoning was that it was the fastest way to get a Dr and a good income. He also saw a creative aspect to it. He felt great when he created a beautiful smile.
OP, I''ve had three in my life and it isn''t nearly as bad as people will make it out to sound. There are a lot of different preps. I did Miralax.
In my early 50's, I had a flexible sigmoidoscopy. I went in feeling comfortable that it would not be anything. But I guess I have a extra twisty colon, so it was PURE H***. I squirmed around and could not stand it. There was no sedative prior, which I guess is standard for a flexible sig. But the doctor just pushed forward, and just sped up so fast, even there was something there, I don't know how he could see it anyway. But I guess he was going to get paid anyway just for going through the motions. He finished, and said it was clean, that he "didn't see anything." Of course, I thought, who could going that fast. I figured that doctor was going to just push ahead, because if he stopped and decided to reschedule me for another time when someone could drive him home after sedation, it would have been no revenue for that slot in his schedule. Going through the motions got him his $$, and got me out of there. Now I am 63 years old, and no way am I going for a colonoscopy, put myself through a "night of the living dead" bowel prep, and have to beg for total anesthesia, and feel like s*** for the rest of the day after the procedure. I eat properly, and take care of myself, and with family history, so it seems like just a money maker for the doctor. By the way, did I tell you I was a registered nurse??
Okay, R88 scared me.
Do they give you pain meds for afterwards? I hope so.
How long does the procedure take?
don't need any pain meds you will not remember or feel any thing after it
Where the hell are these people having these procedures...in their garages? I have had 2 colonoscopies. Neither one hurt one bit. They gave me Versed and I did not remember one thing. No anesthesia hangover. No pain or discomfort in my colon. I was starved after the procedure. you need someone to drive you home as you may be still sleepy. Bottom line....the worst part of the procedure is the day before prep and being so hungry.
I had my first colonoscopy today and I didn't feel a thing. I worried most about the dreaded prep, but that wasn't bad, either. I mixed the Miralax with Gaterade, put it in the freezer for an hour, and drank it with a straw and it didn't even taste bad. I was on liquids all day so I only had a few hours where I needed to be close to the bathroom. I was out for the actual procedure and didn't feel a thing--during or after. I was very sleepy, though, so be sure to have a driver with you.
If you are sedated, you won't remember anything. Obviously, r88 wasn't sedated.
I haven't had the flexible sigmoidoscopy, but I've had several colonoscopies under sedation. Every time I start to wake up while the doctor is pulling the snake out of me at the end of the procedure, and it is very uncomfortable.
The procedure itself takes about 20 minutes, but add in the pre- and post-op stuff and you're looking at being there for at least an hour and a half. I've found that having it done at a surgical center where endoscopies and colonoscopies are all they do is faster than having it done at a hospital.
I'm a bit concerned. After years of trying to convince my 70 year old mother to get a colonoscopy, she finally relented. She went to a doctor, medicare approved, who told her a colonoscopy could be done two ways. The invasive way as described in the posts above or a poop on the card way. She scraped a poop sample on three cards for three days, took the samples to the lab, and waited for the results which came back good. Now I'm thinking I need to start nagging her to go for the full colonoscopy procedure. On another note, I'm approaching 50. Do I opt for the card poop or colonoscopy?
Colonoscopy was a breeze, and the prep wasn't bad at all. Waking up after it was like having had a great night's sleep. What IS a bitch, is the smiley face they draw on your ass while you're spaced out.
I went to drop off and pick up my mother. They did encourage everyone to pass gas, they required it to go home. These weren't private rooms but everyone was separated by a curtain. No real privacy but it wasn't that bad and didn't seem like an embarrassing situation. The guy next to us commented after the nurse's directive, that his wife would have no problem fulfilling that request if her usual farting was any indication. I did chuckle at that. Very lighthearted atmosphere.
I've had two endoscopies with no problems, having been under anesthesia for both. Once they started administering, I was out for the procedure and then woke up after feeling very relaxed and only slightly "goofy". (After the second endoscopy, I felt okay but kept walking sideways into the wall so had to leave in a wheelchair.) My gastroenterologist has recommended a colonoscopy when I turn 50.
Oh... the stories your bowels are gonna tell!
R95 a fecal occult blood test (the "smear on a card") is NOT a colonoscopy and a very poor replacement for one. I cannot believe any competent doctor would present those as interchangeable options. Your mother (and you) needs to have an actual colonoscopy by a competent gastroenterologist. At her age, if she's clear of any polyp growth, the doctor will probably tell her it's a one-off and she doesn't need to return for another, unless indicated by troublesome symptoms. (I think the Am Cancer Soc recommends routine screening colonoscopies between ages 50 and 75, but not after that.)
[quote]They did encourage everyone to pass gas, they required it to go home.
They required you to fart or they won't let you leave? Wow!
OP = Ann Romney
I had my first one. Nothing about it was fearful or painful. Prep wasn't bad at all. I did wake up during the procedure and felt a bit uncomfortable, but no pain whatsoever. And yes, the recovery room was like a bad symphony with all of us farting. My Mom was my ride and I remember her laughing like crazy listening to all of us going at it (we were separated by curtains like a previous poster said). Also was ravenously hungry afterward. Mine was done at 7 a.m. After, ate a huge meal and took a nap. No sedation hangover. Easy.
I had it without being put into twilight sleep. It wasn't as bad as the prep.
I have to get one too, before the end of the year!
r100 The card test seems to have been replaced(at least in my case) by submitting small stool samples that you collect on 3 consecutive days. The little tubes have a tiny, ridged scoop inside that help with getting the samples. I still have an actual colonoscopy every 5 years though. Why be half-safe?
OP, how did everything come out?
The prep is absolutely vile. I couldn't keep it down so they had to give me an enema.
some docs will allow you to have a high colonic before the colonoscopy instead of drinking that vile liquid. My doc's nurse told me to drive it with vodka; would not change taste but then you would not care. If you can get a colonic irrigation and the colonoscopy appt the same day you are good to go, in a matter of speaking.
I am starting the prep in 1 hour. I had one 2 years ago and they found 13 non cancerous polyps.
Let the fun begin!
The experience differs from person to person. But chances are it will be no big deal at all.
You have to fast the entire day before the procedure. You should probably just drink liquids, although they do allow a few things like hard candy or jello. Certain colored liquids are a no-no; I don't think you're supposed to be downing anything red or orange.
Yes, the prep solution is nasty. Mine was flavored lemon-lime; it was like drinking lemon-lime flavored medicine. You're supposed to drink around 8 ounces every 15 minutes until you drink half of it. Then you should take a break, and then drink the rest of it the same way. You can't take much of that stuff at one time; drinking the prep seems to take forever. You drink it until all that comes out of your bowels is clear or slightly discolored liquid.
The procedure itself takes about 20 minutes. Most of the time is spent getting ready for it and recovering from it. You're sedated so you should feel nothing. I went to the procedure room, got sedated and woke up in the recovery area. There was other people around, but I wasn't in a room full of people farting. If any of that was going on I didn't hear it. But farting after a colonoscopy is a good sign.
The OP shouldn't be afraid at all. But people do sometimes have adverse reactions. I have a friend who said she had to tell them to stop the procedure it was so uncomfortable. I know someone at work who told me he can't drink the prep; he's tried but he can't get it down, it makes him throw up. But I would tell the OP to just DO it. Colon cancer is one of the most preventable cancers out there, but you have to have a colonoscopy to know if anything is wrong.
I've not had one yet. I worry more about the prep. than the actual procedure. Do you feel sick during the clearing out process? As in how people usually feel when they have diarrhea? Or do things empty out without much discomfort?
I've had two. Not eating for up to 24 hours is hardest part. The prep is a bit challenging, but even that is no big deal once you've shit out all the liquid like there's no tomorrow. The actual procedure is nothing--you're out cold. You wake up and feel fine.
r112, No, I do not feel sick like with diarrhea. Things are just emptying out. Not fun, but it beats cancer.
My trick for downing the god-awful prep stuff: Get some clear or light-colored juice or juice drink or soda (I used white grape juice) and alternate small sips of the disgusting stuff with a long swig on the good stuff. Worked for me, anyway. (I wish I'd known about for my first two procedures.)
Also, different physicians have different requirements. The first time, they made me drink the entire gallon of prep. The second time, I only had to drink half and then give myself an enema.
New code word excuse for cheating?
(1) go on a low bulk diet for a week beforehand.
(2) chill the prep liquid to make it go down easier.
this female friend of mine went in for a colonoscopy. Out comes a 35-year-old doctor from Italy that looked like a movie star. She demanded another doctor because this one was too good looking. "He can't do that to me - he's too good looking!" She got another doctor.
With that much, I'll bet they missed a few years ago, R110.
A colostomy bag and uncertain future seem about right as revenge for your bumping another old thread.
We'll at least pray for no perforations.
R118, the first two sentences of your post make it sound like the Italian came out of your friend's ass. That would be something.
r119, they found four more. I knew you'd want to know.
After reading this thread I asked the nurses if they could skip the anesthesia since several people said they didn't use any and felt no pain. Thank God they said that wasn't an option. I woke up several times during the procedure in pain. They must have been blowing hurricane force winds up my ass.
I have to go back in three years.
r45, if you are reading this I want you to know that I thought about your post when they rolled me into the procedure room. The nurse looked at me and said, "Well that's a first, someone came in with a smile on their face."
Thanks for your post, r45, it made the procedure a bit easier.
"They required you to fart or they won't let you leave? Wow!"
That's standard for various medical procedures: in order to be released from the hospital you have to pass wind. Sometimes the requirement is to have a bowel movement. But with a colonoscopy you just need to pass wind. It signifies that all is well, and that you're ready to go. It's not such a big freaking deal.
Farts don't smell after a colonoscopy. There is NO fecal matter in your bowels because of the prep. Farts normally stink due to fecal matter in your bowels.The farting is necessary so you don't get bad cramps. I've had several as part of research for HIV studies. No problem whatsoever. The drugs are incredible. It's no wonder why the rich and famous do the hard shit.
Like others have said, lighten up your diet a few days before. No cheese steaks and mashed potatoes and gravy. During the prep they recommend a little Vaseline for your butthole on account of all the wiping you do during. The only thing that was almost embarrassing was that about a dozen researchers and students came in to watch the procedure. The drugs kicked in and I didn't care.
I had my first one ever on Wednesday. The prep liquid was called "Golytely." It is prescription only, and came as a powder inside a white, plastic gallon jug. You add water to the pre-measured line, shake well, and then, like another poster recommended, you place it in the refrigerator for a few hours before taking (the dispensing label said it is good for 48 hours once constituted, so I mixed it up the night before). I got one of those Crystal Light flavor drop bottles ("Mio" makes them too), and added that for flavor. It improved the taste, but only marginally so.
Do not get too involved in any other activity that is far away from a bathroom after taking the stuff. For me, it was not like when I am sick and have diarrhea, as in those situations I usually have plenty of time from the first rumblings to when I need to sit my ass down. Not so with this. I would go from feeling no pressure or discomfort at all to "red alert! all gates are opening in T-minus 3, 2, 1, now!!" So, it's not a great time to try to telework, or talk to friends on the phone. :)
After your intake is done, your vitals are taken, etc, you will be given the flattering hospital gown and booties, and then placed on a stretcher. A nurse will ask you when you last drank anything, what meds you last took, etc, and then will start an IV in your arm.
Eventually you will be wheeled into the procedure room (or O.R. depending on where you have this done), where your gastroenterologist will talk to you briefly. The anesthesiologist will also explain what will be happening too. After he talked to me, I saw an opaque, white liquid start coming down the line. I asked him if this was propofol and he said that it was. I then started to make a comment about this being the anesthetic made famous by Michael Jackson, but I never finished the sentence.
It was like a digital media experience as opposed to an analog one: rather than getting drowsy--and being aware that I was getting drowsy--it was like a switch had been thrown. One second I hear my own voice and the heart monitor; the next second I hear a nurse saying "Now I'll be back to check on you in a few minutes. In the mean time, please try to pass some gas for me." There was actually about 90 minutes which elapsed between those two perceived seconds. Bizarre experience, but actually it was rather pleasant.
I needed those 20 minutes or so to fully come around (so I guess the digital/analog comparison isn't a perfect one, at least on the recovery side), but I could hear another nurse making the same announcement to another person that they needed to pass gas. The person was apparently hard of hearing or elderly, because the nurse repeated it two or three times in that loud, slow voice everyone used in 50s movies when talking to non-English speakers.
There was no pain in the whole affair, apart from the IV stick in the top of my hand (where it meets the wrist). I did have some cramping because gas was trapped, but the nurse said to turn from my left side into my right side, and that actually helped a lot.
The best part is doing absolutely nothing afterwards. I watched TCM for the remainder of the day. Oh, one word of caution: the place where I had mine done required that you have "a responsible adult" pick you up after your recovery and transport you home. There were no exceptions to this, and if for some reason your person does not arrive, they will keep you for a certain number of hours (doubtless required by their liability policy) before discharging you. Last Friday, my friend started waffling a bit, saying that he wasn't 100% sure he could get the morning off. I talked to my doctor's office, and they the phone number of a local transportation service that will do this for a fee. I paid $50 for this. Expensive, yes, but if you tell them on the day you have the procedure that you have no one to pick you up, the facility where I was charges you a penalty of $200.
Overall, it was a hassle, but it was not painful. Thankfully, I had no polyps and if things do not change can go for ten years before having anothe
I had mine yesterday. My prep had me mixing water with two powdered packs. That went fine, though I was beginning to worry it was never going to be clear enough for the test. The part I hated was that I had to do a second round of the prep at 3 am. So, I only got a few hours of sleep until I had to get up to do that. Then, I drank a bottle of Mag Citrate just to make sure I was cleaned out. No way was I not having this test after all this fun.
The only part of the procedure that hurt was where the IV needle went into my hand. I guess that was the only vein they could find after having no luck with my arm. There were two docs doing scopes that morning and the nurses were commenting on how the other doctor was speeding through all of his patients that morning. I was so glad he wasn't my doctor.
I was so glad to find out they were giving me the Propofol. Roll on your side and go to sleep. It was great. When I woke up my blood pressure was pretty low, but I had some juice and crackers and it got better.
I really thought I'd be sleepy afterwards, but not at all. I didn't really feel like doing anything either, though. Hardly any gas or bloating after either - Maybe because my doctor wasn't just buzzing through her patients.
She told me to come back and do it again in 10 years.
Thank god they don't do those awful barium enemas anymore.
[quote] A colostomy bag and uncertain future seem about right as revenge for your bumping another old thread.
LOL. 13 polyps is an ominous harbinger of very bad things to come.