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I''d rather eat light bulbs than see BELLS ARE RINGING again.

Surely the Comden and Green comedy sketches were tiresomet even in 1956. A bunch of dull songs by Jule Styne - okay, 3 decent songs in Act 2, one of which only works if Judy Holliday is doing it. Who was the genius who cast Kelli O''Hara in Holliday''s part? O''Hara sings everything as if she were eulogizing her pet gay guy at an AIDS funeral. And what is the opposite of charisma? Answer: Will Chase. So many Broadway musicals are so embarrassing, with their smug self-referentiality, their desperate striving to act as if they were hip: Marlon Brando imitations! Poor Bobby Cannavale. Their casual racism, their aggressive sexism, their prissy WASPy tight-lipped repression, their un-fun vulgarity. . . And speaking of racism: When will Bway creative types start supporting genuinely inter-racial casting, instead of hiring 3-to-5 token black kids to dance in the second row of the otherwise white chorus? The production team at Encores! should be in jail.

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