Have you ever been in an abusive relationship?

Physically, not verbally.

Yes.
No. First clues in that direction and I ended it; he stalked me for a few weeks and then gave up.\ \ Easy to see how it happens to someone less confident. This guy really turned on the charm and manipulation. And then the control and more control.\ \ Found out later he was the subject of at least one restraining order from an ex-bf.
Torta
I have. I was the perp. Way weaker, so no harm ever done, but I lashed out with my fists.
Yes. I ended it after the first episode and that was that. It was an emotional trauma. When you love someone, it doesn''t just switch off, even with the hurt and disgust you feel. But if I hadn''t left, I would have disgusted myself, and that wasn''t going to happen.%0D\ %0D\ I haven''t seen him or spoken to him since.
Yes, but in all fairness, I had already warned him that I wanted my dinner on the table by the time I got home.
What is going on OP? Spill.
concerned
r5, I shouldn''t have laughed at that but I did.
Yes, with this site.
Can a friendship be physically abusive? I have a crazy, hot tempered friend who occasionally flies off the handle and physically attacks. It''s pretty scary, actually. I''ve been friends with him for 5 years and he''s gotten physical two times. Many, many, many more times he''s been emotionally/verbally abusive. Not just to me but to all of his "loved ones". I think he processes love with causing pain for some sick reason. I wish I could just drop this person as my friend but I''m weak and he does have his good points.
Yes. Several years ago. I met a guy in Montana, while I was there on business. I was from NYC. It was instant attraction. I've never enjoyed sex more in my life. He ended up transferring to the NY office of our company, and moved in with me. He was hot as a motherfucker, very smart and engaging, but conflicted about his sexuality. The abuse started very subtly, but it started to escalate. He wasn't happy in NYC, wasn't happy living with a guy who wanted to sleep with him all the time. He started to blame me, and started to emotionally take it out on me. It would be a nasty comment here, a sudden disappoearance there, etc It got worse, but in such small degrees that it was almost unnoticeable. I ended up moving to Nashville, and haven't talked to him since. He cut off all communication, which, I suppose, is another form of abuse. I check him out online every so often, and see that he's pretty out, sexually. I'm glad to see that he has become comfortable about that. I have no interest in him sexually anymore, but I do wish we could have remained friends. I thought he was a smart, interesting guy. I hope he continues to be happy and well.
R10, it''s clear to see why you were abused...are you destined to be a doormat your entire life???
It only took 11 posts for an abuser to show up. Impressive.
r10 - Was he physically abusive?
Yes. We were together for years before the physical stuff happened. It started with subtle verbal abuse that escalated to downright cruel. \ \ The physical abuse came next. First she threw a basket of clothes down the stairs at me. The next time, she pushed me down on the floor while we were arguing. The next time, she attacked me while I was lying in bed, just started pummeling me because I was using a pillow she wanted and we had been arguing. These instances were spread out over months and I accepted her apology for them every time. I now know none of this was acceptable and will never put up with something like that again. \ \ The last time was on Christmas day when she went crazy over some stupid reason. She started trashing our place, the christmas tree, throwing things at me and hitting me. Finally, i snapped. I grabbed her by the throat and told her if she ever tried to harm me again she would regret it. It was over after that and I left as soon as i was able. I was the perfect doormat. Never again.
Yes, but the relationship was with my Boss at a job. I kept getting put down that I wasn''t good enough, smart enough, and then snide comments about my eating, weight (she was a fan of lipo) etc. Also would never take any responsibility for making an error. The worst tongue lashing I ever got was when I finally stood up to her and said "at least I own up to my mistakes"...I finally quit last year, and have had the most successful, financially rewarding year ever. I did recently find out she got into some disagreement with a neighbor that ended in having a restraining order filed against her and voluntarily relinquishing all her homes firearms. Yeah, Karma is a BITCH
Yes. The verbal abuse was subtle at first, I guess love is blind and I didn%E2%80%99t recognise the signs over the years. The physical abuse started soon after my savings ran out and I became unemployed.....I found out too little too late what my partner had done with my savings instead of paying her debt off (spending my money on her vulture parents). %0D\ %0D\ She had been caught out and like a child went into an immature rage pummelling me to the floor. We are in therapy and it is not easy. We are in a long term relationship and have created a life together, however, I have lost complete trust in her and don''t know if we will remain together but at least she is able to deal with her rage issues and learn where in her childhood it stems from. %0D\ %0D\ OP, what is it you really want to know?%0D
op, what happened? are you ok?
This thread reads like a bad Lifetime movie.
If He''s Abusing You, He Doesn''t Love You
Look again, R12.
What part of "Physically, not verbally." don''t you get, r15?
dwayne.
Yes.\ \ I really wanted this pair of Pradas and my bf said "no".
He hit me... and it felt like a kiss!
classic 1960s pop hit
Twice. Once when I was 18. He broke my nose, black eyes etc. He was such a good liar I really believed that I had caused it. If I hadn't made him so mad he wouldn't have hit me. Talk about dumb, huh? Then a friend of his told me to look in his briefcase. He had been married to a woman for 2 years. He killed her. He had their marriege certificate, her death certificate, pictures of her in her coffin, his release papers from Joliet prison. I left an hour after I saw that.%0D %0D %0D Second one I was in my late 20's. I had no idea it was coming. He beat me so bad that half of my face was that ugly purple, black color. We were sitting arround having a couple of drinks and he flew into an insane rage. Went from calm to murderous in about 2 seconds. He broke my jaw. I never spoke to him again. Tho I was terrified of being alone.%0D %0D %0D There was an allmost 3rd time. The guy knew my history and that I was very afraid of being physicaly hurt. He was being verbaly abusive and he started to push me into a corner. I punched him very hard in the forehead right between the eyes. Guess I hit him pretty hard cuz his eyes crossed. It was kinda funny later when I was calm and sure I was safe.%0D %0D %0D Life is too short to put up with any kind of abuse. You deserve to never be hit no matter what you've done or said. No one has the right to hit you.
That''s really fucked up, r24.
r24, the first guy sounds like a psychopath.
What are the clues, R2?
I couldn't write in one post all the horrific things I've dealt with. For five long years I endured abuse that no human being should ever have to put up with. The scariest thing is that you never think it will ever happen to you. You watch those Lifetime movies and wonder why the Hell do they stay. It is only from experience that I know it's not so cut and dry. In the beginning he was charming. He provided me with a sense of security that I always craved. The first sign was how possessive and obsessed he was. He'd call me 4 times a day and always wanted to be near me. At first I liked this because I thought it meant he really loved me. It was only later on that I realized this was psychopathic behavior. The violence started after the first year. We went on our one year anniversary to Mexico. He said that I was flirting with a bartender at the restaurant we went to. When we got back to our hotel he beat me up so bad that my right eye was swollen shut for a few weeks. Of course he apologized profusely and promised to get professional counseling which he never did. I stayed because I loved him and I had life with him. I was so afraid of being alone. I was so dependent on him, emotionally and financially. I don't know why I finally left. From the anniversary beating till the day I left he must have attacked me physically and verbally countless times. It's never some big incident that causes the abused to leave the abuser. It usually just a crystallizing moment. Nothing in particular. You just kind of get up and leave. ENOUGH. I had to move across the country to escape him. He always said if I ever left him he'd find me and kill me. I had to drop my whole life and start a new one. At first I was terribly sad and lonely but then I remembered all of the shit he put me through. I actually made a list of a lot of the abusive incidents. Whenever I got the urge to call him I would stare at the list and be reminded of the Hell I just escaped. Till this day I am paranoid about it. I always look over my shoulder, wondering if he's going be around the corner.
Yes. The sex is often incredible with these types. Obviously not a reason to stay involved with the abuser. But I still have sex dreams about him nearly 15 years later.
r14 scares the hell out of me.
Only self-abuse. And I love it!
Master Bates
This thread is making me horny as hell.
Tina%20Turner