http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/the-lay-scientist/2010/sep/24/1
I won''t authenticate in this space- In this repy I will say something pointlessly bitchy, and intimate that the OP has non-consencial relations with farm animals.
- This is a post.
- In this reply, I will accuse the OP of being Noodles on another Twinkie bender.
- OP has a ten inch dick yet reads to the deaf in "his/her" spare time?
- You really read to the deaf? Read? To the deaf?%0D\
%0D\
Do you also perform ballet for the blind?
- In this post, I will provoke cries of "frau" and "freeper" by implying that the claim is a variety of wish-fulfillment and that the celebrity is married/engaged/dating and has children and therefore cannot logically be gay.
- In this post I will pretend to be an outraged fan of an unrelated actor who shares the same ethnicity with aforementioned celebrity. I will claim the OP is a raci$t cum slot who said the same thing on another gossip site nobody visits.
This will bump the thread and we''ll pretend trolldar is broken
- In this post, I''ll tell you how yeasty Paris Hilton is.
- In this post, I will, like the fussy old queen in an out-of-the-way library branch I am, utter the ever so witty riposte: "oh dear."\
\
And then proceed with my trivial duties of the day while feeling supremely superior to R1.
- I am in love with the OP. This deserves to be the thread of the decade.
- I am the walrus.
- OP, you have a booger hanging out of your nose.
- In this post, the obligatory Meryl/Glenn reference will be made.
M.
- In this post I will explain to all that the OP is a consumer of elderly human waste products. It will make me feel like I have accomplished my goal of putting the OP in his place, yet oddly no one but me will actually notice this post.
Also R1 is part of the female sexual anatomy
- In this post I will proclaim that OPie doesn''t have a clue because I slept with said Celebrity and he was not like that at all.
- In this post I will pontificate about something completely unrelated. %0D\
%0D\
I will then state that I KNOW it seems unrelated and continue on my quest to show how it IS related, and you''re a cunt for not seeing my point.%0D\
%0D\
I will continue to use my $10 words, showing what an intellect I really am, and what a moron you must be. Then I will proceed to make such an outlandish grammatical error IRREGARDLESS of how stupid it will make me look.
- This post I will make all about me.
- In this thread, I''ll question whether OP could have put his $18 to better use.
- I''m charlie I apear in every thread and make a bloated point that includes several erors and acusations in my own passive agresive old man way.
charlie
- In this post I will remind you all, again, that regardless of the subject matter of the thread.\
\
my pussy stinks. \
\
it still stinks, and it will always continue to stink.
Cheryl
- In this post, I will point out my appreciation for R11 in one of three ways.%0D\
%0D\
"W&W for R11!"%0D\
%0D\
"R11 wins!"%0D\
%0D\
or%0D\
%0D\
"LOL! R11, you owe me a new keyboard!"
- I''m Ciaran and I haven''t got a clue
Ciaran
- Ice Cream has no bones.
- In this post, we point out OP''s racism.
- In this post, I call R24 out as the true racist, for simply pointing out OP''s racism.%0D\
%0D\
Future posts will likely draw sides, and be filled with deflection, projection, hearsay, circumstantial evidence, and backpedaling.
- I''m R1 coming back late to the thread and insisting that my error was entirely correct and intentional. I will follow that up by saying something derogatory about R9''s racial heritage and R14''s penis size.\
\
I may or may not add something about OP getting a blog.
R1
- In this post I will blame Obama.%0D\
%0D\
I await a future post asking if I voted for Hillary Clinton and if I was frustrated by that choice.
Actually I am a Tea Bagger
- Just pointing out R14, who is emblematic of DL''s fall from a once witty and gay Algonquin round table to a sewer of puerile insults. %0D\
%0D\
I will now imply that I may not come here any more, but will deftly avoid saying it outright because I know a torrent of taunts aimed at me will follow if I do.
- I haven''t read any of the posts in the thread, and in this space will post something that has already been pointed out multiple times.
- Everyone here is a pedophile because we all touched ourselves when we were youngsters.
- In this post, as OP, I will defend myself with many quotes and non answers.\
\
[quote]You really read to the deaf? Read? To the deaf?\
\
They may not be able to hear me, but they can FEEL me because I read with HEART and good diaphramatic breathing which is all that counts because I''m a giving person who volunteers.\
\
In this paragraph I will throw in a piece of trivia about where the star went to high school. I''ll also mention the poor child who was horribly disfigured and dismembered at that same school - somehow implying the star had something to do with it. \
\
In this paragraph I''ll mention that the disfigured, dismembered child grew up - as up as a dismembered person can reasonably be expected to grow - to give motivational speeches in a square state advocating greater FDA oversight.
- This spot reserved for the Islam troll to point out that Muslims stone the gays.
- In this post I will decry how badly this post reflects on the gay community and how the straight community''s animosity towards us is our own fault if we continue to behave in this fashion.\
\
I will then point out that this is also why we can''t have nice things.
- I will return to this thread because I believe R28 has challenged my way of life, not to mention my very existence through his posting. I will not let that happen. I will not sleep until I thoroughly slay R28 with my razor sharp retort and this will put R28 in his proper place...%0D\
%0D\
I believe that R28 consumes the waste products of various rodents who are also elderly.
Now, I am satisfied. This thread can continue
- This is the post in which I say how mean and nasty the atheists are, and how everything would be so much nicer if everyone just gave themselves over to Christ.\
\
Then five posts later I''ll be nasty, claiming they started it by being atheist.
- I''m the rational, well thought out post that everyone will rip to shreds for having a sinlge typo.
- And after R36''s pithy statement, I will declare\
\
THIS THREAD IS CLOSED
- R36 WINS!!!!!!
- In this post the always refreshing MHB will write something incredibly witty concerning fish.
- In this post I''ll make an obscure reference to something you read in high school. You''ll tab over to look it up and get distracted by an artical on semiotics and the social behavior of jumping Peruvians. One hour later you''ll close this tab and log on to Xtube.
- I reach out my hand, in friendship. I want you, I need you to be a part of my world. I need me to be your best friend - a partner - in eternity.
Saturn - bringer of old-age
- In my post, I will somehow work in the name of Helen Lawson or Brenda Dickson for no apparent reason.
- In this post, I will mention earrings and caftans because I see so many other people posting it; by doing so I will establish my DL credibility, even though I don''t understand the meme and don''t really get why it''s funny.
- In this post I will mention R5''s living arrangements and their probable location in lower levels of a relative''s house. And his fondness for crunchy cheese-flavored snacks.
- In this post, I will dredge up a tired stereotype about an ethnic group and its propensity for criminal or inhumane behavior which no other ehtnic group could possibly also be guilty of.
- r27 = PUMA
- I haven''t read any of the posts in the thread, and in this space will post something that has already been pointed out multiple times.
- I this post I point out the obvious answer to the OP''s question.\
\
Julianne Moore, seriously.
- I barely read the OP but will still contribute to this thread although ill informed. \
\
This post won''t make any sense and WILL FEATURED ALL CAPS to emphasize points I don''t really have.
- In this post I will kindly question some general assumptions made earlier without making any judgement. You will feel ashamed for disagreeing with me. \
\
Of course, in another thread I''ll talk smack about Dolly Parton.
- In this post I will randomly mention David Tennant even though he''s barely relevant to the discussion at all.
The David Tennant Troll
- In this post I''ll intimate that the celebrity possessed outstanding qualities at an early age - like a taste preference for the color mercury over the color sage.\
\
I will then compare these qualities with those of my nephew who shows clear signs of same sex preference. I will wrap up with the fact that my nephew looks just like the celebrity in question - only taller and better looking.
- In this post I will look straight down my nose and say:%0D\
%0D\
THIS is why they hate us!
Snootie McSnooterson
- I am a squirrel. I am death.
- Ceci n''est pas un r%C3%A9ponse.
Rene Magritte
- In this post, I shall disparage the birth, upbringing and social standing of all previous poster, conveniently ignoring my own status as a recent parolee and all-around loser.
fa
- In this post, I will point out that it is useless without pictures...
- In this post, I will remind previous posters that, through the magic of Trolldar, we know their true colors and wish they would die in a grease fire.
- This post is the result of scanning a Wikipedia article for 30 seconds. Now I''m going to claim to have a degree specifically related to the topic and will now claim expert status.
- In this post I defend squirrels and cite a wikipedia article that implies homo sapiens descended from squirrel people, so squirrels actually bring life.
- In this post, I shall indicate that I have laughed out loud about squirrels, bringers of life. I will then indicate, in some unrelated way, during the course of a tragedy, I am more concerned with the life of the animal that survived than the dead humans. Subsequent posters will accuse me of various things, but I will just sit back and laugh and stroke my purring pussycat.
RMB
- In this post I will jump on the bandwagon and mention "the dead squirrel from that other thread." No one will get the reference but me.
- I haven''t read any of the posts in the thread, and in this space will post something that has already been pointed out multiple times.
- In this post, I''ll ask you to start a thread for me because I didn''t pay $18. %0D\
%0D\
Something like "How do I buy underarm deodorant?" or "Do you microwave your sponges?"%0D\
%0D\
And some idiot will do it.
- This is where I encourage speculation about what is on the dead squirrel''s iPod.
- This is the post where I equate R60 with internet character Fred Figglehorn, a reference no one will get.
- I haven''t read any of the posts in the thread, and in this space will post something that has already been pointed out multiple times.
- In this post, I will upbraid a previous poster who provided a link that is NSFW without alerting Loungers that the content is sensitive. Later, when someone calls me an idiot for reading Datalounge at work, I will resort to ad hominem attacks, comparing him to female genitalia and accusing him of an incestuous relationship with his mother.
- In this post, I will decry the typical American tendency toward whatever idiocy we are highlighting in this thread.
Canadian
- In this post, I''ll complain about homophobia in American by leaving sexist/misogynistic remarks.
- I haven''t read a single post in this thread, yet this space I will post something very obvious that has already been pointed out many times.
- Hasn''t anyone lambasted the OP for not doing a search? There is clearly another thread about this!
http://www.datalounge.com/cgi-bin/iowa/ajax.html#page:showThread,9688347,1
- This is a post where a lesbo points out how misogynistic everyone on this thread is.
- I laughed ridiculously hard. I love this thread and our predictability.
- I''m the annoying "." response. Strictly used to bump a thread that should have already died out.
- In this post, I will highlight a previous poster''s spelling or grammatical error, then pointlessly comment, "Oh, dear."
- In this post I''ll praise the original poster''s celebrity for his performance as a gimpy-legged Jewish hobo in a Lars Von Trier movie. \
\
Because nobody actually sits through Lars Von Trier movies, three posters will agree with my assessment and another will cite this as proof of the Zionist plot.
- I''ll be the marijuana that this post suggests the OP smoke copious amounts of.
- In this post I remind you...\
\
You''re a whore, darlin''
Cristal Connors
- And in this post, I chastise R79 for not finding a more creative way to evoke that meme, yet I won''t provide one either.
- In this post I will rate the OP''s efforts in his creation of this EST\
\
1/10\
\
I will remind all of you that THIS. NEVER. HAPPENED!
- In this post I shall make a clever pun and correlation between the topic at hand and the bemusing bewilderment of an elderly female celebrity about the time in which she last consumed what we call maize.
Humorless Native American
- Here I will proudly present helpful insider advice/information even though I''m not such an insider.
Anomynous
- This is the post of the fanboi who desperately wants to believe that my favorite male celebrity is gay because he "pings." I will take vicious umbrage to anyone who doubts this and remind them that this IS a gay gossip board. I''ll also disparagingly use the terms "Hon" and "Dearest" in my rebuttal to my detractors because they really show my sparkling wit and imagination.
- in this post, i or one of my many impostors will point out that the title of this thread sucks. i will then predict the imminent death of this thread because of its subpar title and refuse to post in it.\
\
my post will, however contain several typos or grammatical errors which will keep the thread alive for at least a few more pages with declarations of "oh dear".
the thread title troll
- I will be the lame-ass bitchmot that makes it to Wit & Wisdom.
- In this space I will post the answer to all of OP''s problems\
\
"Volunteer! Exercise!"
- In this post I urge OP to take his meds or get some sleep, hon.
- In this thread, I''ll admit to being a non-paying member, and will interrupt the proceedings with a request that someone start a thread about cupcake shops.
- I''m Barbara Bush, and I''ll certainly find some way to tell the OP that something has worked out quite well for him, because that''s how my beautiful mind works!
Barbara Bush, America''s Best First Lady
- I''m just waiting for ayb to post so I can chime in about how "I love ayb"
- In this post I refer to the amount of moisture in that region of my sad carcass I call my "mussy."
- In this post, I will ask to be excused, because with all due respect, I have problems of my own.
Mariah
- and this post points out that DL was soooo much better years past, before anyone knew it existed
- GAVEL DOWN!
- In this post, I will say that whenever they make a movie of this thread Miss Glenn Close will be available to star because she is in a mere television series while I am a real actress who trots around the globe making movies.
M
- In this response, I prove I didn''t read any of the other replies by stating something that was already said by R1, R9, R23, R24, R90, and R95.
- In this post, I will complain that the thread is too long and ask someone else to please sum it all up for me.
- In this post, I will offer (((((((HUGS))))))) to all those upthread who need comforting. I will also wish them good fortune in the future.
- This is the thread to Garry''s Show, %0D\
%0D\
The thread to Garry''s show. %0D\
%0D\
Garry called me up and asked if I would write his thread song. %0D\
%0D\
I''m almost halfway finished, %0D\
%0D\
How do you like it so far, %0D\
%0D\
How do you like the thread to Garry''s Show. %0D\
%0D\
This is the thread to Garry''s Show, %0D\
%0D\
The opening thread to Garry''s show. %0D\
%0D\
This is the music that you hear as you watch the credits. %0D\
%0D\
We''re almost to the part where I start to whistle. %0D\
%0D\
Then we''ll watch "It''s Garry Shandling''s Show". %0D\
%0D\
This was the thread to Garry Shandling''s show!
Thread-Killer Queen
- Sigh. This is the post where I quietly and rationally point out the truth of the matter, against which there can be no real argument. Of course, this means that no one will have anything left to say.
Thread Killer
- R55 is the only truly witty and wise one among us
- This is the post where I say %0D\
%0D\
"Oh Dear"%0D\
%0D\
Even though 10 other responses have made "oh dear" comments to a grammatical error on a single responder''s post.
Mr. M Webster
- The author of this post will be accused of wiping back to front.
- This is a post with an innocuous yet somewhat relevant image of childish feline wit, offered with a hint of self-ironic understanding of its pop culture inanity, while still vulnerable to its juvenile charm.
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_A_TXn9ZwohE/SbcgF6l6WYI/AAAAAAAAARk/vH9EYqXjTr8/s400/lolcat+library.bmp
- Now is the time in the thread when we dance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bteqmF5spGk
- This is where I declare : THREAD CLOSED!!!
- In this post I''m the tired queen who inexplicably has to post "Hi Noodles!" for no apparent reason.
- I will accuse some poster of clutching the product of oyster irritation.
- I shall contrive a way to refer to Miss Helen Lawson. The mere invocation of her name leaves me giggling like a theater queen.
- This is a post of stunning insight and erudition, which will be completely nullified by the accidental use of the wrong form of its/it''s.
- This reply will consist of my insightful comment(s) about child-rearing/discipline, as it relates to the topic.
Mrs. Patsy Ramsey, formerly of Boulder, CO
- This post will be a ''bump'' so I can be further entertained. Anything to keep me distracted from the work on my desk.
- in this post r115 pisses off r114, semi-supports r68 in his or her vehement opposition to r12, gives credence to r33 although he hasn''t read that post, and lauds r29 mistakenly for r128''s post; and, in the midst of all of this, still has time to drop the names of Helen Lawson, Cheryl and Laura Bush.
- In this post, I refer to OP by a female pronoun and urgently warn of imminent bodily harm, expressing myself in African-American vernacular English.
- In this post, I will merely type "bump" in an effort to move the thread up and elicit more responses.
- In this post I shall point out to all that that there is nothing to see here and to encourage all to ''move it along Toots!"
- A what? %0D\
%0D\
A thread.%0D\
%0D\
A what? %0D\
%0D\
A thread.
Oh, a thread.
- This is the post where I will remind everyone of the latest movie about a famous race horse and then make a joke about Sarah Jessica Parker. I will think I am the first one who has ever, ever made about horse joke about SJP. I will think I am ever so clever and original.%0D\
%0D\
The next post will tell me to choke on my own vomit because SJP horse jokes haven''t been funny for ages, if ever.
- This is the post I will say ''this is what they hate us'' after a comment about fisting.
- R120, what makes it even more annoying is that SJP made fun of her horse face DECADES ago in Ed Wood.%0D\
%0D\
When a celeb is ahead of the curve on a joke about themselves, they own the joke...then it''s no longer a joke.%0D\
%0D\
Yet the idiots here bray on and on...
- In this reply I remind everyone that the OP eats old people''s excrement.
- In this post I complain angrily that OP should have checked the search function because there already is a thread on DL. In fact, several.
- In this post I'll bump a two year-old thread just to be fucking evil.
- This is an offensive post about, (insert your favorite race here). It will be posted on over and over in this thread.
Racist%20Troll
- This is the post where I point out that the OP is an Elder Gay and therefore irrelevant.
Twink
- This is the post where I demand that R55 speak American.
- In this post I will tie the subject back to my Meth adiction.
- This post will correct R128, ADDICTION you idiot.
Still%20not%20seeing%202010
- I once saw Robert Wagner trying on berets with a much younger man in a Paris department store. If that doesn't prove what happened to Natalie Wood, I don't know what does.
- In this post, I'll chastise R124 for bumping a year-old thread about a topic that has clearly been covered ad nauseam.
- This is the post where I'll claim that the celebrity's past gay experience was "gay for pay," and I'll defend that assertion by pointing to all of the "gay for pay" porn actors on the various sites I obsess over.
- This is the post where I'll say that the three-sentence reply signed with charlie's name isn't really charlie. He never writes less than 9 paragraphs.
- In this post I will I will provide further validity to OP's claim by saying that I waited on said celebrity at an oh so fancy restaurant in a part of town you could only dream of dining in.
I will then inform you of our celebrity's tipping habits and how they meet up with expected norms for people of that race/gender/sexual orientation.
This will inevitably derail the thread with yet another tipping etiquette war.
- In this thread I will once again claim that a straight actor is gay and that he regularly takes it up the butt.
- This post consists of an outrageous, inflammatory racist flame-bait statement.
- R136 this post takes great offense and demands that the webmaster delete your post.
- In this post, I will say that the jury is still out on the sexual orientation of OP's celebrity, since I once tried to fuck him, but he was unable to take me, due to my enormous size. I will sign my post...
Bea%20Arthur
- This is a Christian Conservative who is secretly monitoring DL and tries to contribute witty remarks without sounding too obviously straight.
Help%20Me%20Jesus
- In this post I decry the hatred and violent language directed toward women on datalounge.
- This is the post where I am compelled to reply something just to maintain my ubiquity on DL. I will then talk about having to go study for my biochemistry exam, even though I've been on DL for hours replying on nearly every thread. I will tell everyone I am studying medicine, even though I am still taking undergraduate courses. Then I will passively aggressively bring up my degree from William and Mary. If there are no responses to my reply, I will later create another post about life as a middle-aged student so I can garner more attention for myself and will continue monitoring it for hours, even though I should be preparing for the MCATs.
Voice%20of%20the%20Night
- In this post, I'll express astonishment that this thread is still going, exclaim that the celebrity is B-list, at best, and that isn't worth the time and effort all of you are spending on him. I'll further conjecture about the state of your lives, the lameness thereof, and how pathetic it is that all of you are spending so much time here, blissfully unaware of the irony of my post.
- In this post I will link to youtube in the wrong input box. It won't really matter because the link will have very little to do with anything discussed.
http%3A//www.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DrQChV3kU2xg
- This post I will call someone a moron based on very little.
- In this post, I will point out that someone has bumped a 2-year-old thread.
- This is the post where I aggressively state in no uncertain terms that the celebrity in question is cut or uncut depending on my personal sexual preferences.
I will defend to the death my opinion for or against foreskin with a level of obsessive anger that should render me fit only for the madhouse.
- In this post, I will agree with R145 and claim that primetime is ruining DataLounge and that the webmaster is bumping old threads to make it look like someone is posting.
- This is the post where I will add my opinion after it is no longer needed or wanted. I found this thread in a google search and I will type "anon" into the Author field because I don't understand yet that the posts here are automatically authored as Anonymous. I will become a regular poster here.
anon
- I'm the guy that invades random threads to ask how to make those gray boxes around text, because I'm too lazy or stupid to click the "help" link at the top-right of every page.
- In this post I will huffily exclaim that after waiting 2 years for the verificatia of sizemeat I demanded up-thread, OP is clearly a deluded benderfrau because this. never. happened.
bitches
- I demand from the gods the return of a life.
I offer mine in return.
- That's two "returns" - I should have proofread.
- Two "returns" - sloppy and distracting.
Try again.
- I like pie.
- In this post, I'll mourn the deterioration of datalounge, citing the superiority of a past duration.
- This is the post made by a deranged fan of the celebrity in question. I've stumbled on this thread by accident after googling his name.I'm horrified by the viscousness of the gossip. In my outraged post I defend him by pointing out what a happy and normal person he is, then mention his donations to charity, his stable marriage, accuse everyone on the DL of being jealous of the celebrity and finally I'll make a homophobic remark.
Within minutes i will be pronounced a ridiculous fangurl or a stupid hausfrau. Someone will call me a Cunt.
- How do you make those gray boxes?
- Here is the post where the anti circumcision troll loses it again.
- Here's the post accusing R121 of being SJP herself. It may even contain a wry greeting, like "why the long face SJP?"
- L-O-L :D
I. LOVE. THIS!
Vallin
- In this post I will point out that r20, r48, r75, r81 and r87 are all the the same person.
Because%20I%27m%20like%20that.
- Here is where I will remind everyone that a famous dead general of the nineteenth century is really gay, as you can see by the telltale signs of sexuality suppression in his biography by heterosexist historians. This indicates that OP may very well be right that the celebrity he is referring to is gay and that only a self-loathing homophobic gay with puritannical sex-negativity and body shame issues as well as mental illness problems with public sex and incest, as well as being a mental and moral midget in the academic sense, would assume otherwise.
- I will point out that half the posters on this thread are paid Republican trolls, with some of them being actual carbon life forms and others being a new kind of troll program that creates false "personalities" whose comments are all generated randomly by a computer funded by the Romney campaign.
- "I haeve triyed" and [qute/]failedt post a cquote in a little boxz.
- This thread was so blue that day...
- I haven't read any of the posts in the thread, and in this space will post something that has already been pointed out multiple times.
- Die in a grease fire, r243.
Your "knowledge" of the events in Syria betrays your stupidity.
This%20is%20the%20post%20that%20has%20ended%20up%20in%20the%20wrong%20thread.
- Cyber comments trail
Bright like earrings on caftans
Eldergay flowers
Basho%20
- This is the post where OP reveals himself to be not-so-secretly extremely racist.
N*****s and Mooslims and Jews, oh my!
- I'm the poster who declares that everyone on this thread is clearly a bored housefrau and orders them back to ivillage.
- This is a post finally recognizing that the time has come to ask the eternal question: "Corn? When did I have corn?"
The%20irrepressible%20Carol%20Channing
- This is a post that will make the "stop bumping threads" troll angry.
- In this post, I will declare that I wrote a devastatingly funny and clever response to something, but I can't remember what it was.
Or%20who%20I%20am.
- In this reply, I will satisfy R172's goal by bitching and wondering what idiot is bumping two year old threads, while stamping my foot self-righteously.
- In this post, I'll note this is my longest thread in Data Lounge history and I'm famous on the internet in my own mind.
Yay%20Me%21
- In this post I will ask why you are all so obsessed with Anderson Cooper, Lisa Whelchel, and Anne Hathaway. I will claim that I have no idea who any of them are since I have a life. Despite my not knowing who they are, I came into the thread and read 300 posts about them to scoff at you.
- This is a bump.
