How safe is blowing a poz guy?

Avoid it at all costs. Seriously. Your health is far more important than a sweet guy.

Sero sorting is the safest way to go. Avoid the poz.

Either put a condom on him or a dental dam on you. If your gums ever bleed when you brush your teeth, or there's a tingling anywhere on your tongue or in your mouth (which signals a cold sore), or there's a tiny cut anywhere in your mouth, then you can contract HIV.

Give him a handjob.

If you ask your doctor, he'll tell you that he should wear a condom. If you ask anonymous strangers online -- who knows what you'll get.

Why not just suck on a loaded gun?

Whenever I brush my teeth I sometimes get a little bleeding so this is why I would never do it myself. My best advice to you is to just follow your gut instinct. It's usually right. You probably already know the best answer to this question, OP. You just have to listen to what your gut is trying to tell you.

Have him wear a condom if you are concerned, however the general consensus among STD/infectious disease experts is that you have a 1 and 10000 chance of getting HIV from oral sex. There was a long term study done in Spain where researchers examined /- couples who had protected intercourse but unprotected oral. None of them turned up positive. This forum is one of the better ones as far as answering questions about HIV exposure.

I've always imagined that people trying to save face has kept the truth from coming out. Having unprotected anal sex and getting HIV sounds a lot worse then being that rare person who got it from a little bj.

Here is a long discussion among doctors and epidemiologists about this very issue. I'd read that carefully. There is no clear consensus on the matter except that the risk is very low. Not non-existent however. They all agree that, compared to unprotected anal sex, it's almost risk-free. Almost. Personally, I couldn't do it -- blow a poz dude without a condom --. But I can't drive a car without a seatbelt, ride my bike without a helmet, etc. etc...

Thanks, guys. I appreciate this. I like the guy a lot, but I think I'd go nuts wondering "what if" afterwards if I sucked him "raw". I'll stick with the old "tounguing the shaft" thing I did years and years ago.

I had a bf who was HIV and we had oral and I never sero-converted. This is over a seven year period. There was no swallowing.

It's funny because we had met just as there was a new test for HIV and I realized I might as well go out with him KNOWING his status as opposed to having sex with other guys who's status I didn't know at all. We used protection, although we rarely had any anal sex.

it's a difficult decision and my new bf is negative and it does make it easier, but a good guy is hard to find either way.

hardly a risk. but .... don't swallow

You must be a crisis queen to even entertain the idea of dating an HIV guy.

The people saying it's "hardly a risk" are being incredibly generous with YOUR life.

Medical experts aren't sure. The 1 in 10000 number is more conjecture than anything else, partly because there are so few sexually active people who only practice oral sex.

It's a risk. that should be sufficient. Your life is not worth his orgasm. And, surprise!, he can have an orgasm with a condom on.

After all these years, we have still not gotten ourselves used to always wearing condoms, which is just ridiculous. It's also the reason guys are still sero-converting.

There's no reason he can't wear a condom. NONE. If he cares about the people he has sex with, he should insist upon it.

At the very least, you should insist upon it. To say that the risk is not "great", actually means that there IS a risk. So you take precautions so there will be no risk.

And...why not a hand job? Why not explore all your options? Gay men, for all our talk about sex, are so unimaginative about sex. You can play with him without using your mouth. How about some mutual masturbation with this sweet guy?

I wipe from back to front!

RUN!

It's totally safe...regardless of what the pearl clutchers say here.

As others have said it's very low risk but not risk free. Personally I'm comfortable sucking a Poz guy without a condom but I have him come on my face rather than in my mouth. I won't blow anyone within an hour of brushing my teeth or within several hours of flossing.

How many other STDs does he have? That would be my concern. AIDs is not the only STD.

I love to suck a hot cock, but I'd suck on a cement bock before I'd go down on a cock with a condom on it. May as well suck on a dildo.

Get a fleshlight. Warm it up first.

Personally? I love sucking a cock covered with a condom. It's so safe I can really suck without worry. I'm a happy camper. I've managed to fetishize condoms.

You may be happy R23, but your partner can't feel a damn thing.

I just can't. The reservoir tip tickles my uvula and makes me gag.

You would be seriously unlucky to get HIV this way. The whole world would be poz otherwise.

If he's poz, then you don't suck his cock without a condom. Period. There's nothing up for discussion. It may not be the best way to do have sex, but that's the only to have safer sex.

Granted, the risk of HIV from oral sex is small, but there is still a risk. And you don't knw whether or not you may have a small cut in your mouth from brushing your teeth.

It's too bad...but DON'T risk it. If you break up eventually (and even if you stay together), he may still be sweet, but you could be left with HIV--and you will regret that you ever blew this sweet guy.

DON'T DO IT!

Just stay away from the culture of death entirely.

I've sucked guys off who are HIV poz without them wearing condoms, but I didn't swallow their load or let them cum on my bare skin (usually I wear a shirt anyway).

But I do make perfectly sure that whenever I have sex with a guy (no matter I know his HIV status or not) that my gums are not bleeding or I have any sores in my mouth (I seriously called off dates just because my gums felt irritated and I knew for sure that sex would occur).

If I knew I were positive I wouldn't let anyone suck my dick w/o a condom.

Sucking dick is low risk. Don't do it after your brush your teeth. If you don't have gum disease, you'll almost certainly be okay. Is there some risk? Yep. But not a lot. And swallowing doesn't make it any riskier.

What about unsafe sex between 2 poz. Seriously, what is the risk there?

Lots of hysteria here. Lots of guys don't know their status, and lots of guys don't realize they're poz. If you ever suck a dick without a condom, you're taking a very small risk. But it's exceedingly small.

Just don't let him cum in your mouth, certainly don't swallow, and don't suck him if you have bleeding gums or open sores or cuts (or if you bit your tongue or cheek in the last few days), and you'll be fine.

Yes, the risk is non-zero. But the risk of walking out your door is non-zero too.

You can live like Howard Hughes, and be paranoid about everything and drive yourself crazy, or you can live your love.

You choose.

The risk is if the sperm interacts with your blood. It's best for the poz guy to wear a condom, if you truly want to be safe than sorry.

Duh, R34. And as others have pointed out, if you DON'T HAVE A BLOODY MOUTH, then the risk is near-zero.

Can you catch the virus from seminal fluids in an open wound in your mouth? Or is it if they have a cut and you also have a cut?

Sperm to blood will do it.

Yes, R36. Don't perform oral if you have a mouth cut.

Saliva kills HIV cells, right? I think that's the main reason the risk for oral is so low.

What is poz?, i am straight and new here, thanks

R39, there's no such thing as "HIV cells".

Yes, there does seem to be something in saliva that deactivates or kills the HIV Virus, but there's no definitive proof that this makes oral sex entirely safe.

But it's relatively safe. The risk is low, as long as you have good oral hygene and don't let him cum in your mouth.

Can you get HIV from sharing a coke straw? Does the virus live in snot/mucous?

"What about unsafe sex between 2 poz. Seriously, what is the risk there?"

The risk is they'll transmit different forms of the virus to each other, some are worse than others.

The "Mary!" risk is they'll create a new unstoppable strain!

R42, the short answer is YES!

Don't go camping with poz people either because mosquitoes can transmit the virus if one bites the poz person and then you.

Uh, no, R44. That's completely untrue.

A fucking dental dam?

How did this thread make it this far without someone questioning Chicken Little about the DENTAL DAM?

[quote]Medical experts aren't sure. The 1 in 10000 number is more conjecture than anything else, partly because there are so few sexually active people who only practice oral sex.

Uh no 1 and 10000 is the consensus among most experts in the infectious diseases/STD field, and many will tell you that even that figure is too high. The two doctors who answer the questions on medhelp about HIV and other STD's have been working in the field for more then 30 years, neither one has ever encountered someone that got HIV from oral sex.

As far as cuts in the mouth, gum disease go, unless you have large gaping wounds in your mouth, your chances of getting HIV from oral sex because of a tiny cut or bleeding gum is close to zero since EVERYONE gets tiny cuts in their mouth almost daily from food, brushing, etc....

The doctor on med help put it best in order for you to have the 1 and 10000 chance you would have to blow a HIV man every single day of your life for the next 25 years.

If i run my tongue around inside my mouth i almost always find some little bump or cut or sore area.

OP, are his initials, Mason Wyler, by any chance?

depends OP.

If the guy is newly positive and has a very high viral load, somewhat possible.

If you have open sores in your mouth, somewhat possible.

In general, somewhat possible, but unlikely.

If the guy is on anti retrovirals and has undetectable viral load - a large percentage of poz guys right now - very unlikely.

What's with all the sex phobia? Guess what...we are all going to die whether from HIV or a heart attack. Stop living your life by fear.

r 49: No.

No offense, but you're a fucking idiot...and a whore. You went on one date and looking to have sex soon and risk getting a deadly disease. Plus, why is he so quick to try and have sex with a neg guy?

"Guess what...we are all going to die whether from HIV or a heart attack. Stop living your life by fear."

Hmmm, I dunno. I think I'd rather die from a heart attack, which can in most cases be prevented with exercise and a good diet than waste away for 20 or so years popping jars full of pills for the rest of my life, worrying about whether I can afford the medication or not and all the other diseases I might be susceptible to like lymphoma, pancreatic cancer etc because of my weakened immune system.

suck, then swallow.. Yummy

You're a brave man, OP. There's no way in hell I could ever knowingly date a poz guy.

[quote]Sero sorting is the safest way to go.

Bullshit.

Assume everyone is HIV-positive.

Assume that another pathogen is lying dormant and will at some point or another emerge as the new AIDS.

Sero-sorting sorting requires that all partners know their sero-status and are truthful with each other.

Yeah, that'll work.

The barebacking community will barely admit that there's the possibility of additional viruses which may rival or surpass HIV-AIDS as a lethal pathogen.

This is just like the bathhouse clients at the beginning of the AIDS crisis who refused to modify behavior because it was too restrictive and ran counter to the sexual freedom of the era.

The only way to completely avoid HIV-AIDS is abstinence but who the hell wants that? The only tried and tested method of limiting HIV infection is the consistent use of condoms.

For me, having unprotected oral sex is a risk I will take unless I have cuts or irritations on my lips or mouth. I know only one person who claims that he sero-converted after performing oral sex on a partner. And mutual friends have all agreed that he was drunk so often that it is hard to evaluate his behavior or how he applied safer sex practices

In any case, we're well on our way to the emergence of another sexually-transmitted disease. Could be next year, could be a hundred years but it will come again.

If I were a conspiracy theorist, I'd be inclined to argue that safer sex education was cut so that riskier sex practices could emerge once again the gay community, making it all the more likely that another pandemic will take hold.

But, hey, the world needs to drop about a third to a half or more of its population to survive so anything which can be done to hasten its arrival....

Tick-tock.

In other words - r57 is a barebacking pig whore.

Why do people use the word "poz"? It seems like an attempt to make having HIV sound chic.

I definitely agree with you R59. It seems like a certain element tries to cover up the extreme danger of sex with HIV partners.

It sounds like something the Catholic Church or Evangelical Christians are behind this, in their effort to kill off gays.

Do you have a reading comprehension problem, r58, or are you just a cunt?

"The barebacking community will barely admit that there's the possibility of additional viruses which may rival or surpass HIV-AIDS as a lethal pathogen." The condom-as-fix-all crowd won't admit it either -- the next "lethal pathogen" could very easily be transmitted more like herpes or HPV, which condoms are much less effective against.

The Catholic Church is not trying to kill off gays. Please people.

[quote] But I went on a date with a guy who is poz but awfully sweet.

This should be a discussion to have when you have a relationship, not just A DATE. Until you're in a committed relationship none of this is worth the risk. He should understand and if he doesn't he's not "awfully sweet"

Something I don't understand if something in the saliva supposedly deactivates or kills the virus why haven't scientists been able to develop an antidote? or vaccine?

"The Catholic Church is not trying to kill off gays. Please people."

That's for sure. There'd be nobody left in the pulpit. We just want you to keep your homosexuality very, very quiet and discreet.

Strange as it may seem, R65, after all this time researchers still don't know why or how the saliva inhibits the virus. (Though they know it doesn't actually "kill" it.)

R67

Is a spit fuck safe then?

Umm, no, R68.

[quote]The condom-as-fix-all crowd won't admit it either -- the next "lethal pathogen" could very easily be transmitted more like herpes or HPV, which condoms are much less effective against.

Focus on what condoms can fix today.

Lethal pathogens can be transmitted via a number of vectors.

We're discussing the transmission of HIV through blood or semen. Condoms greatly reduce the risk of passing the virus from one individual to another during penetrative sex.

There may well be a future lethal disease spread in the same way that herpes and HPV are transmitted. That's not what's at issue here, and you know it.

Assume everyone is HIV-positive outside of a monogamous relationship.

Use condoms.

The rest is just bullshit.

R59 nailed it (while wearing a condom I hope).

Just as ludicrous is the term "bareback community", as if they have a newsletter, annual dues and a board of directors.

Blowing a poz guy is so safe that when your T-Cells plummet down to the single digits, you'll barely have the strength to die with an ounce of dignity.

I've dated a poz guy for 6 years and am still negative. He has very little of the virus and I don't blow him if I have any open sores or bleeding gums.

The Culture of Death is not to be toyed with. Always wear a condom when dealing with one of its denizens.

You're not safe doing anything with an HIV-Positive person - even Kissing. It's not safe and you shouldn't be toying with his culture of death to get off for one night. He doesn't care - he's dead anyway. Walk away and find someone among the living.

OP must be a king of retards to come to DL and seek medical advice.

the responses have been typical. They range from 'we're all going to die anyway' to 'don't walk out of the house. ever.'%0D %0D I always think of that scene from QAF in which Debbie chastises the guys for not dating anyone who's positive. Then, her son, Michael, says, 'Good, Mom. Ben is positive.'%0D %0D The look on her face was freakin' priceless.%0D %0D I haven't been fucked without a condom since college before AIDS became widespread and I haven't been fucked with a condom in years.%0D %0D I've only had a few oral experiences in the last 10 years and nothing that came to climax (at least not where I've been the sucker.)%0D %0D Boring, yeah, I know. Depressing, sure.%0D %0D But it only takes on bad experience, one liar, one guy who doesn't know he's positive and one cut, one time of flossing too much.%0D %0D %0D %0D

Treat all positive guys like they are females. Problem solved.

Hey, Mr. "1 and 10000"?

10000 + 1 = 10001.

You're an idiot.

Can someone talk to R39 for me?

The odds are one in a 1000. Say you end up being in a relationship with him. Maybe you average 5 blow jobs a week. Odds are you'll only get HIV once in 4 years.

yet another stupid queen looking for MEDICAL advise from a den of bitchy vipers.

yea for you guys it's most likely safe as LONG as the guy who is pos is on meds. I'm a pos guy as well and IM on my meds. so if your UNDTECTABLE then your most likely won't give the person who is neg HIV.

Skip him entirely..Any physical sexual contact with an HIV positive person could not be wise..Surely would NOT turn me on.

It's gross.

Stay away from the POZ, that is the only way to be sure you wont' get their bug.

Two thoughts:

If he is on HIV meds and is undetectable, it is even more unlikely that oral sex is threatening to you.

Why don't you go on PreP?

You people are damn idiots. Tons of guys do not know they are positive.

Treat every fuckin hook-up like the dude is positive.

87 if they don't know how do you know?

Oral sex is not safe sex. Your chances of getting infected are on the low side but there is still a chance. And every time you do, the probabilities add up.

Rather fuck with condoms if you must have sex with him.

SHRIEE EEEEE EEEEEE EEEEEEE EEEEEEEEK

duh really you have to ask

And as usual, R90, people respond to a 5 year-old thread like it was started yesterday.

well, r92 in r90 's defense, the ignorance and dipshit negativity haven't changed much in the almost five years since this thread was started.

Have him go on prep

Auntie Barbara? It's Jackie... Jack-kie! I'm fine... fine... I'm fine... I have some bad news... OP is not with us anymore... I SAID OP HAS PASSED AWAY... OP IS GONE... OP'S DEAD... HE'S DEAD, NO *DEAD*... He's fine, he sends his love...

go for it man, I wish some poz guys e-mail me soon

While there are a huge number of risk factors with regard to the safety of any sexual act, in the end, what it will come down to is a combination of your (oral) health and the (detectability of) viral load.

If the person receiving oral sex has HIV, their blood, semen, pre-seminal fluid, or vaginal fluid may contain the virus. If the person performing oral sex has HIV, blood from their mouth may enter the body of the person receiving oral sex through the lining of the urethra (the opening at the tip of the penis), vagina, cervix, or anus, or through cuts and sores.

You can reduce your risk, but nothing is guaranteed to eliminate risk. Condoms and Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis (PrEP) - When taken consistently, PrEP has been shown to reduce the risk of HIV infection in people who are at high risk by up to 92%. PrEP is much less effective if it is not taken consistently.

Condoms break. Testing negative doesn't mean your potential partner has not been exposed due to the time lag.

Frankly, it's probably safer to have oral sex with an HIV positive person who is on medication and has an undetectable viral load than someone who CLAIMS to be negative (but who may or may not be) - from a purely statistical point of view - given the high incidence of untested people who don't know their status.

Make an informed decision based on the specifics of your situation, rather than following generalized guidelines.

....

Fuck you, R95. I'm still here and I'm still alive. I am poz now though :(

Very low risk, almost non-existent. You would probably be more likely to win the actual lottery. I think there's only been like 2 or 3 documented cases of oral transmission EVER. Most of the people on this thread are abject idiots.

Can I get HIV from Oral Sex? Yes, but most types of oral sex carry little to no risk of HIV.

Oral sex involves giving or receiving oral stimulation to the penis (fellatio), the vagina (cunnilingus), or the anus (anilingus or rimming). Most types of oral sex carry little to no risk of HIV. The highest oral sex risk is performing oral sex (fellatio) with ejaculation in your mouth. However, the risk is still low, and much lower than anal or vaginal sex. Factors that may increase the risk of transmitting HIV through oral sex are oral ulcers, bleeding gums, genital sores, and the presence of other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) (which may or may not be visible).

The risk is lower if the partners are using condoms or dental dams, if the partner with HIV is taking antiretroviral therapy (ART) consistently and correctly, and if the partner who is HIV-negative is taking pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP) consistently and correctly. Condoms and HIV medicines can greatly lower the risk of transmitting HIV.

For more information, see Oral Sex and HIV Risk.

Really, R99?

Michael Douglas said cunnilingus is how he got oral cancer. Stick to the rule op, no glove no love.

Yes, really, R99. But don't feel bad, 5 years was a good run. I guess it was inevitable :(

Oh phuleeese, so many idiot prudes. I've crawled around many a steam room floor and blown gawd-knows who and have never gotten an std, let alone HIV. Just be careful OP, don't floss or brush immediately before the deed, use common sense. Don't exchange fluids!

Why are so many people being urged to go on prep. Mostly from the dating sight like scruff. Will that make aids a thing of the past?

It's fine Mr. Millennial! Just go for it!

Scruff is telling people to go on PrEP, R105?? I wish I had gone on PrEP. I wish I had a Scruff telling me to go on PrEP.

Be smart young people.

Are you fucking retarded or just that desperate?! How about finding a sweet guy who isn't poz and didn't fuck his way bareback across the city. Jesus; this was the dumbest fucking question. If you value yourself, if you value your health, if you value your life, don't do it. If, however, you're such an ugly troll that this is all you can get, then by all means. Survival of the fittest!

I don't let poz men cum in my ass but I let them cum in my mouth

So what happened? Personally, I would not feel comfortable giving oral sex to anyone that is HIV+, but my gums sometimes bleed when I brush or floss, and I only give oral to a partner after we have been tested for HIV and other STDs, talk about our sexual history, etc.

OP the fact of the matter is, ask him if he is on treatment and how long undetectable. A couple years undetectable? you aint getting hiv from him no matter what you do.

R105, prep is not a magic pill, there have been men, supposedly a few we know of, who became poz while on prep or Truvada. There's still a risk and infection did happen to them on prep/Truvada, who were on it who did wind up getting HIV. Also there are other STDs you can get like herpes, hpv, drug resistant strains of hepatitis, hep c, etc.

I avoid having sex with men on prep, as they ALL want it bare/raw (unprotected anal sex), and if someone is into or wants to bareback or uses drugs I don't have sex with them.

R112 just because someone is supposedly undetectable, or has a very low viral load you can still get infected if you have cuts or sores in your mouth, swallow or take cum in your mouth, etc.

its never happened R114. several long term studies of sero-discordant relationships with 1 undetectable and other HIV- no transmission. ZERO.

OP - don't get your health care advice from a bunch of hateful old unfucked prisspots. Go to a gay center or HIV testing site etc etc and get it from a doctor or educator. Decide between yourself and that person what you are comfortable with. there are hundreds of thousands of sero-discordant couples in the world who decide one thing. This DL location would mostly deny that. You can make up your own mind based on professional people and their science based advice. AVOID DL like the HIV PLAGUE if you want to think about HIV. Filled with hatred.

if you want to take cocktail drugs for rest of your life, then go ahead. is he rich? make him sign legally binding document that he would pay you x amount if you get it from him.

If you are with a partner/husband that is HIV+ and you see the results of tests that prove he is undetectable that's one thing, but expecting random strangers to know if they really are undetectable and do not have any viral load? You would really risk your life and health based on studies? R115 People will do and say anything, and lie to get sex.

Most people who claim they are HIV+ but undetecable have no idea if they really are, and if they hook up and do it raw they risk getting other strains of HIV, having their meds stop working correctly and their viral load level rising, getting other STIs, and risk infecting people who are HIV neg yet believe that they can do it raw and will be fine.

R116 it's not hatred or being "sex negative". I have friends who are HIV+, or who are HIV neg who have had sex with people who are HIV+. That's their choice.

For the majority of us though, especially those of us who grew up during the 80s and early 90s and lost friends to HIV/AIDS, it's not worth risking your life or health, and most sane people do not want to become HIV+ or risk getting it.

The sister of a guy who died of AIDS advice is this: if u are involved with a person and love them, stand by them, if they contract AIDS...if u feel something strongly for them, go for it..but otherwise don't go getting into it, it's a tough road, both emotionally and physically, so don't be a hero, unless you're willing to keep it up. Her advice.

Just say No OP. If you are so enamoured, give him a massage and a happy ending, or "M&M"!

M&M?

R122 Massage & Masturbation (M&M) is a term used by my straight mates. Usually for the parlour type of places, rather than a salon or spa. AKA Rub & Tug. Hope I made you chuckle!

If he’s on meds and is undetectable, he can’t transmit the virus. Even the homophobic, sex-negative CDC says so now. It’s not 1992 anymore.

The people you need to worry about are those who are infected and don’t know it, and therefore are not receiving treatment.

I would feel more safe having sex with a guy who has been undetectable for years as I would with some guy who claimed to be negative but was sexually active......there is over a decade of research on sero-discordant couples where the + partner was undetectable and no transmissions. Newly infected guys (who don't know they are +) often have high viral loads and are more likely to transmit HIV. As a person who survived the 80's/90's/00's and today without becoming +.......and I am a top so that makes it a little less risky.

Gurls. Please. I have sucked DOZENS of seropo dicks, and I am fine. I never swallowed though. ( that I know of). Obviously, if you bleed from the mouth or he bleeds from the dick, don't. Besides I think poppers is the most efficent Aids transmitter of all. Think about it. It's so STUPID. But sucking a dick with a condom ? Puh-lease. That's LUDICROUS. Don't date the guy if that's your option. I only did that once, it was disgusting. Thankfully, the guy ( hottest guy I've ever seen in a sauna) fucked my ass pretty quickly.

The suckee should be honest about his status before the sucking starts. Of course, some don't know their status, but it helps lowers the risk. I haven't heard or read too many cases of people contracting HIV through oral sex. The only one I remember and I think she was lying was Kimberly Burgalis.

And Alyssa milano's little brother. BS that one.

OP, considering you posted 7.5 years ago, please come back and update us! When did you seroconvert?

Stay far away from it, OP.

I wish I had listened to you guys back then.

R99 is not OP.

I hope the OP is not HIV+ I have met bisexual and gay men who became HIV+ but they told me how they had sucked a lot of cock and were into swallowing, or that they had a cut or sore in their mouth and gave someone that is HIV+ oral sex thinking it was safe and they were infected thisway.

And they were lying, R133.

They were too ashamed to say they got fucked raw. Probably a lot.

USE CONDOMS. Remember that UNDECTECTABLE poz guys do not transmit the virus U = U (www.hiv.va.gov/patient/faqs/U-equals-U.asp). These guys are regularly tested, so they are safe. USE CONDOMS. Many people who don't know they are infected as they have never taken any tests are the most dangerous group.

I thought we had put this question to bed 25 years ago. If he has a clean cock and you have a clean mouth - no problem.

I'm HIV- and was in a relationship with someone who was HIV+. It didn't last. The lesson I learned is that someone can be HIV+ and have an undetectable viral load and still be an asshole.

"It's totally safe...regardless of what the pearl clutchers say here."

Are you trying to be funny? You're not. You're just a stupid asshole.

I suspect the OP is just a troll, anyway, trying to get rise out of people by saying hey, I wanna suck a POZ guy, is it ok? Any fool knows that it's NOT ok. Yeah, the OP is probably a stupid troll.

It's safe. Don't worry. I blew guys like nobody's business in the 80s and 90s and didn't sero convert. The surefire way is unprotected anal. Knew two gay brothers, both of whom liked to get fucked. one of them suffered a nasty rectal tear requiring surgery and never did anal again-he just did oral. his brother continued to get fucked and died of AIDS. John never sero converted. If your friend in on meds and undetectable, you're definitely ok. Should you get a mouth ulcer or cut, avoid oral until it's healed.

"It's safe. Don't worry."

No, it's not. You need to shut the fuck up because you're an idiot.

R139 - where have you been the last 35 years? Living under a rock covered in condom?

R139 You shut the fuck up and blow me unless you have anything constructive to say.

OP, go for it. There is a new antibiotic- resistant gonorrhea out there that you might like. Some Brit contracted it from oral sex in Thailand. So it'll be paying a visit to the US soon, and you can be a pioneer in getting and spreading!

Well OP, considering the literally thousands I partook of over a 40+ year as a career cock sucker (to completion I might add - otherwise what's the use), and I'm still negative, I'd say the chances of you getting HIV that way are pretty slim. Besides i believe stomach acid kills the virus on contact and saliva has some affect on it as well.

The extremely low rate - perishingly low rate - of people acquiring HIV from oral sex makes in very unlikely that someone under treatment would be a real risk to someone having oral sex with him. Suggestions that you don't roughly floss or do anything with a sore mouth are just good advice with sex regardless of the circumstances. Who wants to kiss a bloody mouth?

BUT other STDs are a concern. The hate speech of R142 and others here, which seems to spew from both DL "truth tellers" and plain old homophobic trolls is not helpful. And if by some chance you're a troll, OP, by all means fall hard on a dirty needle.

My best friend was 25 and claims he caught HIV through oral sex in 2007. He's still alive but had a very rough two years right after he got the diagnosis. Takes a lot of medication. Had to completely remake his whole life. He comes from a middle-class, comfortable family where he never lacked anything, had opportunity for education, etc. Good-looking guy (albeit short), very enthusiastic, fun to be around, not stupid.

After he got his diagnosis he rang every single partner he had (he got around) to tell them. Then he went on a prevention tour to warn all the young people who always think it's never going to happen to them.

Get on PreP, OP.

Many of the posters here haven't had sex with the lights on in years. Better to have a frank discussion with someone at a LGBT health group or center.

R145, he's short? Who needs him.

I need him in me deeply.

"You shut the fuck up and blow me unless you have anything constructive to say."

I don't blow POZ guys.

It's extraordinarily rare to get HIV from oral. If the guy knows he's poz, he's very likely on medicines and undetectable.

Heck, he could fuck you bareback and you wouldnt get HIV

Lucky that HIV is the only STD out there!

R135 just because someone is POZ and undetectable, that does not mean they are HIV neg or cannot transmit HIV or infect someone, or be infected with new strains of HIV.

Most poz guys are idiots that bareback, and have other common STDs. Knowing this I would not feel comfortable having any sex except mutual masturbation with a poz guy.

R146 prep is not some magic pill you shill from Gilead. It is extremely toxic, and really bad for your liver, heart, and other vital organs.

Fools like R150 are the reason why people keep getting infected with HIV, and other STDs. Bareback sex is not worth it.

R138 I really hope they never fucked each other.

Here's what the CDC has to say.

OP, and others wondering, don't trust random people online who have sucked and fucked or been fucked bare by men who are HIV+. These people are probably already HIV+, or have other STDs, or will soon.

I wish that giving oral sex was completely safe and that HIV could not be transmitted this way, but low risk does not equal completely safe, and even if the poz person is on meds they can still infect someone.

R134 that's not necessarily true I have met men who told me they became POZ and they know it was from sucking cock since they are not into anal sex, but they all said how they were into sucking and swallowing and at the time assumed that it was safe to do this, when it's not.

You'd think a message board made up almost entirely of gay men would have reached a reasonable consensus about what the medical community has taught us about HIV over the last decade. Instead, this thread is filled to the brim with misinformation, long-debunked theories meant to demonize gay people and gay sex, and pervasive slut-shaming and anti-sex rhetoric.

I feel like I could block a third of the posters in this thread for their ignorance and hate.

Best avoided. And we need to stop feeling guilty because otherpeople feel rejected

Everyone was a comdom advocate until russian troll farms came around.

condom

HIV-infected people are living for years, but age-related diseases set in early

“Most people assume that the medicines have worked and that everything has gone back to normal, and that’s not really true,” says Hardy, who directs research for Whitman-Walker Health in Washington and who still sees patients weekly. “While we have suppressed HIV very well, we’ve now discovered that the medicines only treat part of the problem.”

Many HIV-infected people, now in their 50s and 60s, who have lived for years with HIV under control, are developing aging-related conditions — heart, liver and kidney disease, certain cancers and frailty, for example — at a rate significantly higher than uninfected people of the same age. “These are things that people develop all the time as they get old, but they are occurring at an earlier age in HIV-positive people,” Hardy says.

everal studies have shown the heightened risk of cardiovascular disease among those with HIV. They have a 50 percent higher risk of heart attack compared with noninfected controls, and a more than fourfold higher rate of sudden cardiac death compared with the general population. They also are in greater danger from complications associated with heart failures.

Certain cancers are increasing among them as well. Early in the epidemic, some cancers — Kaposi’s sarcoma, non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma and invasive cervical cancer, for example — often developed in HIV-infected individuals, signaling the onset of full-scale AIDS. These “AIDS-defining” cancers initially decreased with the introduction of anti-HIV drugs and have remained relatively steady during the past two decades. However, the burden of non-AIDS-defining cancers — anal cancer, lung cancer, Hodgkin’s lymphoma, liver cancer and head and neck cancers, among others — has grown during that period. Many of these are caused by viruses other than HIV.

When people say low risk”, what do they mean? Low risk like getting struck by lightning? Low risk like dying in a car crash? Low risk like getting food poisoning?

"I feel like I could block a third of the posters in this thread for their ignorance and hate."

I gather you think it's "safe" to suck off a POZ guy without a condom. Some would argue that it's you and your ilk who should be blocked.

People have different definitions of "safe." Unfortunately, many chose to disregard the reality of other STDs that are increasingly antibiotic-resistant and that are very effective at,being transmitted by unprotected oral sex. In London there is a recent case of a man who picked up a strain of highly resistant gonorrhea in his throat in Thailand. Doctors have almost exhausted the usual arsenal of standard drugs to treat that.

R163 read R165's and R162's posts. Giving oral sex is not as safe as mutual masturbation is, or getting oral sex is assuming you don't have cuts or sores on your cock. There are also a lot of other nasty STDs and given how the majority of HIV+ men bareback and have the mentality that they are invincible or that it's perfectly fine and healthy, you would do well to just not have sex with someone who is HIV+

Totally unsafe!

OP, if you are reading this what did you do? For myself since while I love to give women and men oral sex I am very picky who I give it to as I don't want to get any STDs and I hate the taste of latex.

I love it when people say “ilk”

It’s about 1 and 10000 chance and that’s only because doctors never want to say zero. Everyone has cuts in their mouth from food, brushing, hot coffee etc... a guy would have to jizz on a gaping life threatening wound in your mouth for you to have a chance of getting hiv or you would have to swallow the hiv+ load every day for the next 20 or more years to get the 1 and 10000 chance.

Thanks, Doc.

Get more self esteem so that you can a) be the blowee and not merely the blower all the time and b) so you dont have to feel pike you have to fuck these kinds of men

R170 if you have any open cut, broken skin, or sore in your mouth, you will get HIV if a poz guy's cum or precum gets in it, and people have been infected by swallowing cum.

It's not safe.

Use a poll. 1 is safe, 10 unsafe. Jesus.

It's more like a 3-4 especially if you swallow or take cum in your mouth R175, if you have cuts or sores in your mouth and they are open then it's a 9-10.

That's just bullshit R173. We know no healthcare agency or professional will call oral sex 100% safe for one simple reason - it is biologically possible. It is impossible to determine if someone became HIV+ due to oral sex as unprotected anal sex is impossible to rule out.

It is difficult enough to convince many men to wear a condom if you are also preaching oral sex is unsafe. Let's be realistic here no one has told a convincing story that details them getting HIV through oral sex. There are far to many healthy men walking around who have been sucking cock for decades. So why make people mistrust your advice on condoms by insisting oral sex isn't safe.

The statistic we have on oral sex itself make the claim it is unsafe next to impossible to believer. Something like 85%of people between the ages of 18 and 44 report having had oral sex. Where's the oral sex HIV epidemic?

The OP of this thread posted in 2010.

The CDC has confirmed last year that you cannot get HIV from someone undetectable through any sex act. Most poz guys are undetectable these days, though you might not know everyone's personal details if this is anon sex.

Oral has always been a tiny chance, if any at all - and only with copius amounts of cum sitting in your mouth on top of infected gums. With someone undetectable, there is absolutely no chance.

This thread is eight years old. However, the same advice applies. DO NOT suck the dick of a poz guy without him wearing a latex condom. Do not fuck without a condom. And even then...what are you doing even contemplating these sexual acts? Just don't do it. It's not worth your health no matter how undetectable his HIV count is.

Why in hell are people so expert at ignoring the fact that unprotected oral sex is a terrific way to contract all kinds of OTHER STDs, including very intractable gonorrhea?

Miss R179 locked herself in a closet in 1985 and got it wired for internet!

R57, that was a good comment. Still with us?

R181 conveniently avoids commenting on R180 and similar observations.

R180 people have posted about other StDs and how oral sex is an easy way to get them, and how most men who are HIV+ bareback and think they are invincible.

Also while now the majority of HIV+ men claim they are undetectable, unless you see the blood work lab results and they are extremely recent you have no idea if they are really telling the truth or not, and just say this so they'll find someone to have unprotected sex with.

[quote]prep is not a magic pill, there have been men, supposedly a few we know of, who became poz while on prep or Truvada.

The medical establishment is currently tracking:

2 cases of seroconversion on PrEP with verified adherence

3 cases of seroconversion on PrEP without verified adherence

3 cases of seroconversion on PrEP still under investigation

R184 yes and those are the ones that are known of and tracked by the CDC or other health organizations.

A lot of men order PREP online and just take it themselves and still bareback. This is very popular in the UK as well.

Apples and oranges. HIV- people are on PrEP. Who KNOWS what kind of guy they are taking raw loads from.

A poz guy who is undectable cannot transmit the virus. This has ZERO do with the HIV- partner. If he is on prep or not.

An HIV- person can suck a poz guy and certainly a poz guy who has been undetectable awhile. This, also, is proven in longitudinal studies on gays and straights.

But its easier and fine to just say know to HIV+ partners, if you are a worrier. Just don't base that on science.

*say NO

Agreed R187, if you are HIV neg and neg for other STDs it's best to avoid having sex with anyone that's HIV+ as they are all delusional and think that they can bareback and will be fine and not get other strains of HIV, won't get infected again with the strain of HIV they have, or will not get other STDs or nasty bacterial infections, but they are in for a nasty surprise.

Don't do it!

No this is not safe.

That the question does not include a reference to condom use is really depressing.

If you do this use a condom like r191 said, or get sucked. But I would be very hesitant to have someone HIV+ or on Prep/Truvada suck me off since they all have unprotected sex with strangers, and there are lots of other STDs you can easily get.

What R192 said.

A lot safer than the folks here are telling you, OP. My doctor is gay, treats HIV patients, and says the risk is extremely small. You’d need a mouth ful of open, bleeding sores and other “perfect conditions” for the virus to even survive the transmission. If you’re on PrEP and he’s undetectable, it’s virtually impossible. If you’re not, and he’s completely untreated, it is still highly unlikely under typical conditions. Very few cases have ever even been close to proven to be orally transmitted, and none of them conclusively, and every one of them involved extreme circumstances like open sores, a very high virus count, with other concurrent forms of transmission likely.

But don’t believe me. Ask a doctor who is gay and specializes in this kind of medicine. I stress this and not just any doctor. Every doctor is not an expert on every topic. Like everyone else, they have biases and blindspots. Find a gay doctor with an HIV specialty for the best information.

Many Dataloungers are extremely sex-phobic. Many are also decades from being anywhere near the gay dating or sex scene. Many are also shockingly ignorant and bigoted about, hmmm, let’s say “special interest groups” like HIV positive people. And many have just been burnt by their own bad experiences, and can’t see anything objectively. Take all advice here, as with the rest of the internet, with a healthy dose of skepticism.

R194, it's not being "sex phobic" to not want to get infected with HIV, and a lot of men who are HIV+ are into sero-sorting and only have sex with other HIV+ men.

I have been with men who are HIV+ but all we did were safer sex acts like mutual j/o and kissing, or S/M or B&D. I did not give them oral sex since I sometimes will get bleeding gums when I floss or brush, and it was not something I was comfortable doing. I am not on PREP as I'm not even that into anal sex and have only done that with a long term partner as a top and we always used condoms.

I have talked to gay doctors who treat HIV patients and they said how even though oral sex is "low risk" it's not completely safer sex or risk free, and that you should give oral sex with the HIV+ guy wearing a condom (this is not my thing but some men apparently love it but they have a fetish for latex?), and not to swallow or take cum from an HIV+ guy in your mouth. Also there have been cases of men on PREP or who were with a man who claimed he was undetectable who wound up HIV+ but this probably happened from unprotected passive/bottom anal sex.

Unless you are HIV+, it is best to not have sex with a poz person.

I literally know at least 5 eldergays that spent their youth living on cum drinks. Not a single one is poz

What’s the point of sex if you have to use a condom to get sucked

If you must OP, do NOT brush your teeth before, certainly skip the floss, and avoid crusty bread and crisps/crispy snacks. Try not to let him finish in your mouth, no matter how tempting. I would probably take the PrEP if I were you too. Be safe and be well OP! Happy blowings on!

Safe only if it is over 9 inches!

You sound like fun,Mary r199

R197, those old queens obviously did most of their sucking long before HIV was around, and probably have lots of other STIs like herpes, or HPV.

There are people who became HIV+ from giving oral sex. It's not as risky as raw bottom, or raw top anal sex, but it can happen.

You queens are ridiculous.

I have been poz for 30 years and , more than 12 my life and have worked outreach most of that time. Some of your beliefs are archaic as well as based in fear versus facts.

PS I have never been sick , do not have poz face of Crix belly or hump, none of which occur any longer BTW.

R202, no, they did most of their oral during the height of the AIDS epidemic. Many of their friends died. They all say they didn’t get it because they strictly did oral.

I don’t know if they got other STDs but that goes with any sex. Condoms are not the answer because everyone hates them

R201 I am a lot of fun, at least I didn't say don't do it... Two of my ex's are positive, one whom I still had sex with after having the knowledge. I'm glad I'm still alive and negative... AND able to go on having more fun, albeit safely. I only swallow for men who I know enough about to be or at least feel safe. We all have to make our own choices when it comes to these risks.

If you want to stay HIV neg and without any other diseases, do not have sex with anyone that's POZ, on PREP, or who gets fucked raw or sucks off strangers.

The End of Safe Gay Sex?

After tracking the sexual practices of 17,000 gay and bisexual Australian men from 2014 to 2017, a team of researchers this month unveiled the most convincing evidence to date. While the number of H.I.V.-negative men who are on PrEP increased to 24 percent from 2 percent, the rate of condom use decreased to 31 percent from 46 percent. More troubling, condom use among non-gay men is also down significantly.

Although public health advocates have been sounding the alarm on condom use for the last decade, their calls have gone largely unheeded. Part of that is because of a shift in how we talk about risky sex: The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has replaced “unprotected” with “condomless” sex.

The dangerous implication is that PrEP alone may ward off all sexually transmitted infections. Indeed, studies have shown a strong correlation between PrEP use and the contraction of S.T.I.s. PrEP enthusiasts counter that PrEP mandates testing for S.T.I.s every three months, a practice that promotes rather than discourages a culture of sexual health.

But a 2016 study by the University of California, Los Angeles illustrated that PrEP users were 25.3 times more likely to acquire gonorrhea and a shocking 44.6 times more likely to develop a syphilis infection (other studies have found no significant uptick in S.T.I. rates, however).

AIDS is no longer a crisis, at least in the United States, and that is a phenomenal public-health success story. But it also means that an entire generation of gay men has no memory or interest in the devastation it wrought. AIDS catalyzed a culture of sexual health that has begun to disintegrate before our eyes. What is there to be done to bring it back?

One answer is to recall the gay culture of the 1970s that gave rise to the AIDS crisis in the first place. The myth of a world of sex without harm is not new. The 1970s were a time of unprecedented sexual freedom for gay men, during which diseases were traded rampantly, fueled by a libertine culture that saw penicillin as the panacea for all ills.

The nonchalant dismissal of the condom today flies in the face of the very culture of sexual health that gay men and lesbians constructed in the 1980s. If a hyper-resistant strand of another life-threatening S.T.I. develops, we will rue the day that we forgot the searing legacies of our past. We might also recognize that PrEP has not proved nearly as effective a prevention strategy for women as it has for men, and that some strains of H.I.V. have developed resistance to the drug.

Australian Man Opens Up About Contracting HIV on PrEP

The man said the way his case had been publicly discussed at the time had been hurtful, including media suggesting that his contracting HIV could only have been due to a drug-resistant strain or—more likely—not taking the pills.

“They didn’t know who I was, they didn’t know any facts, and actually both of those were incorrect,” he said.

“The reality is, to this day, I don’t know what happened.

“I know that I was adhering to my medication.”

PReP/Truvada is not some magic pill. It may prevent HIV infection/transmission most of the time but it does not protect against all the other STDs you can get.

Researchers from the Dutch pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP) demonstration study, AmPrEP, have found an unexpectedly high rate of hepatitis C virus (HCV) infection in participants tested for it at baseline.

The HCV prevalence seen was more typical of that seen in HIV-positive gay men rather than the much lower rates seen in HIV-negative men.

Presenter Maria Prins said that phylogenetic mapping suggested that the explanation might lie in study participants being more likely to have condomless sex with men of HIV-positive or unknown status, amongst whom HCV prevalence was higher than other HIV-negative men.

One unanswered question is whether this might in future lead to a general increase in HCV prevalence among the HIV-negative gay population, or whether PrEP users were a specific population that were untypical of other HIV-negative gay men.

I know young people are invulnerable, until they learn better, but this old fart is sick and tired of reading about the stupid reckless behavior. "Those who don't learn from the past are condemned to repeat it."

R210, I am in my mid 30s, have yet to reach elderbi status, but I have gay men as friends who are in their 50s and 60s, and they told me all about how scary it was for bi and gay men in the 80s, and how they have stayed neg by always using condoms, and avoiding any sex with someone who wants it raw, on PREP, or who uses drugs.

R210 also look up the topic here about the Wrigleyville cum dump on datalounge, it is fucked up, and disturbing how many young adult gay men do it unsafe, and think they will be fine, and stay healthy.

SEX IS DIRTY AND SPREADS DISEASE. SEX WILL KILL YOU IF YOU HAVE IT!! STOP SEXING OR YOU WILL DIE FROM AIDSSSS!! 😱🤮😵

[quote]PrEP enthusiasts counter that PrEP mandates testing for S.T.I.s every three months, a practice that promotes rather than discourages a culture of sexual health.

Many taking PrEP in San Francisco not having recommended HIV and STI screens: Almost a quarter of people were not tested for HIV before starting PrEP and follow-up tests were not ordered for a third of testing intervals.

It is safer than bareback anal sex, but if you have a cut, sore, or broken skin in your mouth you can get infected with HIV that way.

I have friends who have partners who are HIV+. They told me how they use condoms for oral sex or have their partner suck them but don't suck him, as they are neg and want to stay that way.

In Brazil prep is offered for free by the government but you must test every 3 months to get a refill. New nazi president wants to cut it.

R217 what about the large number of people who buy PREP online and do not get tested? Brasil also keeps records of people who are HIV+ or living with AIDS, and on meds. They have done this for decades.

I sucked endless massive loads from a non-medicated poz guy and am still neg. HOWEVER, I have good oral hygiene. If your gums are even slightly inflammed...

Yeah that's not something I would personally risk R219, but I sometimes get bleeding gums when I floss and brush.

I have friends who took loads from HIV+ men up their ass and in their mouth, not just once, and they have no clue how they did not get infected with HIV.

[quote]but I sometimes get bleeding gums when I floss and brush.

Cepacol gargle at the first glimpse of any inflammation, and it will stop it stone dead.

I dated a guy for several months who is HIV+ (prep, undetectable viral load). He's got a big thick dick and I loved deep-throating it. I was always careful and never ate his jizz, but he liked to eat mine, gulped it down. A few times I put a condom on him so he could cum while I sucked. I never caught anything, no STDs. I always gargled with mouthwash afterward, as per his suggestion. We fucked a few times with condoms, but were most into 69.

Good times. He's now with a boyfriend who's HIV+ and they always bareback, he says. that's what he wanted in a LTR.

This would be direct seman to blood contact, which is only second to blood to blood contact for spreading HIV.

If you have no blood it's fine.

R222 almost all poz men bareback. They have the delusional mentality that they are invincible and that because they are already HIV+ that they do not have to practice safer sex, and they are in complete denial about how bareback sex spreads Hep C and other strains of HIV, and other STDs. It prevents both people's HIV meds-if they are on them and take them daily-from working as well as they should.

Also, they all claim to be undetectable and maybe at the time they had blood work done they were but this doesn't mean they stay undetectable.

[quote] It prevents both people's HIV meds-if they are on them and take them daily-from working as well as they should.

Do you have a medical reference for that? We look forward to reading it. In the meantime, carry on with your fake news.

Here you go R225.

Again R225.

What you've provided is contradictory theory, where experts disagree on outcomes.

Every poz person I know barebacks; has done so since the get-go (often decades); and their health doesn't appear any worse for it than can be expected for someone poz.

If sucking cock and taking a load down your throat was an especially easy way to get HIV I would have been HIV+ or dead decades ago. OP if you have no health issues with your mouth go at it. I would suggest you don't get to crazy though. Avoid extreme deep throating if he's a big boy. That can cause tiny tears in your throat. Stomach acid kills HIV on contact. So give that boy a good show.

I've sucked hundreds of cocks in my younger years, some of them HIV positive guys and never got infected. The chances are very small but if you have a mouth ulcer don't suck cock. Likewise, don't brush your teeth or floss before oral sex - I know it should revolting but brushing and flossing can cause tiny cuts in the gums. I actually know someone who had flossed their teeth, then went out looking for sex and sucked on some cock and became HIV positive. He knows for sure that that he how is contracted HIV, through oral sex as he had not had anal sex for a long time. So it can and does happen but its very, very rare. But when push comes to shove if you don't feel comfortable, don't do it.

R230 I have met people who became HIV+ from sucking cock but they were into swallowing, and had open cuts or sores in their mouth.

I would not now knowingly suck a poz guy even though I sucked a hundred dicks and swallowed in the early plague years and never got infected.

Oh, man., reading some of you morons explains why young gays don't get tested, or get tested, find out theiy're poz and kill themselves. Use your head. If you know the guy is HIV+ it's because he's told you, and if he's told you, he's being treated and he's undetectable and is not infectious. You can suck him off every day, all day and never become infected. The Swiss, maybe the most cautious country in Europe changed they're safe-sex guidelines to reflect this 10 years ago. The caveat is that you're both monogamous and without any other stis.

Morons like R233 are why people still get infected with HIV and other STDs. Not everyone that is HIV+ is on medications, the meds do not always work, and not all HIV+ people are or stay undetectable. Also the majority of HIV+ men do not use condoms for anal sex, will swallow almost anyone as they think they are invincible, and most lie or do not say they are HIV+ as there's still a stigma about being HIV+ or living with AIDS.

You don't even know the difference between 'they're' and 'their'.

I have asked multiple medical professionals about this including gay doctors, and they said how giving oral sex is low risk but it is not completely risk free, as you can get HIV and other diseases from it if the other man is infected, and while most people get infected with HIV from unprotected anal sex as bottom, or top, it can happen from giving oral sex. The gay doctors said how it is best not to have sex with someone who is HIV+, or to get sucked instead.

r234 Oh, dear. Reading comprehension..

R233, actual monogamy among two men especially HIV+ men or a neg vers/bottom guy is extremely rare.

r236 Maybe in your world.

R237, no honey, it is called the reality of gay life. Most gay men, especially HIV+ men are not monogamous and either cheat or are in open marriages/relationships.

For what it's worth, I lost a good friend 30 years ago to hiv-related pneumocystis, and he only sucked dick. Didn't take any in his ass.

In spite of what hiv apologists and revisionists will try to tell you, the risks of reckless, unprotected cocksucking are real and deadly.

I am sorry for your loss R239. My elder gay and elder bi friends who were around and sexually active before HIV/AIDS was discovered and who survived the pandemic said the same thing how there were bi and gay men who became infected from giving oral sex, and from being top/activ/giver during anal sex without condoms.

Absolutely true.

[quote]For what it's worth, I lost a good friend 30 years ago to hiv-related pneumocystis, and he only sucked dick. Didn't take any in his ass.

Yeah, that's what he may have told you. I'd lay money down that the reality was different. People lied about not being passive partners, due to some lingering internal stigma they held, as much as they lied about their HIV status.

Lots of guys back then didn't relish telling their parents -- and doctors -- that they lived to be bum-burgled. "Oh I just got it sucking a dick" seemed in their minds a story that didn't trash their character. It was all bullshit.

I know a guy who claims he survive the AIDS epidemic solely because he only sucked dick and hated fucking

R242 he didn't get fucked, you ass. We had many discussions about it.

But since you weren't there, and we were, by all means lay not just money on it, but your life as well.

Go suck a bunch of poz dick and get back with me in 6 months with your doctor's findings.

It's best if you don't have sex with someone who is HIV+ if you want to stay HIV- and without other diseases.

[quote]Go suck a bunch of poz dick

Guess what: I have. Dozens and dozens of loads. And they weren't on meds. Still neg.

Did you have unprotected anal sex with those men R247?

I have friends who got fucked raw a few times in the 80s and early 90s by HIV+ men, and they swallowed poz cum as well, and they have no idea how they are HIV-.

No. I adhere to expert medical advice. (Not what shrill Marys who had fibbing friends tell me.)

Keep it up, smartass. Seriously. Just keep doing it.

Wow, there is an incredible amount of false information in this thread. We cannot rely on "my friend's best friend knew someone who got it" as a scientific source. Epidemiologists have done numerous statistical studies which show that oral sex is by far the rarest of vectors for the transmission of HIV. (I think they have only discovered a handful of documented cases in 30 years of keeping records, if that many). Secondly, it is FAR safer having sex with someone who is HIV+ and is on medication, gets regular doctor visits and knows that he is undetectable than it is trusting someone who says he is HIV-, when he might have not been tested in the past 10 years, which is also a common situation. But in either case, oral sex is VERY VERY LOW RISK. Below is from VERY WELL health site:

"If asking can a person get HIV from oral sex, the honest answer would have to be possibly but unlikely. For the most part, oral sex—either in terms of fellatio (oral-penile), cunnilingus (oral-vaginal), or anilingus (oral-anal)—is not an efficient route of HIV transmission. With that being said, the word "can" suggests a theoretic possibility that many find difficult to dismiss.

Theoretic and Documented Risk Whenever discussing HIV risk, it is important to differentiate between a theoretic and documented risk. A documented risk is based on the actual number of cases to which HIV can be directly attributed to an act of oral sex. And, when looking through that lens, the risk of infection by oral sex is actually extremely low. Not zero, perhaps, but edging close to it.

In fact, according to a study from the University of California San Francisco's Centers for AIDS Prevention Studies, the probability of HIV infection through unprotected oral sex was statistically ZERO, although the researchers went so far as to add that "we can not rule out the possibility that the probability of infection is indeed greater than zero."

R251 mutual masturbation, rubbing, BDSM, and getting sucked or rimmed are all safer than giving oral sex is for HIV. There have apparently been a few cases where someone did get HIV from giving oral sex but they had cuts or open/broken skin in their mouth and were into swallowing. Giving oral sex is low risk for HIV, but you can get a lot of other STDs that way. Most people become poz from unprotected anal or vaginal sex, or IV drug use.

Every poz guy claims they are constantly undetectable but unless the test was very recent and they actually show you, they have no idea if this is true anymore than you do. Also the argument that if someone is tested and diagnosed with HIV means they are on meds and undetectable, is not necessarily true. I know people who are HIV+ and their HIV/infectious disease doctor told them not to go on meds. I have also known HIV+ men who have stopped taking their meds, or take a hiatus from taking them daily.

The viral load of the poz partner is irrelevant R252, if the neg partner is on Prep. Do try and keep up.

R253, not every guy on PREP takes it daily like you are supposed to. It's better to use condoms and not become a slave to a drug company or toxic drug like Truvada/prep that has very bad short and long term side effects.

"Anybody who voluntarily takes an antiviral every day has got to have rocks in their heads. There’s something to me cowardly about taking Truvada instead of using a condom. You’re taking a drug that is poison to you!"-Larry Kramer

It is best to avoid sex with a POZ guy, or man on PREP.

255 = elderly serious overweight mouth breather who shuffles down to the local glory hole porno lounge hoping for 'size meat'. Always gargles after removing dentures.

Nope, R256 just someone that's HIV neg and without any STDs and who will stay that way.

Original poster is an est

Don't do it. You are playing with fire, and will get burned.

I met a poz guy on a sex site bear411 who claims he was infected via giving oral sex since he apparently sucked off some poz guy and had a cut or sore in his mouth.

He could be lying and have been fucked raw up the ass or fucked the other guy raw, or he could be telling the truth?

That's not something I would personally do OP.

I know it's claimed that if someone is HIV+ and on meds, or HIV+ and undetectable that it is fine as a HIV neg person to have sex with them, and that giving oral sex is low risk; but given how many HIV+ men are into bareback sex I would personally not ever give a man that is HIV+ or who is on PREP, or who is into barebacking oral sex as I don't want to get any other STDs they have.

Don't do it. If someone is poz chances are they probably have other diseases or infections as a lot of poz men think that they don't need to use condoms and can keep having all the bare sex they want with anyone, or with people who they think are clean, neg from everything but HIV, etc. which is how they were infected in the first place.