Are you a bisexual male? Do you identify as straight?
I know a few bi men who identify as straight. They''re completely comfortable within themselves and acknowledge that they like guys/girls equally, yet if you asked them they''d say they were straight....Is this common amongst bi men?
Is this common amongst bi men? In about 95% of them OP.
Yes, OP. In the society we live in, bi people are pressured to identify as straight.\
Maybe in the future it will be different.
Bi males are gays
No they aren''t, R3.\
Get off that line of reasoning, because it is faulty.
Unless, of course, R2, if they had the courage and the balls to identify as bi or gay. But, once their rocks are off, they are "straight."
Bi males do not exist, it is a internal self love head game. OP proves that point, they call themselves straight. There is, however, genuinely such a thing as Bi females.\
Bi Male = ashamed to be gay
If bi males are gay, obviously cock and ass aren''t enough for men, because bis love the pussy too. Pussy is enough for straight guys.
pussy is perfection
The people here love the fantasy that most men are bi, especially hunky handsome masculine types. ROTFLMAO.
This will not end well.
If someone tells me they are bi, why should I question them? They know how they feel, I don''t
I''ve never met a bi man who didn''t later turn out to be a garden variety gay.
I prefer that bi men identify as straight, it makes them hotter!
Oh god, oh god, another one of these threads. They are here every month.%0D\
Whatever "bisexual males" are (and I put that in quotes), they are MESSED UP people. Run far far away. They are mindgame players and getting tangled up with one will never end well. They are not even good friends. Duplicituous. The bisexual tag is only the tip of an iceberg of psychologically fucked up problems.%0D\
I, personally, don''t think they really exist in males, either. Our psychological make-up is simply hotwired to be attracted to one gender or another predominantly. That does not mean that we cannot function sexually with the sex we are less attracted to, either. Plenty of gay men had/have sex with women. Sometimes. Doesn''t make it their sexual preference, though, if truth were told.%0D\
Men who identify as bisexual creep me the hell out. Always have. They are usually poseurs, too. Laughable.
R13 if said "gay man" is having sex with women that makes him bisexual! Bisexuality does exist in men a lot more than some like to admit.
R13, what shite you write.
r13 your spot on. And the poseur description is everyone I have ever met! LEAVE LEAVE so called bi''s to themselves.
"male" is a socially constructed concept, therefore there are no "bisexual males".
r14, the raw ability to have sex with both genders does not make one bisexual, if the definition is one of PREFERENCE. It's not just about the clinical physiological ability to have an erection and place it in a vagina. In fact, perhaps MOST gay men have HAD sex with women along the way to self discovery and coming out. Almost all gay men used to get married and father children because society pressured them to, as well. It doesn't mean that they sexually preferred their wives, either. Many were MORE attracted to other men but did not act on it out of fear or whatever. I suspect the sex lives of closeted married guys was and remains pretty sporadic and lackluster. They do it once in awhile and with decreasing frequency to perform their "husbandly duties" and to keep their wives quiet. But they secretly desire cock. Bisexual? I guess it's a judgment call and depends upon how you define the word in practical terms and in actual practice. It's nomenclature.%0D
Everyone prefers one gender over another. No one is at the exact midpoint on the Kinsey scale. %0D
Also, a male who identifies as a bisexual is putting a creepy tag on himself that indicates he is a manipulative self-important poseur, at least every one I have met in my middle-aged life. They make me roll my eyes. %0D
R18 I was talking about "gay men" who have sex with women after they have come out. I''m not talking about closet cases.
Some gay men, who sleep with only men, and no women at all, identify as "straight". Is it honest? No. Is it attractive? No. But, it happens. If you find that attractive, then whatever floats your boat. Some people do, and the funny thing is these gay men are always single, and many times ignored by the "straight" guys they want, especially at my gym.
John Wayne Gacy claimed he was not a homosexual or even bi!
R21, what company gay and bisexual who claim to be straight keep, huh? Gacy was very deslusional; claiming to be straight and claiming to not killing those boys... %0D\
Delusion is there problem.
I too find it ludicrous to believe in "bi-males".
I''ve known several bi guys who ended up being straight and getting married. I''m sure they''re still attracted to men, but they love their wives. So that ''bi now gay later'' thing isn''t always so.%0D\
Some gays often just can''t get their heads around the idea for some reason (see above). They''re also the kind of gay who is always labelling a lot of men as gay who often are not. It''s called projecting. Look it up.%0D\
If a man has one gay sexual thought in his whole life, they label him as gay, forever. I understand it, but the aggressive ''no such thing as a bi'' is very narrow minded and irritating.
r22, are you drunk or are you always functionally illiterate? You have the grammar and spelling skills of a dyslexic goat.
Some of us know straight men. Straight men do not fuck ass, get their dick sucked by a guy or make out with a guy. some of us have no need to fantasize over straight men or to call someone gay who is not gay.%0D
But bisexual guys are different. Some indeed, as R24 says, love their wives and refrain from having sex with males when they marry.%0D
But many bisexual men continue to have sex with men while they are married. And they are the ones who need to be called out. If you want the cover of straight hood (and, if you're married, most straight people can't get their mind around the idea that a married man is gay) but want to have sex with guys then be prepared to be exposed. You want to have it all but you can't.%0D
A closed gay guy who calls himself bisexual or, worse, straight because he wants the approval of straight society also needs to be called out for his chicken shit ways. Plenty of gay men have come out and lived their lives and, more importantly, put up with shit from uptight, bigoted straight people. So if you want to avoid this because you're a piece of chicken shit, fine. Just be prepared for being called on your cowardice.
[quote]I, personally, don't think they really exist in males, either. Our psychological make-up is simply hotwired to be attracted to one gender or another predominantly. That does not mean that we cannot function sexually with the sex we are less attracted to, either. Plenty of gay men had/have sex with women. Sometimes. Doesn't make it their sexual preference, though, if truth were told.
r13, what you wrote is the very definition of bisexuality. If you simply prefer men but also have an attraction to women, to a lesser extent, then you are by definition a bisexual. Bisexuality simply means you have an attraction to both genders, the level of preference one way or the other is irrelevant. The terms gay/homosexual are for those who have an exclusive attraction to their own gender, i.e. they feel no attraction to the opposite gender.
There are plenty of bisexuals who only have sex/relationships with their preferred gender but that doesn't make them straight or gay, they are still bisexual. Actually, there seem to be many 'gay' men who are attracted to women (admittedly to a lesser extent) but still continue to call themselves gay rather than the more accurate identifier of 'bisexual'.
Thank you, r27. Most people are too stupid to understand the term and all it implies.
Considering how much frothing anger some gay men loudly espouse against bisexuals in the community (and the community lets this hate slide for the most part), I don''t really blame any bisexuals who refer to themselves as gay or straight, but not bi. That whole "bi now, gay later" attitude is clearly telling bisexuals they may as well just lie because they''re damned if they do, damned if they don''t.
Yeah, R29, again, it''s the openly gay man''s fault that the bi guy is a coward. Great rationalization. If you''re bisexual, then be proud of it. If you''re not, I''m not taking the blame. It takes courage to be an openly gay or bisexual man.
r27, and r28, wouldn't YOUR definition, then make the WHOLE HUMAN FUCKING RACE bisexual by DEFAULT, then? What the hell "to a lesser extent" IS that "extent?" I mean, ALL women COULD function sexually with either sex, whether they really enjoyed it or not. So, say a lesbian says "I don't actually enjoy sex with men but I used to have it with my ex-husband all the time. It was kind of blah." She liked it "a little bit" but she also always preferred women. So, is SHE a bisexual NOW? She hasn't had sex with a man in a long time and has no plans to.%0D
And a gay man who professes to have ZERO sexual attraction to women could probably find a way to get it up for a whole lot of money or under penalty of death or something. So, he decides it was very mildly enjoyable and he thought of his boyfriend the whole time. HIS "lesser extent" was really small but he DID have an orgasm with the woman. So, is HE a bisexual?%0D
If the "level of preference" doesn't matter, then there are no HOMOsexuals, either. since we all have SOME degree of attractiveness to both genders, no matter how wide the gap.%0D
That makes everyone bisexual and your theory BULL FUCKING SHIT.
r27, there is no one who is 100% on either end of the Kinsey scale so, according to YOUR brilliant definition, EVERYONE is bisexual.%0D
I''m 110% gay, but have had sex one or more times with bisexual men. they were dating women, hit on me, and we either had a threeway or he liked to be watched and touched or butt-played while fucking a gal. i always let them know I was not interested in doing more than a little touching with the women, but the four times 3ways happened, I got a little bi. But that was only because the guy was hot, and involved in the sex.
I''ll cum in the middle
I caught the end of an interview with two experts on BBC world radio this morning. One of the experts (who is, I think, a neurologist) was saying that males tend to be very straight or very gay and that very few men are bisexual. The other expert seemed to be saying that female sexuality is more fluid and that females are more likely to be able to be ''turned on'' by erotic images of males and females.
Calm down, r31. Now, now, it''s ok.
P.S. Gay men don''t have to fuck women. So if they do, they''re really bisexual.
Top here; I pretend to be straight or bi all the time because it gets me ass. Stupid nelly bottoms always believe it.
r27 here. r31, kindly note that in my post I was referring to attraction, not behaviour. Anyone can have sex with anyone for any number of reasons, I''m not talking about the sexual act itself. For example, I''m gay and I could have sex with a woman, that act wouldn''t change the fact that I don''t find women sexually/romantically attractive. I''m simply saying that if someone has a sexual attraction to both genders, regardless of the of the level of preference and regardless of whether they act upon that attraction, then they are by definition bisexual.
The "experts" r34 is talking about have been trying desperately to sell that little drama for quite a while now.
and they''re still full of shit!
A bi thread? Haven''t seen one of those in a while.\
39 replies and not one real bisexual in the bunch. \
A woman who claims to be bisexual = a straight woman.%0D\
A man who claims to be bisexual = a gay man.
Let''s see... Normal people vs. caftans, earings....\
that doesn''t sound clear cut to me but then again, I''m man enough to be gay and not a pussy-bi guy
This thread is just depressing. I don''t care how many real bi guys there are, the fact is that there are SOME. All the prejudice on display here is disgusting.
R46 I believe.
Wow! I really opened a can of worms huh?%0D\
My bi friends are completely at peace with themselves and their sexuality, and like i said, fully acknowledge that they like guys as well as girls....they happen to identify as straight mainly, i guess, cos they can''t be bothered explaining their complex attractions to strangers...guess i answered my own question huh?
Bi guys end up committing to women 99,999 times out of 100,000, so I guess the predominant frame of reference for themselves is going to be straight.
Listen to r49. He''s wearing a lab jacket and carrying a clip board, so you know he''s an expert and not just a stereotyping bigot.
Oh geez, not this stupid thread again.
Could someone please explain to me WHY gay men do not believe in the existence of bi males? %0D\
Do you think dick is so much more compelling than pussy that a man who''s had both couldn''t possibly enjoy them equally?%0D\
It''s like the old one drop of black blood makes you a black person bullshit.%0D\
r52, I think some of these guys have been dumped by a bi male who went after a girl instead, and now tell themselves he (and, by extension, all bi men) couldn''t possibly be enjoying that pussy. It seems like an attitude only an insecure person would cling to (and this goes for straight bigots who say being gay is "just a phase" as well). People who are secure with themselves don''t need to dismiss the self-label of millions of strangers like that.
[quote]hey happen to identify as straight mainly, i guess, cos they can''t be bothered\
[quote]WHY gay men do not believe in the existence of bi males?\
frankly, I like the idea but ALL of the so-called bisexual males I''ve gotten to know over my 42 years have then later turned out to be fairly typical gay men, they all just when through that transition from straight to bi to gay. If you''re bi, fine, but get back to me in five years and I''ll see. . . .
[quote]Oh geez, not this stupid thread again.%0D\
I rather like them, especially when people get ANGRY, oh and the statistics queens give a real run for their money.
I''m not a male (I just came in to observe) but I can identify with being bisexual. No matter who I date, marry or have kids with I''ll be bisexual and I won''t set aside or lose that identity (reality) for anyone, period. Much like being my ethnic background, a citizen from the great state of ...., a woman, right-handed, you get the point. :) I do wonder if it''s easier or harder for people based on their other characteristics? Some people want to be/seem as "normal"/"mainstream" as possible, while others, if they wouldn''t change one characteristic they wouldn''t change any of them because it makes you the unique human being that you are, regardless of 3rd party/public opinion. If you aren''t from a certain economic background, a certain color, gender, sexuality, religion, etc, then you aren''t exactly at the top of the food chain to begin with. In for a penny..
Excuse my insomnia-related rambling.
r52, you don''t have to enjoy them equally, you just have to enjoy them both.
not a difficult concept!
[quote]Excuse my insomnia-related rambling%0D\
But, oh my goodness, your words are laced with the sparkling gold that is truth. Thank you for your insights. Thank you, so very much.
These labels mean different things to different people; not all of whom are honest.\
But the truth is, most bisexuals ARE more strongly attracted and oriented toward one gender over another, especially the men.
I''m a big-ol-dyke. I try to stick with girls as much as I can, But...%0D\
I have hooked up with men because i''m into anal and they approached me (a few thinking I was a tranny). %0D\
Some claimed "gay" some claimed "bi"--but they all took it like champs, lol.%0D\
I admit to a biased thinking: If you''re bi and you *really enjoy* getting fucked then you skew "gay".%0D\
Hey, what of the guys who are attracted to trannies (for that somethin'' extra) or butch women who know how chop wood (and use a strap-on)? %0D\
What does that make them, lol?
If you''re smaller, cuter and softer than me I''ll play
If a man allows a woman and another man take turns performing
fellatio on him he has bisexual tendencies he does not have
homosexual tendencies, if a man allows another man to perform fellatio on him while he is performing cunnilingus on a woman he has
bisexual tendencies he does not have homosexual tendencies,
if a man allows another man to perform fellatio on him while a woman is
performing anilingus on him he has bisexual tendencies he does not have
homosexual tendencies, if a man has anal sex with a woman while he is
performing fellatio on another man he has bisexual tendencies
he does not have homosexual tendencies. male bisexuality does exist
and you are a fool if you believe that male bisexuality does not exist.
"They're completely comfortable within themselves and acknowledge that they like guys/girls equally"
I don't know any male bisexuals who like men and women equally. They all have a clear preference for one gender over the other.
Some of you are more judgmental and in denial than Christians.
Yes, bisexuality exists. Why wouldn't it? What about all other sexualities that exists? Pansexuality, pedophilia and the shitton of different sexual fetishes?
So why is bisexuality so hard to believe in?
It's one thing that something exists, another how it's handled in society. Of course many men who are bisexual will claim to be straight, because that's way easier since it's not yet accepted for a man to be bisexual or gay. Women can get away with being bisexual because it's hot to straight men and the straight men still has a chance at them. Lesbians on the other hand are harder to accept for straight men because it means they're unavailable to them. And of course straight men see no advantage with men being gay. I'm saying "straight men" but what I really mean is egocentric douches of course, not all straight men are like that.
99% of bi men identify as "straight"
[quote]No they aren't, [R3]. Get off that line of reasoning, because it is faulty.
And yet gay DLers believe they are progressive thinkers and THIS generation of gay men (i.e. DLers who rabidly hate women) would have been responsible for universal human rights. "If I whine long enough maybe I can advocate universal bisexuality-denial into law. How DARE anybody be into something I'M not into & don't understand?"
Bi men call themselves straight and most gay men insist they become bisexual.
We live in a society where there is a need for labels, categories, and pretty much shoving people inside our own little boxes to understand them. Indeed, abstract thinking has pretty much been abandoned when it comes to the understanding of human beings in particular. Why we should even feel a need to impose our personal limitations of thinking onto another person’s way of life is beyond me. However, it lead me to cross paths with an individual quite like myself in terms of thought. Today we visit “The Real World”, I’m sure you might be pondering as to what I’m making reference to for it is apparent that if you are reading this you are already in “The Real World”. ”The Real World” I’m referring to is a reality television program on MTV originally produced by Mary-Ellis Bunim and Jonathan Murray. It was first broadcast in 1992, inspired by the 1973 PBS documentary series “An American Family”. It is the longest-running program in MTV history, one of the longest-running reality series in history, and it is credited with launching the modern reality TV genre.
A genre that has taken the platform and almost made a parody of life so much that one may ask, what would make a man who is already so educated and well-documented in accomplishments participate in such a program. This question can only be answered by the man himself, which is the 25-year-old Abilene, TX native Marlon Williams, cast member of MTV’s “The Real World Portland”. Marlon responds by saying, “being a thrill seeker I felt it was a good way to meet real people coming into a melting pot of sorts comprised of real stories, no scripts and still displayed on film.
How much of “The Real World” is actually real? Of course I know there is editing, but do you guys get sort of coached into taking situations in a certain direction?
Marlon: It is real, no coaching! They fly you in and just drop you off in the house. No, as the public you don’t get to see the entire full-picture of what happens in the house, but there is no one there telling us to do this or that.
What was life like for before television? I know you were a star athlete in college, but who is Marlon? Did you ever have ambitions of going professional at all, and how do you feel your life has changed since “The Real World” has aired?
Marlon: I was just a college student who tried out for professional Canadian Football, has drawn blueprints for buildings that have actually been constructed, and raps. I have opened up for acts such as Snoop Dogg and members of YMCMB. I’m also a year away from completing my industrial engineering degree. I’m always trying to get better at things I guess you could say I’m a workaholic, which granted me the opportunity to perform at South by Southwest this year.
As for the show, I would call it a love/hate situation. Of course there is loss of privacy but I like connecting with the fans, which can get overwhelming. It’s like being a mini-celebrity you must posses the personality to deal with people. You go to bars and people are buying you drinks and asking to take pictures it all goes along with the territory.
Now you’re willingly disclosed some personal information about yourself on television, and the information you disclosed was that you are bisexual…is that correct? What made you decide that this was the time for you to let something so personal about yourself be known publicly?
Marlon: Yes I am bisexual, but on the show I said I was straight. I admit it was terrible timing that initially started as a joke, but after I said it everyone in the house got quiet so that required me to be more detailed about the situation than I wanted to. At the same time I’m not trying to hide anything I’m not seeking long-term relationships or dates with a guy, but I’m not closed off from having that contact with a guy. I’m still a manly man who likes relationships with women; with guys it’s more of a fetish.
In your own words define what you consider to be bisexual, and how do you feel it’s possible to equally share an attraction to both genders without some bias?
Marlon: I don’t understand why you can’t like both. Social-norms have nothing to do with it. For me, with a man of course there is an attraction that is purely physical its just sex that’s all it is… I’m in and I’m out. Whereas, with a woman its sex combined with longevity, a relationship, the question of do we vibe-well, and having children.
Do you feel the other cast mates treated you any differently after the information you disclosed to them, and more importantly how did people you were close with before the show treat you?
Marlon: They actually came and talked to me more because it was judgment free zone. That opened the door for me to have a closer friendship with everyone in the house. As far as everyone else they treated me the same obviously they asked questions, but to them I’m the same old Marlon.
Since using such a public platform to disclose this topic, do feel that the stereotypes and bullying of other individuals because of their preference will be viewed differently in our society?
Marlon: Unfortunately I don’t think it will be viewed differently in our society, but I do hope to inspire other men in my situation to know that they are not alone. I want people to also know it doesn’t have to strip you of who you are, I’m still a man it, doesn’t change that and it doesn’t change the fact that I have played football on a level that most men only dream of being 20%- 30% smaller than the average linebacker you can’t strip me of my masculinity because of my sexuality. So I just hope that maybe other guys can be more open about who they are and have a positive reaction.
Why bisexuals stay in the closet
Only 28% of bisexuals have come out because of stereotypes in the straight and gay communities that they're sex-crazed or incapable of monogamy, a new study shows.
July 14, 2013|By Emily Alpert
In the middle of the rainbowy revelers at the pride parade in West Hollywood, Jeremy Stacy was questioned: Are you really bisexual?
"One guy came up to me and said, 'You're really gay,' " said Stacy, who was standing under a sign reading "Ask a Bisexual." "I told him I had a long line of ex-girlfriends who would vehemently disagree. And he said, 'That doesn't matter, because I know you're gay.' "
In the middle of the rainbowy revelers at the pride parade in West Hollywood, Jeremy Stacy was questioned: Are you really bisexual?
"One guy came up to me and said, 'You're really gay,' " said Stacy, who was standing under a sign reading "Ask a Bisexual." "I told him I had a long line of ex-girlfriends who would vehemently disagree. And he said, 'That doesn't matter, because I know you're gay.' "
All bi guys treat their relationships with women 1000 times more valuable and with more respect than they treat their same sex "hook-ups". Then they bitch about biphobia!
Stay clear of all bi guys, that's my standpoint.
Pew Research Center: In the middle of the rainbowy revelers at the pride parade in West Hollywood, Jeremy Stacy was questioned: Are you really bisexual?
"One guy came up to me and said, 'You're really gay,' " said Stacy, who was standing under a sign reading "Ask a Bisexual." "I told him I had a long line of ex-girlfriends who would vehemently disagree. And he said, 'That doesn't matter, because I know you're gay.' "
Reading this thread is very disheartening for a bisexual. Why the hate and stereotyping? For the record: I have had happy relationships with women and happy relationships with men. I have not treated any one of them with more importance than the other and have not mistreated of deceived anyone. It is baffling to me that men who have lived for so long with misconceptions being thrown at them at every opportunity, would turn around and do the same thing to people they obviously don't understand. Shame on you.
Self-proclaimed bi guys are always homophobic. They always freak out if someone "accuses" them of being gay even if they have cocks in mouth, butt and each hand at the time.
"Too often, the gay community seeks to copy the heterosexual model of sexual and social practice. I believe the sexual norms within mainstream gay culture betray the true bond between two men -a bond that often goes beyond what is displayed publicly for fear of shame and misunderstanding."
Same with some dykes with feminine and masculine pairing
I've been with at least 3 true-blue bisexual guys and had a 4 year relationship with one of them. They were NOT homophobic, though I'm sure some bis could be, given how many self-hating gays are out there. They exist whether you want to accept it or not.
Are you a man who is sexually attracted to other men but find gay culture repulsive? Are you turned off by everything from guys referring to each other using feminine pronouns to the use of the anus as a surrogate vagina? You’re not alone. There are tons of guys out there who share your feelings and it isn’t because you are “self-loathing” and just need to accept that part of yourself.
Studies indicate that at least 60% of men experience some sort of romantic feelings toward other men. Many of these men have never expressed those feelings sexually and many have equal or stronger feelings toward women.ome of these guys are bold enough to take on the “bi” label and a relative few reluctantly accept the “gay” label. The overwhelming majority of guys who have feelings for other guys remain closeted in their feelings.
There are two main reasons the majority of ‘same-sex-attracted’ guys remain closeted:
1. Our culture fails to recognize the natural bond between members of the same gender and stigmatizes that bond.
2. So called “gay culture” is repugnant to the majority of ‘same-sex-attracted’ guys who do not identify with that culture.
The transformative power of learning that you can have romantic and sexual feelings toward other men and yet not subscribe to all the baggage of the gay community cannot be overstated.
It is truly liberating to learn there are other guys who share your feelings and long for a safe space to express those feelings. Guys often have a natural affection for one another. Sometimes they form deep bonds that have a hint of sexual attraction to them. Guys can sexually express themselves to one another without one of them rolling over and offering up his ass as a sexual instrument.
Too often, the gay community seeks to copy the heterosexual model of sexual and social practice. I believe the sexual norms within mainstream gay culture betray the true bond between two men -a bond that often goes beyond what is displayed publicly for fear of shame and misunderstanding.
As I write this, I feel the urge to end with a call to action, and an all-out effort to build an online forum to unite us. Unfortunately, I must be satisfied with the satisfaction of promoting our message and save the rest for another day
Gay guys hate bi guys because they wish they were bi guys too.
I identify as "straight," but I find guys and girls equally attractive.
I identify as straight when I'm around people I know.
I don't know of any (younger) gay men that wish to be bisexual, R86.
There are bi men who identify as gay. They know they prefer other guys generally, but are open to women. They don't talk about it due to bi-phobia among gay men.
bi guys usually suicide out
I'm 100% homo but had some fun bi experiences, mostly pleasuring the bi guy's ass while he fucked a chick. totally fun.
r92, you probably hang around a certain type of gay male, which leaves you without reference to types of bi/gay males are very different from the people hanging around you. Your small world is not the entire world.
That whole frottage thing is gross.
I like to fuck men, I like to fuck women. Frottage does not get me off with any gender.
I'm straight with a girlfriend, but have had sex with men on occasion, and my best male friend off and on.
I'm very straight.
What type of men do you like r97?
[R85] Interesting link, I'd never heard of it. I wish it had been around when I was younger.
gay but love pussy
Every military guy that came out as bisexual to me also identified as straight to everyone else.
LOL @ R86.
Maybe in your dreams, my dear.
But yes, I guess that gay men are upset because they are not creepy, sleazy, slutty, immoral, ignoble, traitorous and cruel sociopaths who play with people's feelings and then, when their distortions and lies are discovered, they claim to be misunderstood and victims of "discrimination".
You're right: that is SUCH a desirable way to be.
Hi guys, I just discovered that I'm bisexual. What advice to you have for me?
[quote]Bi males are gays
Apparently, they're the only gays who can act straight.
The flamers are completely hopeless.
I think bisexuals, both male and female, are just oversexed and indiscriminate.
R104 - follow the Wentworth Formula: deny, deny, DENY and then, deny a little bit more so that your pathetic fans (who are mostly emotionally stunted young women, ugly girls and sexually frustrated middle-aged housewives), don't turn their backs on you because you have crushed their hopes and dreams.
Then, when your career disintegrates, stage an opportunistic "coming out", saying that you were gay all along but don't have to explain why you vehemently denied it.
Oh, and don't forget to pay your "girlfriend" her salary... But I forgot, you're bisexual! Then you must follow the Travolta Formula: get married and engage in all sorts of shady behaviour with male masseurs, your "assistant", gay-for-pay creeps like Paul Barresi and film crews. When people look at you suspiciously, show your wife and children around a little, so that everyone remembers you also love pussy.
In that way, you will have a career and a "macho" image while trying to "seduce" men on the side. The perfect life!
when did Wentworth deny?
I'm bi. I have no problem telling others I am bi. Ive never felt the need to say anything differently. I will admit that at it is easier for me to score with men I find attractive than the women I find attractive. Most of the porn I look at is of women. I get equally aroused looking at a fine, slightly furry manhole as I do a wet, pink smooth pussy.
I think the applicability of 'straight' as a label is highly contextualized where bisexuality is concerned.My sexual self definitely identifies as 'bisexual' and those who really know me are aware that I swing both ways.Yet I tend to associate 'straight' with yours truly being able to actually have a fulfilling romantic relationship with a woman and connect with her on every level,something that I just can't fathom the thought of with another man.I've had to turn down those who had intentions beyond that of a physical relationship because I am incapable of reciprocating their romantic feelings.
Currently I'm in a long term relationship with a woman and have a strict don't fuck outside of clause (that's just how I roll if I'm in a relationship) but during my times with men,my MO consists of just fucking and immediately saying goodbye thereafter,trimmings are not part of the 'deal'.
I can assure you that bisexuality does in fact exist among men and probably way more than most people would like to let on.I'm aware that everything I've mentioned above comes across as paradoxical and may even endure criticism to the point of where I could be called a 'closet case' and/or 'denialist' but at the same time,I have always remained truthful about my sexuality and relationships etc.
Though I do tend to refrain from intense conversations in real life since the majority of people think that bisexuality is only reserved for women and those men who use this label are merely using it as an excuse to cover up their 'gayness'.My mom even caught me during college summer vac in Palm Beach at age 19 (almost two decades ago) groping some guy with my tongue half way down his throat and left stunned because I'd always had girlfriends and even had one a few months prior to this particular incident.Following this,I had a tough time making her understand the nature of my sexuality and after a few years later,she finally made peace with it and accepted me for who I am.
I love the guys who say they aren't into labels, but claim they are straight. Like that mental case Nick Gruber whatever.
[quote]Also, a male who identifies as a bisexual is putting a creepy tag on himself that indicates he is a manipulative self-important poseur, at least every one I have met in my middle-aged life.
I try to stay open minded, but I kind of agree with this.
r110, I hear that in 99% of cases with bi guys: men are for sex and women are for 'real' relationships. I appreciate when bi guys are honest and up front about their feelings. Honestly, (I know I'm in the minority) I lose interest sexually/romantically when I find out a guy is bi, it's the exact same reaction I have when I find out a guy is straight. Being friends with a straight or bi guy is cool but that's as far as it goes for me. From a sexual/romantic stand point my dick/heart react to bi guys the same as they react to straight guys: nice to look at but not worth the headache.
Sometimes I am left wondering if some gay guys are suffering from some sort of complex when measuring up -no pun intended- those who consider themselves to be bi.Why oh why is it so difficult for you to come to terms with us being attracted to people of both sexes?I adore women in more ways than one but find myself also being sexually attracted to men -an attraction based on physical aspects only.All of my sexual encounters with them have never progressed to anything meaningful that can even be deemed as a relationship.
Any relationships that I have had in my lifeto date have always been with women.Some of whom I have developed deep emotional connections with in addition to enjoying everything else that they have to offer.Frolicking with cocks has in no way deterred a few of us from also loving pussy to the max contrary to that closeted gay men BS that is spun to justify why bisexuality among men is apparently a myth.I did reveal my sexuality to these ladies once I felt that we were at a point where this needed to be known.Once we started having sex some asked if I was just pulling their leg about my sexual preferences because if this is what a bisexual man is like then they would take this over anything else.A few were even curious about what it feels like being with another man etc.
And to answer OP's question I don't feel the need to hide behind the societal label of what constitutes a man's sexuality so yes I DO identify as bisexual.
R114, gay men do not have a complex regarding bisexual men. The simple truth is that no one likes to feel like they are being used for sexual gratification. It's degrading and painful, and people tend to try to distance themselves from situations and individuals who might make them feel like little more than objects. Now, allow me to ask you, is that so difficult to understand?
While I commend you for your honesty in all regards, it is also true that many gay men have had horrible experiences with bisexual men who have manipulated, deceived and exploited them, while looking for an opposite sex partner to have a "real" relationship with. The rejection of what anyone would consider unfair and dishonest treatment is only natural, even if some take it to extreme levels.
SO, to answer your question, I doubt that any gay men, beside them most ignorant, would deny the existence of bisexuality in males. Then again, the often homophobic, disdainful and exploitative attitudes that many bisexual men seem to have towards gay men, as well as the inherent dishonesty in their conduct towards them, elicits an understandably hostile response from many members of the gay community.
Still, since you are clear about your intentions from the beginning, I wouldn't say that you could be lumped together with the sort of bisexual men that I have described.
R113, I belong to the same minority as you, which appears to be a rarity in the gay community. Self-loathing is a far greater issue than we can imagine, unfortunately.
[quote]The simple truth is that no one likes to feel like they are being used for sexual gratification.
Are you fucking kidding me? The internet if filled with men BEGGING to be used with no reciprocation. It is the ideal sexual relationship for a lot of men.
Bisexual men are cunts who are so selfish and all about the BI DRAMA! They are just too much of a drain to be around, plus they have no respect for gay men or same sex relationships, All they want is a cheap meaningless hook up while straight sex relationships or even hetero casual flings are valued rather highly. And then they wonder why gay men are biphobic?
All bi men even bi guys who are mostly gay will still end up with women.
I stay clear of bi men, not just romantically or sexually but even socially; they are exhausting to be around, it's all bout the bi drama.
R118....creating his own drama.
Any bi bars in NYC??
Yeah, gay men never have cheap meaningless hookups or drama. Too funny.
What happens to bisexual males? Do they get married to women and have sex with guys on the side? Do they end up anti-gay assholes? Suicide?
Some of us get married to men and have a girlfriend on the side.
There is no one thing that 'happens to bisexual men' as we are individuals. Some of us, just like some of you can be trusted and make good partners.
Hm, well, a good partner doesn't cheat. But, we are all individuals I suppose.
If you choose an open relationship it is not cheating.
Bi men will date women and fuck men on the side.
r116, excellent post, you hit the nail on the head.
[quote]Some of us get married to men and have a girlfriend on the side.
This never happened. Ever.
R129 -- rare, but yes, it does.
I identify as stud
Why get marry then if you're going to have an open relationship? If your girlfriend gets pregnant (which is a risk) I wonder if your husband will still be so welcoming.
Your marriage is going to break in 1...2...
So bi men can never be satisfied or happy with just one gender, if they date a guy they have to hook up with chicks, of the date a woman they have to cheat with other guys.
Actually that is rather sad, never to feel as if one can even stand a chance at having a happy fulfilled relationship with just one person.
I guess bi men don't care about that because they are so selfish and all have a personalty disorder.
The first time I fell in love (I was 12) it was with a very beautiful girl (think of a teenage, naturally blond version of Catherine Deneuve), it was so bad I couldn't concentrate on my school work and I flunked nearly every subject.
I could tell she also had a crush on me, but we were both terribly shy and nothing ever came of it. We moved at the end of the school year, I went to a another school and never saw her again.
Curiously enough it was the first and last time I ever was attracted to the opposite sex, it still puzzles me 'cause you'd think a first crush is a defining moment when it comes to discovering your orientation.
All I wanted to say is that things aren't as simple and b&w as you might want them to be. People in general have a tendency to simplify life so as to make it more manageable and comprehensible.
R134 would you categorize every gay relationship that was not monogomous as 'disordered'.
Why does the gender matter so much to you?
Of course not, but at least straight or gay men stand a chance at have a fulfilling relationship, for bisexual men it seems impossible from the outset.
r137 that is a lie.
i am bi but lean more on the hetero side by a lot. If there were just as much as feminine looking and acting gay guys or then i be almost equal but still leaning hetero. I haven't tried a guy by the way but my arousal and attraction thinks that it leans that way
No BS. Every bi leans one way or the other
R137 you are so full of shit.
I agree with R137.
Since that person supposedly is attracted to both genders then they will NOT be able to be satisfied with one person. They will oftentimes be crazing the other gender and this exponentially increases the chance of affairs and being unfulfilled.
Yes, relationships ideally should be based solely on love but you would be lying to yourself if you believe that other aspects such as sex and finances don't play a significant role in a successful relationship.
It's unfortunate but it's true.
wrong, r141. Millions of bisexuals are contently in lifelong monogamous marriages. Adults learn how to sacrifice their impulses and fleeting desires when they are in a relationships. You give up something to enter into a monogamous relationship, but that is part of what makes relationships special and good.
I agree r 142, as long as those relationships are with women. Bi guys would never make that sacrifice for a gay relationship. I think more so straight relationships because it has the added bonus of social acceptance.
The fact is bi men value sex with women and their attraction to women much much more than they value their feelings and attractions toward men, even bi guys that are more attracted to men they still value straight relationships more.
Personally I have had nothing but really bad experiences with bi guys, and most gay men I know who have date bi guys all tell me the same thing.
Maybe bi guys should ask why so many gay men feel bad toward them, rather than blaming gay men maybe they need to take some responsibility and acknowledge their failings when it comes to their attitude toward gay men.
But a bi guy taking responsibility for his action seems highly unlikely.
bi-guys are ALWAYS homophobes. They hate that part of themselves and they hate it in others. They NEVER hang out with gay guys.
My only problem with bisexual males (as others have alluded to):
They tend to ALWAYS gravitate to women for relationships and men for sex. When a person has no problem fucking someone, while refusing to make an emotional investment, it's NEVER for a purely innocent reason. It's basically akin to Strom Thurmond and Thomas Jefferson fucking black women, but viewing them as subhuman trash who weren't worthy of equal rights.
Has anyone ever met a bisexual male who gravitates toward men for relationships and women for sex only? It seems like bi guys gladly latch on to the straight label, yet run from "gay" with all of their strength.
Looking at all of the hate and biphobia in this thread alone, can you really blame bi men for ending up with females most of the time?
I am bi leaning towards men but the person is mire important than the gender for me.I have had romantic/emotional relationships with men , Two of which were also bi. However I am often made to feel unwelcome and treated like a liar by many of the gay men I have come across.
I have never cheated on anyone, but one if the bi guys, one woman and a few gay men have cheated on me.
In my experience a lot of women are reluctant to get into a relationship withba bi male, but it's never been as negativeca response as from gay men.
[quote]bi-guys are ALWAYS homophobes.
Bullshit. I am a bi man and NOT a homophobe. None of the other bi men I know are homophobes.
IDEALLY, that's definitely how it SHOULD be!
The reality of *HUMAN NATURE* is that most people (especially males) eventually must act on all sexual desires or else it can actually inversely affect their mental health. Stuff like that builds up to the point in which a person becomes overwhelmed with their fantasy.
I'm in my 30's and engaged to another man. When picking a mate, I MADE SURE that he already fulfilled all of his fantasies; so now we have a much higher chance of having a healthy relationship with no regrets and all fleeting desires out of the way; and we all know what we want due to trying out everything we wanted to try out.
However, I do agree that everybody is their own individual with different limits; but the vast majority of humans can't hold in their sexual desires on a long-term basis without it eventually impacting their daily life. Some could hold out longer than others but it eventually happens.
r148, no, perhaps that is the plight of a person who places sexual fantasies and impulses about other important factors such as morality, relationships, commitment, fidelity, and beliefs, but that is not the experience of many. Many, many married bisexuals are in monogamous marriages and fulfilled by those relationships. This notion that every impulse, desire, or inclination must be indulged in is pure hedonistic rationalization.
I've known 2 men who were openly bisexual and weren't pretending they were straight in public and gay in private. They didn't care what anyone thought and they were both great fucks. I've also known others who claimed to be bisexual but were obviously gay. True bisexuals do exist but they are few and far between.
Slaves need cages. They like them.
[quote]I've known 2 men who were openly bisexual and weren't pretending they were straight in public and gay in private. They didn't care what anyone thought and they were both great fucks.
If I were President, I would invent a tool that vaporize all three of you homophobic assholes instantly.
[quote]They didn't care what anyone thought and they were both great fucks.
I said this before, it has less to do with who they are having sex with, but the fact they just like having a lot of sex.
The truly bisexual guys Ive known were very physically attractive. My theory is that bisexual men are just very attractive people who also happen to be hyper-sexual. They use all the attention they get from both males and females to satisfy the hyper-sexuality.
People in Brazil don't even think twice about bisexuality, and it's a no brainer why they don't. They are considered some of the best looking people in world, so it makes sense that bisexuality is common there. Not saying that being hot goes hand in hand with being bi, but when you have more attractive people in one place, the chances that more of them are acting on their sexual compulsiveness is greater.
154 Take your meds please
The word homophobic has no meaning anymore. R154 is evidence of that.
r155, you are incorrect. that is a myth. Brazil is not some pansexual culture where open bisexuality is widely accepted. In fact, anti-gay violence is amongst the highest in the world, and attempts to pass gay rights laws have been stymied by a strong anti-gay population. Finally, Brazil has one of the largest and fastest growing evangelical populations in the nation, and projections indicate evangelicalism will outstrip Catholicism as the country's most prevalent faith in a couple of decades.
Most of you have probably heard of the Kinsey Scale — a measure from zero (100 percent hetero) to six (100 percent gay) that determines a person’s perceived sexual orientation. A recent review of research on the matter, done by Ritch Savin-Williams at Cornell University, focused attention on the 1′s — those they are labeling “mostly heterosexual.”
What does that mean exactly? I’m picturing the guy in my acting class who admitted to getting a reach-around handjob from another dude once, but preferred girls. Oh, actors. I’m also thinking of a friend of mine who I brought with me to a dinner party. She wound up getting really drunk on Pinot and I found her in the backyard making out with a girl. Her boyfriend never found out. This is my loose understanding of being “mostly heterosexual.”
According to researchers, the “mostly heterosexual” group is so distinct that scientists are considering taking a more nuanced approach to their study of sexual orientation. Duh. But still, yay! Below, check out some things to know about those who fall in the “mostly heterosexual” category:
1. “Mostly heteros” are more attraction than action. The review found that both male and female “mostly heterosexuals” were more into people of the same sex than heteros, but less into them than bisexuals when it came to attraction, fantasy and sexual behavior. No surprise there. But the “mostly heterosexuals” tended more toward attraction than to action. Meaning, they were more likely to ogle someone of the same sex from afar or fantasize about them than to actually take them home and do the deed.
2. There are a lot of 1′s out there in the world. From 21 studies conducted in six countries, the average percentage of women who identify as “mostly heterosexual” is 7.6 – 9.5 percent and for men, it is about 3.6 – 4.1 percent. I’m not a numbers gal, but if Google is correct, that works out to about 150,000,000 million men who would be down to give a bj every once in a while. A little bit gay is great as far as I’m concerned. But my friends often accuse me of “thinking everyone is gay.” Basically, I’m right, they are. But only SOMETIMES. That’s the distinction.
3. They’re more stable over time than those who identify as bisexual. Data collected from three different studies found that about half of those who identified as “mostly heterosexual” in their adolescence still identified the same way as adults. This was a much higher percentage than those who identified as bisexual.
4. Those who identified as “mostly heterosexual” had consistent language to describe their orientation. Even though “mostly heterosexual” wasn’t a box to tick on they survey, those who came out to be 1′s on the Kinsey Scale used similar language when describing how they felt sexually. The men said things like: “Straight until the right guy comes along” or “Straight but not narrow.” The women said things like: “Eighty-five percent straight with only minor attraction to women” or “I’ll do sexual acts with a woman, but I’m not interested in women romantically.”
Do you identify as “mostly heterosexual?” Or some other shade of gay,straight or bi? Should we start petitioning for a bunch of more nuanced sexual orientations?
re: Adults learn how to sacrifice their impulses and fleeting desires when they are in a relationships. You give up something to enter into a monogamous relationship, but that is part of what makes relationships special and good.
Maybe half of all adults. Look at the divorce rate for straights.
argely an invisible group in our society. However, there is evidence to suggest that they are not rare, only rarely identified. How these men perceive themselves, reconcile the ordinary aspects of their lives with their atypical sexuality, and conduct themselves in marriage and family life are the focus of this study. Particular attention is paid to two major paradoxes in their lives: the contradiction between their heterosexual public identity which places them comfortably in the mainstream of society and their stigmatized and forbidden homosexual desires and behavior; and the ethical issue of deceiving their wives as well as others to whom they are intimately related. Sixty men drawn from a non-clinical population presented their life stories in extended tape-recorded interviews. These men show great variations in their patterns of psychosexual development as well as in their accoMmodations to marriage and do not fit readily into simple categories. Most of them have found fulfillment and have no wish to change the pattern of their lives. In part, the study contrasts the more successful with the less successful marriages. A major conclusion is that some men are able to express with minimal conflict their homosexual and heterosexual impulses within the framework of a conventional marriage.
OMG, the bi's on this thread seem to have a terrible command of English. I've had to give up reading their posts on several occasions, which is a shame because I'm actually interested in what they have to say.
Well, the gay thing is just for occasional pleasure. If I can get stimulation from a woman, why go thru all the torment of being "gay"?
Death to all closeted scum!
[quote]OMG, the bi's on this thread seem to have a terrible command of English.
The bi's what?
Wow some of you are like theologians arguing about the number of angels who can fit on the head of the pin. You make all classifiers seem like retired fusspots. I suppose no group is hated more on datalounge than people say they are "against labels," which seen as cowardly and closeted. But you bring this on yourself by your welter of definitions and hair-splitting. I think the answer to all this is people can call themselves whatever they want, but other people can call them whatever they want: that nobody has a right to control what label others use of their sexuality, and that 99% of the difficulties surrounding sexuality stem from this desire to force people to accept their own categorization scheme.
[quote]other people can call them whatever they want
NOT THE "N" WORD
Bi dudes are hotter
I'm a gay guy who identifies as straight. I don't think what you do in bed makes you gay or straight, it's what you do with you hips, lips, hands and gestures. There are flaming gay and straight guys. Gays are immitatation women, and they can be straight or homosexual.
Just my opinion, so don't get your panties in a wad.
you confuse sexuality with gender issues of few trans women. Also, do you want to identify with someone who sticks his dick in filthy pussy?
R173, you sound retarded, maybe that should be your identification.
I am bi and identify myself as such. If I didn't, I would cut out 50% of potential partners. Even my bi friend who is married identifies himself as bi.
R173, you can't be "a gay guy who identifies as straight" unless you start eating vagina. You make no sense. You don't like yourself and you never will unless you accept that You. Are. Not. A. Straight. Man. No. Matter. How. Many. Times. You. Tell. Yourself. You. Are.
Pathetic is what you are, really. If you're straight, you should be posting to some sports forum, not a forum for men who like to suck each other's dicks.
I will admit that most gays are homosexuals, but not all of them. There are a sizable number of heterofags who live happily amongst us, just as there are happy straight homosexuals who don't tolerated being characterized as gays. Gays are swishy and that's fine too, but let's all carry our own baggage. If you're not a swish, you're not gay. Go to any Gay bar or parade and you'll see what I'm talking about. Hell, women suck cock, that doesn't make them gay. Being gay is being a pretend woman.
You're just as mental in R178 as you were in R173. Do you use that brain for a living by day? I can't see how.
r176, I'm bi too, and ID as such because it's just who I am.
I understand why people wouldn't want to ID as what they are (even if I don't agree with the reasons), but I don't get people actually thinking they are straight or gay when they are sexually attracted to both sides.
I'm in poor health and have no life, so the partner thing isn't an issue.
Bi dude here. Never dated a dude, only been with two
I am bi leaning more to gay side. I wish to find a Bi man so i can marry him. bcz it open the chances of doing an MMF if sometimes he wants a muff LOL.
But i would definately describe myself like proper house- wife cooking nice food and cleaning everything. LOL and be romantic in evening. sleeping in bed giving massage... etc.. I really hope i find some masculine fit bi guy. as i am so much into fitness/bodybuilding.
Bi but identify as straight. Only been with one dude once
Most bi dudes don't identify as bisexual. Many of them just say they are "open to dudes" or date without limits.
Today at 11:57 AM
When Will Men Be Okay Exploring Same-Sex Experiences?
By now, there’s an established celebrity “coming out” narrative. You sit down with a morning talk-show host or write a blog post saying that you’re in love with someone who shares your gender. Your true fans profess their continued devotion, LGBT rights groups and opinion writers applaud you, and while you’ll get some hate mail, most people are relieved to finally have you “figured out” — especially if your sexuality has been the subject of tabloid speculation.
This doesn't quite apply, however, when you reveal you’re dating a man but insist you’re still attracted to women. “Of course I still fancy girls,” said British diver Tom Daley last week. “But, I mean, right now I’m dating a guy and I couldn’t be happier.” There were some standard-issue homophobic reactions (which Buzzfeed and HuffPost obligingly collected), but Daley also elicited a more specific sort of disapproval from certain fans — biphobia, the Advocate called it. These were the people who assumed Daley was gay but unable to fully admit it, or unwilling to relinquish the privileges of being straight. He was called greedy and accused of trying to have it all. (Which is baffling. It’s not as if he’s dating six people at once.) By contrast, a few days before Daley’s announcement, actress Maria Bello published an op-ed revealing she was in love with a woman after years of dating (and marrying) men. While the headlines were conflicted — some said she’d come out as gay, other said she was bi — her son summed it up best: “Mom, love is love, whatever you are.” The idea of a woman being legitimately attracted to both men and other women was heartwarming rather than confusing.
When coming out as not-totally-heterosexual, the rules are different for men and women. Perhaps this is because we’ve had plenty of cultural cues — like chart-topping hit songs about girls kissing girls — and academic research to acclimate us to the idea of women’s fluid sexuality. A new British study found a fourfold increase over the past twenty years in the number of women who’ve gotten it on with another woman, and 15 percent of American women vs. only 8 percent of men say they’ve had a same-sex hookups. Research on women’s sexual desires (as opposed to their behavior) reveals the female libido to be, in the words of author Daniel Bergner, “omnivorous.” When researcher Meredith Chivers showed women clips of erotica — women with women, men with men, men with women, lone men or women masturbating, a pair of fornicating apes — everything made their vaginas pulse. There were some variations between straight women and lesbians, and among women of all sexual identities. But while women may not admit it to researchers or even acknowledge it to themselves, we’re basically turned on by everything.
“Women have a greater capacity for gender-fluid sexual expression than men do,” Chivers told Tracy Clark-Flory at Salon. Indeed, men’s physical responses track much more closely with what they report their sexual identity to be. Straight men are turned on by women and not men; gay men are turned on by men and not women. While there will always be those who argue that this is because of biological differences, there are strong cultural factors at play. Probably thanks to “lesbian until graduation” stereotypes and “I Kissed a Girl”-style odes to superficial experimentation, we’re more comfortable with women whose sexuality is harder to define. “Acceptance of bisexual women hinges in part on straight men's fetishization of it," says a friend of mine who has dated both men and women. "My male friends were endlessly curious about the dirty details of my same-sex relationship." In a Pew Research Center survey of LGBT Americans this summer, 33 percent said there was “a lot of social acceptance” of bisexual women; only 8 percent said the same of bisexual men.
My guess is that as taboos and strict sexual categories begin to fall away, men will be more willing to explore same-sex relationships and hookups — and be more willing to admit
for the sake of argument, let's just say there ARE bi guys but there is no way in hell they like men and women equally...just like noone likes vanilla and chocolate equally. usually, there's one they lean toward just a little bit more. if a guy is bi, he's only identifying as bi because he can't fully come out as gay.
I'm convinced I'm bisexual because I feel attracted to men. However I've never acted on it, don't think I could get into anal with guys. So yeah I identify as straight.
r193 = typical lying bisexual.
I believe bisexuality exists in men; I'm friends with a few guys who identify as bisexual and from knowing them well over several years I don't doubt they are capable of genuine sexual attraction to females and males. That said, unfortunately from my (firsthand) experience many bi men do seem to have hang ups that gay guys generally don't about relationships that make trying to date them a nightmare. The only bisexual guy I've known who wasn't a head case about relationships in some way is my best friend but he's very honest about knowing what his feelings are and is more self-aware than most.
[quote] However I've never acted on it, don't think I could get into anal with guys. So
Anal is far from a common denominator, honeybunch. You have any type of sex, even making out, with a guy and that makes you at least bi, got it, bunky?
The sexuality dichotomy is strong this week.
Monday, Olympic diver Tom Daley said he had been involved in a relationship with Dustin LeBlanc for some time. Most headlines read: “Tom Daley comes out as gay.”
Daley said he has also been involved in heterosexual relationships.
But he’s not completely straight, so he must be gay.
A day prior, actress Maria Bello said she is currently involved in a serious relationship with another woman. Headlines read: “Maria Bello is gay.”
In fact, one headline actually asserts that she is gay just before clarifying that Bello considers herself a “whatever.”
It’s safe to assume Bello uses “whatever” to mean she does not want to adhere to any particular label, which is perfectly reasonable.
But she’s not straight, so she must be gay.
Too often, the media and the masses are quick to dismiss bisexuality. People write it off as either an experimental or transitional phase or as a qualifier to cover up someone’s homosexuality.
Bisexuals are seen as overtly sexual or slutty, as wanting to sleep with everyone. But that makes as much sense as assuming gay men want to sleep with every man. It’s nonsense.
This dismissal and stigmatization of bisexuality is referred to as biphobia, and it works the same way as homophobia.
In two popular YouTube videos, “What Lesbians think about Bisexuals” and “What Gay Men think about Bisexuals,” an overwhelming majority of those interviewed said they would not date someone who identifies as bisexual. Many said bisexuals (of both genders) are liars and greedy.
And it isn’t as though media representation is doing them any favors. In one episode of The L Word, a television drama depicting lesbians, bisexuals and transgender people in their everyday lives, one character referred to a bisexual character as “a dirty bisexual” and prompted her to choose already between men and women.
That might explain why so many people think anyone married or in a committed relationship can’t be bisexual.
The one bisexual character on the sci-fi program Doctor Who is depicted as a textbook nymphomaniac, hitting on every person he meets.
Representation isn’t representation if it isn’t accurate.
Could it be that biphobia and the general aversion to any form of sexual ambiguity are reactions to fear of one’s own hidden fantasies?
Margaret Mead once said, “I think extreme heterosexuality is a perversion.” Could it be the case that extreme homosexuality as well as heterosexuality is a perversion? That maybe everyone is at least a little bit bisexual?
If that’s the case, it makes sense that people who identify as strictly straight or strictly gay would oppose bisexuality so vehemently.
Or maybe biphobia comes from the hegemonic masculinity so deeply ingrained in our society.
For instance, as a bisexual friend of mine pointed out, “If a man is bi, he is assumed to be gay … If a girl is bi, she is assumed to be straight and experimenting.”
In both cases, people assume bisexuals love men.
If that isn’t proof that bisexuality has been warped to fit the patriarchal mold, then what is? Does everything have to revolve around penis?
Bisexual men defy prescribed gender roles. From a misogynistic point of view, they are a threat to masculinity.
In reality, bisexual people have no more of a choice over their sexuality than do straight or gay people. Discriminating against them is pointless and harmful. It needs to stop.
[quote]Bisexuals are seen as overtly sexual or slutty, as wanting to sleep with everyone. But that makes as much sense as assuming gay men want to sleep with every man.
It's not that they're overly slutty. It's that they do not take same sex relationships seriously. I can't blame them entirely, because if I was equally attracted to men and women I'd make my heterosexual relationships the serious ones. It's easier. But it does not change the fact that gay men and women are still ranked lower than their opposite sex loves - as long as society ranks us lower, bisexuals will rank us lower as well! So to gay men and women I say: go ahead and fuck em, but don't date them! Your are expendable to bisexuals and you better believe that.
bi, identify as "open."
what does "open" mean?
If you slept with both genders or want both genders sexually then you are Bi. Case closed. Anyone can identify as anything. Words are just words. Actions are what matters. It's not possible to be "Straight" if you sleep with men.
Interesting replies and articles in this thread. Thank you.
Most bi guys seem to be gay and afraid to admit it. I don't doubt that bisexual men exist but I wouldn't be surprised if a large portion of them only say they're bi so they have opportunities to pass as straight.
R204, most bisexual males are not gay, but married to women (on whom they are often cheating with men), and they want to do everything in their power to cultivate a "heterosexual" image that's as far removed from anything gay as possible. Some of the most homophobic, self-hating and conflicted about same sex attraction individuals there are, are bisexual men.
Some bisexual men might be predominantly homosexual, but they still harbor the desire to marry a woman and conform to society's heteronormative dictates. There isn't a single bisexual male who places equal importance on relationships with men as they do with women, and the majority of bisexual men in relationships with other men, are only making time before they find the woman they want to marry.
Bisexual people and gay people only share one thing in common: same sex attraction. In everything else, we are very different and we should never, ever mix romantically, or be lumped together as the members of a "community". Bisexual people do not share the same struggles as us gay people, and their rights are never impinged in any way.
That's why they should look for their own spaces and build their own community, instead of taking advantage of gay people when it suits them, and throwing us to the curb whenever they can, or want to express their heterosexual side.
I'm not bisexual. I am a red-blooded, tobacco chewing, kick arse movie-leading, girlfriend-wielding, fully heterosexual male. And the press KNOWS it.
I have NEVER, against all evidence, watched gay porn or even heard the word gay or known of the existence of gay people, because I'm super macho sort of chap... Unless Lee Pace and Richard Armitage want a three way, in which case I get heterosexually sandwiched between those two faggots.
Why would anyone want to identify of bisexual or gay, when those things do not exist?
That's bullshit R205 and it's hypocritical biphobia on your part. I'm bisexual and I'm partnered to a man and neither of us cheated on our previous girlfriends/wives, or ex-boyfriends, and our relationship to each other is just as important as our relationships with our girlfriends or wives were, and we are legally married to each other since same gender marriage is legal in our state. Yes bisexuals have and still do fight for gay/LGBT rights and have for decades. Biphobia like what you posted is just as bad and just as hypocritical as homophobia is.
bi men exist. i work in health care and have met many men that get blow jobs or fuck men and then have totally "straight" lives. sure, some are confused and pressured to live a certain way but many of the men I have met (and slept with…I am gay) truly love sex with men and women. i dont see why some gays are so negative regarding this subject. there are straight men that LOVE women and pussy and will never try or want to be bicurious. THE KINSEY SCALE EXISTS, PEOPLE.
Truth: the vast majority of bi men see gay men=sex and women=relationships. That's just the way it is. The sooner we, as gay men, accept this the happier we will be. So have fun with bi guys but if you want a relationship steer clear, that way lies heartbreak.
Let's not forget R210 that the majority of gay men do not want a relationship or partnership and just want to have sex or be fuck buddies.
I enjoyed sex with women until I had sex with a man. Never jumped back to the other side and I never will.
I identify as bicurious.
I'm a heterophobic Bi man so i definitely do not identify as straight.
I'm bisexual and identify as such, so do the other bisexual men I know, and we're out.
You know how it is when you're driving down the road and you see an attractive person on the appropriate gender walking by and you just want to run them over, take them to your sound-proofed underground abattoir, and slowly vivisect them for your sexual pleasure?
Well if you are bisexual then you want to run them over before you can tell what gender they are.
I did a poll awhile back, we have a lot of bisexual guys here, almost more than gay men.
R205 There's a lot of truth to that. Yes, a lot of homophobic men are the ones with some homosexuality in them, some same-sex attraction. I noticed that too.
I had a friend who liked a bit of guy with his wife. He and her had me join them in bed a few times and we'd double fuck her. I could see and hear how much he enjoyed that. He also liked to have me bangin her and then put his head down between us and oralize us both with his tongue.
Two out of three dentist prefer Oralize
ha ha funny shit
Hot buff masculine bisexual dudes: Send me your number, bros!!!!
Bi dude, but only date chicks
What's your damage r225?
R225 is one of our resident porn addicts and a right wing shitstain. Poor ting is bumping years old porn threads.
So what have we learned here? Bi men date chicks but fuck guys?
I think you've got it!
At a time when gay rights have made stunning strides, and gays and lesbians have become far more willing to come out, the vast majority of bisexuals remains closeted, a Pew Research Center survey revealed last month.
Only 28 percent of bisexuals said most or all of the important people in their lives knew about their sexual orientation, compared to 71 percent of lesbians and 77 percent of gay men, Pew found. The numbers were especially small among bisexual men: Only 12 percent said they were out to that degree, compared to one-third of bisexual women who said the same.
Closeted bisexuals told the Los Angeles Times that they had avoided coming out because they didn’t want to deal with misconceptions that bisexuals were indecisive or incapable of monogamy — stereotypes that exist among straights, gays and lesbians alike.
The stereotypes make some reluctant to use the word, even after they come out. Laura McGinnis, communications director for the Trevor Project, an LGBT-youth suicide-prevention group, said she was 29 or 30 before she would readily share that she was bisexual or actively correct someone who thought otherwise.
“I hated the label because the assumption is that you’re sleeping around,” said McGinnis, now raising a child with her wife.
Such assumptions could make being out at work especially difficult: Only 11 percent of bisexual people polled by Pew said most of their closest co-workers knew about their sexual orientation, compared to 48 percent of gay men and 50 percent of lesbians.
Bisexuals were also less likely than gay men and lesbians to say their workplaces were accepting of them, Pew found. In a separate study published in the Journal of Bisexuality, half of bisexual people surveyed said their gay and straight co-workers misunderstood bisexuality.
“Bisexuals are thought to be confused, opportunistic and unable to make commitments — and those aren’t the kinds of things you want to see in an employee,” said Denise Penn, vice president of the American Institute of Bisexuality, a nonprofit that funds research.
LGBT community reacts
Inside the gay community, bisexual people are often seen as more privileged than gays and lesbians, able to duck discrimination by entering into straight relationships.
Far more bisexuals are in relationships with people of the opposite sex than the same sex, Pew found. They are less likely than gay men and lesbians to have weathered slurs or attacks, been rejected by friends or family or treated unfairly at work, its survey showed.
Yet researchers and activists say bisexuals face another set of frustrations, sometimes shunned by the gay and lesbian community and the straight world alike.
Bisexual women complain they are leered at by straight men and rejected by some lesbians as sexual “tourists” who will abandon them for men. Bisexual men, in turn, struggle to persuade men and women alike that they aren’t just gay men with one foot in the closet. Both are stereotyped as oversexed swingers who cannot be trusted.
“Women would say, ‘I don’t date your kind,’ ” said Mimi Hoang, who helped form bisexual groups in Los Angeles. Such reactions left her frustrated. “I had nothing against lesbians. I thought I could find camaraderie with people who were also sexual minorities.”
Bisexual activists lament the “B” is overlooked by LGBT organizations that provide little programming specifically for them. Pew found that bisexuals — especially men — were less likely to have belonged to such groups. More than half said they have only a few LGBT friends or none at all.
Researchers believe such isolation may have dire results. Some studies have found that bisexual people are at greater risk of emotional woes than people who are gay, lesbian or straight: Bisexual women are more likely to binge drink and suffer depression, a George Mason University study found.
A Kent State University study of bisexual women found that they were more likely than straight or lesbian women to harm themselves or endure suicidal thoughts. Other studies have also cited higher risks for bisexual men.
“I think these problems are coming from two places,” said Northwestern University human sexuality researcher Allen Rosenthal. “The absence of a bisexual community and the psychological stress of being in the closet.”
Activists say bisexuals have two closets — a straight and a gay one.
While a gay man might casually mention his husband, or a lesbian might out herself by talking about her girlfriend, bisexuals are often wrongly assumed to be straight or gay depending on whom they are with. Spelling out that they are bisexual can be misconstrued as rejecting a current partner or declaring themselves up for anything.
Not viewed as a phase
University of Utah research backs up the argument that bisexuality is not just a phase: Though 62 percent of gay men once identified as bisexual, nearly as many bisexual men — 56 percent — had once said they were gay, professor Lisa Diamond found. More women switched from calling themselves lesbian to calling themselves bisexual than vice versa.
Though surveys show bisexuals rival or exceed gays and lesbians in number, experts say there is still little known about bisexuals because studies often group them with gay men and lesbians.
While research lags, reality may already be changing: Younger people seem more at ease with bisexuality, adopting alternative labels such as “pansexual” or shrugging off labels completely, McGinnis said.
Northwestern University researcher Brian Mustanski said unlike earlier studies, his research showed bisexual youth were less likely to suffer mental disorders than gay and lesbian youth — a possible sign of growing acceptance of sexual fluidity.
But there’s still a long way to go, said Ellyn Ruthstrom, president of the Bisexual Resource Center in Boston.
In the middle of a pride parade, “I’ve had people shout out to me, ‘When are you going to come out?’ ” she said. “Excuse me? We’re marching in a pride parade. How out is that?
[quote] More than half said they have only a few LGBT friends or none at all.
This "result" does not compute with this result.
[quote]Though 62 percent of gay men once identified as bisexual, nearly as many bisexual men — 56 percent — had once said they were gay, professor Lisa Diamond found.
Why would they say they were gay if they had no gay friends? Answer: they didn't. They lied. I believe that 62 percent of gays once thought of themselves as bisexual. I don't believe 56 percent, I don't believe 5 percent of bisexuals ever said they were gay. The first result says it all: most bisexuals are gays who don't know any other gays yet.
Bi, just identity as "open"
off-grid sexual being
Bi dudes are hot
Bi men are liars. Drop the B.
I consider myself straight. I only seek and find women attractive irl, occasionaly a mans body is nice I like the porn, but I only like women. I think I just have an EXTREMELY high sex drive. in all honesty of all guys ive met im probably the straightest one I know, most males have very gay tendencies and seem to LOOOVE penises(while pretending to be grossed ut by them).
Few bisexual dudes identify as such. Most think of themselves as straight.
Bi men identify as straight because otherwise they know women won't want them. Same with bi women who identify as lesbians not to get kicked out of lesbians' bedrooms.
The surefire way to make a woman dry / sexually repulsed is the idea that the person in her bed enjoys sucking on a cock.
The bis know this, so they lie.
I'm a bi total top of 43. I find I get tons of twink tail when I travel by posing as straight. The young ones love it.
In relationships, I have always been honest. I am 60/40 guys to girls. It depends on the direction of the wind I guess.
So what else am I to think?
Sydney author Brooke Hemphill has written a book about her “year of living as a lesbian,” according to an article on the Daily Mail site.
You see, apparently she identified as heterosexual until she found herself indulging in sexual activities with a woman, and then another . . .
Now she is saying that if she had to apply a label to herself, it would be bisexual.
Yup, that sounds about right, speaking as one bisexual person to another.
But the title of her book is Lesbian for a Year, which may be making some lesbians for life somewhat uncomfortable, along with other members of the LGBT community, who “have been offended by the book’s title, suggesting it simplifies the often complex issue of sexuality by implying it’s a choice,” the Daily Mail article says.
Brooke says the book is about her sexual experiences and its aim ” is to open up a dialogue about tolerance and acceptance of different sexualities,” the article says.
She also says “it was not her intention to upset and did not want to detract from other’s sexual experiences, but instead hoped it would open up the discussion about the fluidity of sexuality,” according to the Daily Mail.
So, why isn’t the book called, say, Bisexual for a Year (and for Life)?
Because Lesbian for a Year is “a pretty catchy title,” she is quoted as saying.
So, I guess this just reinforces the incorrect stereotype: if a bisexual woman has a relationship with a woman, it’s a lesbian relationship. If she has a relationship with a man, it’s a heterosexual relationship.
So, when exactly is she a bisexual — when she has a threesome with a man and a woman?
But I digress. Regular readers know what I am saying: Once again, it seems that bisexual orientation is given short shrift for the sake of sexy click-bait (and book-selling) headlines.
Because real lesbians generally aren’t bisexuals, ya know . . .
Or maybe I got it all wrong. Maybe Brooke and I are hetero lesbian bisexuals.
I've never been with a guy because most men/ gay sex is not appealing to me sexually. And I'm attracted to way more women than I am to men. That being said, I would hook up with the guy if it was the right guy. I would hook up with a cute girl whether or not I was attracted to her personality (though , I'd prefer to be in love with her) Therefor I am mostly straight.
R244 just fuck off. No self-respecting gay guy would want you. So sick of bi men who cling to heterosexual privilege and patronise gay men/diss gay relationships and the gay experience.
R245, dearest....he's said he's never been with a guy.
Don't get your knickers in a twist!
[quote]I consider myself straight. I only seek and find women attractive irl, occasionaly a mans body is nice I like the porn, but I only like women. I think I just have an EXTREMELY high sex drive. in all honesty of all guys ive met im probably the straightest one I know, most males have very gay tendencies and seem to LOOOVE penises(while pretending to be grossed ut by them).
Teens who identify as bisexual are experiencing lower levels of social and family acceptance than their gay and lesbian peers, according to a new study.
The Human Rights Commission surveyed 10,030 LGBTQ teens about their happiness, support, drug and alcohol use, and their sense of belonging.
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In the survey 3,808 participants (38 percent) identified as bisexual and only 10 percent of those bisexual teens felt they "definitely fit in" with their communities.
Bisexual youth surveyed by the Human Rights Commission were reportedly less likely to be out to their families, friends, peers and communities. They also reported lower levels of happiness and were much less optimistic about achieving their ambitions.
The results of the survey suggest that people have a lack of knowledge of or do not understand the bisexual community.
"My parents aren't homophobic, but, when it comes to me, they aren't accepting at all," one teen told the Human Rights Commission. "They say I can't be bi. I have to be gay or straight."
Some bisexual teens also notice a lack of understanding of their peers.
"When I tell males about my sexuality, I get many remarks like 'that's so hot,' which I feel like fetishizes my sexual orientation," another teen told the Human Rights Commission.
The lack of understanding of the bisexual orientation even appears to exist within the LGBTQ (Lesbians, Gay, Bisexual, Transexual, Questioning/Queer) community.
"As a bisexual, I feel shunned by the gay and lesbian community," one teen confesses to the Human Rights Commission.
Although many teens suffer with people accepting their bisexuality, there are a lot of celebrities who are openly bisexual and trying to educate people on the orientation such as Meghan Fox, Angelina Jolie, Andy Dick, Drew Barrymore, Clive Davis and Billie Joe Armstrong.
"It's ingrained in our heads that it's bad, when it's not bad at all. It's a very beautiful thing," Billie Joe Armstrong told The Advocate when he came out to them in 1995.
The Human Rights Commission says educating yourself is the first step someone should take in order to become an ally for bisexual youth.
Openly bisexual males who are openly bisexual in all facets of their life identify as bisexual. Closeted bisexual or gay men identify as "straight". They are cowards.
You get a lot of closeted guys in that 35-55 age group because they came of age when AIDS was still a death sentence and gay men were stigmatized because of it. (And a million other things, but AIDS caused otherwise liberal-minded straights to get kind of crazy.)
So a lot of the ones who could went "straight" out of fear of dying and now that things are a little looser, they say they're "bi" because they are married to a woman and then eventually maybe they acknowledge that they're really gay.
There are men who develop emotional and sexual relations with both sexes, but they're pretty rare and while guys are usually pretty happy to hook up with a part-time lesbian, most straight women aren't going to have anything to do with a guy who sometimes likes cock.
Bi dude here who identified publicly as straight, only been with one dude
I have known two men whom I would classify as truly bisexual. Both identify as straight. If you are one of the ones who think bisexual men don't actually exist, you are mistaken. I would not recommend getting involved with a truly bisexual guy - it's too hard to compete with 'wife and kids', or simple social acceptability.
I'm only interested in bi dudes. More masculine, athletic, and "dudely.."
"Understanding Issues Facing Bisexual Americans," reveals striking disparities in poverty, employment, violence & health outcomes experienced by the bisexual community compared to their gay and lesbian peers and the heterosexual community.
The report, which was developed by the Movement Advancement Project, BiNet USA and the Bisexual Resource Center, and released last month, utilized academic and medical studies to inform its conclusions and suggestions for improving services focused on bisexuals.
The report notes, of the more than 9 million LGBT people in the United States, more than half identify as bisexual, making bisexuals the largest sector of the LGBT community.
"Despite comprising the largest population within the LGBT community, bisexual people are among the most invisible," said Ineke Mushovic, executive director of the Movement Advancement Project. "The failure to account for bisexual lives and experiences compounds a lack of social support and keeps bisexual people in the closet."
The report notes one reason bisexuals may face higher rates of poverty, unemployment, negative health outcomes and violence is because bisexual people face discrimination from within the LGBT community as well as from non-LGBT people.
Driving that point home is data from the 2008 General Social Survey, which found 25 percent of bisexual people have never told anyone they are bisexual, compared to just 4 percent of gay men and lesbians.
Heron Greenesmith, LGBT movement and policy analyst at the Movement Advancement Project, said while there was little that was surprising to her in the report much of the information is saddening.
"I think health is one of the most striking disparities, particularly around mental health," she said. "Bi folks have a high rate of suicidal ideation. One study we cited found bisexual folks were four times more likely to report attempted suicide than straight folks.
"A second study we quoted found that bi men were 6.3 times more likely to consider suicide in their lifetime than straight men."
She said a third study from the Journal of Adolescent Health that looked at teenagers found bi teens who reported suicidal thoughts didn't report a decrease in those thoughts when they aged into adulthood, unlike their straight peers.
"I thought the rates of intimate partner violence were very depressing, especially compared to lesbian women and straight women," Greenesmith said. "[By] almost 20 percentage points, more bi women have experienced rape, physical violence or stalking by an intimate partner."
She also said poverty differences were striking.
"It was saddening to find so many bi folks live in poverty compared to gay men and lesbian women, especially the public assistance part was surprising," she said.
According to the report, approximately 25 percent of bisexual men and 30 percent of bisexual women live in poverty, and bisexual women are more likely to depend on food stamps.
The report also highlights the increased harassment bisexuals who come out at work face in comparison to their gay and lesbian peers.
Faith Cheltenham, president of BiNet USA, shared her personal story in the report.
"Nearly every single time I've come out as a bisexual woman in the workplace, I've experienced severe sexual harassment," Cheltenham said. "Coworkers have made inappropriate jokes, made sexual advances, and shown me sexually graphic photos. I've had several jobs where I felt unsafe."
She said when she approached human resources about the harassment she received little support, if any.
"One told me that I brought harassment upon myself simply because
I was out," she said. "Another said that my experience didn't qualify as sexual harassment because I am bisexual."
The purpose of "Understanding Issues Facing Bisexual Americans" is to motivate change and improve the lives and experiences of bisexuals, according to the report.
The report includes recommendations in three areas: cultural competence, visibility and data collection.
Under cultural competence, the report suggests bi-specific trainings for service providers to help them feel more comfortable working with bisexual clients.
"Therapists must understand that the experiences of clients who identify as bisexual can be much different from the experiences of their lesbian and gay clients," the report says.
In addition to offering services geared towards bisexuals, organizations need to make sure those services are visible.
"More and more organizations are realizing that they need specific resources and programming for bisexual people," said Cheltenham. "Cultural competence and deliberate and thoughtful visibility will support the bisexual community and combat stigma and discrimination against bisexual people."
Finally, there is a dearth of studies focused specifically on the bisexual community, making research and accurate data collection a must.
The report notes when researching the LGBT community its important not to confuse sexual orientation and gender identity.
"Surveys that ask if a person identifies as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender risk conflating a person's gender identity with their sexual orientation. … Conflating gender identity and sexual orientation also fails to count transgender people who identify as bisexual, lesbian, gay or straight," the report pointed out.
So, apparently, bisexual people are the true victims of the LGBT community, even though they are usually comfortably invisible and shamelessly homophobic - not to mention that they will rapidly drop gay people if they get the chance to be accepted by heterosexuals.
I fully agree with the idea that bisexual people should be separate from gay people. Also, if they are a majority, let them work their own issues for themselves. Why should we gay people use our hard-earned rights to fight for people who have never done anything for us?
[quote]So, apparently, bisexual people are the true victims of the LGBT community, even though they are usually comfortably invisible and shamelessly homophobic - not to mention that they will rapidly drop gay people if they get the chance to be accepted by heterosexuals.
Very true for some. Absolutely. A very smart gay engineer needs to invent a giant ray gun and vaporize these people. That would make life much more enjoyable.
I have two bisexual male friends. One I have never heard identify himself as anything seems to like having sex with both sexes equally. He is now a widower. I've known of relationships he's had with both sexes.
The other guy, also married, and attracted to both sexes, told me one night he had never figured out what he was. He and his wife are separated and then he dated another woman for a long time. He was very broken up when she left him and tried to get her to take him back. I know nothing about any relationships he's had with men.
Yes and yes, dude
I am mostly straight. only certain guys get me going. In all honesty I find men pretty gross in both appearance and behavior. I also find most as in just about all, "straight" guys VERY gay. "oh im just fuckin around", yeah im sure you are behind closed doors as well.
No I don't identify as straight. I could if I wanted to, but it's too much like lying for my liking.
So far 2015 has been an interesting year in the media for guys who are attracted to guys but aren’t gay. (If you can follow that, which I barely can).
First, there was the debut of TLC’s “My Husband’s Not Gay,” a television special about four same-sex-attracted men who are married to women to reject “the homosexual lifestyle” (which might also explain their wardrobe choices). Then, this past Saturday, “SNL”‘s Pete Davidson tackled the issue of “high sexuality” in a Weekend Update. The topic of online security was broached, before veering into an unexpected discussion about how when Davidson gets high on marijuana, he gets same-sex attractions counter to his usual hetero inclination.
The term “high sexuality,” meaning straight-identifying men getting gay urges when stoned, comes from a Reddit thread started in December of last year, titled “Weed Makes Me Temporarily Gay, Anyone Else?” A user posed a question about his discovering same-sex attraction under the influence of pot (but never when sober) and asked if anyone else had that experience.
A helpful user replied: “My circle calls this Highsexualism.”
“You sir, are possibly a highsexual. If the parties involved are down AND on the same wavelength, whatever. When it has occurred it’s never been a big deal.”
High sexuality has been in the Urban Dictionary since 2009, but it’s probably no coincidence that as marijuana legalization continues, it’s now coming to the forefront in a more significant way. Will Colorado have to invest in high-sexuality education and acceptance programs? Has Amsterdam long known of this phenomenon but kept it a secret? Can you really be a “high sexual,” or are you just gay (or bi) and unwilling to embrace it without a little help from Mary Jane?
I'm a bi dude, went to prom with a girl in high school. I don't understand why bi bros get such a bad rap. We like dick just like you do. Cut us some slack.
[quote]I'm a bi dude, went to prom with a girl in high school.
I think this is the reason. "Bi dudes" project to the world a "heterosexuality" that isn't really there.
[quote]We like dick just like you do.
This is another reason. "Sucking dick" isn't what makes me gay or you bisexual. Homosexuality or bisexuality isn't a fetish or sex act. It's who you are as a person.
thank you so much, r269. There are millions of men who have sex with and/or attracted to men who never suck a penis.
I would have to say I'm a bisexual male who identifies as gay. I'm attracted to women periodically, and have had relationships with them in the past even while being "out" as gay for a very long time. I'm with my partner (male) for 14 years now, and I just call myself gay because it's easier and really does reflect the life that I lead.
I understand the need to politically acknowledge bisexuality, but I feel like, in my case, it's just a technicality. My sexuality is what it is, but the life I'm leading can really only be described as gay.
Im technically bi but I identify as gay. I will fuck women but not enter in a serious relationship with them. I just love the way pussy feels but that's it dont want to deal with annoying women. But with men i love dick and i have serious relationships with them.So since I prefer men and most likely will settle with one I, identify as gay so it makes things less complicated.
I will be 50 in a few months. Back in my teens/early 20's (early-late 1980s), I used to date both. I always dated girls in public and guys on the Q.T. - Finally, circa 1986, I just stopped pretending that I had interest in women sexually and I have been gay and proud ever since.
Bisexuals like 271 and 272 needlessly confuse the issue (and everyone else) strictly for their own selfish convenience.
[quote]Bisexuals like 271 and 272 needlessly confuse the issue (and everyone else) strictly for their own selfish convenience.
How is it confusing? Are you posting from a special needs home?
I've had anal sex with my best male friend, but consider myself straight.
My friend, who is SUPER gay, was married to a woman. Who he had sex with. NO ONE would ever call him straight. Ever. He is gay, gay, GAY.
I have another friend who is super straight, shows no interest in men, but did 'experiment' with me when we were in college. Once.
Neither of them are 'bisexual'. Some gay men are CAPABLE of sex with a woman. Some straight men are CAPABLE of sex with a man. Neither the gay man or the straight man may like it. But it is possible.
Or as they say on Chaturbate, "Labels Are For Canned Goods!" ;-)
[quote]Or as they say on Chaturbate, "Labels Are For Canned Goods!" ;-)
lol, that's cute.
[quote]My friend, who is SUPER gay, was married to a woman. Who he had sex with. NO ONE would ever call him straight. Ever. He is gay, gay, GAY.
No, he is technically bisexual. He had sex with a woman.
You can't be straight if you ride cock. END OF.
Just like you can't be a rapist if you haven't raped anyone. You can't be a murderer if you haven't murdered anyone.
I'm bi and identify as straight. It would be impossible for me to identify as gay, simply because I'm not. If I did, it would be conspicuously fake. (Just like a gay guy pretending to be straight.)
Why are people still clinging to the Kinsey scale? That's 1950s science that has been debunked.
How about if you are never in
The passive role? And never will be!
R280 if he didn't enjoy sex with a woman he isn't gay or bi. You're not even technically right.
You're a strange person r285. I trolldar-ed you in the god thread, and you've been popping up in interesting places.
A 70/30 bisexual. I prefer women, but I like very masculine buff athletic dudes, like football players. If I were to be with a dude, it was have to be like the hottest fitness model type. Otherwise, it is women. I identify publicly as straight, but I tell my bros that really fit jocks turn me on.
I'm more curious about gay-identified bisexuals, Kinsey 4 - 5 range.
they dated/married with men & fuck women on side.Many of them.
LOL, R290. Yeah, like that happens.
Gay men assume I am straight. I don't "ping" at all.
But I like men and have had sex with plenty.
I am also attracted to women and have had sex with them.
Maybe it's just because Grindr makes it easier, but I prefer sex with men.
Sometimes I get wicked crushed on straight buddies. We flirt a lot, do a lot of bro-ing. Sometimes it leads to sex and sometimes not. When it leads to sex, the outcome is rarely positive -the other guy gets freaked and it makes the relationship awkward either way since the logical next step would be to be boyfriends.
Stopped trying to figure out what to call myself.
I am bisexual and only tell people im straight. I prefer women and will settle with one so I don't want to freak her out. Im more picky with men and my attraction to them Is only sexually being in a relationship with a man is not appealing to me.
Those who consider themselves exclusively straight and those who consider themselves exclusively gay seem threatened by the prospect of people who are truly bisexual. Bisexuality can and does exist, and to different degrees. When I was younger I used to consider myself 80% straight/20% gay, today it's probably either 70/30 or 60/40, but I am attracted to both sexes. For instance, at a party in a large room I always find several women attractive, but maybe only also one or two men attractive. I always felt that both men and women find themselves attracted to certain people of the same sex, but they repress that urge or deny it.
Having sex with both genders is never threatening, a man who consistently has sex with both genders and "identifies" as straight definitely does though.
You nailed it. You and the guy have become super close. Almost like boyfriends. Then you add sex. But neither of you or just one of you is not ready to say "I love you. You're The One." And so it becomes a mess of awkward.
Truth is, if the other guy had said "you're The One" I'd have married him on the spot at least 3 different times.
Most gay guys are too gay for me-- too femme. Would love to find the right guy though.'
R275 It's confusing because saying that you are gay indicates to people that you are a HOMOSEXUAL!
Yeah, bisexuals are not gay.
[quote]I am bisexual and only tell people im straight. I prefer women and will settle with one so I don't want to freak her out. Im more picky with men and my attraction to them Is only sexually being in a relationship with a man is not appealing to me.
Exactly the same here.
r293/294/299 - as you say your interest in men is minor, similar to a fetish really, so what brings you to a site like datalounge?
Anyway, I have the same reaction but in reverse. I think bi guys are fine for hookups but I wouldn't get into a relationship with one. What puzzles me is that if I say that then I, as a gay man, am accused of being biphobic. However, when bisexuals say the same thing: men are for sex only, women are for sex/relatinships, they are just being true to their nature? Why the double standard? Why is it ok for bisexuals to say they only want to date women but not ok when gay guys say they are only interested in dating other gay men?
I'm gay, but whenever I'm with a bi guy, sometimes I worry about having to compete with women, especially if it ever gets serious between us.
Don't get caught up r301. You like sex with bi guys, just enjoy it. But you don't have a vagina, really these guys what a dude with a vagine. That's why they get caught with transexuals all the time.
Would they settle for a non-passable cross-dresser?
Im not gaaaaay!
Sure, R304, you only have sex with other "straight" guys.
[quote]Would they settle for a non-passable cross-dresser?
No they want feminine realness, in the bed especially. You have to be pretty. They get off on the fact that they use you, a dude, like you had a real vagina. I hope you get wet during sex, they like that
I'm bisexual. I do not identify as straight.
good for you dude
[quote]Interesting replies and articles in this thread. Thank you.
You're most very welcome.