A-List Gays

The so-called A list gays in my city are self important assholes who work in finance, law, TV etc.

They act like a pack of 'popular' high school girls.

A-ssholes

Tom Ford A List Gay David Geffen A List Gay Tim Cooke A List Gay Andy Cohen Desperate to be A List Gay

Has anyone noticed how the homophobic cunt playing at Webmistress on the DL is too stupid to understand the site, the posts, and what the DL is supposed to be.

Stuff it up your twat, bitch.

R1 But they are popular, right?

I have noticed there is a lot of hostility on DL towards popular, attractive gay guys. It's an anonymous forum so I wondered what that is. You don't see that in real life.

To me A-List gays are popular, hot, wealthy and masculine. Everyone knows who they are and want to be in their "in" group but most people can't be. They are always seen at the best parties, gallery openings and shows.

R4 I don't know what your message is doing here given the context of this thread. There is nothing homophobic about what I asked.

R1 if your city is not NYC, there are no A list gays there.

A-List gays are defined by money and power. Period.

They can be fat and ugly and old, but if they have money and power they are A-List.

[quote]They can be fat and ugly and old, but if they have money and power they are A-List.

Not really. In my group of friends (definitely A-List) fat ugly old rich gays are not included. They act more like groupies to be frank.

[quote] There are A-List gays everywhere. Every place has an A list. It's about status and prestige.

Looks are essential, but just being hot doesn't make you A-List. You also need the right career, education, connections etc. For example there is a REALLY hot Peruvian guy that hangs out in my group sometimes, but he works as a shop's assistant (in an Armani store though) so he's not really A-List, maybe B.

OP is D-list.

OP, R9 is the typical catty bitchy response you can expect here. Many DLers are jealous of good looking, successful gay men and wish to be like them, but they express their frustration through bitterness.

A list gays in my town tend to be a fun crowd. Yes, they are hot. And discerning. It drives the bitter plebs crazy and they love to bitch and gossip about them, but they lick their ass at the slightest opportunity.

R10 is also D-list, but also a douchenozzle. So silly.

What part of 'pointless bitchery' does R10 not understand I wonder? Apparently A-listers aren't especially bright.

I am embarrassed to admit this, but I have always wanted to be popular and part of the A list. In high school I wanted so badly to be accepted by the popular kids but I was never noticed. When I grew up and came out I thought I could work my way into the gay A list, but instead I am stuck in a mediocre life with mediocre job, average looks and and an unremarkable social life.

I look at them in restaurants and clubs and I swear they look right through me. I know it's shallow and superficial but I can't help it. I want to be popular and desired and admired too. I wish I had that shine.

Rich. Handsome. Big cock.

It's a myth, there's no such thing!

"A-List gays are defined by money and power. Period."

Since A-List people in general are defined that way, that would seem obvious.

As far as the old, ugly and fat goes, some of the people described in R3's post are certainly old (and Geffen is not all that attractive either), and I'm sure they are more A-list than anyone OP would know.

[quote] It's a myth, there's no such thing!

Of course there's an A List. It may not be politically correct but it's the truth.

Where I live (major city) the gay A Listers tend to work for the fashion industry, the entertainment industry, some in finance, one or two very successful fitness trainers who work with other A Listers, etc. And yes, you absolutely HAVE TO be hot to be considered A List here. Being wealthy is not enough if you are unattractive. Lots of pathetic rich guys around trying to buy attention and admiration. They ain't got "it".

I have clients who I refer to as "Power Gay Couples".

They're all sexy and attractive in their own ways, but hotness is not what makes them tick or interesting and certainly not powerful. (Yes, this is NYC.)

Being hot can put certain people at the top of their group, but most interesting, powerful and wealthy people are a little older (few achieve major things in their early twenties when they're most beautiful) and realize it is not the most interesting or important aspect of a person, as beauty fades but all the rest remains. And beauty can be purchased, or taken to dinner, or to a weekend in the Hamptons.

I don't think they're vaguely interested in this "A-List" classification, nor should they be. That's an entertainment-biz concept now spread out to those who fight for something nebulous because they are insecure about their status and who they are in the world.

The minute you stop trying to be like everyone else is when you're far more interesting. Confidence is attractive. Endless, insecure striving is not.

[quote]Where I live (major city) the gay A Listers tend to work for the fashion industry, the entertainment industry, some in finance, one or two very successful fitness trainers who work with other A Listers, etc. And yes, you absolutely HAVE TO be hot to be considered

They might be pretty to look at, but they aren't A List.

[quote]Being wealthy is not enough if you are unattractive.

Of course it is. Being rich is always enough to put you at the head of the pack.

But I'm talking about people with REAL wealth who could buy and sell your little burg's pretty boys. Not a realtor who had a good year.

You sound completely clueless.

R17 is naïve to say the least.

I have to agree: pretty boys working retail and hot fitness trainers are NOT A-Listers. They lack prestige and the power that comes with actual wealth and authority.

Conversely, there are younger men in NYC pursuing careers in the arts who have not achieved real fame (let alone material success) but because of their pedigree, education, and social connections, they might be considered A-List.

Money. Looks. And self-delusion. In that a degree of smugness and a sense of superiority are necessary to really create the varnish that these people are recognized for.

I associate A-gays more with LA. That city tends to be a zoo for all species of A-gay. Esp the Bear A-gays. An odious subset if there ever was one. The former twins who grow a beard and try to rock a more rugged, masculine look (regardless of how effeminate they are).

And that's another point. It isn't necessary for an A-gay to be masculine. I know a lot of them unfortunately (I make my money off the really wealthy ones...so I guess it's not that unfortunate) and most if not all are obviously gay.

[quote]Conversely, there are younger men in NYC pursuing careers in the arts who have not achieved real fame (let alone material success) but because of their pedigree, education, and social connections, they might be considered A-List.

Yeah, there's that group too. I call them the A- List.

They haven't established their own wealth or influence YET, but they are from families who have. They have last names and the backgrounds and connections that will open all the right doors, socially and professionally.

I wonder if R18's A List clients are famous.

[quote]The former twins who grow a beard and try to rock a more rugged, masculine look (regardless of how effeminate they are).

How can one be a former twin"? That makes no sense.

An A-list Gay is one who would never post on DL.

"How can one be a former twin"? That makes no sense."

Really? It was a typo, genius. It happens on this thing here called the internet.

Shocking, I know.

Should be "twink"

Well, that's a perfectly reasonable explanation, R27, but I think you can see how your post didn't make much sense before you clarified it.

And there's no need to get cunty. How would anyone know that was a typo?

My opinion of A list gays, OP? I would rather hang out with street trannies than with those assholes.

This is what comes to my mind when I think of A-list gays.

Very hot, wealthy, in creative professions, travelling the world, admired, popular, thousands and thousands of Instagram followers.

What I wouldn't give to spend a week in their (expensive) shoes.

I think this whole thread is hilarious and also pathetic. The idea that you would allow yourselves to think that people are better than you based on what they look like and what they have.

The only A-list is in your heads.

[quote]I think this whole thread is hilarious and also pathetic. The idea that you would allow yourselves to think that people are better than you based on what they look like and what they have.

There have always been popular and unpopular people. It's human nature.

OP here. Thank you for the replies.

[quote]there are younger men in NYC pursuing careers in the arts who have not achieved real fame (let alone material success) but because of their pedigree, education, and social connections, they might be considered A-List.

[quote]They haven't established their own wealth or influence YET, but they are from families who have. They have last names and the backgrounds and connections that will open all the right doors, socially and professionally.

True. many people aren't well off at the beginning of their careers but they can still be considered A-list if they have the right kind of job and they went to the right kind of school, are hot, well-connected etc. The right family definitely helps, as does living in the right neighborhood.

R30 that article is spot on. My friends and I are very much this type, and in fact I personally know several of the guys mentioned. Some of them are just typical wannabees though. Not A-list, but we'll hang out with them.

[quote]It isn't necessary for an A-gay to be masculine.

Yeah it is. You can't be A-list and effeminate. Masculinity = high status. People would laugh you off the A-list if you showed up with an effeminate date.

[quote]Esp the Bear A-gays. An odious subset if there ever was one. The former twins who grow a beard and try to rock a more rugged, masculine look (regardless of how effeminate they are).

Oh man don't get me started on the ugly queeny guys who grow a beard and call themselves 'muscle bears'. I actually opened a thread on that subject a while ago but people ragged on me like hyenas out for blood, so I'm not gonna start that conversation again.

Also I don't think bears are A-list to be honest. Too gross and generally fat, plus the hygiene thing. I think they are just a sexual fetish group. We laugh at them.

[quote]I have clients who I refer to as "Power Gay Couples".

Yeah I have heard "Power Gay" used instead of A-list on occasion. But I think it's mostly the ugly ones that call themselves that.

33 posts and nobody has brought up that A-List: New York abomination?

How Do I know what my level is? Serious question. I gave a decent job, 45 years old, lookl younger, not fat, receding hairline but told am cute.

Its' funny the ones I know in my city, all seem miserable. They're in toxic relationships, cheat on each other, have drug and alcohol problems. Maybe because these guys are now older like myself and I would guess aging as an A Lister is twice as hard?

R35, once you stop caring you will probably feel a whole lot better about yourself.

I am F-list.

I will stay home watching netflix & drive my 10 year old car & wear the same clothes I bought 10 years ago.. yep. F...List... but I do have a good education and job

My BF is a lawyer ... who also has similar priorities to me outside of work. We are boring and really couldn't care less about any social pecking order of gay men. I don't even know why that should affect me in any way.

The money & private planes would be nice, no shit... but the cunty little cliques of dumb people with minimal education and vapidity? No thanks. I think I'd stab myself in the eye if I hung out with them.

OP you sound like you're 25. Is that right?

I mean, nobody could possibly care about this shit past that age (one would hope).

And you're little factor analysis of "femininity" and "beards on queeny guys" is SO immature. God, if you remain this superficial for life, you're in for some challenges.

I'm sure NPH and Burtka would be considered A-list gays.

Also, how much do race and gender play a factor? Can a hot, rich black gay guy be considered A-list or is it something that's generally only reserved for white gay men? And what about a rich, gorgeous gay woman?

R31 is the only voice of reason here.

Power or A List gays do exist can assure you; at least in the major US metropolitan areas such as New York, South Florida, Los Angeles, San Francisco etc.... These men simply are the gay counterparts of powerful and influential straight men.

NPH and DP obviously. Anderson Cooper, Mitchell Gold & Bob Williams, David Geffen, Chris Hughes, Tim Cook and so forth are some of the more famous names, but there are more, many more.

Much depends upon what "A-List" demographic you are speaking about. You have powerful names in say Washington DC Beltway, the fashion and entertainment industry, finance, politics, law, medicine, and so forth.

When Apple's Tim Cook along with several other power gays called out Indiana on their recent religious exemption law you saw a good cross section of that group.

Don't know why the concept of "power gays" or "A-List gays" bothers anyone. Males especially white/European decent have run this country and or been connected with power and status since it was founded. It just so happens now many of them can be out, proud and still maintain their wealth and status.

All this being said the bar does seem rather low in some instances. Those "Million Dollar Listing" gays seemed to have reached A-List status. So has Lance Bass in a way.

My therapist once told me, without a hint of irony, that I was one of the 100 A-gays -- in Boise, Idaho.

No one appearing on a reality show can be A List.

Sorry. Just... no. Never.

No way reality TV gays can be A-List. Gross.

Of that A List NYC reality show I guess maaaaaaaybe Reichen and his boyfriend would qualify on account of them being insanely hot and quite wealthy/successful. The rest, no way. That megafemme photographer was campy beyond words.

Look at the Gio Benitez thread for a glimpse into the life of the A-Gays. He only hangs out with hot guys with hot careers making lots of money, doing the damn thing!

There's no such thing as this silly A List. This is worse than high school if you even entertain this idea.

Will agree with you a gay "A-List" is silly but sadly that is how American society seems to work. We are always placing people on pedestals or whatever because of beauty, abilities or other attributes. High school? Yes, but there you are.

Personally prefer the "power gay" set as more worthy. That is judges, doctors, Wall Street, entrepreneurs, technology and so forth. At least they have done and or continue to do something. That jumped up real estate brokers including former porn star are now A-List, mostly because of their behavior, is just too bad.

To me it seems many of the A-list gays are there merely because they are *out*. Otherwise they are pretty ordinary in their career/profession.

This thread, and the OP's previous disaster, should price conclusively that the A-List is a booby prize. When no one knows your identity, you are unable to gain any traction. In fact, he appears to be a deluded ass. All that money and hotness and status has done nothing to make him feel the slightest bit worthwhile.

[quote]don't get me started on the ugly queeny guys who grow a beard and call themselves 'muscle bears'. I actually opened a thread on that subject a while ago but people ragged on me like hyenas out for blood

R33 certainly considers himself A-List. He's started two of the most delusional, unintentionally funny threads of recent memory.

The first ("Beards: the ultimate camouflage...") complained that plain guys were growing beards and were stealing compliments and attention that rightfully belonged to him.

The second asked if you hit on guys outside your league. This is a grievous sin as all the fugs should keep to themselves. R33 claimed he was so stunning that he was instantly surrounded by ugly guys every time he stepped out. As he's far superior, he feels no obligation to even be polite when rebuffing underlings who dare to approach him.

These threads were hilarious! Please keep us entertained by the travails of your A-list life, you gorgeous thing, you.

Dear 45, If you consider those guys A list, your definition of word is pretty low. Do you consider indoor plumbing and electricity the signs of an A list resident?

The fact that it's even being discussed...my God. What difference does it make, really?

[quote]The fact that it's even being discussed...my God. What difference does it make, really?

Oh, OK. Let's all go back to threads that really make a difference then, like the "Pet Farts" thread.

I am the poster at R35. I went to a club last night and ended up crying myself to sleep. I desperately want to be great, attractive and admired. Why can't I be like them ?

I think I'd rather talk about pet farts r53, than to talk about a "them" vs "us" split in our community based on income and social status.

R31 makes sense. One of the few posters on all of DL who does.

What's this bullshit about how status doesn't exist or doesn't matter?? Do you think you are in the Miss America interview portion of the competition? OF COURSE STATUS MATTERS. How can people be either so oblivious or so disingenuous?

The only people who claim doesn't exist are low-status people, but this is a stupid and futile position. Just cause you don't have it doesn't mean you can pretend it doesn't exist. It's like poor people saying there is no such thing as wealth in order to feel better.

Next they will claim we are all beautiful where it counts. For fuck's sake.

Does the A in A list stand for Anus?

OP has no idea there is another way to live

WHET A List Gays?

I first heard the term "the A Gays" in Tales of the City. Was anyone using it anywhere besides SF first?

The idea of rating or classifying people is odious.

We don't have an agreed-upon caste system, certainly not in a democracy.

A list just means well known, successful, admired, powerful, etc. Not morally superior or inherently better or even happier.