TOPS Aren't GAY

We're frauds until you got you legs in the air taking a good pounding, then you're loving us.

Total tops are fucking boring, not to mention selfish. Go fuck a woman then, if you're not interested in dick. I wish the submissive types didn't even exist, just so that the asshole total tops wouldn't have anyone to take advantage of.

Middle eastern and Arabs don't consider themselves gay if they only fuck. Indian tops too. My humble experience.

If "tops" are frauds then the majority of gay men are useless. Let's be honest, it would be a bunch of gay men buying double sided dildos...

Nope...nothin' gay about tops AT ALL!

Sorry if you put your dick in a poopy butthole, you're gay.

Baloney.

If they say they're gay, and are out, and want a relationship where they kiss but just don't like to bottom, I'd say they're gay.

Some guys are just better at topping and get off on it more emotionally. I'm versatile but have always preferred topping. No idea why, but even when I was a baby gay, I enjoyed humping on top to get off, even more than jerking off by hand.

Anyone who has sex with their own sex, whether it's top or bottom is G-A-Y. There's no excuse, no in-between. They are HOMOSEXUAL. Let us not try to alter the truth to suit the twisted minds of sociopaths. It's FACT: They are QUEER, whether they stick in in the butt or take it in the butt. THEY ARE QUEER

Funny, we're hearing from Tops ... and total closet-case homophobes.

just sayin'

"TOPS Aren't GAY"

That's what I keep telling Deb.

LOL, I'm a total top and gayer than a Charlie's Angels lunchbox

The interesting thing I've found is that the curious straight guys are usually more interested in bottoming than topping. They "top" with women, so to speak, so for a lot of them, the thing they want to experience is the submissive side to it.

A lot of dudes think this.

Guys with guys = gay. They can call it a kumquat, but that won't make it so.

r12, no straight male is THAT "curious." It's called "latent homosexual."

I am going to get roasted for this, but I only hook up with guys who top and get their dick sucked but won't reciprocate. If they want to reciprocate then I don't want them. It makes them more manly and sexy in my opinion.

Yeah, and it's probably a little self loathing, but hey... at least I admit to it. And if they call me awful names while they're doing me, turns me on even more.

r16, there are tons of dudes like you. Just like at Craigslist, Adam4Adam, or Jock'd, which have countless guys look for non-reciprocating Alpha Male total tops. I even see ads saying that they are looking for dudes who never touch another dude's penis.

Glad not to be you, pitiful, pathetic mental case R16.

[quote]I was talking late one night over drinks with a straight co-worker - dishing about a 'Bi' guy in our office.

This. Never. Happened.

What "straight" guy uses the term "total top"? Were those his words, OP?

The term for guys who only receive oral and are anal tops is "trade tops." By definition, they don't kiss, suck, rim, or bottom. There are WAY too many of them in gay porn.

By that logic, all men who have sex with women are STRAIGHT.

Why would you be interested in someone who doesn't reciprocate and isn't into you? Seems weird to me.

I'm with R18.

This thread is filled with head cases, closet cases and people whose primary exposure to gay sex is via porn.

"Dishing?" Dude?????

I'm versatile IRL but sometimes will tell a guy on A4A or Grindr that I am a "total top" and only looking for "no recip" head or fuck.

It's a quick fantasy, being the total dominant guy and being worshiped.

And yeah, sometimes the guy is not someone I'm that attracted to, but if he'll suck my dick, it's better than jerking off.

You see this belief in a lot of patriarchal cultures, that anyone who tops is "a man" and isn't gay.

It's not having sex with other men that matters to these people, it's assuming the submissive/feminine/bottom role. They believe a man who does that is committing a crime against male privilege, which is why in those cultures the bottoms get all the abuse - including forced sex changes. That mindset is SO fucked up, but it's still common.

OP, you can be gay and in denial about it. Ponder that.

Most "total tops" (won't suck a dick, etc) are psycho in my experience.

A straight man could “top” a woman (in more ways than one). If he chooses to top a man instead, that act is gay, whatever his orientation is.

R7 makes sense.

And is turning me on.

I tried being vers but I just love fucking ass too much. I'm GAY as can be and won't ever fuck a woman. But give me a nice hot man ass anyday.

I like to kiss and cuddle too so fuckoff with your "tops are frauds" BS. My bottom husband loves being fucked and he isn't a prissy queen, he just gets off on having cock in his ass.

Most total forever TOPS are bisexual, not gay. In fact, most of them identify as straight, although their involvement with men undermines their assertions.

R32 if you enjoy sticking your cock into a man's ass you're probably gay, unless you equally enjoy pussy. Then you're bi.

I just bought some tops at Macy's. Nothing looks gay about them, and they fit nice!

Seriously...? Are any of the people responding to this thread gay. Most of the responses sound like some hypothetical discussion conducted by delusional fag hags trying to convert their gay friend with whom they are in love. Or is this thread merely a time warp from the 1950s.

Being a top or bottom is irrelevant to whether you have a primarily same sex attraction.

If the preference for sexual act defined homosexuality, or heterosexuality for that matter, then a virgin could not define his sexuality until after engaging in all forms of sexual congress. It suggests that a man whose only had sex with women couldn't possibly be gay.

If what particular sexual act in which you engage defines whether you're gay, then conversion therapy could be construed as working if the person denies attraction in favor of heterosexual relationships - something we all generally agree is ludicrous.

Being gay is not about what you do, but with whom you desire to do it, what you find sexually desirable, what causes arousal - all else being equal, would you rather do something with the same or opposite gender.

Funny how many perceive the 'top' as the masculine partner. Hell, even in gay porn many performers hold out on bottoming until they have not else to give.

I'm a top and when I hook up with a hot bottom, it's his ass I'm after--not his dick. No offense, but I don't give a shit about that thing. Keep it out of the way and in a jockstrap, preferably.

I wouldn't have dick to do with R37.

I think R37 is just an excerpt from a particularly boring Nifty story.

[quote]Keep it out of the way and in a jockstrap, preferably.

I've noticed that in some porn.

It's okay, R38. Lucky for me, demand outstrips supply for hung tops.

Yeah, I also see a lot of ads from guys that say they are looking for 100 percent total tops who do not ever touch a penis. A lot of bottoms do not want tops to touch their penis.

a lot of thug tops will tell ya, "keep your dick away from me when I'm with ya!'

What R35 said. I knew I was gay when I was eight or nine. I didn't even know what sex was and I certainly didn't understand what happened between the sheets. I did know that big masculine men on the TV made me feel all weak and tingly and I was going to marry a boy when I got older.

Whoever thought up the term hetro and homo sexual did us all a disservice.

Plenty of straight men enjoy getting pegged, but they'd never claim to be gay.

r45, not by men.

I don't consider men who are only interested in particular body parts or acts (e.g. only gives/receives head, only interested in sticking his dick in any hole, etc.) to be gay. I believe they have a certain fetish, not a homosexual orientation. I don't have an interest in such men myself. Similarly, I tend to avoid bisexual men, as many of them seem to fall into these categories. Are there exceptions? Sure. But as a rule I don't feel compatible with them.

r47, how about if a dude only likes butt, male or female? And he might like you as a person, but sexually, all he cares about is your butt?

To be fair everything the poster described is a pretty near match to Michelle Bachmann's sex life, and I'm pretty sure she's not gay.

r48, I'm not talking about guys for whom a body part is their 'thing'. There are tons of butt/boobs guys, I'm a face/smile guy myself, everyone has their 'thing' that draws their attention. But if this hypothetical guy is ONLY interested in butts? No other part of a man's body? Yeah, I consider that a fetish. No different really to those 'size queens' who care nothing about the man except his penis.

interesting, r50. there are all types out there.

Guys in Greece think this way, too: if they just top, they're not gay. Go figure.

Totally agree with you, R22.

In a biography on Onassis, when he was a young man he seduced a male prison guard in order to have his father released from jail.

r3 I also know this to be true with Hispanics.

I'm a bi woman and I've ALWAYS thought what the OP said was true (but for women it's reversed, the "bottoms" aren't always gay).

I don't really care who goes down on me as long as they're attractive. But I've encountered numerous straight women who claim they're just "curious". I don't think you can enjoy going down on another woman and just write that off as curious.

Some men will put their dicks into anything with a hole, so does fucking an apple pie make a man gay, absolutely not. That pie, however, is clearly a closet case.

Most of the world thinks this way, including Eastern Europe, the Middle East, much of Latin American, and Africa. Even in the West, many men still think this way.

Is that what you are, R43 R47 R48 et al, a "thug" top?

r56, straight guys aren't going to put their dicks in a guy when they could put it in a woman.

[quote]R42

I laugh when I see the ads from guys who claim they're '100% top' and then you notice half of their photos are of their ass.

With a partner,Im totally flexible. But with a trick,I prefer to be submissive. And I love the ones who wont kiss or suck dick or get fucked,total turn on.

I'm always baffled by the rentboy ads where they emphasize TOP in their narrative descriptions, but when you scroll down to look at their stats, they've selected "versatile." I wonder if they do that just to get the people who use searches and want to select for versatile, hoping to get them to look.

Hung top here again. There is no bigger turn on for me than a guy who is 100% bottom. I don't even think I could date a vers guy. Full-blown bottoms are the ones for me.

[quote]I was talking late one night over drinks with a straight co-worker - dishing about a 'Bi' guy in our office. "Oh, he's a total Top," said my friend.

And that's where I stopped reading: straight men NEVER talk about "tops" and "bottoms."

Try harder next time to get the details right.

I assumed the straight co-worker was female, and a fag hag.

If you are participating in a same-sex act then you can call it anything you like but one thing it isn't is heterosexual. Doesn't matter if you're top or bottom, if you're getting off, in any manner, with someone of the same sex you're not straight. Yes, even if it's in jail. Even if you call yourself straight. Even if you're married. You're not straight. The fantasy of the "straight" guy fucking you is *just* a fantasy OP. Straight guys don't top. It's a myth.

If the co-worker were female the OP would probably have specified--but in any case, even faghags don't really talk about tops and bottoms.

This never happened.

Believe what you want.

HE said it.

HE 'dishes' ... A lot.

HE is a married, straight guy and is obsessed with the gay sex.

HE is the confidant of the aforementioned "Top".

HE told me (a 'versatile' gay man) that our Bi/Top co-worker friend will only receive blowjobs and fuck. No kissing, definitely no sucking (Bi's own words re cocksucking: "I'm not THAT gay").

We're not trying to ply the argument of 'straight men who just happen to have sex with other men' BS - we just both thought "That just doesn't seem very gay" He doesn't seem to have an attraction to men - he just likes to get his dick sucked - and gets off on dominating another man by fucking him. Maybe some of you call that "attraction". We call it selfish and narcissistic.

R47 hit it right on the head by calling it a fetish. I couldn't agree more.

Guys who suck cock - and make love with other men - are GAY. Guys who only want their cocks sucked - or to stick it into the nearest tight hole ... are, well, GUYS.

Oh, and the "This" that "Never Happened" was a CONVERSATION. I'm so glad some of you are ALL OVER finding out the Truth and keeping the DL safe from lies and deception. Keep up the important work!

Whatevs OP.

Not buying it.

I am a total top, and I am GAY, GAY, GAY!

THEN my straight, very butch, very het, married-to-a-woman male co-worker flounced over to the magazine rack, pulled out an old copy of US, and squealed, "OOOH! Can you BELIEVE Miss Beyoncé got away with wearing THAT to the Golden Globes!? MMMmmm... MUSTARD is just NOT Miss Thang's color!" and he dramatically snapped his fingers in the air twice in a zigzag!

And yet he's very straight and butch!!!

Believe it or NOT!

Actually, not far from the truth, R71. He can be very "camp" (his term - he's British).

We laugh at work because the rest of us often say that he's the gayest one in the office.

But alas - he is straight, and married to a very hot woman.

Nothing to buy, R69. This was our discussion. Deflect all you want.

(I guess you'd never 'believe' what my straight friend has to say about fisting)(but maybe that's another thread)

I can see what OP is saying. It's like his co-worker is using men as human flashlights. You would never say that someone who uses sex toys is "attracted" to them. The guy is probably fantasizing about women the whole time.

This is a thread for pre-Stonewall gays.

The problem with your post OP is that you use this alleged person, through second-hand information (no less) to come to the conclusion tops aren't gay.

You sort of back of of this in your later posts, but you're still confusing what people say with what people do and what their attractions really are.

Gay men have been saying they're straight and bi for quite some time and most of us know that they lie, or have issues, or just don't want to publicly identify as gay.

And most people that I know don't talk about what they really do in the bedroom to office-workers, and given that you and his straight office-worker are so interested in his sexuality, it's certainly plausible he has an image of himself that he wants to project, even if it's to the other women in the office he might want to bang. A guy who will fuck anything may in fact be bisexual, not "bi" as you say.

The bottom line, pardon the pun, is that you don't know what gives him an erection and who he's attracted to. He does. If he identifies as bi, who are you to question him? If he identifies as straight, then he's straight and has nothing to do with gay men.

And if you weren't so busy screaming in ALL CAPS that TOPS aren't GAY, you might realize how ridiculous you're trying to make a sweeping argument based on hearsay about an office worker no one can verify. Even you.

R73, but people aren't flashlights

R69 the This never happened troll is the most tedious and tiresome of trolls.

I love how the Type A's here have this compulsion for 'verifying' anecdotal people or circumstances. On an anonymous message board.

OP related a conversation he had with a co-worker about another co-worker. It led to a conclusion they had about a certain kind of gay man. He concluded by making a sweeping generalization - that certainly was precocious and bratty. This is, after all, the Datalounge.

Some of the discussion (regarding the bratty generalization) was interesting, some of it humorous. But the tedious "This Never Happened" trolls - and those wanting to verify "alleged" co-workers - have once again turned this, like practically every other DL thread, into a complete and total bore.

Sad, really.

I think R73 meant "fleshlights".

r78 your sadness is your own.

Most of us are happy to read about things that never happened. I miss Danny and his suitcase and wish he had lived on.

It's the generalization from an example that makes the alleged aspects of this more ridiculous, and he's appropriately slammed on it.

A thread about a guy who got mad at his trick for wanting a fresh towel? Bring it on.

R80, did you even read R78?

Office life has gotten so seamy.

Turkey meatballs!!!!!!!

I just need to reinforce the fact that both the OP and his friend are fucking idiots.

How ridiculous. I'm top and I'm definitely gay. Oh and I kiss too.

^ I'm A top

I'm THE top.

What people say and what they think are two very different things. What people say is what they want other people to believe, especially when discussing activities or preferences that may attract disapproval.

In other words, NOBODY on this Earth tells their co-workers the truth about their sex lives.

OP, gay men enjoy getting blown as much as straight men do, but how many "gay men" do you know who enjoy having women perform fellatio on them?

Well, R89, as we all know - it's because women don't know how to give a decent blowjob.

He's right.

Actually, he is.

Ha - I'm a top, and for me good sex is when I get to suck him off and then fuck him senseless. Especially if he's well built and masculine yet loves getting fucked. That combo of masculine/bottom is an intense turn on for me.

OP can call me a fraud, I don't give a fuck. Because at 6'3" and a big dick to match, being a top gets me some amazingly hot guys who'd otherwise be out of my league.

R93 sounds like the perfect top. Fuck that "I'm not gonna suck YOUR dick, you POS" shit.

You don't fit the description, R94, that OP is talking about.

He's talking about the Bisexual "Top" who will not reciprocate in any way: won't suck, won't take it - won't even kiss.

[quote]He's talking about the Bisexual "Top" who will not reciprocate in any way: won't suck, won't take it - won't even kiss.

Death to these worthless sacks.

I meant R93 - You don't fit the description, R93, that OP was talking about.

R93 is the kind of top that all tops should be, in my opinion. I am the same way. What a boring sexual partner the total top is. It makes you wonder if he's even enjoying being with you. He's basically showing no interest in you.

I occasionally have sex with a total top who won't kiss, won't touch my dick, only wants me to suck his huge guido dick (which I'm happy to do) and try to fuck me (which I would let him do if his dick weren't so big). I'm thinking I should just stop seeing him, but what good would it do? It's not like these guys can be taught a lesson. The problem is there are always the pathetic subs, total bottoms out there who for some reason love total tops.

I feel the same way about guys who claim to be foot fetishists but upon questioning they reveal that they only like to play the dominant role--rub their foot on someone's face, etc. They don't actually care about the feet of other guys. It feels fraudulent to me. Like, even the use of their own foot is incidental. It could be any body part, as long as they're dominating someone else with it. Fucking assholes.

Most tops are just fraidy cats about HIV who are too cheap to get Truvada.

Fucking assholes by name, fucking assholes by nature.

I'd date R93

[quote]being a top gets me some amazingly hot guys who'd otherwise be out of my league.

I hear ya. I'm tall, blessed with big dick, but otherwise just average looking. But when a hot guy learns Ive never been fucked and have no desire to get fucked, they are all over me.

TOPS aren't GAY... Then what the fuck would you call them? Gay adjacent?

they are dudes who bang dudes

wow

Total tops rock, bro!

I think it makes them sexual because, you know, we're sexual beings. It might be nice if we stopped trying to label everything we do and stopped trying to fit everyone into some mold. Love and have sex with whoever you want - it's no one's fucking business.

what is an "oral top?"

some guys are heteroaffectives, but can have sex atraction to other guys. A woman is the best combo for them. In other hand, some guys are homoaffectives (or gay), but can enjoy a woman's body.

Tops aren't gay and bottoms are all femme. Let's generalize, shall we?

all TOPs(especial TOTAL TOP)are Bisexual and they're fucking everything(male,female,trans...).Creepy.

Why?

R111, men like that are incredibly rare and incredibly HOT!!!

But they're not relationship material. Best to walk away after you fuck them, because it's not like they'll notice that you're gone.

Six Degrees of Gaiety

R111, I'm a top and I'm not bisexual

No, bottoms aren't gay.

They're too manly, seriously, could you imagine any other guy willing to take something up his arse without shrieking like a little girl?

Actually, I have little respect for total tops, they are sissies that just can't take it.

I admire them

I don't there are that many "TOTAL TOPS" in real life.

When people say it, it's just part of the fantasy. I've described myself as such quite a few times, and it's completely untrue (I guess I'm versatile, but if I had to pick one or the other forever, I would go with bottoming).

r7 you may prefer topping but I prefer Jello pudding!

I have met many total tops, a huge percentage of them bisexual or thuggish dudes who occasionally "get down with dudes." I think it is much more prevalent among black, Arab, and Latin males.

Italians can be included in that group r121.

You can ever suck penis and not be gay, dude

No way bro

In most the world, they are not.

c

Are total tops bisexual?

All these years I was sure I was gay. What a fool I've been.

If they have sex with a man then they're bisexual, or even gay.

They're not Gay and they're fuck everything.

you should have asked if he ever got his dick sucked by a guy, what would make him the expert?

I personally think OP is a fraud.

OP is either a troll, or just utterly stupid.

A lot people agree with Op

Dude, I will never bottom or suck dick. But I will let a hot dude blow me.

v

oh really

I'm a top and I definitely love fucking a guy and cumming inside him. The combo of masculine and bottom turns me on like crazy. Broad shoulders, facial scruff, muscles, and a hungry & grateful hole -- gets me ROCK HARD every time.

how many more milkions of ways can the same question be asked?

Intriguing

They are bi

I'm a top Kinsey 6

Gay guys want all of their sexual relations to be with males, and plenty of them need to top males.

There's a big difference between wanting to top a male and wanting to top a female.

NOT gay if he pretends the bottom is a girl.

Str8 likes to be penetrated too..by girls with strap ons

BUT str8 generally don't suck dicks

Oh my

Guys are just not that complicated sexually sometimes. Getting a blow job from another dude in and of itself doesn't make you gay or even bi. There are clearly those that are but it's also just true ( esp throw in some booze or pot) offered a blow job they will go for it. That's not just a myth.

R146 is the queen who's been resurrecting all these presenting and macho threads tonight.

A lot of bi guys I've ever known make up all of these rules about what they will do and won't do in order for them not to feel gay.

It's mental gymnastics - they still get off fucking men but for some reason they think they can compartmentalize it by saying - oh, I don't suck dick or I don't kiss.

Well then - that resolves everything. Not.

There problem is r148 their is the concept of hetroflexible guys. It's not a myth they do exist. Yeah sure some are just in denial but there are those that will fuck pretty much anything in the right situation. It's generally much easier to get sex with a dude than a women on random hook ups so they will go there.

TOPS Aren't HUMAN

This thread is painfully dumb.

This again?

Lolll

Has Datalounge done a "Merkel" and rolled out the red carpet for Sociopaths this week. Because this thread and the "guidette" thread are mind boggling. Just remember those of you who want to treat gay men with disrespect and derision when having sex run the risk of *lock jaw" or any number of horrors when we're "handling" your meat. Careful now!

Ohhh

It doesn't matter whether they consider themselves gay or not. Once women find out they've done gay stuff, they'll be turned off. They have no choice but to be with only men.

Yeah, they're frauds.

Oh wow

Seriously, r158? You dredged up a three-year-old thread to say "Oh wow"?

Bump bitch.

As a long in the tooth top, all I can say is, "Oh Mary."

You've never kissed another man, r160? Or sucked someone's cock? If not, then all I can say to you is "Oh, Mary."

R159 if he had begun a new thread some old troll would be harping that 'we just had a thread on this."

OTOH, r162, he might have stated it correctly: [italic]Total[/italic] Tops Aren't Gay. Most tops I have been with, say 99%, were perfectly happy to suck my cock, kiss me, etc. This 21st century aberration is something new and unique, and should be referred to by its total title.