The US has become rape-hysterical

[quote] I'm sick of hearing about rape all the time

Then stop doing it all the time, penised person!!!

Stop raping and wymyn hating, and we'll stop talking about it!!

OP, you sound like a fucking asshole.

Tell me about it, OP.

If so many men weren't as rape-hysterical as they are, you wouldn't hear about women being raped.

A natural consequence of years of rape-apathy.

The US is an OCD country. Rape is the latest media-fueled obsession.

No, it's because we've turned a blind-eye to rape for too long. Victim blaming, shaming, and disbelief. Why? Because rapists are pigs and they have always dictated the agenda.

Rape (and molestation, which I think happens even more often) is an everyday occurrence. As is murder and other violent crimes. OP is right, let's just stop talking about it. You're an idiot. Guess what? Being raped is much worse than being annoyed about hearing about it.

This thread is making me extremely uncomfortable.

Is there a counselor that I can speak to?

I hear ya, OP!

I expressed the exact same sentiment back in 1992, OP !

The Gian Ghomeshi thing seems to have started this stream of disclosure. Good.

It's time victims felt empowered.

The OP is very wise.

[quote]The OP is very wise.

Yes he is, Roman.

Oh, wait...

I really wish the Datalounge would avoid discussions of straight-male-on-female rape.

Because many posters here have no understanding of the issue, beyond a desire to be ravished by straight men.

The op is very wise

And doctors are very worldly

There is hope for Figment!

Being raped is no picnic, it's a fantasy for some deluded people, however in reality, it's humiliating, and forever haunting.

[quote]Because rapists are [bold]men[/bold] who dictate the agenda.

Then you can't let this go R17.

The time is right for all victims to come forward.

--

OP and other men only care about rape when the victims are boys. They care about Sandusky and Bryan Singer but not Cosby or guys who rape women and girls

[quote]I really wish the Datalounge would avoid discussions of straight-male-on-female rape.

In other words, your response to the point made in the thread title is to wish for censorship.

I doubt that's what he meant, r22.

He has a point about a gay site being the wrong place to discuss straight sexual assault.

If you really want to take it on this isn't the place to do it. Now might be a good time to start a new site just for that. The window is wide open.

R22, there's a big difference between actual censorship, and calling people idiots.

No, we can absolutely talk about it here. No one put you or r15 in charge of anything, r23.

If you don't like it, fuck off.

Why so hostile r25.

No one is preventing you from talking about it here but it isn't the ideal spot.

You'll never get a genuine discussion about it here, one that is not invaded by trolling.

That's all I meant.

Guys, why don't we just all do as I say and not talk about what I don't think we should talk about. OK? Trust me on this, I know best.

Or better yet, let's just put words in other peoples mouths

I'm tired of hearing about gay marriage. I'm with ya, OP!

Would you rather hear about abortion?

God I'm sick of hearing about OP all the time with regards to every single fucking aspect of our society. There has become genuine hysteria out there about it.

I never worry about getting raped -- I have a permit to carry, and I carry, yes I do.

Would this be a better world if all women were armed against men, OP?

"I never worry about getting raped -- I have a permit to carry, and I carry, yes I do."

And you carry your gun around EVERYWHERE? Never leave it at home? Good lord, you conservatives are insane. People can still hurt you if you have a gun. Cops carry guns and they get shot.

I understand the OP's point.

Rape leaves lasting scars and must be prosecuted.

However, just as some people have rape fantasies, the idea of rape -- (male) violence against my body -- feeds in perfectly to the victimology that consumes American campuses today. Messy sex is being repackaged as rape.

I actually had a friend tell me that the history of slavery made her feel raped. Making rape meaningless. I felt sorry for her.

"However, just as some people have rape fantasies, the idea of rape -- (male) violence against my body -- feeds in perfectly to the victimology that consumes American campuses today. Messy sex is being repackaged as rape."

No, the vast majority of rape accusations are legit. You are just reciting right-wing talking points. Of course people on the right like to accuse women of playing the victim but not men. When a man says another man abused him people automatically believe it, especially if the man being accused is gay because it feeds into what the right wing wants to believe about gays. Breitbart was drooling over the Bryan Singer accusations.

I'm not denying rape and lets leave the Republicans out of it, shall we?

All I am saying is that rape is being trivialized, both by using rape as a metaphor, and also by the redefinition of a sexually messy experiences as rape.

For example, take the "Mattress Girl" at one of the Ivies. She had sex with a guy a number of times, went to bed with him again after they had both been drinking, and two years later accused him of rape. The police investigated and declined to press charges. Now she is spending the year carrying a mattress around campus, as a performance art piece, until the guy is expelled.

Sometimes we regret sexual experiences. Any gay man (or woman) knows this.

OP, are you talking about rape or "rape-rape?"

r36, how do you know what happened to the mattress girl? You weren't there. Just because the guy being accused denied it doesn't mean he is telling the truth. The police get it wrong a lot, and rape/abuse accusations are very difficult to prove in court, even if they are true.

No one is redefining sexually messy experiences as rape, that is a talking point Republicans and MRA losers use to attack women. For every false accusation there are a dozen women (and some men, too) who are raped and never report it at all.

This gender appendage shaming has to stop.

I was molested.

Reports of rape are actually going down and have been going down for years....so much for hysteria.

Rape is a terrible, violent, scarring crime.

Many of the anti-rape advocates are terrible advocates for the victims.

R23 - what do you think people can't read back two posts? Here is what you wrote:

[quote] He has a point about a gay site being the wrong place to discuss straight sexual assault.

You didn't say this site. You said gay site.

The idea that there is "straight rape" is seriously flawed. Rape is a violent act. The idea that someone who is not sexually attracted to women has no empathy and can't initiate a conversation about rape shows a gross misunderstanding of the crime.

Unfortunately OP's hyperbole has uncovered a kernel of truth. As many college campuses are discovering. In some cases the only people who are benefiting from current sexual abuse policies are attorneys.

Where colleges were notorious for covering up sexual abuse and rape now the pendulum is swinging the other way. Men are presumed guilty and often not permitted to present a defense.

Purple is molested.

This thread upsets me so much, I'm going to walk outside and find a fistful of pebbles to shove up in my snatch.

r43, most men are not presumed guilty, people like you defend them. Look at the people here defending Cosby. And of course they are permitted a defense. You are just a typical men's rights activist, acting hysterical without any statistics or hard evidence to back up your case. Just anecdotal evidence culled from MRA sites.

FYI defining sex with someone too drunk to consent is not "campus hysteria", it is LEGALLY defined as rape.

Also, rape can exist even when there has been previous consensual sex between the same parties. That is the LAW.

And if acquaintance rape rarely results in a conviction, it's because it's very difficult to prove. Half of you don't have a fucking clue what you're talking about.

Hi R38,

Again, let's leave the Republicans out of it, please.

In answer to your question, I wasn't there (thank god!) so we must leave the matter to the imperfect institution that is the police and the courts.

I would also tell my hypothetical daughter (or son) that sex is inherently risky. I would also say that if you are raped you need to go to the police immediately, and not wait two years.

Well at least people know what it means. They gave a sexual harrassment training at my company at the end of which pretty much everyone flunked the test.

r48, I would tell my son or daughter that, too, but people don't always act the way the are "supposed to" act. Many people don't come forward immediately because they are too ashamed or embarrassed. Rape kits are imperfect anyway, the perp can just say he had "rough sex" with the victim.

[quote]Just because the guy being accused denied it doesn't mean he is telling the truth.

Equally, just because the girl with the mattress accusing him claimed it doesn't mean she is telling the truth.

The university had to adjudicate and they decided that rape had not occurred.

The next time a drunk driver is convicted of drunk driving, will the defense be I was too drunk to know that I shouldn't have been driving, therefore I'm not really guilty?

We have become a country of victims and people trying to get rich quick based on alleged victimization.

Rape happens, it's awful and the perpetrators should be found and prosecuted, but on the same token Be prepared to answer the tough questions and back them the fuck up.

I don't believe for one second that anyone can be raped orally. If someone sticks their dick in your mouth and you don't want it there, but the fucker off. I also don't believe in this recovered memory bullshit. And I'm also tired of this thing where women use rape as the magical reset button, so they can erase past slutty behavior.

It's embarrassing that this is what we've become. No one owns any of their own shit. It's always someone else's fault. Enough.

And what's worse, no one asks questions. We're supposed to feel empathy, so the tough questions can't be answered or asked. Meanwhile reputations get destroyed while the victim(s) gets an open mic.

R47, It's not rape if both parties are drunk. Right now there is this movement to make it always be rape if the woman is drunk and that's bull shit.

To R46, and others who think the way s/he does:

Perhaps, today, you will be (erroneously) accused of fondling a child.

Then, I'll be interested in reading what you post.

"I don't believe for one second that anyone can be raped orally. If someone sticks their dick in your mouth and you don't want it there, but the fucker off."

It's incredibly easy, you just threaten the person into cooperation. Hold a gun to their head, a knife to their throat, hold a fist to their face while being twice their size and strength, say they'll never work in show biz again, etc.

And while you're calling people on their shit, R52, why not call out the men? The men who've been telling each other to "just get her drunk" since the invention of alcohol, who assure each other that any girl who comes to your room has to want it, and who firmly believe it's not rape if she's a wife or girlfriend - it's your rights! THEY are the problem, not the girls who are objecting to being treated that way.

You almost sound like one of those MRA woman-haters-club nutballs, and FYI those loons are obsessed with being falsely accused of rape. Partly because their social skills are so poor that they can't read other people signals in intimate situations, partly because they can't believe any woman would want them, and mostly because they still can't believe women have the right to turn them down.

I feel badly for straight guys. Eventually, it's going to get to the point where they are going to have to have every sexual partner sign a release before fucking.

"We have become a country of victims"

I, for one, hope my countrymen never stop objecting to being victimized, and doing their damndest to get payback. If a bank rips you off, sue the fuckers! If a priest diddles your kid, make the diocese who hushed up previous molestation pay! And if your date puts a roofie in your drink and rape you, drag him through court!

People who whine about "culture of victims" bother me. Some would actively like to victimize other people, and others are just assholes who have so little empathy they don't even like hearing about other people's perfectly real problems.

W&W for R52

[quote]It's incredibly easy, you just threaten the person into cooperation. Hold a gun to their head, a knife to their throat, hold a fist to their face while being twice their size and strength, say they'll never work in show biz again, etc.

One of these is not like the other...

Thank you, R57.

Rolling Stone has a great new story about rape at University of Virginia. Everyone should read it.

Latest headline: "Gay man says Bill Cosby raped him"

I remember the old cic a 1970 delicious porn documentary "Sexual Freedom in Denmark." There was a narrator on there who argued that rape should be decriminalized and prosecuted as assault. She said prosecution for rape was a puritanical approach to sex.

I feel your pain, man.

And I have always been a supporter of the "gay."

[quote]just as some people have rape fantasies

They do?

I learn so much on Datalounge, but I'm not sure I need to know most of it.

Honestly, some of you seem to think that straight men lead terrible lives of constantly being preyed on by women, being afraid to touch girls for fear of a false rape accusation, and feeling helpless in the face of that fear because everyone will always believe a woman who accuses him of rape.

Which shows how out of touch with reality some of you are.

I'm not really sure why we're discussing this, any way. This isn't really a gay issue. And quite frankly we should all be thanking our lucky stars, that gay men just don't have to deal with this sort of nonsense.

Haterape!

I feel conflicted. I like forceful sex with a hot daddy type or even a young blue collar stud but if some scuzzy homeless guy or Bill Cosby raped me I don't know how I could go on. Rape is hot in fantasy but not reality.

You sound like a rape racist, R68.

That was horrifying R60.

And I've fantasized about a "forced" hate fucking from Joel Osteen

Yes, thanks R60, that was disturbing. What a nasty Frat culture UVA has!

Though I have to say, I don't understand why the young woman doesn't press criminal charges.

That expose on UVirginia at R60 was intense.

I agree r15 but I find it strange because I have run into enough gay men that were molested, and at least somewhat traumatized by it, to think there would be some understanding here.

[quote]The US has become rape-hysterical

Not fair. Awareness comes when it's finally time, or even long overdue.

How about we have a thread titled: The US has become gay-marriage hysterical. Sick of hearing about it. Does everything have to do with gay marriage? Etc...

Sex abuse victims deserve to have their say but I'm absolutely sick of this Victorian attitude that their trauma is automatically, unquestionably worse than others. Physical abuse, bullying, poverty and mental illness can all do Massive more damage than a groping. Yet these types of victims are told to "bootstrap " and deal while victims of even the most mild sexual abuse are encouraged to wallow forever. We've gone from one cultural extreme to another. In the past sex victims were essentially told to be quiet and deal, now they are held up by society as emotionally destroyed, perpetual victims. It's absurd. Just because a trauma involves sex does NOT make it worse.

R76 nails it.

[quote]Sex abuse victims deserve to have their say but I'm absolutely sick of this Victorian attitude

Every time someone mention "Victorian" in the same breath as egregious cases of sexual abuse, I know that person is a shithead. If I had a nickel for every time someone invoked Victorianism when talking about things like child rape, sexual assault, pedophilia, etc., I'd be a richer than Jeff Bezos.

R78 but not every case is egregious. But, nowadays, they are all put in the same category of seriousness regardless of severity. Like a victim of mild sexual abuse would be considered worse off than a victim of severe physical assault. Obviously, concern for these victims is not in and of itself Victorian. And we do need to discuss these things as a society (IE sunlight is the best disinfectant ).But the belief that their pain is always worse is puritanical.

Are you also tired of hearing about murder, OP? What about theft and any number of other crimes?

R76, who revived this thread after four years, is likely the OP of the original, trying again to gain some acceptance for his deranged POV

Chasity belts

Trans

Neuter the violent

^^though if I had to guess, he was abused/raped at some point in his life, has "learned to deal with it" and thus believes everyone else should too.