Douching Help

You're making this way too complicated.

Yes, the one that attaches to your shower would be better. Not as much air. If you have already had a decent bowel movement for the day, it shouldn't take a ton of water to make sure you are cleaned out. Be prepared, however, that you might flush some shit out in the tub/shower that either can go down the drain or be picked up and flushed. Depends on what kind of drain you have.

[quote] or be picked up and flushed.

Screaming in horror as I type!

I'm with R1. Your rectum should be free of stool unless you have to go. Your stools should be firm and you should evacuate regularly and completely and anal sex should not need any special preparation other than a couple of soapy fingers poked in when in the shower. It sounds like you need to make some dietary changes.

[quote]Anyway, today I had a doctor's appointment, and I thought she (yes, she) would be doing a prostate exam, like she has in the past, with messy results.

Ewww, your doctor got stinkfinger doing your prostate exam? What the hell, dude, firm up your stool!

I'm sure your Doctor is still having nightmares after her last check of your poop shoot and will never go there again even if this goes against her medical code of ethics.

I think you mean "enema".

Douching is something only the female of the species can do, if you catch my drift.

What the hell is wrong with you OP? Wash your nasty ass!

Dear Lord in Heaven!

[quote]Ironically, the doctor didn't even do the prostate exam

After the shitfinger you left her with last time? Is this really surprising?

Dude, just get one of those rubber bulbs with a plastic tip and use some lukewarm water. You'll get the hang of it.

This thread is hilarious.

R11 Like a turkey baster?

Did you do a douche or an enema? And why is your ass so dirty?

OP, you should not douche your help. Please let them do it for themselves.

Do not listen to fiber weenies always douche.

r15, you is kind, you is smart, you is important.

Metamucil

Here you go.

"Bottom Boy Basics" can give you some tips in about three minutes.

There are a lot of hot guys on youtube teaching us all how to douche.

This douche expert has a super hot body!

Don't believe you've never bottomed before. You type like a lazy bottom.

Just get a colonic before you fuck, if you only fuck once a month or so

I'd like to thank these Youtube hunks. Now it's easy to direct idiots to them, when said idiots come on Datalounge and ask the same tired old "want to bottom but afraid of my poopy butthole" question.

We used to get that question at least twice a month in here.

Shower shot and fiber

OP, go away. Nobody wants to fuck your old, saggy, dimpled ass.

A bunch of liquid and other stuff came out?

What kind of "other stuff"????

Crayons? Dryer sheets? Your long lost wallet?

R27, no, none of those things. Just a red velvet clutch purse. It had no ID in it, so I'm claiming it. Finders keepers, losers weepers and all that stuff.

Why is it so difficult to get completely clean and not have to be worried about mess?

I'm sitting here LMAO at those of you who take these threads seriously.

NUFF SAID !

It's amazing how many guys are making videos about male douching advice.

Apparently, there's a demand for it.

[quote]Why is it so difficult to get completely clean and not have to be worried about mess?

Because it isn't a hole made for receptive sex, (totally unnatural and barbaric). It's a hole for YOUR SHIT TO COME OUT.

[quote]Douching is something only the female of the species can do, if you catch my drift.

What is this "douching" you speak of?

Poop SHOOT??

Oh, dear.

Are men who get pegged by the women in their lives douching too?

I second #32- nothing goes IN my anus- too gross! And people wonder how diseases get spread? Duh!

Diseases get spread in more ways than via anal insertion. Wake up.

When we're done here can we turn our sage advice to stuffing help?

Thanksgiving is only weeks away.

Did you hear about the mathematician who was constipated? He worked it out with a pencil.

there goes my lunch, thanks...

How are we all supposed to know? It's not exactly discussed out in the open. How did you know before the internet? A gay grapevine thing

lol R34

Indeed, you seem to be talking about an enema here.

Not from a male bottom perspective, but I am female and have done colon cleansing when on various zealous fasts.

Some people add coffee--can you imagine? Or lemon juice, for a natural clean.

I used the red bag from the drug store, the one that doubles as an old-fashioned hot water bottle.

You shouldn't be farting. You have to let the water start to come out, so all the air in bag comes out first. Then get on your hands and knees and stick it in. Let it trickle in. At least a pint, if not most of the quart. Then, your bum should be a bit higher than the rest of you as the water makes its way into your colon for a few minutes. Maybe lie on either side for a bit as well to work it around!

It can feel strange or unpleasant, like an upset stomach during this, until you just get used to it.

After a few minutes, as long as you can stand it, you should feel compelled to get on toilet. I wouldn't leave the house for a little while, though, in case...

I am going to try the red bulb

OP, the day before you want to indulge, eat lightly or fast. The, with the douche top, and I mean it in the bath house meaning of male douche, rinse your innards like you're making chitlins. Rinse and rinse again. Go in deep with 2-3 liters. Then three hours later repeat. Two hours after that you should squeak when you walk.

[quote]Rinse and rinse again. Go in deep with 2-3 liters. Then three hours later repeat

Sounds like a recipe for a very dry hole. Hope you're using plenty of lube and a condom!

I guess what I don't really understand is that there doesn't seem to be a way to actually rinse out the hole ... I mean you have to put it in and then try to expel it or wait for it to come out naturally, right? You can't just flood the hole and have it come right back out again.

The poop just come right back.

Poop poop poop!

This one comes highly recommended:

R35 no. And I can guarantee no women who are doing anal are doing this either.

Are you a woman, OP? If not, lose the "douche." That's something that women do. No vagina, no douche. You mean an enema.

For an enema, I've tried diluting Drano with DISTILLED water (1:4), adding a touch of ghee (clarified butter) as an emollient, filling a turkey baster with the mixture, then squirt away! Very effective and it really clears out the sinuses too!

R52 Drano?!

Cider vinegar!!!!

Vinegar and Drano to wash the FILTH out of your dirty ass, OP.

Drano? That's ridiculous! I use Liquid Plumr.

OK, haha, Mr. Drano.

The Mr. Clean magic eraser does wonders!

r52 - r57 What if OP or some other DL enema newbie actually thinks you all were being serious? Assholes!

To all those people who are serious about using an enema, after you shit, mix about a cup of warm water with a little sea salt and stir. (The salt helps me from getting gassy.)

I use a medium large syringe like the one pictured below. I fill the syringe with the water. I insert it and push the water in my bum. I wait a second or two and then expel it into the toilet. I wipe and if I'm clean I stop. If I'm not clean, I add another syringe and repeat, until I feel clean. I then clean the syringe with clorox spray and hot water. After about a week of use, I throw the syringe away and use a new one.

OP, you are confusing an enema with a douche. An enema is used if one is extremely constipated. It is held in for a while until you are able to poop. If you want to be clean and prepared for anal sex, treat it like a douch - a rinse. If you are planning on anal, eat somewhat lightly the night before. A few hours before sex, poop; make sure you are as empty as possible. Then, use a disposable enema, like fleet and rinse your insides. Put it in and expel the water right away. Don't hold it in. You should be basically empty and just rinsing things out. Rinse and repeat until the water you expel is clear. Again, don't hold it in, just rinse. Afterwards, shower and you should be ready to go.

A dildo doesn't care if you're clean or not and you don't have to ask it to leave afterwards.

Interesting link

[quote]Be prepared, however, that you might flush some shit out in the tub/shower that either can go down the drain or be picked up and flushed

Don't tell me you haven't figured out yet that you can hold it all in for the two seconds it takes you to get to a toilet and dispose of everything there.

Everyone needs a bidet.

This entire thread.....

Yum

Fucking nasty.

[quote]I have one of those devices that attaches to your shower

So you just happen to have one of these lying around the house? Even though you have no idea how to douche, and have never bottomed?

0/10

Eat a packet of prunes the day before

Before I do Master Cleanse, I drink a quart of hot water with 2 tsp sea salt. It takes a couple hrs before it all comes out, but you’ll feel great afterwards.