Bizarre utterances during sex

please never say 'man pussy'

R1 One does not merely say 'man pussy', it is one of those phrases that can only be hissed.

I've had men shout "Pack my shit" lots of times. I take it to mean I've achieved adequate depth.

Give me your seed

I want your baby juice.

Daddy! Give me your daddy cream!!!

When lesbians say "pack my shit" during sex it means they've been together for as long as three days and can confidently take their relationship to the next level.

One time a guy ask me, "Which do you want to do first, feed me or fill me?"

I didn't quite understand, as we had discussed the possibility of getting food before hooking up. So I said, "Sure we can go out for food first."

He quickly replied, "No. I mean do you want to feed me your cum or fill my ass?"

I did not hook up with him again.

Oh yeah! Loosen my shit, I was stopped up before, but NOT ANYMORE... LOOSEN IT LOOSEN IT LOOOOOOOOOSEN IIIIITTTTTTTT...GOD DAMN IT!!!!!!!

Eat my shitter bitch

Is it in yet?

I agree with the man pussy remarks. As soon as a man refers to his ass as female anatomy it's over. My boner immediately shifts into park.

"Sorry! Shop's closed!"

R4, I have a fuck buddy who loves to beg to be seeded and it really turns me on. Always makes me cum when a guy begs for my cum.

I have stopped fucking upon 'fuck me daddy', 'manpussy', and 'I love you'.

I was getting pounded last night by a needle dick and the guy asked me if I read Datalounge.

Two separate guys, both instant boner killers.

"You suck dick better than my wife"

"Give it to me, stick it in my magina"

No second dates for these fellas.

Everyone is such a prude on here.

Just have fun

That old DL post with "Use yo fingah! use yo fingah!"

Fill me with your graxy!

"Get it, Peggy! Get it!"

"That's right fella, I'm stinkin' up your rod. Stinkin' it up real good, yeah."

It was this old geezer bus driver back when I was in college. I just tuned him out and kept going.

'stinkin' up your rod ...' Oh, the humanity!!!

Agree with mangina, man pussy, mussy, anything that you can picture being hissed by a DL habitué while adjusting his bulk inside his caftan and shoving another Krispy Kreme in his drooling maw.

I think it's just that so many things that sound hot in your imagination come out totally ridiculous when said out loud. Many years ago there was one guy who during the usual fuck me hard, fuck me deep type stuff shouted out "make it so" - or so I thought. It stopped me dead in my tracks, I couldn't believe anyone would do a Captain Picard bit during sex. Turned out he said "make me sore" and I'd misheard. Oh well. Moment was gone, never saw him again.

An older guy in East Hampton started shouting in falsetto, "Pull my dick, Daddy!"

He had easily 20 years on me. Very unnerving.

Hey R17, let's go for a terrific meal, your choice. Just don't lose your appetite when I spit in your food.

`Only King Kong can stop the rain!`.

I really get turned off by dudes that say fu#& my man-pussy. Honestly, what a major turn off! The wild thing is the dudes I have tricked with that do this are otherwise pretty masculine.

"I think I'm gonna fart."

"PACK MY SHIT!!! PACK IT ALL UP...AND SEND IT UPS. THAT' S RIGHT DADDY...Drop it off before 4PMMMMMMMMM"

OMG, 20 and 28 made me laugh out loud.

"That'll put marzipan in your pie plate, bingo!"

"Damn, I forget to pick up the dry cleaning."

"God, I hate Carrie White"

"Ready for school now Sport?"

"Whip me, beat me. Call me misshelenbedd."

R21, What's a hot young, early 20 something doing fucking an "old geezer"? Or where you never hot?

I've been a sex addict since I started fucking at 13, R36. Was diagnosed in my 20s but it's still a losing battle. I was super hot in college (still fit and great looking today at 35) and yet wouldn't believe the disgusting men I threw down with. At least this one had all his teeth (and fingers) which is more than I can say for many of them.

"I'm sorry ... close your eyes ... don't look" as he was having an accidental BM as he got off me.

r37 have you no control over your impulses? I know I do, but I'm a whore.

White guy here. I was blowing a beautiful black man who asked me, out of the blue, if I liked "that n***er dick."

I was shocked. Shocked that he said that with such a delicious, evil grin, and shocked that it made me come like Old Faithful.

"Cum in me! Make me pregnant! Give me a baby!"

I mean, wtf?

R40 sounds hot.

"I love you."

It's not the time for love just then.

You make me feel like a cheap frock bein stitched together in a sweatshop. That phrase always makes me think, fuck americans only.

This isn't exactly an utterance, but the first time that I fucked someone, at the moment when we were just about to come, he flicked a switch and Christmas lights began to blink all over the ceiling.

[quote]You make me feel like a cheap frock bein stitched together in a sweatshop.

I can't tell you how often my wife says those exact words.

"I love you mommy" as he came.

A guy I knew in college who enjoyed extreme experiences (God rest his soul) had a boyfriend who was a fat cop, and the cop liked getting a blow job in uniform with just his zipper open. Invariably he would be thrusting and grinding and the gun in its holster would be banging my friend in the head, and the cop would be yelling, "I'M GONNA BLOW YOUR HEAD OFF!!!" as he started to cum.

"You fucking whore, you fucking cunt!" as he was cumming.

I've had guys use the old Jeff Stryker-type language: "Suck that big cock. You like that big cock, doncha?" And I always started laughing and had to "disengage."

"Make me cum make me cum make me cum make me cum I'm cumming I'm cumming I'm cumming No No No No No make me cum make me cum" and on and on. That particular relationship didn't last.

R40, I've had that kind of patter, too. (I'm biracial but look white, so it's even sillier.) Oddly, it doesn't have the same effect as the Stryker talk in my first example. It can be sexy, so long as the guy isn't too role-playing about it. One great guy, though, would drop the "dick" and just say, "Yeah, suck that n****r. Suck that n****r good." Lord. (I usually don't like being coy with language but spelling it out just didn't look right here.)

I hate roles - when things have to be said in a certain way in a certain order. One guy kept telling me to tell him I wanted his potatoes. Jesus Christ. At that point I really did not want his potatoes. at all.

(Honest) I had one guy, who I'd been dating for a while and who was verbal in stimulating ways suddenly called out, "Here's Johnny!" as he was cumming. Again, I started laughing. But in that case no disengagement was necessary.

And one guy (a black guy, too), kept telling me he wanted some o' that pink poontang as he finger-banged me. Yuck.

I can tolerate pretty much everything (including the manpussy, shitter, and breeding stuff), EXCEPT racial/ethnic/gay insults.

"Sí Papi" is fine, but why does someone think I'm gonna enjoy "rape me with that fucking Spic rod, you faggot thug!"

The rape fantasy is OK. His need to associate me with a hustling, opportunist, criminal psychopath isn't.

R50 I have been called the N word before and "ghetto N....". I about punched the guy in the mouth when he said that. I was pissed.

A very nice, but, not overly attractive twenty-five year old man was about to get a good, rigorous, pity fuck. I could overlook his face and focus on his good back and shoulders, plus, he was a sweet, charming guy, and...a virgin! But, every time, I got going, he'd whisper, breathlessly, "Oh my goo'ness. OH MY GOO'NESS! " Just like Shirley Temple. It was terrible. Then, he'd giggle. I tried to soldier onward, but, after several, "Oh my goo'nesses," I had to stop. I bought him hot chocolate, and, no kidding, animal crackers., and went on my merry, limping way.

I wonder if he's still a virgin. I just couldn't go through with it. It was too creepy. It'd been like fucking this...trapped in an average man's body.

You are a whore, darlin.

I enjoy being a girl!

R40 here. He was so natural, so playful, so sexy, that he could have said anything, but the contrast with that kind of filthy talk just took me right over the edge.

He had my number, that's for sure.

"Slap her, Willona!"

OH, LAWD, TAKE ME, MANDINGO !

[quote]A few weeks ago I was out with some friends and I met a man. I went back to his place and he has a nice old house and a pool. We took a swim and had some drinks. He grabbed my shoulders and said 'Christ! I want to fuck you!' and I said 'Then do!'

I always chuckle at 'suck that cock', assuming there's no other cock in the room to suck.

I've finally been to me!

1) A guy from 35 years ago who kept saying, "Don't you fuckin' tell nobody!" over and over, sprinkled with varying other threats, while he bottomed (yes, from New Jersey).

2) Our darker-skinned bretheren who just can't help but to swerve and veer into the Mandingo-verbal territory. Total turn-off.

3) Hot guy I finally landed in bed, years and years ago: "Stroke it! Stroke it! Stroke it! Spit on it! Oh, yeah, spit on it! Stroke it! Stroke it!" (he couldn't get off unless I gave him a hand job while continually spitting on his dick).

You all recognize most of these boner shrinkers came from either porn or this place, right?

"Colton" decided to scream, 'Fuck me! Fuck me right on my dick!' Which seemed unnecessary at the time.

"I'm going OVER THE TOP!!!"

How about "Can I be your prison bitch?"

"Can you smell my stool?"

R66 --- PLEASE tell me that's a joke. Ewwwwwwwwwww.

SQUIRT THAT MAN YOGURT!!!

[quote]SQUIRT THAT MAN YOGURT!!!

Unless one is having sex with John Stamos, one must never say such a thing.

Whenever I'd fuck my bf, he would say, "I'm so open like 7-Eleven!"

"Sexy times". Zzzzz...

"Me,me,me,me! at first I thought he was practicing scales !

Whilst fucking -- see, some do use the word -- Yeah, use me as a woman! Fuck me, suck me, call me Helen! (That one'll sure make your dick go down.) Oh, oh, oh … give me your baby!

A friend who got off with a Japanese salaryman said that he orgased with: " Ah! Ah! Sunshine through clouds!"

R40, how many times did you hook up with that guy? Are you still seeing/dating him?

I picked up a French guy during an airport stopover. As I was sucking his dick in a hotel room, he started crying and shouting what sounded like Petit! Petit! Petit!

"Cheese from Poland!"

Jesus, this is some hilarious shit.

R23 and r52, you have destroyed me.

[quote]I think it's just that so many things that sound hot in your imagination come out totally ridiculous when said out loud.

Or acted out. I often ask myself - could I describe this comfortably at a dinner party? Or even to my best friend?

One time I was getting fucked bareback with this random dude and he kept saying. "I'm gonna knock you up. I'm gonna knock up your pussy with my big cock. You're gonna give me a son, right? A son with a big cock like his daddy, huh right? Then we're going to take turns fucking you like the little dirty you are.

Then there are always the guys who threaten to ruin your hole for anyone else. "Nobody's gonna want this when I'm through with it."

'Make it so'. Too funny..

I can handle "Man pussy" or "mangina." Not a preference at all, not a turn on, but I can tune them out.

"Boygina," not so much.

But the huge turn off is "shitter" or "pooper." Sorry, but invoking taking a dump in the middle of sex is the opposite of erotic for me. Instant bonekiller, and I pulled out and shut that shit down as soon as it happened.

There are no bizarre utterances in sex.

You pathetic, sanitized Nancy boys make me puke. When two men are locked in man fucking what comes out from their hearts is pure beauty. I weep for what passes for a gay man today. I can't believe what my brothers gave their lives and talents for in kicking out of the closet. This is what we get: eeeeeews. Men fuck, hard and raw, get in the game, girls.

R83, MARY!

'what comes out from their hearts is pure comedy'.

Fixed that for ya, R83

[quote]One guy kept telling me to tell him I wanted his potatoes. Jesus Christ. At that point I really did not want his potatoes. at all.

LMFAO!!

[quote]But the huge turn off is "shitter" or "pooper." Sorry, but invoking taking a dump in the middle of sex is the opposite of erotic for me.

Agreed?

I had a married bud that would say "fill my dumpster" when I was fucking him doggie style. I did. Many, many times. Ridiculous when I think about it, but pretty hot in the moment.

I love when guys call their asses pussies…gets my dick extra hard.

One time I let this guy blow me, and right after we'd finished up & I was putting my pants back on he goes, "Oh man…this is when the guilt sets in." I remember thinking to myself, "Shit--is this guy gonna kill me now?" I never bothered with him again.

Too funny

R74 and R76 made me LOL.

"Oh, Stephie, my tits are flying."

"You mean the panties that your mother laid out for you?"

[R83] watches too much porn.

Actually, I find that saying the most UN-politically correct things while in the heat of the moment adds considerable frisson to the whole act.

The taboo aspect of it works like an oral -and aural - aphrodisiac.

During an intense session, a guy blurted out that I had a rib cage of a 27 year old.

One time I was about to top my ex, he said "dig in." I thought I must have heard him incorrectly, so I asked him about it afterwards. He did, indeed, say it. I also have (had?) a fuck bud -- he moved out of town -- and he would keep hissing "give me your seed, i want your seed..." while I fucked him. This guy is so fucking hot, I just overlooked it and kept pounding him. Oh, to be in Ohio where he is now.

"Dig in" is actually kind of hot.

And no, I only met that wonderful black guy one time. Back in my tramp days. Years, rather.

"Do you want to cut my nipples off? Say you're going to cut my nipples off!"

This was part of some kind of weird scene he had going on in his head about gladiators. He also asked me to hold a clam shucker against his nipples as he masturbated.

"How about you smoke some T and blow the smoke on my cock and then I'll do the same to you?"

Uh...yeah, except I don't smoke meth.

[quote]This guy is so fucking hot, I just overlooked it and kept pounding him. Oh, to be in Ohio where he is now.

Was his name Nick, by chance? Or Kristofer?

Remember the Maine!!!!!

last night i told my boyfriend to "hurt me". god, so embarrassing.

When the lights went out: "Pat my pussy and call me Anne."

"Suck that tittie! Suck that there tittie!"

I mean, REALLY!

Rock me Amadeus....I was like wtf...

Lol @ r106

A guy I dated briefly screamed out, "Oh, baby! Split my shitter!" - I almost lost my erection. Needless to say, it put a damper on our sex life. Yuck!

r101 -- the Ohio guy is married with kids, so it's likely he'll use a fake name. He has the biggest cock I've ever seen, and, god alive, is he a great bottom.

Seems everyone has forgotten the unspoken yawn during sex. If you want to kill my zeal- yawn while I'm going down on you and I'm finished.

It's not about me R64

But Obama certainly has relationship issues. He doesn't relate at all to the U.S, or to the world. He's lazy, and he's out of touch, and he doesn't care to even try and make his political relationship work. You can't expect some one else to do the work, while you sit back and watch. We are dealing with major issues here, and he doesn't want to get his hands dirty. That isn't the way to run a country.That's the way to destroy it.

I've got three...

1) Eons ago. I was with this enormous redheaded bodybuilder from Arkansas. As I was fucking him, he started crying out, "I'm gettin' cornholed."

2) Way more recently, one of the best FBs I'd ever had (until he found religion) - a slim, sexy Mexican would call out repeatedly as he was close to shooting: Mi niño! Mi niño!

3) Guy I was with on and off in the 90s. French Canadian who lived in Montreal. This was not during sex but just after. I'd get up, go to the bathroom, the kitchen, come back to bed, when he started yelling at me, "It's daytime!" I had no idea what he was talking about. Turned out he was freaked out about my being casually naked. Yikes.

Well, one guy moaned, Oh mama, mama!

[quote]When the lights went out

Your first mistake

R112, I think utterances 1 and 2 are pretty hot.

#1 sounds like an innocent farm boy who's amazed that he's actually taking it in, and admits it, and #2 is just calling you "my boy" which is kind of affectionate (and not necessarily referencing pedophilia or a weather phenomenon).

#3? You should introduce him to Granny at r104, who does it only with the lights out.

A British guy years ago in an alley in Manhattan who I was giving a hand job to kept saying, as I edged him, "I'm going to arrive!, I'm going to arrive!"

"Beige...I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."

That is the day I get the lemon pops!

[quote]During an intense session, a guy blurted out that I had a rib cage of a 27 year old.

R96=Jeffrey Dahmer's next victim, glancing in the corner of the bedroom.

[quote] If you want to kill my zeal- yawn while I'm going down on you and I'm finished.

Strangely enough, I had a FB years ago who was an amazing cocksucker, and his favorite thing was having me fall asleep while he blew me; to him it was the ultimate on how relaxed I was. You know how I achieved it? By staying up on meth the previous two nights (he also liked tweakers).

Had one guy whimper "Fuck me, daddeeee. Fuck meeeee" in this mewling voice. We were both around the same age and not doing any kind of role play. Totally killed the mood.

"I want you to park your fart-box right on my soup-cooler."

I once had a guy start reciting Hail Marys while I was fucking him.

I like them younger (18 to 25) and now make it clear that calling me "Daddy" while they blow me or I fuck them is a mood killer as are references to their "boy pussy" etc. Yuck.

When I was in graduate school I had a hot fuckbuddy who almost ruined it every time by calling out "two men fucking is so hot" while I was doing him.

I met a guy on the internet few years back. He was maybe early 50s, claimed to bi. No heavy action. Huge cock on him. While he was jacking to give me a load on my chest, he started saying something along the lines of "When I was 30 and my mother was 60, we kissed one night. I carried her to the bedroom, took her clothes off. I ate her pussy. It wasn't dried up, but pink and moist. Then I fucked her deep and hard." He shot on my chest then.

Gratefully, I'd already came. This one I called Twisted Half Sister. I started screening the tricks better after that one.

" you got the part of Noah Puckerman"

WTF R124.

There was a thread on Reddit where this comment went viral. I still laugh out loud when I read it.

"Not me, but an old friend of mine.

Really quiet, soft-spoken, polite guy. A total gentleman and a graduate student in the liberal arts. Also, pretty inexperienced, tentative, and vanilla sexually.

He's dating this really cool girl for maybe two months. She is much kinkier in bed. She floats the idea of dirty talk, and apparently likes to be objectified, even demeaned a bit, from time to time. He's hesitant, but wants to please her and doesn't dismiss the idea outright. Changes the subject and figures that they'll revisit the idea another time.

Anyway...they have sex a few days later for the first time since the conversation. Really going at it doggystyle, and she tells him to talk dirty to her. He says that he can't think of anything to say, so he says nothing, and she then repeats the request, but the second time she is not fucking requesting, but demanding it.

He comes up with: "Yeah...you like that, you fucking retard?"

He's never struck me as one for embellishment, so I believe him. He said that was it for sex that night, although they are still together two years on now."

"He also asked me to hold a clam shucker against his nipples as he masturbated." You do not know, R99, how hard I laughed.

Mine was the hockey player (on the old Hartford Whalers) who liked to wear black dress socks in bed and would yell, "Score, score, score" when I fucked him. Didn't bother me.