New Anonymous Confessions Thread

I am leaving my partner. He has no idea, but I have put all kinds of financial plans into play the last three months so I can move away from him. He's treated me contemptuously and he thinks I'd never leave him; but I'm out very soon.

I stole a Hershey's Kiss once. Only thing I've ever stolen.

I want to marry my air conditioner. So reliable. So unlike a MAN!

I stole the comics out of my neighbors newspaper twice!!! I was unemployed, what can I do to rectify this terrible deed.

my boyfriend doesn't like anal, so I get fucked by a dildo from a bit hairy cop I know

I don't like milk but if I did I would drink it straight from the carton.

I was going to take a walk, go to the store and shower after work. Instead I've been lying on the bed under the ceiling fan for 90 minutes and honestly I think I'll just go to sleep now. Fucking summer.

I cut my workout short today because I had to poop.

I'm sleeping with a married man with two children. His wife doesn't know and my partner doesn't know.

I didn't go into work today. I called off to fuck a Marine for the better part of the day.

It was pretty damned awesome and I might have to call him back for a repeat performance tomorrow!

I haven't taken a shower, bathed or looked in the mirror in 2 years. I only make quick trips to the grocery store once a month. I don't know where to turn for help.

I shot the sheriff.

My partner was a major AIDS activist; he was HIV positive and passed away from cancer in 2011. I found out from friends Friday that he kind of knew Joep Lange, the Dutch AIDS researcher who died in MH17 in the Ukraine last week.

Lemme tell you what kind of a dark fucking mood *that* news puts you in....

I hope this thread gets better/bigger. Keep them coming, people.

I am thinking at times that when my dog dies, I may take a hike off the planet too.

R15, you could instead choose to save and care for another dog.

I could not care less about the endless Israel v. Palestine issue. The Bible is not a real estate map, and the concept of Zionism is a troubled one for me. After years of caring...I stopped. Kind of like I stopped caring about all the stupid gays in their 20s and 30s sero-converting. Sucks to be them, I guess.

How's the chicken salad here?

This is a true story.

I have a strong feeling I was responsible for the death of someone on an internet forum. He and his sidekick were taunting me unmercifully. It was a specialist hobby-related board that I'd been on for several years. The moderator wouldn't help. I nearly got into a car accident one day, thinking about the latest onslaught. Later I was walking past a craft shop and saw some stuffed cotton dolls in the window, presumably to dress or embroider. I bought two of them for a dollar each. When I got home, I put their initials on slips of paper and pinned them to the two dolls, piercing them in the chest area. A few weeks later, the bully announced he wasn't well and was going to the doctor. Within a month, he was dead. He was fairly young and had no known health problems. His sidekick disappeared from the board and has not been since since. The board went into an orgy of shock and grief. I have never returned to the board, though I sometimes read it.

My older sister tortured me throughout the time we grew up together. After we became adults she wouldn't have anything to do with me, ignoring me when we would occasionally bump into each other at the mall or wherever.

No one knows that her ex-husband called me one night when she was suicidal, thinking a family member should know. I told him I didn't care what became of her.

You reap what you sow.

R19 There are a lot of people in my life/family members whom if they died I don't think I would give a shit.

It would bother me more to lose my dog than anyone in my family.

My brother is a violent alcoholic who tortured me my whole life and we haven't spoken in years. Wouldn't really miss him.

My father is gross and treats my mother like shit. She is too weak to leave him. Both would be better off if the other died.

My three grandparents left are all in their 80s. Wouldn't really be a shock. The one grandfather left I was close to it turns out he is more homophobic than I realized so I stopped talking to him. My cousin had a bastard child out of wedlock and everyone's getting divorced and having premarital sex but I am the one going to hell. OK. See you there, cunts.

Maybe my body would have an involuntary reaction and force me to cry to fit it but I don't think I would feel sad if I went to their funerals at all.

R18 Does that voodoo doll thing really work? I should try it but I don't want the bad karma. I have suffered enough.

R20, I don't know. Maybe it was his bad karma catching up to him. I never thought I had any magical powers. Warning to others - don't make me mad!

R20, My sympathies. I have also divorced almost my entire family, and I wished I'd done it ages ago. Just emotionally disconnect, and then physically separate yourself completely. It's very unhealthy for you to even to think about their problems. That's what killed the others who were dissing you, not the voodoo doll.

I read a scientific study that showed voodoo has no power. For those who are convinced it works, subconsciously they will change their patterns of behavior to make the spell work.

I once stole a deposit bag from work,and they fired the manager because she was the only one who was supposed to know the combination (I stood over her shoulder and memorized it when she punched it in ),she went to hell in a handbasket after that and about a year later killed herself. I stole a friends iD (decades before it was a "thing" ) and got a job in a prison under his name,though I had served 4 years myself. I did meet my lover of 12 years there( its why I was fired ! ) but he died in a car accident so I figured that was karma for that one. I worked for an estate lawyer who would send me all over florida securing homes of those who died without heirs,or whose heirs lived abroad and needed time to get there. Id go secure the premises,inventory any valuables,etc. I made 100s of 1000s of dollars stealing coins and jewelry , small valuables and antiques . I never got caught and they never suspected a thing.The key was I didn't get greedy and never stole anything I knew the people would notice. I was a terrible person for most of my life,all I did was party and lie and cheat and hurt people. My first real love changed all that,and me.Then he died suddenly.Then my second love died slowly. I felt I deserved it because of how shitty I was in my youth.

I fucked a priest in the ass in a bathroom.

Thanks for the reassurance, R22.

I am concerned about my addiction to gay porn. I much prefer to JO to online porn than have sex with my boyfriend of many years.

I waste so much time online looking at porn but I can't seem to stop.

After only a couple years in any job I've ever had I have grown to hate my boss and dislike most of my coworkers.

The same thing happens at every job. It can't be every company and every job and every boss. It's got to be me.

I'm not sure what my problem is but I don't think it bodes well for my future.

Yes, well, R26 / R27, your mental problems were already more than evident after your Minor Celebrity Stalker thread.

Also, OMFG @ R23. Nasty piece of work.

I've sucked my brother's dick. More than once.

r23 scares me.

Test

I've become somewhat emotionally detached in middle age. Other people's problems don't concern me like they used to, especially when I feel they've brought them on themselves. Surface sympathy and exhausted empathy are what's left.

R23 is a front runner for the Worst Person in Datalounge Award

I'm afraid of being alone when I get older. The thing that really scares me is that my bf of 8 years doesnt express an interest in marriage or children and I never knew this until years into the relationship.

I was married to a dry drunk for over 8 years. He supported me and my children. But I couldn't take living on egg shells and left suddenly. I was seeing someone before I left.

Regardless I am heartbroken and miss the man I left.

I am worried about my job which is not looking too good or stable at the moment.

I still see the other man. He is extremely nice and good.

I am just not sure why I am heartbroken?

Years and years ago, I was working as a transcriber for a transcription company. A journalist I'd never heard of brought in a tape to be transcribed of an interview he did on spec for a well-known magazine. The man being interviewed was a high-profile political figure. At once point, the interviewer asked the man about the rumors of him being gay. The man avoided the question, the interviewer persisted. Finally, the man said "Turn off the tape and I'll answer your question." I don't know what the interviewer did, but he did NOT turn off the tape. And I've known the truth for over 30 years and never mentioned it. Until now.

R36 spill the beans...

If it was 30 years ago, R36, high-profile guy is probably not so high profile anymore.

R38 Never assume. You will invariably err.

R37 Anonymous confession. Will spill beans on bean spilling thread . . . maybe.

When I was 13 years-old I was a babysitting two brothers, maybe 7 to 8 to 9 years old. I don't remember. No younger, no older. I made them come into a dark closet and touch my hard dick. Nothing more.

I was wracked with guilt for years afterward. When I was in my 30s my therapist pretty much forgave me, saying that I wasn't much more than a child myself.

Cold comfort. Still feel shitty about it.

I've been with my partner for several years is a nice vanilla relationship. What he doesn't know is that I'm a Dom Master on the side and own two slaves, both married men.

Where do you keep your slaves, R41, that your partner doesn't know about them? Surely he gets curious when you take bowls of dog chow down the cellar.

[quote]Will spill beans on bean spilling thread . . . maybe.

You're already on a bean spilling thread.

[R29] I sucked my older brother's dick also. Then he fucked me. He said I better not let anyone know I liked to do that kind of stuff and that was the end of it.

Why all the hate for R23? His story's not that shocking.

I'm in my mid-30's. I have quit many, many jobs. Sometimes with another lined up, sometimes not. No one person knows how many. Some I've left after a day or a week. Granted, I also have kept other positions for 1 to 5 years and my résumé looks "normal," although the issue of job references can become tricky. One job I vacated after two weeks because I hated my manager and realized it wasn't going to be a fit. I got drunk and was so hungover I just called in and quit. I got fired a few months ago but it was welcomed. I'm probably going to leave my current role in hopes of something better (pay, benefits) coming along. None of this I'm proud of and I can't pinpoint exactly what my issue is. Likely that I don't have an actual career focus and always try to change fields. It's caused so much stress and anxiety and I envy people who are at thier job for 5+ years.

I'm unemployed and if I become homeless I'll kill myself.

I did everything that was "expected" of my by society in my 20's, 30's and early 40's. Had steady relationships, was monogamous, had a long-term job at a prestigious company where I stayed for 20 years.

Then I just got tired of all of the bullshit. I left the company and took a part time job, started randomly hooking up and spending more time with my family and friends.

And you know what? I'm much happier now than I have been in a very long time. Yet I still feel guilty for spending the money I saved while I was working and for enjoying my life.

How fucked up is THAT?

[quote]Yet I still feel guilty for spending the money I saved while I was working and for enjoying my life. How fucked up is THAT?

Not very fucked up, actually.

It turns out I have been literally inhaling my food. I'm not sure how to stop it.

When I was a teenager (14 to about 18) I tasted my father's cum a lot. Really. I waited until I heard him go to the bathroom after fucking his girlfriend (later my step mother). We had one bathroom upstairs in the hallway. I'd dig in the trash and find the condom. I'd drink his cum then put on the used condom and jerk till I came. I tasted 2 of my cousin's cum the same way. This happened in the late 70s. Later in the late 80s, I realized how fucked up this was since AIDS was really an issue then. Looking back, I guess I also tasted my step mother's pussy juice too.

R51

*barf*

I watched the Commonwealth Games opening and could only think: I want him in me, quite deeply.

Jesus, r51, I'm *eating* here.

Ha, R53, all I could think was: shit, the Proclaimers are coming out next.

I absolutely hate my job. But, I make a decent salary, work from home, and have great benefits. I get a knot in stomach every day.

I don't want to work anywhere else, I just want to retire (but don't have enough money saved).

R56, does working from home ease how much you hate it at all? I totally get it, though.

R57, it does help a little. But, my anxiety level is through the roof, lately, I've been getting stoned to help with it. Still gave the knot though

I work in a huge company and work directly with demanding executives and a toxic culture.

That was me, too, r58. I saved and saved and they offered me a severance package so I took it.

I now have a part time job and I'm much more relaxed and happier than I have ever been. I stopped taking prozac and ambien. I don't need them anymore.

I'm 15 lbs underweight and I like the attention I'm getting.

I hate white women, but smile in their faces all day long.

I am going out this weekend and actively planning on sucking anonymous cock in public.

[You do realize that this is a troll, right? It does not believe what it posts. It just craves attention. You might want to stop talking to it.]

I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die.

R63, you did more than anyone could ever possibly expect a nine-year-old to do. The guilt should be ours, collectively, for ever accepting a culture where someone like your sister is treated like the guilty party by being put into foster care while someone like your father gets off virtually scot-free.

You have no reason to feel guilty.

What happened to your dad, r63?

I liked the movie version of "Jersey Boys." I saw it twice.

Thanks r48

I sometimes enjoy the flavor and texture of my boogers.

I use my iPhone to secretly record men standing at urinals and urinating and/or masturbating in public bathrooms. I have recorded over 40 men this year.

As for the other confession I will have to wait until the statute of limitation runs out.

[You do realize that this is a troll, right? It does not believe what it posts. It just craves attention. You might want to stop talking to it.]

R71: Do you and your sister live near each other? I think the two of you should try some family counseling together with someone who is experienced in dealing with sex abuse trauma and healing.

You share both a sibling bond and a terrible abuse bond that someone else may be able to help you with. You deserve to have a close relationship despite the painful history that it might force into the present.

If I didn't have to leave the house for work, groceries, etc... I never would. Depression?

Growing up I was teased unmercifully at school and never spoke up or defended myself. Today, I overcompensate to the point where it has cost me jobs, friends, etc.

I actually hate confrontation but will not hesitate to engage if I feel slighted or am not due what is mine.

I am over $100K in student loan debt and don't know how to escape. I make $12/hr and 1/4 of that is taken by the gov't to cover my loans.

I've embezzled, sold my ass for money, shoplifted, etc... and feel no real guilt. I don't get a rush off of it but just the satisfaction that I have saved a few bucks that will buy me a movie or help pay a bill that week.

I have no real contact with my family aside from my mother. They are all super religious and loathe me for being gay and having gotten an education past high school. My birthday is in a few weeks and I'll spend it just with my mother a very few close friends. My family wouldn't even come last year because they said they were through with me. You know what...it was the best birthday I had celebrated in ages. No fake small talk, no having to listen about church bullshit... just pleasant times.

I really didn't see my life going in this direction. I'll be 38, have no savings, live paycheck to paycheck and am just fucking tired of living. I don't want to die but I don't want to live either. I had so many hopes, dreams and potential but the last 15 years have really just fucked me over.

The only enjoyment I get out of life is watching tv/movies, listening to music and my cats (whom I feel like I am actually able to get unconditional love from).

Omg, you are all very evil homosexuals.

The only thing bad I ever did was suck my partner's straight8 brother's dick and swallowed his cum.

I have a high ranking role with an LGBT rights organization, but I emphatically disagree with the transgender part. All of it. I find the movement built on lie after lie. Much of it is homophobic and anti feminist.

If my organization knew this, I would be pushed out. The T is suddenly dominant and you have to go along if you want to get along. It makes no difference if you've put in years fighting for GLB rights, as I have. If you don't fight for T, using their play book to a tee, then you are said to be a bigot.

I didn't sign up to fight for T rights. I'm looking for new work because I can't continue supporting that which I don't believe in.

I can sometimes tell the future, see the end of routes.

I never say things outright to people or online, I sometimes try and make people see their own paths. Mostly I avoid saying anything because I feel I have no right to and I'm not always correct. Paths can change.

Mostly I get bits of information, but last year I had a very vivid vision about our future and the darkness in certain groups of people and how it was spreading. I never told about this to anyone, I'm even afraid of writing it here, because the truth is so horrible. It was like looking into the eye of darkness.

Since then I have changed my outlook on life. You could say I have turned a bit new agey, but now I get some psychics' "fluffy" talk. I can't outright say what I know, so I try to connect people to goodness so they can see and recognize, hopefully, the evil.

R15 my dog died 6 months ago and I think about joining her every day.

I am a total New Age nutjob. I keep to myself (in order to avoid being bothered by other people and their whining about how miserable they are) and spend most of my spare time doing New Age stuff like: Meditating, thinking positive thoughts, writing lists about things I appreciate, look for and document positive experiences, eat healthy food, work out, etc.

I hadn't sex with someone else for 15 years and I masturbate two or three times a day to gay porn (usually Sean Cody clips).

Out of curiosity I went into the so called Deep Web, which is supposed to be so very big, dark (gory images), and depressing, but (for some cosmic reason?) barely any link worked for me (apparently there are no automatic search engines like google and therefore you have to add your super secret page to some directory list and in order to avoid being caught by officials they delete their page after a few days or weeks) and I gave up on that venture (deleted my special Deep Web browser that allows you some extra level of anonymity).

I sometimes cry at the sad posts on DL and want to reach out to the posters but I usually don't, in case some big bully starts attacking me for being naive or a frau or a MARY!

R63 as a victim of child sexual abuse, although not by a member of my family, let me assure you it's not your fault. And it's unlikely your sister blames you. At nine you were as helpless as she was and as a teenager you were still living inside the house with the monster. It would have been frightening to deal with that overwhelming situation. If you can, over time, become closer to your sister that would probably benefit both of you, but that's up to you guys. I know people have advised counselling and that might work for you. Personally I dont want to relive the horror in a counseling session. I prefer to look forward rather than back. If I had the chance, the only thing i'd do is tell my perpetrator straight to his evil face how much I loathe him because that truely would help me. But if your sister needs counseling that's your sisters decision.

Seriously though, stop blaming yourself, you didn't do this. Your dad did. It's his fault and his fault alone.

R79 Don't ever be sorry for caring and don't let name calling stop you. Kindness is always remembered.

R80 well said

R51 makes George Costanza's foray into the garbage seem harmless.

One of my siblings apologized to me, for not protecting me from a family member who sexually abused me as a child.

Never once did I hope for or expect him to protect me. That would have been like expecting a people with no food to feed me. I recognized his powerlessness (and my own) early on.

Although I was surprised that he felt bad that it went on - I took this to mean on some level he cared about me. So that sentiment was welcome when it came. And it came 40 years later.

I know what you're talking about, R76. I am starting to see "the split".

And to any kid who was abused , I think part of the damage is believing you had more control or more of a voice at that age than is possible. Anyone who gets sexual with a child is fucking gross and evil. There are more than I thought, given this Jimmy Saville, Sandusky et al information leaking into the mainstream. EVIL!

R73: you sound a lot like me. Wishing us both some better times ahead.

R76: I am curious to hear more of your thoughts. Do you get any vibe from posters on this board?

I got a straight guy drunk so I could suck his cock. I used everclear and when he sobered up enough to protect himself, he seemed to think he had been taken advantage of. That was the end of it though.

I've been fooling around with a married guy, married to a woman, for years. He thinks I only fool around with him, but no.

Once in a while he floats the idea of a threesome with a woman and I say no. He is very closeted.

Early on he suggested it and I said what about a threesome with all three guys. He seemed interested so I set it up. And he chickened out.

Then it happened a few more times, with him declining each time, always at the last minute.

Now he is suggesting it again and I am suddenly feeling too insecure to follow through.

Let's just say that someone I was close to who was a hopeless alcoholic took a tumble down the steps late at night and didn't recover from the fall. It proved a relief to all involved. And there was an inheritance. And no one ever knew I had been there.

Wow, R88 wins!

I used to sniff my uncle's dirty underwears. the smell was amazing.

I don't think I'm talanted enough to read people online accurately, R85.

I might get a feel or an image in my head, but I don't think I'm good enough to voice it and start giving advice. Honestly, I don't want to delve too much into reading people. I feel it violates people's privacy. No human being is perfect. We all lie and act selfish at times. As long as it's not done with the intent to hurt anybody, there's usually nothing wrong with it. Accepting people are not perfect is quite liberating. Sometimes I see how fragile people are inside and how a kind word can change their day for the better, and I think what an amazing thing it is that I can make someone smile with a simple act of kindness. That's celebrating life.

And then there's people who celebrates death. Not in the emo way, but in the dark, soulless way.

See, I sound weird when I confess. You don't need a funny person online telling you good luck, but I'll say it anyway.

*R91=R76.

I post at Datalounge

R91, you sound a decent sort who's just very sensitive to others' personalities. And some people do have very unpleasant , disordered personalities that it's useful to be alert around.

I had a friend who once confided in me that he was secretly a Prince on a planet very far away. His girlfriend there had cheered on him, so he needed to have her executed for treason, but since there was a taboo in his culture against killing someone you've slept with, he had to find another way. That "way" was to swap bodies with the human who was then speaking with me. The human went to his home planet and adopted his alien body, and killed that Jesibelle. He said he'd never told a soul about it before, though he had done the body swap a decade earlier.

How do you keep a friendship going after hearing that?

I ended a toxic relationship a year a half. 3 months later, i advertised for a deep tissue massage on Craigslist (no really, that's what i was looking for - i have persistent lower back pain, and didn't have the money for massages or bodywork).

I received a few answers, and one person seemed legit - he was a long distance runner, he knew about massage and had done some on the side. He sent a pic and didn't look like a creeper. We made arrangements for him to come to my apartment. He was cute in his photo, better looking in person though.

Halfway through the massage, i was becoming seriously aroused. i've had dozens of massages from men and women, but have never had that reaction before. I could tell he knew...he ended the massage with his fingers stroking daringly close to places we hadn't discussed. When i got up, he sat on the bed with me while i recovered. We looked at each other, and he leaned in for a carress, and then a kiss. i had to go to event, so we didn't go any further. We ended up having sex the second time he came over.

We hook up about every 4 - 6 weeks. I don't know his last name or where he lives, but i do know he has a girlfriend who apparently doesn't give him sex. We don't use a condom. I have asked him outright if he sees anyone else, and when he says no, i believe him. Maybe i'm naive.

I will continue to see him, even though i nothing about him except the sex is intense, intimate and satisfying, and that every time i see him walking up my steps, my stomach jumps in anticipation. I'm not in love, i just need to be touched, held and fucked by someone. He fits the bill for now.

He does fuck his girlfriend, and you should not kid yourself about that, and you should be using a condom R96.

I still miss my ex because he was physically everything I ever wanted. He's not smart and doesn't have much to offer besides his good looks, big dick, and great body. And he was great in bed.

It's been 10 years. I compare everyone to him and it's awful. I've turned down relationships with men who were perfectly great guys but didn't measure up physically in the same ways as my ex.

Beware of being involved with someone who is your physical ideal.

God I'm stupid - and what's worse, I would never take my ex back - ever.

r95 - OMG. more please. How did you keep that friendship going?? What kind of job did he have? How long did you know each other? Any details.

Testing

R76 and r85 I can sometimes read people's minds and it can be unnerving.

I don't consciously do it and I can't do it all of the time but it happens. It's weird and hard to explain but I "just know" what someone is thinking.

It seems to run in the family.

I really relate to you R73. Especially your 2nd to last paragraph. I'm around your age. I still believe there has to be better times and hopefully some fulfilled dreams ahead.

Yes, r98!

"Beware of being involved with someone who is your physical ideal."

The exact same thing happened to me. It's awful!

My friend was half-Japanese and half Portuguese. He insisted that he was more Portuguese than not, though. Perhaps the "bigger half" was Portuguese? (Likewise, every Hispanic I've ever been friends with has insisted that they're Spanish, not some mongrel with Mezo lineage.) This always makes me a little sad, as it suggests some unhappiness they have with an immutable characteristic, and also because it seems to be very important to them, but makes no difference to me.

My friend was a computer programmer and we both worked for the same company. We had a company message board (the company made message boards, essentially), just for G&L employees. (Trans, Queers, and others didn't exist yet - it was that long ago, I jest). Well, my friend posted on the board about wanting to "measure Marky Mark with his tongue" (I said it was a long time ago), and that did not necessarily go to his advantage. I think he left the company shortly thereafter.

The reason he confided in me was that on a previous point in time, he pounced unexpectedly on me. I just wanted a friend to hang with, not anything "more", so I but the kibosh on the aforementioned pounce. He related that nobody had ever turned him down before (more delusional thinking), so he felt that he could then trust me. (Hmm, why, exactly?)

I either asked him directly, or maybe subtly, if the alien-body swap occurred about when he "came-out" and he related that he did. He also changed the name he used, swapping "Chris" for "Topher"*. One doesn't need to be Freud to figure out that he could only come-out by changing his name and having someone else, like the "Alien", responsible for acting sexually.

I did always wonder if he, or his alien-self, had gone ahead and murdered some old girlfriend. Not on Zanadu, but here on Earth, I mean.

After he left our employer, and after he moved out of the city, I no longer saw him. We did spend a long weekend in Paris, and shared a room, but nothing weird (weirder?) happened. We were friends for maybe a couple years. I can't imagine he's not dead or In an institution by now.

My first boyfriend turned out to be a murder; however, but that is another story.

* not his real name(s)

[all posts by fucking cunt troll deleted.]

sometimes when im alone, i have conversations with myself, out loud. only about things that are causing me problems. like a backstabbing friend or being taken advantage of at work.

Portuguese aren't Hispanic.

I'm dependent on Ambien, Restoril and Lunesta. Got them from our clinic expired drug samples which should have been disposed of but I took them home anyway. About 200 pills. Just took 12.5 mg ambien. I'm floating in air. Trouble reading DL posts because everything looks 3D.

When I was 15, my mother had me forge my dad's signature on some papers. The only time I ever wrote his name, was on my excuse notes for school, when I ditched. My mom knew about that, so she thought I could put this "talent" to use.

She sits down and says that we are going to lose the house if I don't. She let me see the papers, and there it was. Clear as day. Literally had X amount of days left. So I signed whatever she put infront of me.

She had me forge his signature again a few more times. She never let me see what I was signing this time. She told me to write or else.

Some of those papers were for loans. Not all were, but there was a few. I don't recall how many she took out. She eventually was busted. After I don't know how many times, the bank called his phone, and he was fucking livid. He had no clue what she was doing. He flat out told the person at the bank to void it. He did not sign those papers. My poor dad. Had I known, I would never ever have done that to him. Our relationship is not the greatest because of that.

R104, your first boyfriend was a murderer? tell us about it.

I bullied a classmate in middle school.

Had him sign my and several others' yearbooks with his name and then, "your friendly faggot"

R104, either you really suck at telling a story or your former co-worker is nothing more than a goofy nerd (much like you). So, lemme get this straight, …. he had a crush on Marky Mark and posted it on a message board, he confided in you and tried to get in your pants, and he changed his name when he came out? That's it? And now you think he could have murdered someone and is probably in an institution or dead? What major part of the story did you leave out? And how is that lame story YOUR big confession.

And this:

[quote]He insisted that he was more Portuguese than not, though. Perhaps the "bigger half" was Portuguese? (Likewise, every Hispanic I've ever been friends with has insisted that they're Spanish, not some mongrel

LOL. Portuguese are not Spanish.

R86, why would you want to suck the flaccid "whisky dick" of some passed out straight guy?

I would crush up several xanax mix it in my dads dinner & get him to drink wine & me & girlfriend would have sex with him. I would fuck his ass & she would give him head then ride his fatcock

I still hate my ex-Manager from a job I had 2 years ago. I sometime fantasize about him dying slowly, like over a few months. Slowly bleeding out and in significant pain. I want to watch every second of his pain.

r115 - don't fantasize, do something about it.

Stay safe, stay legal.

[quote] Just took 12.5 mg ambien. I'm floating in air. Trouble reading DL posts because everything looks 3D.

No worries, [R108]. You won't remember this in the morning.

R112, you commented on R104, which was the second part of a story. The first part was R95, in which I wrote that my friend believed that he swapped bodies with an alien, for the purposes of murder. I meant to make the link in Part 2 to Part 1, but the link got overwritten after I drafted and redrafted the post. If you reread the two posts in order, I hope that the story will then conform to your requirements and make better sense to you.

To clarify, I also didn't actually write that the Portuguese are Hispanic, I only noted that my half-Japanese/Portuguese friend was unhappy with his Japanese ancestry, and compared it to the Hispanic friends I have, who likewise seem to be unhappy with some portion of their ancestry. If my friend was half German/Polish, but insisted that his ancestry was "really mostly German", I might still have made the same comparison. In any event, as I previously wrote, it seems to matter more to others, even others on this thread, than it does to me, what someone's ancestry is.

Thank you for posting the follow up to your story (about the friend who "confessed" he was part alien.)

He seems quite troubled. That tale would have been a lot different coming from, say, a highly successful investment banker with a wife and kids.

I once befriended a 92 year old woman I met through Meals on Wheels and once I gained her trust,systematically looted her 2 story,crammed to the rafters with antiques,gorgeous Victorian home.She had no relatives and was going to leave it all to the Bahais. Since I felt they were a cult,I felt perfectly justified in stealing all her Tiffany silver,paintings,objets de arte,rugs,etc. She lived in 2 rooms and never ventured into the rest of the house,and had no help such as maids or caretakers. Im going to burn in hell,I know it,so don't condemn me. Can we ever make up for our past ?

R120, I don't think that's "burn in hell"-worthy, if it makes you feel any better.

Maybe I'm just immoral, but most of these confessions don't seem as bad as posters think they are. Except for Nomi Malone at R88, that's pretty weird.

I feel like R73. His story is MUCH worse than mine, but I relate to his feeling of not wanting to die/not really wanting to live. I just feel that it wouldn't be a big deal if I was gone. I just don't see the point, when everyday is the same thing. If I was gone my niece would have a nice nest egg and my feelings of boredom and malaise would go away. Win-win.

On Datalounge you can get away with killing someone or stealing antiques from old people, as long as your not a Teabagger.

Oh,Im hell bound R121 . I also am R23. I was a HORRIBLE person and hurt many people.Im terrified of karma. But thanks for that thought.

[quote] your first boyfriend was a murderer? tell us about it.

R110, In my Sophomore year in college, I came out, and was rooming with John, a 6'2", blond hair, well endowed, straight, runner. One Saturday night, I got back from "the bar" around 2 am and he was already in bed and awake. We talked as I got ready for bed. I then approached the bunk bed in my usual manner so as to vault to the top bunk, but instead I raised his blanket and told him to "move over". To my surprise, he did. I'm 6'2" as well, and this was a "single" sized bed, so we were all over each other. And so began our love affair. We moved together to Ptown the following Summer, and so ended our love affair. He broke-up with me within a couple weeks.

I had heard rumors that John was a killer, but ignored the gossip. His high school years seemed so far in the past. I only got the detail many years later. When John was in high school, he was put on trial for the sexual assault and murder of a female neighbor, also of high school age. He was found not guilt, but apparently, it was because the police bolloxed-up the investigation. John then dropped usage of his first name, and started using his middle name, as a way to put the past behind him and hide in plain sight.

If you Goggle him today, you'll find he's now an attorney with an office in Times Square, earning $250,000+ per year. He married his college sweetheart (not me, incidentally), they have two daughters, and he vacations on Martha's Vineyard. I know all this because the family of the murdered girl posts info about him online, including scanned images of the newspaper articles about the trial.

Strangely, his brother later worked for my father for a few years. I also had gone on a date with his wife, before he met her. We had gone to see Itzach Perlman. My brother was later in his law school class. Strange coincidences. It's also a little creepy that I've known two guys, (there is actually a third, but that's another story), who changed their name in relation to a sexual-related murder.

As an aside, when I was rooming with John, at one point I suspected that my dormmates had changed their attitude towards me. Later, one told me that someone had overheard John & I going at it, and they somehow knew that we were alone in the room, so we outed ourselves. There was some minor hostility from the others after that, but I left that dorm at the end if the year, and joined a commune for the next school year.

Do I think John did it? I don't really know. What I can say is that he constantly had a male or female sexual partner in series, but never seemed to be emotionally attached to anyone.

I love fisting a hot hole. It's so warm and lovely. I'm not sick, I just love pounding man pussy with my hand.

R126, would you describe it please? Very curious myself.

R124, I can see why your manager committing suicide would bother you, but you don't know, she might have had other problems too. I think stealing from the deceased is not as bad as being deliberately cruel to the living. If you're worried about karma, maybe you should try to do some good deeds with the time you have left on this earth. Volunteer, donate money, seek out those who really need some help. Just my two cents. I wish you good luck and peace of mind.

I sublet an apartment in Paris last summer and the owner treated me abominably with no justification. My ulcer came back as a result of this situation. Before leaving, I put urine in some gourmet mustard she had left in the fridge. I am only sorry it wasn't shit.

I like sniffing the crotch of my friends brothers worn boxers.

"I have asked him outright if he sees anyone else, and when he says no, i believe him. Maybe i'm naive."

R96, he's a massage therapist. He fucks LOTS of people, not just his probably fictional girlfriend.

Don't be stupid.

R130 we have all sniffed the crotch of your friends brothers worn boxers.

I had a crush on a director who visited an acting class I was in when I was 16. I went to Philly with him when he was directing a dinner theater there. He had no feelings for me, maybe because he was 34 but he thought I was talented and wanted me to experience dinner theater. I functioned as his assistant (I really didn't do much but he gave me that title so I'd get a small paycheck). We, the cast and crew, were staying at a hotel. He went out one night and left me in his room to answer some of his mail.

I spent most of the night rubbing all his personal items against me (no masturbating, just the thrill of his stuff that close to me) and I sucked on his toothbrush. I know there are bigger deals in this world but I always felt ashamed of doing that since he certainly had no feelings for me and I knew at the time that he didn't and never would.

I also really hated the guy who was the male lead in the show because it was obvious he was the one my crush was into.

P.S. I got a really bad sore throat from his toothbrush as I didn't know he was coming down with something. Man how I wished I was old enough to drive and had a car so I could go back to NYC instead of spending another 3 weeks in that unrequited love hell. I was sorry my dad gave permission for me to go.

Oh and I never did become an actor. I decided that life wasn't for me at 17 1/2. I went on to study to become a teacher instead. I never did that either. I ended up a caterer then executive chef. I discovered cooking was my true love. That lasted until I became too disabled to stand on my feet for 16 hours a day but it was a good run while it lasted and I still love to cook but can't too much because I can't stand on my feet for too long. I can walk a few short blocks but standing still, reaching, bending and lifting is a killer for me

I sometimes Google this director. He did okay, he's no big deal director. I check mostly to see if he's still alive as he would be near 80 by now. I still blush when I think of what an idiot desperate and stupid kid I was. I realize now he was nothing special, just some older guy who took singled me out telling me I was talented and I must have loved the attention. My dad worked 2 full time jobs and was never home. I had no mom and I was an only child. It was probably a father thing because now I can't remember what I saw in him. The toothbrush thing makes me the most ashamed. As an adult I know I'd have been horrified if I found out someone I really didn't know that well had used my toothbrush. Yuck!

Sorry for this long boring post. I already took an Ambien and sometimes it makes me babble on and on.

r133, are you Robin/the poverty troll?

R76, tell us more about what you've seen about the future - maybe we can help change it!

The Ryan Carnes: still hot thread is the latest covert soap thread.

Nothing covert about it.

[quote]I don't consciously do it and I can't do it all of the time but it happens. It's weird and hard to explain but I "just know" what someone is thinking. It seems to run in the family.

So r101 have you ever actually told someone that you knew what he or she was thinking and it turns out you were correct? And this has happened more than once?

If not, and it is something you 'just know' it sounds more like a cognitive disorder.

I've had this too. It is no cognitive disorder. It made going out into the world a phantasmagoric experience for a while - and I don't use drugs. I started meditating and learned to put up my psychic boundaries. Now I'm getting better with it. It has to do with people's energy fields, their "morphic resonance" as Rupert Sheldrake calls it.

I expect a kind of Biblical split - the kind, unselfish rise, while the greedy, reptilian brain, thieving, raping type will experience spectacular falls

[quote]It made going out into the world a phantasmagoric experience for a while - and I don't use drugs.

You say you've 'had this too'. Have you had feelings you could read someone's thoughts, and then told people point-blank "You just thought XYZ!" and they confirmed you were correct?

What you describe sounds like a psychotic break, aka mental illness. The biblical 'good vs evil' language is another tipoff. I hope you can get a professional evaluation.

Yes, R140, I have. My friend's wife shouted, "how did you know? HOW?" when I "jumped" ahead in an account of my friend's workday. My friend was unnerved, not in a good way. People feel stripped. During phone conversations, I have known things my family withheld from me, then comes the volley of questions as to which family member told me. I have been evaluated, but they don't understand. They put me on benzos that made me extremely doped up. Meditation fixed it. There is evil in the world, you know. But imagine this - what if you could see it? See the potential? That would shut it down, the fulfillment of many prophecies. I know you're blocked on this - you're in the pharam/psych paradigm, and that's fine. You can't eat animals and experience this, either. Don't judge me, and I won't judge you.

Look everyone, it's fucking Cindy Brady at R136.

[quote] I know you're blocked on this - you're in the pharam/psych paradigm, and that's fine. You can't eat animals and experience this, either. Don't judge me, and I won't judge you.

You just did judge me. you 'know' i'm blocked on this because i'm in the pharm/psych paradigm?

And I didn't judge you. I just asked some questions. But my questions trigger some pretty harsh presumptions on your part.

He's nuts, r143. Your best bet is to just ignore him.

On my Xtube profile, I have three videos of me sucking the same guy's dick on different occasions. He's holding the camera (a phone) while I get him to nut on my face twice and once in my mouth. Here's the confession: the third video was recorded two days after he won an Emmy.

I am a flight attendant(female) and back in 2002 I was flying a trip which had a 24 hour layover in downtown Salt Lake City. On the flight into SLC we served a nice "deluxe" snack in coach, which consisted of a packaged sandwich, fresh fruit, decent cheese and water biscuits, bottled water and a dessert such as cookies or a brownie. There were always a ton of them left untouched, so I would load them into a shopping bag and take them to my layover hotel. I had met some very friendly, hungry homeless men who would sleep in the stairwells of the 4 star hotel we stayed in due to the chilly weather. I have no idea how they got in or how they got away with it. I became somewhat friendly with a handful of them, so I would bring the packaged food to them every trip. They were very grateful, and they never asked me for money in addition to the food. I cannot remember the exact month, but I think it may have been Dec. I was having a conversation with one of the guys, and I brought up the topic of the missing and presumed murdered or kidnapped Elizabeth Smart. My "friend" casually told me, "oh she's fine. She lives with a group of us in a squat in the hills." I was shocked and I asked(I didn't believe it) why he didn't report her location to the police as an informant and thereby collect the reward. He said that she was a good girl who hated her family, particularly her parents, and she never wanted to see them again. While he did not say it specifically, I inferred that there might be an abuse situation involved. The LDS families are known to have an above average problem with incest between father and daughter. I am an incest survivor myself, so I might have been projecting and I admit that. Whatever the reason, I decided to keep it to myself. Honestly, I still wasn't convinced that it was a true story. And my feeling was that IF it were true, and this guy was willing to forego the 6 figure reward in order to protect her, there might be a good reason why she left. Several months later when she was discovered in Sandy, Utah I realized that he was telling the truth. I have been conflicted ever since then as to whether or not I should have stepped in at the time. By the way, the guy was absolutely NOT that nutcase who she was spiritually "married" to. He wasn't even a Mormon.

Wow, R146. I considered that when all that went down. It was an obvious, unasked question: "What if she didn't WANT to go back home?" I am also aware of the higher rate of incest in Mormon families - actually it isn't Mormons specifically, but cloistered sects with home schooling, etc. It's a good cover.

Nice of you to give them food.

When I was a kid, I was able to tell the immediate future, at times. I was so accurate, and being a Catholic, I readily felt guilty about it. And so I lost it; or at least I thought I had, completely.

Then, a few years ago, I was visiting two lesbian friends when I lived in San Francisco. The news came on. It featured Andrew Cuanan. I told them that he would commit suicide. Immediately, they spoke up denying it. They indicated he was too good at assuming disguises, etc.

Once in a while I believe I can foresee something, but not as accurately as when I was a kid.

I'm addicted to pain pills -- Vicodin and Tramadol. I suffer from severe social anxiety and depression and it makes me feel good, positive about my shitty life. Here's the guilt part: the Vicodin is my own prescription, but the Tramadol is my mother's scrip -- she's elderly and has very painful hips -- so I steal from her supply.

And I'm pretty sure she knows, and doesn't do anything to stop me.

I did it.

R120, you're in good company. The top expert on Tiffany, Alastair Duncan, hired a criminal grave robber to remove Tiffany windows from mausoleums in Brooklyn. He was caught and his defense was that he was saving them from certain destruction by vandals in that rough area. Trouble was, he sold them to Japanese museums and collectors for a lot of money, so he was imprisoned for 2 years, in his mid-60s. The story would make a great film, or even better, a modern opera.

I don't know what I would have done in your place. I envy you!

I'm a female...I went on a date with a guy within the company I worked for who was 19 yrs older than me when I was 21. He was well off but not RICH.(Ivy grad...you know the rest). I did not see anything there after a few dates but he persisted. He suggested that since I was a student and he was busy we could have a mutually beneficial relationship. So, for 7 years we did. He insisted on keeping a chart where he tracked everything I wore when I visited, what we talked about, he kept track of every dime (approximately. 210k) he ever gave me with a spreadsheet because it turned him on....we got together 2-3x per mth. On many occasions all he wanted to do was go down on me. when I was house sitting for a period of two months I discovered that he was also saving strands of my hair. He made me the beneficiary on his life insurance policy and told me that I'm the closest person in the world to him. I actually hate him....while he is actually attractive and in shape, his personality is insufferable. I can't believe that he doesn't see that. Like he is way hard to deal with. We no longer sleep together because we both relocated but I still have to entertain his emails(I'm very good at pretending) and for that, my boyfriend and I have gone on several vacations(nothing extravagant...Toronto, Caribbean, South America) with the money he's generous enough to randomly deposit every few months.

My bf has no idea and he never will, I'm sure he would hate me. I don't even need the money anymore, but it's addictive and when he dies I'll have a nice cushion. He always keeps his word...if he doesn't, nothing lost.

I know that he's crazy bc of sexual abuse as a child so he can't have a healthy relationship...I feel guilty for taking advantage but not really.

R79 I have this ability to "see" people who post mean things. So, let me tell you that guys who attack posters who are simply being sincere by calling them names, like MARY, all tend to be fat. I mean really fat.

So, just keep that image in mind if someone attacks you. You'll see in time that it doesn't bother you at all. You might even ben tempted to offer them some dietary advice. (Don't do it!)

To add, we did break things off for a year because I fell in love. I certainly wasn't giving up my 20s for that crap. So technically it was 6 years.

R152, you're a whore, darling.

It worked for me. I graduated college with no debt. I went through my 20s with no credit card problems. In those shallow years I could buy designer bags and do all the crap young ppl want to do. I grew up middle class but my parents still helped fund expenses and I've always worked. So I basically had three forms of income. I have a great career now, couldn't be happier. Sometimes I felt gross, but meh...I wouldn't tell my friends about this ever.

No judgments here R15/R156.

R76 = eyeroll. It doesn't take being a "psychic" (lol, please) to see what direction humans and society are headed in.

I think I'm asexual, I love kissing and cuddling, but hate everything else. In fact, I would rather transcribe the entire content of freerepublic.com by hand, than pick up some stranger for casual sex.

R159, even masturbation? It could be a hormonal imbalance.

I went to The Cock last night and fucked a guy bareback. Although I didn't suck any dick in public like I thought in r62. I am/was HIV negative. Should I be concerned?

R161 It's great to know The Cock is still there, it's been years since I've been there, great times, filthy place.

A very close friend died years back. I had keys to his place, and before his mother came (from another state) to get his stuff, another friend and I went into his place.

Of course, we got all the porn out. But then William, his other friend, started suggesting that we take a few other things as well.

I took his new-ish vacuum cleaner and put my older one in his place, and took a few other small things. William wiped out a fair amount of his stuff, though it still wasn't noticeable.

I still feel very guilty about that, though my friend was quite a character and probably would have done it himself.

R149 how much Tramadol do you use? I take it on occasion nut it doesn't do much at all, but that's what they will give me for joint pain.

r164, I'll take two 50 mg tablets, then two more an hour later. My understanding is that, unlike Vicodin, which works on masking the pain, Tramadol works by just making you feel "good" -- the pain is still there, but you can tolerate it more.

I DO have pain -- I was a passenger in a car accident about four years ago and I have occasional pain flare-ups in my lower right back/hip area; sometimes, if I move the wrong way, it can be quite crippling for a few days.

But I'm taking the Tramadol/Vicodin combo even on days when I'm not in pain, simply because I've become accustomed (addicted) to the pleasant, almost blissful feeling it creates: it really helps me tolerate my boring cubical job.

And I've never been an addict before; I genuinely don't care for alcohol (the last time I had a drink was over a year ago), and I've never tried anything "harder" than marijuana, and that only for a while in my 20s (back in the 90s).

I know I should stop and face life soberly, but I'm scared. I tried to stop a few months back and that week I was so angry, frustrated, depressed and suicidal that I caved and started back on the pills.

Ha,I wrote the BOOK on looting dead people R163. As per my earlier posts,I was stealing from a 92 year old woman who had no family. I met the lawyer who hired me to secure homes of those who died without heirs or who's heirs were out of state or overseas when I was selling some of her stuff at an antique shop. I spent 100s of 1000s of dollars that I stole on drugs,parties,men and stupid shit like $500 shirts and expensive jewelry. None of wich I now have. My lover of 12 years died in a car accident,my second lover of 7 years died from MS,and Im convinced karma will get me in the end. I stopped that life when I met my first true love(the 12 year guy) and from the time I met him till he died,lived my life "respectably",and Ive never stolen or scammed anyone again. All that was 20+ years ago,and Ive lived a decent life since,but I lay awake at nights sometimes so very afraid of what I did.

Enough with the fucking soothsaying posts.

Let's hear something raunchy or shocking or at least intriguing.

R149: Why don't you go to a shrink and get something that is supposed to treat the conditions you listed? It is really hard to get off that shit you are taking, but you can do it with replacement meds. Plus, your mom is in pain!

You do have me beat, R166. I guess it's more my own guilt than anything else, but no one was hurt by what we did. The shit was so small and insignificant.

We didn't take the TV, or anything that the family would have truly been able to benefit from, or anything personal (other than porn, obviously).

[all posts by fucking cunt troll deleted.]

[You do realize that this is a troll, right? It does not believe what it posts. It just craves attention. You might want to stop talking to it.]

[quote]I know I should stop and face life soberly, but I'm scared. I tried to stop a few months back and that week I was so angry, frustrated, depressed and suicidal that I caved and started back on the pills.

r149, you need to taper off, with professional help. Those drugs are the best, and also the worst.

R169, hope you don't get it.

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Or aggressive about avoiding it altogether!

r173 do you think you had it in the back of your mind that having PEP drugs available made barebacking OK?

How well did you know the guy? were you drunk/high at the time? I don't mean to pry but it would be useful for the rest of us to know how this happens.

[quote] I don't mean to pry but it would be useful for the rest of us to know how this happens.

I'm not R173 but I bet I would love getting barebacked by him. It's really simple. It's hot. It's primal. It's the closet connection you can physically have with someone.

Yes, I realize diseases suck (I don't have any) and I know it's stupid to even risk it, but barebacking is a fantasy hardwired into every human gay or straight because that's how nature intended for us to reproduce/mate.

I am in a sexless relationship against my will because my partner has become asexual or maybe he was always asexual and just pretended he wasn't at first. Maybe one of the soothsayers in this thread can tell me if I will ever have sex again or I should just kill myself.

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Sometimes when no one is looking I spit in my sister's chocolate milk.

R177, you will find another, someone who deserves you. you will be alright.

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I want to experience DVP with two guys, and have them fuck me silly.

Pssst!

Sometimes I'm Janbot.

Sometimes I'm Madbot.

Sometimes I'm Janbot and Madbot in the same thread.

Sometimes aliens abduct me but it's OK, we're friends.

R76, do you see me getting a full time teaching job?

r180 many thanks for your honesty. I'm not judging at all. I was just curious about circumstances leading up to it, which you generously provided.

I agree with r176's statement that 'It's really simple. It's hot. It's primal.' I think it's a mistake to try to spread the idea that condom sex is as hot as condomless sex. It sets up this idea that you can never do it, which is not true (and is deeply anti-gay).

The risk in barebacking is whether or not someone has HIV, more than whether condoms are used. It sounds like in your case the risk of transmission is very slight.

I'd be your bf R180 and you could fuck me raw all the time as long as you are into guys about 25 years younger. I like older guys.

[You do realize that this is a troll, right? It does not believe what it posts. It just craves attention. You might want to stop talking to it.]

Sometimes I lick bird doo-doo off the windshield of my car and pretend it's actually genuine Justin Bieber cum.

[You do realize that this is a troll, right? It does not believe what it posts. It just craves attention. You might want to stop talking to it.]

Tramadol worked on my chronic pain really well, but it's easy to develop a dependence in it, and when I decided to stop taking it, I had more rebound pain that I've ever experience. Even minutes were just intolerable. Fortunately I was able to kick it. Now I don't take it, because I don't think it's something I can take without developing another dependence.

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I'm a waiter at a very well known Michelin Star, James Beard award winning restaurant. Let me just say, never ever be rude to your waiter and we always remember shitty tippers. Give us a shitty tip this time and you will be getting the shitty tip next time. And I don't care how good of a wine expert you think you are...you will never taste the piss.

I use tampons to plug explosive diarrhea.

[You do realize that this is a troll, right? It does not believe what it posts. It just craves attention. You might want to stop talking to it.]

That's horrifying, R192 and it reinforces my fear of eating in restaurants.

How many servers do you think are sociopaths?

what percentage?

R187 lol I had to Wikipedia Abe Vigoda. Not that old. Your dick needs to still work. No one over 60.

[You do realize that this is a troll, right? It does not believe what it posts. It just craves attention. You might want to stop talking to it.]

Servers are not sociopaths. People are. Well most people. Somehow when you go out to eat, you think manners no longer exist.

99.9% of the time we are there to make sure you have a memorable experience. We work our asses off.

Lets put it this way. Do you really want to piss off the guy who is bringing you your food? Servers are not sociopaths, but chefs, and sous chefs?? well word of advice. Never send anything back.

[You do realize that this is a troll, right? It does not believe what it posts. It just craves attention. You might want to stop talking to it.]

[You do realize that this is a troll, right? It does not believe what it posts. It just craves attention. You might want to stop talking to it.]

Don't worry, there is no way a wait staff can piss into your wine without someone noticing. There are cameras everywhere. Also kitchen is small and always packed.

Please don't spit in my eggs! Please don't spit in my eggs!

[quote]Never send anything back.

I will absolutely send something back if it's wrong, or crappy.

I will never accept anything else that the kitchen tries to send out as a replacement, or return to that restaurant. Or pay for for their mistake.

You must eat a lot of snot then, Mister.

R201, I once worked with a guy who bragged about pissing into boxes of frozen meats in the walk-in freezer (no cameras there) just because he didn't like his manager.

But this is a confessions thread, so let's see … I once stole a couple of viagra from my dad. That's about it.

At the restaurant I used to work at in the 80s, during night time clean up, we'd all gather in the big walkin cooler to scarf up the fried shrimp that was left (it was a buffet) and get stoned huffing on those little propellant bullets used for making whipped cream.

The restaurant was CONSTANTLY running out of propellant and they didn't even have a hint why.

R192, eek! That makes me paranoid. Five years ago, I went to David Ortiz's restaurant, Big Papi's Grille here in MA (which has since closed down). I sent 5 dishes back, because it was terrible, though I wasn't an asshole about it. I did treat the staff with respect. But now I wonder...

This is not really a confession, because I had nothing to do with it, but I worked at a fairly famous fast-food chain restaurant in the '70s and our burgers, which were served in bags labeled "100% Beef" actually contained pork spleens as the second ingredient.

I apologize in advance because this is horrible and I hate this part of me. But i have internalized homophobia. When I see an eccentric gay dude, like Magic Johnson's son or any gays featured on Bravo for example theres a part of me that hates them. I don't know if its because i feel like theres a standard i have to live up to that I'm just not. Im really sorry if this offends anyone. Its not like I want these people dead or hurt but i just can connect with them and feel like some of them are putting on a show and are perpetuating stereotypes. Again, I'm really sorry if I offended anyone.

Yeah, like flamboyant Frankie on Big Brother who has single handedly set back gay rights by 30 years.

[You do realize that this is a troll, right? It does not believe what it posts. It just craves attention. You might want to stop talking to it.]

R159 I have to admit I'm sort of the same way. I mean, I've done the other stuff (except bottoming) but I don't care if I never suck another dick or fuck another ass. I could be happy just kissing and making out and jacking off.

I'm curious -- how old are you, and have you ever tried to do anything about your feelings? Or analyzed why you're that way? I think a lot of mine has to do with cleanliness and odor issues.

Some of these confessions are quite intriguing -- 146 and 152, for example.

Thanks [R211] when I say "standard" i mean as a man. Someone who's taken seriously and a provider. Someone who's not afraid of confrontation and can make decisions. I know this sounds incredibly sexist but its a fact of our world. I just feel that theres a huge difference of me being sexually attracted to , say Wentworth Miller, is different from me acting like a woman and wearing huh heels. pS- to he younger people reading his who are conflicted, please don't take this as me coming down on you. Be yourself. This is my own shit Im working through.

Sometimes while speaking with someone and looking polite and interested, my brain will think things like "you fat pig" and "take a look at those wrinkles" and "gosh you're ugly" or some horrible racial epitaph. As I do it I am horrified at myself and hope the person can't read my thoughts.

[You do realize that this is a troll, right? It does not believe what it posts. It just craves attention. You might want to stop talking to it.]

I ran over a turtle once.

R149, you can easily buy Tramadol online because it's not a controlled substance (yet). You just have to get it shipped from overseas and wait--so it's expensive. But do that instead of stealing them from your mother.

[You do realize that this is a troll, right? It does not believe what it posts. It just craves attention. You might want to stop talking to it.]

[You do realize that this is a troll, right? It does not believe what it posts. It just craves attention. You might want to stop talking to it.]

I lost my virginity to a guy when I was 57; he was 23

I am madly in love with a guy who has become my best friend over the past two years. We have a sexual relationship, but we're more than just fuck buddies. I was house sitting for him a few months ago and I snooped through one of his closets and found a CD with a ton of nude photos of him on a beach about ten years ago. I made a copy of the CD, and I've jerked off to the photos numerous times.

R222, what do you love about him?

[You do realize that this is a troll, right? It does not believe what it posts. It just craves attention. You might want to stop talking to it.]

Sit next to me R224, and we shall share.

I have traumatic masturbation syndrome. I've had it forever and I just can't shake it. It destroyed my relationship.

R224, do you mean Goobers?

R226, what is that?

I like it when the boogers are crispy, that your front teeth can bite into them.

[You do realize that this is a troll, right? It does not believe what it posts. It just craves attention. You might want to stop talking to it.]

Hotels. Nice people get really nice rooms, often being upgraded a few steps without ever knowing it. Asswholes get the worst I can come up with.

Twice I fucked gentlemen who had passed out. In my defense, both had the kind of asses you only dream of and had been reasonably romantic before.

going on two years, I find it impossible to get over an ex. it's preventing me from forming a decent relationship with someone else.

[You do realize that this is a troll, right? It does not believe what it posts. It just craves attention. You might want to stop talking to it.]

Cross the boarder?

I don't like Beyonce or Lady Gaga, and find that people who fans of either one of these ladies are brain-dead losers.

I have been avoiding my close friend all summer because he's depressed, and when he gets depressed he won't let anyone help him, and he becomes constantly irritable and hypercritical.

I've been down this road with him before two years ago. Nothing I do seems to help except to leave his problems alone, but that doesn't stop the criticisms and the irritability.

He has to solve his problems on his own this time, or go back to his therapist.

I love my gay friends dearly. My closest friend in college was gay and we adored each other. He died of Aids at the age of 36. His promiscuity was off the charts. My confession is that I find gay promiscuity disgusting and contemptible. I can't imagine anyone with self-respect ever behaving like that. The risk-taking appals me. Sticking your precious penis into some hole where a lunatic might hack it off? Exposing yourself to vile diseases?

I go to gay bathhouses because no one ever wants to hook up with me in the more "conventional" settings (eg. Clubs, dating apps/sites). This feeling of rejection always gets me majorly depressed. I don't think I am ugly, but I know that I am not the most attractive person in clubs/gyms/apps -- so I go to places where I am, for the attention.

My partner for 3 years (which I love very much) does not know I am doing this. We do not have sex because I don't want to, and I don't know the reason why. Anyone here do?

Well, R259, why did Hugh Grant get caught with a fat, ugly street prostitute when he had Liz Hurley at home?

I blew out the bathroom at my friend's party last night. Must've been that pasta salad!

R221 How much did he cost?

[quote] They should shoot every illegal that tries to cross the boarder.

They should shoot everyone who doesn't know the difference between "border" and "boarder."

A bookstore opened on Castro Street in San Francisco years back but closed quickly due to shoplifting loses. I was part of the shoplifters. I swiped a book a day there while it was opened. I love shoplifting and still due it each day I leave the house.

[quote] I love shoplifting and still due it each day I leave the house.

Too bad you can't spell. Can you read?

I'm female,when I first found out about sex I was so disgusted and 25 years later I still am.I've had lots of sex and always find it strange and gross. I get huge crushes on men so I know I'm not asexual. The weird thing is that I never was sexually abused. Oh well there has to be others out there like me but it's not something I talk about.

None of my family or friends know that I have never gotten over my ex and have spent nearly every day of the last four plus years in deep depression. They think I dont answer my phone because I am out socializing or on a date when really I am at home, alone with no one to talk to but my cat. I dont expect things to change and have come to accept that this is the way it will be for the rest of my life.

R215 has silent Tourette's LOL

The people here who think sex is disgusting and germy are Virgo's or people with Virgo rising LOL

I act like I love being single and don't give a shit but I'm lonely and want a boyfriend. I have no idea how to have a relationship though all I can do is casual sex and I stop talking to them and block their numbers after. I want to meet someone who fascinates me and wants me too not just some idiot with a huge cock or a nice body

R246, don't know why you are on a gay site but you do know that you can be asexual but not aromantic? Check out AVEN's FAQ about asexuality to see if it fits for you.

Was at a party and let out a fart when I was laughing at something, my friend's head whipped back when he caught a whiff and I kind of nodded towards another person close by, blaming him. It was really a toxic one , I could not take the blame.

r251 been on this site forever,best site on the internet. thanks for the tip, never heard of aromantic.I hope it's not to bad.

R215 wrote, "Sometimes while speaking with someone and looking polite and interested, my brain will think things like "you fat pig" and "take a look at those wrinkles" and "gosh you're ugly" or some horrible racial epitaph. As I do it I am horrified at myself and hope the person can't read my thoughts."

I am the same way... I have fantasies about telling them:

"Who dresses you?" or "Didn't you look in a full-length mirror this morning?" and "Dude, if you just once stood in front of a mirror nude, you'd know know fat and disgusting you look." and the worst, "Stupid fugly Rican, get out of here."

I do not have a poker face, I'm sure people have read my thoughts by the way I'm staring.

R253, aromantic just means having no romantic desire - you said that you have crushes on men so I was guessing not aromantic if you meant romantically, but you can still be asexual if you don't want sex. That's all.

R73/R184, I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I'm not good enough to know if a person online is going to get a job he's applying for. I had no idea you were a teacher. I hope with all my heart that you do get the job you want. Not just teaching, but on the management side as well.

It's interesting you ask to be a teacher, because a good teacher is this figure - strong and nourishing. Don't sell yourself short.

Do you like to paint? If you painted your self image now, it will come out all out dark and sad. However, things are not as bad as you think.

Try and paint the perfect moment in your life, including everything - relationship, job, house. Don't start your dream from the bottom, start it from the positive place you want to get to and then get reality to work towards that dream. The list of things we don't have is endless, but what is it that you really want and will make you happy in the long run?

When we find ourselves in a dark place, depression makes us stay there and die, while in reality all it takes to get out is simply holding up a light. We never know what life has in store for us just around the corner, don't let depression rob you of the now or your future.

Oh, and go to the doctor already and be careful around green things. I kid. Or not.

R256 Will I ever fall in love or have sex again? I can't really figure out how to escape the situation I'm in but willing to do anything.

R256, I've been substituting the last 7 years trying to get a full-time job as a special ed teacher. So far no luck. I also work nights at an Amazon.com warehouse which I loathe.

Working with special needs kids is the most fun job I have ever had. People think it is all gloom and sadness, but those kids are a joy to be around. We take them on field trips, participate in area sports, etc...

[quote]Don't be judgey, you motherfuckers!

Yeah! Cheer me on and make me feel great about my suicidal choices! You see? THIS is the STIGMA I shriek about! It's a STIGMA to have anyone tell me that not all outcomes of bad decision making are equal and good! No one, especially I, should ever use critical thinking about my own behavior! WAAAHHH!

I have discovered that I have Trichotillomania.

It's fairly mild, I just yank out my eyebrows, but I have to watch it, or I will make a bald patch. It's like cutting I guess, I just feel like stress is lessened for a bit after I yank out (and then stare at and play with) the hairs. They treat Trich with Zoloft, but I had already been taking Zoloft for years, when I noticed myself yanking out my eyebrows!

Hey R[145] how about a link to your xtube account, and some hints about who the other guy is.

R95, a boyfriend in San Francisco told me that he was an extraterrestrial. He seemed quite serious. And he had the most amazing eyes. So green and clear.

[quote]Oh, and go to the doctor already and be careful around green things. I kid. Or not.

This is exactly why self-professed psychics are full of it. You've offered nothing helpful or insightful, just vague advice with a woo-woo veneer.

Careful around green things? Vehicles? Trees? Jello? All of the above? Not much help, is it?

Now if you said, "Avoid the green pickup truck that will pass you tomorrow on the left", and you turned out to be right, that would be a different story.

R262, was he part Japanese? I guess I shouldn't be surprised that there is more than one out there.

when I was fifteen I got raped by an older dude at a college party. sex for me is difficult now

When Andrew Cunanan was on his cross-country rampage, I swear I met him at Fritz in Boston. He was wearing clothes that I thought made him look like a circus clown. His pants had bold stripes, and both his shirt and pants were oversized. He was soft spoken, and had an accent I couldn't place. Whatever it was, it wasn't a Boston, RI, or NY accent.

So I was chatting him up, not yet realizing who he was. I recall that he kept contradicting himself, when he wasn't being evasive. Like saying he goes to Fritz all the time, then asking later where the bathroom was, that kind of thing.

Eventually we al learned the he has driven a stolen truck from Chicago (I think) to NYC, but I think there was enough unaccounted for time, for him to have been in Boston.

Nobody believes me, but I think it was him.

I believe you R266. I met Henry Lee Lucas in 1980 in Jacksonville Florida when he gave me a ride in a shabby old van late one night as I was leaving a bar. No one believes me either,but I know the truth. I gave him $3 for gas,he tried to have sex with me but even as drunk as I was something scared me about him and I jumped out at a stop light. A year later he was all over the news and I totally freaked out ! He was hard to forget with that glass eye.

You're right we don't believe you.

I believe 266. I had a red Jeep Cherokee. Cunanen had stolen one. I was going into a gay bar in Randolph MA and got interrogated. A cop friend told me they were staking out the bars looking for him. The cops couldn't have been too bright as Cunanen was part Polynesian and I look like a leprechaun.

I recall hearing on the news that Cunanen's vehicle was spotted in Boston, but I've never heard it corroborated after the final investigation on his travels.

I believe you, R266. I "dated" someone who went on to become a somewhat infamous, though unconvicted, murderer.

R271, infamous, but unconvicted? He'd have to be dead, or on trial. Don't leave me this way, babe, spill it!

These have always been among my favorite DL threads.

Most of the stuff I "just know" is not really significant. No, I don't tell people because it generally creeps them out and it's not something I do/can do intentionally.

For example, a friend/co-worker was in a meeting and I was in my office. I suddenly felt that my co-worker wanted a 3 Musketeers bar. Totally out of the blue. So I got one out of the vending machine and put it on his desk.

He later came into my office and asked me if I had put that candy bar on his desk because he had been thinking about getting one. I admitted I had and shrugged it off.

Just little stuff like that. Nothing serious and no predicting the future. Even if I could, I wouldn't tell anyone but my family since they understand.

On the wall of the second floor landing of my house are three light switches. One is for the landing, one is for the attic fan, and one is for the front hallway.

I have lived in my house for almost 30 years and I still can't keep them straight.

Nice try, R274, but we are all thinking about getting a 3 Musketeers Bar, all the time, as I'm sure is true with your friend. Especially if he occasionally has one.

Now let me read your mind. I can do it. I will tell you what you are thinking, you are thinking...you are thinking...you are thinking that I cannot do it. Am I right? That is the same kind of circumstance as with the candy bar. It's not mind-reading, it's just a knowledge of human nature.

I'm a virgin, and have never ever been in a relationship.

For some reason, I still have a hard time with my right and left.

Just today, I meant to write something describing it "on the left" and I wrote "on the right".

R260, I have it too. I yank my eyebrows, nosehair and, at night, pubes.

Me too, Dustin. Many people do, actually, although I only learned that recently. I always get left and right mixed up, unless I stop and think about it -- and even then I'm likely to say "left" when I mean "right," and vice versa.

Whatever, r276. You believe what you want to believe.

The only thing I need to cover the lands in a second darkness is my ring. I think I put it on the sink when I was doing my moisturizing routine and poof it was gone.

r280 - is it common? Is there a name for it?

I also have problem with left and right. It is actually easier if I look at my feet.

I almost had to repeat kindergarten because I couldn't tie my shoes.

R265, I'm sorry. There has to be a way to get to a better place with that.

I am in my 20s and i am still a virgin through sheer force of will and some phobias I've had, along with a distorted body image. Sometimes, I walk around in public and i yawn all the time just to stop myself from crying.

I could've had sex over a hundred different times or even just have made dozens of lifelong friends but I preemptively push people away or just run away from them. I just wish people would stop staring at me suggestively sometimes because it hurts me. It also flatters me though.

I'm probably a horrible person but I amuse myself from time to time by being a flirt or tease and then I totally blueball the person and back away. I guess I alleviate my frustration by frustrating other people, but in the end I'm all alone.

I have Ebola. I got it from a flight attendant in Nigeria and am currently staving off the dehydration and internal organ failure with a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc and all Hulu Plus episodes of 'Millionaire Matchmaker.' Global epidemics are so boring.

When you're learning to march, they teach you to squeeze two fingers together at the sound of the command. This way you have two paces to get it correct.

Try it.

when I was in my early 20s a boyfriend asked me out of town, to the beach, on a business trip. I was free to do whatever during the day, but I was to fuck him at night. he asked me to use his credit card to book the hotel, rent the car, make reservations for dinner, ect.

so I rent, what I thought, was a swanky hotel. they had porn on the TV and an in room heart shaped hot tub, fire place, beach front. awesome. lets fuck.

we fly in, get the car, I drop him off at work, drive to the hotel and its a SHITHOLE. filthy shag carpet, dead flies in the wine glasses, pubic hair IN the bed. the hot tub is filthy with soap scum. the room stinks. clearly we wont be the first to fuck in this joint, the furnature feels sticky with cum and theres a film on every surface. gross. its 9am. I spend maybe 10 minutes in the room. turn on my heel and march back into the office. I want my money back.

"no."

"yes. this room is filthy."

"no."

my eyes narrow. I cock my head to the side and purse my lips. "fine. have it your way."

I went to the grocery store and bought several items. a sheet set, pillows and a blanket. a large container of comet. 2 gallons of orange juice. several cans of sardines. clam juice. mothballs. a ton of liquor. rolling papers and condoms.

we fucked and watched porn. that was fun. I yanked all the bedding off and slept in clean bedding. got drunk, smoked weed.

took boyfriend to work the next day, then I trashed that fucking hotel room. I poured 2 gallons of orange juice and a few cans of sardines behind the cheap plastic shower wall had separated from the sheet rock. jammed sardines down the drains. dumped comet ALL IN that hot tub. sardines and OJ in the planters holding the plastic plants. clam juice in the corners of the shag carpet. checked out early and went to stay somewhere else. had a wonderful time the rest of the week.

the manager called to scream at me, TWO MONTHS LATER. they hadn't bothered to "clean it", until another guest booked the room. the smell they must have encountered when they walked in. wow. I denied any involvement, after all I hadn't been there in MONTHS.

when we came back a few months later I drove by to have a laugh and the hotel was closed. made my day. boyfriend never found out, card was never charged for damages, and I for sure got his moneys worth.

R289, that is classic! You are my kind of guy! I like a man who knows how to get even. But - why OJ?

when I was 18 and doing some of my very first grocery shopping I left a gallon of OJ in my trunk for maybe 3 or 4 days during the summer, by accident. it exploded and THE SMELL. it ruined the car. I couldn't get the smell out no matter how many times I cleaned it. :)

[quote]my eyes narrow. I cock my head to the side and purse my lips.

Mary!

R292 Jews are only professional victims to professional Jew haters like you.

R292, they win enough Oscars as they do. Every Holocaust movie/documentary is automatically an Oscar contender.

FF the anti-Semitic comment at R292.

R296 proves my point...

That's great, r289! I wish I had the guts to do that sort of thing but I'm always afraid I'll be found out!

TWO MONTHS!! Fuck! That's disgusting!

I'm a writer hired on at a large-ish site that sells DVDs. Today I was told my work, which has been fine for a year, has to change immediately -- write puff pieces about the films so they can sell more DVDs, or else get fired.

My editor is some blogger. No pro experience, just a blogger. The name of her website was misspelled for years until someone finally corrected her. She's only professional and polite to the straight male employees.

r292 get out of here you disgusting thing.

I have to poop.

LMAO I love R289, did he comment on how gross the room was when he got there? XD

On right vs. left and getting them confused:

I had the very tip of my right ring finger chopped off in a car door when I was 3 or 4 and always touch it to remember which hand is the right one.

What part of my brain controls that?

As of tomorrow (rent) I will be flat broke.

R304---Where did you start and how did you get to this final destination?

I'm from Florida. It's so shameful. Please don't judge me.

My brother=in-law seduced me --M2M sex -- when I was 17, he was 32. He is still married to my sister[ we never talk what happened, almost 30 years ago

R303 Interestingly enough, that would be the Quadrigeminal (tectal) lamina Cerebellum. If something similar happens to you later on, sensations and memories related to them can become confused, so be careful.

Oh, honey, I'm in my dotage, that tectal lamina Cerebellum ship has sailed.

But thanks.

I have cheated on my partner for years, since we met basically. I cannot stop.

I am very competitive and jealous of my friends who are more successful than I am. When any of them start a new project and I realize it's not that great, I stop being threatened and I am secretly glad - oh, I can top that.

I talk about this to my therapist, but I pretend to be happy for my friends' successes as I do not want to appear assholish.

[quote]I talk about this to my therapist, but I pretend to be happy for my friends' successes as I do not want to appear assholish.

Sounds like insecurity and self-esteem issues.

R312, Ya think??

I once used beef stock in a chicken soup recipe. Can you imagine?!

314, you bitch!

(sorry for my english) While attending english classes at Gallaudet University in 1998 - I am a deaf guy from Brazil - I found later (already back to my country) that one of my closed friend was a murderer. He was a stocky boy from Guam and slept in front of my room. I found that later throught some friends, they have related that campus went into some hysterical atmosphere because two students were found dead (and guess what, both were gays). I never forgot a day when Joe - that was the killer's name - apparently found that I am gay spying my things in the drawers, and when we are playing fight (he was good at wrestling) and pushed me against the wall and said looking my eyes "I know you are gay". I laughed and just confirmed in ironical way, and we went on as nothing had happened. He used to look for my company as I was into sports and I felt some admiration from him about my engagments with sports. Some months later I came back to my hometown and he began to kill guys in their dorms. Now he is in a prision in Guam. That scared me!

Gay AND Brazilian, R316?

On a score of one to ten I bet you're a twenty!

And, a lot of deaf guys are hot too. don't know why.

Gay, deaf and Brazilian you sir, are a trifecta of sex!

I'm dead. None of my friends know.

R318, how often do you come across deaf guys? I mean, it's not like I see them signing etc., in my daily life. Just wondering.

Typical. R316 shares a fascinating tidbit and the only responses he gets are about his potential hotness because of his nationality and impairment. Could you guys be any more stereotypical?

R316, do you have a link to an article about this Joe guy and his crimes?

[quote]Sounds like insecurity and self-esteem issues.

I didn't see you post anything about yourself. Why is that? You love to judge other people, but won't expose yourself. Is that it?

Insecure indeed.

Same goes for the dipshit at R313.

R323, you seem a little thin-skinned. Thin-skinned people usually have low self-esteem. Do you have older siblings that often bullied you or took away attention from you or your accomplishments?

to [R321], he full name is Joseph Mesa Jr., you can google joe guam deaf I think there are some articles.

Keep talking to that therapist R311/R322/R323. Seriously.

Thank you, R325/R316!

[quote]how often do you come across deaf guys? I mean, it's not like I see them signing etc., in my daily life. Just wondering.

There's a school for blind and/or deaf in St. Augustine, Fla.

Do blind and/or deaf people have sexual urges like the rest of us?

R328, oh, that makes sense, thanks for the reply!

Lmao @ r289