My mother was only 72 when she died. She was planning on going into the hospital to have an angioplasty on her legs. Two weeks before the surgery, my very modest and practical mother burst into tears and told me over the phone "I'm going to die." She had never made a pronouncement like this before, obviously, and quickly composed herself and we went on with the converstation. As it turned out she passed away on the operating table two weeks later from a brain hemorrhage while undergoing surgery. I have always wondered how she knew. Any stories of someone predicting their own death? It kind of freaks me out. I don't think I'd want to know. I mean I definitely wouldn't want to know.
I probably shouldn't be r1 since I can't live up to the billing but I'm interested to hear what everyone else has to say on this topic as well.
My mom has been predicting her demise and it's scaring me.
I believe that sometimes they may have a premonition and other times they're visited by deceased loved ones. I didn't notice it then but in retrospect, my father's demeanor changed the week approaching his death from a 'sudden' heart attack. He became very contemplative and reflective during that time which was very unlike him.
Did he say anything about how he was feeling, r2?
How did he become more reflective? Did he talk about things in the past?
These folks aren't feeling well, to the extent that they are not optimistic about getting better. If folks were getting visits from dead loved ones the week before they died, don't you think more people would've spoken up about it?
OP, it may just be that like many people about to have surgery, your mother believed she was going to die. But unlike most people, she actually did.
In other words, a stopped clock is right twice a day.
I think my Mom knew. I was home visiting her and there were subtle things she was saying that in hindsight made me think she knew she was on the way out. I think she didn't feel well.
What pisses me off is that I think the doctors caused the problem to begin with. They put her on a blood thinner and told her to take an adult aspirin daily to prevent strokes (she had never had one).
After five years of blood thinners and aspirin she became anemic and fainted. They put her in the hospital and gave her a pint of plasma and 4 pints of blood. She was only 4'10" and weighed 100 pounds. She had a heart attack while still in the hospital and died.
No one really wants to know but sometimes a person just gets that knowledge and sometimes it's the knowledge of someone else's impending death.
If you are facing a serious medical procedure or what have you, saying, "I'm going to die," can simply be expressing your fears. It doesn't mean you're having a premonition.
Meanwhile, if you are feeling really physically ill, it's possible to know that you are near death. This is especially true of people who have had experience with bad health.
I know it's the "American Way" (for the healthy at least) to be in complete denial of death until the moment someone dies. And then denial asserts itself again. But if your body is winding down, chances are you are feeling it as a physical sensation and you don't have to be a doctor to figure it out.
A friend's father complained about stomach/bowel problems all his life, a few real, some self-induced, many imagined. In his very late 80's he was diagnosed with colon cancer. He announced to his soon-to-be-shocked family, "See, I told you."
In the month before my father died of a massive stroke he told me a lot of things about his life that he'd never talked about, primarily his experiences in a raider group during WW II. He'd always said he'd never talk about them because they were so horrible no one would believe him, and they were worse than anything I could imagine. It was way out of his nature to be so open, but I didn't question it. He apologized for any mistakes he made as a parent. He told me how much he loved being my father. We'd always been pretty close but this was a whole other level of closeness. There were things that I found out later he'd never even told my mom.
Predictions of death are always correct.
Nurses always shudder to hear someone say something like that, because sometimes it's true.
In the modern era of xrays, MRIs, labwork, and so on, we can forget that people have an intuitive knowledge of their own bodies. I've heard people predict their unexpected deaths, and or blurt out a correct diagnosis long before the doctor realizes what the problem is. Of course this sort of thing can be wrong or sheer drama, but sometimes it's correct.
I've experienced it myself. I had a cancer scare a few years ago, and somehow I KNEW that 1) I didn't have cancer, and 2) I was about to die anyway. As it happened, my intuition was correct on both fronts, and the feeling that I was about to die got me to the ER in time.
Wow, r11, that was a great post. thanks for sharing.
My family has a history of bowel issues. Minor ailments over the years and lots of things we can't eat and so forth. There's also a larger percentage chance than average amongst us of colon cancer. R9's friend's father was probably right, in a manner of speaking.
Don't rely on your doctor for everything. If you know your family history you should be proactively pushing for preventative measures. For me, that means proving the family history to the doctor and the insurance so that they'll take me seriously enough early enough to do colonoscopies and such. If you just say in your yearly physical 'my stomach hurts sometimes' they'll brush you off. Same for being out of breath for heart stuff, they'll think that you just don't exercise enough or something.
Being in the hospital is what scares the shit out of me. I've had to be there for friends and family when it's happened to them. You need a strong willed advocate to sit with you all day. The doctor comes in for maybe a minute at some unknown point in the day. That's the one chance for someone to push for them to spend time on you, make sure they know what your issue is, and push for whatever needs to be done. Not 'this works for most people' or 'we usually just wait it out'. Medical care in this country is terrifying.
My mother said she'd die at the same age as her own mother. And she did to the exact day (from a medical mistake).
As we were leaving the house for his routine doctor's appt., he turned around and looked at the living room and started to cry. I'd only seen him cry when a relative died. When we got to the doctor, he admitted my father to the hospital and he was dead the next week.
Also Gilda Radner seemed to know. See link.
r15 here. Sorry about the poor post. The second paragraph is about my father.
Angioplasty isn't surgery.
My father stepped out of the passenger side of my brother's vehicle and said "this is the most beautiful, perfect day" and fell over stone dead. When my brother ran around to my dad's side of the car he said my dad looked as if he had been dead for an hour rather than seconds.
My dad NEVER said things like that, never.
My father was the same way. He died from cancer just as I was about to turn 21 and he'd been saying stuff like "Buddy, I'm falling apart." for a few years by then. I just laughed and thought it was 'cause he was in his late 50's and starting to feel the usual aches and pains. He'd never go to the doctor either. By the time he finally went, it was too late and he passed away nearly a month to the day he was diagnosed.
He'd been getting kinda morbid for a few years before that, but I never thought anything of it.
Now, my Mom goes on and on about how she's gonna leave the hose to my sister and I and how she's scared she'll die aloe and we won't be there for her when she does - however, since we're both living close by her right now, I gather she's planning on staying alive for quite awhile. She smokes just like my Dad did and refuses to get checked out even though my sister and I keep telling her to, especially after what happened to Dad.
thanks for sharing, guys. it's actually a bit painful for me to read those stories of people who, i a way, saw it coming - because it was the exact opposite when my dad died. he had a heart attack playing tennis, and we guess he was somewhat late for it, because he left half a cup of coffee and the newspaper turned to some page on the kitchen table before he left the house.
I have a strong feeling that I will not see my 60's. It is actually kind of comforting as I'm planning my life to the age of 58.
I have a strong feeling I won't see 44, but that's because I can't find work and will have to end my life soon.
My grandfather died in 1984
My mom died in 1994
My father died in 2004
They were my only family. I'm the last one left.
Ever since my dad died I just had this feeling that I will die in 2014. The way things are going for me financially it won't be such a terrible thing if I'm right.
Back in the summer my sister was talking about taking my parents to Colorado next spring. Dad told her not to make plans because he wouldn't be here in six months. In October he was diagnosed with cancer and died two weeks later.
A lot of people with cancer symptoms, bloody stools and such, are too afraid to seek a doctor's advice or just have decided that they never want to go through the torture that is chemo. So they might know through physical evidence, not paranormal means.
In 2006, I gave the matter some thought and said that on a specific day in 2009, my brother would be diagnosed with a serous illness. But I did not discuss it with him or anyone who knew him.
On that very day, he went to the ER at NY Presbyterian Hospitsl. He was admitted and died four days later.
So... are you saying you can choose when people die, R26? Perhaps you worded your post wrong.
No, R27; I did not suggest that I can choose when people die. I simply observed that I can sometimes predict when people will get sick. And maybe die.
Sometimes you are right, sometimes you are wrong, that's the problem with psychic ability. It's nothing you can really count on, so you keep your mouth shut and hope you are wrong.
I have lived past the age of my Mother and oldest brother. Now in my 70's. Everything from here on out is graxy as far as I am concerned.
I have had a few times lately when I really thought my number was coming up, mostly because I just didn't "feel right", but they passed without incident. Usually a good burp set things right again.
I remember a neighbor who was in the living room watching TV and chatting with his wife when suddenly he just got up from his chair and went into the kitchen. When he didn't return, she went in to find him dead in a kitchen chair. There was no outcry, no mention of not feeling well and he had not even been sick, but I guess something told him to spare his wife from seeing him die.
My mom died this past summer at 92 years old. She was actually in pretty good health...on no medication, just normal aches and pains for a 92 year old. She lived out of state and I talked to her by telephone a couple of times a week. On Sunday night I called and as we talked she said "I'm dying". I asked her what was wrong and did she need to call for help. Nothing wrong...I'm just dying.
I called my brother (same town where she lived) and told him about our conversation. The next day she was really weak and somewhat unresponsive so my brother took her to the hospital. He called Tuesday morning and she had died...calmly, quickly and peacefully. I guess she just knew.
R31, unless she adopted you late in life, if she was 92 this past summer, aren't you a little long in the tooth to be calling someone "my mom"?
Believe me, it's all self-fulfilling prophecy. I know this first-hand. If someone talks about their death, make them "take it back" and say things like "I'm going to live until 150." Your body is programmed to go into "death mode" and if you start seeking death, your body will find a way to get to it. It's some weird human mechanism but you don't have to put up with it if you want. Humans are meant to live a long, long time.
A classic hypochondriac, my grandmother predicted her imminent death every day for three decades.
She finally died peacefully in her own bed at the age of 92, enjoying fairly good health almost to her last day.
R32, what should we call our mothers?
This thread is really creeping me out.
The Lord works in mysterious ways.
I have read many a dumb post on the DL and forced myself to say nothing about them, but let me make this perfectly clear, r32 is indeed, the dumbest post I have ever seen on this site. Incredibly stupid to the nth degree.
[quote]This thread is really creeping me out.
That's just you dying.
My dad had two brothers who died at age 50 from a sudden and massive heart attack, so he thought he would also die at 50. it made him a nervous wreck. but he lived until he was 85. My mom, a dietitian, took full credit for his long life. Unfortunately, his nephew died at 50 of a massive heart attack and my older sister died at 42 of major heart disease. I am 61 and get checked annually, eat a vegetarian diet mostly, exercise, and do all those things we are supposed to do but realize it is all a crap shoot. Summary: the greatest pleasure in life is a good meal. Enjoy it and move on.
I used to run every day in a city park, most days I would see this older lady, maybe 60 years old walking her cute little chihuahua. I would say hi and one day I said "cute dog" it really was a super dog, all smiley and sweet. So one day she stops me and tells me she's going into the that in for surgery and she fears she won't survive. She says her brother won't take care of her dog if she dies and she wants to know if she can give her brother my name and phone number in case she does not make it. I said sure, I mean what the heck it was a great dog.
I'm calculating the odds and I ask what type of surgery are we talking about. Hemorrhoids she says. As whatever is my witness it took everything I have to keep from dissolving into laughter. Of course anyone could die on the operating table but still I'm way too juvenile to think of that at the moment.
She must have lived.
I was a caregiver for my father and he had recently come home from the hospital after a fall where he hit his head and suffered a heart attack. He was in his early 90s. One Sunday night he got up and walked into the kitchen where I was cleaning and asked for a hug. He had never done anything like this before. That night, putting him to bed, getting the room arranged etc, I sat with him for over an hour and we talked and laughed - it was wonderful. The next day his visiting nurse came and when they went for a walk he asked me if I would go with them. To my regret I said no, I had some work to do and was always grateful for a break from constant caregiving. Later that afternoon, he developed a headache and by 6 PM was unconscious from a brain hemorrhage and died that night. I think that he knew that the end was very close when he came in to ask for a hug. He'd lived with illness and always had good insights into his health.
I did, OP, about 34 years ago. I got involved with a group of people who had sessions with a medium. One evening one of the women asked if what she saw would come true. The spirit that spoke through the medium said "yes" and she got really upset. The next day or so I asked a woman I was closer friends with what was going on with this woman. She said the woman saw herself dying. She had a few details, which I can't remember now, but it involved someone she didn't know and she was married at the time. She did cheat on her husband, though. About 2 weeks later, she and another friend, who were both good friends with my friend went out to a dance club. Late in the evening she went for a motorcycle ride with a guy she just met. They were hit by a semi truck and she was killed instantly.
I've had Zsa Zsa in my death poll for 8 years now.
Berta from the Johnson & Johnson commercial knows it's her time to die. She keeps asking her hospice nurse to leave a window open for her soul to depart, as is the custom in her native Denmark. But that bitch just keeps saying 'Not tonight, Berta... Not tonight.' What the commercial doesn't show is Berta's reply: 'Bitch, I am in AGONY. Open the motherfucking window!'
Birth is the strongest predictor of death. 100% correlation.
I think it's pretty widely accepted in the medical community that lots of people who are near death have a distinct, precursory feeling of being unwell, in a manner unlike anything else one experiences throughout life. I feel like I've often read that one unusual but reliable symptom of a heart attack is an intuitive feeling of dread. WebMD calls it a feeling of "impending doom". Vague as hell, but clearly there's something to it if so many sources list it.
"PT109" will be showing on the eve of the anniversary of JFK's murder. In that movie there is a scene where a sailor speaks to Kennedy about his eerie feeling that he will be dead before the night was over. This premonition was common among many servicemen who died prematurely.
I wasn't there the day Mom predicted her own death. I made my reservations for when she would be recuperating. But she died on the table.
She had a little cabin cruiser called the Silver Belle and we went out on it one perfect afternoon, the last time I saw her. It seems like gay guys either really love their mothers or really hate them. I hated my mom for years. She was a conservative, cold woman who turned into a warm interesting woman later in life.
We both remarked on how beautiful the day was as we sat together on the boat and cruised down the waterway. I had never seen the water so calm before. We were cutting through it like glass. My stepfather was on the bridge and he took a picture of me standing at the bow looking forward, holding onto the chrome railing.
When the picture came back, there were beams of rainbow light shooting out in an arc over me, most likely from the sunlight hitting the chrome, but it made it special to me.
Later that day we were sitting down to dinner when a bird flew into the window behind us and left the shadowy but distinct suggestion of an angel on the glass. You see this all in retrospect, of course.
My mother actually admitted to having a little bit of ESP when she was younger. She just knew certain things. She saw bad things too and I think it scared her. So she didn't see much use for it. "You can't count on it or anything."
But that day she burst into tears and said "I'm going to die" shocked me. Reading the stories people wrote here, it's kind of interesting to ponder the imponderables of life.