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How Congress Plans To Boost Its Approval Rating

[bold]Following the government shutdown and the debt ceiling crisis, polling has showed that a record 85 percent of Americans disapprove of Congress. Here’s how the nation’s lawmakers are attempting to boost their dismal approval ratings:[/bold] • Addressing all constituents as “master” • Free autographs for entire month of December • Trying even harder to defund Affordable Care Act • Touring the country performing live legislation sets based on audience suggestions • Each visitor to House or Senate gallery allowed to dump one 32-ounce soda onto congressman of their choice • Inviting legendary guitarist G.E. Smith to sit in on congressional sessions • Debuting smiling, lovable plush Bill-y the Legislator Alligator mascot who dances around the congressional chambers at all times • Passing even just one bill


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