I'm a gay guy who is friends with several straight couples. In most instances, I started out as the friend of the boyfriend/husband; however, I'm likable enough that I've never had a hard time winning over girlfriends/wives.
One thing that has been bothering me lately is the fact that simple gestures on my part are blown out of proportion, and used by wives/girlfriends to emasculate their husbands/boyfriends (my friends). If I spend the night at their house and make up my sleeping area in the morning, the act is used to compliment me while shaming my friends. If I wash the dishes because someone else cooked, kudos to me and shame on my friends. Today I helped the wife of a friend do something fairly innocuous and...BAM...she spent 10 minutes turning a simple gesture into a weapon to beat down my buddy.
I'm a high-strung gay guy whose only responsibility is myself. The reason I try to be helpful around my friends who are couples is because it usually reduces tension and makes more time for fun. I don't appreciate being thrust into rivalries that could chip away at really important friendships, so I typically side with my buddies as they're being castigated.
But what I'm truly left to wonder is WHY, WHY, WHY would someone feel justified in trashing someone they love in front of others? I understand that women (and sometimes gay men) often feel taken for granted by grown men who act like little boys; however, is it really necessary to bring third parties into the mx?
You have good manners. Those (straight) guys apparently don't.
Most straight couples resent the hell out of each other, deep down inside.
Bobby baby Bobby bubbe.
Say more, R2. Not sure I know what you mean about couples resenting other couples. Like jealousy or competition with each other?
Your friends sound like assholes, OP. How difficult is it to make a bed or wash some dishes so that one's partner isn't stuck with all the work?
Granted, if a partner tried to dump all the housework on me, I wouldn't bitch and moan about it. Instead, I'd kick his ass out.
Tell your friends to pick up after themselves and do the fucking dishes occasionally. Maybe they'll listen if it comes from you, and not the wife.
You should suck one of your buddy's cocks in front of his wife/girlfriend, and see if she berates him for not going down on her often enough.
cock, not cocks
I keep my visits with married friends short. Once you wash the dishes, it's only a step to cleaning the filthy stove and emptying dead things from their refrigerators. The cherry cabinets and ss appliances that were once all the rage? Covered in perma-smudge . They don't even know how to sweep a floor properly.
Worse yet are the ones with children. I dog sat for a family. They pushed toys, paperwork, and other garbage on top and under all tables - with paths to chairs, sofa, tv, and the stairs. This went beyond clutter.
This would lead a sane person to murder/suicide.
We'd be so glad to see YOU!
They hate each other and the monotony of their horrible wretched lives. how sad.
r4 He means that the persons within the couples resent one another. Wives resent their husbands and vice versa.
Tickity tack. Worse all the time. I had a female friend with an able-bodied husband and adult daughter still living at home, who asked me if I'd come over and clean her house while she was laid up with an injury. I didn't answer her, which was cowardly, but... they need to work out their issues without me. What is wrong with people?
R1 cluelessly mistakes the issue here - the bad manners of using a guest's actions to shame a spouse in front of the guest versus domestic inequities. The men are not the unmannerly ones here, you idiot. The cunts are.
And that's the answer to your question, OP. Women are man-hating cunts who love nothing more than emasculating and embarrassing their partners in the guise of praising someone else. The twats are putting you down for being polite and mannerly - a hostess would keep her insufferable yap shut about such things except to say, "Thank you for being such a great guest." They also are using you to shit on their spouses.
I suggest avoiding these situations in the future. If your first and only job is taking care of yourself, sleep elsewhere when visiting or go home. You do not need to be exposed to yet more misery caused by out-of-control, vicious, entitled cunts.
Charming answer, R14. Your mother must be so proud.
Women (or as you refer to them, "cunts" and "twats") are just fine with penis-people who have decent manners.
Decent manners do not include berating your spouse in front of his friend.
The people in this thread blaming OP's male friends are so obviously women.
When I still a closted Xtian and belonged to a church I got invited to friends' houses for dinner a lot. I was told when I was young that you never go to dinner empty handed so I found that a cheap bouquet of flowers worked.
However, there were a couple of times where the wife takes the flowers, looks and her husband and spits out "I can't remember the last time YOU brought me flowers."
Women do this in part because their mothers did it. Their mothers also did it to them: "Why can't you be more like _______?" All that shit. They don't get it and they don't realize it's damaging.
Also, a lot of straight women don't see straight men as really human beings with normal feelings. This is in part the result of how most straight men project their feelings around women.
In short, it's shitty behavior, but most of the women don't realize it's shitty behavior.
It's also shitty behavior that most straight married men do leave the lion's share of the responsibilities to their wives who are then exhausted by them. And they resent it for good reason.
Straight married men act like children. Go socialize in a typical straight person suburb on any given weekend day and you'll see men dressed like little boys, acting like little boys, and frequently goading their kids into creating more trouble that their wives then have to deal with. The life of the heterosexual is a sick and boring life.
R19.is right, the life of a hetero is painfully boring. It's actually pretty good if you stay single but couple off and it becomes deadly dull.