Yes, I know I'm asking in the wrong place but I'm hopeful that one of you bitches will have a good answer.
I hurt someone recently with some cruel words and I would like to apologize but I'm not sure how to approach them.
Basically, I called this person a loser and a coward because he repeatedly promised to do something for me and then didn't.
"Sorry you can't handle the truth."
Never complain, never explain.
First off, you need to decide whether you're sorry you said it or sorry you thought it and said it. There's a difference.
And often times there are things said that can't ever be taken back. I lost a friend once who said something she couldn't take back. It wasn't the words so much as the intent, which was to hurt me as deeply as she possibly could. We tried and tried to fix it but we just drifted apart.
Even if that's your case, apologizing is the right thing to do.
Did he apologize for not fulfilling his promise? Did he offer an explanation?
What did he promise to do?
We can't help unless we know whether this is trivial or not, because you may benefit most from a good DL savaging.
I started reading your thread, OP, because it touched my heart and I wanted to help.
But then you called us all bitches.
I'm fighting back tears now.
JANBOT, your apology is accepted.
R6 you are a loser and a coward and cunt.
Given the circumstances you describe, I don't really see why you should apologize, OP.
Why do you wish to apologise?
I'm not real keen on being included in the term "bitches" myself, but to answer the OP's question, send a note via the Post Office, NOT an email.
Well, it isn't anything major but it was just he kept promising he would come over and pound my hole and he just didn't show up and said I had "misunderstood" him.
WTF? We had been texting for over a week about how we were going to hook up and fuck and then he just doesn't show or call or anything. So I texted him and told him he was a coward and a loser.
Now he's hanging around my friends asking about me.
Maybe I should just punch him in the face?
R11, if you are OP then you want to apologize in the hope that he will pound your hole later.
I too tend to make sexual promises I never fulfill. And certainly not with friends (I only fuck strangers that I severe ties with afterwards). In any case, I never expect anyone to believe them.
So, if you like him as a friend maybe you should, not exactly apologize, but win his good graces again. Or pound his hole. Who knows.
I'm sorry for (insert reason). I'm embarrassed by what happened and realize that my (insert behavior) was wrong.
Getting your hole pounded is not hard to accomplish. Obviously you are unsuited to each other.
Incidentally, what is it about you or your hole that would induce cowardliness? And are do you own your own home and work in the entertainment industry in LA?
Now why would you make promises you aren't going to follow up on, r13? That's a cunty thing to do.
You "never expect anyone to believe them"? WTF??? So you just troll the inter webs looking for hookups only to tease them and then not show?
You're a fucking cunt, you know that, right? A lying, two-faced cunt.
You have a bit of an anger problem, I gather, OP?
The most memorable apologies I've gotten are:
I'm sorry you took what I said personally (but...)
You must have misunderstood me.
I was just kidding.
I may have had too much to drink (surely you saw that).
I had a really bad day that day, I didn't mean to take it all out on you.
Try one of those. He'll love it.
Dear OP, I don't make promises on the web.
When you promise s.o. you are going to have sex with them, that's when for sure you are NOT. Imagine the pressure!
On the other hand, I've often promised I wouldn't, and then, of course, did. It's much more fun that way.
This is all from when I used to have sex. Now I'm married and don't have sex anymore, if that's any consolation to you, OP. My sexual "prime" was 18-31 and that's it.
Not generally, r17. Except when people tease me (like the les bitch who thinks it's all a big joke - ha ha not funny). What kind of guy teases you about fucking? That's just cruel.
Yes, I *had* had a bad day and I was looking forward to getting a good pounding then he just didn't show up.
So I was furious and hurt and I couldn't figure out why he would deliberately be a fucking asshole. What did I ever do to him to make him want to be such a cunt to me?
A lovely handwritten note in blue-black ink on cream-colored stationery is always appropriate.
Was he a cunt or an asshole? Or an anal cunt? (No, you wanted to be the anal cunt.)
No wonder straight men fucking hate women and think they're a bunch of lying whores, r13/18. You're living proof of a lying bitch.
Why do you even promise when you know you're not going to do it? Does it stroke your ego? Make you feel good?
Why can't you just be honest and say, "no, thanks"? Or would that mean you no longer can have the upper hand and no longer get any attention?
You've got serious issues with honesty.
OP, listen to one of these songs. They make people feel better.
OP, obviously you were very hurt by your friend. I don't think sexual promises should be made to people. You never know what you're going to do or not do in advance.
If I invite a girl over that I like, and we've flirted a bit and she knows I'm interested in women generally, it's quite obvious something might happen. But I certainly won't force it. It's just not pleasant. If it happens, it is very pleasant usually.
The way you talk about it makes it sound like a contract. I don't find anything attractive about that.
I'm sorry you had a bad day, and you were looking forward to something you didn't get. But he shouldn't have promised. Just promising to see you might have been enough. And then, maybe, given the right mood for the both of you, whatever happens, happens.
But I get lesbians are different than men.
OP, I think you need to think about this with a warm mug of coffee and a big sweater. Perhaps this an opportunity for you to exercise your capacity for forgiveness.
If THAT'S what this is all about, then OP wins the 2013 Mister Shallow award for DL posters - ugh!
OP, to be very honest you don't sound like a very sensual person. I never flirted with people who were single and not gone through with it. I also got a bunch of girls tell me no when I was younger. It's just part of the territory. Other than that, aaprt from the relationships I actually had, I've flirted with women who already had a (male) partner. It's just a bit of fun, for the both of us usually. We know that acting on our impulses would bring us more trouble than what it's worth.
And I've remained friends with most of my flirts.
I usually don't like straight men either, I enjoy the company of women much more. What happens between two people is much more about the mood than about "promises" made. And when you don't act on it, it's usually because you have qualms about it.
I have no idea how you can promise anything sexual to anyone unless you're actually doing it. How do you know how you are going to feel in a couple of hours, or days even? It's insane.
OP, it's a fuck up the ass... there'll be another one. Get over it.
OP, I have one word for you: Skywriting
Ooh, I like that, R29.
And you should write "It's not you, it's me"
Because it's true.
OP, don't apologize.
You are not one bit sorry. You're still incredibly pissed off that he didn't come over and fuck you. Your insulting tantrum was just an attempt to guilt-trip him into fucking you now. You only want to get back in his good graces so that he will throw you a fuck one of these days.
If you're ever actually sorry, apologize. If it's sincere, he'll accept it. Right now, unless he's a complete moron, he'll never believe your apology, nor should he.
OP: Lashing out at someone because he didn't give you something you wanted is not an appealing quality. No one was put on earth to serve as a tool of your will. True, we're not happy when someone says he'll come over for any reason, from helping with a household chore to just socializing)and then doesn't show up. But to utter words that could end a relationship marks poor social skills. It may be that you're too young to have suffered the major and minor tragedies that afflict everyone sooner or later--the death of people important to us, dire financial reverses, a brush with serious medical problems that we nonetheless survive. Once you've gone through things like that, this other stuff appears in proper perspective as minor glitches at most. I recently enjoyed a video night with an old friend. We like to show each other weird things--bootlegs of crazy old movies, mainly--and we always order a dinner from a place nearby. The main course was supposed to come with French fries, but they accidentally gave us cole slaw instead. I know people who would destroy the evening in sulking and fury, but we simply made the best of it. You know why? Because cole slaw doesn't matter. And not showing up to pound you doesn't matter. Friendship matters. Making a decent living matters. Survival matters.
I can only teach you the accepted WASP form of apologizing. Pour a drink and pretend it never happened.
R32, you're on the wrong site, dear. Buh-bye.
Look, this guy promised for a week that he would show up on such and such a day at a certain time and fuck me.
Let me be clear - this guy aggressively pursued ME. Everyday texting and asking if I would agree to see him. Everyday confirming the day and time we would hook up. Everyday I told him the same day and time.
Then the day and time came and - nothing. No text, no call, no nothing.
There's no need for argument
There's no argument at all
And if you never hear from him
That just means he didn't call
Or vice versa
That depends on where ever you're at
And if you never hear from me
That just means I would rather not
So I realize that HE owes ME an apology. He can go fuck himself.
[quote]He can go fuck himself.
You're right, R37. I wonder if he'll show up.
If only F&Fing actually did something, then maybe we could obliterate this shitstain of an insane OP from the DL for a little while.
If it's not a complete trolling, one assumes the party on question got a taste of the OP's underlying unpleasant, stupid, creepy, foul-mouthed, soulless personality and decided to acquire some distance. And the poor thing is now asking about the OP because he's wondering if he needs to call the police.
Anyone who actually says to another person that the person is a loser and a coward is unfit for human company. One of the nastiest creatures to appear here lately, and that's saying a lot. (Shudder)